#opens my coat to reveal shiny memes

[m-ieli-blog]

since i’m something of an uncreative mess with starters, would y’all appreciate some memes instead? B)

[sunken-standard]

16 Sherlolly for the ask meme thing :)

(From this ask meme, I’m assuming, since it’s the last I posted)  Thanks, anon :D

16: do either of them have a specialitem (an article of clothing, a necklace, a book) that they use whenthey miss the other? if so, what is it? what do they do with it(read, wear, look at, smell)?

Short answer: nah.  I don’t really seeeither of them as being that kind of sentimental at all.  They maysee something and be reminded of the other, but that “carrying atoken” trope just doesn’t suit either of them, IMO.  

That being said, I started a wanklockfic a long time ago but never made it to the really good bits; post-TRF,my version of Molly’s Christmas gift.  Slightly sacrilegious, probably.

Unfinished fic behind the cut; I knowI’ve posted at least one sentence of this before, but I don’t think Iposted more than that.  If I have, apologies.  It’s hard to keeptrack sometimes.

*

He was not a religious man.  Molly wasnot a religious woman.  When he opened her Christmas gift two daysafter she’d given it to him (finally working up to it through theguilt, which was hardly a respite from the weight of his sadness), hewas momentarily confused.  

It was a rosary.

Antique, obviously; nothing ornate. Tarnished silver cross and chain, a silver medallion bearing ashrouded skull in three-quarters profile for the centerpiece; carvedivory roses for the Our Fathers and deep red glass beads for the HailMarys.  Nice to look at, he supposed, though it was a bit Goth, evenfor his tastes.

While he was wondering exactly whyshe’d pick such an odd thing, he noticed a mark on one of the ivorybeads.  Habit had him reaching for the magnifying glass, pulling thelamp closer.  There was something odd about it, odd about the grainof the ivory.

Oh.

It was human ivory.  A molar. He examined the rest; all teeth.

Molly Hooper always found ways to beinteresting when he was least expecting it.

*

The rosary lived in the back of hisdresser drawer; he took it out sometimes when he needed to remindhimself that things weren’t always what they appeared at firstglance.  He wondered what kind of person it had belonged to, whoseteeth they were.  Probably the memento mori of a Victorian widow orsomesuch; he found the notion strangely romantic.  He wondered ifMolly had had similar thoughts when she bought it.  He found herather liked that idea, even if he didn’t want to admit it tohimself.

*

He had nothing of himself when he leftLondon; no coat, no wallet, no phone.  He was a ghost, after all. You can’t take it with you, as they say.  

*

He was waiting for a contact a weekinto his new existence in the shadows; Florence was hot and the sunwas bright.  He milled around a street vendor’s table near theCathedral, a hapless tourist.  The sun caught a deep red bead on acheap nickel-and-glass rosary; he bought it without letting himselfexamine why.

It ended up being useful; it gave himsomething to do with his hands while he kept his head bowed in a pewas he waited again the next day for the contact to bring him theflash drive she promised.

He tried not to let his mind drift toMolly like it threatened to do at the worst possible times in thepast week.  He’d been a fool and acted on impulse and fear of his ownmortality, kissing her roughly and asking her to remember him, thereal him; asking her to never reveal his secret, no matterwhat happened—if he died on the roof or if he landed wrong or if henever made it back to London.  Let them all forget, I only need youto remember.

It was quite possibly the cruelestthing he’d ever done.

*

He kept the rosary in his pocket.  Hewasn’t a person who believed in talismans or good luck charms or anysuch nonsense, but he found the simple act of going over the beadsone-by-one to be calming.  Strings of beads were used the world overfor meditation of one kind or another, it was hardly revolutionary.  

Some days he was too busy to thinkabout her.  Those were the good days, when he was actively gettingcloser to his end goal; closer to dismantling the entire network.

On the slow days and the bad days, shewas constantly in his thoughts.  She’d taken up residence in his MindPalace long ago, he couldn’t even pinpoint when.  She was mostly justthere, quiet and close, giving him the right things he needed when heput his hand out for something.  He was afraid to interact with hertoo much, afraid he might start building her into something shewasn’t.  He’d already done that with one Woman, much to his greatdisgust with himself.

*

The weeks turned into months.  In earlyDecember, he found himself in Prague.  He liked to meet hisinformants in churches; it had a certain old-fashioned Cold Warcharm.  In St. Vitus Cathedral, he read a pamphlet about the life ofJan Nepomucký(or, Anglicized, John of Nepomuk); the patron saint of secrets.  Hewasn’t really thinking when, two days later, he found himself in ashop tucked away on a side street that sold religious paraphanelia;he bought a pair of saint’s medals.  

Heattached one to the rosary in place of the cross (still in his pocketwherever he went); the other he folded up into a square of shiny redpaper and stuffed into an envelope.  He sent it before good senseprevailed; he only wanted her to think of him.  She was clever, shewould understand it.  He was leaving Prague the next day, anyway; aspirit slipping back into the underworld.

*

It wasChristmas Eve and he’d never felt so alone in his life.  He’d alwaysbeen able to plaster on a smile and make a friend for long enough tofeel like part of the human race when he needed to, no matter howhigh or low or disconnected he was at the time; that night wasdifferent.  He lay on his cold sleeping mat and stared at thechipping plaster of the walls of his cell; he wasn’t pretending to bea monk, but he was living like one anyway.

Kama-tanha,he thought, fingering the rosary as he pictured Molly in the dressfrom last year.

Whathe wouldn’t give to go back and live that night over.  No making anarse out of himself, no faked deaths or any of it.

Hewould open his damn present in the quietest corner of the flat, onthe sofa, away from everyone else; Molly would point out the tinyspot of decalcification on the rose that had first caught his eye andhe would give in to the impulse to kiss her, finally taste thelipstick she’d put on just for him.

He made everyone else vanish; he resteda hand on her hip, the satin of the dress clinging like a secondskin.

If only he hadn’t been such a coward. If only he’d said yes, I would like coffee with you sometimeinstead of being wary of an attractive, intelligent woman showing aninterest in him.  How different would it have been?  

If he’d become involved with her then,she would be the primary target now.  Or he really would be dead,because he might have had to go that far to save her, even with hisbrother’s help.

The thought made him feel cold down tohis bones, dissipated the first stirrings of arousal curling throughhis gut.

He pressed the medal to his lips, themetal still warm from being next to his body, in his hands; she washis patron saint.  When he got back, if he got back, he would tellher.  Show her.  Until then, she would have his daily devotions; HailMolly, full of awkward grace.

[whenislunch]

undefined

This summer I saw my favorite artist perform live on an island off of Manhattan that used to serve as a jail/mental health institution.

When Frank Ocean came out with his screen grabbed text file posted as a “photo” on Tumblr in 2012, I knew the platform was something special - the one niche he could safely post something so revealing and vulnerable and still not open himself to the direct hate-filled or homophobic comments of any other forum. I had signed up for Tumblr the year prior. I joined with the fantasy of becoming a famous food blogger (and later as a nail artist) so I could quit my publicity job and score all of the PR perks that I so readily dished out to any 'mommy' with a touch of digital pretense.

Personal space on the vast internet was never my craving. I resisted being too present, and enjoyed the ability to control how much I “put myself out there” on facebook, twitter, and later Instagram. With my original two tumblrs, like Frank, I could focus on sharing and following the things I cared the most about: in early cases, it was fan art of Bill Murray, gifs of Daft Punk, and mostly photos of food I had eaten from the everyday life of a new New Yorker discovering the cult nature of the restaurant scene (a similar practice to my behavior as a teen taking shitty photos at punk shows in St Pete, Florida to pin on my bedroom wall). Tumblr became my collection of “curated cool," and nobody cared how hard I was trying or what I put up there, except for me, and it became my favorite place on the internet. Eventually, I realized all of the writers I was admiring on The Awl were including their Tumblrs in their bios, and I was there to follow them. I saw Rebecca Black become a meme before her one-hit would become a wedding band wonder. If sitting at the open kitchen counter at an edison bulb-lit restaurant was the closest you could get to a food industry version of “backstage”, then a Tumblr dashboard filled with all of the blogging generation of the “fake news media” was the analogy. It’s human nature to want to be seen and understood. Selfies perform better than friendies on Instagram - and GPOY’s on Tumblr… well I challenge anybody on music.ly to define the acronym without that peeking at the Childish Gambino Genius page first.

And that’s the tip of the iceberg for where I stand with Tumblr now. After three years of hanging out in the same field, they invited me to meet them at the dugout. After four months of interviewing and pitching challenges and pretending like I was at a digital optimization workshop, I was offered a job. After five years, or nearly, I’m ready for another one. I had the BEST time and the BEST TEAM working at Tumblr. Sentiment is incalculable, and being the Comms professionals that we are, we can swear to the moon that the effect of press results on a brand is unquantifiable when one piece can qualitatively alter the nature of the public’s perception versus the reality of a goal. And I had the the immeasurable luxury to be surrounded by the smartest, most creative, intensely productive, and to borrow a food world phrase - hardiest colleagues in the history of the internet.

My first day at Tumblr also belonged to six others - together we endured a questionable onboarding interaction and then were sent with laptops and branded hoodies to our respective seats at our superdesks on various floors. There were dogs everywhere. I was told that I’d be introduced to the company on Friday and to submit two truths and a lie to help them get to know me. Here they are:

I have photo credits in the New York Times and New York Magazine

I appeared as a backup dancer in a rap video in high school

I watercolor paintings of crustaceans as a hobby

Leave your guess in the comments (oh wait, it’s Tumblr, you can’t). 

Friday lunches were my lifeblood for a couple of months. Every week for at least seven thereafter unloaded a new set of amazing humans to be introduced in some absurd way by Sean from recruiting. I remember @sexpigeon vs Homer’s owner in game of pictionary, Johnny and Jake quickly competing for my heart as #1 engineer dudes, and of course, the instant classic game of Mark Coatney/ Marc Cote/ Marked Coat. Tumblr ramped up fast thanks to Lee, a fundraising series and at the tireless behest of my personal champion, Lindsey Dole.

Meanwhile, more magic was brewing in the cauldron. I heard @amandalynferri talking about some game she invented called Pretty Little Lasagna box, or I heard Maddie recalling the time she had her palm read in 14th street psychic's booth seeking refuge from a snowstorm, or @lexkap who sat on the other side of the building with a dog on her lap DM’d me on hip chat to show me her own nail art blog. Then a few of us won a chance to see a sneak preview of a new arthouse film by Harmony Korine and featuring an ensemble cast of former Disney talent that had been filmed in my hometown with a y2k airbrushed aesthetic - there was something innately emotional tied to each of us with this first viewing of Spring Breakers. When we left the midtown theater alongside the ATL Twins, I realized that this company had curated a community to match the intended behavior of its user base. We all connected on a level beyond any workplace I had experienced before.

And there was the professional side to the job - the work wins came quick because I was so lucky to sit under leaders who wanted the team to succeed. Rick Webb and Katherine encouraged me to dig in, and get deep with these shiny new toys called “evangelists” - Valentine, Nate, Liba, Annie, Max, Rachel, Jen, and briefly DCH. An enviable group of brilliant minds and creative energy who have all gone on to accomplish even more for their respective industries than a marketing budget at a start up could have enabled - and I had the pleasure to help share their Tumblr stories with the world - from a puppy bowl to annual southby's to groundbreaking art auctions to thirteen fucking fashion weeks to 35+ art and music shows (brrr)?

And then Tumblr got acquired and the Jenna Wortham turned the New York Times blue, and I got to do something I’m sure will never happen again in my entire career: I threw a party where the goody bag included a free tattoo, and multiple brave souls got them (Tyler, @bryanasortino, Megan & Johnny, among others).

And then Karen (aka #takingitallin aka @beautifulliving) joined, and me and Katherine gained a new teammate at the same time that I gained a new soul sister (and because of her self-described passion for advertising I never had to write an announcement about a new ad product ever again.) I’ve never been more challenged to succeed as I have over the three years I sat next to Karen - a generous and driven woman with endless dreams of supporting others (literally, ask her about the gap in the undergarment sector), who will always find a spot to squeeze me into a photobooth. Even at her wedding.

And lucky us, because then we invited @lilders into the #teamcomms fold and wow, wow, wow was life good. It was my honor working with Lily as she grew from FIT intern into somebody we should all aspire to work for someday.

Which leads to me to the poker faced improv master of all - Katherine. Allora @alittlespace! I am so lucky she believed that this girl who came into talk about a hypothetical strategy to get Eleven Madison Park on Tumblr and then pitched her a fantasy football launch party hosted by Nick Kroll and Mark Duplass could fit in and have the privilege to join the Tumblr Communications team. KB - I’ve already written you the dopiest thank you letter and shared my orchid growing miracle secrets - but it can’t be said enough - I am so grateful to have worked for you for all of these years. You are the best boss, and we will always be the #bestteam.

Because of Tumblr (and @david), I had the pleasure of working with so many additional incomparable people on projects outside of my designated Marketing Comms position, wearing more hats than we even produced for branded activation swag:

Designing and contenting for months with the relaunch of the precious Staff blog with David, Peter, Damien, Tag, Toph, among others

Setting the inaugural year in review with Danielle, Amanda, Christine loose (and then doing it again and again and again, with the wonderful team at DKC - especially that time we added a serving Kale to America’s breakfast.

Marathoning dozens of events with amazing producers like Julia, Suzanne and Magic - and encountering the native talent that thrives on Tumblr like Humans of New York, Chloe Wise, Sam Cannon, Johnny McLaughlin, Jillian Mercado, to a point where I can honestly say “I knew them when.”

Participating in the first ever Sales Offsite aka the greatest bar mitzvah ever thrown by Lee Brown, Dan Walsh and Sarah Won and the rest of the coolest sales team ever assembled (here’s to you @katemaxx, @jeffdtaylor, Meredith, Ari, Kira, and so many more)

Reaching back into my fashion bag of tricks and launching three different clothing lines.

Creating partnerships to show off super surprises at nerd parties at Comic Con and another breaking the internet for Art Basel

Interviewing the CEO of Shake Shack for the one-time-only live episode of “5 with a side of fries" in front of the whole company.

Urgently dealing with Legal, Ads, Trust and Safety on one of the definitive news story of a generation after nine months of back channeling and reporting.

DOING IT FOR THE CULTURE: Racing with the content and analytics teams for stats on the contentious day of #thedress, and then bling rings, witches, boneghazi, superwholockians, wholesome memes, studyblr, emojis, and of course, the toe thing! Thus redefining what it means to “go viral.”

Cleaned a ball pit for the dude from the 1975 to make a splash into them and trolled a legacy music publication

And wow - it took me this long to mention Post It Forward…I am so proud of everyone who helped make Tumblr the most empathetic community on the internet: Nicole Blumenfeld, Jeff D’Onofrio, @skiphursh “Dolphin", @dougrichard, Andy Sebela, Jess Frank, Sarah Won @swon, @pauwow, the brilliant and diligent Michelle Johnson. From building the blog, commissioning the art, recruiting and onboarding the partners, writing the endless number of give/gets, planning the sponsored posts and social content, running the day to day on the blog (and bequeathing that role to Lily), then doing it again with the Mental Health Quilt and IRL with the Post It Forward Summit - I’ve found my new track as a special projects person who can take on any issue, even suicidal teens. If this is my legacy, I’ve planted seeds in the garden I might never see. And special thanks to Victoria, who allowed me to speak at Obama’s White House about why kids need a place on the internet that can help heal - so long as they can find each other.

As it turns out, adults need that, too. From tailing Frank Ocean’s Ferrari to the most woke, mentally aware community and on to, thank god, a bonafide company to match - I will forever cherish my time at Tumblr and I’ll forever been asking #whenislunch. But from every tomorrow on, it will be somewhere else. And you can find me on the internet! 

Here’s my LinkedIn, I’m looking.