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glacecakes · 4 years

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Alchemy Lullaby (5/?)

Of all the changes that came with living in the castle, becoming a father was not one he anticipated. When Eugene encounters a small child suffering like he did, he gives them the opportunity to grow up the way he never did… helping them both heal. (AU where Varian is 4 and gets adopted by Eugene)

Chapter 5: Varian has been kidnapped, and his family tries to save him.

SORRY this took a lot longer than I planned because school wiped me tf out. Warnings for child abuse (kinda?) some violence. Shoutout to the scar Varian discord server, AJ, Izaak, and Ten, all of whom helped me figure out some stuff for the AU! And to all of you! The response to this has been. Incredible.

I PROMISE this is the last plot heavy chapter for a lil while. The next few are just gonna be fluffy oneshots with baby mischief. Because after this, we’ll all need that.

Rapunzel gasped for breath as she skidded around the corridor. She’d been perfectly content, finishing up her portrait, when she’d looked up only to find an empty stool. That wasn’t too concerning, since Varian had a habit of wandering off. But she’d checked all his usual haunts by now, from the library’s kids section to the kitchen. Heck, she even checked to see if he’d taken a nap in his room (even though he despised them)! But he was nowhere in sight.

“Varian!” She called. “Varian, if you’re playing Hide and Seek you’re supposed to tell the seeker!”

So focused was she, the princess nearly bumped into two massive men striding down the hall. “Oh!” she gasped. “Dad! Hi, have you seen Varian?”

“Hello to you too, Rapunzel,” His father smiled. “Not since breakfast, I don’t think. Quirin?”

The man shook his head. “I’m sorry your Highness. If I see him I’ll send him your way. Varian is the little boy with the blue hair, yes? Doesn’t he normally shadow that Eugene fellow?”

It was like a light went off in Rapunzel’s mind. “Oh!” She gasped. Of course! Varian was awfully impatient, he’s probably helping Cass and Eugene!

“Ok thanks bye!” She cried, racing back the way she came, leaving the two men alone in the hallway.

“...So, how are you taking to being a grandfather?” Quirin asked.

“Never say that to me again.”

“Understood.”

Rapunzel took off towards the dungeons, and sure enough, she could hear multiple loud voices.

“Sounds like my plan…” Her voice trailed off in horror. She found Varian alright! And there were her two friends… still in prison. “Cass! Eugene! How did this happen?” She bit her lip, eyes wildly searching for an explanation.

For a moment, everyone was still. No one dared to breathe. The air was thick with tension and panic.

Varian wasn’t sure what was going on, but he did know that the mean men holding him descended on him like vultures. When he’d raced down the dungeon steps to come face to face with the escaped criminals, he had been too scared to even speak. They had taken one look at him, and grinned.

“You must be the kid Rider loves so much,” Sideburns had said, and his brother stepped forward. He’d advanced on Varian until the child’s back collided with a wall, and then scooped him up. And now these men were grinning at Eugene with shark-tooth smiles.

Soft hiccups escaped his mouth. He wanted all of this to be over! He wanted the men to let him go, Rapunzel to hug him tight, and Eugene to read to him in bed. He just wanted this all to be a bad dream.

It wasn’t a dream, but it was Eugene’s worst nightmare. He took in Varian so the child would never experience what he did growing up. He took him in so Varian would never have to resort to crime, never have the enemies Eugene did, never live in constant fear, constant flux. And while it was true Varian would never want for anything as a citizen of the castle, he now suffered because of Eugene’s past. The past he never wanted Varian to have to see or experience.

He couldn’t even muster his mask. The anxiety rushed through his veins. That was his kid in danger.

Eugene’s hands slammed onto the cell bars. “Let him go. Now!” He barked. “Come on, guys, your beef is with me! You really gonna take it out on a kid? He has nothing to do with it!”

If anything, Patches gripped the boy tighter. Varian let out a whimper, kicking his feet in an attempt to free himself. But to him, it was like trying to topple a brick wall.

Sideburns laughed. “Oh no, Rider, this has everything to do with him. See, we were going to kill you, but that seems… too kind. This,” He waltzed over and gripped pudgy cheeks. “This seems a much more fitting punishment. All you can do is sit and watch as we make sure you never see your son ever again.” Ice filled Eugene’s veins. They wouldn’t…. Would they?

He couldn’t take those chances. “No!” Eugene screamed, banging his fists against the cell door. “Take me instead! Kill me! Do whatever you want to me, just please, let him go!”

Varian only struggled more at Eugene’s distress. Never see Eugene again…? No! That sounded horrible! He didn’t want to go anywhere with these scary men, he’d rather go back to his momma!

Meanwhile, Cassandra grit her teeth. Until she was free, there was nothing she could do to help. And even then, they had a hostage. One that Cass would prefer to keep unharmed. Where did Rapunzel even put the key? She took it from her dad, did she give it back?

As if her thoughts summoned him, the Captain of the Guard’s voice rang out. “The Stabbingtons have escaped!” He called, and a smattering of footsteps followed. Guards poured into the dimly lit hallway, only to falter at the scene. It must’ve been a real sight, the prisoners out of their cells and the citizens locked in.

Patches grabbed a halberd laying against the wall and held it up to the small child’s neck. “Nobody moves,” Sideburns warned. The guards, who held their crossbows ready to fire, all faltered.

“Eugene!” Varian sobbed. “Eugene, please help!” The man let out a cry of despair, rattling the bars in a frantic attempt to get to the toddler.

The Captain seemed to finally notice them in there. “Cassandra?”

“Dad!” She cried.

“Quiet!” Sideburns roared. The halberd inched closer to Varian’s neck. It nicked him ever so slightly, and the child weeped. Tears dropped onto the silver of the weapon.

“If you know what’s good for the kid, I suggest you put your weapons down.” The large man said. Slowly but surely the guards lowered their weapons one by one. What were they supposed to do? Shoot a child? An actual child who had been adopted by the princess’s boyfriend?

Soft footsteps were the only sound. The Stabbingtons slowly backed up, inching away with Varian still in their grasp. They turned the corner, and just like that, Eugene had lost his child after only a few short weeks.

The captain rushed to move once the brothers were out of sight. He dug the keys out and with a clink, unlocked the cell keeping Eugene and Cassandra.

Like a shot from a canon, Eugene broke into a sprint, bolting after the men who stole his Varian. He used to wonder how the King and Queen felt, how awful the pain must’ve been when they lost Rapunzel. He now regrets ever wondering. It was an awful, all encompassing sadness that threatened to swallow him whole and leave him empty. He had been completely powerless to stop the Stabbingtons from kidnapping Varian in the first place. He’d fought with Cassandra, he’d sent Varian down to High Security to go retrieve a jack– Varian could’ve easily gone and got the guard, or hell, Rapunzel! He could’ve told Rapunzel that he saw they completed the game, please let them out! Instead, he hadn’t considered the dangers down below. And now his boy was suffering because of it.

Oh who was he kidding. He kept trying to say Varian was just his ward, his kid, dancing around the s word. But with the threat of never seeing him again, Eugene was no longer willing to deny it.

Varian was his son.

And Varian was in danger.

His eyes stung with unshed tears, lungs burning and legs pounding on the pavement.

He heard the telltale sounds of someone catching up beside him. He glanced over, expecting it to be Rapunzel, but instead found it to be Cassandra. They skidded around another corner just in time to see the Stabbingtons enter a small tunnel.

The whole time Varian cried and struggled. Patches had thrown Varian over his shoulder, and while the child kicked and hit, it was to no effect. He sobbed his little heart out as he was forced down into the tunnels. Eventually, the Stabbingtons had had enough.

Sideburns grabbed his face. “Shut up or I’ll gag you.”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“If you’re quiet you won’t have to find out.”

The little boy screwed his eyes shut, desperately trying to quell his sobs. Deep breaths, in and out, just like Rapunzel showed him when he scraped his knee.

“Varian!”

Varian’s head snapped up. Hope glistened in his young eyes. It was Eugene and Cassie! They raced towards him, trying to catch up to the Stabbingtons.

Patches scowled. He threw Varian to the ground, and the child hit the floor with a cry of pain. Dust billowed up around him, coating his pants. A sharp rock caught onto his arm, and Varian had to swallow down a fresh onslaught of tears. He didn’t want to get into more trouble.

The ginger-haired man brought his full weight onto the wooden support pillar once, twice, three times, and it splintered. The tunnel shook, severely weakened without its support. Eugene and Cassandra sprinted the remaining feet, barely managing to dive towards the kidnappers and avoid the oncoming rockslide. Debris clouded the musky hallway, and when the dust settled, it was just them.

No guards and no Rapunzel. They were on their own.

...Unarmed.

Undeterred, Cassandra lowered into a fighting position, fists raised and ready to punch. She leaped forward, landing a solid punch onto Patches. He fell back and hissed in pain. The halberd clattered to the floor, and Varian scrambled on top of it. It was far too large for him to use, but he managed to get it upright.

Rising to his full height, Patches threw a punch at Cassandra. The woman was short enough to duck, sliding around his hulking form to avoid hit after hit. But she couldn’t take him down, not on her own.

A quick glance over her shoulder saw Eugene had begun to fight with Sideburns. The ex thief snarled at his old ally, all charm and false pretenses gone. But for all of his determination, Sideburns managed to land a few hits, and it quickly became apparent that neither of them could defeat these large men at hand to hand.

“Varian!” Cassandra called. “The halberd, give it to me!”

The child whimpered. “I-I’m not supposed to listen to you!” If he misbehaved, bad things happened! Momma always told him the destruction that followed them was his fault. If only he behaved!

Eugene grunted as he dodged a mean left hook. “Varian, I shouldn’t have told you that! I was just trying to upset Cassandra!” He kicked at Sideburns’s legs, but the man was a brick shithouse. “You don’t have to do everything I say, because half the time I don’t know if I’m making the right call!”

Another dodge. “Half?” Cassandra grunted.

Eugene rolled his eyes. “Ok, most of the time. Give her the halberd!”

That was all it took. Varian dropped the halberd right into Cassandra’s path, and she grabbed it. The weapon twirled once, twice, and then the flat side whacked Patches, sending him sprawling.

“Now that’s how you use a halberd,” Eugene called, and the handmaiden smirked.

“Nice job, kid.” She said. Varian gave her a shaky smile. Now, to help Eugene…

Said man let out a cry of pain. Sideburns landed a hard hit on his face, and he was sent sprawling.

“Oi, watch the merchandise,” He moaned.

“You know, we were going to let you live, just without your kid,” The towering criminal growled, fire in his eyes. “But I think I’ve changed my mind.”

Varian stood in horror, watching as Cassandra tried to cross the battlefield to help, but she couldn’t stop the kick Eugene got to his face. He hit the wall with a crack.

The little child shook in terror. He’d been kidnapped, held at knifepoint, threatened, and now Eugene, his Eugene, was about to die. The terror had been steadily building, he’d only just managed to stop crying, but to think of a life without Eugene?

Would he go back on the streets? Back to his momma? Would Rapunzel and Cassie blame him? If only he’d been smarter, if only he hadn’t gotten kidnapped, Eugene would still be there!

A stream of blood dripped down Eugene’s nose.

The terror went into overdrive.

Varian screamed.

The earth began to rumble, pebbles jumping up and down from the floor. A deep groan came from the earth, and the tunnel around them began to crack. The small child’s hair began to float, unaffected by gravity, and his hairstripe glowed brighter and brighter, until it shone like a star in the sky.

From behind Varian, large obsidian rocks sprouted. They sped towards Sideburns, growing bigger and thicker, snaking towards the man. He only had enough time to look up in shock before the rocks sent him flying. He hit the rocks from the earlier cave-in and crumpled beside his brother with a groan.

The earth stopped rumbling. The tunnel settled. Varian’s hair fell back down over his face.

Eugene blinked in shock. One moment he was about to die, the next, large black rocks came in and finished the battle. He’d heard from Cassandra and Rapunzel about the rocks that grew back her hair, these must be the same ones.

But how did they get there…?

“Eugene!”

He barely had any time to think before a blur collided with his chest. Varian gripped onto his vest and wailed, burrowing his face as deep as it could go.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, you were super brave today,” Eugene whispered, wrapping his arms around the trembling child. “It’s over, you’re ok. We just gotta… get out of here…”

Cassandra poked at the rocks. While they had saved the day, they now blocked their only escape.

“Cass? Eugene? Varian?” Rapunzel’s voice floated down. They glanced up, and the princess was peering down from a small hole in the ceiling. Moonlight filtered through and settled on them like a spotlight. “Is everyone ok?” The princess asked as she let down her hair. As soon as they were all up, she wrapped the whole group in a bear hug. “No one’s hurt right? We’re all safe now?” Her eyes shone with unshed tears.

Eugene stepped back, readjusting his grip on Varian. “Yea. We’re safe now.”

The walk back to the castle was quiet. The Captain took on rearresting the Stabbingtons, letting everyone head to their rooms to recoup from today’s insane events.

“I’m so sorry, for everything,” Rapunzel moaned. “I shouldn’t have done that, I should’ve helped you talk it out, and then I let Varian out of my sight, and-”

Eugene wrapped one arm around his girlfriend. The other supported a dozing Varian. “Hey, hey, Blondie, it’s ok.”

“Yea, we all made mistakes today,” Cassandra piped up. “...But Eugene started it.”

“I did not!”

“Did too!”

Rapunzel groaned, but smiles on all their faces gave away that none of it was serious. The rest of the trek back to the castle was devoted to filling Rapunzel in.

“The black rocks…?” She asked. “The ones that gave me back my hair?”

Cassandra nodded. She gazed off into the distance, deep in thought. “I wonder if they responded to your distress? Or maybe it was just a coincidence?”

“Eh, who cares. They did a good job! Go team.” Eugene shrugged. “I say we worry about it another time. Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I am exhausted, so I’m gonna put this little guy to sleep and then turn in,” Eugene began, but stopped when Varian began to whimper.

The toddler clutched onto Eugene like a lifeline, shaking his head violently. “Please, no, don’t leave me,” He whispered. “I don’ wanna be alone, please don’t leave me.”

The last time he got that upset… the last time the black rocks appeared…

That had been the last straw for momma. She’d left him not a week later.

Eugene glanced nervously and Rapunzel and Cassandra. As much as he wanted to help Varian, he was way out of his depth. Dealing with a trauma like this…

Cassandra thought for a second before speaking. “Hey, I have an idea. Rapunzel’s bed is pretty big, why don’t we all have a big sleepover? Would you like that?” She ran gentle fingers through Varian’s hair. The child melted into her touch.

“Yea, ok.”

The man breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks,” he murmured, and Cassandra gave him a smile back. She moved to brush some dirt off Varian’s shirt, and in the process, moved his shirt sleeve.

“Nooooo,” Varian moaned sleepily. He kicked his legs. “My shirt stays!”

The handmaiden rolled her eyes. “I don’t get it. That has to be uncomfortable. Why do you insist on rolling your sleeves up?”

Varian yawned, curling up in Eugene’s arms. He spoke like the answer was obvious. “‘Cuz that’s how Eugene wears ‘em. I wanna be like him.” With that, he finally fell asleep.

The kid sure was something else, it seemed.

But they could handle him if they all worked together.

“They’re here?” Quirin breathed. “In the castle?”

“The tunnels beneath the castle,” Frederick groaned, running his hand down his face. “If Ulla is telling the truth, then its source is somewhere here.”

“We will find it,” Quirin insisted. “And when we find it… we must destroy it.”

#tangled #tangled the series #varian #tts #tts varian #team awesome #tangled eugene #eugene fitzherbert #tts eugene

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liveshaunted-moved · 3 years

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headcanon dump; varian

In canon verses, Varian never takes any training, therefore all the things he learns is through doing, and reading himself. In Modern verses, when Varian is tasked with Homework, it is generally done when he gets home. He does it first, so he can spend more time on doing the things he loves and researching things he likes over things he has too do.

Doing his homework is a tiring task asked of him, he actually hates it which is also why he would do it first, to get the things he doesn’t like out of the way to leave room for the things he does enjoy.

you know that mocking thing people do when someone they don’t like is talking, when their back is turned? yeah, varian does that when king fredrick talks, quirin has caught this and chide him, but varian has caught him giving the biggest eye rolls ever when the king isn’t looking

Sleep? Him and sleep didn’t get on for a good four to seven years from the moment he saw his father encased in the amber. There were constant nightmares, and he would force himself to stay awake. Other times, he just wouldn’t sleep because he was too focused on his works and couldn’t stop, because he had to finish it. He has been forced to go to sleep by those around him.

despite varian feeling hurt, or like there was some wrong sense of justice when concerning cass’ punishment compared to his, he doesn’t HATE cass or rapunzel. he can’t bring himself to hate them, because at different times they both have helped him. he just needs to work through his feelings, and talk about how the events make him feel instead of bottling it up like last time

varian, concerning his feelings about the whole cass seemingly getting away with her crimes deal, as well as specifically with cass the whole kidnapping ( and others ) thing. he will talk about those feelings first with any of these ; quirin, lance or eugene, before talking about it with rapunzel and cass, just so he doesn’t make them feel bad for his feelings bc yes he still loves and cares for them, they’re like his family even if they’ve had rough patches, he doesn’t want them to feel bad for what he is feeling, even if what he’s feeling is valid.

varian is a quick learner, when it comes to skills. and he can actually pick things up quickly, especially if he enjoys the task / activity

varian masters his potion to enlarge ruddiger to make it more safe for ruddiger

varian also learns about the things fredrick does and redirects his blame ( bc that doesn’t just go away, even if he felt guilty for what he did - he still has the right to feel HURT by rapunzels actions in the show ). but, upon learning that the king is the reason for the rocks in the first place, how the king made his father feel like he won’t listen to reason so therefore making his father lie to try and fix what he could - varian realises the problem is with the king and the system the king has put in place. and because of this, he won’t listen to orders from the king at all even as the ‘royal engineer’, NOR will he listen to nigel.

quirin’s wife, and varian’s mother actually left them when varian turned five / when the blue streak in his hair developed. quirin was open about what had happened in the dark kingdom, and that he feared the streak was something like the lost princess’ hair, his wife couldn’t take it - so left them, under the rouse of ‘going to get some food’ from the town.

varian can lie quite well, he just can’t if he’s put right on the spot or even feels slightly confronted with one of his lies. he does manage to trick rapunzel, all while lying because he doesn’t beleive that raps ‘did what she had too’ at that point in time ( later will truly believe it )

i feel like, it wasn’t just the ‘three interactions’ before varian turned, it was small interactions that garnered a friendship. it was small, ‘hi’s and hello’s’ and a few bigger talks, especially after raps & cass find out about varian knowing about the rocks. it wasn’t a huge friendship in the eye of let’s say the fandom or even maybe cass or raps eyes, but varian it was different, he saw their friendship as a lot because they were the only ones to be his friends ( which aids in varian’s hero worship crush on cass ).

his friendship with eugene and lance doesn’t grow or strengthen until the third season, bc eugene is shown to be sceptical of varian in the first season which is valid because varian’s inventions have been not so safe.

i’ll expand a little on why i said eugene would be someone varian going to about his feelings regarding rapunzel and cass, despite him being close with the two. from this post here

and it is to do with his trust. eugene didn’t have to speak to varian alone about his worries about quirin potentially being a cass minion ( that’s what i’m calling it now ), eugene could have called it out in front of everyone, could have said something while everyone was around, but instead he waited for when he and varian were alone and that made varian feel like, even though he was kind of mad at eugene for it ( bc who wouldn’t ) but he takes it into consideration, because it made him feel like on some level eugene cared about his feelings enough to do it one on one.

and i feel like, over the course of season 3, they developed a friendship which he doesn’t have much of, and he holds it in high regards.

reminder that varian does hold a bitterness towards rapunzel and cass after the events that transpired in the last ep but unlike in season one, he’s grown and is learning to speak about how he feels about it. so he could be a little guarded around these two, and even the king and queen themselves.

he might confinde in his father, eugene, lance, angry or cat first about these feelings because he knows what bottling it up and trying to sort it out himself is like… it doesn’t work out well for him

varian isn’t afraid of heights, not even after cass encased him in a cage at well over 70ft in the air, and then falling from that height. heights do not scare him. but thin ledges? yeah, fuck those, he won’t do that.

varian has a scar on the back of his head from when he injured it in what the hair

while varian is does everything he can to prove his worth again, to prove he is trust worthy once again to rapunzel, it’s not just that way. much like she doesn’t automatically forgive him, he doesn’t automatically forgive her. it’s a two way street, their whole relationship after the opening of season 3 is the both of them rebuilding their trust and faith in each other

varian hold just a bit of bitterness towards cass / raps? yes, but he has controlled it and doesn’t let it fester. he’s learnt to control it because what it happened last time, he doesn’t want to let himself get that far.

this steams from rapunzel’s actions towards cass vs her actions towards him. he see’s that, from his point of view as different. that cass was forgiven much easier then he was, she didn’t have to do anything to gain the trust back of rapuzel, whereas he felt that he had too ( because in his eyes, when he ‘switched sides back to her’ that was when she forgave him because he had no signs of her doing so before hand ).

also does he feel guilty for feeling like this? you bet

while wearing gloves is a way to mimic his father, and to ‘be more like’ his father, it’s also a sensory sensitivity for varian. he has multiple pairs of gloves because a lot of the time they can burn up or get badly damaged. all his gloves are leather, any other material itches or just doesn’t feel right on his hands and at times, if wearing other material can get him frustrated with them, and then substantially at his work.

while varian does get back on everyone’s good side again, he still hates the king, because he heard the promise of trying to free his ( varian’s ) father, but when he broke out - he automatically went back to his own home, only to find it dusted over - like no one has been there in months - meaning no one has tried to free his father.

varian copies those he looks up too. a few examples are; constantly wearing gloves, his father does that ( we the viewer know it’s to cover his brotherhood mark ), and then, varian does too, to be more like his dad.

he has copied nicknames for people from eugene. example, eugene has called xavier ‘xaves’ and then later on, varian is seen saying that too

varian constantly wears gloves to be like his father, he noticed at a young age, that his father constantly wore gloves - and, so he too then wore gloves all the time.

varian’s ‘crush’ on cass, was more hero worship type crush, then a true crush.

varian get’s one last growth spurt before he turns eighteen, it wasn’t magic or alchemy, though he totally got accused of it, but it seemingly happened over night ( it happened over a period of time where he secluded himself as he worked on something ). he ends up between the height of rapunzel and eugene

Varian eventually learns that magic and science go hand in hand, that magic is itself a form of science itself, and that science is a form of magic. That it’s just a matter if perspective

#i will prove that the way i used to be is all in the past ( varian canons )#long post tw #we're standing on the edge of queue

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phantomtied · 5 years

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ith𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓 ,

Repost, don’t reblog.

BASICS.

full name. radames zero the jackal nickname. zero,zerry,rada (only to people who know his name/close to him) gender. male height. 3′7″ age. 25-26 spoken languages. Arabic & english

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair color. White eye color. blue and yellow skin tone fur. black and white accent. american english,but sometimes his accent slips in dominant hand. ambidextrous, favors the left hand a bit more due to vision posture. zero has decent posture most times,sometimes he does slump over in his chair or standing mostly when hes tired. scars. he has quite a few,the ones most noticeable would be the scar across his right eye and the ones on his chest usually covered by bandages most noticeable feature(s). eyes/eyebags and his big & fluffy tail

CHILDHOOD.

siblings. N/A parents. Faris (father), Leila (mother) parental involvement. raised by his parents,spent time training and helping his dad with work as he got older,affection was shown when he did things the right way to them or when he listened.

ADULT LIFE.

occupation. Mercenary -> eggman empire -> n/a currently current residence. Coles home in the forest area of sunset heights relationship status. (verse dependent) single or taken mode of transportation:walking mostly? criminal record. HAH theres offing people off as a merc,and assisting eggman in a war and harming thousands upon taking most the world.

MISCELLANEOUS.

hobbies to pass time. treasure hunting,reading,playing videogames,stealing stuff mental illnesses. depression , ptsd,anxiety,paranoia fears. being abandoned , feeling useless , public spaces,lightning,loosing the ones he cares about self-confidence level. its pretty low,zero doesnt always have that much confident in himself he tries his best to hide it but it does end up showing. vulnerabilities. represses emotions, lashes out because of said repressing , struggles with accepting / giving physical affection , big abandonment/trust issues , afraid of interacting with others

tagged by: no one stole this!

tagging: @pistolbitten @ironicfatc @heroquills @knightofthelake @unfadinglight @mercalimari @prrrower @wereclaw + anyone else who wants to give this a go!

#[meme stuff]#[headcanon]#this was fun hh

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alchemt · 5 years

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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓 .

repost , don’t reblog , please !

BASICS.

full name. varian of old corona ! nickname. v , goggles , hairstripe , vari . gender. cis male ( he / his ) height. 5′0″ age. 17 in canon verse , varies within others ! zodiac. aries sun , libra moon , pisces rising . spoken languages. drums my hands on the table , you got a dead language and something translatable and this kid learns it within a few weeks , easy , so we’re sorting demantius’ dialect in here , but i’d say both the dialects of the inner + outer parts of the kingdom ! ( i’ll talk a lil more specifically ab this in accent ! ) maybe a smattering of words n phrases of languages found in the other kingdoms , due to his work that has all kinds of people coming to him for alchemic assistance , as well as being an outskirt village !

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair color. black w/ brown highlights and a teal stripe ! eye color. blue ! skin tone. very light and very very fair , burns within a few hours of being outside in the summer sun , but before that , freckles ! ! ! accent. the tts - english version of what was most likely a version of an early nineteenth century germanic dialect by the coast ! i would also reach to say that it’s probably audibly different from what is usually spoken within corona’s main city / citadel , due to the distance between main and old corona , there’s probably a different dialect for those living on the far reaches of the kingdom outskirts ! voice. usually very pronounced , very loud , and very fast , depending on whether he’s talking ab his work or not . either way , it’s prone to cracking . his brain tends to work faster than his mouth , so there’s a lot of repetition and backtracking as well ! dominant hand. ambidextrous ! he’s confident enough w/ pouring chemicals with both hands , and his staff switches between right and left constantly . it doesn’t look like he prioritizes towards one over another , usually using the one that feels right in the moment . posture. absolutely horrendous ! literally you will always find him slouching over notes and various versions of work , falling asleep in bad positions over his workstations , and w/ working his way around machinery –– hanging over and around gently dangerous and in - progress kinds of equipment and chemical machinery does not always equal the best of results for one’s muscles and posture –– but ! ruddiger is actually a really wonderful addition to the family here w/ this , a welcome weight on his shoulders , which also serves to remind him to straighten up ( in more ways than one 🥺 ) ! scars. lots of chemical burn scarring ! alchemy is an incredibly dangerous practice , and vari is not one to stick to a safety protocol on his own volition , like a whole entire fool , so there’s lots of burnt clothes and burn scars –– the gloves were most likely a gift from his father , as soon as there had been a few accidents leading to some permanent markings on his hands , the same w/ the apron . i do like to think he makes his own goggles , though , i.e. why he has so many of them to go around ! tattoos. n/a in most verses , but i love the idea of him getting one to tie back to all the work he’s done w/ the demanitus legend / language when he’s older ! birthmarks. hmmm . i may come back to this at a later point , but for now let’s say if there are some , they’ve been marked over by other scars . most noticeable feature(s). teal hair stripe , gigantic goggles , some article of clothing is always slightly singed ( or still on fire , please let him know asap ! ) .

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth. old corona ! birth weight. most likely underweight . birth height. small , tiny , it sticks w/ him , the poor kid ! first words. blue ! siblings. none ! can’t vouch for canon here , but i’m going to go with historical accuracy here and say his mother died due to sickness when vari was still a baby . parents. quirin ( father ) , a woman who wasn’t given a name bc tts is Like That™ ( mother ) parental involvement. being son to the leader of the village isn’t always . super great ! there’s a lot of interactions between them that lean into the thinking that there’s a . stilted kind of relationship between them ? ( think . that is enough , varian / yes , sir . think . not again , varian . think . you are not ready . ) running a village is a busy enough position to be in , let alone one in the middle of a crisis , and it doesn’t feel like there’s much time left , or prioritized , in either of those times , to develop a relationship w/ vari ? i can’t imagine that the loss of his mother really . helps ? there’s so much hurt there , you can see it when quirin looks at the portrait in qfad , and so they’re very distanced due to just . not knowing how to reach one another ? there’s always something , too big to cross , too far to reach . so much of varian’s story is trying to get his father to see him , to be proud of him , and it reflects so much onto . quirin’s absence ? in vari’s work , in his interests , in him ? and in wanting that , needing that emotional relationship more than anything else ? feels like enough to drive him to uh . . . doing A Lot™ to get it .

ADULT LIFE.

occupation. " wizard “ of old corona → alchemist → co-lady-in-waiting ( The Best Day , you will never be able to pry this title away from him ) → the gentle villain stint → redeemed alchemist → most trusted royal engineer of corona ! current residence. old corona ! depending on verse he also travels , and lives within the citadel to be close to the official castle lab ! close friends. ruddiger , rapunz.el , cassandra , eugene , lance . financial status. as son as the leader of a village , i’d say middle class , esp. since they’re living in an outskirt town , it isn’t much ? a lot of varian’s experiments come from deconstructing old ones to reuse and rebuild from scraps . he def sews their clothes back into working order as well ! driver’s license. not exactly modern , but he can fly a hot air balloon ! that’s pretty vehicular ! no license tho bc he’s . gotta rebel in the ways that he still can ! criminal record. pulls out a scroll that rolls down the whole expanse of the throne room : “ attacking “ princess rapunz.el on the night of the snowstorm , drugging an entire castle staff w/ laced cookies , assisting + instigating in the theft of herz der sonne's journal , assisting + instigating the plan to break into the castle vaults , stealing the sundrop flower ( + later destroying it ) , endangering the crown princess on multiple accounts , multiple accounts of assault + endangerment to the people of both main and outer corona ( birthday automaton , enhanced ruddiger , army of automatons . ) , kidnapping the queen , attempted regicide , breaking out of jail , aligning himself with the saporians , wiping the memories of the king + queen , allegedly planning on continuing the memory wipe to the whole of kingdom corona , endangering the whole of main corona with his chemicals yet again . vices. arrogance , doubt , recklessness . love language. primarily actions ! ! you need something done ? you need someone to do something for you ? he’s your boy ! he also gives gifts , as well , mostly practical ones , usually lil machines or things he’ll think that could be of use or necessity !

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. oh i will make you proud is too much of a bop to be anything but his theme ! we also see it played throughout the seasons in instrumental swells within gentle or Big Plot™ moments , even all the way back in what the hair ! so much of his character + narrative arcs lean on being seen and known and validated ? it’s important to him , but especially for it to come from his dad , or even from those he admires n looks up to ? The whole entire Dream ! hobbies to pass time. experiments , building w/ spare machinery parts , playing around w/ ruddiger , cooking , gardening , sewing , reading , etc . ! mental illnesses. anxiety , depression , ptsd . physical illnesses. he gets sick a lot . exposure to dangerous chemicals can lead to a weakened immune system , so it ends up showing in lots of semi - sick days after all - nighters that he works through until he eventually collapses or gets worse . it does mean that he eventually develops a good repertoire of being able to recognize various symptoms of sicknesses , and with a bit of studying , experience on how to treat people within his village + even beyond ! fears. losing his father , being lied to / kept in the dark , not being enough despite his best efforts , never being fully trusted in the same way again , that he won’t be who he could’ve been , once , bright in the light , unhurt and unhistoried , and that the darkness is still in him , waiting for the day that he snaps again . self-confidence level. can i get a big oof in the chat bc it’s not . really exactly super - great ? or even super - sturdy , for that matter ? ambition is one thing , but failed experiment and failed invention over and over again can be . extremely disheartening , especially when it comes w/ a verbal disappointment speech , as well as side - eyes and general wariness + distrust from everyone in his village . he’s incredibly confident in his knowledge + ability , and can don the “ wizard of old corona “ facade , but he’s . he wants to do something right , so so badly , to prove himself , to prove that he can , even if he’s not exactly the right person to do it , he’s going to try anyways , even if it’s just in case , even if it’s the only recourse left ? and that can be . dangerous , to say the least , as we’ve seen . but but but ! with the help of raps and cass and eugene and lance , and being given the chance(s) to be included in their lil found family , in being able to prove himself among them ( with some bumps along the way , a sad kid with no family left can go a lil feral w/ fury and grief as a treat , as you do , you know how it be sometimes ) , and come into his own ? has been . the absolute best ! everything he’s done for the name of good , for the betterment of the lives of others ! all of the light that it brings into his life , into his work ! love that for him ! ! ! vulnerabilities. overactive , maybe leaning a lil too close to what’s really an obsessive need for answers , how that there are not many lines he’s not willing to cross to do something he deems Right™ or for those that he loves , how he’s easily provoked to accept challenges + problems to solve .

TAGGED BY. @irnmaidn ! 💕 TAGGING. so i did . gently cut a lot out of this , so if you are interested in filling this out , let me know and i will happily direct u back to the whole of it !

#it's past one am so i'm allowed 2 post the ' i spent way too much time n had way too much fun detailing this hc meme ' post !#▎「 i want to remember everything ﹐ which is why i’m lying awake ﹐ not sleepy enough to give it up . / 𝐡𝐜 .#long post tw

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cephalone-a · 5 years

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NAME : --- NICKNAME : Nova FACECLAIM : bold of you to assume i have a face PRONOUNS : She/her HEIGHT : 5′5″ BIRTHDAY : February 21 AESTHETIC : Lime green and light blue, bright neon, geometric patterns, nebulas and pretty rocks, sparkly things, chiptune LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO : Painting Roses - Dresses FAVORITE MUSE (S) YOU’VE WRITTEN : I love all the muses I’ve brought in here over the years but Varian still has my heart even if I neglect him sometimes and I’m not doing this on him for some reason

* GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT :

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON THIS MUSE :

For one I love robots and I love characters with his sort of personality, this dorky, intelligent, kinda clueless but earnest type, with maybe a bit of sarcasm thrown in. I pretty much latched onto him immediately and it only got worse when I found out about his actual backstory. Really, he’s a character with more potential than actual characterization and those are the kinds of characters I love to get my grubby little mitts all over. We don’t really get much of an idea of how he feels about a lot of things, and I wanted to figure that out.

Also the fanbase mostly hates him and I’ve embarked on a personal crusade to protect him at all costs.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE :

Really, there’s a lot of potential in him that I don’t think really gets explored. There’s such a massive rift between who he is--who he presents himself as, who he clearly wants to be happy with--and who he used to be. I like thinking about how those sides play into each other. As an AI, he’s forced to experience the world a little differently from everybody else, and there are constraints on him that even he doesn’t fully understand. He’s repressed a lot, and I want to see him grow out of that, how he can deal with his past and find a middle ground, and what that middle ground would look like. I want to see him make new memories.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING :

Reading other people’s writing, mostly. Either replies to me or fic. I do look back at canon material sometimes, but try not to wear myself out on it. Basically any fan content is inspirational fjkjsdf

FAVORITE TYPES OF THREADS :

I like threads where characters get to talk about themselves, where you can see how each reacts to another’s world and story. I like seeing characters thrust into situations they wouldn’t normally participate in to see what they do. I like meaty threads where characters are forced to confront their own problems and grow as people.

Also angst. Lots of angst.

BIGGEST STRUGGLE IN REGARDS TO YOUR CURRENT MUSE :

I have a lot of problems with plotting, anxiety, inspiration, communicating with others, etc, but that’s every muse.

With Ordis specifically, his glitchy speech pattern is really hard to convey in text. Like, people have probably noticed I use the zalgo text and the same descriptions a lot, but it’s actually kind of difficult to try and get across what it is he’s doing to someone who doesn’t know the game, because it’s one of those things that works a lot better aloud and doesn’t quite translate to writing. It doesn’t help that the glitching isn’t always consistent, either with how it sounds, what causes it to happen, or how he responds to it. Also to a lesser extent his talking in third person, because he doesn’t do it all the time and there’s no real pattern to it. (Really I’ll be the first to admit the game’s writing is really inconsistent a lot of the time and it’s frustrating)

Tagged by: uhhhhhh

Tagging: distant sirens

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wcrthpride · 6 years

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🔥

( vi’s ‘unpopular’ opinions. ) / anon. / ( accept !! )

||. i’m not entirely sure if my standpoint is an unpopular opinion , per say , but a lot of people seem to be of the mindset that quirin is … not a good dad. now , you could argue that i may be biased , what with my not only roleplaying varian but also roleplaying quirin on the side , but when it comes down to it , people are taking one instance out of the show and vilifying quirin to be this stoic , uncaring dad who is strict , and mean , doesn’t approve of his son’s passions for alchemy or skill with inventions and the like. who maybe doesn’t even tell his son that he does care about him , and i don’t ??? understand ???

quirin is … reserved. clearly he doesn’t find it easy to talk about his secrets , and likely not even his emotions , given his normal canon demeanor and status as leader and father. but you have to keep in mind that this is a man who has the weight of an ENTIRE VILLAGE on his shoulders , and clearly a world of secrets that he has not been able to talk about for nineteen years at LEAST. he is certainly not about to open up to his fourteen year old child about his worries over old corona. it only makes SENSE that he would shoulder the burden unto himself. ( ‘old corona will endure. you must trust that I can handle this.’ ) it’s what he is used to doing , and with his knowledge about to rear its head and his village on the brink of destruction if he doesn’t out himself and DO something ? of course he wants his son to have nothing to do with it.

what i’ve seen people boil quirin down to is the above scene where he and varian get into a small argument over “lying” to the king and how they can’t just abandon old corona in order to fix things. and… i can understand where people go wrong with this scene. we , the audience , all relate to varian. we don’t understand where quirin is coming from , nor do we understand his mindset. ( though unlike alchemy son we are later at least clued into the fact that quirin HAD some kind of plan. ) so when it dissolves into THIS:

it looks pretty awful. and i’m sure we can all relate to moments in our lives where we’ve gotten on the bad side of our parents , and perhaps have even gotten yelled at by our parents for misunderstandings. it’s not a great feeling and so we’re able to relate even MORE to varian in this exchange. it’s unfair , it’s a little mean , and what with quirin’s resting grumpy face &. his hulking height it’s really no wonder that varian as well as the audience is left… n o t in the best mindset of his father.

but there are two key words here: LOOKS &. YELLED. because , yes , it certainly DOES look like an awful , AWFUL fight with an outburst by a seething parent if you only look at stills , or gifs. but when you go back to the episode and replay this scene , no matter how many times over , you can’t deny that quirin never raises his voice with varian. it becomes stern , but he never raises his voice to his son. in fact the ONLY time we’ve ever seen him argue with varian loudly is when he finds out varian is going against his wishes - AGAIN - and experimenting on the rocks. even THEN quirin’s voice is notably clipped and kept under a certain amount of control. raising his voice a bit and yelling are two COMPLETELY different things and quirin has never done the latter.

even then ??? people are so focused on varian that they don’t quite notice small things like the shot above. that does NOT look like the face of a man who is proud of or remotely happy with the argument he just had with his son. heck , later in the episode it seems he even went to varian’s lab to apologize to varian. we , as a collective audience , can’t keep ignoring that.

NOT TO MENTION THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM:

quirin sacrificed his LIFE for varian’s. for all he knows , pushing varian out of the way and refusing to let varian try to pull him out could have well killed him. heck , we still have no idea if he’s going to come out of the amber alive and whole and well. ( though i’m sure eventually he will. ) he has already paid The Ultimate Sacrifice for varian’s sake and i don’t think people give quirin enough credit for this one small , but ultimately HUGE action.

and to the people who blame quirin for varian’s actions after the fact ? i’m sorry but you’ve clearly missed an entire other FOUR episodes that showcase that varian is a GOOD KID. he was an honest kid , a wholesome kid. he was a little boy with big dreams and a smart mind and all he ever wanted was to use it for the benefit of others. i mean for pete’s sake ( sorry pete ) , varian spent hours slaving over cassandra’s chores just so he could have five minutes of her time , and when it turns out that she chose something else over him , after ALL OF THAT and all of the embarrassment and hurt he felt after ?? varian forgave her within an instant , and he was never angry with her either. disappointed , absolutely , but never angry. these are not the hallmarks of a father who was uncaring and stoic towards his son for fourteen years. these are the results of a single father who tried his damned hardest to raise a good kid and succeeded. it is NOT on quirin that varian decided to break apart and fall off the rails as he did. that’s on VARIAN. quirin is not even remotely the bad guy. he’s hands down the best father in the entire series.

so , yeah. give quirin some more love and a “Best Dad in Corona” award because he deserves it.

#☄ ———— you’d be surprised what people will tell you for a cookie. / anon.#☄ ———— i see words as works of art ; a new life in every chapter. / ooc post.#☄ ———— the common word may even be the best one. / ooc answers.#☄ ———— the alchemist logs. / answered.#this got l o n g

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preserving-ferretbrain · 5 years

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Fail of the Lich King

by Wardog

Tuesday, 14 July 2009Wardog critical hits Arthas: Rise of the Lich King, the World of Warcraft tie in novel, for 4000 points of damage.Uh-oh! This is in the Axis of Awful...~

Here’s a confession, Ferretbrain readers: I’ve never read a tie-in novel. Truthfully, I have enough trouble getting invested in the world in original fiction, so there’s a pretty low likelihood of me wanting to read about a universe specifically designed to have movies or games or a tv show happening in it.

I do, however, play World of Warcraft.

And I am, secretly, a bit of a Warcraft loregeek – having played Orcs Versus Humans, and Warcraft II and Warcraft IIIback in the day, despite being abysmal at RTS games. Azeroth is basically Generic Fantasy Setting#3 but having been splashing about it in since the age of eleven, what can I say, I have a fondness. For anyone who doesn’t give a toss (i.e. the rest of you) lore has kicked off in a big way recently in WoW, with the release of the expansion Wrath of the Lich King. This is a big deal.

Arthas, Rise of the Lich King, a WoW tie-in novel by Christie Golden, is the history of that big deal.

The short version: There’s this Lich King, right? He’s wrathful. He needs to taken out by a bunch of PCs.

The longer version: I’m not going to go into the history of Azeroth, which has a long and detailed history. Arthas, later to become part of the entity known of the Lich King (like, whoops), was the son of King Terenas Menethil, ruler of Lordaeron, and a paladin of the Order of the Silver Hand. An impetuous but basically okay youth, hope of his people yadda yadda yadda, he boned the only girl in the entire Warcraft universe, Jaina Proudmoore, for a bit and then went off to do, err, war things.

It’s all a bit complicated and involves a plague of undeath caused by infected grain, evil wizards, demons and Arthas going off the deep end, culling infected villages and burning the boats of his own army so they have no choice but to fight for him. While making questionable military decisions (this is WCIII, by the way) Arthas also gets obsessed with the

deathly hallows

runeblade Frostmourne, a sword rumoured to give its wielder limitless power. This is, as anyone could guess, a plot. In this case, orchestrated by the Lich King Ner’Zhul.

Arthas nabs Frostmourne from its prison of ice, despite the “DON’T TOUCH THE SWORD IT COMES WITH TERRIBLE PRICE YOU STUPID PILLOCK” signage and heads off to save his people. Except, this apparently involves murdering his own father, because, of course, the sword has completely corrupted him, and the Lich King is whispering to him, and controlling him, through it. Way to go, Arthas.

So, now some gothylooking sub-human Death Knight, Arthas charges around the land, generally wrecking it and raising people from the dead for kicks. But it turns out the Lich King isn’t as powerful as he thought he was and things start to go wrong. Arthas is recalled to Northrend, which is currently attack anyway by some other dudes from the lore (The Burning Legion, don’t ask). Again, it’s insanely complicated but Arthas fights his way to the Frozen Throne, releasing the Lich King and consuming him or something or other in order to become the true Lich King. Mwhaahaha.

And, then, in true Lord Voldemort fashion he’s just … been … like … sitting on there on the Frozen Throne. Raising an army, or whatever. Although everybody knows that “raising an army” is fantasy-speak for “doing fuck all.”

This is the story told in Arthas: Rise of the Lich King.

What neither my summary, nor the book itself, quite encompasses is the fact that there is quite a bit of WoWlore that’s quite cool and interesting. The original Lich King, for example, is actually an ancient Orcish shaman, tricked by demons into betraying his people. His transformation into the Lich King was actually a punishment for defying his demonic masters. Arthas, of course, is Generic Fantasy Concept #5: uppity princeling is stupid and turns evil. But there is something iconic about him, it must be admitted. He’s one of the most popular and enduring figures of the Warcraft universe.

I think part of his resonance comes from the fact you actually got to be him in Warcraft III. That game blew my tiny mind when it first came out. Not only was it sweeping, epic, and sub-Tolkeinesque in the way that Blizzard does supremely well (here’s the scene of him murdering his father –

check it out

!) but the narrative arc is, well, a bit of a mindfuck. You start out playing Arthas in his whiny Prince incarnation and, even though the game is utterly linear, it’s hard not to feel some responsibility for all the messed up stuff he does. Or rather, you do on Arthas’s behalf, because it is a RTS.

Anyway, that’s the background and a little bit of justification as to why I’m reading a tie-in novel, an experience I don’t think I’ll be repeating any time soon. This is not, you understand, a dig against tie-in novels, I’ve had absolutely nothing against them at all and I suspect I found the right sort of universe and the right sort of writers I’d enjoy them. But Arthas: Rise of the Lich King is absolutely terrible.

Dear me, dear me, it really is.

The problem is, I’m not sure what extent its just plain bad and to what extent signs I am interpreting as manifestations of badness are merely the tropes and tools of the tie-in novel form. Obviously tie-in novels are operating on a different set of rules to those governing original fiction. I’m not entirely sure what they are, truthfully, but I suppose it’s about evoking characters and places that are already familiar to the reader. And since the writer is working within an already quite restrictive canon, I suppose I should have expected an element of sketchiness but … but … it still feels incredibly tepid to me. It’s simultaneously bland and over-written, if that makes any sense at all. There’s no depth or conviction to the narrative – I suppose, I’d say it’s supremely utilitarian.

Northrend was the name of the land. Daggercap Bay the site where the Lordaeron fleet made harbor. The water, deep and choppy, with an unforgiving wind, was a cold-blue gray. Sheer-cliffs were dotted with tenacious pine trees soaring upwards, providing a natural defense of the small, flat area where Arthas and his men would make camp. A waterfall tumbled down, crashing in a billow of spray from a great height.

Do you see what I mean? It’s like looking at flat image. The information is presented list-like – there’s very little connection between the introduction of the sea, the cliffs, the camp, the waterfall. No senses other than the visual are engaged, and no effort has been made to do anything with the scene setting other than present it as it is. The waterfall tumbles down from a great height? Oh come on. It’s a waterfall, obviously it moves from a higher place to a lower place. Dan has pointed out that we’ve all been to Daggercap Bay so the description doesn’t have to do more than sketch in enough of the details to remind us and, bam, we have a ready-made vivid picture of it. Now maybe I’m just failing to engage with the differences between tie-in fiction and original-setting fiction but is it wrong of me to want just a little bit more effort than this?

One of the lines that Dan and I never tired of mocking in Star Wars III: The Revenge of the Sith is “from my point of view the Jedi are evil.” This is profoundly mockable from every conceivable angle but my favourite joke is that Lucas simply forgot to finish the line. He was sitting at his writing desk, thinking something like this: “what I want to do here is capture something of the moral ambiguity of this scene, the way morality is so often a matter of perspective. I suppose what Anakin is trying to say, from his point of the view the Jedi are evil.”

Writes down: “From my point of the view the Jedi are evil!”

And the entirety of Arthas: Rise of the Lich King reads like this to me.

For example, there’s scene in which Kael’thas, Prince of the Blood Elves, confronts Jaina Proudmoore over Arthas’s destruction of his entire race. This is naturally complicated by the fact Jaina, tastelessly, chose whiny Arthas over fabulous Kael. Now, I think the thought process behind the scene went something like this: “what I’d like to show in this scene is Kael’thas verbally attacking the woman he loves and cannot have because he cannot attack his real enemy, Arthas, and therefore feels helpless and impotent. In order to capture this quite subtle interplay of emotions and ruined relationships, Goldie writes:

Jaina felt quick tears come to her eyes as she suddenly understood. He was attacking her because he could not attack his real enemy. He felt helpless, impotent and was striking out at the nearest target – her, Jaina Proudmoore, whose love he had wanted and failed to win.

Everything about the way the book is written is as laboured as the scene above. There’s no hope of anything, or anyone, accruing any emotional depth because, Rowling-like, everything the characters say, think and do are mercilessly explained to us. Take this little discussion between 9 year old Arthas and Prince Varian, whose father has just been assassinated.

“He was assassinated,” Varian’s voice was blunt and emotionless. … Arthas stared. Death in glorious battle was difficult enough to handle but this- Impulsively he placed a hand on the other Prince’s arm. “I saw a foal being born yesterday,” he said. It sounded inane, but it was the first thing that sprang to his mind and he spoke earnestly. “When the weather lets up, I’ll take you to see him. He’s the most amazing thing.” Varian turned towards him and gazed at him for a long moment. Emotions flitted across his face – offense, disbelief, gratitude, yearning, understanding. Suddenly the brown eyes filled with tears and Varian looked away. He folded his arms and hunched in on himself, his shoulders shaking with sobs he did his best to muffle… … “I hate winter,” Varian sobbed, and the depth of his hurt conveyed by those three simple words, a seeming non-sequiteur, humbled Arthas.

Putting aside for a moment, young Varian’s impressive ability to communicate a range of complex emotions in a short space of time using only his face, for God’s sake, you stupid woman, there’s no need for you spell it all out for me. I get it. You don’t have to join the emotional dots with a crayon. A seeming non-sequiteur my seeming arse.

It doesn’t help that it lacks any sort of consistent narrative voice, swinging from an attempt at Tolkeinesque portentousness which inevitably just sounds lame (“long had he lived” or “tall he was”) to an incongruous modernity. Arthas, in particular, sounds like he’s voiced by Keannu Reeves:

“I destroyed your homeland … fouled your precious sunwell. And I killed your father. Frostmourne sucked the soul right out of him, Kael. It’s gone forever.”

Like, totally, duuuude.

As you can see, the dialogue is generally pretty shite (sorry, I’ve lost my objectivity now). Kael’thas, my favourite character in the entirety of WoW canon, is its most tragic victim. A beautiful elven prince, thousands of years old, bizarrely into Jaina Proudmoore (I think because, as we have established, she is the only woman in the entirety of Azeroth), cultured, sophisticated, tremendously intelligent, and, ultimately, terrible tragic as Arthas’s destruction of his people reduces him to utter madness. He spends much of the book pouting and sulking after Jaina, flouncing out of rooms in “a swirl of violet of gold” (way not to look gay, Kael), throwing hissy fits and bickering with Arthas. His dialogue encompasses such immortal gems as

“In Quel’Thalas, there are trees that tower over these in a glory of white bark and golden leaves, that all but sing in the evening breezes. I think you would enjoy seeing them someday” (take me now!) and, rather less impressively, while verbally and literally fighting with Arthas: “You’re good at killing noble elderly men.” All together now: whooooo.

Oh sigh.

And if all that wasn’t bad enough, it’s just somehow plain misjudged a lot of the time. From Arthas’s weirdly homoerotic consumption of the Lich King Ner’Zhul (just, no thanks) to lines like “long had he lived, the length and yellowness of his tusks and the wrinkles on his brown skin testament to the fact.” Yellowness?! What the hell?

Below is a picture of Illidan Stormrage, part demon, part night elf, blind and wholly mad, another of WoW’s iconic figures. Isn’t he kind of fabulous? Wouldn’t you just love to get together with a group of friends and kill him?

Would you at any point, if writing about him, use the phrase: “Sweat gleamed on his massive, lavender-hued torso?” Lavender-hued? LAVENDER-HUED? Lavender is for grandmas and bath oils. Not insane demonic night elves. Come on, Christie Golden, don’t you give a damn what you’re doing?

I could criticise the writing style endlessly but the problems with Arthas: Rise of the Lich King are even more substantial. Again, I understand that writing the story of a life of a character who was probably made up as they went along is probably quite a challenge but I don’t think it alters the fact that the one event constantly cited as the most traumatic and character-defining of Arthas’s entire life is… Actually let’s do a quiz. Is it:

a) That time he murdered his father?

b) That time he killed an entire town of innocent people because they’d been infected with the undead plague?

c) That time he burned the boats of his own army to force them to keep fighting for him?

d) That time the guy he was staying with offered him a serving girl to rape?

e) That time he was picking up Frostmourne and it directly caused the death his mentor and oldest friend?

f) That time he killed Sylvanas Windrunner, turned her into a banshee and rape/tortured her for kicks?

g)The death of his horse.

What the hell? He even has recurring nightmares about it.

(by the way, it’s option g)

Okay, this has degenerated into ranting now. By whatever standards you’re judging it, Arthas: the Rise of Lich King is a bad, bad book. Just because something is a tie-in novel doesn’t mean readers aren’t entitled to flair, conviction, a small scintilla of actual talent. Is there anything good at all I can say about it? Well, the commas are all in the right places.

Themes:

Books

Sci-fi / Fantasy

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Arthur B

at 22:37 on 2009-07-14

Dan has pointed out that we’ve all been to Daggercap Bay so the description doesn’t have to do more than sketch in enough of the details to remind us and, bam, we have a ready-made vivid picture of it. Now maybe I’m just failing to engage with the differences between tie-in fiction and original-setting fiction but is it wrong of me to want just a little bit more effort than this?

That laziness isn't a trope of tie-in fiction, it's a disease of tie-in fiction.

Games Workshop/Black Library, who seem to have a better batting average than most with this sort of thing, seem to work on the assumption that any tie-in novel is potentially someone's first contact with the franchise in question - that's is why they put the classic "laughter of thirsting gods" blurb at the start of all the

Warhammer 40,000

books, after all. This does mean that the authors have to explain who the Space Marines are every time they're introduced in a novel, but it also forces the authors to have some degree of discipline and not Christie Golden the place up.

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Rami

at 22:38 on 2009-07-14The fact that the other prince's name is the same as that of the author of one of my first-year textbooks just highlights the ridiculousness of it all to me; I couldn't take anything seriously past that point.

That having been said, I've read some pretty good tie-in fiction and there's lots of mediocre-but-not-actively-crap tie-in in campaign settings like the Forgotten Realms or Dragonlance, so in my experience at least tie-in fiction's rules aren't that compromised by the rules of whatever they're retelling!

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http://serenoli.livejournal.com/

at 10:46 on 2009-07-15Studying Microeconomics, Rami?

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Shim

at 12:11 on 2009-07-15

Actually, I

haven't

been to Daggercap Bay, in fact I know nothing at all about the Warcraft universe except what I've picked up via gaming conversations/blogs/comics. Maybe I should read this thing as a control sample?

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Andy G

at 14:03 on 2009-07-15

The fact that the other prince's name is the same as that of the author of one of my first-year textbooks just highlights the ridiculousness of it all to me; I couldn't take anything seriously past that point.

I misread that, I thought there really was an economics professor called Arthas.

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Rami

at 17:07 on 2009-07-15@serenoli: I'm pleasantly surprised anyone got the reference, although I don't suppose I should be as it's a pretty typical text, isn't it? Certainly everyone I met at my uni on an economics course used it.

I misread that, I thought there really was an economics professor called Arthas.

Well since I used to play Warcraft III I would have loved a textbook I could call the Book of Arthas ;-)

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Wardog

at 14:26 on 2009-07-16@Arthur & Shimmin

Since WoW produces far fewer tie-in novels than the Black Library (those things are taking over Borders, there are shelves of them!), I don't think there's any particularly need to make them "introductory." I suspect the thinking behind it is there's genuinely *utterly no reason* to read a Warcraft novel unless you're already hugely into Warcraft.

I can has macro-enconomics joke?

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Arthur B

at 16:27 on 2009-07-16

I think Black Library managed to become huge in a way that the previous Games Workshop book line never was at least partially because they were able to rid themselves of that thinking, and made a conscious decision to a) try their damnedest to be accessible to newcomers without patronising hardcore fans, and b) not regard the fans as morons who will buy anything with the Warhammer logo on the cover. I strongly suspect that the later volumes of

Konrad

didn't match the potential of the first one at least partially because neither author nor publisher really gave a crap about what they were producing.

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http://fightsandtights.blogspot.com/

at 07:05 on 2009-09-30

That's precisely the sort of thinking that tie-in franchises get stuck in, of course: they don't write for newcomers because they don't expect any newcomers to buy the books, and as a result no newcomers buy the books, which discourages the publishers from producing more and discourages the writers from writing for newcomers, and you end up with a vicious circle which results in the novel line ghettoising itself. (It gets particularly bad when the authors and/or publishers also believe that the audience for the franchise is too stupid or too loyal to care about quality, and so can't be bothered to write well.) I think Black Library managed to become huge in a way that the previous Games Workshop book line never was at least partially because they were able to rid themselves of that thinking, and made a conscious decision to a) try their damnedest to be accessible to newcomers without patronising hardcore fans, and b) not regard the fans as morons who will buy anything with the Warhammer logo on the cover. I strongly suspect that the later volumes of Konrad didn't match the potential of the first one at least partially because neither author nor publisher really gave a crap about what they were producing.

You raise an excellent point here, and it's one worth considering. Despite WoW's massive fanbase (as well as the fanbases of their other universes), Blizzard just really focuses on writing novels for the existing fans, not in bringing in new ones. A good deal of their tie-in fiction are simply novelizations of the games in some capacity or prequels to upcoming stuff, and unlike Games Workshop, they rarely give the writers a chance to produce original stuff within the confines of these worlds they have created, though they are getting a bit better at it. As well, one of the things that Games Workshop really excels at with their tie-in fiction is that they take more risks and allow the writers to investigate and play with their creative properties much more frequently.

This also leads to a greater depth of genre material, for example, you can find Warhammer stories that involve big quests and swash-buckling adventures (Gotrex and Felix), detective stories (Zavant Konniger), horror (Vampire Genevive), etc. Now Blizzard is expanding a bit, particularly with their manga works, but they are still a long way off from getting anything close to the Black Library's level of quality, range and depth.

One of the major problems I had with this story was the lack of epic scope that I would expect for a novelization of much of Warcraft III, and it's a problem that Blizzard's novels seem to be running into frequently these days. Part of that is simply the transition from an interactive visual-based medium to a non-interactive text-based one (unless you count throwing the book against the wall a point of interaction), but honestly, Golden could not seem to capture the intensity and the epic nature of the many of the events she was writing about. Take the Siege of Hearthglen, for example. In the game, it's a mighty 30-min last stand against an overwhelming horde of flesh-eating nasties, and about a third of the way through, you're faced with the choice to save a series of nearby villages, possibly gaining an expansion town and preventing the undead from massing even more troops with the risk of possibly losing your main base because your forces are stretched too thin. In the novel, Golden doesn't bother to show it, beyond transcribing the start and end cutscenes to novel format. It's like the writers Blizzard has hired to write these books say to themselves, "I have to write battle scenes, intense drama, and make the reader feel like this stuff matters? Fuck it. Let's talk about Arthas' horse." I'm half-expecting when the inevitable novel chronicling the Exodus to Kalimdor and the events of the second half of WCIII comes out, the Battle of Mount Hyjal will be reduced to a schoolyard slapfight between Archimonde and Stormrage. Perhaps not the biggest problem with the book overall, but one of many, and as a major Warcraft fan, one that really stuck in my craw.

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Wardog

at 12:19 on 2009-10-05Hello there - welcome to Fb.

I don't much to say really except: yes, I agree with you entirely :)

The novel really does feel, and read, like a cutscene - I think because she makes no attempt to engage with the interactive elements of the game. So what you end up is a book that's basically a string of cutscenes. Wheeee.

It's a shame becaus the Arthas story does have a lot of potential, as you say, for drama and intensity.

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http://fightsandtights.blogspot.com/

at 13:39 on 2009-10-23

Hello there - welcome to Fb. I don't much to say really except: yes, I agree with you entirely :) The novel really does feel, and read, like a cutscene - I think because she makes no attempt to engage with the interactive elements of the game. So what you end up is a book that's basically a string of cutscenes. Wheeee. It's a shame becaus the Arthas story does have a lot of potential, as you say, for drama and intensity.

Many thanks for the warm welcome, and glad to hear I had something useful to contribute.

One of the things that really struck me when I was reading this novel was that Golden's writing skills seem to have dramatically declined since she wrote Lord of the Clans. That was a pretty good tie-in novel that worked both as a Warcraft story and a general high-fantasy one, and I'm considering doing a review of it for this site. Reading Rise of the Lich King, I had a uncannily similar feeling when I read the sixth Harry Potter book, namely, "Who is this woman and where has she stashed away the writer I had come to love?" Or just like, in this case...

#Ferretbrain #Arthas: Rise of the Lich King #World of Warcraft #Axis of Awful #Wardog

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