#or make up a story with that stupid fucking frog book like an 8 year old would

[felinecorpse]

Can we talk about how the autism diagnosis test things are the dumbest shit in the world

[wall-spider-exe]

15 Writing Prompts for When You’re Stuck and Trying Not to Cry:

First post on my shitty page, woo! :D

The title is pretty self-explanatory-- I was trying not to yeet myself off my roof during one of my terrible, headache-inducing creativity dry spell when I decided, “Hey, instead of thinking up a story, write some writing prompts. It’ll help you die slower. :D” And thus, this list of dumb prompts was born.  I’ve italicized ones that I’m going to use personally and maybe post on here just to show people how it turned out. Feel free to give me any pointers or suggestions, if you have them, and if you want to use them, go ahead.

1. A police officer’s normal, everyday shift is interrupted when they receive and order for the entirety of the metropolis’s police department to rush downtown. Upon arriving at the scene, the officer finds themselves confronted by a horrifying sight: giant, animal-like creatures have somehow appeared in the heart of the city, and there is no telling what they plan to do. Fearing the worst, the officer calls their significant other in case they don't return later that night. But as the call goes through, there is an odd sound amidst the chaos. The crowd goes silent. Strange-- the officer knows that sound. That sound is the ringtone their partner had saved for them. What’s even stranger is that the ringtone is coming from one specific creature... and that creature and its companions seem to recognize them.

2. A florist falls in love with the brooding cafe owner next door. They are too shy too tell their feelings upfront, so they communicate in the best way they know how-- through the language of flowers. Unfortunately for them, their caffeine-loving crush has no idea how to speak in the language of the intricately-arranged blossoms. To them, it’s a bit creepy at first, but soon the shop-owner finds themselves falling in love as well... both with their Château de Villandry-esque establishment and their secret admirer. (Kinda stole this from my book of writing prompts lmao.)

3. “The sun blazed down on [his/her/their/its] shoulders, much like it had for many years prior. The expanses of the emerald-colored field stretched like the arms of Jesus in the crucifix over the house’s mantle. [He/She/They/It] were/was ready for the cold, sweating glass of iced tea that momma had made, waiting on the granite slab counters once they walked back inside. But when [he/she/they/it] put [his/her/their/its] hand on the handle to the screen door, something inside of [him/her/them/t] burned. Someone was dying in that house. Someone was dying and [he/she/they/it] knew why. But if [he/she/they/it] tried to speak, that thing was gonna come, and then everyone would be quiet forever.”

4. A half-blooded merchild trying to get a grasp on their powers winds up getting washed down a river, deep into the woods, where they encounter a creature they had never seen before-- a house cat.

5. An internet troll signs up for a dating site and messages a person that they find extremely ugly. They decide to lead them on and proceed to humiliate them just because they can. However, the more the troll speaks to their target, the more they become infatuated with them, and the more they fall in love. (I stole this from Youtube, yes.)

6. “Well well, look what the cat dragged in,” chuckled a child’s [insert older relative here] as the old, fat, family cat sauntered in with its usual “fuck everyone” attitude. But the child looked closer and sees what their cat has dragged in-- a tiny, terrified-looking creature no bigger than a leaf.

7. A vampire, on their way back home after a particularly good night of feeding, crosses paths with a poltergeist. Both the spirit’s appearance and physicality (or what you could assume was their physical body) are quite young, and they are fed up with the last few decades they’ve spent in loneliness when passersby take off in terror at first glance of the spirit. The vampire then, motivated by their already-delightful mood, invites their newfound “friend” to come stay with them a while. No sooner did the pair arrive home did the poor blood-sucker figure out why the poltergeist was killed in the first place.

8. A small group comprised of two different species of extraterrestrials are part of a program of colonizing a newly-discovered terrestrial body. The program was enacted to hopefully strengthen the recently-developed peace between both of species' respective planets, but no one creature in the group can stand the other! I mean, why in the name of Vazoran would you ever use your top upper-right appendage for anything like that?! While surveying one area for habitation, two members of the group (obviously both of different species) are accidentally left behind. Unfortunately for them, their loathing for one another runs deeper than just race-- everything about the other just... ugh! This problem of theirs turns dire when the two realize neither of them has any idea of when the ship is coming back or how to deal with the native inhabitants of the land.

9. “Forgive me if I’ve made a misinterpretation. Oh, I was correct? But why would you have me sprinkle salt everywhere? It stings.”

10. A centauress, bored of her lazy days spent rolling around in the grass and eating and drinking and having to spectate on her older brothers’ training sessions, sets out for real fun and adventure, only to find herself lost and stuck between a rock and hard face-- literally. (*cough* rock troll thingy cough*)

11. Take a classic fairy tale (try to use the Disney version just to make it dumber/better) and reverse it. Here’s a few choices: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, The Princess and the Frog, The Little Mermaid, Rapunzel, Thumbelina, The Emperor’s New Clothes, The Brave Little Tailor, etc. Put your own twist on them! Genderbend some characters, insert some new ones, take out some old ones, change some of the characters’ species, go crazy! Go stupid!

12. “Twelve of the names on the list had already been crossed off. ‘Hello? Hey, are you here yet? I can’t see you,’ came the voice of the thirteenth name.”

13. A dangerous supervillian has just announced the launch of their campaign to take over the city and spread their control over the country, then the world. They were counting on the chaos arising from the citizens to achieve said campaign faster. What they weren’t counting on was the city’s superhero, bursting in with their eyes blazing, ready to wreak havoc on the villian's parade.

“Oh for the love of-- goddamn it, babe! Can’t I just succeed in pulling this off at least once without you getting upset when people start losing their shit?”

14. In this world, everyone needs glasses, whether it be to see near and far, see colors, or to see in general. A newlywed couple is celebrating the arrival of their first child. As the child grows, the parents notice something strange-- their baby can see perfectly.

15. “If there was another fight, they’d end up getting shut down, arrested, or killed. And having a hotheaded asshat like [insert name here] around was all that was needed to bring about all three of those results.”

Thanks for taking time to read this dumb post! I hope you find these helpful-- I used a lot of creative brain juice on these. :)

-Wall Spider

[closemyeyesforgood]

Growing up.

When I was very little, I don't have any particularly bad memories, other than being beaten up by my brothers (not badly, just maybe a bit rougher than necessary), or dad screaming so loud we had to cover our ears. I was attacked by a few dogs, a few cats, snakes, turtles etc. Regular life stuff for a 90's kid I guess.

When I was about 4, my mother's mother would take me every weekday. She must have hated kids because she would confine me to the living room with her cigarette rollers and that was what I was allowed to play with. I wasn't allowed to speak or come into the kitchen where she was, because she was smoking. She was always mean and short with me, and passed away when I was 7. My grandfather on that side passed shortly after, I remember him being nice, but I don't remember him being around much.

At this point I had already nearly died of a drug overdose on my mother's medication, almost drown at a horse show, and nearly suffocated during an athsma attack. My babysitter had thrown me down the stairs so I would "understand why it was so dangerous". And we also had a housefire, which the local fire department didn't believe, so we had to call the next town over. All before I turned 5.

So I start school. People are alright, I'm still assuming people are nice until they decide to be mean, silly me. I was a cute kid, but unfortunately it only brought me trouble. Girls wanted nothing more than to claw my skin and pull my hair. Boys only wanted to pick on me, push me into the mud, and throw rocks at me. It was hard to make friends, but I never stopped trying.

I did end up with a group of friends eventually, my best friends were these two girls, and we had 3 others that would also join us. One of these girls unfortunately had a much rougher home life than me and was pretty fucked up. Her Mom and my mom were best friends, and I would see them almost every day.

I've never felt closer to someone than I did to this girl. Unfortunately that is how people can make you feel when they want to use you. And yes even at such a young age, kids know how to use eachother. She manipulated me into doing things for her, stealing things, breaking things, saying things, etc.

Then she moved away, but I would still visit here and there, though I started becoming my own person again.

When I was about 8, my brother decided to go to the pond to catch frogs. I of course wanted to go. He said if I can find a jar to put the frogs in, I could come too. He left while I was looking for it of course. I grabbed a huge glass Mason jar to put the frogs in then jumped on my bike and tore towards the pond. I saw a car coming so I waited, but then when they passed I booked it across the street, not realizing cars come from both directions. I got hit. He was going 80 in a 50. I went in the air, did a flip, and landed right on my ass. Not a fucking scratch, glass jar unbroken.

It was a miracle honestly, if I had landed any other way, there was a chance I would have broken something or got that jar lodged into an organ or some shit. This was not long after my 8th birthday.

That same year, I found out my spine was twisted and I would need to wear a back brace indefinitely. That really helped me make friends, I thought they were going to bully me to death.

When I was 9, things got very different. My alcoholic, abusive father started beating me. He only beat my brothers, and my mom before, but I started annoying him with my "stupid questions" and crying.

He didn't do it often, because each time my mother would threaten to leave, but it took a lot of effort for him to stop. He switched from slapping to squeezing in hopes it wouldn't be as "bad". He was already very verbally abusive, and was essentially a tyrant with all of us. If we ever did something wrong, even by a little bit, the rest of the day would be filled with screaming and beratement. This encouraged our mom to have lots of people over all the time, because he was always a jolly guy when people were over.

When I told my teacher she said "it's not nice to tell lies" and very firmly gripped my arm and made me sit in detention. A week later CPS was called because my friends mom gave me his hand me down snowsuit. They assumed my mother was neglecting me, since I didn't have my own snowsuit. But my dad beating me? Ridiculous.

This teacher was horrible, would single me out in class, and encourage other students to pick on me and be abusive because I "needed to learn to have fun like the rest of the kids".

This same teacher would condone sexual assault from the boys in my class, and ripping my hair out and cutting me from the girls. She thought it was annoying that I "didn't appreciate the attention" and complained about "every little thing" and would often bruise me with pinching or squeezing my arm. She was horrible, and I don't know why she was like this. But I'll never forget the bitch.

So I'm 10 now. I've punched and kicked enough of the boys they stopped lifting up my skirt and grabbing my chest and ass. Threatening them with a knife might have helped too, who knows, I kind of took matters in my own hands when the teachers wouldn't listen.

This year, my best friend also moved back into town, so I felt like I had someone again. My other friends had already started joining the other kids in picking on me and hurting me physically. But this girl was always interested in only me. Maybe because she really did love me, or because I was easily manipulated. Maybe both. But either way I wasn't alone anymore, and I was so happy she was back. I did anything and everything for her.

This was also the year my dad met another woman. He was always a dog, but I never saw him LITERALLY turn into a puppy for someone. He moved her in, started an affair. We all had to cater to her and her son, or dad would lose his fucking mind.

Our Christmas and Easter were written off because he spent all of his money on this woman, and her son. Even paying for a portion of her trip out west where she was moving to, to be with her fiance.

My mom was completely fed up and told Dad he needed to leave. So over the next several months he basically just drank and screamed and packed his things. At this time mom also met someone. A man who moved into an apartment next door. They fell inlove immediately, and there I was, without my mom or my dad, and my brothers never wanted anything to do with me.

My mom, fearing for my safety due to my dad being super angry about moving out, started taking me to that friends place for several nights a week. At first it was amazing. All this time with my best friend, sleepovers, makeup, ghost stories, witchy stuff, you name it. It was awesome.

But then things began to turn. I knew about homosexuality, but not much, and honestly didn't realise you could know so young. But she then started being very affectionate, more and more, holding hands, cuddling, kissing... She then started becoming sexually abusive with me. I didn't like it, I hated it. I became afraid of her, but also dependant on her to feel safe or loved. She would mentally abuse me so I would do what she wanted, and at such a young age I really just didn't know how to process it or defend myself. She told me if I told anyone, her dad would murder us both, I believed her, her dad was way worse than mine.

This went on for a few months, and one day we ended up watching porn. Hey older siblings were watching and got us to watch too. She had already seen it a bunch apparently. The problem was this have her ideas, and she decided to get her brother involved. This went on for another few months until my dad moved out and my mom had a fight with my friends parents because of something that I can't recall.

It is unfortunate that this happened to me, but it happened and I'm still here. It didn't really hit me until a year or so later when I was into Junior high.

So I'm 11 now. I've been told I need to have spinal surgery before my 12th birthday. There is a 5% chance I will become paralyzed from the waist down. So my mom is terrified naturally. They say I need a blood donor, my dad is in Alberta, and my brother is kicking up a fuss about having to be on standby in case I need blood. He was hoping he could hang with his friends instead.

My mom's new boyfriend moves in. With his rules and restrictions on me and my mom. He became the new tyrant. He wasn't an alcoholic, he want physically abusive. But he was controlling and definitely was generous with the drugs and alcohol.

I have a few months to go before the big day. But those months have a lot of appointments. I missed a lot of school, but always got my work done. I was very vocal, and contrary with the teacher we had, because she was almost an exact repeat of the previous teacher I mentioned. Only she was all about verbal abuse, not physical. Singling me out. Making an example of me, making fun of me, encouraging other students to do the same. I called everyone out on everything but it was futile. I didn't know gaslighting and invalidation were things yet, so I eventually just believed them. Again thinking people were nice and honest unless they had a good reason not to be, I just eventually figured I deserved it.

I made a close friend, coincidentally with the same name as my previous friend. Turns out they were very similar, they saw they could manipulate and use me. And they very much did so. I became dependant on her. My mom was virtually ignoring me at this point because she had a new man to give all of her attention to, so naturally I was feeling alone and unloved yet again.

This friend manipulated me into doing many things for her and being a part in many schemes that I was ignorant to. I opened up to her a lot about my life because I thought she cared, but she just needed it as ammunition to keep control over me. I was hooked and we stayed friends for many years. More about that later.

So I have my surgery. I have to learn to walk again, and I didn't end up needing a transfusion, so a big huge win. Not paralyzed, no more back brace, didn't lose any blood, feeling like a rock star. Got drives to school and people to carry my books every day for to weeks was pretty awesome too. Until it wasn't.

My teacher immediately began berating me, telling me I would never amount to anything. Because I missed time for my surgery, I was definitely going to fail. Depending on others to carry my books was weak and pathetic. I was stupid, worthless, a waste of space. It was like her and my mom's boyfriend were exchanging notes or something. She was wretched, and was even more angry when the school asked me to present a donation to the hospital that did my surgery. She thought that was ridiculous and would "go to my head".

Finally the year was over, and I could go and be with my grandmother on my father's side all summer. Normally I would only be there for a few weeks, but she saw what life was like for me at home and wanted me to be with her all summer. If it wasn't for those Summers, I don't think I would have been able to handle all of this alone.

So I'm 12 now. Started my period, going through puberty, living on poverty, still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to act. Good behaviour breeds hate and jealousy, bad behaviour breeds punishment and cruelty. It was confusing. But my teacher this time was one of the kindest people I've ever met.

Over the summer my mom and her boyfriend got pretty comfortable with a house that didn't have a young girl living in it. So they had a lot of his friends over. He was a "retired" gangster, so I'm sure you can guess what kind of friends he had over all the time. There was alcohol and drugs around constantly. People fighting, people fucking, injecting heroin, snoring cocaine, blowing smoke in every direction including my face. The only person who ever said shit about it was one of my brothers, and my stepdad would just reward him in ways that would make him "forget about it and have fun with us" because he was a boy. I wasn't really a person, neither was mom, we were women.

I would come to school traumatized from witnessing people having sex on our kitchen table, or putting needless in their veins, and not sleeping because they blasted music until 4am so loud I couldn't hear myself scream. Also all the men I would find passed out, outside my bedroom door... The first few times I didn't have a lock, but someone would always catch them before they got under the covers. One of them was too drink to get passed to doorway and I woke up to them passed out with their pants down right beside my bed.

When things started to settle down and my mom's boyfriend started seeing me as a human being, he started to get protective. Which was better than before, but still wasn't ideal. I still feared him, and became powerless, afraid, alone. I didn't have any positive attention in my life, and him becoming protective was both good and bad. More rules, more restrictions.

One day, a man came to visit with his girlfriend. I was practicing on my grandmother's keyboard, and he came in to see me. Sat beside me and asked me to play him another song. So I did. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. Telling me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and he wants me to come over and play the piano for him this weekend.

Excited for this kindness, I said "of course!" Since they only lived a few doors down. I was used to adults telling me I was beautiful, and asking me to play the keyboard, so I guess this didn't alarm any bells for me. My stepdad came in, asked the man to step outside, and for me to go to my room. I heard yelling and then them leaving shortly after.

I found out later that he got his ass fucking beat. As did all the men who tried to come into my room. This 45 year old man, in front of his girlfriend, my mother, and my now stepdad, was clearly trying to lure me into his house so he could take me. His girlfriend was the first to point this out, so she knew he was a predator, and let him come into our house anyways.

I had no idea what was happening, thought he was just being really nice. People enjoyed hearing me play, so it wasn't an odd request for me.

So time goes on, life at home is still pretty horrible for me. Either alone and starving and freezing, or in a house full of drive out people partying to club level volumes of music. But school isn't so bad.

I'm 13 now. Excited to be a teenager. My mom gets me a pretty gold ring, and a purse with money in it. Biggest gift I've gotten since I was 4 when I got a tricycle. Mom still had moments of love with me, but they weren't often anymore, because her attention was monopolised.

I made another really close friend who was a genuine person, and I still miss her, but she has become a stranger after all these years. She didn't understand my struggles, but she made life bearable, and she helped me feel wanted. Her family happily took me in every weekend, as I would cook, clean, and help babysit her younger siblings.

We hung out a lot. And I was even allowed to have her over at my place... Once. She screamed really loud when she came to visit because she saw a mouse

[svtskneecaps]

im actually curious now... ive never played the game myself but ive seen ads floating around... why Are you so heated abt hogwarts mystery if u dont mind me asking?? --💕

OH BUD, YOU'RE GONNA REGRET ASKING

i've ranted before on here and i'm too lazy to read it over and make sure i don't repeat points so if you want to hear me say the same stuff a different way then this post is the main rant i did before (although some bits are out of date, like the stats rant; they fixed that some), basically i have a few big problems

gameplay is frustrating

energy is required to do almost all things story related, except like. the occasional duel.

energy recharges one point at a time, every four minutes. there is an energy maximum that you can increase at certain points during the story. as far as i can tell, everything is divided between things that are "1 hr", "3 hr", and "8 hr". this goes for classes, story moments, etc. you use the energy to tap highlighted shapes and fill a star meter and if you collect all the stars you need, you pass

the 1 hr stuff requires a full energy meter, no matter how big your meter is, as far as i can tell. my meter is 33 max energy. it takes me 2 hrs to fill this meter. THE ONE HOUR STUFF TAKES ME TWO HOURS TO COMPLETE. SO NATURALLY, I THINK THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT.

either way, waiting for the energy to recharge is fucking boring, especially when the story is progressing at a snail's pace (it's a mobile game, they're trying to make you pay money to complete the game faster, which i GET. i play idle games. i have the patience of a god. BUT AT LEAST FUCKING BAKERY STORY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING)

duelling used to be worse (it uses a rock-paper-scissors mechanism and it used to be if you lost the rock paper scissors you just didn't get to go, so you could get stunlocked by the enemy and lose just because you suck at random chance rock paper scissors, which was fucking frustrating. now the rock paper scissors just decides who goes first, which i'll admit is better)

i guess they've been trying to fix it and make it less. shitty. so a while back they added "clubs" which is pretty much just another incentive to complete events. the highlights you tap on to fill up the meter to complete events are a different color sometimes and it gives bonus club exp that gets you rewards sometimes. clubs aren't terrible, like they're a bandaid fix but i mean they did at least add some measure of satisfaction to the experience. even if it's like. not enough.

they also added a "memory log" which i guess the idea was that it would be fun to revisit scenes from past years and quests and ~view your memories~ but. it doesn't work. like i try to play a memory and it loads for infinity. so. that's a useless feature

they also added "pages" which are just. pieces of paper you can bind into a notebook (used as a form of special currency in the game; you buy animals with it). apparently you can also use them to buy another chance at the timed quests but i hate timed quests very deeply so they're useless to me. not sure if that feature works but considering it's triggered using the memory log it's really anyone's guess. so that's pretty. awful.

(it's much harder to get genuinely heated when i'm taking the time to list the faults i take with the game one by one in an essay like format but this game sends me into rand mode 90% of the time i'm just apathetic to it right now, i'm being clinical)

it's ugly

this game is more glitch than graphic. i cannot count on my appendages how many glitches and weird moments and gross graphical choices there are. maybe this is just because it's a mobile game and it's a hardware limitation, i have no idea. that's probably the case. doesn't make me hate the game any less. doesn't make me hate how ugly it is any less.

now i don't record the quidditch matches so i don't have many examples of that but those cutscenes are glitchy as all fucking get out and that's one of the things you can use to grind stats, energy, etc. there's not a quidditch event going on so i can't get images of the tail end of my broom EXTENDING OFF INTO THE TREELINE FOR FIVE MILES OFFSCREEN in certain cutscenes so you'll have to take my word for that one, but it's a thing that happens in two separate cutscenes and it's fucking bananas that it's still a thing that exists and hasn't been FIXED or NOTICED do they not have quality assurance????????????

AND WHY DOES MY WRIST LOOK LIKE THAT. WHY. I WANT TO HOLD MY FROG. I LOVE MY FROG. BUT GOD, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY HAS TWISTED MY WRIST LIKE A WET TOWEL. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT???

I'M PRETTY SURE THE QUAFFLE IS SUPPOSED TO BE UNDER MY ARM, WHY IS THIS WHAT'S HAPPENING. THIS CLIP PLAYS IN EVERY QUIDDITCH MATCH I EVER DO.

WAIT THERE'S NOT EVEN A FUCKING BROOM THERE I LITERALLY NEVER NOTICED THAT THERE'S NOT EVEN A BROOM. I WAS SO DISTRACTED BY THE QUAFFLE I DIDN'T NOTICE THERE'S NO FUCKING BROOM.

THEY'RE HANGING OFF THE BACK END OF THEIR BROOMS. THIS PLAYS EVERY MATCH. WHAT THE FUCK. (don't mind the image quality that's coming from me screenshotting a screen recording)

i don't feel like editing video clips right now just for a shitty rant post about a shitty app game so you'll have to take my word for it that there is more shit and it is egregious and barely a scene goes by where something ugly doesn't happen. half the time they're like "cast this spell!" and i cast it and there's supposed to be a sweet little animation of your character casting the spell but every time i do it, the game glitches and my character freezes, and then the spell has been cast. no animation. which is awful. half the time it loads in such a way that you think you blinked, but no. the screen just glitched everything into place. i don't know how to describe it honestly. it's awful.

it's boring

the story COULD be good, if it wasn't fed to you in tiny chunks over the course of several years. it's an okay plot, the usual harry potter chasing after some mystery (in this game it's the Cursed Vaults, usually there's a specific vault you're chasing in every year to hopefully find your brother and save hogwarts from the curse in the process). that's a pretty solid start

but there's so much FILLER. like there's a bit in year 3 where you go fucking around trying to make an extra sweet butterbeer for madame rosmerta while she's trying to track down your brother's journal in her back room (which is apparently as organized as my fuckin bedroom) and like. it takes so fucking long to actually progress with ANYTHING related to the story after that. like the entire plot STALLS while you try to make the butterbeer. LIKE IMAGINE IF A HARRY POTTER NOVEL STOPPED FOR A CHAPTER TO DESCRIBE HIM DOING SOMETHING SO FUCKING BORING. like at least in there you might get some character development or something, there's no shit like that in this fucking godawful shit of a game. hell there's barely character development, for you, for your friends, for the professors, fuckin NOTHING

they bloated their cast out. there's way too many characters and they waste their time on filler rather than actually developing the characters (for reference, i'm halfway through year 4). ben's personality is "cowardly gryffindor". rowan's personality is "books and socially awkward". tonks's personality is "prankster" (which, incidentally, i've heard is also the entire personality of another character you meet later). they aren't developed. i think they're blowing their character development budget on the "enemies to friends" arc they're trying to pull (i'm guessing that based on a christmas theme side quest and her uncharacteristically spilling her tragic backstory, that's a prediction)

year 1 was entirely wasted time. they could have done so much more with year 1, and they just. didn't. year 1 is disproportionately short and it only involves three friends (rowan, ben, and penny) plus your main enemy. it lays the base bones for your rivalry fairly well, all things considered, and starts the chase for the cursed vaults, and lays some bases for your friendships (wish they would have done more, since the characters are still a little one-note), and then they fucking drop the ball in later years. like i haven't seen ben since year 2, but there was SOMETHING going on between him and the vaults, what the fuck was that? why is no one acknowledging that?? there is a mystery that they're just fucking ignoring and i'm going to go fucking crazy

i went into greater detail on this in the other rant so i'm not going to do it again but it pisses me off. that and how useless the house is. and the fact that it presents you with choices like they'll do anything, but they don't really affect anything (at least not where i'm at in the game). like, i've been presented with the option to take different characters with me, but the friend i took with me didn't get any meaningful dialogue at all so what even would the difference be if i'd taken someone else?? what was the point?? it's stupid. it's dumb. i hate it. i hate it.

anyway there's 1600 words on it. the only reason i'm still playing it is because i plan on reworking the whole damn thing using the "each house gets a different storyline with a few constant story beats", but to do that i need to know the plot of the stupid fucking thing. so that's what i'm doing for the moment. it might take me a couple years to finish though. this game sends me spiraling into burnout at speeds only rivaled by public school, even when it's NOT forcing you to stop and wait eight straight hours.

[ct-9932-dedsec]

You want the truth?

Name: Justin Eugene Sholler or Justin Eugene Stuart Jr depending on which parent you ask. Dad wanted me to be a junior, guess you should've been around jackass..

DOB: 03-31-1994

Aries

Fire

Hobbies: guitar, codong/programming, and video games

Currently unemployed but looking

I used t to tell my brother that his toy cars would look cooler if they were wrecked, that way I was able to smash them with a hammer and not feel bad about it. It didn't work, I still felt bad about it.

I would take my old cowboy and Indian plastic figures out to the garden in Texas and cut them up with a garden hoe.

I got called a freak because I was always so smiley and liked a girl named Rachel in 4th grade.

I have always wanted to do homemade experiments and science things, but never had the confidence to try anything.

My room is always a mess, I clean it and let it get a wreck again so that way anyone who sees it can see how messed up my mind is.

Me and my friends would catch frogs just to put firecrackers in places or tied to them. POP

I would climb this certain tree behind the dumpster in our old complex and pick the apples just to throw them at passing cars.

Got in trouble for fights that a kid started. I took his abuse for a while then just unloaded on him. Assault.

More trouble for going outside with Billy at 2 am because kids were screaming, so we convinced them we were vampires and they were targets since we could hear them from miles away, they reported us I got inducing panic and obstruction of justice for lying about it.

Got another assault case, this kid and i were arguing back and forth for some time and i finally sung on him with a book, got his back and left a rectangle bruise covering some ribs and midback.

Now this moment is another I am not proud of!! Me and my brother were fighting and arguing and i to get what all was said to me but I looked at him and said, "at least my dad isn't dead". The look in his eyes..the pain I caused him..afterwards my mom talked to him and told him the story and he was more understanding then. I feel this is one of many reasons he refuses to talk to me.

My dad seen me as a baby, I don't remember those times. I remember seeing him at 7 or 8 and that was for one night he was lying next to me on the floor to spend time with me then he got up and i hardly got to talk to him after that, the next morning he was gone. He seen me when i turned 18 or 19, took me to a Chinese place and told me all this I should have been there bullshit, then he was gone again. So twice after seeing me he wanted nothing to do with me, obviously I'm the problem.

I'm probably the least self confident person you will ever meet.

I failed to graduate high school because I stopped caring, during my last job I lied to everyone saying I was going to college classes when I was really going back to get my diploma. I did get that though, took tests got credits got the stupid thing. Meeting Kristina (more down the post) is what motivated me to finish it.

I would cut in the middle of my classes in middle school just because I hated that people had to put up with me being around.

My eyes are hazel and often change color from what I'm told.

I recently used a bible paper to roll a cigarette since we ran out of rolling papers.

I clean the apartment because id rather it be done by me than listen to my mother or sister bitch about them having to do it.

First time I learned about love was from a girl named danii, was my first for a lot, so when she cheated on me it did tear me apart.

Moved on and cheated on the next girl I dated by messaging some chick in a sexual way.

Moved on started dating Jen who cheated on me quite a bit, I cheated on her while I lived with her just so I could find a way out of the relationship.

Then I met Kayla went good for a while, she lied to me and kissed someone else so I got torn yet again. We tried working on it for a while but I was realizing after years of that relationship it was just meant to be over, for some reason I didn't want to let go.

I met Kristina, after meeting her I realized something, I fell in love pretty fast, I spent 42 hours staring at her and i wish I could have spent way more the same way. It felt like I finally found someone who I could see myself being with forever. Then I fucked it all up. I didn't tell my family or Kayla about our relationship, I ended up cheating on the one person I never wanted to hurt. Because of me she can't trust when I say I love her, because of me she is hurting and that thought is so unbearable I want to cut out my brain and heart just to stop thinking and feeling.

I have lied to people recently, I haven't been sleeping as much as I claim. I actually can't remember the last time I slept longer than an hour. I spend that time relearning code, practicing guitar, and if I get bored enough video games. I have nothing else to do since I can't sleep without you next to me.

When I say I can't get comfortable, it means exactly that. I can't get comfortable because you are not in my arms, you are not next to me. Even lying on the floor in the living room with my mom, sister, and kayla makes me feel alone because you're not there.

I grind my teeth under times of stress.

I refuse to smile anymore because my teeth and without your love i have no reason to.

I don't know if I'm 6foot 1 or 6'2"

I weigh around 150ish I don't know, I don't gain weight.

I haven't eaten much lately.

I don't feel the need for food or sleep anymore

This is a long post.

[tanmath3-blog]

Richard Alan Long is a very kind man. He has a great sense of humor and always seems happy. He is a family man with twin girls. I can’t imagine how he gets any writing done. I can tell you he adores his family and loves to talk about them. He is passionate about his writing and wants to make sure his books are as perfect as they can be before he releases them. If you haven’t read his stories please pick one up and don’t forget to leave a review. Make sure to say hello to him and send him a friend request. Please help me welcome Richard Alan Long to Roadie Notes…….

  1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

I was always writing stories as far back as I can remember. When I was a kid it was these crappy comic strips based on the ‘Garbage Pail Kids’ which I was obsessed with. I’d draw them with marker pens and crayons. I wrote a whole series based on the characters. As a kid I obviously didn’t know the movie was considered the worst movie ever made, me and my friends thought it was awesome. We’d trade the cards at school which probably lead to me being a completest later in life. As I got older I’d write stories. Always had a good imagination. Although my teachers at school said I was a daydreamer. One day I wrote a poem. Teachers didn’t believe it was me. Kids came up and said ‘no way did you write that poem’ It got put in the school newspaper and I’d still get kids coming up stamping a finger into my chest saying ‘You didn’t write that!’ But I was always creative. I am an only child and like most only children I spent a lot of time alone, creating worlds with toys and drawings.

2. How many books have you written? Two novels, three novellas, fourteen plays, about sixteen short stories and hundreds of poems…getting them where they need to be is another story. Some are published and some I doubt will ever see the light of day but I like to look back over the old ones to see how much I’ve developed as a writer.

3. Anything you won’t write about? Not interested in torture porn and gore just for the sake of it. It has to fit in with the story. Story is number one for me. I like to go on a journey with characters. I don’t like books where characters are merely created just to be killed off in outlandish ways. That gets boring for me very quickly.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc… I am married with two kids. Besides writing I’ve worked a spectrum of jobs. Mostly retail and hospitality. It gave me some great characters. At the moment though, being a stay at home dad and writer is the best job I could ask for.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written? I quite like ‘Words Apart’ I wrote it when I was young and it has a young person’s conviction and determination. I did a play over ten years ago. I wrote it, a mate directed it and some friends acted in it. It was a great time. Rehearsing and performing. We did it purely for the love of it. I remember all the plays in my region at the time were either comedies or Shakespeare and I wrote this play that was like a Stephen King book if David Lynch had directed it with the budget of a Troma movie. It was great working with such dedicated people, many I’m still friends with.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

I think I was inspired by being told I couldn’t do it. School had told me I was better off leaving, my grades were awful and I felt completely useless and the education system reinforced that. If you segregate kids and tell them they are the bottom class, that the most they can ever achieve is a E grade then unfortunately at a young age you start to believe you are worthless. I remember one teacher used to shout at me as I walked into to school ‘Not be long before you can sign on the dole.’ So it made me think, especially at a young age that I was a failure and I was stupid. But the best advice I got was the school telling me to leave and go to college. I went to college and it was a joy. The lecturers knew how to nurture talent and get the best out of students. They made you feel like you mattered. In terms of writing and inspiration it came from a few different writers. The first book to truly inspire me to want to write was ‘Salem’s Lot’ by Stephen King. It is beautifully written. It is scary. I remember reading it late at night and I felt right there with Ben Mears when he’s exploring the Marsten house. It’s still to this day my favorite book. At college I started writing and studying plays and I was very inspired by Harold Pinter. I still am. He inspired me to write better dialogue. I love his plays. Everything appears normal and English but there is an oddness to it all. Off the top of my head some writers or books that made a massive difference and inspired me where ‘The Woman in White’ by Wilkie Collins. Collins had such a way of capturing human emotion. ‘Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D. Salinger is another book I found inspirational. I read it and I was blown away. It is sublime. I think I read it in two sittings. Also I must mention William S Burroughs. I have read most of his books and I think he was a genius. So yeah I was a kid that got told I was thick and useless but I was reading William S. Burroughs and Wilkie Collins for fun without realizing I was actually self-educating myself.

7. What do you like to do for fun? When not writing and not looking after my family I enjoy playing Nintendo. I am a massive fan of the Legend of Zelda. Have been since day one when I used to play it with my late father. I’m a bit of a geek for Italian horror cinema but don’t get much chance to have Dario Argento marathons anymore with my kids in the house. Obviously I read. Loving Richard Chizmar’s work at the minute. I also and this is very rock n roll, but I have a favorite chair in my garden and I love a cup of tea on an evening and get the chance to just to sit and stop everything. To take a moment to think about my late parents, to remember the good times and too think about my friends. My dad passed away just over a year ago and the end was tough. It’s nice to just take a moment and remember the good moments we shared. On a lighter note I love a Monday night when the family goes to bed and I relax and watch the new Twin Peaks. David Lynch is my favorite director. The guy is a legend. I like music too, don’t go to gigs as much anymore. I’m still old school. Still buy my music on CD’s.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book? None. I just think…fuck me this is going to take some editing.

9. Where do you write? Quite or music? I generally write to music. Rock music or soundtracks. But when I’m second drafting or working over a scene I prefer silence.

10. Anything you would change about your writing? Not getting kicked out of school and being told I was a failure from every educational body at a young age might have helped. It took years for to meet people who had confidence in me and my writing. Advice for any writer. Find someone who believes in you. My wife has been a rock of support for me.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer? Don’t really think much in those terms. All I want is to make a living at it and hope I can entertain people. Everything else is a welcome bonus.

13. Pets? It’s a tough one. One of my daughters is terrified of dogs, cats, Kermit the Frog and anything that moves. Yet my other child is like Steve Irwin, grabbing any bug or slug and holding them close and saying ‘Hello cutie pie’ My wife wants a dog but I’m still undecided.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing? Freedom. Freedom to just get lost in a story. That all its about at the end of the day. I suppose it’s not even about getting published. It’s a therapy. Some people take drugs, others drink. I write.

15. What is coming next for you? Preparing to release a novella ‘About A Witch’. I’ve got a few short stories due out too with different publishers. and then hopefully once they’ve done the rounds I’ll have a deal for a novel on the table. Also I’ve never collaborated with another writer before so hoping to work with someone soon.  ‘About a Witch’ is out soon as well as my work with Hellbound Books Publishing LLC 

  You can connect with Richard Alan Long here:

Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle-dbs/author/ref=dbs_P_W_auth?_encoding=UTF8&author=Richard%20Alan%20Long&searchAlias=digital-text&asin=B00AKU2RS8

      Some of Richard Alan Long’s books:

  Getting personal with Richard Alan Long Richard Alan Long is a very kind man. He has a great sense of humor and always seems happy.