#or they'll be all weird about it as if my upset is their burden.

[spade-club]

I... hate what my life has become. I am so tired. I am spending the first bit of free time without my partner ive had in weeks sitting here being upset about them instead of being able to enjoy my freedom from them because I know this wont last forever. It'll hardly last two more hours. And I still wont have the fucking conversation with them when they come home because chances are I wont be here and no one else will. That or they'll come home in a mood and I wont want to make shit worse. Its just... unending. All I want to do is make ground rules for if they want to talk to other people & let them know that it did upset me that they went off and did things before the rules were clear with two different people without even telling me. One of those people being their roommate.. I guess ex roommate now. They moved in to our house because their old roommate, after sleeping with them many times, was being a huge fucking dick and I decided to be their safe haven from him??? As if like, them making bad decisions with him wasnt the whole problem right now anyways. Not my problem to fix, but here I am living with them and being miserable all the time now because of it. Like. Yeah, move in with me and my twin bed knowing full well you have no intention of sleeping anywhere else and I have complained to you before, many times, about how hard it is for me to sleep well with you in such a small bed. And then they get mad at me if I fall asleep on the couch. Theres. No. Winning. And I just have to endure this. As if its not my fucking life too. I was here all the time before this. But now I can hardly stand to be around anymore. It's just. Exhausting.

[laoih]

Some thoughts on Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender

I love the original animated series, and have loved it for many years. I know that many fans are upset about the adaptation, and that's their prerogative. I know how that feels, that's basically me as a fan of Tolkien's work with Amazon's terrible The Rings of Power series.

However, when it comes to Avatar The Last Airbender, I can say that I genuinely like the live action adaptation. It is flawed for sure, and I have my criticisms, but I still think it's enjoyable and has a lot of heart. I do want to see more of it.

A quick (lie) list of the highs and lows in my opinion (spoiler warning):

Let's start with the shortcomings:

The dialogues: Throughout the whole show they are probably the biggest issue. Too often they are used for exposition, or to tell the viewers what they could deduce by themselves. It's often on-the-nose and missing subtlety. Although I have to admit that it seems for some people who don't know the animated series, it seems to help for understanding the show better, and therefore may be justified at least in parts.

Aang's woe-is-me attitude: It makes sense that Aang is suffering due to his trauma of being the last of his kind, of losing his family, and because being the Avatar is a huge burden. However, towards the end his attitude of "everything is my fault" started to get annoying. He doesn't have to feel responsible for everything. I hope he can quickly move past this in s2. I'd like to see other sides of Aang as well.

Aang's water bending: I think it's weird that Aang never really gave water bending a try. They never even give a reason why he didn't try, and that just makes that change confusing.

Aang's & Katara's relationship: I understand why they didn't include Aang's crush on Katara, but with them bonding over water bending being removed as well means that two major parts of their relationship don't exist, and the show has failed to really build up their relationship in a meaningful way otherwise.

Katara's character: In general she stays a bit underdeveloped, and the actress is lacking a bit of Katara's edge and energy in my opinion.

Azula: I don't like how they have written her, and I don't think the actress fits the character either. It's very difficult, because Azula in the animation does not act her age at all. Her entire demeanor is difficult to portray for a teenager, but it's also very memorable. Itd be hard for any actress to do her justice.

Mai & Ty Lee: They have nothing to do in that season & now they can't get the great character-defining introductions that they had in the original series. They were included to give Azula someone to talk to, but it's to the detriment of these two characters – they're just bland background now.

The Spirit World: Episode 5 just didn't work for me because there was too much crammed into it. There was no reason to include Wan Shi Tong nor did it make sense to include Hei Bai and then basically completely skip his story. With Koh being the actual culprit, the abduction of the villagers stands in no relation to the burnt forest in that episode. It would have been better to tell

Avatar Roku: I feel there was wasted potential there. Based on interviews I suppose there was simply no time & money left, so I hope they'll do him more justice in later seasons.

Now for the highlights:

The Bending: I think for most of the series it looks very powerful and impressive. It's not perfect throughout, but in general they did a really good job with it.

Zuko: Dallas Liu's portrayal is wonderful and I have zero complaints and only praise.

Aang's & Zuko's relationship: I think they build a solid foundation for these two characters, and I think some of Gordon's best acting is opposite to Dallas Liu.

Suki: Loved the actress' performance and how they have written her.

Ozai: I think Ozai is a case where the live action character is more interesting and impressive than the animated character. I really like what they are doing with him and Daniel Dae Kim is perfect in that role.

Jet & the Mechanist: I think putting these two plots together is a very interesting and fitting idea, and contrasting them in the same episode made me think about them in relation as I hadn't done before. It's fascinating how these two characters, who should actually fight for the same goal, have gone down two very different paths.

Kioshi's avatar state: It basically replaces Rokku's version in the animated version, and it's just cool.

Bumi: Maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I think within the context of this more serious show this version of Bumi makes much more sense. Animated-Bumi with his challenges for Aang to realise how to take different approaches to find a solution wouldn't have worked with the changed tone of the story.

Sokka: Within the context of the show, Sokka also works well. He still is funny at times, but he is a bit more mature and responsible than animated-Sokka, which is more realistic in this show. Otherwise, one would have wondered why Hakoda didn't live an actual adult man in the village for protection.

The 41st division: I know, one of the points in the original was also that Zuko's defense of the new recruits seem to have been useless, but I love that his crew was given such an impactful background. It does not lessen the tragedy of Zuko's situation.

Hahn: I kind of like that he's not just a complete idiot, but actually a likable guy that I felt sorry for when he died.

The impact of war: I liked the exploration of what war does to people and especially children. It includes a variety of examples and stories, and I like that we get different kind of sides to this.

The locations: the sets are good, and the CGI backgrounds as well.

Appa, Mom and other fantastical animals: I understand that it's difficult to include them for large amounts of time, but I think whenever they are used they are convincingly animated.

The music is as good as expected.

... I'm sure I have forgotten many things I wanted to mention, but this has to do for now.

[elio-monroe]

just kinda talking about emotions and long term friendships. weird to say this but if you know me irl then this is probably about you but in a positive way, but sorry about the vague i guess. also its long and ramble-y, thoughts directly from head and through my keyboard (probably contradict myself somewhere in here because im having bad mental illness).

i feel really bad for all my friends having to deal with my ass. im so terrible all the time because i just have never had friends for this long. im use to meeting people and in a years time we go our separate ways and then i meet new people, and then rinse and repeat. and a lot of the people i called friends in my childhood (not all of them! but a lot of them) were kinda terrible to me. idk i got use to always being the lowest rung on the ladder you know, and i didn't mind it because at least i had friends and the situation would change soon enough anyways.

but i think years of metaphorically and physically being stepped on by so many people just kinda made that feel like thats how i am suppose to be. its hard for me to ask for help, not because i think im too tough or anything, but because i am so scared that i won't be able to fulfill whatever pay back i need to give for even asking for help. or that i bothered them or stopped them from doing something they had been looking forward to.

and now whenever friends want to hang out or do something with me i panic and worry that "maybe they don't actually want to be around me. they'll probably get really upset that i agreed to come over if i agree." because so much of my old friendships just felt like they were always trying to trick me into being the bad guy and i had to be so careful with every last thing i did or said or agreed to do. and i know its mean to think my current friends will be like that, and i know they won't but that doesn't really stop the feeling.

like when people offer me food i get scared because i use to get yelled at a lot for taking other people's food. like it was offered to me but i was suppose to say "no thank you" and i didn't know that. and im still uncertain if im missing some well known social rule or not. in some ways im grateful for my food intolerances these days because now not many people can offer me food, which is a big weight off my shoulders.

but now im having so many problems with like staying friends with people. everything in me tells me i shouldn't still be talking with my friends or asking to hang out because why would anyone want to hang out with me after a year or two of knowing me (and im going on knowing some of my friends for like 8 years now!). i feel like i have an expiration date. im very mentally ill and im not great at hiding it, it just doesn't really show itself to well if you only know me for a little bit i think. and i feel like im tricking all my friends into hanging around this terrible awful person who can't think straight. they have a lot of patience for me and i wish i could change faster. i kinda understand my issue and sometimes when im starting to worry im doing something that will make them angry with me later im able to talk my brain down. but sometimes i don't realize its happening and i just believe everything going through my mind as facts. it sounds so stupid to say all this and i know i am being stupid... but... idk i guess im too stupid to stop it and i think it makes me sound very rude to my friends.

but its not because i actually think they will be mean to me if i don't preform correctly, i don't even really have to preform in front of them... but its like... what if i actually fuck up this really good friendship? what if i do something that really upsets these good people? and so i try to push them away when im having very bad mental health times because i don't want to be a burden on them. but thats probably not very nice of me to do either...

its just very hard to not view myself as like.... ah this is going to sound kinky but as like an object of pleasure. and i don't want to lose my usefulness or else i might as well get thrown away. besides entertainment i don't really provide much else, im not skilled in anything. if there is something i do another friend they have probably does it better. and i start feeling like i should remove myself from their life because i start making myself feel like a piece of trash left in a coat pocket that should've been dumped years ago.

everyone is always telling me "you don't view others like that, so why do you view yourself like that?" and no one ever likes my answer that i actually believe myself to be sub-human. and disagree with me really isn't going to change that unfortunately, i have tried to think of myself as equal to any of my friends and it starts making me panic. i don't know why. but i have tried i really have and i don't think just changing my mindset is the first step of me. but i don't know what is (and im not suggesting my friends try and figure this out for me, i know its something i have to do alone)...

but this is making it so hard to be around friends, because i feel like i need to be offering them a service when i am with them. but lately work has me drained, im tired and exhausted, im struggling with writing and speaking clearly, my anxiety is so high. i just can't offer good service at the moment, or i can't think to offer it because im really bad at knowing when someone needs help. i always need them to ask me clearly for help or i won't understand and won't do it. and i don't want to accidentally hurt them, so i just try to shell up until its over but its been so long and im still in a bad mental mood. and my friends are asking to hang out but i dont want them to see me like this because its mean to them to be like this when they are so good.

and this is awful to admit but i like it best when my friends kinda force me to hang out with them. or give me no option but to be with them. i dont know why but it just makes it easier to loosen up a little and accept that they actually like me and want me to be around not just because i give them pleasure but because i am me. but thats so weird to ask friends to do...

ugh i just want to sustain these friends but i don't know how! i never learned how to keep up friendship! sometimes i wish i could just move somewhere else so i can stop worrying over it all and start over just like usual

[the-firebird69]

It took over Genesis automobile and we're setting it up now to work the Ford and was sitting forward up too if they don't accept our cars that aren't they need to accept after this last few batches come out the upper Midwest does not hold that many compared to the Midwest like comparison is 10% of what was in the Midwest and 5% of it's gone now the final third is going out now 20% of it is out and we're bringing out lots at about 20% each time and they go out every few days and then it'll be gone then it's on your by our cars or you don't buy any a lot of people are going to go out of business cuz they're stupid snobs and they don't even know what a real car is your car are crumbling pieces of tin these are real cars and a lot of you want revenge by using our stuff and so forth and it's a little weird cuz your people are still making some of them and they still will be our version we don't know what to say you're a bunch of people who are so stupid and at times it hurts just to listen to you it's going to hurt very badly this time around cuz you're not going to put up with it this is the second 20% of the final third is coming out today at the end of the day so go up to 40% of the final third and it's a large amount of automobiles and trucks and pick up trucks car and boats and motorcycles dirt bikes what's a demand is it's not enough and really it's only out of the upper Midwest and Midwest it's probably each 20% is really 5% of what the total was so therefore there are three more 5% in the Midwest and one more in the upper Midwest totaling only 20% of what the total was and it's a lot but it's not that much all over the world is pretty much the same percentages going out and it's roughly about half of what you need at this time we have tons of cars and trucks built and if you don't buy any we will and we're prepared to do that and everyone else will start buying them as a matter of fact we will plan to just do that cuz you're such crap ass bastards and you want to roll over and let your retard win which might be impossible by the way and he may have missed tons of stuff by the way

Other than that I'm happy with my statement we have that 5% of the total coming out of the Midwest now and there's only four more of those and reach 20% which is what's left so after this two or three days will release another 5%, and so on that's for some reason you decide you need to drive and do business and work it hasn't happened yet

Hera

Zues

So trying to see it and really I said strange is my words the last three but really it is because the clones are trained to do it you guys are not responding well I think everyone hates you and all the stuff and the clothes don't care cuz they're doing it on purpose

Thor Freya

You need an economy even for a couple months because you're probably end up defeating Tommy f and you more luck don't really care about it at all but everybody else should to delete Tommy f you need to have transportation and other things like food and equipment but to get that you need to have transportation and you may want to try and do that this is really ugly already what people are doing and we are producing vehicles and they'll be out here and really this is still doing what they're doing this idiots don't know what they're doing they're working for Tommy f and he does not have a parallel that matches anything that's not really the concern the concern is how you going to get around

Now that 20% that will remain because it's four or 5% roughly what it is is going to be something to get out of there and that's the holdup go hold up is these idiots won't release it won't sell it it won't take it with them and they're sitting on it because they made robots or something you want the robots to drive in now it's a nuisance but for regular citizens it's damned upsetting I bet and those citizens should get mad that Tommy F and these retards are holding their future up completely all this burden is put on me and I'm supposed to get pissed off for everybody else and not much happens if you want your goddamn idiots to do something different have him do something different if you have time you have to shut them up and go shut Tommy off up

Zues Hera

We're so tired of hearing from you Tommy Ellen you little stuffed your head up your ass where it was a minute ago they're taking your business is over regardless cuz you don't care

Hera

We are working and we're going to get it done but here what you're saying get out of bed do the job somedays every day is drudgery but really this needs to get done and there's a lot of people that have to work and start working and see the dust stuff cuz now it's having an effect I'm going to keep doing it we like what we're hearing and we're getting out of bed and this is the way to do it too

Mac

I'm making progress and we're going to make more and it's working we have ideas that are working and we're going to use them these stinkers just have to go to hell they're stupid I'm going to make sure they do they're going to get out of the way now

Wie

Olympus

[timey-wimey-doctor-woctor-stuff]

The Last Of His Kind (Tenth Doctor X Gallifreyan Reader)

Hi again, it me, your local trans mess, how are you? You better be okay because I'm sending good vibes to you and you can't stop them.

Also, I wrote this one is 1st person haha, I used to write this way all the time so it should be a bit better :D

And a daily reminder, you are loved, even if you think you aren't. There is always someone there for you, and you aren't a burden, so don't be afraid to just message them or talk to them, because the chances are they'll listen. And if they don't, then I'm here! I know I'm a random stranger on the net, but I just want you all to be happy, which is one reason why I write these. But, please, if you ever need to talk, please do it. Bottling emotions only makes things worse. I learnt that the hard way.

I used to think that I was the only one. I used to think that everyone else had died, and I was prepared for a lifetime of loneliness, it didn't bother me at all.

So why was I so upset?

Maybe this regeneration was more emotional. I was also running on barely any sleep, so that might've contributed to it, but I'd never been like this before. I let a sigh escape my lips, and then I stepped outside, not expecting what came next.

I had, luckily, landed on Earth. That was good. That was always good. I was expecting the weird looks, after all, I was dressed in my previous regeneration's clothes, and I probably looked a mess as well, so the weird looks were normal.

I hadn't expected to be dragged inside by some random woman though. And who the hell was this doctor she was talking about? I had no idea. Ah well. At least she let me make my way into the kitchen. Kitchens were good. Kitchens meant food, and food meant that I could eat my sorrows away, and- oh dear, I'm crying.

I continued to slowly eat a coconut, ignoring the Woman's protests. Well, if I wanted to eat a whole coconut, shell included, I was going to eat it.

"What even is your name?" I asked, looking at her curiously. She stared at me, before shaking her head.

"I'm Rose. Rose Tyler." She answered my question, at least, before squinting. "But who are you?" She flipped the question, and raised her eyebrows.

"Me? Oh. I'm not really sure. New face, and all that. Last time I checked I was a guy. Am I a man? Or a woman?" I frowned, taken aback. "You got a mirror?" I jumped up, shaking, before falling back down. "Ugh. Regeneration sickness. Not nice. You're a lucky human." I glared at the ceiling, and then I realised that someone was coming through the front door, and- something felt...familiar.

A man came skidding around the corner, and he looked at Rose, then me, then Rose, and then me again. Then it seemed to hit him, and he gasped, obviously shocked. "No way." He mumbled, rushing over. "No...it's impossible." He stared at me, and I frowned, not even noticing.

My thoughts were being plagued by how alone I was again, and that brought a fresh wave of tears. The man yelped, startled by my outburst of emotions.

"Doctor?" Rose called softly. The man, who I guessed was called Doctor, looked up, something unreadable in his brown eyes. "Doctor, are they...?" She trailed off, leaving me confused, but Doctor nodded. Wait. Would it be Doctor, or The Doctor? Was Doctor a title? Or was it his name? I, once again, had no idea.

"Yeah." He confirmed whatever suspicions Rose had. He turned to face at me. "You're a Gallifreyan." He stated, earning a nod from me. He gasped, and next thing I know I'm engulfed in his arms. It was a familiar feeling, though, and I returned the hug. "What about your name? Your real one." He asked quietly, and I whispered it, which caused him to jump back. "I know you! I actually know you!" I blinked owlishly. What on earth?

"Okay, as intriguing as this all is, I'm rather tired and regeneration sickness isn't nice, and I want to sleep." I grumbled, trying to stand on unsure legs.

"Uh, careful." Rose frowned, trying to figure out what was going on. "So, Doctor, you're saying that they're a Gallifreyan?" She asked. The Doctor nodded. I had come to the conclusion that it was a title. Nobody would just be called Doctor. No way. "So you're not alone? You're not the last one?" Rose smiled at him, and he nodded once again.

I chose that moment to pass out.

~

I awoke to find that the Doctor was sat on a chair beside me. Rose was nowhere to be seen. But...I felt a lot better. I jumped up, and The Doctor looked at me, and there was something in his brown eyes that was oh so familiar, and- oh. Oh. Now I knew why...now I knew why he had been so shocked.

He was Gallifreyan too. Like me. "What's your name?" I asked, quietly, edging closer to him. He smiled, and told me. "Wait. You're...oh my god. It's been too long, Doctor." I knew him. I knew him from all those years ago on Gallifrey, before the war, and I knew him! We had fought together, we had even travelled together for a while, and then I went missing and he must have thought I was dead, and I thought he was dead, and we both thought we were alone, and oh my god!

I was unable to stop myself from diving forwards and wrapping him in my arms. I missed him. I missed him so, so, much. I didn't even realise that teas were streaming down my face until he gently pushed me away, and carefully wiped them away, his touch so gentle that I almost didn't feel it. But I did. Once he had wiped the tears away I hugged him again, never wanting to let go. I couldn't lose him, not again.

"What regeneration?" He asked, and I laughed quietly, and he grinned slightly. "Oh come on, what regeneration are you on? This is my tenth."

"I'm on my fifteenth." I shook my head, amused. He raised his eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes. "I never seem to get any less clumsy, alright? I still trip over air. How have you been, anyway? I haven't seen you in so long, Doctor." I watched him, and he shook his head.

"Forget that. It doesn't matter. I'm just glad that I found you again." His hands were in my cheeks again, and I assumed that this regeneration of him was more...affectionate. I wasn't objecting. "We've got so much to catch up on." He leant down, pressing his lips to my forehead in the quickest of kisses, and then he was off, darting down the stairs, and I followed him downstairs, into the Tardis.

And that was the start of a long day of storytelling.