#or think of creative workaround to something traumatic

[crowbarsolo]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

So kind of you to ask, lovely stranger! I hope I don’t give you reason to regret it, since most of my fics are a bit fucky (my favourites certainly are). Not for minors and people sensitive to horror imagery, dark humour, gore and British spelling.

Field Trip

Doflamingo takes his family on a field trip to teach them the difference between mass murder and genocide. This is basically my “Doflamingo manifesto.” Dark comedy with a strong undercurrent of angst as Doflamingo gleefully traumatizes and corrupts his adoptive children out of misguided benevolence. Gen, T rating, 3500 words.

Every Girl’s Dream

Robin tells Crocodile about her childhood dream of swimming with the mermaids, which is no longer possible since she ate her devil fruit. Crocodile tries to find a workaround. Superficially a dark comedy, though ultimately about Robin’s and Crocodile’s depression and failed attempts to understand each other. I was trying to channel James Bond and Wooster & Jeeves for the humour in this one, and I’m happy with how it turned out. F/M, M rating (for gore), 4488 words.

The Conversation Piece

After a fight, Crocodile asks Doflamingo to leave him with a string clone that he can use for target practice. Shortly afterwards, Doflamingo is captured and executed. In Crocodile’s dining room, the puppet’s limbs grow longer.

This is a ghost story about a loveless person learning how to mourn. It’s more sad than scary, I think, though your mileage may vary. It got me out of a creative rut, so I think of it fondly. M/M, Not Rated (probably T or M for mild sexual content, horror and violence), 4265 words.

Regicidal Tendencies

Shortly after Doflamingo’s ascension to the throne of Dressrosa, Crocodile blackmails him into entering his service for one night. Dark smut with non-consensual BDSM elements and a victim who has more control over the situation than initially appears. It encapsulates my thoughts about how I think a romantic or sexual relationship between them would go (badly, but in an interesting manner) and I like it for that reason. M/M, E rating, dead dove-adjacent (for violence, gore and consent issues). A bit sad, too, like everything I write. 4962 words.

The Pilgrimage

After an accident, the Polar Tang is stranded in the abyss. Penguin sees strange lights flickering in the distance. His crewmates begin to act strangely, and he becomes convinced they are hiding something from him. Cosmic horror channeling claustrophobia and the unknown nature of the abyss; I am happy with the horror creation in this one for being both original and on-brand for One Piece. Gen, Not Rated but probably T (for cannibalism and horror imagery), 7252 words.

[bluerosesburnblue]

You know what it’s always a good time for?

Dwyn Sibling Angst

(This one’s a big one so I’m putting the explanation under the cut)

So who remembers the Patronus sidequest?

Way, way back when I posted that first ever bio of Jacob and Seren I made brief mention of Patronuses, namely what theirs would be and the fact that Seren would not be able to cast it unless Jacob was found alive. I later made brief mention that I’d finalized the Patronuses to a Sea Lion for Jacob and a Common Seal for Seren, but I never actually elaborated on why Seren would have trouble with the spell

That’s because I started this stupid, elaborate project back when the quest came out and just never finished it, so here we go. Let’s finally talk about Seren’s Patronus issues

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I have this tendency when applying sidequests to Seren to just make up my own timeline that’s completely divorced from both what year the quest claims it takes place in and what year I actually ended up playing it in. In the case of Unleash Your Patronus, I actually do put it in Year 4 like the game suggests and not Year 5 when I played it

The Patronus Charm, as far as we know, has three requirements: strong magical skill, a “worthy” heart, and the ability to muster up and sustain a happy memory

Pass, pass, hard fail

Seren is not a happy person. I wouldn’t even say she’s a positive person. If it looks like she’s being positive, it is almost always performative to try and ease someone else’s nerves. This girl is a giant ball of nerves that gets angstier and more traumatized every year and she cannot shut her emotions off. Not that she can’t be happy, she can, but it’s far from her default state since the anxiety tends to run through worst case scenarios all the time

Complicating things is that her happiest memories are all things involving Jacob, who is decidedly not there. The reason I set this in Year 4 is because we don’t even have the Forest Vault message that he’s in the next Vault yet. He could legitimately be dead for all anyone knows in Year 4. So positive memories are of Jacob which, oops, reminds her that he’s still gone. Which then triggers the worst case scenario machine that is her brain

So, alright, let’s assume that Seren manages to shove that down. She’s just focusing on the memory, maybe even repeating “I’m gonna find him and we’re gonna do that thing from our childhoods again” to keep from getting distracted. Cue the actual form of Seren’s Patronus

I picked the Common Seal and Sea Lion for the Dwyns for a variety of reasons. I was already giving them the same Animagus form, figured I’d switch it up for the Patronuses. Make them “related” and symbolizing similar things, but not the same (also reference that merperson heritage). I’ve also always been a fan of the idea that sometimes particularly strong memories can shape the Patronus thanks to the fact that sometimes people with an obsession with an animal have their Patronuses take that form, and then there’s this quote:

"[...] the Patronus often mutates to take the image of the love of one's life (because they so often become the 'happy thought' that generates a Patronus)."

And now we have the earliest memory Seren has. She’s three years old and Jacob’s eight. They go to the aquarium. It’s one of the few times they’ve ever gone out somewhere as a family and she’s just completely enamored with the whole thing. She really falls in love with how cute and graceful the seals are, to the point where she spends part of the trip after they’ve moved closer to the gift shop camped out with the seal plushies just... looking at ‘em. Jacob notices and convinces their parents to buy her one. It’s her absolute favorite toy as a kid, and one of the few things she brings to Hogwarts every year, without fail

It’s not a memory she thinks of much. It wasn’t even the memory she was using to call forth her Patronus, despite being her first happy memory. And yet, there it is, played out in front of her in a brilliant light show. This time, though, Jacob isn’t there. Fighting down the instinct to whirl around and show it to him is just another reminder that he hasn’t been found yet and may never be and what if he isn’t-

-and it’s gone.

So even if Seren manages to fight through her natural tendency to make everything worse in her head, what her Patronus looks like will just send her spiraling right back into it. And once she sees it the first time - that’s it. Now she knows what her Patronus is and dreads seeing it again so much that she can’t focus on anything else when casting it. A dread that’s strong enough that she wouldn’t be able to muster up even an incorporeal Patronus

That’s why she just can’t cast a Patronus unless Jacob’s found alive, and mentally sound, and noooooot evil

If the Vault situation isn’t resolved with a happy ending, that’s all permanent. Jacob’s evil, Jacob dies, whatever, that’s an automatic no Patronus at all. If that incident from Year 6 Chapter 18 is real and permanent but Jacob’s fine, that gives her the most inconsistent incorporeal Patronus at best and the only reason it can manifest at all is because it’s form has no ties to the spoiler character so the dread factor is gone

The best timeline will probably result in Seren being able to cast an incorporeal Patronus consistently, a corporeal Patronus fairly consistently in low-pressure scenarios, and managing to find a workaround regarding a corporeal Patronus by having Jacob just send his most terrible jokes at her via Legilimency in high-pressure situations. Even in the best case scenario, she still struggles with maintaining positivity and is riding solely on her support network

I let her become an Animagus at age 15, I had to give her some weaknesses. (Relatedly, she also struggles with Riddikulus and can only perform it consistently due to intense practice thanks to the Vault of Fear)

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Furthermore, Jacob and Seren’s Patronuses are what they are because:

Seals and Sea Lions tend to get shoved together when searching for symbolism. A Patronus represents the “hidden inner self” that is called forth in times of need. So then I have to come up with something that can represent both Jacob and Seren, but being just different enough to represent the nuances between their personalities.

Common traits associated with them are playfulness (more overt with Jacob, but Seren is still mischievous and can be goofy), creativity/big imagination (extremely applicable to both of them), adaptability (which goes hand-in-hand with their creative aspects), faith (normally self-faith. Seren lacks it so perhaps this symbolizes what she needs to develop. Both have faith in others), independence, and balance (with the two finding balance with each other, losing it, then regaining it later in life)

To separate them I looked at behavior. Seren gets the Common Seal due to their quiet nature and tendency to remain largely solitary. The introverted one

Jacob gets the Sea Lion because they’re LOUD and DON’T EVER STOP BEING LOUD and prefer being in larger groups. The (somewhat more) extroverted one

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Finally, here’s the still .png for the key frame in the .gif with the Patronus in it because I liked it a lot

And there it is. The big Patronus explanation writeup. I’m so glad it’s done

I started this damn thing after I finished the Patronus quest. Like, the day after or even the day of. And then I stopped for some reason! And then a few months ago I was like “hey, that was almost done and Dementors are coming back into the story, why not finish it?” Didn’t get it done in time for that update. And then that update was Year 6 Chapter 18 and I lost all motivation I had

So here! Fine! Happy one year and one day anniversary of when the Patronus sidequest came out!

Now please take this thing out of my sight

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X16 Dark Side of the Moon

KITTY IS SNUGGLING MY INJURED FOOT

BABY

oo samulet time

gun being pointed at them...?

DEAN KNOWS THEM?

ah hunters

I keep forgetting they started the apocalypse

...sam got shot?

ooo they're getting street cred "knowing Dean Winchester's on our ass" nicenice

"when I come back" ope

is that fucking knocking on heaven's door

oh OH IT'S HEAVEN SCENES

OH DEAN'S HEAVEN IS HIM AND HIS BROTHER AND THE FUCKING FIREWORKS

AND TAKING CARE OF HIS LITTLE BROTHER

aw baby Sam looks so happy

fuck me

oh the PTSD got to him

HE"S THE RADIO!

CAS THE RADIO!!!

oh he thinks he's dreaming at first ouch

"I'm dead" "condolences" CAS OH MY GOD

"how am i in heaven" ouch

oh the SKYYY IS SO COOL

boy them being the same age but being placed in their younger selves is Unsettling sometimes

why do yall hate sam so much oh my god

they're so confused

they're BOTH "you I get but me" OH MY GOD

Dean stop covering up your feelings

"we had thanksgiving every year" aw Dean

"I can't return to heaven" cAS? THAT FEELS IMPORTANT?

the two road asphalt road that leads you to Eden is so fucking cool though

either god doesn't want to be found, or heaven doesn't want to be leaved

this is NEAT

oh god and Dean being the only one of the two that remember home

"It wasn't perfect till after she died" oh my GOD

He mythologized mary oh my GOD I HATE THIS

DEAN WAS LIKE THREE OR FOUR

AND HE COMFORTS HIS GODDAMN MOM I HATE THIS

"how long you've been cleaning up dad's messes" OUCHHH

oo and they have to find the road

Dean's are all tinged with regret and responsibility

and Sam's are escape

the half smile and the implied "dad beat me up" jesus CHRIST

nooo I LOVE BONES

oh Sam tried to not think about it

"night you ditched us for stanford" oh dear lord

and Sam got...none of the fun family stuff

estranged fucking siblings oh this HURTS ME

~running from an angel. on foot. in heaven.~ LMAOOO

listen he's fun when he's smug smug villains are fun

AS H!

OH M Y GOD IT'S THE GODDAMN ROADHOUSE

ah everyone's heaven, o that's kinda neat tho

"disneyland but without all the antisemitism" AHAHA

soulmates...why was that awkward

he's just vibing in other people's heaven's i love this

anD HE'S FLUENT IN ENOCHIAN

again

"you boys die more than anyone I've ever met" oh my FUCKING CHRIST I LOVE THAT

Ellen and Jo :(

PAMELA!

*smacks him for getting her killed*

"we got ash killed too" "I'm cool with it" "he's cool with it" oh my god

heh Pamela's having fun in Heaven too

HEAVEN'S LONELY! IT'S NICE BUT IT'S LONELY

DEAN's FUCKING CONFUSED STARE WAS SO FUNNY THOUGH

he's so shook it's very funny

"I'm sure I'll see you again soon" AHAHA

ah yes the wink I see you've composed yourself

"I never loved you" oh jesus

that's the thing he's sensitive about

huh that sounds like something Sam would say huh :(

"everybody leaves you Dean" oh you BET he's noticed

this is very strange

"she's quite the milf" what the hell

what the Hell

I appreciate how he got assigned the winchesters and he fucking failed

in your defense, they're very stubborn

"he may be strong ... but I'm petty" LMAO

ah the garden

sup joshua

"cleveland botanical gardens"

AW A FIELD TRIP

"he knows, he doesn't think it's his problem" uh

...you can't find god

yep God's a deadbeat

...so Sam's the main character? guys...guys give him dialogue oh my god

"I'm rooting for you but I can't help"

this time you have to remember

boy that is a lot of beer

oh good now Cas gets to be existential too!

instantly "you son of a bitch"

here dean take ur amulet back

Sam tries the pep talk

it's a tough crowd

OH NOO THE SAMULET

wrap up

1. Sam. Sam's heaven is escaping, getting away from an overbearing family. I think he doesn't have a good sense of self because he hasn't been allowed to develop one, really, and he wants it. Also that makes him hard to make a main character, but that means the writers don't like him

how the fuck did you set up a main character and then hate him because you're projecting on your secondary protagonist so hard, how did you do that

HE'S THE ANTICHRIST HOW DID YOU-

2. Dean. ok. So. Dean's things centered around family, but importantly, they were all bittersweet. "dad would never let us" "dad still loves you" Dean has Very Severe Daddy Issues, as we know, and it's clear that they're everywhere. But due to the responsibility, it was a lot better when they lived in a stable goddamn house, so I think that's what he ended up mythologizing. also very clear abandonment issues, as he got blamed for everything due to stepping up as the oldest both in an absent dad, and dead mom scenario. as little of a personality that Sam was allowed to develop, Dean is still in this kind of panicked survival mode, and he really has no idea what the fuck he's doing. or so I think. he hates himself because he made himself to be what others wanted/needed.

I can't believe that implied abuse line was this early and they still tried to martyr John like...

3. Ash! Pamela! I liked that Ash keeps greeting the winchesters, I love Pamela being there, i liked the whole like...they vibe in heaven, but Ash, with knowing Heaven stuff and Smart Person stuff and hunter stuff, figured out how to jump, i love everyone's little slice of heaven. Listen, recognizing recurring characters is nice

4. THE VIBE. Ok...asphalt road to the garden. Several different heavens? the angels having complete dominion and them basically quietly fighting over it? Cas only being able to talk either on radio or TV because he's a wavelength? GOOD SHIT

HELL EVEN THE GARDEN BEING WHATEVER THE PERSON THINKS IT IS IS COOL

5. Needledrop: this one was so fun. knocking on heaven's door to introduce the fact that they're now in heaven. I thought that was fun.

6. Cas/faith. Like...God as an explicit Deadbeat, as the "it's not my problem, Dean sympathizing with Cas because of it, throwing away the amulet at the end.

Dean's the faithless man and Cas is the angel, but they have no more faith anymore. They have been disappointed once again, and it's Pretty Big, and bringing yourself up is hard.

also this episode had some genuinely funny moments