#otayuriangst

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Weep, Little Lion Man (You’re not as brave as you were at the start) 

- 

Otabek immediately regrets his decision. He knew he was going to, and he knows that it’s still the right choice. That doesn’t make it any easier.

Yuri is one person. There are a thousand and more waiting for his return. A king has a duty to his people first, and to himself second. If he’s learnt anything travelling, it’s that. And he will not make the same mistake as all of his ancestors. This is a beginning, not an end; he’s forging new footsteps, proving that he is willing to make sacrifices to lead the way he’s chosen to. Acting for personal interest, whether it be for love, or pride, or simple greed, has only ever started wars. Otabek has committed himself to finishing one. There will be no more instability. No more fear. Even if he has to do it alone.

Otabek watches the dark edge of the forest anyway, even as he tells himself this. Perhaps he’s expecting something other than an unwavering shadow. But there is nothing.

He turns back to his tent.

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(Sorry it’s early, I thought it was Saturday. It’s not. It’s Friday. But I’ve had four hours of sleep and actually TECHNICALLY it’s now 1am on Saturday.)

(Somebody save me from myself. Please.) 

-

“Thank God. Talking about how attractive my brother is was kinda gross.”

Yuri huffs, moving to collect his arrows from the tree.

“Tell me about it. Honestly I don’t see what Victor’s appeal is, but good luck getting his fiancé to shut up about it.”

“Ugh,” Roza mock-shudders. “Please promise you will never do that to me.”

“I think you’re safe,” Yuri says, trying not to remember Otabek comparing him to Victor the day before. He’s not that much of a sap, goddammit. “The only person who needs to hear how gorgeous Beka is is Beka.”

He turns around to find Roza staring at him, expression indeterminable.

“What?”

“I think… I should tell you something.”

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He hadn’t even noticed it until now, but all day, Yuri’s behaviour has been off. Ever since the bond was established. It’s not a wholly pleasant thought, and evidently it’s potent enough for Yuri to notice, because he pulls away.

“What was that?” He’s slightly breathless, unsurprisingly.

Beka stares shamelessly; at the way his eyes look almost blue from this angle, with the snow reflecting in them; the tiniest dusting of freckles that the sun has brought out across his nose, so slight that they’re barely even visible; the few strands of his hair, so light and soft, just slipping out from being tucked behind his ear, something he has only started doing now that it’s grown past his shoulders; the way his mouth is pink and wet where Beka had kissed him; the incredible balance of beauty and brutality that he contains in every ounce of himself.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Otabek says, truthfully.

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The angst begins (sorry not sorry)

-

It’s the first time Yuri has kissed him in front of Roza.

“Otabek Altin!” She yells, from the campfire, “You disgust me!”

Beka refrains from pointing out that he didn’t technically start it. Nothing, however, can stop him from grinning at Yuri as he slips away, and saying;

“Now that sounds familiar.”

Yuri gapes.

“You did NOT just compare me to Victor.”