#other than that i havent had a drink in like 6 months and havent smoked weed for about that same amount of time so. cool
Text
just spent like an hour scrolling my own blog bc i havent been on here in a while and i forgot what ive posted on here and wow. the only information a stranger would be able to glean from this blog about me is that i love my bf, i have weird and upsetting food habits, and i used to have a drinking problem
#sooo many 'im drunk' posts. god#i had the tiniest glass of wine with dinner last night bc me and josh went all out and made pasta with lots of veggies and garlic bread#and it just felt right#but i was literally gagging the whole time bc the wine tasted gross and strong#other than that i havent had a drink in like 6 months and havent smoked weed for about that same amount of time so. cool#sobriety is cool i guess but honestly dont feel like its helped my mental state much. still sad still anxious still girlrotting etc.#but at least im not Inebriated in some form or another 90% of my day#which is. nice. i guess. i feel more clear at least.#still have problems but i can cross that off my list
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let us have delayed fun!
title: Let Us Have Delayed Fun
pairing: Jensen x reader
fluff 2020 sq: delayed flights
kink 2020 sq: masturbation
rating: 18+
tags: heavy flirtation, some dirty dancing type thing, discreet sexual acts in public, guy fingering girl discreetly on the dancefloor in crowd of people, guy fingering girl in a crowded elevator
summery: not telling
created for @spnfluffbingo @spnkinkbingo
fluff 2020 masterlist part 1 kink 2020 masterlist
it hadnt been very long, actually but an hour since you both had set eyes on eachother. departing at the security gate you both went to wait for your respected flights home but after an hour a storm warning delayed all the outgoing flights.
you both took your luggage and had the same idea, give the attendants your phone numbers to be alerted when the flights are ready to leave again, head to the nearest hotel and drink/dance the hours away…
this hotel just happened to be the same damn hotel (hyatt regency orlando international airport hotel) for it was just outside the hotel that you heard your name being called.
Jensen: “YN… YN wait up!”
you turned around to be face to face once more with Jensen… it was torture but it was better than being alone…
Jensen: “thank goodness i caught up to you… i have been screaming your name for the entire walk from the desk in the airport to here…”
YN: “sorry i had ear buds in… let me guess your flight got delayed too..?”
jensen: “yes it did, how bout to save money we share a room… it would be a whole hell of a lot less boring…”
YN: “why not but we need to go dancing, i am gonna go stir crazy if i dont fall to a beat…”
Jensen: “it will happen, but first i think we need to get into something hot and sexy to blend in at the club…”
you nod as Jensen with his suitcase comes beside you and your suitcase both of you walking into the hotel.
desk personal: “can i help you?”
Jensen: “yes we would like to check in, our flights got delayed…”
Desk personal: “i will need a name to charge the room under as well a card to charge it too…”
Jensen with his dashing smile pulled out his wallet and took out one of his cards.
Jensen: “name is Jensen Ackles. and ill charge this to Visa please. and make sure the room is non smoking with a balcony.”
Desk Personal: “of course mr Ackles. please tap when your ready and one of you will need to sign this agreement its just a standard agreement saying you wont destroy the rooms or anything like that…”
You looked at Jensen and then you took the pen and signed the paper…
YN: “we are just smart enough to wait somewhere comfortable till this storm passes… however long it takes… we dont care…”
Desk personal: “ah yes well storms usually last about 2-3 days depending on the level of the storm. it will be a while so yes you both are very smart in waiting someplace comfortable. now here is your room key you are in room 405 enjoy your stay and welcome to the Hyatt regency Orlando international airport hotel.”
you take the room key and shove it in the corner of your bra so you can take your suitcase in one hand while Jensen take your hand with his free hand. he keeps eyeing you, like he wants to jump you right then right there.
Jensen: “you know if you wear something with easy access you and i will have some fun on the dancefloor. some very heated decreet fun..”
he flashed you another one of his charming smiles. this made your knees feel week. both of you got into the elevator pushing the button to go to the floor to go to your room.
YN: “there is a club down the road calld Noches Azul, i hear its a popular and amazing place for those who like to move with the beat of their own drum.”
Jensen: “then we shall dress to the appropriate color too… ladies first.”
he says as the elevator doors opened. you walked out first and started down the hall slowly till Jensen stepped off the elevator then it was fair game you turned and blew him a kiss before taking off down the hall.
Jensen dropped his luggage beside yours in front of your door and pursured you, when he caught you he picked you up bridal style before reaching in to grab the key card out of your bra with his teeth.
then using your free hand you slid it in the door Jensen used his elbow to push the door open. he carried you placing you on the bed placing ferverous kisses all over your body.
this continued for several moments before you both pulled back and smiled.
YN: “if we dont get off of this bed we wont make it dancing… we want to have some discreet fun dont we?”
Jensen groaned at you, but of course he knew you were right…
Jensen: “your right. so what are you wearing tonight?”
YN: “stay right here and ill show you…”
you go into the other room away from Jensen’s view and you put on the little blue dress you had found at the airport. it just happened to fit the bill… once the dress was on you put all your stuff nice-ishly back where it was.
YN: “Jensen play Sexy Back… i want to see your reaction to me in this dress with this song.”
you listen for the start of the song, it starts and you wait for the bridge, where you begin to move slowly then you began to move into view along the wall when the chorus started.
as you continued to move your body on the corner of the wall you watched Jensen’s eyes not leave your form. you could see the lust in his eye, you could see the way his lips curled and the way he licked his lips. it turned you on so bad.
Jensen: “when did you pick this little number up?”
YN: “at the airport after i passed security, i went to grab a snack and came out with this dress. what do you think?”
Jensen: “i love it, it is exactly what will help this night to go smoothly. as well as it just looks smashing on you.”
Jensen had already stopped the song, you continued to stand against the wall, but Jensen figured he had to find something hot for himself to wear. you waited paitently for him to come back wearing the navy shirt along with some Jeans.
you let out a whistle for that shirt brought out his features very well. you had your leather jacket on the couch near by, Jensen had his in hand as well, you handed him your id to keep in his wallet along with the key card.
in moments you were off walking through the small area to the club. where you both would dance and dance till your hearts content or till you both felt so hot and heavy that it would be beneficial if you were anywhere but there.
arriving you both showd your id and were let inside. you both checked your jackets and Jensen stuck the check stubs in his wallet. you both went straight to the dance floor. you were glued to Jensen like a dirty shirt.
no one would dare to mess with either of you. finding a nice darkish spot on the dancefloor private enough for some “secret” fun.
both of you now taking part in the music, the beat coursing through your forms, your shared forms blending not missing a single beat no one around you paid any attention.
under the dimest spotlight there was, you and Jensen now stood making yourselves as comfortable as could be. the beat taking over, the feeling of Jensen’s hands roaming your body, this made your pussy very very wet.
Jensen(whispering in your ear): “grind my fingers baby keep dancing.”
you did as commanded, you were so wet and had orgasmed 5 times by the time the song was done. thats when Jensen pulled his fingers back again before you could orgasm again, he once more leaned down to whisper.
Jensen (whispering): “squirt for me baby!”
Jensen once more dipped his fingers hard into your soaking wet pussy. the silent moans, the rest of the club clueless as fuck and the feeling of Jensen’s fingers diving deeper and deeper into your pussy.
your body kept moving trying to contain any signs that you were discreetly being masturbated by a man you have only known for a month. this was your normal, this felt right in more ways than one.
Jensen had been there for you from the first day you met him. till now you had been completely alone, no man had entered your life long enough to even have your first kiss, long enough to ever make it as far as you had with Jensen. to be feeling these feelings made you wonder if he felt it to.
truth was he was completely feeling the same thing you were this was how you first swiruted, this was the man you knew was to be your present as well as your future.
in that moment you didnt care, you knew eventually your flights would take you both home seperately and probably your paths would never cross again. but in this moment it felt like heaven on earth.
Jensen hit one sweet spot and you squirted, discreetly you and Jensen giggling and smiling walked out of that club as fast as possible remembering to grab your coats on the way out.
arriving outside the club and walking back to the hotel you both laughed, for it was to be destiny that would give you both the biggest surprise ever.
arriving back at the hotel you both stumble up to the room, shutting the door again ending up in eachothers arms on the bed, the clothes you guys had been wearing were now all over the floor, and both of you were now cuddled in bed having just done sex for what felt like the millionth time during this entire trip.
reality started to sink in when the phone calls came in 6 hours later, this was when it sunk in. both of you looked at the clock it read 3:30am this was the time that the delay was no more. this was when you were both disturbed to get up get repacked and get ready for your flights home.
Jensen: “ill never forget the time we spent together. i left you something in your suitcase. you will find it and know what it means when the time comes. i also took down your address and phone number ill be sending you little things to show you i havent forgotten.”
YN: “i feel the same way but once we leave here, why would you waste time on a non celeb like me. i mean sure maybe our friends set us up but we wont know that till we confront them. i should have said this sooner but before i get on this plane there is something you should know. i think i have fallen for you. but i know not what to think at this moment. i took down your number as well, please understand that i may not communicate right away but thats cause i have a best friend whose anxiously awaiting my return home.”
Jensen: “same here, but please let me know when you do arrive home. i would like to know you arrived safely.”
Jensen helped you once more by helping you with your bags as he walked by your side to the airport and up to the check in once more to get your updated tickets and then it was time to part once more in such sweet sorrow.
you and jensen let go of your bags and hugged it out once more before parting to your respected gates. but you whispered in his ear when you hugged him.
YN: “i will let you know when im back on home soil. i will always remember your touch.”
Jensen and you parted and went on your way. arriving home you sent Jensen a text.
YN (texting Jensen): “hey Jensen its YN. i am back on home soil and i already miss your embrace. i am heading to baggage to collect my luggage, then to meet my best friend in the lobby. home hasnt changed. let me know when you land and what your seeing too. ill look forward to being in more correspondance with you soon <3″
you grabbed your bag and went down the escalator straight into the arms of your best friend. you broke down as soon as you hit her embrace. she just stood there hugging you not caring that either of you were in public, you both stood there as you cried.
Beth: “what happened girl?”
YN: “long story short the trip was amazing, but i fear i have fallen in love with someone i might never seen again. i missed you.”
Beth: “come on lets get you out of here and back home.”
you both exited the airport and went back home. later when you were alone you looked at your phone and saw a messgae from jensen.
Jensen (via text): “hey beautiful i made it home to, i know how you feel, it feels weird to be home again. my best friend is waiting i just grabbed my luggage. i hope everything goes well. till we speak again. i miss you too <3″
that was the message that sent you into a suspended sleep your bestie crawled into bed after she was done her work. she didnt care that you were passed out. she was just happy that you were home.
Jensen had a similar greeting from his best friend and returned home to his large and half empty bed also falling into a suspended sleep all he could think about was you.
*to be continued*
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Let us have Delayed Fun
title: Let Us Have Delayed Fun
pairing: Jensen x reader
fluff 2020 sq: delayed flights
kink 2020 sq: masturbation
rating: 18+
tags: heavy flirtation, some dirty dancing type thing, discreet sexual acts in public, guy fingering girl discreetly on the dancefloor in crowd of people, guy fingering girl in a crowded elevator
summery: not telling
created for @spnfluffbingo @spnkinkbingo
fluff 2020 masterlist part 1 kink 2020 masterlist
it hadnt been very long, actually but an hour since you both had set eyes on eachother. departing at the security gate you both went to wait for your respected flights home but after an hour a storm warning delayed all the outgoing flights.
you both took your luggage and had the same idea, give the attendants your phone numbers to be alerted when the flights are ready to leave again, head to the nearest hotel and drink/dance the hours away…
this hotel just happened to be the same damn hotel (hyatt regency orlando international airport hotel) for it was just outside the hotel that you heard your name being called.
Jensen: “YN… YN wait up!”
you turned around to be face to face once more with Jensen… it was torture but it was better than being alone…
Jensen: “thank goodness i caught up to you… i have been screaming your name for the entire walk from the desk in the airport to here…”
YN: “sorry i had ear buds in… let me guess your flight got delayed too..?”
jensen: “yes it did, how bout to save money we share a room… it would be a whole hell of a lot less boring…”
YN: “why not but we need to go dancing, i am gonna go stir crazy if i dont fall to a beat…”
Jensen: “it will happen, but first i think we need to get into something hot and sexy to blend in at the club…”
you nod as Jensen with his suitcase comes beside you and your suitcase both of you walking into the hotel.
desk personal: “can i help you?”
Jensen: “yes we would like to check in, our flights got delayed…”
Desk personal: “i will need a name to charge the room under as well a card to charge it too…”
Jensen with his dashing smile pulled out his wallet and took out one of his cards.
Jensen: “name is Jensen Ackles. and ill charge this to Visa please. and make sure the room is non smoking with a balcony.”
Desk Personal: “of course mr Ackles. please tap when your ready and one of you will need to sign this agreement its just a standard agreement saying you wont destroy the rooms or anything like that…”
You looked at Jensen and then you took the pen and signed the paper…
YN: “we are just smart enough to wait somewhere comfortable till this storm passes… however long it takes… we dont care…”
Desk personal: “ah yes well storms usually last about 2-3 days depending on the level of the storm. it will be a while so yes you both are very smart in waiting someplace comfortable. now here is your room key you are in room 405 enjoy your stay and welcome to the Hyatt regency Orlando international airport hotel.”
you take the room key and shove it in the corner of your bra so you can take your suitcase in one hand while Jensen take your hand with his free hand. he keeps eyeing you, like he wants to jump you right then right there.
Jensen: “you know if you wear something with easy access you and i will have some fun on the dancefloor. some very heated decreet fun..”
he flashed you another one of his charming smiles. this made your knees feel week. both of you got into the elevator pushing the button to go to the floor to go to your room.
YN: “there is a club down the road calld Noches Azul, i hear its a popular and amazing place for those who like to move with the beat of their own drum.”
Jensen: “then we shall dress to the appropriate color too… ladies first.”
he says as the elevator doors opened. you walked out first and started down the hall slowly till Jensen stepped off the elevator then it was fair game you turned and blew him a kiss before taking off down the hall.
Jensen dropped his luggage beside yours in front of your door and pursured you, when he caught you he picked you up bridal style before reaching in to grab the key card out of your bra with his teeth.
then using your free hand you slid it in the door Jensen used his elbow to push the door open. he carried you placing you on the bed placing ferverous kisses all over your body.
this continued for several moments before you both pulled back and smiled.
YN: “if we dont get off of this bed we wont make it dancing… we want to have some discreet fun dont we?”
Jensen groaned at you, but of course he knew you were right…
Jensen: “your right. so what are you wearing tonight?”
YN: “stay right here and ill show you…”
you go into the other room away from Jensen’s view and you put on the little blue dress you had found at the airport. it just happened to fit the bill… once the dress was on you put all your stuff nice-ishly back where it was.
YN: “Jensen play Sexy Back… i want to see your reaction to me in this dress with this song.”
you listen for the start of the song, it starts and you wait for the bridge, where you begin to move slowly then you began to move into view along the wall when the chorus started.
as you continued to move your body on the corner of the wall you watched Jensen’s eyes not leave your form. you could see the lust in his eye, you could see the way his lips curled and the way he licked his lips. it turned you on so bad.
Jensen: “when did you pick this little number up?”
YN: “at the airport after i passed security, i went to grab a snack and came out with this dress. what do you think?”
Jensen: “i love it, it is exactly what will help this night to go smoothly. as well as it just looks smashing on you.”
Jensen had already stopped the song, you continued to stand against the wall, but Jensen figured he had to find something hot for himself to wear. you waited paitently for him to come back wearing the navy shirt along with some Jeans.
you let out a whistle for that shirt brought out his features very well. you had your leather jacket on the couch near by, Jensen had his in hand as well, you handed him your id to keep in his wallet along with the key card.
in moments you were off walking through the small area to the club. where you both would dance and dance till your hearts content or till you both felt so hot and heavy that it would be beneficial if you were anywhere but there.
arriving you both showd your id and were let inside. you both checked your jackets and Jensen stuck the check stubs in his wallet. you both went straight to the dance floor. you were glued to Jensen like a dirty shirt.
no one would dare to mess with either of you. finding a nice darkish spot on the dancefloor private enough for some “secret” fun.
both of you now taking part in the music, the beat coursing through your forms, your shared forms blending not missing a single beat no one around you paid any attention.
under the dimest spotlight there was, you and Jensen now stood making yourselves as comfortable as could be. the beat taking over, the feeling of Jensen’s hands roaming your body, this made your pussy very very wet.
Jensen(whispering in your ear): “grind my fingers baby keep dancing.”
you did as commanded, you were so wet and had orgasmed 5 times by the time the song was done. thats when Jensen pulled his fingers back again before you could orgasm again, he once more leaned down to whisper.
Jensen (whispering): “squirt for me baby!”
Jensen once more dipped his fingers hard into your soaking wet pussy. the silent moans, the rest of the club clueless as fuck and the feeling of Jensen’s fingers diving deeper and deeper into your pussy.
your body kept moving trying to contain any signs that you were discreetly being masturbated by a man you have only known for a month. this was your normal, this felt right in more ways than one.
Jensen had been there for you from the first day you met him. till now you had been completely alone, no man had entered your life long enough to even have your first kiss, long enough to ever make it as far as you had with Jensen. to be feeling these feelings made you wonder if he felt it to.
truth was he was completely feeling the same thing you were this was how you first swiruted, this was the man you knew was to be your present as well as your future.
in that moment you didnt care, you knew eventually your flights would take you both home seperately and probably your paths would never cross again. but in this moment it felt like heaven on earth.
Jensen hit one sweet spot and you squirted, discreetly you and Jensen giggling and smiling walked out of that club as fast as possible remembering to grab your coats on the way out.
arriving outside the club and walking back to the hotel you both laughed, for it was to be destiny that would give you both the biggest surprise ever.
arriving back at the hotel you both stumble up to the room, shutting the door again ending up in eachothers arms on the bed, the clothes you guys had been wearing were now all over the floor, and both of you were now cuddled in bed having just done sex for what felt like the millionth time during this entire trip.
reality started to sink in when the phone calls came in 6 hours later, this was when it sunk in. both of you looked at the clock it read 3:30am this was the time that the delay was no more. this was when you were both disturbed to get up get repacked and get ready for your flights home.
Jensen: “ill never forget the time we spent together. i left you something in your suitcase. you will find it and know what it means when the time comes. i also took down your address and phone number ill be sending you little things to show you i havent forgotten.”
YN: “i feel the same way but once we leave here, why would you waste time on a non celeb like me. i mean sure maybe our friends set us up but we wont know that till we confront them. i should have said this sooner but before i get on this plane there is something you should know. i think i have fallen for you. but i know not what to think at this moment. i took down your number as well, please understand that i may not communicate right away but thats cause i have a best friend whose anxiously awaiting my return home.”
Jensen: “same here, but please let me know when you do arrive home. i would like to know you arrived safely.”
Jensen helped you once more by helping you with your bags as he walked by your side to the airport and up to the check in once more to get your updated tickets and then it was time to part once more in such sweet sorrow.
you and jensen let go of your bags and hugged it out once more before parting to your respected gates. but you whispered in his ear when you hugged him.
YN: “i will let you know when im back on home soil. i will always remember your touch.”
Jensen and you parted and went on your way. arriving home you sent Jensen a text.
YN (texting Jensen): “hey Jensen its YN. i am back on home soil and i already miss your embrace. i am heading to baggage to collect my luggage, then to meet my best friend in the lobby. home hasnt changed. let me know when you land and what your seeing too. ill look forward to being in more correspondance with you soon <3″
you grabbed your bag and went down the escalator straight into the arms of your best friend. you broke down as soon as you hit her embrace. she just stood there hugging you not caring that either of you were in public, you both stood there as you cried.
Beth: “what happened girl?”
YN: “long story short the trip was amazing, but i fear i have fallen in love with someone i might never seen again. i missed you.”
Beth: “come on lets get you out of here and back home.”
you both exited the airport and went back home. later when you were alone you looked at your phone and saw a messgae from jensen.
Jensen (via text): “hey beautiful i made it home to, i know how you feel, it feels weird to be home again. my best friend is waiting i just grabbed my luggage. i hope everything goes well. till we speak again. i miss you too <3″
that was the message that sent you into a suspended sleep your bestie crawled into bed after she was done her work. she didnt care that you were passed out. she was just happy that you were home.
Jensen had a similar greeting from his best friend and returned home to his large and half empty bed also falling into a suspended sleep all he could think about was you.
*to be continued*
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All of it sis 💁🏻♀️
WELL OKAY THEN
0:Height
5′2 me and my short self
1:Virgin?
YUP
2:Shoe size
Um… Hold on gotta check (I don’t know cause I don’t get shoes often) Okay so I wear 3 sizes I wear 7 ½ in heels, 8 and 8 ½. My feet are apparently weird.
3:Do you smoke?
No, I have before tho when i was like 6 with my brother grosses shit ever. But I also use to smoke marijuana but like I havent done that since last year around May.
4:Do you drink?
Occasionally. But I don’t get drunk. Never have gotten drunk either.
5:Do you take drugs?
No only thing that came close was weed and that was for my depression and anxiety. It just wasn’t prescribe.
6:Age you get mistaken for
20 or older. Like I got to see a kids movie tho because of how short I am. So yay!
7:Have tattoos?
NO Sadly
8:Want any tattoos?
FUCK YES I HAVE LIKE 17 Tats drawn up and I know where I want them to go.
9:Got any piercings?
Ears.
10:Want any piercings?
Yes my nose.
11:Best friend?
Evelin mi hermanita, but also VIVIANA aka @notanotherdolantwinsblog
12:Relationship status
Single until Grayson notices me or some shit
13:Biggest turn ons
FUCK THIS HAD TO BE ON HERE. Um… Jaw clenching, Grey sweatpants, “Babe”, “Baby”, Cute nicknames, Biting, hair pulling, choking, scratching, certain laughs, spanking, deep conversations, weird but like when someone picks me up and I don’t expect it, lip biting, eye rolling, cheesy jokes, puns, dirty jokes, someone being so focused on something like full on has their attention.
14:Biggest turn offs
Feet, anal (like shit comes out of there no thanks), Smells that would make me like revolt to Jupiter, douche bags like the I am better than everyone type of cocky douche.
15:Favorite movie
Romeo + Juliet, Titanic, Nemo, Monsters Inc., Scream, It Follows, Little Mermaid (all of them), Austin Powers (all of them). Sucker Punch, Kick Ass, 5th Wave,Let Me In.
16:I’ll love you if
Oof okay ahhh um get to know me for me and we have a form of bond like that honestly I feel so bad if people give me things they pay for like I feel like I am just taking and I feel like shit so yeah become my friend and I grow to love you for you and you hopefully do the same.
17:Someone you miss
My Haybug. ( my cousins daughter who I call my niece who I helped basically raise) um Grayson and Ethan, my cousin Austin and my other cousin Pierce.
18:Most traumatic experience
Yeah this is great, um I have a couple one really fucked me up and the other one almost made me kill myself so I won’t be posting about it because it is not something I want in the world.
19:A fact about your personality
Uhhhhh…. it is still forming because I am trying to find who I am.
20:What I hate most about myself
My weight and teeth.
21:What I love most about myself
My eye color and laugh.
22:What I want to be when I get older
Financially stable lol but also a musician and actor
23:My relationship with my sibling(s)
Well I live with my little sister and we annoy the hell out of each other but we love each other too and then my brother is away in a different state with the national guard and trying to join the army, so complicated?
24:My relationship with my parent(s)
Well fuck. I… this is so complex no one is ready for it.
25:My idea of a perfect date
Surfing ( hopefully not dying from it) followed by a hike to a high place to over look everything followed by pizza and ice cream and a movie where we cuddle (after a shower of course)
26:My biggest pet peeves
EATING WITH MOUTH OPEN AND SMACKING IT LIKE NO STOPPPPP.
27:A description of the girl/boy I like
He is just so beautiful, the way his laugh lines crease when he smiles with or with out teeth is just incredible and the way his brown eyes that change color due to lighting and emotion shine through even when he isn’t at his best because he has the most amazing heart and puts everyone else before himself even though he knows he needs to take time and get to what makes him happy. His hair that goes through hell but it still maintains a soft poofy look and as of right now it is a light brown almost ash brown with bits of dirty blonde. His jawline is the kind you wouldn’t even see on a greek god because it is so unique to his face hell his bone structure is his own and yet in some ways completely different from his brothers. He has an athletic build that I barely pay attention to because his droopy eyes capture my attention with the intensity that he stare with. Not to mention he has the most creative beautiful mind I have ever seen with theories and words he has and things he acts out. His sense of humor is amazing he is such a goof ball and it’s a mix of stupid corny jokes and dirty jokes that he can’t fully say out loud because he is caught in the public eye all the time. He can’t be himself and it is the most painful thing to know because he has the biggest kindest heart ever and is human with insecurities beyond what I know. Plus his scars that add characteristic details to his face that tell a story of a young boy having fun without a care in the world is the most beautiful construct of his humanity. Whoa.
He completely owns my ass…
28:A description of the person I dislike the most
Cheeto with a blonde toupee
29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend
To protect them. Or myself.
30:What I hate the most about work/school
That I don’t do either
31:What your last text message says
I didn’t know I could describe someone like this
32:What words upset me the most
You aren’t wanted here.
33:What words make me feel the best about myself
When someone thanks me for helping them. I don’t help people for that reason but I like to know that I helped in some way. It makes me feel good that they feel good.
34:What I find attractive in women
Confidence for sure. LIKE YES BOO YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!!! YES WORK THAT OUTFIT! YOU ARE GLOWING!!!!!
35:What I find attractive in men
Honesty, pure real deep honesty. Like how they feel or asking them questions to where they give deep meaningful answers or even if its like “ I just wanna fuck” like Okay you hot but I aint down for that thank you for being honest but oof damn even hotter now but like I am good. (unless they are strangers then thats creepy)
36:Where I would like to live
Greece, Rome, Italy, California, New Jersey like the nature aspects of all these places oh my damn it’s so beautiful.
37:One of my insecurities
My smile
38:My childhood career choice
Musician, I have always wanted to be a musician in 4th grade I even started a band with no instruments and wrote songs but my dickwad of an ex said songs had to be at least 2 pages long and it kind of made me mad and I stopped writing them for a few months. FUCK YOU ETHAN ( not dolan my ex fucking douche side note I dated him in 2nd grade he dumped me for my friend who he dumped for our other friend who only went out with him to dump him)
39:My favorite ice cream flavor
Vanilla only cause you can add other flavors to it and make a delicious concoction.
40:Who wish I could be
A better version of me which I am working on currently.
41:Where I want to be right now
In a relationship with Grayson so I can cuddle in bed with him and watch scary movies so we both get scared and like grip onto each other for the rest of the night.
42:The last thing I ate
Dark Chocolate covered pistachios I know it sounds weird but surprisingly good.
43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
Grayson Dolan
44:A random fact about anything
I am related to Abraham Lincoln and Tom Hanks on my Grandfathers side ( my moms, dad.)
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1 To 116.
Thanks anon!! Thats my boredom cured for the evening
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
I’m actually not confused right now, which is a bloody rarity. I suppose I could say I’m slightly confused about my gender, but I try not to think about that tbh
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
Occasionally, though to be fair I’m never awake in the mornings atm lmao
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
On a rare occasion? No. All the time? Probably.
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
Fuck no lmao have you met people?
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
Umm...I was with my bf..
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
Probably my mate from uni @bookdragonphoenix
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
Instant break up. No excuses for that.
8: Are you close with your dad?
Hoo boi that’s complicated! It varies honestly, but more so than some people I guess
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
Yeah
10: What are you listening to?
I’m listening to Ke$ha’s Die Young. It’s a tune okay?
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
Coke Cola (that is how you spell it right? Fuck im dumb). I live off it anyway tbh
12: Do you like hickeys?
Um, I like getting them but I get embarrased if some people see them lmfao
13: What time do you go to bed?
Like 12am? Usually about 2 hours after I’m tired enough to sleep smh
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
Besides me? I guess a couple of people that are...distant friends and possibly a few family members, not to call anyone out
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
Well no lmao
16: Do you always answer your texts?
90% of them
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
I don’t know who I fell the hardest for. I don’t really recall past emotions that well.
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
Todayy
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
3 or 4 people yeah!
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
Fuck me I don’t know. Probably ughhh can I fall asleep pls
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
Nope. I havent even seen another human today lmao
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
To an extent, but it’s not always guaranteed unfortunately
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
Fuck no lmao
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
That depends on the definition of fix. If it solely relies on me doing things different, then no. But if it means someone else can themselves be fixed, sure.
25: In the past week, have you cried?
Nah, wish I could though I feel like I need to
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
Grey
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
Not people I see anymore
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
Don’t think so. I think people are just busy.
29: Do you have a best friend?
I have multiple
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
Very :/
31: Who was your last call/text message from?
@oneshappyplace bc she loves it when i throw random shit her way and vice versa
32: Are you mad at anyone?
I mean besides the people I have long term issues with? Nah
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Haha yeah
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
20. Oh jeeeeesus christ that’s a scary fucking thought. Nope-ing away from that.
35: How many more days until your birthday?
8 months ish?
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
I’m going away to quite a few places. There’s more I want to do but I don’t know if it will ever get organised.
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
Besides my bf, not good ones.
Edit: I completely forgot about one of my friends, yes I do
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
Not intentionally. Idk. Don’t ask don’t tell I guess.
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
Yeah bc it aint anyones business
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
I don’t think so.
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
To an extent. Massive age gaps are weird, especially if one of them is hella young
42: Are you available?
Nein
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
2
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
Eyebrow piercing
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
I guess? I mean I probs couldn’t do that but I guess for others
46: Do you regret anything?
So fucking much omfg
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
How shit I am at communication. I’m really starting to get mad at myself and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
In a way, yeah
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
No
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
I...am ig
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
Yup
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
Wow this is relentless with the kissing. Yah
53: What was the last thing you ate?
An orange
54: Did you get any compliments today?
Nope
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
Suffolk for latitude festival. How I ended up going there is a long story lmao
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
Tons of stuff I guess. I mean I’m wearing my ohio state tshirt haha
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
Girls
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
In the middle of england
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
Fucking hell, like 7 or 8 weeks ago when I came back to uni
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
Who hasn’t?
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
Nah
62: Who do you text the most?
Probably @oneshappyplace or @apricot-el they get all my bs
63: What was the last movie you saw?
It’s called Chronicle, it was p good
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
Don’t fekkin ask that lmao! Hopefully the fact they’re happy and their ex is now miles away
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?
Zero
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
Nein
67: Do you curse around your parents?
Yeah, much to their dislike
68: Are you happy with where you live?
Yeah, but I’m only here for 3 more weeks
69: Picture of yourself?
No chance. Just imagine stereotypical androgenous kid, but lanky af
70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
Personally I prefer monogamy
71: Have you ever been dumped?
Um...I actually can’t remember
72: What do you most like about making out?
Feeling wanted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (sweet sweet depression and anxiety)
73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
Nah
74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
Strangely enough, me
75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
I cannot seriously pick one part
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
You guessed it it’s @oneshappyplace
77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
I mean I’m alone
78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
Nope
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
Just cute unexpected gestures I suppose
80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
I mean, maybe not currently but who knows if I was older
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
Yeah
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
Just my closest friends and the person I have a crush on *eye roll*
83: Do you miss your last sweetie?
No
84: Last time you slow danced with someone?
Years ago
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
I mean I’ve met them now but yes
86: How can I win your heart?
Be a kind, understanding human being with a damn good sense of humor
87: What is your astrological sign?
Libra
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Bothering friends lmao
89: Do you cook?
Occasionally. I used to a lot more but depression
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
Yeah, but it only ever seems to be me making the effort, so every time I’ve let them go again
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
see like all previous answers lol
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
Monogamous stuff
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
I honestly don’t know. I can never figure out my type, just, hotness lmao
94: Name four things that you wish you had!
Dopamine, money, the power to help others more...thats it thats all I want
95: Are you a player?
Nein
96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
Nope
97: Are you a tease?
I can be but not in a cruel way
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
Two people and we’re still close
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
That’s a loaded question yikes. I dont know.
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
I mean I don’t know their tumblr but yh
101: Hugs or Kisses?
Both. I can’t choose. I’m bi.
102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Probs idk
103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
....their face?
104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Sure
105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
Not until I knew wtf they were playing at
106: Do you flirt a lot?
I’m hopeless at it
107: Your last kiss?
Yesterday
108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?
I haven’t kissed that many people, full stop.
109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
Yikes see 107
110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
The bae tbh
111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
I have a p good idea
112: Does someone like you currently?
I fekkin hope so
113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
Yeah lmao
114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Serious shit
115: Ever made out with just a friend?
Once when drunk
116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?
In a relationship, for sure
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To be honest im very glad she loves her boyfriend so much, initially i asked about her relationship status and she said it was open, and was very firm about that fact, emphasizing it to the point that it was the only thing leading me to believe she was at all receptive to my advances, of course thats not enough because i was so forward, and i knew she just likely wasnt that into me. but today when i pressed the issue, as i am a horny man and frankly im in a damn hurry, she changed her tune, now he was her soul mate. and you know what nothing could have made me happier. my last serious girlfriend was in a committed relationship but it was on the rocks, in part do to her going off her birth control (i was high test compared to her boyfriend, he had better musculature but prenatal test exposure was lower in the womb as evident by me being 6′2 and having masculinized bone structure in comparison to his.) and losing all attraction to him, also i kind of fucked their shit up by randomly confessing my feelings for her, we had known each other for close to ten years at that point, but i never made my feelings known because she was so fucking hot to me i just never thought of her as a possibility quite frankly, i was fucking SHOCKED to find out she felt exactly the same. this same exact scenario played out for me when i was a young man and i literally forced my girlfriend to go on hormonal birth control, the hormones in birth control literally trick your body into thinking that your pregnant, and pregnant women have different taste in men, they are looking for a provider obviously, their behavior changes dramatically, in part because they lose interest in higher testosterone but good physical genetics mates as they need someone to be their when they raise their baby, typically (naturally) this only lasts for 9 months than the baby comes, if the man who fathered the child is able to weather the emotional shit storm, he will stick with you through anything, and is thus a good potential provider for your offspring, the opposite is true if they met you while on hormonal birth control, as they value you for your provider traits and when they go off the bc their body thinks they are no longer pregnant, hence her looking for a big strong bull (me) too impregnate her.
she knew this indian guy since they were children, it was fucking obvious they were meant to be together, i hated being responsible for the heartbreak i caused BOTH of them. dude still wanted to be with her after she kicked him out of her life to fuck some drug addicted retard (me) but heres the thing i am not talking shit about her, they literally cant fucking help it, we are slaves to our hormones. i was very pleased to find out that she was hesitant to go on birth control as it “makes her crazy” i was so glad she brought it up and felt that way, as imagine going over this shit with a potential girlfriend, imagine how well thats going to go over! i have been familiar with hormonal BC’s effects on womens sexual preferences and ability to pair bond since i watched a documentary on the discovery channel about sex with i was 13, i was trying to masturbate, but i learned a lot instead, despite how crazy this sounds, all of this is accepted science and new papers get released about it every couple of years or so, its fucking insane that women arent made aware of this common side effect of birth control, so imagine how fucking conflicted i felt when she was adamant about getting back on birth control, i was 99 percent sure she would fall out of love with me, and at the time , it was insane to me how much she clearly loved me, she promised shed get off birth control as soon as i asked, i pleaded with her, saying that by the time she was on bc for even a couple weeks shed no longer love me or give a fucking shit what i had to say anymore, which seemed RIDICULOUS at the time, but she promised shed go off it as soon as i asked, i knew that would not be the case. within literal days after getting the hormonal IUD put in, she stopped looking at me the same, we started fighting all the time, it was horrible to see, especially for the second time, all men know what i am talking about, when that lok disappears, and of course she didnt get it taken out when i asked, and of course the fighting got worse and worse, who the fuck could stand living with me without loving me, suddenly all the bad shit about me (no job prospects, bad provider) that she had already been aware of for years became an issue, blah blah blah, it wasnt her fault, imagine being forced to live iwth someone who you didnt love, who loved you and stil wanted to fuck you. and of course as the fighting got worse and she slept on the couch, i could no longer sleep, i became obsessively jealous (mate retention strategy caused by testosterone masculinizing the brain) i knew she wasnt cheating on me, there was literally no way, but my guts were twisting and churning every single day, my behavior became increasingly erratic (men behave irrationally as well, in their own way) it all came to a head, after a solid month of the cold shoulder, i had finally landed a job interview to be a car salesmen (i built up a relationship with the neighbor i smoked iwth, and he landed me the job) but the day before i was set to be interviewed we had a massive fight which i started, because i tried to reason with her (in love men and women arent governed by reason) that she had been giving me the silent treatment for a month and i had been on my best behavior, which i had been, buying her gifts and flowers with the profit sharing check i got from my old job, but she started grabbing her stuff to leave, she wouldnt tell me where she was going and in my irrational state i was sure she was going to fuck an entire football team, an unbelievably searingly painful thought for a man, women literally cant comprehend this as they dont experience jealousy in the same way men do. so i slammed out of the house first into the streets of new york city, huffing and puffing trying to to cry as i pushed past the crowded streets, it was like 4 pm in the middle of queens. i found a bar and sat at the center of the bar, it was pretty empty when i walked in since it was like four o clock in the afternoon. i had 300 hundred dollars in my pocket and i spent it all that very night on beers and shots and whiskey sours, i had never gone to a bar of my own volition before and can count on one hand the amount of times id set foot in a bar, but i had been drinking more than i ever had in my life. the pain of jealousy and losing someone that i sincerely loved, and intended to marry was so intense that i started drinking and basically didnt stop until we were separated (havent really touched the stuff since, i dont really like alcohol) but i was losing the girl i loved, she was supposed to be my wife. i drank like there was no fucking tomorrow, just waiting for her to call me, which she did, but there was no love in her voice, no news on where she was, or who she was with (her girlfriends, studying for an exam) so i hung up and went back to drinking, my bartender was a young women, who may have been pretty i was not paying attention, so much so that when she finished her shift and left the bar, and a young woman sat next to me at the bar and tried to talk to me, she grew angry with me that i didnt realize it was the same bartender, who had been serving me drinks all night, she left in a huff, soon i felt people pressing up against my back as i finished my 20th drink of the day, i was way past my limit, but i was about to lose the girl i loved and become homeless on the streets of new york in my mind, she would never have done that to me, but my “home” had evaporated as soon as i left to new york, and after i lost my job delivering refrigerators he made it pretty clear he didnt want me around. he was not my real dad after all, just another of my mothers boyfriends, its not the same as a biological dad, for as good as he was and as much as he did for me, i was becoming too much, i cant describe the fear of the streets for someone who spent their lives homeless or near homeless is like, its always there. so i drank that way as the NYC bar grew very crowded and noisey, i had picked the hottest socail spot in the city to drown my sorrows,. i would drink until i couldnt feel the pain anymore, go home, puke my guts out, not remember anything and then regroup in the morning after she got home from her boyfriends house, thats a problem for tomorrow me. i was just waiting for her to call me and maybe show me some sign of warmth, some sign of the person i fell in love with. she did call me in fact, i was too drunk and the bar was too loud for me to hear it, i got up to take a piss and only then realized how crowded the bar actually was, people were dancing behind me the whole time and i didnt even realize it, it was packed from wall to wall, as i got up to take my piss, my last five fell out of my pocket onto the ground and i nearly fell over trying ot pick it up, plus the last shot i took i just spilled down my shirt sleeve, it was time to go home. i drunkenly stumbled towards the door the bar was so packed i literally had to raise my arms into the air (this detail will be important for later) as i made my way towards the exit suddenly she appeared in the doorway, i cannot describe to you my relief in this moment, how did she even find me? it was the last clear memory i have from that night, the only other memory i have is foggy, me drunkenly bragging that i could have beat up every dude in the bar and girls were totally trying to fuck me (see? im valuable) as she drove me home, the rest of that night is completely lost to me, i found myself suddenly in our bed, in the morning, i felt more hungover than i had ever been in my life by a factor of ten, i was shaking uncontrollably still half drunk and frightened (if youve never blacked completely out before you cant know what thats like) she informed me that i had pushed her, i was horrified, how could this have happened, and what more could i have been capable of, i didnt have time to process that however as her dad was on his way over from upstate new york, in my half drunk and frightened mind i knew he was coming to fight me, i went into fight or flgiht mode *if your dead comes here i wil lfuck him up!” even i couldnt believe i said that , her father was an unbelievably kind and gentle man, but i was frightened, i was gonna be homeless on the streets of new york, a forgotten man who fell through the cracks in the safety net, and worse i deserved it, my sense of self was shattered, how could i have pushed her? she made the right decision in having her father turn around, and head back to upsate new york. i cried like a fucking baby, how could i have done this? my father was a drunk who beat the shit out of my mother, and i remembered it vividly. i sobbed and sobbed, i had been doing a lot of that, i loved her from the beginning and worse, she had loved me too. i had no way of contextualizing it either, for me it was as if someone had woken me up to inform me that in my sleep i had punched a child, think about that, how do you process it? i had prided myself in never putting my hands on a woman unless she asked first (thats its own story that i will never fucking tell) i ddint even remember it, like at all, i ddint even remember us fighting, apparently i was barfing and doing somersaults of the bed and shit, as you do when you are blackout drunk. and she had never drank a drop of alcohol or smoked a single weed in her life, she must have been absolutely terrified. i wanted to die, it was over for good. we had made up in a sense, as the reality of the situation set in, we only ever held each other on the first and last night i was in newyork, and both times, you wont believe this but i have to say it because it was so strange, we cuddled face to face while her two cats cuddled each other inbetween us, only the first and last night.
part of why it was so hard for me, was because i knew i would miss her bitterly for the rest of my life, literally every day until i died, i knew from experience, and she woudl be really upset for a few months maybe and then never think about me again. my only hope was that she got back together with tha tindian boy she grew up with, he fucking cried outside of their apartment, and stil asked about her when she left him for me, this tore me up, as id been on the other end of that, he loved her better than i did, they were meant to be married but hormonal fucker and jewish sabotage has a combined effect of just fucking women right up, men too but i feel worse for the women. if you fuck a guy you should just stay with them honestly, you will be much happier long term. this started out as one thing, and then turned into something different, as i had been meaning to tell that story for years now. i know it seems like a lot of self pity and to be fair theres a lot of remorse too even to this day, i barely touched a drop of alcohol in the years since, and occasionally it will hit me like a ton of bricks out of the blue and i will excuse myself into my room to cry into the macaroni and cheese i was eating.
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selected tweets 2016-17
These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived.
I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at [email protected]. Thank you
2016
morgantown has ~48 vape shops
**morgantown has ~480 vape shops
siri has werner herzog-like inflections
considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)
think i remember ~5% of things i said today
imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'
felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar
just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'
looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed
listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show
feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth
feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes
enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')
felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair
left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm
repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway
strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones
feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at
in winchester, VA
thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'
thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name
successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell
ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college
feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues
feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours
persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me
psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'
feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class
psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes
imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'
saw a moth at open mic, thought about god
experiencing difficulty trying to smile
enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay
intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way
felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class
imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview
enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology
perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed
spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer
feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success
feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago
i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers
i dont like videos
i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible
simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance
feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets
huge power outage at shepherd lol
realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'
remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted
feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again
struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz
feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery
crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee
laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall
drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas
just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting
opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself
'camcorder' would be a good band name
i thought arnold palmer had already died
willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable
i want to stop being mean
i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf
wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service
tangled up in myself and others
twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital
eating shark
thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'
thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain
had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time
i miss being in therapy
i love carpet
i love carpet !!
just thought about my own tweets and lol'd
mood lately very fragile
this is what i get for staying up til 5 am
all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me
sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving
my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all
fuck, im feeling so much terror
gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst
the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear
interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him
what if old people have secrets
my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally
i feel guilty in general
thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago
im close friends with satan rn
feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $
from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread
finger
desk
coffee cup exterior
pajama pants
knee
carpet
chin
phone
shirt
shoe
thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"
feeling shorter, broader
the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet
is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos
the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream
i like citing things in MLA
i write essays by pretending im werner herzog
doesnt seem to be getting later
lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled
heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change
i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help
crazy how things get worse
there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset
bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed
weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn
also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number
the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about
the sunlight is obscene
im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside
im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys
i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day
yr = your ur = you're
my favorite things are pdfs
now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe
i hear him but i never see him
i love latte art, i drink many lattes
thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew
felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships
went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned
my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity
record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money
i prefer EPs
felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones
writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from
have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why
the internet isn't big enough
usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"
"uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks
feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront
the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours
i'm sad
my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today
was luis neer in odd future
thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account
becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself
thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician
imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets
how does anyone do it
in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls
everyone in the world is high except me
feel like i want to have poems published immediately
having delusions of grandeur
im sitting on my record player
my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"
prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM
my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend
all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever
watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc
my nose feels like it's going to bleed
im sad because every bf looks like me
getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue
the internet is too freaky...
i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things
im watching the angry birds movie
the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...
ive never had a new years kiss
2017
im weird
eating medicinal ice cream
im not going to do any drugs in 2017
made a medicinal phone call
i want to drink some blood
i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"
years dont kill people
feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career
i've felt stoned since i was a baby
downloading google earth
made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers
realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football
i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger
experiencing cognitive dissonance
used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally
i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs
my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"
thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting
mediocore
beyonce is cool i think
i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it
remembered that i own a pinata
i will be at awp
how could i make twitter a better place
i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend
feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems
felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones
watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center
i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day
im dumber than me
reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"
i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion
my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion
i dropped my textbook in the stairwell
does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water
sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me
resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts
eating chicken and squash
i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow
when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day
i dropped my textbook in the stairwell
white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical
terrified of being cool
walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones
i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung
2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport
i have 5 twitters
i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman
why doesnt anyone blog about me
thesis statements arent real
thinking about my book
i deleted both my tumblrs by accident
sad about my tumblr
my name is all over the internet
im a lizard
someday there'll be no more ppl
a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses
feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away
idk how to use venmo or what it is
present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around
when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated
the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me
on tumblr i have 4 followers
almost all of my tweets seem unimportant
feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it
ground control to commander venus
i like my new tumblr
i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one
feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life
is everything ok
i look like michael moore
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Asks from @positivity-princess-cheebs thanks! Anyone can ask literally as many as you want and I'll probably have fun doing them even if it takes a while, or ask a follow up ask about my answers :)
5 your url? I like geeky stuff and i care strongly for lgbtq+ rights
6 why you joined tumblr? Honestly 😵 i was looking at nsfw stuff when i first discovered tumblr haha
7 nickname? I dont have one, if anyone thinksofonethat fits me lemme know :) :)
8 like bubble baths? I like baths, I havent had a bubble bath in a long time but i want to :) :)
9 been kissed in the rain? Not that i remember, sounds pretty nice hehe :)
10 dyed your hair? Once i died it a dark reddish brown, it wasnt that much different than my regular hair but different enough and i liked it and wanna do it again sometime :) :)
11 Soup or salad? Hmm soup sounds better right now, but salad can be pretty good too
12 veggie or meat? I dont eat meat much because of effects to animals and environment, but i do love it when i do, and I like vegan meat too :) I'm picky about veggies, but potatoes are great hehe and some others
13 go out drinking? Not often, maybe like one a month or something
14 cigarettes? I've had them before cuz of peer pressure probably and they did nothing except make me cough
15 smoke weed? I've done it here and there
16 hard drugs? Never, I'm too scared of lasting effects or addiction
17 had sex today? Nope hehe
18 fallen asleep in someones arms? Um yeah like cuddling
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i was tagged by @trevorfindsthestrals (LOOK i finally got internet access on my laptop again!! Sorry it took so long)
1. Coffee or tea? tea, i had my first cup of coffee on like thursday last week
2. Black and white or color? black or soft, but not pastel, colours
3. Drawings or paintings? idk, whatever is more moving in that moment i guess
4. Dresses or skirts? dresses because i never know how to match with a skirt
5. Books or movies? how DARE you make me choose, i think books, but i wanna make movies (potentially havent really explored that yet) so it seems like the wrong answer
6. Pepsi or Coke? i dont drink fizzy drinks
7. Chinese or Italian? definitely italian on an everyday basis but i LOVE chinese too
8. Early bird or night owl? its almost midnight and i havent started my reading for tomorrow, that counts as an answer right?
9. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, unless its a milkshake
10. Introvert or extrovert? introvert, i don’t really like people
11. Hugs or kisses? ive never been kissed so hugs
12. Hunting or fishing? aesthetics of hunting but uh with fishing you can not put a hook on the line and just kinda sit there and chill without looking like the animal lover that your family judges you for being
13. Winter or summer? yes. idk im probably more of a summer person, but i also really like the implications of winter in that everything has to die in order to be reborn, plus i can’t really breathe in the heat, but i also have poor circulation in my extremities so the cold sucks ass
14. Spring or fall? spring, i like the crisp air of fall dont get me wrong, but the rebirth and the petrichor after a spring rain with a crisp breeze that doesnt chill you is just so relaxing
15. Rural or urban? i grew up in the woods so rural but i need to at least be kinda close to a hospital to avoid panicking
16. PC or Mac? pc
17. Tan or pale? is this preference, cuz i dont have one of those, but i am so white that i was the same color as my cheer uniform in high school
18. Cake or pie? cake, i dont like pie crust
19. Ice cream or yogurt? frozen yogurt tbh, it jsut tastes fresher and less heavy
20. Ketchup or mustard? my brother likes to mock me for how much i loved ketchup when i was like 7 as if it was yesterday
21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? i dont like pickles
22. Comedy or mystery? can we do a hybrid where its like theyre fighting crime but have no ability to act serious, cuz im basically writing a comic book like that with @spectralflutterbeast
23. Boots or sandals? i live in a colder wetter climate so usually boots, but i love sandals
24. Silver or gold? i like white gold typically because its often a mix, it has the matching ability of silver with the warmth in color of gold
25. Pop or Rock? i grew up on steve miller and journey from my mom and simon & garfunkel from my dad
26. Dancing or singing? all i can think of is my shitty karoke the other night, so uh dancing, at least i don’t suck more at that when im drunk
27. Checkers or chess? checkers is easier and i could probably actually win, but chess is more likely to hold my attention
28. Board games or video games? we used to do family board game nights (im currently holding the winnign streak for clue because any games played without everyone dont count) (my extended family is also obsessed with card games, its how we bond, we talk shit and play cards)
29. Wine or beer? wine if i have to have one of these, i dont like fizzy stuff ever so no beer but wine dries out my mouth
30. Freckles or dimples? i have freckles, and i love it when people have dimples
31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? i guess bbq
32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? idk what body weight exercises includes but i have always liked lifting weights, its something im fairly good at
33. Baseball or basketball? BASEBALL IS THE BEST I LOVE IT, i miss playing it so much but its been too long for me to feel comfortable joining an intramural team
34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? sudoku...i think
35. Facial hair or clean shaven? preference right, um stubble.... im not big on full beards (probs cuz my dad has always had one, seriously pics from when he was 20 we are the exact same but he has a beard, he says he hasnt shaved his upper lip since he was 16) clean shaven is nice too tho
36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? i prefer no ice, but if i have to i like that ice you get in hospital cafeterias
37. Skiing or snowboarding? never been
38. Smile or game face? smirking, its the happy medium
39. Bracelet or necklace? i feel naked without any piece of my jewelry (watch on right wrist, a bracelet on my left, a necklace for me to fidget with, both sets of earrings)
40. Fruit or vegetables? fruit
41. Sausage or bacon? bacon
42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled unless its on toast
43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? dark chocolate
44. Tattoos or piercings? i have two sets of piercings and i just got my first tattoo last month
45. Antique or brand new? antique unless its something i would feel like i couldnt be comfortable using, i always wind up with a very eclectic mix
46. Dress up or dress down? dress down, never really have a reason to dress up
47. Cowboys or aliens? cowboys, space gives me anxiiety
48. Cats or dogs? dogs
49. Pancakes or waffles? depends on who is making the pancakes
50. Bond or Bourne? uhhhh what
51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? fantasy
52. Numbers or letters? letters
53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? lotr tbh
54. Fair or theme park? fair, i grew up in puyallup (look it up, i can even sing the old theme song)
55. Money or fame? money, i want to buy my parents and aunt nice things
56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? laundry (no icky wet food pieces!) {this is what @trevorfindsthestrals had i just could not have said it any better myself}
57. Snakes or sharks? ummm snakes? cuz theyre smaller and i can run from them if theyre dangerous
58. Orange juice or apple juice? orange
59. Sunrise or sunset? sunsets seem more satisfactory to me
60. Slacker or over-achiever?.....i dont’ know how to answer this question
61. Pen or pencil? pencil, unless im worried about it smudging, then i bought some erasable pens for that
62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter is more filling but i make jam every year so theres that
63. Grammys or Oscars? oscars
64. Detailed or abstract? why cant we do both, like a painting that is overall abstract but the closer you get the more you see the things that make it what it is, ya know, like life
65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? idk multiple choice questions are harder to get wrong for not having enough info about a particular topic, but im good at and enjoy bsing things
66. Adventurous or cautious? i wish i was more adventurous but insecurities
67. Saver or spender? yes
68. Glasses or contacts? i dont wear either
69. Laptop or desktop? laptop
70. Classic or modern? what medium
71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? i would like a personal trainer until i get back in the habit of it and then i would jsut need a gym buddy
72. Internet or cell phone? cell since you cna get internet on your phone
73. Call or text? social anxiety so texting
74. Curly hair or straight? mine is beach wavy
75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? ive been showering in the morning because i like what it does to my hair
76. Spicy or mild? spicy please
77. Marvel or DC? wonder woman was my first favorite character, like about the time that bugs life came out because i obviously had two and the other was Flick
78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent, i like assurance but i dont like permanence
79. Sky dive or bungee jump? never been but uh im not that trusting so i probably am jsut gonna go with a no
80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? chewy chips ahoy
81. Jello or pudding? jello
82. Truth or dare? im a chicken so truth
83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster, ferris wheels are all of the fear with none of the fun
84. Leather or denim? I NEED BOTH I CANT CHOOSE
85. Stripes or solids? stripes and fat people lol no, solids for me
86. Bagels or muffins? bagels probably
87. Whole wheat or white? whole wheat
88. Beads or pearls? pearls, my mother was a jeweler for 13 years, i cant not
89. Hardwood or carpet? hard wood in a hall, tile or linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom and then carpet everywhere else
90. Bright colors or neutral tones? uhhhh for what, cuz it really depends
91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? i want to be like 34, not rn obviously, im enjoying being 20 and stupid, but i feel like 34 is a good age, of course thats abotu how old my bros were when i idolized them so that might be reflective of that
92. Raisins or nuts? raisins, partially because every time my dad sees nuts he says nuts for the nutty and it has become a conditioned response for me now
93. Picnic or nice restaurant? picnic
94. Black leather or brown leather? brown
95. Long hair or short hair? mines somewhere in the middle
96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? wtf does the second even mean
97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction
98. Smoking or non-smoking? i have asthma
99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? i wish i could think before i talk more than i actually do
100. Asking questions or answering questions? i like to listen to people
imma tag: @kiavachiisanoob @warriorsatthedisco @colecast1 and anyone lookinng for an excuse to do one of these
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alright i have a good song playing so i'll just vent until its over
alright so i havent had any structure in my life since march, which means ive been way more prone to dissociation and suicidal thoughts cause im genuinely just not productive in the least all i do is watch netflix and youtube vids ive already seen because i havent found anything new to hyperfixate over and i also have zero motivation for getting off my ass and out of the house to get a job which i need because all i do is drink and smoke weed all fucking day
speaking of, i really fucking want to quit smoking and drinking every goddamn day but its like.. the only thing that makes me feel anything and i fucking love when i get really drunk and then take a rip and get such a headrush that i end up sweating and coughing it makes me feel so alive and the only other thing thats given me that has been cutting which i really dont wanna get back into since im stripping now smfh
so anyways idk how to explain to Professionals™️ that im not actively suicidal but any time im alone and its quiet i cant help but think about how fucking pointless it is for me to be around like i just genuinely dont have the motivation to be alive and to be a person in society
oh also any time i drive i get really dissociative and suicidal to a point where sometimes i have to pull over cause i cant stop thinking about getting into a car crash
idk it really sucks that if u want any type of long term (more than 6 months) treatment or resource you have to pay so much money and even then i dont know what it would take to really make me want to live
i feel like im living on autopilot and days just blur together this summer went by so fast i didnt even get to do what i wanted i just want a fucking break i need something new or exciting to make me fucking feel alive
idk its 1am while writing this im currently in a numb pre-dissociative space where i just need to cry or else i'll explode bye
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10-30 for that ask meme
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?-why does my ear hurt??? the world may never know2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?-no3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?-i mean i would care in a way thats like “please be careful just in case its laced w something”4: Do you find it easy to trust others?-kind of5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?-chillin, the usual6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?-probably @glorisanctus aka hailey 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?-confront the person and talk to them in a calm way8: Are you close with your dad?-hah NOPE9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?-no which is why i need AYDEN TO COME TO FLORIDA10: What are you listening to?-im watching rip vine compilations 11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?-water bc its a basic necessity and do you know how much stuff you can make with just water12: Do you like hickeys?-yes13: What time do you go to bed?-i dont14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?-i usually cut those people out of my life so no!!15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?-no cos texting with one hand is a nightmare for me16: Do you always answer your texts?-i try to always answer em!! if i dont answer i just havent seen it lol17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?-no18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?-well bea just answered my ask (/coughs/ twink)19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?-too many ppl20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?-”why me”21: Is anyone else in the room with you?-probably the spirit that haunts my house, but its just me22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?-you know what they say, karmas a bitch23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?-im actually happier now then four months ago24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?-like five or so people, but unfortunately i dont talk to them nor do i wish to talk to them anymore25: In the past week, have you cried?-i think?? i dont know i cant even remember what time i woke up today27: Do people ever call you by your last name?-nah28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?-no actually29: Do you have a best friend?-many of them30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?-i would feel bad for the person kissing her but nah
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1-117 :))))
EMMALINE THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY PLS ASK ME A QUESTION
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reasonyou are confused right now? well now i’m confused bc i’m trying to figure out why this question thinks im confused
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? lol no
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? i would?? care if they smoked often yes but not like every once in a while yknow
4: Do you find it easy to trust others? LOL NO
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? watching scandal i think
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is withyou? pal i dont get drunk but if i did i’d??? be with whoever i trusted to get drunk with i mean
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheatedon? ngl i’d call up all my friends bc i know they’d form a lil army to fight back for me
8: Are you close with your dad? im not rly close with either of my parents tbh
10: What are you listening to? uh my happy spotify playlist
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life- what is it? answered here
12: Do you like hickeys? no
13: What time do you go to bed? .....5am-ish
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? i mean not to vague or anything,,,
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? no
16: Do you always answer your texts? lol no
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? answered here
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? like talk in person or message bc 6 hrs ago to the former
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you seethem? yes
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed lastnight? do people like actually remember that i mean who
21: Is anyone else in the room with you? i hope not
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? uh sure
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? yes?
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? YES
25: In the past week, have you cried? haha yes
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? blue w yellow flowers
27: Do people ever call you by your last name? no
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? dont think so
29: Do you have a best friend? @katxedisons
31: Who was your last call/text message from? my dad lol
32: Are you mad at anyone? nah
35: How many more days until your birthday? 227 (thanks google)
36: Do you have any summer plans yet? there are literally 11 days left of summer and,,, no i dont have plans for any of them fuck off
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? no
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? noooooooooo
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? dont think so
41: Do you think age matters in relationships? um yes dont be a pedophile
42: Are you available? answered here
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings forsince high school ended? ....one
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would youget? nose i guess
45: Do you believe exes can be friends? idk i have no experience in this
46: Do you regret anything? every moment since birth
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? this question i mean
48: Did you ever lose a best friend? yes
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? LET’S NOT DISCUSS THAT
53: What was the last thing you ate? granola bar
54: Did you get any compliments today? yes
55: Where are you going on your next vacation? los angeles!!!
56: Do you own anything from other countries? um yeah the things i purchased in japan and australia and the things my friends have gifted me from??? too many places to list
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? girls
58: Where have you lived most of your life? california
59: When was the last time you took a long drive? like i personally drove or was just in a car and also what is “long” and okay basically no i dont go on long drives anyway so
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? what do u think
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? no
62: Who do you text the most? my dad probably,,, listen i dont text people
63: What was the last movie you saw? spiderman??
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend fromgoing back to their ex? my who
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? i was 12yo
67: Do you curse around your parents? no
68: Are you happy with where you live? ehhhhhhh no
69: Picture of yourself? why is this question 69 that makes it so sketchy and also no im too lazy to add a photo if you’ve read this far ur probs my friend and know anyway so
70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe inopen-ended relationships? monogamy
71: Have you ever been dumped? that would require a gf
75: What part of a person’s body do you find mostattractive? idk their face??
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night beforeyou went to bed? my god dont make me check timestamps i think @katxedisons
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesysmile to your face? CUTE GIRLS
80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a childalready? i mean i wouldnt count it against them
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed toyou? not like,, directly
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? like,,, do i tell the crush or do i tell my friends about the crush altho tbh neither
83: Do you miss your last sweetie? who says sweetie
84: Last time you slow danced with someone? prom
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? n oooo oo
86: How can I win your heart? be a cute girl tbh
87: What is your astrological sign? taurus
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? still watching scandal i think
89: Do you cook? i bake
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flameafter a time of more than 3 months of no communication? no
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in arelationship? YEAH
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you prettymuch fall into monogamous relationships quickly? latter
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potentialinterest? not that i have a type but,,, long dark hair is a good bonus (also if ur??? amy santiago)
94: Name four things that you wish you had! a girlfriend, a corgi, $1 million, and dammit thats all i can come up with thats the dream tbh
95: Are you a player? no
97: Are you a tease? no
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? not yet
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? ehhh no
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? i mean??? i dont see why not
101: Hugs or Kisses? ngl i’d like to kiss a cute girl
102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? i mean i havent yet so
103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? gross
104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? YES
105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/shewas in relationship, would you go for it? NAH
106: Do you flirt a lot? ahaha i mean sometimes
110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? amy santiago
111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? IF U KNOW PLS TELL ME
112: Does someone like you currently? sounds fake
113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? yes
114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or justflings? former
116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? i mean im rly happy with either
117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Justwrite it. dammit emmeline u had one job
#i just deleted all the kissing questions#SPOILER ALERT ive never kissed anyone#santiagostyle#asked#emmaeline#look u have ur own tag now
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All of them 😏
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Still want pancakes for breakfest? 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? Nothing other than being friends3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? I would a lot and try and support them into recovery4. Is your last name longer than six letters? No5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Yepp7. What does your last received text say? “I don’t know”8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? A few times but it was all in one night9. Where was your last kiss at? My best friends younger siblings bed room on New Years10. When is the last time you saw your sister? Like .3 seconds ago11. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee or juice12. Where did you sleep last night? My bed13. Do you think relationships are hard? Hard but worth it14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Only thing i would do differently would be to try and hang out with family and friends more15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Nah, he’s one of my closest friends and we get along really well16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Rainy17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Nope18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Spandex19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? Honestly i dont know if ill even have the same friends 3 years from now let alone a relationship20. Does anyone like you? I dunno?21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? No but I wanted to kiss someone whos name started with an S22. Is the last person you kissed gay? Lmao no he’s straight as fuck23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Mhmmm 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? One i can afford it Im getting a lot tattoos 25. In the past week have you cried? Yeep26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Goldendoodle27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? Out of shower28. Have you ever kissed a football player? Yeah but he was shitty as hellll29. Do you think you’re old? Ye30. Do you like text messaging? Kinda sorta31. What type of day are you having? Good, i had dinner w my best frienda32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? I wanna but im a pussy33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Cold34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Andrew, Jarred, Tyler, Kyle35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? Relationship36. Are you a simple or complicated person? Complicated as fuck37. What song are you listening to? Im not listening to anything right now but my favorite song atm is Believer by Imagine Dragons38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 100%39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? Annabelle, my best friend40. What made you start liking the person you like now? We clicked instantly and kept talkig41. When did you last receive a text message?a few minutes ago42. What is wrong with you right now? Lmao thats a loaded question43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Extremely well, shes my best friend44. Does anyone disgust you? Trump45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? No, my head is all kinda of fucked up and so i am in no type of mental state to be in a relationship46. Are you in a good mood right now? I guess47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My mom48. What color shirt are you wearing? Pink49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Not that I can think of50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Never51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? I want to hate her but I cant52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? Ive wanted to but never thought of actually doing it53. Do you like rain? LOVE IT54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? No but if its out of control then I’m concerned55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Plenty of times56. Do you like to cuddle? Kinda. I like it but im so antsy so i have to move a lot 57. Are you shy? Depends on the situation58. Do you get along with girls? Sometimes59. Have you dated the person you texted last? No, shes my best friend who is straight and dating my guy best friend sooo😂60. What do you carry with you at all times? Hairties 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Dude i would for 5 bucks but only if i wasnt alone62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Yeah, longest relationship was 9 months63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Nope but I was talking to my ex and then she dropped me again surprise surprise🤷🏼♀️64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? YEESSS65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Idk prolly but i cant think of anything66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 17, 17, 1767. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Do them myself68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Zebra 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Dont have a car70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Lil wayne71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? Iphone72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Never73. Do you like diet soda? Not really74. What color are the walls in your room? Green, black, and splatter paint75. Are you 16 or older? 1876. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Yes😻77. Do you have a job? Dishwasher78. What are your initials? ERA79. Did you ever have braces? For 2 years80. Are you from the south? Lmao no im from PA/MD81. What does your last status on facebook say? Idek i havent put up a status in so long82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? No, we kinda just lost touch over the past two yeats83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Equally close w them84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Both and i love them both but dance is my true passion85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Annabelle: Creation and it was fucking terrifying86. Do you smoke? Not cigarettes if thats what you mean 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Converse88. Is your phone touch screen? Yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? In the summer natural waves but during the school year i tend to straighten it a lot90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Nope its literally impossible but ive snuck out of friends houses91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Lake92. Have you ever made out in a car? Nope93. …Had sex in a car? Virgin94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sleeping surprisingly96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? July 2nd during Police Explorers97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Eh sometimes98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Lmao yup99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Yeah😂101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Nope102. Name your favorite Kesha song: tik tok103. Do you have any tan lines right now? Baby ones on my butt104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Nopeee
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okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks
RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE
BASICS:
a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her
b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all
c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy
d. GENDER: cis female hooooh
e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI
f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)
TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x
THE LAST:
1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y
2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted
3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,
4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying
5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server
HAVE YOU:
6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh
7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure
8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao
9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together
10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa
11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please
TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS
12. red
13. yellow
14. either black or lavendar,,
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis
16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,
17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything
18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x
19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s
20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)
21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me
GENERAL
22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)
23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)
24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-
25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)
26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)
27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing
28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI
29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room
30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)
31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)
32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate
33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao
LOST QUESTIONS
34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find
35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?
36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)
37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy
38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long
39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )
40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall
41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to
42. BLOODTYPE: shit i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)
43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo
44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle
45. ZODIAC: virgo
46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)
47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)
48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb
49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right
50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes
51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows
52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji
53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far
54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.
MORE GENERAL
55. EATING: OXYGEn
56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN
57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88 questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c
58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?
59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...
60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm
61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji )
62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS
63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at
64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)
65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to
66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS
67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man
68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship
69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite
HAVE YOUR EVER:
70. KISSED A STRANGER: no
71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope
72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses
73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..
74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3
75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?
76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes
77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah
78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?
79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji
81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?
82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji
83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child
84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess
85. ANGELS: not really lmao
OTHER
86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily
87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?
88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time
only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest
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Bored, Single, and Dead
1. What was on your mind mostly today?
MOVING ON from some people and why my right arm feels fucking wierd
2. If someone looked on your bed, what would they find?
oh shit idkk
3. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?
im going to Tahoe
4. Are you nice to everyone?
no
5. Is it possible to be single and happy?
for me, no
6. Is it easy for people to make you cry?
no but once someone made me cry when I heard them SING for the first time YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE
7. Did you sleep alone last night?
I had a sleepover with my sister
8. Do you play with dead bugs?
ew no wtf
9. Honestly, are you dating two people?
im not even dating one person wth
10. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?
yeah, im going to be dead ass lonely or dead
11. Have you ever slept in the same bed with someone other than family?
nooo
12. Do you want to see somebody right now?
yeaahhhh
13. What if you had a baby with the person you like?
that's not physically possibly
14. Are you happy?
not right now nope
15. Have you ever tripped in public?
trippin is my game
16. Is there anyone who doesn’t like you?
I sometimes think everone secretly hates me
17. Have you ever sat in the back of a police car?
nope
18. Are you stubborn?
veRY
19. Do you tend to hold a grudge?
yeah, and it can get baddd
20. What’s a fact about the last person that texted you?
oh, well.. they're a scammer
21. Has anyone called you perfect before?
nope
22. Where is the biggest scar on your body?
my left ankle. I shaved a huge chunk of my skin off and it was baddddd haha
23. Have you ever been told you were amazing?
no
24. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
immediate no
25. Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?
well guess what YES and its killlling me
26. Do you trust all your friends?
no I cant trust any of them
27. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
haha well yeah
28. What pissed you off today?
my sister scratches up my arms and it looks like ive tried to cut myself or something
29. What was the last thing you cried about?
this one person
30. Who was the last girl you talked to?
^^ same person as ^^
31. Do you know anyone who drinks a lot?
no
32. Who sits next to you in English?
SCHOOLS OUT BITCHES
33. Ever talked to someone who was drunk?
no
34. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
yes everything is about them and its driving me crazy
35. How late did you stay up last night and why?
I stayed up til 12:30 reenacting Stranger Things scenes with gummy bears with my sister.
36. Do you know how to properly use grammar in a sentence?
kinda?
37. Are your parents very protective of you?
yeah
38. Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?
I fukin wish
39. How many drugs are in your system?
can a Capri Sun count
40. The person who hurt you the most calls and needs you, do you go?
bitch no
41. Is it easy to pretend everything’s okay for you?
yeah, I do it every day
42. Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to on the phone?
uh that was my dad, so sure
43. Do you think you are a good person?
oh god no, if hell existed i’d be going there
44. What do you want right this second?
I WANT A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE
45. Do you think it makes him weak if a guy cries?
no
46. Have you ever cried cause you were so mad?
yeah
47. Could you last in a relationship for over a year?
yes
48. Who were you with on your birthday?
i don't really remember or care
49. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I feel like I have but don't remember
50. First person to talk to you in 2014?
how the fuck am I supposed to remember that, it was 3 years ago
51. Do you miss your past?
Not really but I dont regret meeting some sweet ass people
52. It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
a telemarketer, I have like no friends so no one ever checks up on me, by the time someone does I might be dead.
53. Do you have anything interesting planned for the next week?
VIDCON I get to meet Sara Rubin, Ashly Perez, Allison Raskin, Gaby Dunn, Stephanie Frosch, and Bria and Crissy and maybe Simply Nailogical haha
54. Who was the last person to text you?
scammmmmmmmer
55. What were you doing 4 hours ago?
i dont remember
56. Is there a certain song that you can’t stop listening to atm?
Secrets by The Weeknd
57. Tell me 3 things that your friends don’t know about you.
well well well I cant say
58. What is something that people often give to you as a gift?
honestly nothing
59. Do you tend to hold on to a lot of stuff you don’t need, just because it has sentimental value?
yeah then a month later I can get rid of it
60. What is something that reminds you of your ex?
well guess what i havent even dated at all so nop
61. Has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms?
my cat Bub has not cried in my arms
62. Which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?
chocolate
63. When did you last take a shower/bath? Do you wash your hair every time?
I took a shower like 2 hours ago, yeah I was my hair every time.
64. Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now?
yep
65. Do any of your followers on Tumblr have your phone number?
yeahh
66. Will you be going out tonight, or staying in?
staying in listening to Alone by halsey because it’s relatable.
67. How many times have you been in love?
ONCE and maybe I still am but I need to fix it BECAUSE SOMEONE ISNT GOING TO MY HIGH SCHOOL NEXT YEAR and im going to be so fcked and messed up so pray for me
68. If you were heartbroken, who would help you pick up the pieces?
ususally myself of this one friend I have she’s cool and she bacically proved I was bi. No it’s not you olivia sorry dude
69. Apparently, it’s very common to crave chocolate around the ‘time of the month’; do you ever get that craving?
no
70. How would you feel about dating someone who had a reputation for being a player in the past? Do you think that players will ALWAYS be players, or is it possible that they can change?
I’d give them a chance but idk Ive nvr fcking dated at all so whaat
71. Did you sleep well last night?
sure
72. Is your bedroom big enough for you?
sure
72. Are you looking forward to seeing someone soon?
imexited to see Sara Rubin on Friday because she actually screwed up my love life and I dont even want to get started with that because it’s actually funny but will make me cry.
73. Ever had a one-night stand?
nope
74. Is anyone flirting with you?
I wish
75. Have you ever felt pressure to do anything you didn’t want to, like smoking, drinking, or losing your virginity, before you were ready for it? If so, how did you deal with that?
all the time, like when the teacher tells us to do homework like wth hahahahahahaahaha idk
76. Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? Why/why not?
no im really stupid and can have absolutely no common sense its actually really funny
77. Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?
Ashley Nicolette Frangipane
78. Is there anyone you’d HATE to be stuck in a lift with?
oh my god yeah like the chick who plays Enid in the walking dead, and like my whole school.
79. When did you last talk to the person you love/like? What did you talk about?
pff what lemme look... a hour and a half ago ahahahahahah
80. Have you ever seen your father cry?
no
81. How would your parents react if you got pregnant?
well i dont know because I dont really want kids
82. Do you/did you keep to your school’s uniform/dress code?
sure
83. If the last person you kissed said you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?
Bub is a mean cat to my other cats and I wouldnt believe it
84. What was the highlight of your summer?
cant rememeber
85. The last time you threw up, was it because you were hungover?
idk
86. Have you ever seen the film ‘Wake Wood’? What did you think of it?
never heard of it
87. Are you confused about anything atm? Is there anything bothering you? Or, is everything good?
some people and their lies
88. If you say ‘I’ve had enough’ or ‘I’m done’, do you always mean it?
no haha
89. Who was the last person that invited you to their house?
honeslty scammer because I have no other friends
90. Have your parents ever told you about any alternative names they considered for you, or the name they would have chosen, if you’d turned out to be a boy?
ASHLEY
91. Are you friends with any of your exes?
n/a
92. Have you ever had to make an emergency phone call?
no
93. If you’re in a relationship, how is it going? If you’re single, are you looking for someone?
*cries*
94. What language do you like the sound of?
english ;)
95. Think about the last guy, outside of family, that you had a conversation with. Do you find him sexy?
ew no wtf
96. What do you think is an assumption that someone could make about you, just by looking at your Tumblr? Would this assumption be correct?
idk
97. What’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like?
HA I’d rather not write an essay right now
98. Do you consider yourself to be a strong person? Why/why not?
.kindaaa?
99. Tell me about a special moment you’ve had with the person you love/like.
just convos
100. What are you doing tomorrow?
Im going to tahoe
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1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?it’d be weird because i’m ace but i wouldnt mind tbh
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? we’re close friends. it was a recent kiss so?
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? like heroin or meth? probably. but like pot or smth idc.
4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yes. its seven letters.
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? drunk
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? every conversation i have hahahaha
7. What does your last received text say? miss u too
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? fuck if i know
9. Where was your last kiss at? my bed
10. When is the last time you saw your sister? don’t have a sister
11. What do you drink in the morning? typically an energy drink
12. Where did you sleep last night? the extra bed
13. Do you think relationships are hard? yeah, but the right one is worth it, IF you can make it work
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? yeah, i’d probably make myself more clear
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? nah, we’d have a lot of fun
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? warm and thunderstorming
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? nah. i know a lot of people with elise as their middle name and i knew a girl who’s first name was serenity, but no one’s got the MIDDLE name serenity
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? sweatpants
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? damn hopefully
20. Does anyone like you? i think so
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? ya.
22. Is the last person you kissed gay? yes lmao
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? there are a couple
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? i have two and i’m working on saving up for my third so yes
25. In the past week have you cried? i’ve gotten teary eyed but i havent cried cried in like a year lmao
26. What breed was the last dog you saw? on tv: pitbull. irl: whatever the fuck my weirdo mutt is
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of
28. Have you ever kissed a football player? nah
29. Do you think you’re old? nope im a baby
30. Do you like text messaging? yes cause then i can ghost if i need to
31. What type of day are you having? it was fine
32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? i have my septum pierced and i’ve had my nostril so yes
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? warm
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? oh yeah, my two best friends are both dudes
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? my ace ass? take a guess.
36. Are you a simple or complicated person? depends on the day
37. What song are you listening to? i’m watching homeward bound
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? yes, i rarely apologize without meaning it
39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? lmao nah.
40. What made you start liking the person you like now? idk she’s funny as hell. fucking gorgeous. she reciprocated. she’s always been too good for me, and that just made me want to be good enough for her all the more.
41. When did you last receive a text message? 11:37 pm (an hour and 13 minutes ago)
42. What is wrong with you right now? lmao i’m stuck on someone who loves me but isn’t healthy enough to be with me. it’s a fucking mess.
43. How well do you know the last female you texted? pretty well! we dated. we’ve gotten closer since we broke up. there’s a lot i don’t know, but we tell each other things we don’t tell anyone else.
44. Does anyone disgust you? lmao yah
45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? bitch yes
46. Are you in a good mood right now? not really i have a headache
47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my brother i think
48. What color shirt are you wearing? a grey redford shirt (support your local psp by checking out our signature brand of dog food, comparable to taste of the wild and blue buffalo but at a more affordable price :~))
49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? nah not really
50. Anyone you’re giving up on? i’m fucking trying
51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? no. i’m in love with her ass.
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? .........
53. Do you like rain? yes
54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? considering i’m not a controlling, abusive piece of shit, no lmao
55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? nah i usually end up telling the person
56. Do you like to cuddle? yes on a good day. i actually prefer to have my hair played with tho
57. Are you shy? nah
58. Do you get along with girls? yes
59. Have you dated the person you texted last? yes
60. What do you carry with you at all times? my cell phone, my wallet with my keys, my smile :)
61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? fuck yeah. i got loans to pay off shit
62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? with the right person, yes
63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? oct 31, yah
64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? FUCK yes
65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? i mean my cat’s been chillin and that’s always cute. love ha.
66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 18, 19, and 19
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? if i have money to spend, pay to get em done
68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? neither the fuck
69. Do you have any stickers on your car? i had a “stop bigotry” anti trump sticker but someone stole it :(
70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? neither
71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iphone
72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? a couples weeks ago
73. Do you like diet soda? FUCK no. the saccharine is just as bad for you as the sugar and it makes me jittery AND it tastes disgusting
74. What color are the walls in your room? green. ugly.
75. Are you 16 or older? yes
76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? no
77. Do you have a job? yes
78. What are your initials? esb
79. Did you ever have braces? nah
80. Are you from the south? im from va which is technically south but i dont count it :/
81. What does your last status on facebook say? let’s MCFREAKIN LOSE IT (about my mitski concert tickets)
82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? kinda but not really. we talked about trying to date again but then she disappeared off the face of the planet lmao
83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? used to be dad, but i haven’t seen him since like feburary cause he’s a mess. so its mom.
84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? no
85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? get out i think. or rogue one. whatever came out later.
86. Do you smoke? socially
87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? flip flops
88. Is your phone touch screen? yah
89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? however it combs out (wavy ish)
90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? no my mom dgaf if i leave
91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool. i do not fuck with bodies of water other than the ocean, pools, and bathtubs.
92. Have you ever made out in a car? yes
93. …Had sex in a car? no
94. Are you single or in a relationship? who the fuck knows.
95. What were you doing last night at midnight? idr the fcuk
96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? probably fourth of july last year
97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah its fine
98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? no
99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? no
100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? idts
101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? yeah but like a fake one. i thought it was divine conception or whatever. i’m a lesbian lmao
102. Name your favorite Kesha song: tik tok
103. Do you have any tan lines right now? nah idts
104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? for money or laughs, yes probably
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