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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

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Otome Domoyo.: Change 2

Hi, this is Chapter 2 of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

Karen love index for this part: ♥♥♥♡♡

Previous part (Change 1)

Next part (Change 3)

After his morning practice with the Baseball Club had concluded, Sumida Kei changed into his school uniform in the club room before heading towards the school building. It was fifteen minutes before the morning homeroom period began.

Students who had just arrived at school were changing their shoes at the main entrance. He hesitated for a moment when he saw Miura Karen take her shoes out from her shoe locker.

“Good morning.”

When he called out to her, she turned away with her lips pressed into a tight line. She put on her school slippers and quickly left, effectively rejecting any further conversation between them.

As Kei watched Karen leave, he was struck by a solid thump on his back and stumbled.

“She really hates you, huh,” a friend from the same class as Kei, who had just reached the school, teasingly spoke as he slung an arm across Kei’s shoulders. He had probably seen Karen ignore Kei.

“It’s your fault,” Kei frowned as he took out his school slippers from his shoe locker, throwing them to his feet. He removed his sneakers with a sigh.

It had been a mistake to have honestly asked her “Do you have a boyfriend?” due to being egged on by his friends. He ruffled his short hair as he recalled Karen’s cold eyes as she had bluntly told him “That kind of thing disgusts me…” in response.

(Well, there was no delicacy in that whatsoever…)

He did not ask that question just because he had lost in rock-paper-scissors. It was not because his friends had told him to do so. If that had been the case, he would not have asked her that question at all.

(But saying that I wanted to know it myself… sounds like an excuse.)

Kei’s timing, coupled with the way that he had asked the question, had been the worst. It was little wonder why she had an unpleasant look on her face. He did not want to be despised or misunderstood, so when he had seen her leave the school by herself after classes had ended, he called out to her and stopped her.

“I want you to go out with me.”

He did not say those words impulsively, nor did he say them light-heartedly. He had said them because he had honestly thought so. However--- it had only angered her again.

“It’s a nuisance.”

When he recalled those words that she had bluntly thrown at him, his chest ached.

(I’m completely hated by her…)

He had yet to recover from her words, still feeling rather depressed about it.

Kei was often spoken of as a man of few words. He was also described as being difficult to understand as he did not show what he was thinking on his face. That was why he had intended on saying his words as straight as possible, however, he was unable to convey them well to her.

Even if his words had been conveyed, the fact that he had been rejected in the end did not change.

“Well, there are plenty of other girls out there,” Kei’s friend patted him on the back comfortingly as he headed up the stairs.

(There aren’t…)

There may have been other girls, but Karen was the only girl that Kei really wanted to go out with.

She was definitely unaware of it.

The first time he knew of her existence had not been the day that they enrolled in High School. It had been when they were still in Middle School---.

On his way home after his club activities had ended, Kei stopped by a bookstore in front of the train station and scribbled on the test writing paper in the stationery corner.

“CHICO with HoneyWarks is the best!!”

Kei fondly recalled the poorly-written words that he had scribbled with a blue pen. He would always listen to songs by “CHiCO with HoneyWorks” on his way to school, which had been recommended to him by a friend from the Baseball Club.

On that day, he had just become an official member of the Baseball Club, received a new uniform, and participated in practice for the first time, so he had been so happy that he was practically floating on cloud nine.

When he stopped by the bookstore again, he noticed that the scribbles that he had written were corrected with a red pen. A cross was drawn atop his “I” and it was corrected to an “i”, and his “a” was corrected to an “o”. An arrow had been drawn below his words, directing him to a drawing of a panda, which was saying the words “I like them too♡”.

Feeling embarrassed, Kei picked up the same blue pen that he had used previously and immediately wrote a reply. “I misspelled it!! Sorry (cries)”. He also drew a picture of a crying white bear.

He wondered if the person who had written the message to him would see his reply. He had never met them. He did not even know who they were. However, he was sure that they were a nice and kind person. Otherwise, they would not have written a message to him on his embarrassing scribbles that he had written while he was in a good mood.

He returned the pen before leaving the bookstore. Not feeling like taking the train that day, he started to run home, swinging the bag that he used for the Baseball Club as he went. By the time he reached home, the Sun had already set, and he had missed dinner. He also remembered being angrily scolded for it.

Even so, his heart had been beating unbearably fast---.

About two days after that, he saw a girl from another school giggling happily to herself at the stationery corner of the bookstore, a red pen in her hand. The girl, whose fluffy hair was tied up with a yellow ribbon, wrote something down onto the test paper before leaving immediately.

Wondering if she was the one that had written to him, Kei immediately pushed the door open and entered the store, making his way towards the stationery corner where the girl had been standing.

“I forgive you!!”

When Kei saw the message, which was written with a red pen, along with a drawing of a panda holding out a handkerchief, he covered his reddening face with his hand.

So it had been that girl---.

He would never forget the elation and excitement that he had felt when he realised that.

He immediately looked up and searched the store for her, but he could not find her anywhere. He also tried to look for her on a different floor, but they seemed to have missed each other. In the end, he was unable to speak to her that day, and he had no choice but to leave the bookstore.

From that day on, Kei started to check the inside of the bookstore through the door as he walked past it on his way back from his club activities, wanting to see her again. She had been wearing the school uniform of a different school, but he could not find her there because he did not know where her school was.

After that, the messages that they had written on the test writing paper saw no new additions, and the paper was replaced with a new sheet before he knew it.

There had been several times when Kei had picked up a pen with the intention of writing a message in the hopes that the girl would see it. However, being at a loss for what to write, he would ultimately return the pen without writing anything down. He had repeated this several times.

He had given up his hopes of ever seeing her again---.

Kei had been so surprised to see Karen in the same class as him on the day of the entrance ceremony of High School. He was so happy to learn her name, the Middle School that she had attended, and the fact that they were in the same grade. Just that alone made him stupidly happy.

However, when she became a High School student, she did not wear that ribbon anymore, nor did she smile happily any longer. Even when she was with her friends, she only seemed to smile awkwardly, as if to mask her true feelings.

“Not wanting to be hated, huh…” Kei mumbled as he recalled her words while he climbed the stairs. She had also said that she did not want to stand out.

He did not know her circumstances. However, her voice at that time seemed to pierce his chest, and it ached painfully---.

He wondered if he should have told her that he had seen her at the bookstore. However, that would only have served to inform her that he had known of her. She probably had no idea that he was watching her. Back then, he had thoughts about going out with her, even though he did not even know her name yet.

If he told her about that, he would probably be rejected again with a “You’re gross.”.

Since they had been in their First Year of Middle School then, she may not even remember writing on a test writing paper at the bookstore. It had probably been an insignificant occurrence to her.

Kei headed to the classroom and opened the door to the lively voices of his classmates.

“Ah, good morning, Sumida,” a girl sitting by the door called out to him.

“Good morning,” he greeted her in return as he headed for his seat. When he reached it, his friends, who had been chatting nearby, gathered around him.

“Hey, on our way back today, let’s drop by Sakuragaoka High School! There are many cute girls there.”

“I have club activities,” Kei replied bluntly, dumbfounded by his friend’s words.

As he sat down in his chair, he glanced over at Karen’s seat. She was sitting there, looking out of the window while resting her cheek against her palm. Her two friends were chatting happily in the seat in front of hers. Whenever they spoke to her, she would chime in with a forced smile.

Then, her gaze suddenly shifted towards Kei. She seemed to have noticed that she was being watched. She frowned deeply and immediately looked away to the side.

(She hates me… doesn’t she…)

Kei figured that the outcome of the game had been fixed, even before he could throw a single pitch. He sighed heavily.

After school, he changed into his baseball uniform and gathered in the schoolyard, where a meeting was held. Following that, they paired up to do their stretches, after which, the members who had completed their stretches were to run around the perimeter.

As it had rained in the afternoon, the soil was still damp. As the rain clouds had dispersed, the sky was bright and clear, with white clouds drifting about.

Kei, who had finished his stretches and was preparing to run, suddenly turned towards the fence. Karen, who had stopped walking and was looking at him, immediately looked down as she quickly walked towards the main gate.

His manager, who had been watching him stand by the bench for a while, walked over to him, a ball basket in her hands. She put her seemingly heavy basket down onto the bench and straightened her posture as she looked at Kei.

“What’s wrong, Sumida?”

“Senpai… have you ever felt uncomfortable when you were confessed to?” he asked after thinking it over for a moment.

His upperclassman’s eyes widened. “Hmm… It depends? If the person is someone you dislike, or if they have an unpleasant attitude, it may feel rather uncomfortable to be confessed to by them,” she replied with her arms crossed, before tilting her head in confusion. “Why do you ask?”

“...It’s nothing. Excuse me. I’m heading off to the perimeter,” Kei tugged his hat on tightly as he started to run with the other members.

“Take care,” his upperclassman waved at him as she saw him off.

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#sumida kei #miura karen #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

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Otome Domoyo.: Change 8

Hi, this is Chapter 8 of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

Chisalt index for this part: ★★★★★★

Previous part (Change 7)

Next part (Ending)

-One-

It was the first week of May.

With classes having ended for the day, Chisa and Karen remained alone with each other in the otherwise empty classroom, which was dyed in a shade of red, owing to the sunset that had filtered through the glass window. They could hear the distant voices of students who were participating in club activities in the schoolyard, as well as the slightly far-off voices of the students who were conversing as they walked through the corridor.

“You’re really good at drawing, Chisa.”

Chisa, who had been drawing a picture of a character in her notebook, stopped the movement of her mechanical pencil upon hearing Karen’s voice. Karen, who was facing Chisa while sitting in the seat in front of hers, smiled happily when she saw the picture of the boy character.

“Ah, I love this scene,” Karen pointed at the notebook. It was a depiction of a scene in which a crying boy was being comforted by another boy, who had placed a hand on his cheek.

“Being treated gently like this is pretty exciting, isn’t it?”

“Boys who do this kind of thing don’t exist in reality. Especially ones who do chin tilts.”

“That’s true… But, I’d like to experience it just once.”

“...Why don’t you ask your boyfriend to do it?”

Karen suddenly blushed deeply and waved her hand in dismissal. “It’s impossible!”

Karen and Sumida Kei had been dating each other since the end of their Second Year. The reason why Karen had stayed back after school was because she was waiting for her boyfriend’s club activities to end. They were always together, ever since they became Third Year students.

(I’m just killing time, though…)

Chisa looked down and continued to draw the picture in her notebook.

“Chisa, if that was done to you… what would you do?”

“By a real boy?” Chisa asked, without stopping her hand.

“Yeah,” Karen nodded, her face still reddened.

Chisa looked out of the window, as though she was giving her question some thought. “I’d slap him.”

“What if your heart pounds and you fall in love with him on the spot? If he’s a great person, that is,” Karen grinned, resting both of her elbows on Chisa’s desk. The corners of her glossy lips, which had been painted with lip gloss, were lifted in happiness.

“...Then, shall we give it a try?”

“Eh, right here and… now?”

“Will you be able to recite the lines of the light novel properly?” Chisa asked a little meanly.

“Eeh~!” Karen blurted out in a panic. “I wonder if I managed to remember them properly…?”

“It’ll be fine as long as they’re somewhat similar.”

“Then, here I go…” Karen dragged out her chair and raised her body a little, before leaning forward.

“Don’t cry. Seeing you sad makes me…” Karen spoke with a serious expression on her face, reaching for Chisa’s cheek while looking straight at her. Just before her fingers touched Chisa’s cheek, she stopped. She continued to look at Chisa without saying the line that followed that. An awkward grin spread across her face.

“Sorry, I forgot how it went…”

“That did not make my heart pound in the slightest.”

“Give me another chance? I’ll say the lines properly this time,” Karen begged, pressing her palms together.

Chisa glanced at her before replying with a look of exasperation on her face. “Do it with your boyfriend instead.”

“I can’t do that…” Karen mumbled after being at a loss for words for a moment. She puffed her red cheeks out as she sulked. “But I can do it because we’re friends… because it’s with you, Chisa…”

Chisa looked up to see Karen with an embarrassed smile on her face.

(Because we’re friends, huh…)

Karen’s fingers, which she had stopped in place earlier, were gently tracing Chisa’s cheek. It was a gesture of wiping tears away, much like how the scene in the light novel had played out.

Karen’s eyes, which were looking at Chisa from up close, were of the same gentle and warm colour as the setting sun.

“The colour of your eyes is beautiful… I really love it,” Karen smiled serenely.

At her sudden words, Chisa’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at Karen. The word that eventually managed to make its way out of Chisa’s throat was a confused “...Huh?”.

“Karen, my club activities are over,” Kei called out as he peeked into the classroom.

Karen immediately turned around with an elated smile on her face. “Kei!”

“Then, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Karen stood up and left the seat, leaving Chisa behind.

“Sorry, we ended late because there was a meeting.”

“No, it’s fine. I had fun because Chisa was with me.”

Chisa pressed a hand to her cheek as she listened to the increasingly distant voices of the couple as they moved away from the classroom, feeling as though she had suddenly contracted a fever. The sound of her rapidly hastening heartbeat echoed throughout her body.

(...What is the meaning of this?)

Chisa stroked her cheek with her fingers in the same way that Karen had done earlier, and turned her face down.

(Could she have noticed it…?)

Chisa immediately redirected her line of thought. “That can’t possibly be it…”

Karen was definitely unaware of it. She definitely thought that Chisa had only thought of her as a “friend”. They were neither more nor less than friends. There was no way that Karen was conscious of the fact that Chisa had viewed her as a special partner.

Even so, Karen had behaved in such a suggestive manner with Chisa.

Chisa wondered if Karen had only done it because she was oblivious to everything. Because they were just friends—.

Chisa closed her notebook and hugged it to her chest as she stood up. Peeking out of the window while standing behind a pillar, she saw Karen and Kei walking together. Her expression darkened when she saw that their hands were naturally intertwined with each other’s.

(What’s so good… about that guy?)

Chisa spat out as such in her heart as she looked away from them.

She knew. She knew that the muddy feelings that mixed in with her irritation to erode away at her chest were just feelings of jealousy.

He was cool, an active member of the Baseball Club, and he was kind and gentle, just like the protagonist of a sports manga. If a guy like that had such single-minded and strong feelings for Karen, it was inevitable that she would end up falling for him as well.

It was no wonder that Karen had chosen to be with Kei. Chisa had a feeling that it would have happened in the not-too distant future, and she was fairly unsurprised when Karen had called her to tell her that they had started to date.

All she had felt at that time was emptiness, and a feeling of loneliness, as though she had been betrayed.

However, she knew that it was wrong of her to feel as though she had been betrayed. It was also wrong of her to blame Karen for it.

Karen had just wanted to share a happy event with her. Chisa was an important friend of hers, so she had just wanted her to be the first to know about it—.

The thought that it would end up hurting Chisa instead had probably never crossed Karen’s mind. Even at present, she remained oblivious to it.

That was why, that innocence and kindness of hers was— so cruel.

☆◯☆

“I’m different from what you’ve said about me… Besides, I’m not going to give Miura up.”

Such were the words that Kei had said with a serious expression on his face during the Summer of their Second Year. They had been at a fast food restaurant, where they had stopped by with Karen. Chisa had found his words to be infuriatingly honest, without a single sense of doubt in them.

Had Kei been a more helpless guy, Chisa would have been able to dissuade Karen by saying “That guy’s no good for you.”. If he still persisted in his pursuit of Karen, Chisa would have used force against him.

When Karen was with Kei, she would smile happily. She was different from the girl who had always been alone during their Second Year. She already had someone who could protect and reassure her. The girls who had ignored her were no longer her classmates, and no one harassed her any more.

When they became Third Year students, the number of classmates who would talk to Karen increased. Chisa often saw her chatting happily and laughing with them as of late.

(She doesn’t need me anymore, does she…)

Even so, for some unknown reason, Karen still tried to stay by Chisa’s side. Chisa wondered if Karen thought that it would be insincere of her to immediately switch to being with someone else, just because she had found someone else who she could talk to easily.

The reason why Chisa had no intentions of joining the group up till that present moment was because she found such kinds of conjectures and constraints to be a bother.

Chisa did not want Karen to force herself to stay with her. She wished that Karen would just leave her be—.

That night, having finished her dinner alone without waiting for her parents, who returned late, Chisa returned to her bedroom and headed for her desk. She drew a picture of a girl with fluffy hair that was tied up with a ribbon on a blank page of her notebook. She subconsciously traced the line of the girl’s hair with her mechanical pencil in an absentminded daze.

“The colour of your eyes is beautiful… I really love it.”

Chisa was unable to get the image of Karen’s smile as she touched Chisa’s cheek out of her mind, finding herself constantly thinking about it as she walked home, and even after she had reached home.

Stopping her hand that had been drawing the picture, Chisa gently touched her own cheek. Feeling as though the sensation of Karen’s hand was still lingering there, her cheeks heated up.

(What am I doing… It’s not like that at all…)

Karen’s eyes, which had been looking at Chisa from up close, had a faint orange glow to them.

Karen’s words, as well as her gesture of touching Chisa’s cheek, contained no deeper meaning to them. She had just been playing around with a friend—.

That was all it was to her. Normally, they would just laugh together at the end of it, but—.

Even so, Chisa had gotten worked up about it because it had seemed so special. Ever since she met Karen, her heart had been wavering, and her mind had been spinning.

Why am “I” not good enough—.

Chisa could walk home together with Karen, she could drop by a bookstore with her after school, and she could meet up with her on their day off as well. Karen did not necessarily need to have a boyfriend for that.

Every time she saw Karen happily hold hands with Kei as they headed home together, feelings of unhappiness and loneliness rose up within her. She did not know how to drown those thoughts out.

Chisa looked down at her incomplete drawing. It was a picture of a girl, who had her hair tied with a ribbon, gently hugging a short-haired girl from behind. They were not characters from a light novel or manga, like the ones that she would usually draw. They were original characters of hers. They did not even have names. She had just drawn them on the spur of the moment.

She tore out the page, crumpling it with a sigh of irritation.

A world that was kind, fair, and in which no one got hurt did not exist. It would be a mistake to have expectations for such a world.

Everyone was desperately fighting for just that one love that they had. No matter who they were, everyone wanted to become special to someone—.

The Chisa of the past would have just laughed it off as complete nonsense. However, the present Chisa was unable to laugh at it at all. She had become one such person herself.

(I should be happy with just being her friend… what more could I possibly ask for?)

There was nothing more painful than asking for something unattainable.

If that was so, she should just let go of it with an “I don’t need it.”. She should just throw it away.

Chisa wrapped her hands around the rolled-up piece of paper, lowering her head as she bit her lip strongly.

Even though she knew it, her heart refused to let go. It had felt so painful because she was unable to do so. She felt as though she was unable to breathe—.

I need “you”.

Such were the words that she was unable to say to Karen.

-Two-

The next morning, having changed into her school uniform in her sleep-deprived state, Chisa put her bag onto her desk to get ready for the day. At that moment, she noticed a ticket holder, which was sandwiched between her notebooks. She picked it up and took out the two tickets that were inside of it.

They were tickets for the stage play of the light novel that Karen also liked. During the first production of the stage play, Karen had managed to get tickets for it, which allowed them to watch it together. It had taken place in the previous year—.

The second production of the stage play would be held that Summer.

“Will Karen… want to go…?”

The stage play would be performed during their Summer vacation. Chisa kept it a secret that she had bought the tickets, as she wanted to surprise Karen. She had not told her about it yet.

Chisa returned the tickets to the ticket holder, which she then shoved into a pocket of her bag, before leaving her room.

That day, after school, Chisa stayed behind in the classroom, drawing a male character, who had appeared in a light novel, in her notebook. She stilled her hand and pulled out the ticket holder, which she had sandwiched between the pages of her notebook.

“Chisa, I’m sorry for being late.”

When she heard Karen’s voice, Chisa immediately hid the ticket holder, amidst her surprise. As she drew the hair of the male character while leaning her cheek against her palm, Karen walked up to her.

Waiting for Karen to sit down in the seat in front of hers, Chisa finally raised her head. “Were you at the staff room?”

Karen had immediately left the classroom the moment their lessons had ended. As such, Chisa concluded that she had been called out by their homeroom teacher.

“Yup. Our teacher wanted to talk to me about my university choices.”

“...Hmm…”

“Come to think of it, a new volume of the light novel series is going to be out soon, right? Did you make a reservation for it, Chisa?”

“...How about you, Karen?”

“I’ve already made mine. The illustration card that comes as a purchase bonus is very pretty. There’s also going to be a stage play in the Summer… I wonder if they’ll be having a collaboration cafe again?” Karen chatted happily as she took out her manga from her bag.

“Karen… have you gotten your tickets… for the stage play?” Chisa asked, with her eyes still trained down onto her notebook.

“I want to go, but… Kei’s matches overlap with it. It’s his last Summer with the team.”

At Karen’s disappointed words, Chisa’s hand, which had been clicking away as she pushed out more lead from her mechanical pencil, stilled.

(What’s with that…)

Sumida Kei was going to retire from the Baseball Club once the Summer tournament had ended. Owing to that, it seemed that his practice had become more intense than ever before, and there were many days when he was dismissed from his club late. He also seemed to have club activities from dawn till dusk on weekends. It did not look like he was able to go on dates with Karen, but she was still happy to walk home with him every day.

“How about you, Chisa? Are you going?”

“I’m not going… I don’t have tickets or anything.”

“...I wish I could go together with you,” Karen said, sighing dejectedly.

Even if Chisa invited Karen to the stage play, her boyfriend would come first—.

Chisa disliked the lines of the face she had drawn, so she rubbed it out with her eraser. She drew it again, but it did not turn out the way that she wanted it to, and the pile of eraser dust continued to grow on her desk.

Karen looked at Chisa with an expression of disappointment on her face. “You’re erasing it?”

“Hmm… I can’t get into the flow of it.”

“Chisa, you don’t draw many pictures of girls, do you?”

Chisa’s hand stopped when she heard Karen’s casually spoken words. “...I’m not good at it. I can’t draw cute things…”

“I wonder about that… I think it’ll definitely be cute, though,” Karen laughed innocently.

“...Karen… what kind of girl would you like?”

“I…”

As Chisa brushed away the eraser dust, Karen looked at her with the same sunset-coloured eyes as the previous day.

“A girl like you, Chisa… I guess?”

“...But I’m not cute or anything.”

“You’re cute. Chisa… your eyes are beautiful, and your lips are small and glossy…” Karen reached out a hand, as though she was entranced. “How nice…”

Immediately before Karen’s hand touched Chisa’s lips, an image of her holding hands with Kei in a friendly manner as they walked home together flashed across Chisa’s mind.

“Stop it!!” Chisa instinctively shouted as she stood up, forcefully shoving aside the notebook and pens that were on her desk as she did so. The sounds of her chair and desk echoed throughout the classroom, followed by a stifling silence.

Karen’s eyes were blown wide open, as though she was taken aback.

Surprised by her own outburst, Chisa bit her lip and clenched her fists so strongly that her nails dug into her skin.

“You’re really thoughtless, you know…!! Don’t you know that that suggestive attitude of yours hurts others?! Do you think that you’ll be easily forgiven, just because you’re unaware of it, just because you have no ill intentions behind doing it?! You have no delicacy at all.”

The words that Chisa had no intentions of saying spilled out of her mouth, with her being unable to stop them.

“Chisa… I’m sor…” Karen looked at Chisa, who had raised her voice in anger, in confusion.

“So what? Did you think that everyone would be happy for you when you told them that you got a boyfriend?! Aren’t you sorely mistaken?!!” Chisa’s raised voice resounded through the classroom.

“That’s not it, I didn’t think that at all… That’s not what I meant!”

“Then, just what did you mean?!” Chisa shot back forcefully.

Karen fell silent, her words getting clogged up in her throat.

“You’re fine with anyone, aren’t you…?!” Chisa spat, keeping her gaze locked onto her own feet.

“Chisa, listen to me…!!”

“I’m sorry…” Chisa choked out as she looked down, knitting her eyebrows together. “I… have never thought of you as a friend, Karen… even now… I’ve never thought of you in that way…”

Chisa was sure that Karen would not understand her words—.

“Chisa… wait… Chisa!!”

Shaking off Karen’s voice that seemed to be pursuing her, Chisa bit her lip as she dashed out of the classroom.

She had just wanted someone to be with her. That was all she wanted.

She was no longer needed, was she—.

Karen no longer had a reason to be by her side.

She wondered why Karen still came up to her.

Karen had many other people who she could hang out with to dispel her loneliness.

So, she wondered, why “me”.

It was painful—.

It was hard—.

Just stop it already—.

She wondered how much longer she would have to endure it.

She no longer wanted to see Karen head home with her boyfriend, nor did she want to hear her talk about her boyfriend—.

(Just how hurt should I be each and every time…)

Had they just been normal friends, Chisa definitely would not have felt that way. She wanted to be what Karen called a “friend”. She had tried to be. However, it was now impossible for her.

The heavy and unpleasant feelings that had built up in her chest made her feel nauseous.

Entering the otherwise empty bathroom, Chisa rushed into a cubicle and shut the door. She took many deep breaths as she looked up at the ceiling. Even so, the feeling of suffocation did not dispel.

“Save me…” Chisa’s words leaked from her mouth breathily.

Her knees weakening, Chisa leaned her back against the door and looked down.

Save me—.

“Chisa…?” Karen’s voice anxiously called out from the entrance of the bathroom.

Chisa pursed her lips tightly.

Why did Karen chase her—.

“Chisa… um… listen to me…”

As Chisa remained wordless, the sound of Karen’s footsteps edged closer to her. She seemed to have come to a stop in front of the closed cubicle that Chisa was in.

After a short moment of silence, Karen began to speak again. “...I’m not fine with just anyone.”

A soft knock was heard from the outside, seeming to have been because Karen had touched the door.

“I… I have a lot of fun when I’m with you, Chisa. It makes me really happy… It’s not that I’m fine with anyone else. I’m fine with you, Chisa… I want to be together with you…”

Karen’s voice, which permeated through the door, was soft and trembling. She seemed to be trying to suppress the urge to cry.

Chisa opened her mouth slightly, but she bit down on her lip hard to discourage herself from speaking.

“But I… I didn’t understand your feelings, Chisa… I did something terrible to you, didn’t I… I’m sorry… I won’t blame you if you… feel like we can’t be friends anymore…” Karen said dejectedly.

She got it wrong, that was not how it was at all.

See, Karen really did not understand anything at all—.

“But, Chisa… I want to understand you properly… Is it bad for me to think so?”

“I’m sure that we’ll never be able to understand each other… Karen, what you and I feel are two different things… that will never be the same…” Chisa finally spoke, clenching her fists tightly.

(Because, Karen already… has the most important person in her life…)

“Even so, I still want to be together with you, Chisa,” Karen voiced out clearly.

Chisa raised her head slightly.

“Understanding each other… is not easy, just as you said. I honestly don’t know… why you got angry earlier, Chisa. All I know is that I have no delicacy… That’s all I know…”

“But, you know,” Karen continued. “I didn’t say anything that I didn’t mean. It’s the truth. I admire you, Chisa. You’re cute, you’re strong… I’ve always wanted to be like you. Ever since we first talked.”

Karen fell silent, as though she was looking for the right words to say. Chisa merely remained quiet.

“I’ve… never been good at making friends… I’ve made so many mistakes, so… I don’t want to make the same mistakes again,” Karen said, before continuing to speak without a single hint of hesitation in her voice. “I don’t want to lose a precious friend of mine anymore.”

Chisa found her overflowing tears running down her cheeks without her realising it. They trailed onto her lips, which she had still been biting, and rolled off, drop by drop. Her chest ached painfully.

A precious friend—.

Had they been true friends, Chisa would have been able to bless Karen with a heartfelt smile and a “Good for you, congrats.” when she had gotten a boyfriend. However, she had feelings of wishing that their happy relationship would collapse and come to an end instead.

Chisa wondered if Karen would still call her a “precious friend” if she found out that she felt that way.

She could not show that ugly side of herself to Karen.

Even so, she still wanted to be with Karen—.

(I can’t say it, can I… I can’t say it…)

However, Chisa had already found it to be too painful to be friends with Karen, all while looking away from her own murky feelings.

The truth was, Chisa really wanted Karen to understand her—.

The one who was trying to look good with her pride and vanity was Chisa “herself”. She had strongly felt that she was fine by herself. However, she was so afraid of getting hurt that she had desperately built walls around herself, just so that she would not have to deal with anyone else.

Karen had said that Chisa was strong. She had said as such in the past as well. “You’re strong, Chisa.” she had said, smiling proudly for some unknown reason.

(You’re wrong. I’m not strong at all…)

Rather than being strong, Chisa just did not want to admit that she was weak. She really wished that she did not know that that side of her existed.

She did not realise that she really was lonely. Once she knew of the security and of the warmth of being by someone’s side, she did not want to let go of it. She wanted Karen to be by her side, and exclusively by her side, instead of being by someone else’s.

She used to be alone in the past, but that had been because she was afraid to know the pain of loss.

“Karen, it’s your fault that… I’ve become this weak…” Chisa found the weak whine escaping her lips. She wanted to laugh at this pathetic version of herself. She wondered just when she had become so fragile.

“Because you entered my heart without permission, Karen… I’ve already become… useless without you… What are you going to do about this?”

“I’m the same as you… Is that bad?” Karen asked gently in return.

(Karen really is… unfair…)

Chisa found herself smiling as she looked up at the ceiling.

Karen was unfair, and gentle—.

Chisa did not know what the definition of a friend was. That was why she did not know where the boundaries lay between what a “friend” was and was not.

She wondered if she should call that heavy feeling of hers “friendship” or “love”—.

She was sure that it would not matter which one it was. The interpersonal connections between people were all vague and uncertain.

“Hey… Karen… Can I stay by your side?” Chisa asked in a whisper as she leaned against the door.

“...Yeah… I also want you to be near me, Chisa.”

(Aah… Even though I was so confident in those walls that I’d built up around me…)

Chisa could not believe that those walls were shattered so easily, and that the trespasser was forgiven just like that.

Chisa turned around to unlock and open the door.

Karen was smiling at her, as though she had been waiting for her.

“What a bothersome girl,” Chisa muttered to herself.

“Eh?” Karen’s eyes widened.

Chisa smiled and extended a hand to Karen, which she took in hers. Pressing their palms together, they smiled a little as they held each other’s hands.

It was warm. That feeling of warmth, and the feeling of security of being by Karen’s side was something that Chisa already knew—.

(But, Karen… the truth is…)

—Chisa was happy that her walls were destroyed.

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#takano chisa #miura karen #sumida kei #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

Text

Otome Domoyo.: Change 5

Hi, this is Chapter 5 of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

Chisalt index for this part: ★★★★★

Previous part (Change 4)

Next part (Change 6)

-One-

After the short Spring break, those boring and tedious days made their return again.

Takano Chisa sat at her desk with an expression of complete boredom, thinking that the fact that her classmates had changed as they entered their Second Year of High School did not matter to her at all.

After the homeroom period ended, everyone else left the classroom as they did not have any lessons that day. Chisa, too, had entertained thoughts about heading straight home, but she wanted to finish her drawing first. She was just passing time.

Having been unable to draw to her liking, she sighed and rubbed it out with her eraser. She had been drawing a picture of two boys, who were characters from her favourite light novel.

“What a nerd…” a boy muttered as he passed by, having caught a glimpse of her drawing. When Chisa glared at him in discomfort, he quickly ran away in shock.

(Shut up… this is fine, isn’t it… things like this.)

Chisa wondered why other people had felt the need to make remarks about her activities. She had not been bothering anyone. If what she drew made them uncomfortable, all they had to do was to not look at it. If they had the free time to butt in on the works of others, they should just make better use of their time and concentrate on memorising even a single word of their English vocabulary instead.

Chisa drove out the excessive feelings of irritation out of her mind and redrew the lines on the face she had erased.

No matter where she went, there would be idiots who would say pointless things, so she found no point in caring about them. She had learned as much a long time ago. They had neither literacy nor delicacy, so they did not mind trespassing into the territories of others. She had thus decided to ignore them, or, if they got too unbearable, to physically drive them off.

However, even though she had chased the boy off, Chisa was unable to completely shake off her feelings of discomfort, with wrinkles forming between her eyebrows. The hand that she had been using to draw the hair of her characters stopped moving, and she found herself unable to proceed from there. Her concentration had been completely broken.

At that moment, Chisa heard a reserved voice call out from the back of the classroom. “Um… do you have a moment?”

It was a girl from her class who wore a red ribbon. Chisa did not remember her name, nor had she planned to remember her name from the very beginning. She had never intended on talking to her anyway. She turned her gaze to the girl for a moment, before returning it to her notebook.

Most of the other students had left, so the only ones remaining in the classroom were Chisa, the girl with the red ribbon, and two girls who were chatting with each other.

“I was told to collect the printouts that are due today…”

Ignoring the girl who was talking to them, the two girls stood up from their seats.

“Rie, I have something that I wanna buy today, so let’s head out together.”

“Sure. Come to think of it, a new CD was just released.”

Talking happily to each other, the two girls quickly left the classroom. The girl who was left behind looked down as she remained standing where she was.

An awkward atmosphere filled the quiet classroom.

Chisa had no interest in the affairs of others. They did not matter to her. However, being in the small classroom together with them, she was able to see it even if she did not want to.

(That girl… Come to think of it, she was all alone at the Sports Festival, right?)

Chisa did not know the girl well as they were in different classes during their First Year. However, she remembered seeing her eat her lunch alone in the back garden during the Sports Festival. The red ribbon that she used to tie her hair had left a strong impression on Chisa—.

During the relay event that was held in the afternoon, the girl had been laughed at for dropping the baton. However, it had been because a girl in her class had deliberately released the baton before she had gotten a proper grip on it.

There would always be one or two people that would be hated no matter where one went. It was not an unusual situation.

(Well, that goes for me as well…)

Ever since she was in Elementary School, Chisa’s classmates did not talk to her. Even if they tried to talk to her, she would either ignore them or chase them away, so no one dared to approach her any longer. She did not mind it, nor did it bother her. She found it more uncomfortable to hang out and be all chummy with someone else.

When people gathered together in groups, they would speak ill of others to satisfy their fragile egos, or say words like “We’re friends, aren’t we?” to feel secure in the cages that they had created. Just thinking about that made Chisa feel sick.

In actuality, when Chisa had been an Elementary School student, she would occasionally feel ill and rush towards the bathroom, which had prompted some of her classmates to give her unpleasant nicknames and to make fun of her. If they did not shut up, she would take matters into her own hands, and shove either her fist or a rag into their mouths. Eventually, her classmates became so afraid of her that no one would say anything to her face.

Owing to that, no one lingered around Chisa, but she found it to be more comfortable that way. She could do as she pleased, without having the need to “play friends” with others.

That was why Chisa had never had a single friend, and she did not even know what it was like to have friends. She had never learned the definition of what a friend was in school. She found humans to be troublesome creatures.

She was sure that the correct answer would be to remain uninvolved with others.

After all, she did not know what people were saying about her behind her back—.

Chisa leaned her cheek against her palm as she glanced out of the window.

She did not care at all—.

The girl was looking down beside the desk without moving a single step. Chisa wondered if she was feeling depressed because she had been ignored. If that was the case, the girl should not have talked to them from the very beginning.

The teacher may have asked that girl to collect the printouts, but the blame for failing to submit it despite being instructed to fell onto the two of them, so they deserved to be called out by the teacher on a later date. When that happened, that girl should just pull an expression of feigned innocence. Such would have been what Chisa would have done.

If the two of them complained to that girl afterwards, she should just say “It’s your fault for not submitting it when you were told to do so.”, and that would be the end of it. Chisa found that girl rather stupid for calling out kindly to them, and feeling depressed when she was ignored.

Chisa thought of that girl as the walking definition of a goody two shoes, since that was exactly what she looked like. She felt that she could sympathise more with the two girls who left. That girl looked to be the type of good-natured person who subconsciously got on peoples’ nerves.

(I’d be bad at handling her too… Like, what’s with the ribbon…?)

Chisa figured that the girl may have thought of herself as a “tragic heroine”, like the ones that appeared in girls’ manga.

(Well… I do think it’s cute, but…)

That girl looked like a doll, and her hair was fluffy. That was probably why she was hated. Out of envy.

She was hated because she had something that others were unable to attain, no matter how much they wished for it, no matter how much they tried to get it. The fact that they were envious of her could not be helped.

Chisa wanted to ridicule them for their ugly actions. No matter how envious they were, no matter how much they harassed that girl, they were neither able to become her, nor able to become wonderful people in their own rights—.

(But… the same goes for me, huh…)

Chisa was unable to say that there were no small tinges of envy amidst her feelings of disinterest towards that girl. She was not the least bit cute, unlike that girl. She had never had a hairstyle that looked good with a ribbon. It had nothing to do with cuteness or beauty. She had never been told such a thing by anyone.

(I don’t particularly want to be told such a thing, though…)

“...That’s amazing.”

Chisa instinctively turned around at the sudden voice by her side. She quickly pulled her notebook close to her, shutting it to hide its contents. In the process, her elbow hit her pencil case, sending it tumbling to the ground.

That girl was standing next to her desk. She blinked in surprise as she bent down to reach for the scattered pens.

“Wha-what?!”

Chisa had not realised that the girl was standing so close to her, nor had she expected that she would call out to her. Her face tensed slightly as she found herself blurting out as such in her agitation.

“Here…” that girl picked up the fallen pens and the pencil case, holding them out to Chisa, who snatched them away from her.

“Ah… I’m sorry…” that girl apologised softly, her gaze drifting downwards as though she was depressed. It was the same expression she had made when she had been ignored by the two girls earlier.

Feeling as though she had done something terrible, Chisa grew irritated.

(She’s making that expression of a “tragic heroine” again…)

Chisa figured that the girl thought of herself as pitiful. She wondered if the girl knew that that conspicuous attitude of hers was what made others hate her. If she did not know it, Chisa considered the thought of telling it clearly to her, but she felt as though doing such a thing would be unnecessary. She felt that it would be best to not get involved with someone who seemed to be troublesome.

Chisa grabbed her bag, which she had hung next to her desk, and pushed her notebook and pencil case into it. She gripped the handle of her bag and stood up, pushing that girl away as she left her seat.

“Wait, Takano!”

Chisa involuntarily came to a halt when her name was called. She was a little surprised that the girl had remembered her name, even though they were just classmates.

Chisa had never made an effort to remember the names of others. They would be changing classes in a year anyway, thus it would have been pointless for her to do so. Once they graduated, she would never meet them again. They were just allocated to the same class for the time being. She was not bothered by the fact that she did not know the names of others, as she would not even call out to them in the first place.

Chisa turned around to see that girl holding onto her shirt. The girl’s expression morphed into one of surprise as she immediately removed her hand and hid it behind her back. Her lips, which were shiny and glossy with a hint of lip gloss, moved. “I’m sorry.”

(What’s… this girl’s name again…?)

There was no way for Chisa to recall it. She did not even try to remember it from the very beginning.

Chisa regained a little of her composure before replying to the girl in a low voice. “...What is it?”

“Takano, you haven’t… submitted the printout either.”

When the girl said that, Chisa finally remembered the printout that she had shoved into her bag. Having no room to talk about others, she pressed a hand to her forehead in resignation.

That girl’s gaze drifted downwards as she waited. She seemed to be serious about it. She probably thought that she could not leave until she had collected all of the printouts and submitted them to the staff room.

Chisa wondered why the girl did not just leave it as that. It was just an errand that the teacher had asked of her—.

Chisa heaved a sigh as she retrieved the printout from her bag and gave it to the girl. “Here.”

That girl looked relieved as she received it from Chisa. “Thank you.”

She had a soft smile on her face, remaining completely defenseless without any sense of caution.

(Why is she smiling…?)

Chisa did not understand her at all. She furrowed her brow as she came to the conclusion that she was bad at dealing with that girl after all. She felt as though she was looking at a strange and unfamiliar creature.

That girl had not received a present at a birthday party or anything. It was just a printout. Even if she collected all of the printouts and submitted them to the teacher, her value would not increase. It would be more expected for her to look bothered, as opposed to the happy expression that she now sported on her face.

“...Is that all?” Chisa asked without hiding her annoyance.

“Ah, yeah…” the tone of that girl’s voice dropped.

They had nothing to talk about. There was no reason for them to continue to speak to one another. She was just one person among their many classmates. Even so—.

“Um… Takano.”

Chisa felt a sense of irritation when that girl called out to her again as she was about to leave the classroom. Not bothering with a verbal reply, she merely looked towards her.

Even though that girl had stopped Chisa again, she was hesitating for an unknown reason, without telling Chisa what she needed her for.

“What is it?” Chisa asked with a frown on her face. She should have just ignored the girl, but she would have just made that expression of a “tragic heroine” again. It would have also made her feel as though she was bullying someone weaker than she was.

That girl was standing by Chisa’s desk, looking as though she was at a loss for what to do.

“Are you gonna confess to me or something?” Chisa asked sarcastically, owing to the fact that the girl had not given her a quick reply.

That girl raised her head and opened her mouth, as though she had made up her mind. “What you were drawing earlier… were characters from a light novel, right?”

Chisa looked at the girl in surprise. Why did she know about it—.

Chisa found herself unable to voice an immediate reply due to the unexpected words that the girl had spoken. She wondered if a few seconds had passed since she had started to stare at the girl in silence.

“...Did you read it?” Chisa finally asked, her voice taking on a slightly raised register. It was evident that she was rather agitated. Feeling terribly embarrassed, her face had turned red.

“Eh?” that girl asked softly.

“What I’m asking… is if you’ve read it?!”

“I saw a poster about it at a bookstore… so I figured that it must be popular,” the girl replied apologetically.

(So that’s what it was…)

Chisa stroked her chest and sighed. Even if the girl had read the novel and knew what it was about, it should not have agitated her this much.

“If you don’t know about it, this conversation is over,” Chisa spoke as she glared at the girl. Not wanting to talk to her any longer, she quickly walked away.

She wondered if that was the girl’s idea of a conversational topic. She had barged in on what Chisa had held dear to herself so easily.

(What a bothersome girl…)

Chisa wondered if the girl was looking down with that expression of a “tragic heroine” on her face as she remained alone in the classroom.

Feeling as though she had drunk muddy water, Chisa’s expression turned severe as she walked down the corridor. The next time that girl talked to her, she would definitely ignore her. Such was what she had resolved to do in her heart.

-Two-

That girl was apparently named “Miura Karen”. Chisa finally learned of it when she was forcibly put in charge of taking measurements during the physical fitness test. That girl seemed to be just like the protagonist of a girls’ manga, even up to her name.

After a month of being in the same class as her, Chisa’s ears had naturally picked up things that she did not want to know. She had no idea what Karen had done during their First Year, but she seemed to be hated. The girls in their class all ignored her, and would not talk to her. They only called out to her when they wanted to push troublesome tasks onto her.

Karen would eat her lunch by herself, and she was always alone whenever they moved classrooms.

Chisa overheard a lot of malicious gossip about Karen. Most of it was about her either flirting with or playing around with boys. It was so stupid that Chisa wanted to throw up. She did not know if Karen was flirting with boys, but she did not think of her to be someone who would play around with boys.

On the contrary, Karen was an astoundingly serious person. She did not have to run the errands that had been forced upon her, but she took all of them in stride. Due to that, whenever Chisa saw people mocking Karen behind her back, saying words like “She’s just trying to look good.”, she felt rather sickened, even though it did not concern her at all.

Chisa wondered why Karen did not just clearly tell them “I don’t want to.”. She definitely knew that even if she did things for them, she would not receive any gratitude in return. Doing so would not make an understanding person appear, nor would it help her to make more friends.

Everyone was just making use of others for their own selfish gains.

Best friends that could be trusted from the bottom of one’s heart? Lifelong friends?

What nonsense. Chisa turned up her nose at the possibility of finding such people in the world. Every person lived for themself. Even if it seemed like people were able to understand each other, it was simply an illusion.

It was futile to have expectations of others. If Karen was just going to end up disappointed, Chisa felt as though she should not have even tried to ask for it in the first place.

However, Karen herself did not seem to think so. She knew that she would just be ignored, but whenever she arrived at school, she would greet everyone with a “Good morning.”. The only people who happily returned her greetings were boys. That was probably the reason as to why people said “She’s flirting with boys.” about her.

As Chisa was about to take her seat, she noticed that Karen was looking her way.

When their eyes met, Karen called out to her. “Good morning…” The smile on her face seemed to be awkward, perhaps due to her nervousness.

After a beat, Chisa turned towards the window, radiating a sense of rejection off of herself. If she showed such an attitude to Karen, she normally would not call out to her again. She continued to ignore Karen, who was standing there as though she had wanted to say something, until she finally gave up and returned to her own seat.

(...If you have something to say, just say it already.)

“That girl changed her lip gloss, right…? That’s the new one that Sena’s advertising in that commercial, no?”

“Eh~ I just bought it myself. I don’t wanna use the same one as her~.”

The two girls who were conversing as such nearby were the two girls who had ignored and left Karen when she called out to them. They had probably said that their names were Aikawa Saki and Ihara Rie. The two of them knew that Karen was able to hear their conversation, but they both just laughed in amusement.

Feeling sickened, Chisa deliberately stood up from her chair, dragging it as loudly as she could.

Spooked by the sound, the mouths of the two girls clamped shut. They looked over at Chisa cautiously, questioning expressions on their faces.

Absolute filth to the ears—.

Spitting out as such in her heart, Chisa left her seat with a frown on her face. The homeroom period was about to begin, but she felt uncomfortable with being inside the classroom, which had the ambience reminiscent of a stagnant tank of water.

☆◯☆

Even as the months changed to June, the atmosphere in the classroom had not changed a bit.

Chisa, who remained in the classroom even after classes had ended for the day, gazed out of the rain-speckled window. It had been raining since that morning. As though it was due to the rainy season, the atmosphere in the classroom was damp and heavy.

(How gloomy…)

Chisa had an umbrella with her, but she did not feel like walking home in the middle of the downpour. There were others who seemed to share the same sentiment as she did, as there were many people who stayed behind in the classroom. She listened to their conversation as she continued to draw.

“Miura seems to have been playing around with boys since Middle School. A girl who attended the same Middle School as her told me so.”

“Does she like being pampered by boys that much?”

“Saki and Rie, didn’t you hang out with her during our First Year?”

“She just happened to be following us around. Right, Saki?”

“I wished that she’d stopped acting like we’re friends just because we talked a little. She’s always grinning dumbly and she’s so boring to talk to…”

Gathered at the back of the classroom were Saki, Rie, and several other girls from their class.

“I want her to stop greeting me every morning. She calls out to everyone, doesn’t she?”

“Doesn’t she realise that we’re all ignoring her?”

“Ahahaha, right? Isn’t she way too dense?”

Chisa snapped the lead of her mechanical pencil at the sound of the girls’ jarring, high-pitched laughter. She felt as though they should just hurry home already, as they had no further business here. If they wanted to speak ill of others, they should do it elsewhere instead.

However, the girls did not get bored of that topic, and their conversation continued.

“Being classmates with her in our Second Year too is the worst…” Saki spat in disgust.

“How annoying…” Chisa found herself voicing in irritation.

With the sound of Chisa’s voice being louder than she had expected, the girls in the back of the classroom were able to hear her as well. Their conversation came to a halt, and a blanket of silence enveloped the classroom.

“...What did you just say, Takano?” Saki asked after a beat of silence.

Chisa stood up and stepped out, looking at the group of girls. “I said ‘how annoying’.”

Saki’s expression hardened as Chisa enunciated each word clearly to her. Chisa returned Saki’s glare with a cold stare of her own.

“Whatever we talk about is none of your business. It doesn’t concern you, so can you just stay out of it?”

“Do you still not get it? I’m telling you to shut up. If you want to cause a racket, go do it elsewhere. Or what? Are you only able to spout bad things about other people with that mouth of yours?” Chisa spoke calmly as she edged her way towards the girls.

“Hey, aren’t you going too far?!” one of the surrounding girls protested.

“You say whatever you want about other people. But when it comes to yourselves, I’m suddenly going too far? Don’t you think that… that’s awfully convenient?” Chisa sneered. That girl shut her mouth, her face turning pale.

“It’s none of your business, so what are you getting so mad for? Or do you just feel sorry for that girl? That kind of ally of justice is the most…!”

Before Saki could finish her sentence, Chisa roughly grabbed the collar of her uniform. A scream sounded out, and the surrounding girls backed away in retreat.

Chisa pushed Saki away and slammed her fist with all her might right next to her frightened face. A loud bang echoed throughout the classroom.

Saki covered her face with her quivering arms, as though she was under the assumption that she would be beaten up. The other girls were frozen in their places, completely silent.

Saki turned her fearful gaze to the side to look at Chisa, who continued to laugh right beside her.

“It’s ugly, isn’t it…” Chisa stopped laughing and whispered into Saki’s ear. She covered Saki’s mouth with her hand when she tried to say something in response. “You satisfy your own ego and make yourself feel superior by looking down on someone else. You’re just dying to hurt and tarnish someone else. When you drag someone else through the mud, you feel so satisfied because it makes you feel that you’re not alone. It’s so low and so ugly, it’s unbearable to watch…”

Chisa put more strength into the hand that was holding Saki down. Saki’s face scrunched up as though she was struggling to breathe, and a desperate groan slipped out of her mouth. Blood drained from her face, probably out of fear.

Keeping a frosty expression on her face, a mocking grin spread across Chisa’s lips. “Don’t worry… I’m. The. Same. As. You.”

Tears welled up in Saki’s eyes as she was grabbed by Chisa’s hand. None of the surrounding girls opened their mouths, seeming as though they were reluctant to help her.

No one in that place was willing to take Saki’s place. That was all there was to it—.

(So even your “playing friends” has a limit, huh…)

Chisa heaved a sigh of boredom.

It was then that it happened.

“Takano!”

A voice called out from the direction of the classroom door. Chisa, Saki, and the other girls that were there turned around.

Standing in front of the doorway was Karen.

“It… It’s fine already…” Karen mumbled very softly upon catching a glimpse of all the occupants in the classroom.

Chisa numbly removed her hand from Saki’s mouth, slowly lowering it.

Saki took a few pained breaths as she slumped down on the spot, her energy seeming to have been drained out of her body. Having finally been freed, her face immediately turned red, probably out of shame and anger. She glared at Chisa, but she did not seem to have the guts to say anything, merely biting her lip in frustration.

With this, thoughts of talking behind someone’s back or of speaking ill of someone in front of Chisa would no longer enter their minds.

(That’s better than nothing…)

Chisa turned around and returned to her seat, where she put her notebook and pencil case into her bag, before heading towards the doorway.

No one spoke a word, merely following Chisa with their eyes.

Chisa left the classroom, avoiding Karen, who was standing there.

“Wait, Takano!!”

Chisa had thought that she would just ignore her and leave—.

A hand tugged at the sleeve of Chisa’s uniform. She brushed Karen’s hand off in disgust as she chased after her.

“...What is it?”

“Thank you… for earlier. You defended me…”

“Ha,” Chisa mockingly voiced in response to Karen’s words.

Karen was a goody two shoes to the end.

“Why I defended you… I don’t care about what others say about you. It’s none of my business, and I have no interest in it whatsoever. I just shut them up because they were being so annoying. Besides…”

Chisa forcefully pushed Karen’s shoulder, causing her to stumble backwards. Her eyes widened, as though she was surprised by the unexpected action.

“I hate people like you, who try to appeal to everyone, the most. If you understand that much, don’t talk to me,” Chisa spoke clearly, without trying to hide her disgust.

Karen closed her mouth, as if she was discouraged by Chisa’s words.

It did not hurt, nor did it itch to be hated by Karen. Chisa did not even want to be liked by anyone from the very beginning. She turned around and walked away quickly, with her eyebrows knitted close together.

She wanted to be free from the annoyances. That was all—.

She did not do it for the sake of another. Being misunderstood of that was even more of a nuisance to her.

-Three-

In the afternoon on her day off, Chisa went to the bookstore by herself. After picking up a few volumes of manga from a series that she was curious about, she made her way over to the shelves where light novels were displayed.

(That’s right, a new volume should be out…)

She had forgotten about it as she had not stopped by the bookstore for a while due to having been studying for her tests. When she thought about it, she recalled that the light novel would come with purchase bonuses.

She searched for the book, wondering if any of them remained, to find just a single volume left. When she reached out for it, someone else’s hand extended out from the opposite direction at the same time.

Chisa looked up and looked over at the other person, who also met her gaze. She froze for a moment as she realised that the other person was Karen.

As though she was surprised as well, Karen reflexively took a step back. She immediately closed her open mouth, seemingly having recalled that Chisa had told her not to talk to her.

“Why are you here…?!”

“To buy… books…” Karen mumbled nervously. That was a given. They were in a bookstore after all.

Chisa glanced at the novels that Karen was holding, wondering what she had intended on buying. She found herself becoming even more surprised by what she saw.

Karen was holding the light novels that Chisa liked. She had all of the volumes with her, along with all of the purchase bonuses. The boys that Chisa had been drawing in her notebook on an earlier occasion were characters that appeared in that very light novel series.

Chisa remained silent for a few seconds before giving Karen a quizzical look. “Could it be that… you’re reading these novels?”

Karen, who had been looking down, immediately raised her head and nodded happily. “Yeah!”

“Why are you reading them?!”

“Because… earlier…” Karen closed her mouth and quickly looked down, holding the light novels in her arms.

“If you don’t know about it, this conversation is over.”

Recalling what she had told Karen in a prior incident, Chisa found herself to be at a loss for words. Karen was looking at her, as though she was trying to gauge her expression. She looked like a child who had been scolded.

“So… you decided to go out of your way to buy and read them?”

Karen nodded again upon hearing Chisa’s question.

Chisa wondered if Karen was intending to talk about the novels with her after she had finished reading them. Feeling her temperature rise, Chisa held her forehead with her hand. A deep sigh leaked out of her mouth. “Haah…”

(She’s impossible…)

Normally, a person would have immediately known that Chisa was telling them to stay away from her. She wondered if Karen had a very brash personality, or if she was either just really dense or a natural airhead.

“But it’s not just that… I was also curious about it…”

“...”

“I often stop by this bookstore. I wanted to buy some pens and stationery… Then I remembered about it when I saw the poster… I tried to find the light novels, but I didn’t know where to find them, so I asked the staff…”

“You asked the staff?!”

“Yeah… Was that a… bad thing?” Karen nervously asked.

“Ba…!!”

Swallowing the words she had intended on saying, Chisa glanced at the covers of the light novels. It was not that it was a bad thing. The light novels did not contain any age-restricted content. It was just that the illustrations on the covers were so risqué that it took some courage to buy them for the first time. That was all there was to it.

As there would be a stage play adaptation of the series soon, there were posters of it hung up inside the store. It had gotten a lot of attention because the popular dance-vocal unit, Soda Mifuyu and Ibuki Kazuma, were starring as the two protagonists. It would not be strange if Karen had gained an interest in it as well.

“The staff told me where to find it really kindly, and recommended another series by the author that was also very interesting. I bought a few of those books and read those too…” Karen’s voice bounced happily as she spoke.

“...So?” Chisa prompted.

“So?” Karen tilted her head a little in confusion.

“...How did you find it…?”

“It was really interesting. I bought the next volume at the bookstore the next day and read it right away… Aomi and Tsukiya are both very cool, aren’t they? I really like the scene where Tsukiya cried on the rooftop. I was so moved when Aomi comforted him,” Karen smiled, her cheeks glowing in happiness.

Chisa almost agreed with her with a “You get it too, don’t you?”, when she stopped herself as she came to a realisation.

(How do I even talk about it in a place like this…?!)

Up till then, Chisa had never talked to anyone about her favourite works. She did not have any friends who shared the same hobby as her. She did not interact much with fans of the same works either. Even though she liked the works, getting involved with the people in the community was troublesome. Forgive her for not wanting to get into trouble.

“The new volume was released, so I thought that it’d come with purchase bonuses…” Karen glanced at the single light novel that remained on the shelf. The light novel came with a box containing the purchase bonus of an acrylic key chain.

“I’ll look for it at another bookstore. I was planning to drop by the shopping mall…” Karen smiled. She was giving it up to Chisa.

Chisa frowned deeply as she reached for the light novel with the purchase bonus. She shoved it at Karen.

“Eh,” Karen looked at the light novel and Chisa in confusion.

“If you want it, go ahead and buy it… Don’t hesitate.”

“But… You want to buy it too, Takano…”

“Do you wanna buy it or not?!” Chisa asked strongly.

“I-I want to buy it,” Karen answered honestly.

“Then why didn’t you say so from the very beginning? That attitude of yours is irritating,” Chisa gave Karen one last look as she took only the manga she had in her hand to the counter. She could just find the light novel with the purchase bonus elsewhere. If she went around a few other bookstores, there should be at least one copy left.

(I really should have made a reservation for it after all…)

That was what Chisa usually did. She had let her guard down, thinking “Well, it’s bound to be around somewhere.” that time.

Chisa felt someone tug on the hair at the back of her head, so it could not be helped that she instinctively brushed them off.

(I shouldn’t get involved with that girl…)

Chisa finished the transaction at the counter and left the bookstore. As she walked down the path towards the train station, Karen came out of the bookstore after her.

“Wait, Takano.”

Chisa frowned as she heard Karen call out to her as she pursued her. She pretended that she could not hear Karen and walked faster.

However, Karen managed to catch up to Chisa and grabbed her sleeve. She seemed to have run with all her might. She leaned forward, breathing heavily.

“...Seriously, what do you want?! Do you still need me for something?!” Chisa asked in a strong tone.

Karen looked up, holding a hand to her chest. Her hair was clinging to her sweat-drenched forehead. Her precious ribbon seemed to be on the verge of unravelling.

“Um… Takano, do you have some time after this?” Karen glanced up at Chisa as she tried to catch her breath.

“Huh?” Chisa looked at Karen in confusion, not knowing why Karen had even asked her such a thing.

“The author seems to be having an autograph session today. There may be novels with the purchase bonus there,” Karen showed Chisa the flyer in her hand.

Chisa’s eyes immediately widened as she grabbed the flyer with both of her hands.

(An autograph session?! I heard nothing about it…)

Chisa had not stopped by the bookstore recently, and she had not been in the mood to collect any information. According to the flyer, the autograph session seemed to be scheduled for 3pm that day.

Chisa took her phone out to check the time, to see that it was about 2.30pm. The autograph event was held at a bookstore that was not too far away. The bookstore that she was just in was under the same company as that other bookstore, so there had probably been flyers there as well. She wondered why she did not notice it.

“You managed to find this flyer, huh…”

“When I was buying the books, I asked the lady at the counter if there was another novel with the purchase bonus. She told me that it was out of stock at that store, but that I could find it here…”

Chisa had never thought that Karen would be the one to tell her about it.

“Did I do it… unnecessarily?” Karen asked, looking at Chisa’s bitter expression.

(Aah… geez…!!)

“Hey, let’s go!” Chisa grabbed Karen’s hand impatiently.

“Eh, but…”

“You like it too, don’t you?!”

“Yeah!” Karen nodded, a look of surprise on her face. “I like… I like it!!”

“Then, let’s hurry!!” Chisa started to run together with Karen, pulling onto her hand. Karen stumbled lightly, but she held her newly-purchased books firmly to her chest.

When they arrived at the bookstore where the autograph session was held, there was a queue in the aisle.

Karen pressed a hand to her chest as she took many deep breaths, a pained expression on her face. She seemed to be bad at running. Whenever they had to run marathons for Physical Education class, she was always running behind everyone else.

Even so, in her haste, Chisa had grabbed Karen’s hand and had run as fast as she could.

“Are you okay…?” Chisa asked Karen worriedly.

Karen nodded with a smile. Her cheeks were reddened, probably because her body temperature had risen.

Chisa finally managed to enter the product sales booth, but most of the goods had already been sold out. However, there were still a few copies of the light novel that came with the purchase bonus left. She bought a copy and got the author’s autograph before leaving the venue, only to find Karen waiting for her.

Chisa’s cheeks were flushed in her happiness to have had the opportunity to tell the author “I’m a fan of yours! I love your works!”. She had even gotten a handshake. As she absentmindedly basked in the afterglow of her excitement, Karen walked up to her.

“Did you get an autograph?” Karen asked.

Chisa nodded. She had been able to buy the light novel with the purchase bonus, and she had even gotten the author’s autograph. Never had she thought that she would be so lucky.

(I’m glad…!)

Chisa was unable to stop a smile from spreading across her lips. Then, she suddenly snapped back to reality and turned to face Karen. “...What did you buy?”

“I bought a can badge… and some pens,” Karen took the blue and red pens that she had just bought out from the bag and showed them to Chisa. Then, she smiled. “I’m glad.”

Suddenly feeling a sense of embarrassment at having been so uncharacteristically happy, Chisa feigned a frown. She was not used to having others see her in a good mood.

“Let’s go…” Chisa stated bluntly as she started to walk. Karen hurriedly followed her.

Feeling curious, Chisa’s gaze drifted towards Karen. The edges of her lips were upturned, an obvious indicator of her inexplicably happy mood.

“Oh right,” Karen unexpectedly turned towards Chisa. “The acrylic keychain purchase bonus comes in two designs, right? Which one did you get?”

An acrylic keychain of either one of the male characters from the light novels, namely Aomi and Tsukiya, was included with the novel. It was randomised, so no one knew which character they got until they opened it.

“Takano, which one do you want?” Karen asked innocently. Chisa averted her eyes from her.

“It doesn’t matter which one I get… I like them both,” Chisa replied before continuing. “But…”

Chisa had only decided to continue the conversation with Karen on a whim. It was because she looked like she was having so much fun—.

Perhaps it had been because she was so delighted to have gotten the autograph of the author. Karen had also been the one to tell her about the autograph session, which allowed her to get a copy of the light novel with the purchase bonus.

“I’d rather get… Aomi…”

“I get what you mean! I… like them both, but I’d be really happy if I got Tsukiya.”

The taller boy was Aomi, and the smaller boy was Tsukiya.

(I thought as much…)

Chisa had no basis nor any reasoning for her assumption, but she just had the feeling that it was so.

As they walked, Karen glanced at Chisa. Chisa sighed, wondering what Karen was holding herself back from just speaking clearly. However, against all odds, Chisa found herself to be less irritated than she usually was. It was probably because she was in a good mood that day.

“...Wanna open it together?” Chisa was secretly surprised by her own proactivity in making the suggestion.

Karen seemed to share that same sentiment. Her eyes were widened in surprise as she nodded. “Yeah!”

They could not just open it in the middle of the street, so they entered a nearby fast food restaurant. They ordered shakes and sat down, before immediately taking out their purchase bonus boxes and opening them.

“...Which one did you get?”

“I got Aomi!” Karen smiled, showing off her acrylic keychain.

The character that was in Chisa’s purchase bonus box was Tsukiya. They seemed to have gotten each other’s favourite characters.

“Let’s swap,” Karen grinned, holding her acrylic keychain out to Chisa.

Chisa’s expression softened as she gave Karen the acrylic keychain that was inside her own box.

Karen happily swung the acrylic keychain with Tsukiya on it, mumbling softly to herself. “So cute.”

(The one that’s cute is you, isn’t it…)

She looked just like an innocent, untainted princess—.

However, that was not all. Karen did not give up when they were running with all their might to get Chisa’s light novel that came with the purchase bonus, and she did not falter, even when Chisa treated her coldly. Chisa was surprised by the guts that Karen had hidden within her.

When Chisa looked at Karen, she felt as though she herself had been boring and stubborn. She wondered if the poisonous atmosphere around her had been dispelled.

Chisa put the acrylic keychain into the box and placed it into her bag. She glanced over at the window seats, where girls from a different High School were laughing together. They seemed to be talking about popular idols.

(...Friends… huh.)

Chisa rested her cheek against her palm as she brought the straw of her shake to her mouth. She wondered if this was what it would be like to have friends.

Going to a fast food restaurant on a day off and drinking shakes together, talking about their favourite things, swapping goods, and making plans to go to a live or an event.

Chisa had always turned away in disinterest from things like this, but she did not do so without any feelings of envy. It was something that she had never been able to attain, no matter whether she wanted it or not—.

Wanting such things would only make her feel empty. She had always told herself that there was no need to force herself to experience the frustration and loneliness of not being able to get it. That was just the easiest thing for her to do. That feeling of hers had never changed. She would still continue to feel that way from that point on.

(I’m fine by myself…)

Chisa had just chosen to spend her day like that on a whim. She thought that it would not be a bad thing to experience something like “friendship” just once in her life.

Yes, it was just for that day. If she experienced it every day— she was sure that she would get tired and irritated of it eventually. That was how she had come to distance herself from social media.

It was always so repetitive. Chisa wondered if she was just not suited to make friends with others—.

“Takano, um… after this…” Karen, who was drinking her shake, lowered her cup and hesitantly opened her mouth.

“I’m going home,” Chisa stood up with her empty cup and picked up her bag, which was lying next to her.

“I see…” Karen made a small smile. Her voice sounded a little disappointed.

“Thanks for today… See you,” Chisa said, leaving their seat.

When she exited the store, she sighed heavily.

She was finally able to continue to spend her off day like she usually did, but somewhere— she felt a little dissatisfied.

☆◯☆

At the beginning of July, after morning classes had ended, Chisa left the classroom with a pack of sandwiches and a water bottle in hand. She climbed the stairs and opened the door. Strong beams of sunlight rushed into her eyes. It was hotter than it was inside, but it was noisier in the classroom.

Chisa walked over to the side of the fence, where she sat down and took out her phone. When she opened her pack of sandwiches while looking at her phone, the door opened.

“Ah,” Karen, who was about to walk out onto the roof, mumbled. She was holding her lunch box and her water bottle in her arms. She looked as though she was about to eat her lunch on the roof as well. She stood at the doorway, but, after a beat of hesitation, she made her way over to Chisa.

“Um…”

When Chisa remained silent, pretending that she was unable to hear Karen, Karen mustered up a little more courage and asked another question. “Can I eat here too?”

“...Do as you like?” Chisa replied bluntly as she chewed on her sandwich.

The rooftop did not belong to anyone. Karen sat down at an arm’s length away from Chisa and opened the lid of her lunch box. Fried shrimp and salad were neatly packed inside it. The rice dish looked to be pilaf. Chisa noticed how delicious it all looked. She did not know who cooked it, but she concluded that they were good at cooking.

“Ah, do you want to eat anything?” Karen showed her lunch box to Chisa, as though she had noticed her gaze.

Chisa almost answered her with “Fried shrimp.”, but she managed to hold herself back and turned away. “No thanks.”

For some reason, Karen withdrew her lunch box with a depressed expression on her face. Following that, the two of them ate in silence for a while.

(It’s hot… I should have eaten in the classroom after all.)

Chisa’s forehead felt hot, and her head felt blank. The lively voices of the cicadas echoed amidst the heat.

Chisa had spent her lunch on the roof during the Summer of the previous year as well. She was always alone during lunch breaks.

“...Come to think of it, there would be a stage play of that light novel series soon, right?” Karen suddenly stopped moving her chopsticks and spoke.

As Chisa chewed on her sandwich without replying, Karen continued to talk. “Takano, are you going to watch it?”

“It’s a popular stage play, so it won’t be so easy to get tickets,” Chisa answered her.

There were many fans of the light novels, but more important than that, Soda Mifuyu and Ibuki Kazuma, who were chosen to be the leading actors, were very popular. Since their fans would also be participating in the battle for the tickets, the probability of acquiring tickets seemed to have decreased. As it was their first stage play, there were many people who wanted to watch them. Most of the people who balloted for the tickets were disappointed by the notification of their loss. The winners of the tickets were just very lucky.

“I was completely destroyed too…”

Chisa had expected the outcome, but she was still disappointed when she saw the email that informed her that she had not managed to acquire tickets.

As Chisa leaned against the fence, Karen raised a hand to her chin and pondered. “I see…”

After glancing at Karen’s side profile, Chisa suddenly jerked forward from where she had been leaning against the fence. “Don’t tell me… you won?”

Karen nodded a little in response to Chisa’s question, which she had asked with a straight face.

“Really?!” Chisa asked, pulling Karen’s face closer to hers. Karen nodded again, looking to be under pressure.

“Why were you the one to win?!” Chisa yelled, holding her head with both hands. Calling it a platinum ticket would be an understatement.

“...Do you want to go together?” Karen hesitantly asked.

“Eh?!” Chisa looked at her in surprise.

“I… applied for two tickets, so… I thought… if you’d like…”

“You’re not gonna invite someone else…?”

“If I won… I was hoping to be able to go with you,” Karen mumbled, her words blending together as her face turned a bright red.

Chisa looked at her with wide eyes. “...You mean, me?”

Karen just smiled in embarrassment in lieu of a verbal reply.

Having no words to say to that, Chisa put a hand to her own face.

She wondered if Karen was just a glutton for punishment—.

Even though Chisa always showed Karen such a dismissive attitude, she always approached her with a smile.

“You’re really… surprisingly unguarded,” Chisa muttered to herself. Karen looked at her in confusion.

Chisa had found it troublesome to interact with other people, so she made sure to keep her distance from others, and always built walls around herself. She only followed her own hobbies, and she was not good at having fun conversations like the other girls were. When it came to choosing “friends”, there were other people who were easier to get along with—.

“I’ll go… I want to see the stage play!”

There was no point in remaining stubborn. Besides, it would be a shame to waste a platinum ticket.

“I’m glad…” Karen whispered in relief, a smile on her face.

“...You’re that happy about it?”

“Yeah. Because it’s my first time… watching a stage play with someone else. How about you, Takano?”

“...Likewise for me…” Chisa answered honestly after a moment of hesitation.

☆◯☆

It was on a Sunday in July that Chisa went to see the stage play with Karen.

Sitting in her seat as she watched the stage play, Chisa secretly glanced at the side profile of Karen, who was seated next to her in the dimly-lit audience seats. Her eyes were fixed on the stage. Chisa was sure that she was completely engrossed in the play. She was crying during the second half, probably because she had been so moved by it.

When it came to the curtain call, cheers rose and applause filled the entire venue. It rang out continuously for a while. Karen sniffed and repeatedly wiped her tear-stained cheeks, clapping so hard that her hands would probably hurt afterwards.

The characters of the light novel, Aomi and Tsukiya, were established to be dancers. The dance-vocal unit, Soda Mifuyu and Ibuki Kazuma, were the perfect cast for them, and the performance was fully enjoyable for the fans of the original work.

When the final announcement was made, Chisa and Karen stood up with the other audience members. As they left the hall, Karen was still in a daze, seeming to still be basking in the afterglow of the performance.

“It was really good! The two of them were so cool,” Karen smiled, hugging the pamphlet to her chest. There were still tear stains on her faintly-reddened cheeks.

Chisa’s face naturally relaxed as she looked at Karen.

“Let’s go back… Karen.”

She had just wanted to call her first name—.

Karen laughed lightly as she walked right next to Chisa.

Chisa was not used to going out on an off day with someone, nor was she used to walking alongside someone like this. However, she did not think that she hated it. This ticklish relationship— might not be so bad either.

“Can I… call you by your first name too?”

“Hm, I’ll make a special exception for you,” Chisa answered.

Karen smiled happily. “Chisa, will you be reserving a DVD?”

“I will. I’ll decide on where to buy it after seeing the purchase bonuses. What about you, Karen?”

“Yup, me too. I’m looking forward to it!” Karen laughed carefreely, the acrylic keychain that she had traded with Chisa swaying lightly from where it was attached to her bag.

Chisa smiled at the sight.

Just a little more—.

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#takano chisa #miura karen #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

Text

Otome Domoyo.: Ending

Hi, this is the final part of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

Happy birthday, Chisa!!!

Previous part (Change 8)

There were only two students remaining in the classroom after school.

Chisa traced over the lines she had drawn in her notebook. She erased the excess lines and brushed off the eraser dust with her hand, before looking up. Karen was sitting in the seat in front of hers, happily reading manga. The manga that she was reading was a volume that Chisa had brought to lend to her.

When Chisa looked at the clock that was mounted on the wall, she noticed that it was time for the club activities to end. She could not hear the voices of the athletic club members who were practising in the schoolyard, and a calm tranquillity enveloped the classroom.

“Can I bring this manga home with me today? I’m curious to see what happens next…” Karen glanced up from the manga to look at Chisa.

“Yeah, sure…”

“I’ll return it to you tomorrow, okay?”

“You don’t have to do that… I’ve already read it… Why not read it slowly?”

“Thanks. But I’m sure that I’ll read it all in one go,” Karen smiled.

Chisa peeked at Karen’s phone, which was lying atop her desk, and found that she had received a new text message. Karen was seemingly oblivious to the message, thus it remained unread. She may have been so engrossed in the manga that she failed to notice the notification sound chiming from her phone.

Displayed on the home screen of Karen’s phone was a picture that she had taken with Kei. In that picture, Kei’s face was close to Karen’s cheek in an intimate manner.

“Hey… Karen, how far have you gone… with that boyfriend of yours?” Chisa asked.

“Eh?” Karen, who was about to look at her phone, glanced at Chisa instead. “H-how far…?”

“Have you… already… kissed?”

“W-we haven’t!!” Karen shook her head, her cheeks immediately turning a light pink. Then, she gave Chisa an honest answer. “Only on the cheeks…”

“Why haven’t you done it yet?”

“It’s still… embarrassing, so…” Karen replied in a whisper. She turned to look out of the window, as though her gaze was trying to make an escape.

“Even though you’re dating?”

“It takes a lot of courage… for me to say something like that.”

“...Do you wanna try it?”

“That’s… I do, but…”

“Then… wanna try?” Chisa got up slightly from her chair, putting a hand on her notebook as she slowly leaned forward.

Karen did not seem to be trying to avoid Chisa, looking at her with widened eyes instead.

Chisa brought her face closer to Karen’s, casting her eyes down as her lips gently touched Karen’s.

The manga that Karen was holding in her hands fell to the floor with a thump.

After waiting for a full two seconds, Chisa pulled back from the kiss. Karen’s eyes widened greatly in shock, and she quickly put a hand to her own lips. “...!!!!!!”

Karen was so surprised that she was unable to vocalise any words. After flapping her mouth wordlessly, she was finally able to call out Chisa’s name.

“Chisa!!”

Karen’s bright red face was of the same shade as the setting sun.

“T-that was… my… first…!!”

Chisa stuck her tongue out at Karen, who was so shaken that she kept stumbling over her words, with a “Bleh.”. “Don’t worry. It was mine too.”

“That’s not the point!!”

“Then, what is the point?”

“That’s… it’s…”

“Karen, thanks for waiting…”

The moment she heard a voice call out from the door, Karen quickly stood up. Owing to that, her chair tilted, and a loud clatter echoed throughout the classroom.

“Y-yeah, I-I’m… coming…” Karen replied, her voice wavering in discomposure, as she grabbed her bag.

“Karen, you forgot the manga,” Chisa pointed out.

Karen hurriedly stuffed the manga into her bag with a face of realisation.

“Then, see ya Chisa… Later, we’ll… have a proper talk about what happened today, okay?!!” she frowned deeply and hurried out of the classroom.

“Did something… happen? Your face is so red…”

“No, nothing… nothing happened!!”

Listening in on the voices of Kei and Karen as they sounded out from the corridor, Chisa giggled as she picked up her mechanical pencil. Then, she glanced at the floor.

“Ah, she forgot one volume…”

Remaining seated, Chisa leaned out of her seat and reached out to pick up the manga, lightly dusting it off.

(Saying that we’re going to have a talk about it… just what does she want to talk about?)

Chisa wondered if Karen intended on asking her for the reason as to why she had kissed her.

Chisa found herself laughing as she recalled Karen’s amusing flustered reaction. She brought her hand to her lips. A gentle touch still lingered on them.

(That’s… obvious, isn’t it…)

It was because “I love you”—.

Standing up from her seat and walking over to the window, Chisa saw the couple leaving the school together. Kei was looking at Karen, who was holding her bag firmly without linking her hand with his that day, for some reason, in confusion.

Karen suddenly stopped walking and turned around, looking up at the classroom. When she noticed Chisa watching them by the window, she stuck out her tongue at her with a “Bleh.”, as though she was returning Chisa’s earlier gesture.

The moment Kei spoke to her, Karen immediately turned to face him with a smile of feigned innocence.

“Congrats, normies…” Chisa muttered to herself as she watched as the couple walked together from her spot by the window. She was envious and jealous of them.

She heaved a small sigh and turned her back to the window. A slightly lonely orange light enveloped the classroom, which was lined with desks and chairs.

Chisa was disappointed.

If she had expectations, she was sure to get betrayed.

—She did not know about that at all.

She could not predict what someone else would say to her.

—Just who would be able to surmise such a thing, anyway.

She wondered if it was bad to have an unrequited crush on a friend.

The definition of such a thing— it did not matter to her at all.

She found it to be too troublesome to consider.

Returning to her desk, Chisa turned the page of her notebook. What she had drawn on that page was a picture of Kei and Karen, who were happily walking home together.

“Sumida, Karen Congrats on Your 100th Day Anniversary!”

That day was the 100th day since the two of them had started to date.

Truth be told, Chisa had intended on showing the picture to Karen, with a smile and a “Congrats.”. Even though she did not have the slightest intention of giving up on her.

She was frustrated about it, after all.

The ugly her who had always longed to be wanted by someone.

Even so, she still wanted to be by Karen’s side.

Because it was her—.

Chisa closed her notebook and kept it into her bag, before leaving her seat.

She turned to look back at the empty classroom only once, reflecting on what had happened earlier with a smile.

“See ya…” she spoke softly as she slowly closed the door.

Again, in this—.

Secret place would they meet again.

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#takano chisa #miura karen #sumida kei #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

Text

Otome Domoyo.: Change 3

Hi, this is Chapter 3 of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

TW for assault and violence in part 2 of this chapter! Take warning!!!

Previous part (Change 2)

Next part (Change 4)

-One-

It was the first day of the semester exams. After the English exam had concluded and the answer sheets were collected, the homeroom teacher dismissed the students with a “Hurry home.” before leaving the classroom.

Immediately after the teacher left, voices began to spread throughout the classroom. Some students were discussing their answers for the exam, while some others were lying down on their desks in exhaustion.

“Karen, how did you find the English exam?” Saki, who was seated in the seat in front of Karen’s, asked.

Karen, who was in the midst of keeping her pencil case into her bag, looked up with a sheepish smile. “It was rather hard, wasn’t it?”

“Are you guys talking about the English exam? I didn’t understand the long sentences at all,” Rie walked over from her own distantly-located seat to join in on the conversation.

“Well, at least we can leave early during this exam period,” Saki laughed, turning to look at the boys leaving the classroom upon noticing them doing so.

“Sumida, let’s stop by somewhere on our way back.”

“I have to study for the exams, though.”

“Eh, what? Are you taking supplementary lessons?”

“Don’t come to such conclusions on your own. If I had to take supplementary classes, I wouldn’t be able to participate in club activities.”

“How boring. Compared to club practice, supplementary classes are better. It’s cooler in the classroom. Hey, let’s join a supplementary class!”

“Don’t wanna,” Kei, who had his bag slung across his shoulder, was about to leave with his friends.

Saki picked up her bag, which was next to her desk, and stood up. “Sorry, I’ll be leaving first.”

The corners of Saki’s lipstick-coated lips quirked up slightly as she followed Kei out of the classroom.

“Eh… What’s up with Saki?” Rie seemed to have been slightly taken aback by Saki’s actions. She had probably not heard anything about it.

“Sumida’s kinda cool, isn’t he?”

Karen remained silent as she kept her notebook into her bag.

“Karen, what are you gonna do?”

“...I’ll be heading home after dropping by the library.”

“I see. See ya,” Rie waved lightly to her as she returned to her own seat.

Karen’s forced smile immediately disappeared as she got up from her chair. She pursed her lips tightly, ignoring the vague and unclear feelings that seemed to spread throughout the back of her chest.

(It’s none of my business…)

☆◯☆

After the exam had concluded the next day, having changed her shoes and left the school building, Karen walked slowly next to the fence that surrounded the schoolyard. She would usually be able to hear the shouts of the students from the athletic clubs after classes had ended, but the schoolyard that day was quiet, with no one out on it. The well-maintained ground seemed to be wavering in the strong sunlight.

When she turned her gaze back towards her front, Kei had stopped by the fence as well. With one hand stuck in the pocket of his pants, he was looking at the schoolyard with a somewhat dissatisfied expression on his face. She wondered if it was because club practices were not held during the examination period. Every day, after classes had ended, he would change into his baseball uniform and practice diligently. She supposed that he really did love playing baseball that much.

Karen absently looked at Kei from a distance away.

At that moment, she heard a girl’s voice call out to him. “Sumida.”

Saki ran up to Kei and lined up by his side. As he started to walk away, she began to talk to him while following him. “You know, about today’s test…”

Karen looked away from the two of them as they left through the main gate together.

“Um… Could I join you for lunch?”

It had been about two weeks after the entrance ceremony that Karen dared to call out to Saki and Rie, who were chatting happily in the seat in front of hers. When the seats were first assigned, Karen had been allocated to the seat behind Saki’s.

As the other girls had either gathered around each other’s desks or left the classroom with their lunch boxes, the two girls in the seat in front of hers seemed to be the easiest girls to talk to.

Saki and Rie stopped their previous chatter and looked at each other.

“You’re Miura, right?” Saki had been the first one to speak.

“Yeah… Ah, it’s nice to meet you!”

When Karen bowed her head, Saki turned her chair around and put her lunch box on Karen’s desk. Rie also brought her own chair over and sat down. “Pardon my intrusion.”

“Miura, are you gonna join any clubs?” Rie asked.

“I don’t think I will… I need to help out around my house.”

“Hm, that’s pretty amazing. Really,” Saki said as she bit into her sandwich.

“...Are the two of you going to join any clubs?”

“I don’t think I’ll join any. I’m not interested in them. I’m not good at club activities, you know.”

“I totally get you. Summer practice seems hard. Forgive me for wanting to enjoy my Summer vacation~.”

“Same here,” Karen laughed as she agreed with Saki and Rie.

From that day onwards, Karen started to eat lunch with the two of them, and they would hang out together. They now referred to her as “Karen” instead of “Miura”.

She thought of the two of them as her friends. She did not want to be hated by them—.

☆◯☆

On the fifth day of the examination period, after the last exam had finally concluded, the classroom was in a greater uproar than usual, probably because everyone was feeling rather liberated.

The girls were gathering together and talking to one another. “Wanna go shopping on our way back?”

Many students had been studying for the exams, even during their breaks, over the past week.

Karen, too, had studied at her desk upon reaching home until her bedtime, so she was relieved that the exams were over. She had managed to fill in most of the answer boxes on the answer sheets for all of her subjects. When she got home, she checked her answer sheets over and found that she did not make too many mistakes, so her scores should not be too bad.

She kept her exam question paper, along with her stationery, into her bag.

(Should I stop by the bookstore on my way home…?)

The bookstore in front of the train station had a large stationery corner with a wide variety of pens for sale. In addition to stationery, the store also had cute miscellaneous goods out on display. As she had also used the same train station when she had been in Middle School, she would often visit that bookstore.

Her pen had just run out of ink, and she wanted to buy a notebook. In addition, the light novel that she had wanted to read was already out on sale, but she resisted the urge to buy it due to the examination period. If she had bought it, she would have wanted to read it instead of studying for her exams.

When Karen stood up to leave, Saki, who was looking at her phone in the seat in front of Karen’s with her legs crossed, looked back at her. “Karen, sorry to trouble you. I’m supposed to hang out with my friends today, but I can’t make it. Can you go instead?”

“Eh… me?” Karen asked in confusion.

“They’re girls from another school, but it looks like boys would be coming along too. I was asked to go because there aren’t enough girls.”

“I see…”

Karen felt uneasy at the mention of boys. Up till then, Saki had never made such a request of her.

“It looks like you’ll be just going for karaoke before leaving. You’ll just have to try to fit in.”

“But… I don’t know who those people are?”

Karen figured that it would definitely be an awkward situation. She was not confident in her ability to speak with people that she was meeting for the first time. If Karen, who did not know the other people at all, were to go in Saki’s place, no one would have fun at all. Her presence would only create a bleak atmosphere.

“No one would mind at all. You can wait for them in front of the station. I’ll let the other girls know,” Saki stood up with a smile. “I’ll leave it to you, then. Rie, let’s go.”

“Exams are the worst… I may have to take extra classes. Even though I was planning on getting a part-time job during Summer vacation~.”

“Should I get a part-time job too? I wanna go to a live.”

Saki called out to Rie, and the two of them left the classroom together.

The people that Karen would be meeting were friends of Saki’s. As Saki had already told them that Karen would be going in her stead, they would already be aware of it.

Karen heaved a melancholic sigh and straightened out her back.

-Two-

Saki’s friends, two girls and three boys, were gathering in front of the station. Just as Saki had said, she had informed them about Karen, and they called out to her.

They rented a room in a nearby karaoke lounge for two hours. The two girls, who had talked to Karen at the beginning, stopped talking to her some time in the middle of it, and were having fun by themselves. When she tried to talk to them, she only got short replies, and eventually, Karen stopped talking to them as well.

However, the three boys persistently tried to get Karen to talk to them. They asked her so many questions about anything and everything, that she stopped answering them after a while.

Karen only sang one song. Being not that good of a singer, she rarely went to karaoke. She was not used to singing in front of other people either. She just felt terribly uncomfortable by all of it.

However, they were friends of Saki’s. If Karen were to leave in the middle of it, it may bring Saki displeasure. With that in mind, Karen had no choice but to force an ambiguous smile as she tried to fit in until it was all over.

When they left the karaoke lounge after the two hours were finally up, it had started to rain. To make matters worse, it was a huge downpour. Dark clouds continuously rained large droplets down from the sky.

(I’m glad I brought my umbrella…)

The weather forecast that morning had predicted that it would rain. Karen was fortunate that her mother had told her to bring her umbrella along. She opened her folding umbrella in front of the karaoke lounge.

“We have something to get to. See ya, Miura,” the two girls waved lightly to her as they quickly left.

“Ah, then… I’m also…” Karen mumbled, telling the boys “see you” as she tried to leave.

“Eh, you’re heading back, Miura? Why not stay a little longer?” one of the boys grabbed Karen’s arm.

Surprised by the sudden action, she instinctively took a step back, as if she was trying to escape.

“We’re going to the arcade after this, so come with us. It’s our treat.”

“I… I have errands to run,” Karen brushed his hand off and tried to walk away, only to be immediately stopped from leaving by another boy.

“Isn’t it fine to hang out with us for just one more hour?”

“If I don’t get home, I’ll get scolded… I’m sorry!”

“When you say errands, did you mean home errands? You can just ignore those. Or, we could all go to your place together, Miura.”

Karen’s face stiffened as she flinched away from the boy, who was closing in on her with a grin on his face. She would be in trouble if they really followed her back. As her parents would be back late, there was no one in her apartment.

“Could it be that there’s no one at home?” one of the boys asked, having noticed the change in Karen’s complexion.

“I’m really… sorry… I have to leave…” Karen reflexively pushed the boy away and dashed off. She felt bad for Saki, but she did not want to be involved with them for any longer.

As she ran, the water droplets that splashed about drenched her shoes, chilling her feet. She was gripping her umbrella tightly, but it proved to be of little use to her. The droplets of rain that slid down her tilted umbrella progressively soaked her school uniform.

“Watch it!” a passer-by yelled angrily at Karen when she nearly bumped into them. However, she was unable to apologise to them as her breathing rate increased.

“Oi, wait!”

“Don’t run from us!!”

When Karen looked back, the three boys from earlier were chasing after her. The distance between them was shortened in the blink of an eye, and Karen hurriedly escaped into a narrow alleyway.

(What should I do…)

Her limbs were trembling in fear.

She really should not have gone after all—.

She was scared. Tears welled up in her eyes.

As Karen walked under the dark clouds along a path that she had never taken before, she reached an underpass.

“Oi, don’t run away!” the boys yelled, as though they were frustrated with her.

Karen ran desperately through the underpass, only to emerge right by the bicycle parking lot that was behind the train station. She panted as she glanced behind her, finding herself to be cornered against the fence. There were no escape routes in sight.

“Didn’t you hear us when we told you not to run away?!” a boy grabbed Karen’s shoulder roughly. She almost fell when she pushed back against him strongly, though she grabbed the fence as quickly as she could.

One of the boys kicked a part of the fence that was right next to her, causing it to shake with a rattling noise. She screamed, her body instinctively retracting to the side. She closed her eyes as she gripped the handle of her umbrella tightly in her arms.

“St-stay away from me…”

“Huh? I can’t hear you well. Say it again!”

“Hey Miura. Don’t you know? We already know your school and your name. We can always pick you up every day from now on?” the boys smirked unpleasantly. “Got it?”

Karen’s wrist was grabbed forcefully, and she found herself being yanked forward.

“Aaah!”

As Karen screamed, the umbrella she was holding fell out of her hand and dropped to her feet. Her upturned umbrella began to amass rainwater.

“Don’t touch me!!”

“Shut up. We just want you to play with us for a little moment. It’s fine, isn’t it?”

“Go away… Stay away from me!!” Karen yelled at the top of her lungs, shaking her bag vigorously.

“Ah, how troublesome. Someone, shut her up!” one of the boys commanded. Another boy reached forward to try to restrain Karen.

“Stop it, don’t come near me!!”

“Don’t make a fuss!!”

Karen swung up her bag frantically, which hit the face of the boy who had yelled at her. The boy held his own chin and let out a pained groan.

Karen desperately held onto her bag as she slowly backed away, step by step, on her trembling legs. She was just scared. She was terrified and frightened. She had no other choice.

She did not know why the boys were so persistent in their pursuit of her. She wondered if it was because she had given them curt replies when they talked to her while they were at the karaoke lounge.

Even if she was able to get away from them that day, they may come for her at her school on another occasion, as they had threatened.

(What should I do… what should I do…)

Karen had no idea who she should call out to for help. Her head was completely blank, and she was unable to make a levelheaded decision. Her heart was beating at a faster rate, owing to her fear and unease. Every time she took a breath, she felt as though the volume of that sound increased.

Raindrops pattered against her entire body, causing water droplets to trickle down from her hair and face.

Karen swallowed a plea for help along with her breath. There was no way that she could ask someone to help her. There was no one around to help her in that place she was in. She had no choice but to do it herself. She was the only one who could possibly protect herself.

When she saw a boy raise his fist, Karen covered her face with her bag. His fist barely hit her bag as he swung it down. However, the impact was so great that her bag fell out of her grasp and into a puddle on the asphalt.

“Don’t mess with me!” the boy’s face turned a bright red as he tried to hit Karen again.

“Oi, that’s enough… just threatening her will do…” one of the other boys tried to stop him, perhaps feeling bad about it. However, the boy who was trying to hit Karen seemed to be so angered that he could not hear the voice of the other boy.

Karen paid no heed to the pain in her knees, which she had scraped when she had fallen, nor did she care about how drenched she was getting from the falling rain. She grabbed her rolled-over umbrella, which was completely filled with rainwater, and slammed it into the boy with a shout of “Aaaah!!”. The water splashed down onto him, and the umbrella hit his leg.

While the boy was cowering in fear, Karen stood up, putting all her strength into her trembling knees.

“I told you… not to touch me, didn’t I…!!” she yelled, glaring at him with all her might.

The zip of her bag had opened when she swung it, and her notebook and pencil case had fallen out into a puddle. She squeezed the handle of her bag tightly.

It was at that moment when—.

“Oi, what’s going on over there?!!”

A loud voice resounded out, almost as if it was trying to drown out the sound of the rain, surprising Karen. The three boys also turned towards the underpass, where the voice had rang out from.

Standing there was Kei, dressed in his school uniform.

Karen’s eyes widened when she saw him toss his umbrella aside as he ran up to them. Droplets of water entered her eyes as they dripped down her forehead, blurring her vision.

(Wh… why…)

They were not along a path that someone would just pass along by chance. Alternatively, she wondered, if he had been there to retrieve a bicycle that he had parked in the bicycle parking lot.

Karen’s strength suddenly drained from her body and she felt as though she was about to sit down on the ground. She was more relieved than she thought at the fact that someone she knew had come.

“Who the hell are you? Don’t butt in on things that don’t concern you!” one of the boys spat at Kei.

“I don’t care!!” Kei shouted, standing in front of Karen protectively.

“I should be the one asking you guys what you were doing…!” Kei muttered lowly, grabbing the collar of the boy’s shirt, his other hand curling into a fist. A pained voice leaked out from the mouth of the strangled boy’s mouth.

“It’s fine already!” Karen yelled the moment she saw Kei raise his fist. If he got into a fight with students from another school, he would not be permitted to remain in the Baseball Club. If that happened, he would not be able to play in the match.

Kei halted the movement of his fist, looking down as he released the boy’s collar.

“Oi… let’s go,” the boys glanced at each other awkwardly, and turned away as they left. One of them glared at Karen hatefully and clicked his tongue.

“...So she had a guy. I heard nothing about this.”

“How boring, dammit…”

“Let’s go to the arcade.”

Karen and Kei stood in the pouring rain in silence as the voices and figures of the boys vanished into the distance.

After some time had passed, Karen finally reached down for her pencil case, which had fallen out. Kei crouched down in mild surprise and picked up the notebook.

Kei extended the notebook to Karen, but she did not have the courage to look straight at his face.

“...Thank you,” she mumbled softly, looking down as she put her notebook, the pages of which having become completely wet, into her bag with her dirtied pencil case.

When she looked at her umbrella, she noticed that the metal fittings were broken. It had been her favourite umbrella. She had been using it since she was in Middle School—.

Her school uniform and shoes were soaked, and the blood that flowed out from her scraped knees mixed in with the rainwater.

“...Are you okay?” Kei stood up and leaned forward a little, extending a hand to Karen. Water droplets were also dripping from the tips of his short hair. She realised that her tearful face was reflected in his eyes.

Karen felt upset, miserable, and completely overwhelmed. No matter how strong she tried to be, she was not able to defend herself without another person’s help.

Karen’s face darkened as she looked down.

Kei hesitantly reached for her arm. She knew that he was probably trying to get her to stand up. However, even though she knew it, she did not want to take his hand at the moment, so she pushed it away.

“I’m sorry…” Karen choked out, gripping her skirt with her trembling hands. “I’m… fine, so… don’t mind me…”

Karen looked down as she spoke, stumbling a little as she stood up. She picked up her broken umbrella, which had fallen aside.

Kei withdrew his hand without uttering another word.

-Three-

Karen folded her broken umbrella and shoved it into her bag before beginning to walk, her legs feeling terribly heavy as she moved.

(For some reason, I’m kinda tired…)

She stopped in front of the bookstore, looking at the stationery corner through the door.

“Right, a pen and a notebook…” Karen muttered to herself as she pushed the door open to enter the store. Her school uniform and her skin were still wet, so the wind blowing out from the air conditioner made her feel rather cold.

When she reached the stationery corner, there was a stack of test writing paper in front of the pen display. She spotted her preferred pen that she always bought and reached out for it.

Her real plans for the day were—.

After school had ended, she had planned to buy a pen and a notebook from the bookstore, along with a light novel that she was curious about, before leaving. She would then shop at a supermarket that was near her apartment, and then proceed to cook dinner when she got home. She would wait for her parents to return home before they would eat together, which would be at about 9pm. After eating dinner, she would take a bath, before heading back to her room to read the light novel that she had been looking forward to reading.

Such had been how she had truly intended on spending her day—.

Nothing special would have been written down in her diary, but she would have been satisfied by how her day would have gone all the same.

She should have refused Saki’s request. If she had just said “I’m sorry, I have something to do today.”, she never would have encountered such a situation.

It should have been an easy thing for her to do. However, she found herself unable to refuse, as she was afraid that Saki would be unhappy or even hate her if she did so.

Karen looked at the test writing paper while holding the pen in her hand.

(Why… am I… unable to change at all…)

She had been thinking as such ever since she was in Middle School. She had imitated her friends’ attitudes and nodded along to whatever they said, just so that they would not hate her. She was unable to truly speak her mind.

If she did that, she would not be outcasted. She would not be badmouthed behind her back, and she would not be on the receiving end of harassment. She had done so just to protect herself. She found it to be a necessity to protect the place that she belonged to.

“Isn’t that right?” Karen had nodded along with a smile as she badmouthed that girl with the other girls. She was not the only one saying such words. Everyone else was saying it too. Such was the excuse she had used to convince herself.

That girl, too— Arisa had been the same way.

When she was in her First Year of Middle School, Karen had been the first one to be outcast from the rest of the class. She was accused of being flirty towards boys just because she liked cute accessories and goods, and because she wore her favourite ribbon to school. When she had been in a good mood, others had badmouthed her behind her back. She did not have any intentions of showing off. She had just liked it.

It was not uncommon for her to find graffiti on her desk. There were also times when garbage and vulgar notes had been shoved into her desk—.

Karen had no one to help her. All of the other girls were afraid of being hated by others, so they turned a blind eye and avoided talking to her instead. Even if she called out to them, she would always be either ignored or faced with an unpleasant attitude.

Karen found herself wondering why she had been hated to such an extent. She wondered what had been wrong with herself. Such were the thoughts that plagued her mind every day as she sat in her seat.

Just like the other students, she had come to school and smiled normally. She had no intention of standing out. She had not been trying to get carried away either.

There had also been allegations that she was trying to act flirty towards the boys. Conversely, she was not good at dealing with boys, and she had never actively tried to talk to them herself.

When she tried to refute such claims, no one listened to her. No one had even tried to understand her.

No matter how hurt she was, no matter how many times she cried, no matter how many times she screamed, no one had sympathised with her.

As if she was reaping what she had been sowing, the more she lied, the more people began to gossip about her behind her back.

There was no one who would help her. No one would pull her out of that dark, narrow world she had been in.

That girl had been the same—.

She had talked to and laughed along with the other girls.

She was guilty as well. Karen had thought so.

So, if she was the one to become outcast instead, being on the receiving end of insults and harassment by their classmates, Karen felt that it was an unavoidable outcome, and that it was just a natural consequence for her.

Karen had thought so—.

Just up till the previous day, that girl had been talking about Karen behind her back with the other girls, saying “Isn’t that right?” as she laughed along with them.

Karen did not feel the pain of being an outcast any longer. She was not receiving any harassment either. She was able to live the normal school life that she had always longed for.

Karen was secretly relieved that it had been so easy for her. She no longer had to experience how hard it was to eat her lunch alone, to have no one to talk to, to be badmouthed over the smallest of details, and to be harassed by others. However, she still knew how even a heartless word could leave a deep and unhealable wound.

Karen pretended not to notice it. She pretended not to see it.

She remembered how that girl used to stare out of the window with a pained expression on her face. She remembered how that girl’s eyes would occasionally look towards her, as though she wanted to say something to her.

The truth was—.

It had been because of Karen that that girl had become outcast and badmouthed.

If Arisa had just laughed along with the other girls as they insulted Karen, she would not have been targeted instead. She must have known that it would have been the wiser thing to do.

Everyone has to fit in with others, even at the expense of sacrificing someone else in order to keep their place in the world. That girl would not have been wrong for doing so as well.

Even so, she still tried to reach out to Karen.

She tried to help Karen—.

“You can’t leave things as they are!”

Karen felt like she could still hear that girl’s determined and strong voice as she entered the classroom, back when they were still in Middle School.

(That’s… right…)

Tears spilled out from Karen’s moist eyes, running down her cheeks.

It had not been that there was no one to help her. It had not been that no one had heard her heart-wrenching, pained cries of “Stop it already!”.

Someone had reached a hand out to her amidst the darkness, and tried to pull her out of it.

The one who had shook off that hand and pushed it towards that place in her stead was none other than— Karen herself.

Karen made excuses, looked away from her own ugliness, and tried to save herself instead.

If only she made a different choice, she would have had a different future.

If only she had a little more courage, if only she had just been a little more honest with herself.

Perhaps she would have been able to befriend that girl normally, had lunch together with her, gone shopping at a shopping mall with her, and stopped by a bookstore to talk about their favourite light novels and manga with her.

If that happened, her three years of Middle School would have been more fun and fulfilling than those boring days that had filled her time. She would not have thought of those days as days that she did not want to remember.

Karen would have gone to the same High School as her, and now—.

When she realised it, her tears were unable to stop flowing. The spilled teardrops dampened the test writing paper.

She wondered why she could not have done that instead. She wondered why she did not do it instead.

When Karen was in Middle School, she had never thought that it was fun to hang out with the girls in her class. The girls probably did not think of her as a friend either.

Every day, they would just speak poorly of someone. They would harass them and giggle at their reactions. Karen truly did not want to take part in that, she did not even want to give them lip service for it.

She was also guilty, for accompanying them and for doing the same things as them.

However, if—.

If at that time, even once would have been fine. If only she had mustered up all her courage to say “Let’s stop this.”. If only she had said “I don’t agree with that.” instead of nodding along to the girls as they badmouthed others.

If she had done that, she would not have hated herself so much.

Karen gripped the pen tightly and closed her eyes. She had not changed at all, even after she had entered High School.

She was afraid of being isolated, so she just imitated her friends’ expressions. She was unable to say that she disliked what she disliked. She laughed and feigned innocence in her desperate attempts to protect herself and her small world.

Even though she really knew what was the most important thing to her. The way things were, she would lose that important thing again, just like she did before.

If she did not change—.

She wanted to avoid repeating the same mistakes from her past. She wanted to make a real place for herself this time.

An image of Arisa’s back, with her long hair tied tightly into twintails on either side of her head, surfaced behind Karen’s eyelids. She was sure that this was the same feeling that Arisa had felt at that time.

After three years, Arisa’s voice had finally reached Karen’s heart.

(I’m late… I’m too late…)

Karen’s tears grazed her lips, which were filled with self-deprecation, as they fell. She wished that she had realised it earlier. She had probably lost countless important things in the meantime.

Karen subconsciously gripped the chest of her drenched uniform.

“Huh… Miura, is that you?”

Karen quickly raised her head when she heard someone unexpectedly call her name.

A boy dressed in the uniform of Sakuragaoka High School had stopped on his way out of the store. He seemed to be a light-hearted boy, who had his bangs pinned up.

“Shi… Shibasaki…” Karen mumbled in mild confusion.

Shibasaki Ken, who had walked together with Arisa on an earlier occasion, widened his eyes when he saw Karen standing there, completely drenched.

Karen was surprised that he had remembered her name. She had never been classmates with Ken. She remembered that he had occasionally barged into her classroom when they were in their First Year of Middle School, as his friend was in the same class as her.

Karen had never talked to him. However, the other girls talked about him often, so she only knew his face and his name. Hence, she never thought that he even knew about her.

She wondered if Ken knew what she had been like in Middle School. She used to say bad things about Arisa along with her friends. Perhaps Arisa herself had told him about it.

Arisa— Karen wondered what she had thought of those days.

Karen returned the pen that she had been clenching to the shelf and quickly turned her gaze away.

Ken fiddled with his bangs in thought for a while, before turning around and heading towards Karen.

“Um, long time no see? We haven’t talked much, but we attended the same Middle School. You were classmates with Arisa, right?” he spoke with a friendly smile.

Karen’s gaze returned to him, feeling a little surprised by how naturally Arisa’s name had left his mouth. “Shibasaki… Are you going out with Arisa… Takamizawa?”

When Karen asked that question, Ken fell silent for a few seconds. His face had unexpectedly turned red.

“Ah… uh… It’s too bad, but my feelings for her are one-sided?” he replied shyly, holding a hand over his mouth.

Karen found herself looking at his face involuntarily. “I… see…”

“By the way… Just out of curiosity, but how did you get this drenched?” he asked in a light tone, picking up a pen to test it out, as though he had nothing better to do.

“M-my umbrella… broke…”

When Karen replied, Ken’s gaze shifted back to her from the pen he was holding.

“It started really suddenly, huh. I was on my way to the station, but I didn’t have an umbrella, so I rushed into this bookstore. I thought that it’d stop if I waited for a while, but it didn’t stop at all,” Ken looked at the door with a smile. “Oh, the rain stopped.”

Karen turned her gaze outside as well, to see the visage of the setting Sun reflected onto the wet ground.

“Miura, you’ll catch a cold if you remain this wet, so you should hurry home immediately, right?”

The atmosphere surrounding Ken, as well as the impression he gave off, had changed. The way he talked and the way he smiled seemed to be more natural than before. In Middle School, the smiles he had worn while he was talking to girls seemed a little more empty than it did now.

“Shibasaki… Is Takamizawa doing well?” Karen found herself asking. She hesitated to call her ‘Arisa’. They were not close enough to be considered friends. They had just been classmates who had attended the same school— That was it. She was sure that she was not qualified to call Arisa by her first name, like Ken was.

“If it’s Arisa,” Ken rephrased, looking at Karen with a smile. “She’s doing well. How about you, Miura?”

Karen looked at him in confusion when he asked the question back to her.

(I’m…)

Even though it would have been a lie, she could have said “I’m fine.”, but she was unable to voice those words.

“...Is Takamizawa having fun at school?”

When Karen had seen Arisa walking together with Ken, she looked more lively than before. She was not visibly gloomy, nor did she have a heavily troubled expression on her face. Even if Karen did not ask that question, Arisa was probably having fun.

“Is she doing well in her class? Was she able… to make friends too?”

“You wanna know?” Ken looked straight at Karen as he threw the question to her. “If you’re curious, why not ask her yourself? You’re friends, right?”

“We’re not… friends…”

(I can’t say… that I’m a friend of hers… I was so… so, terrible… to her.)

She was sure that Arisa was already—.

Karen frowned deeply.

“Eh? Then… you’re best friends?”

“We-we’re not!” Karen hurriedly answered as she looked up.

Ken laughed in amusement. “I don’t know much about what happened, but you called her ‘Arisa’, right? Yeah, you called her that, in Middle School, that is.”

He had probably noticed it when Karen had inadvertently mentioned Arisa’s name at the beginning. Feeling embarrassed, she turned her reddened face down in an attempt to hide it.

“Do you really care this much about people who aren’t your friends? I think Arisa’s the same way too,” Ken smiled and waved lightly as he left the store. “See ya, Miura.”

(Arisa too…?)

Karen raised her face and hurriedly wiped her wet cheeks.

“Shibasaki, wait!!” she grabbed her bag tightly and rushed out in pursuit of him.

The rain clouds had since parted, leaving the sky shining in a golden hue. Occasional droplets of rain pattered down from the clouds above.

“Shibasaki!”

When Karen called out to him again, Ken stopped and turned around.

Karen pursed her lips, which were on the verge of voicing out “Takamizawa”, before opening her mouth again, as if in resolution. “If you see Arisa, tell her…!”

Ken looked at Karen and listened to her words with a smile on his face.

“If I come to like myself just a little more… I’ll come to see you!” Karen declared as loudly as she could to Arisa, who was not there with them at the moment.

It was fine if Arisa hated her.

It was fine if Arisa did not forgive her.

She wanted to tell Arisa that her words from that time had reached her heart properly.

She had been so happy when Arisa had courageously spoken up for her.

She had wanted to talk more with Arisa when they were in Middle School.

She had wanted to be friends with Arisa.

She wanted to apologise to Arisa for being weak, for being too occupied with defending herself that she had hurt her instead.

Karen knew that it was awfully convenient of her to only be saying such things now. She did not want to start over from the beginning, acting as though nothing had happened between them.

She knew that she was unable to turn back after she had made her mistakes. That was why she at least wanted to find a way to reach the correct answer this time.

She wondered if it was alright for her to have such thoughts.

She wondered if it was alright for her to wish for such things—.

“Somehow… You’re pretty similar to Arisa, Miura,” Ken grinned broadly as he spoke.

“Is that… so?”

“You’re similar. Like… What's with that awkwardness? Instead of saying that, you should just see her right now.”

Finding his words to be undeniably true, Karen found herself unable to resist the urge to smile along with him. However, she was still too weak at the moment. She wanted to see Arisa when she had changed herself.

She wanted to be proud of herself, like Arisa had been at that time. She wanted to be able to face her past self and tell her “I’m sorry.” with utmost sincerity.

“...I’ll be sure to tell Arisa that properly,” Ken said with a serious expression on his face, before immediately smiling again.

As she saw him off towards the train station, Karen smiled as she bowed her head down.

(Thank you, Shibasaki…)

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#miura karen #sumida kei #takamizawa arisa #shibasaki ken #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

Text

Otome Domoyo.: Change 7

Hi, this is Chapter 7 of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

Chisalt index for this part: ★★★★★★★

Previous part (Change 6)

Next part (Change 8)

-One-

The next week, after classes had ended for the day, Kei changed into his Baseball Club uniform in the clubroom before rushing towards the schoolyard with the other members of the club. He stopped in his tracks along the way when he saw Karen walking out of the school building.

“Kei, what are you doing? The match is gonna start soon,” Haruto called out to him from behind.

“My bad, go on ahead without me.”

Haruto glanced at Karen. “Don’t be late,” he said as he walked ahead of Kei.

Noticing that Kei was waiting for her, Karen stopped walking herself.

A year ago, Kei had confessed to Karen in that very spot.

In the schoolyard beyond the fence, members of the Baseball Club had started to play catch.

Recalling that that incident had occurred before a match as well, Kei subconsciously reached for the brim of his hat.

“Is your match… about to begin?” Karen had been the first one to speak. She had probably heard that the Baseball Club was to have a match that day. In the schoolyard, members of another school’s Baseball Club had gathered for a meeting.

“How about you, Miura? Are you on your way home?”

“Yeah… kinda…”

Just like it had been on that day, the cries of the cicadas were echoing around them. The blinding sunlight that beamed down onto them was hot.

Kei looked down at his own shadow for a moment, before returning his gaze to Karen. While looking straight at her, he opened his mouth nervously. “Um hey. Will you wait for me till my club activities are over?”

Karen fell silent in a little hesitation. Her cheeks turned red, as though her temperature had increased. As Kei waited for a reply, she answered softly. “Yeah… sure.”

“Let’s start the meeting!” the coach commanded. The members who were either playing catch or stretching gathered around the bench.

“Then… see you later,” Kei said to Karen as he rushed towards the schoolyard. Coupled with his pre-match jitters, his heart was beating rapidly.

After the meeting had ended, Kei sat on the bench and re-tied his spike shoes. Haruto, who was seated next to him, took a gulp out of his sports drink.

“Um hey…” Kei called out.

“Hm?” Haruto replied, his voice completely free from nervousness.

“If we win today’s game…” Kei let go of his shoelaces and sat back upright. “I’m thinking of confessing to her.”

Haruto dropped the bottle from his mouth and looked at Kei in astonishment. Kei picked up his hat, which was beside him, as he stood up.

“Then… we just have to win, don’t we?” Haruto stood up with a grin and hit Kei’s shoulder forcefully.

In lieu of giving him a proper reply, Kei put his hat firmly onto his head as he rushed off together with Haruto.

“Thank you for the match!!”

The voices of the lined-up members of both teams resounded throughout the clear sky.

☆◯☆

Cheers echoed around the schoolyard.

Sweat trailed down Kei’s forehead as he found himself looking up at the sky from his spot atop the mound. Pure white clouds drifted about the blue sky.

Misuzu High School had a one point lead at the top of the ninth inning.

As the batter who had struck out returned to his team, the next batter entered the batter’s box, shaking his bat lightly. If he was unable to score any points, the match would come to an end. The cheers of the other team got louder because it was their last chance.

(Just one more person to go…)

Kei exhaled slowly as he looked at the batter and Haruto, who was the catcher. Haruto, who wore a catcher’s mask, was crouched down with a catcher’s mitt on his hand.

The sunlight was hot and dazzlingly bright. Kei did not hate it at all. The sight of Karen, who was watching the match by the fence, came into the corner of his view. He knew with a glance at Haruto that he was smiling under his mitt. He was sure that Haruto wanted to say “You can’t show her your uncool sides when she’s watching you.” to him.

(I know that…)

Kei swung his arm as he took a huge step forward. The ball he threw made a pleasant sound as it hit the centre of Haruto’s mitt. The batter, who had swung his bat a little too late, looked down with a hand on his hip.

“Strike!!” the umpire shouted. Voices were raised from the bench.

Receiving the ball that Haruto had thrown back to him with his glove, Kei put his hand on his hat and pulled it a little further down.

The previous year, the match, which had taken place on the day that Karen had rejected him, had been a disaster. Kei had been unable to control his pitches, and was thus forced to leave the mound after losing seven points for the team. He would never forget how pathetic he had felt when he had to spend the rest of the match seated on the bench, with his head hung low. Haruto still made fun of him for it to that very day, but he had been such a wreck that it was almost laughable.

However, that day was—.

Kei wound his arm up, clenching his teeth as he swung his arm forward. His curveball slipped past the bat, firmly landing in Haruto’s mitt.

He sighed as he heard the umpire’s shout. “Strike!”

He received the ball that was thrown to him, slowly winding up his arm. Just one more ball—.

Kei kicked the ground quickly as he hurled the ball.

“Strike!” the umpire called.

Kei immediately looked at Haruto’s mitt. The ball was resting right in the middle of it.

The batter lowered his bat with a heavy sigh.

The match was over. Cheers rose from the bench. The members of the team, who had been playing defensive positions, gathered together with smiles on their faces.

Haruto slowly walked over as he removed his catcher’s mask to hold it in his hand. He then lightly tapped Kei, who had removed his hat to wipe his sweat off on his arm, on the shoulder with his mitt. “You were way too fired up, man. Your pitches were crazy.”

“I definitely didn’t want to lose,” Kei looked towards the fence, where his eyes met Karen’s.

Upon seeing Karen’s softened expression of relief, Kei pulled his hat firmly onto his head, in an attempt to hide his reddening face.

☆◯☆

After the meeting had ended, Kei returned to the club room and changed into his school uniform. In the midst of the other members’ still-heated post-game excitement, he bade them farewell with a “Thank you for your hard work”, before leaving the club room with his stuff.

The outside world was dyed in the vivid colours of the sunset.

When he saw Karen sitting on the edge of the flowerbed, evidently waiting for him, Kei took a deep breath of nervousness. Squeezing the strap of the sports bag that he had slung over his shoulder, he slowly walked over to her.

Karen raised her head a little, her cheeks illuminated by the setting sun into a shade of red. After giving Kei a single glance, she turned her head back to face her front. Her hands were squeezing the handle of her bag, which she had placed atop her lap.

“You were a little cool… I guess,” Karen said softly.

Kei slipped his hat onto her head.

“Wha-!” Karen yelped in surprise.

“I did my best because you were watching me,” Kei looked away from Karen, his face equally reddened.

Karen peeked up from under the hat. “You were the one who wrote ‘CHiCO with HoneyWorks’, right?”

“Eh,” Kei blurted out in surprise in response to her question. “You knew that it was me?!”

Kei had always assumed that she did not know the person with whom she had exchanged messages in the stationery corner of the bookstore when they had been in their First Year of Middle School.

Karen lowered the hat to hide her face, her shoulders quivering a little as she laughed.

Kei smiled, a sense of joy spreading throughout his chest, the very same feeling that he had felt when he had first seen Karen in the bookstore. Growing embarrassed by it, he put a hand on the back of his neck, his face reddening.

He wondered when she had realised it. He wondered if she had known that it was him during their High School entrance ceremony. Additionally, he found himself wondering if she had ever seen him happily scribbling away on the piece of paper at the bookstore.

He was both surprised and happy to know that she had remembered something that had seemed like a trivial event from their Middle School days. He had thought that he had only known her one-sidedly—.

However, that had not been the case.

Karen continued to laugh happily, her head still lowered. As he looked at her, Kei’s facial expression morphed into a rather serious one. He subconsciously clenched his fists in nervousness.

“Is it… impossible after all?” Kei asked.

She slowly looked up.

Kei’s heart began to thump more rapidly.

Karen, too, had a nervous expression on her face, her lips pursed tightly.

If he wanted to say it, that moment was the only time for him to do so. That was why he had asked her to wait for him.

Kei took a deep breath and managed to get out “Will you—” when it happened.

Suddenly, a blast of water shot out at Kei from the side, effectively soaking him from head to toe. His drenched uniform clung to his skin, dripping with water.

Karen’s eyes widened and covered her mouth with both of her hands, looking visibly surprised by the unexpected occurrence. Fortunately, she did not seem to have gotten soaked as well.

“Ah, sorry. I mistook you for a weed.”

“...”

A short-haired girl was standing there, holding the tip of a hose tightly in her hands. The tip of the hose was still aimed at Kei, with the water creating a rainbow as it continued to spray at him. Owing to that, a puddle had formed exclusively at his feet.

“Chisa!”

When Karen called her name out in a panic, the girl finally twisted the faucet to turn off the water.

Having successfully disrupted Kei’s second confession, Takano Chisa jerked her chin towards him, donning a haughty expression on her face.

☆◯☆

Having entered a fast food restaurant, Kei looked for a seat, a tray that held his order of a hamburger and some juice in his hands. The only vacant seat was a table that could seat four people, which was located at the back of the restaurant.

As Kei sat down, Karen and Chisa took their seats opposite him.

(Why is Takano here…)

Kei frowned as he looked at Chisa, who was casually sipping her juice, seeming as though she belonged. When she glared at him in discomfort, he quickly looked away. There was no doubt in his mind that she had nothing but hostile intentions towards him. Otherwise, she would not have sprayed him with water.

“Sumida, are you okay?” Karen asked worriedly, seemingly concerned about Kei’s wet shirt.

“It’s almost dry.”

Kei had been completely drenched when they left the school, but the heat had dried him off as he walked. However, his shirt and shoes were still a little damp.

Chisa wore an uncaring expression on her face as she drank her juice while scrolling through her phone. She did not appear to have a single ounce of remorse at all.

“Today’s match was amazing,” Karen smiled, picking up the cup that contained her shake.

“What match?” Chisa looked up from her phone and asked Karen, cutting in before Kei could even reply to her.

“A baseball match.”

“Hmm… So that kind of thing happened, huh,” Chisa said in complete disinterest, her eyes flickering over to Kei. “Did you lose?”

“We won!” Kei replied, his annoyance evident in his voice.

A nasty smirk tugged at Chisa’s lips. “Heh, so you did, huh… Ah, Karen.”

Leaning her cheek against her palm, Chisa turned her phone towards Karen. Displayed on the screen was a picture of french fries, accompanied by the text of “You Win!”. It seemed to be a lottery app in which one could draw a lot once a day. “I won some fries, wanna eat them?”

“Yeah, it looks delicious.”

“Then, I leave it to you,” Chisa handed her phone to Karen, who was seated on the seat closest to the aisle.

“Sure,” Karen replied lightly as she stood up and made her way towards the counter. Considering the fact that there were lines in front of the counter, she would probably take a while to make her return.

Having nothing in particular to talk about with Chisa, who was sipping her juice with an expression of boredom on her face, Kei lifted his hamburger to his mouth to distract himself from the awkward atmosphere.

(What should I do… about my confession?)

Owing to Chisa, who had sprayed him with water, Kei was still unable to complete his confession.

He had intended on making another attempt as they left the school, however, as Chisa had all but glued herself to Karen’s side, he did not feel as though he was able to say it. He was only able to walk behind the two of them as they chatted happily with each other, an unamused expression on his face.

Chisa had been the one to unexpectedly make the suggestion to enter that very fast food restaurant. She seemed to be a friend of Karen’s, who was completely trusted by her. Kei did not think of her as a bad person, but he was unable to read what she was thinking at the moment.

Having finished his hamburger, Kei crumpled the wrapper in his hands. “...Just what are you trying to do?”

“...What are you talking about?” Chisa turned an unfriendly gaze onto Kei.

“You asked Miura to leave her seat on purpose, didn’t you?”

If she wanted french fries, she could have just gotten them by herself. The fact that she did not do so was probably because she had something to say that she could not risk Karen overhearing.

“So you noticed.”

“I guess so.”

“Then, I’ll tell it to you…” Chisa placed her hands onto the table and leaned forward, slowly edging closer to Kei’s face.

“Hey,” she whispered, a sigh escaping her lips. “Give Karen to me…”

Kei raised his eyebrows in confusion, wondering if Chisa was just making fun of him. However, Chisa had nothing but utmost seriousness in her eyes.

“I have nothing to give… Miura doesn’t belong to me.”

Kei had his suspicions that Chisa had intentionally sabotaged his confession by spraying him with water before he could ask Karen to go out with him, but he did not voice them.

“Isn’t it fine? You’re a popular guy anyway… There’s bound to be many girls who would want to confess to you…” Chisa kept her eyes trained on Kei as she repeated her request. “Give her to me.”

“No way.”

“You have plenty of other options to choose from, don’t you? But I…!!” Chisa’s face twisted, looking down as she cut off her own words in discouragement. She crushed her cup of juice in her hand, sending ice spilling out and scattering all over the tray.

“I’m not fine with just anyone else either!” Kei found himself following her lead in putting more strength into his words. Chisa looked up in surprise.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, but I’m different from what you’ve said about me… Besides, I’m not going to give Miura up,” Kei spoke clearly, his expression turning serious.

After falling silent for a moment, Chisa huffed a short laugh. “Ha… You have it good, don’t you… You normie…”

Kei frowned, annoyed by the sarcastic manner in which she had spoken. “It’s none of your business.”

“You’re exactly like how Karen had described you… a stupidly honest guy. You’re really bothersome…” Chisa muttered to herself, fiddling with her long bangs.

“I got the fries…” Karen returned to the table, holding a tray with both of her hands. She saw Chisa and Kei looking at her with awkward expressions on their faces. “...What’s wrong?”

“I got into an argument with Sumida. That’s all.”

“Eh?” Karen’s eyes widened when she heard Chisa’s words.

“Don’t say anything unnecessary,” Kei frowned at Chisa, before speaking to Karen. “Takano’s just spouting random nonsense.”

“You’re such a boring guy. Can’t I joke around for a bit?”

“My bad.”

Karen laughed in amusement as she watched the two of them interact.

Chisa’s expression softened as she picked up her bag, which was on her chair, along with her tray, which had laid atop the table.

“Chisa, are you leaving?”

“Hmm, I remembered that I had something to do.”

“How about your fries? Do you want to take them with you?” Karen looked down in confusion at the tray with the freshly-prepared french fries.

“The two of you can eat them together. See ya, Karen,” Chisa smiled at Karen as she slung her bag onto her shoulder. She then turned to look at Kei and stuck out her tongue at him with a “Bleh.”.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Karen waved as she saw Chisa off, before placing the tray with the fries onto the table.

“...Is Takano always like that?” Kei asked.

Karen sat down opposite him and nodded with a smile. “Yup.”

“You guys sure are close, huh…”

“If Chisa wasn’t around, I’d have been alone all this time. She’s my precious friend.”

“Hmm…”

(A friend, huh…)

“Give Karen to me…”

The words that Chisa had spoken with a serious look in her eyes flashed through Kei’s mind. There had been a hint of desperation in her eyes, as though she had been in dire straits.

“Don’t tell me, you got into a fight with her?” Karen asked worriedly, her words cutting into Kei’s absent-minded thoughts.

“Nah… But on a different note, mind if I… take a fry?” he asked, pointing at the fries.

“Yeah, sure,” she smiled, pulling the tray to the centre of the table.

The two of them sat facing each other in the cool store as they ate the fries together. Chisa had left, and it was now just them both.

Kei wondered if this was another chance for him to say it. However, as he watched Karen happily talk about the match, he was unable to find the right words to convey to her. He found himself absently thinking that he was fine with the way things were at the moment.

He was content with the fact that he could be with her like this—.

“Come to think of it… Just when did you see me?” Kei asked, referring to their Middle School days.

“Eh! …I wonder… when it was. How about you, Sumida?” she fumbled with her words a little, before glancing at Kei, as though she was curious about his reaction.

“...I wonder when it was,” he retorted vaguely, resting his cheek against his palm.

Karen blinked once, and then covered her mouth with her hand as she smiled.

Kei’s expression softened as he looked at her. “I’ll tell you about it… someday.”

“Yeah… same here.”

-Two-

In the first week of February, after classes had ended for the day, Kei and Haruto were changing their shoes at the main entrance together.

“Since we have the day off from club activities today, wanna stop by somewhere? Like a batting centre?” Haruto grinned as he kept his shoes into his shoe locker.

“That won’t be any different from our usual club activities, right?”

“Then, how about karaoke… but wait, you won’t want to go then. Man, I don’t know what to do when we’re free from club activities.”

“Why don’t you just go for a run before heading home?”

“That won’t be any different from our usual club activities, right?” Haruto folded his hands behind his head as he parroted Kei’s own words back to him.

Kei sighed heavily in resignation as he put his shoes into his shoe locker.

Karen, who had just walked down the stairs, stopped in surprise when she saw Kei and Haruto. “Sumida, do you have club activities today?”

“Nope… I’m heading back,” Kei replied.

“We don’t have club activities today,” Haruto secretly nudged Kei with his elbow. Behind his glasses, his eyes seemed to be laughing teasingly. “Invite her out.”

“Shut up,” Kei whispered back to Haruto, who had made the whispered suggestion into his ear, and covered his mouth with a hand before he could make any other unnecessary remarks. “Miura… are you heading back too?”

“Yeah… there’s a place I want to drop by. I’ll be seeing you, then,” Karen beamed as she waved her hand a little.

Kei followed her path with his eyes for a while as she headed towards the shoe lockers that belonged to her own class. He finally released Haruto’s mouth, who was looking at him with a look of complete resignation on his face.

“Hey, Kei. I don’t think chances like this come around so often, right?”

“I know that…” Kei furrowed his brow as he left the school building.

The slightly cloudy sky spread out above him. His exhaled breath turned white amidst the falling snow.

Kei walked by Haruto’s side, the voices and laughter of the other students drifting into his ears.

“So, how much longer are you gonna keep seeing her off like this? Or, does Miura like some other guy?”

“...I’ve never heard about such a thing.”

(She’s always with Takano, though…)

“She sure is cute and popular, huh.”

“...That’s true.”

“You may lose out to some other guy, you know?”

“...That’s true,” Kei frowned moodily as he acknowledged Haruto’s words. As they left through the main gate, he stumbled as he received a forceful hit to the back. “...What do you want?”

“Are you fine with that?” Haruto asked, his expression and voice uncharacteristically serious. Not a single sense of teasing was present in the atmosphere.

“...I know,” Kei muttered in response as he began to walk out onto the melting snow.

“Why are you saying such things, then? Or, are you interested in another girl?”

“I’m not.”

There was only one person that Kei had ever thought about going out with. He had never thought of choosing anyone aside from her.

The snow that fell onto their coats as they walked by each other’s sides quickly melted and soaked into the fabric.

“I didn’t know that you were this indecisive. You’re always so stubborn,” Haruto laughed softly as he walked next to Kei. “Pfft.”

“...I don’t know what… Miura thinks of me,” Kei mumbled, his gaze trained on his feet. Haruto looked at him.

When Kei talked to Karen, she did not have any looks of displeasure on her face. She would always smile happily whenever they were together. When he had attempted to confess to her for the second time, she had waited for him till his match had ended. If he conveyed his feelings to her, he might not be rejected, just like he had been in their First Year.

However, that did not mean that she held romantic feelings for him as well. There was also the possibility that she would just want to remain friends with him.

By happenstance, he had overheard her talking to Chisa in the classroom at an earlier instance. It had been just before the Cultural Festival. When he had decided to go to her class that day, his ears had picked up a conversation. The only people who had been in the classroom at that time were Karen and Chisa.

“Karen… have you ever had thoughts about dating someone?”

After hesitating a little at Chisa’s question, Karen replied softly. “...I don’t think about such things at the moment.”

“...Why? Don’t you have a person you’re interested in?”

“...I… I don’t deserve to love anyone,” Karen kept her gaze lowered, a slightly lonely smile on her lips.

Kei did not know why Karen thought that way, but if she did not wish to get romantically involved with someone, it could not be helped.

There may come a day when she would have positive feelings towards him. There may come a time when she would naturally start to fall for him. He had continued to wait for her with such thoughts in his mind, but he now found himself unable to convey his feelings for her.

It was just as Haruto had said. Kei was not acting like his usual self. Normally, if something was bothering him, he would not hesitate to ask questions frankly. He would feel more unsettled if he had just left things in an ambiguous state.

The truth was, even now, he still wanted to ascertain her feelings for him—.

(But I can’t do it…)

Kei did not want to be hated by her. He had thought about it in various ways, but he felt as though that was the only reason why he was unable to say it to her. If he was rejected during his next confession, it would really be the end for him. The next chance would not come around any longer.

Kei, who had been walking in silence, turned around when he noticed that Haruto had been staring at him.

“How about I write a love letter on your behalf instead? Leave it to me. I took calligraphy classes in Elementary School.”

“...For only three months.”

“That’s exactly right. If I continued to do calligraphy, I’d have joined the Calligraphy Club instead, and you’d have lost an excellent catcher, namely me. Aren’t you glad that I got bored of it?”

“What’s with that?” Kei looked at him in resignation.

“Well, it’s not just a joke. I mean, I’m always willing to help.”

“I’ll consider it when I’m truly desperate.”

“Why you,” Haruto laughed as he whacked Kei’s shoulder. Kei hit him back in return, and the two of them laughed together.

“Wanna eat hamburgers before heading back?”

“No… I have a place to drop by,” Kei stopped in front of the door to the bookstore.

“I see, I’ll see ya tomorrow then,” Haruto smiled and waved lightly as he walked towards the train station.

After seeing Haruto off, Kei looked through the glass to see the interior of the store.

He was sure that he had loved her from the very beginning.

From the very first instance that he exchanged messages with her, he thought that he loved her. He wanted to meet her. He had passed in front of the bookstore every day, wondering what kind of girl she was.

The first time he saw her giggling with a red pen in her hand as she stood in the stationery corner, he knew that she had been the one with whom he had exchanged messages. Strong thoughts of “If I were to date someone, I would want them to be her.” had entered his mind back then.

Such was still the case to that present moment—.

Kei walked into the bookstore, passing through the automatic doors to enter it. The interior was warm, owing to the functioning heating system. He headed towards the stationery corner where she had been standing on that day.

Picking up a red pen in his hand, Kei smiled as he recalled how Karen had giggled back then.

CHiCO with Honeyworks—.

Even though it had been something that he liked, he had misspelled it. It was no wonder why she had laughed at him.

Karen knew that Kei had been the one to write it. When he found out about it, he was both surprised and a little panicked. He figured that she had been watching him from somewhere. She had written about Kei on the test writing paper at that very spot.

Kei picked up a blue pen amidst the selection of pens that were set out for test writing. After running the pen along the edge of the paper, he returned the pen with a wry smile. “Just what am I doing…”

He was unable to help the fact that he felt inclined to write while he was in that place.

He walked away from that place, and bought books and reference books before leaving the store.

When he looked up at the sky, snow was fluttering down from the clouds. Several passers-by were toting umbrellas as they walked.

He wondered if she would notice it, just like she had on that day—.

Kei shoved his hands into his pockets as he started to make his way towards the train station.

☆◯☆

The following week, on the way back from school, Kei bade Haruto farewell in front of the train station and headed for the bookstore.

(That piece of paper… may have already been thrown away, huh.)

Kei headed towards the stationery corner with that thought on his mind.

The piece of paper on which he had left his message was still there. He had written it with a blue pen, in the hopes that she would see it.

“I love you—”

He wished that he could have told her so directly to her face. He had been unable to build up his resolve to do so. He felt as though that feeling was a mutter that had spilled out of him.

Next to the characters that Kei had written in blue, a small message had been appended in red ink. Those characters had been written by Karen. Kei recognised them right away. They were the same characters from when they had been Middle School students.

“Me too”

Kei inhaled sharply when he saw the written message, immediately raising a hand to cover his mouth.

She noticed it.

It had reached her properly—.

His heart suddenly began to pound at a faster rate, and he found himself quickly leaving that place.

When Kei pushed the door open and hurried out, he almost bumped into a person who had been about to enter the store.

“I’m sorry!” he bowed his head in a panic. He was about to start running immediately, but he stopped his footfalls along the way.

(I don’t know where Miura is…)

They had not exchanged contact information, so he was unable to ask her where she was.

When he crossed paths with Karen when he had been leaving the school, she was with Chisa. He wondered if she was still at school, as she had told Chisa “I have to drop by the staff room, so you can leave first.”. He hoped that that was the case.

“...I… I don’t deserve to love anyone.”

The words that Karen had spoken passed through Kei’s mind.

(There’s no such thing as that…)

Everyone would make mistakes throughout their lives.

It was impossible to live a perfectly beautiful life.

The number of sins that could not be wiped away, and the number of scars would be sure to increase.

Even so—.

A person could definitely never be undeserving of loving another.

He wanted her to smile brightly.

She would be able to make as many fun memories as she liked from that point on.

There were people who were glad to have met her.

There were people who had fallen in love with her.

There were people who wished for her happiness.

—He did not want her to forget that those people were there for her.

Kei rushed through the main gate of the school. Along the way towards the school building, he saw Karen by the fence that was next to the schoolyard. As he had been running, his breathing was laboured. He took a deep breath and held it in for a while.

As though she had noticed Kei as well, Karen stopped walking in surprise.

His heart was beating at a painfully fast rate.

After taking a breath, Kei looked straight at her.

Snow slowly fell and piled up on the ground that lay between the two of them.

“I read the message… that you left at the bookstore.”

Karen’s cheeks were dyed in a deep red as she heard Kei’s words. Her gaze slowly turned towards her feet. “Yeah…”

“Were you serious about that?” Kei asked.

Karen’s eyes wavered in hesitation.

“Is it okay…?” Karen pursed her lips tightly before slowly opening her mouth. “I’m not a good girl or anything… Maybe, if things will change… If you knew about me, Sumida, you would come to hate me…”

“I won’t think so,” Kei replied bluntly, as though he was blocking out her words. He repeated his words again as he looked at her. “I won’t think so.”

“It’s not that I don’t know anything about you, Miura. I’ve always been looking at you… so I don’t hate you, and I won’t think differently of you.”

He had seen her do her best by herself all this while, no matter how hard things were for her. The way she had appeared as she tried to look forwards without giving up too—.

Even so, he did not think that he would hate her, or that he would ever think differently of her.

Karen’s eyes slowly welled up with tears. She turned her gaze down in an attempt to suppress them.

“I love you,” Kei straightforwardly conveyed his feelings to her.

She raised her head quickly, as though she had been flipped upwards by his words.

He wanted them to reach her. His words that were laced with seriousness—.

“Will you go out with me?!!” Kei asked loudly, extending a hand as he bowed deeply to Karen.

He was fine if someone had overheard him. He was fine even if someone had seen him.

He did not know how much time had passed as she remained silent.

Karen stepped out and walked towards Kei. She gently placed her hand atop his outstretched hand.

Kei finally raised his head when he felt his fingertips being grasped in a hesitant hold.

Tears were spilling out from her moistened eyes, leaving her cheeks dampened. Her lips moved as she voiced her barely audible words. “Thank you.”

She looked at Kei with a smile. “I love you… too…”

Kei found himself grabbing her slim hand as she was about to release him from her grasp. She hurriedly wiped her tears off her reddened face with her free hand.

Kei softened his expression at the cute sight.

“...Shall we leave together?”

“...Yeah,” Karen nodded, a bashful smile on her face.

Kei released their hands once, before reconnecting them tightly together.

-Three-

Takano Chisa walked by herself along a dark path, on which snow was fluttering down from the skies. She was on her way back from the bookstore.

(Come to think of it, I didn’t make a reservation for that CD…)

She turned to head for the CD shop, only to change her mind instead. “I’ll do it tomorrow…”

At that moment, her phone began to ring. She took it out of her bag. The caller was Karen.

She picked up the call as she walked. “What’s up?”

“Sorry, Chisa… Are you busy now?”

“It’s fine… Did something happen?”

“Um… I… started going out with Sumida… so I thought that I should tell you about it, Chisa…”

Chisa fell silent for a few seconds as she held her phone in her hand.

“I thought about telling you about it tomorrow, but I wanted to tell you as soon as I could,” Karen spoke quickly, as though she was in a panic. She sounded more nervous than she usually was.

“I see… I got it. Thanks for telling me.”

“I’m sorry for calling you so suddenly… Let’s talk again tomorrow, okay?”

“Karen.”

A smile spread across the lips that Chisa had used to call her name.

“I’m happy for you…”

“Yeah… Thank you,” Karen ended the call, her voice brimming with happiness.

Chisa found that her legs had stopped moving without her realising it. Her hand, with which she was clenching her phone, slowly cooled down.

“Karen… have you ever had thoughts about dating someone?”

“...I don’t think about such things at the moment.”

“...Why? Don’t you have a person you’re interested in?”

“...I… I don’t deserve to love anyone.”

The conversation that they had in the classroom after school surfaced in Chisa’s mind. She subconsciously pursed her lips tightly.

As the snow silently piled up around her, Chisa stood still in her spot. She lowered the hand that she was holding her phone in, and gripped it tightly.

“...Liar…”

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#sumida kei #miura karen #takano chisa #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

Text

Otome Domoyo.: Change 6

Hi, this is Chapter 6 of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

Chisalt index for this part: ★★★☆☆

Previous part (Change 5)

Next part (Change 7)

-One-

By the time he began to make his way towards the school building after his morning practice ended, other students were entering the school one after another. Sumida Kei headed for the main entrance of the school along with Ookawa Haruto, his friend from the same class.

“I’m jealous that our opponents in our next match have good batters. I hope that they won’t be able to score too many points on us during the game.”

“But we have good pitchers and a good defense, don’t we?”

As Kei changed into his school slippers and reached for his sneakers, Haruto laughed and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Ooh, full of confidence, aren’t you? If we lose, you’ll have to walk one round about the whole school on your hands, got it~?”

Kei pushed Haruto, who was in the midst of ruffling his sweaty hair, away and bent back down again. The moment he moved to place his sneakers into his shoe locker, he saw a head of fluffy hair, which was tied up with a red ribbon.

“Well, it’ll be fine if we can keep it up for three strikes. During last year’s game too, our seniors were… wait, are you even listening to me?”

She headed for her class’s shoe lockers, seemingly unable to see Kei due to the fact that there were other students in the way.

“Is that girl Miura?” Haruto asked as Kei followed her with his eyes.

Kei did not give him a reply, simply closing the door of his shoe locker, having placed his sneakers inside.

“She rejected you during our First Year, right? That day’s practice match was terrible. You were a complete wreck. You were hit by a series of home runs… I still have nightmares about that day…”

“You don’t have to remember it,” Kei covered Haruto’s mouth with his hand to silence him. When he dropped his hand, Haruto breathed heavily.

As Kei walked away from the main entrance, Haruto also put away his own shoes before following him.

Karen had just walked out from her class’s shoe lockers.

“Ah… good morning,” Karen seemingly instinctively greeted Kei. He was usually the one who initiated the greeting. Feeling rather surprised, he was slightly delayed in returning the greeting.

Nudged by Haruto’s elbow as he lined up next to him, Kei quickly replied to her. “Good morning.”

“You had… morning practice, right?”

“Did you see us…?” Kei asked.

Karen smiled and gave a small nod. “Do you have a match soon…?”

“It’s next week…” Kei felt rather frustrated that he was unable to continue their conversation properly.

Haruto, who was listening silently next to Kei, glanced at him. He nudged Kei with his elbow, as though signalling him to “Invite her to watch our match.”.

“I can’t just say it so easily,” Kei replied with his eyes.

Haruto shrugged his shoulders, as though he was disappointed by Kei’s reluctance.

“I see. Good luck.”

“Miura,” Kei found himself calling out to her upon seeing her eyes trained on him. “Um, hey…”

“Y-yeah…”

Kei’s heart suddenly began to beat at a faster rate. He clenched his fists tightly as he tried to calm himself down. However, before he could open his mouth, another voice called out to her.

“Karen.”

Karen turned around, her expression immediately brightening up. “Good morning, Chisa!”

“Good morning… I’m planning on going to the bookstore after school today. Wanna come along?”

“Yeah! Come to think of it, there seems to be a collaboration cafe. Shall we go, Chisa?”

“Hmm, that’s true. If you wanna go, Karen, I’m fine with it,” a girl with short hair glanced at Kei as she talked to Karen. She seemed to have been looking at him with a prickly gaze, but as it was for just a single moment, he was unable to be sure of it.

The girl quickly looked away from Kei as she walked up the stairs with Karen.

“So Takano’s classmates with Miura,” Haruto commented as he looked at the two of them walking side by side, a strange expression on his face.

“You know her?”

“We were classmates last year. Do they get along?”

Even if Haruto asked Kei such a question, he did not know the answer to it. He was now in a different class from Karen after all. He had never seen how she spent her time in her class.

(Last year was…)

Memories of Karen being isolated from their classmates and often being found alone flashed through Kei’s mind. Kei himself was also a reason as to why she was ignored by Aikawa Saki and Ihara Rie, whom she used to hang out with.

To his credit, Kei did try to help Karen whenever he could. He did call out to her when she was by herself. However, once he realised that doing so had only served to cause the other girls to direct extra animosity towards her, which thus worsened her reputation, he was unable to talk to her often when they were in the classroom.

Though, he had been able to find and help her with the cleaning up after the Sports Festival.

As their classes had changed upon their ascension into their Second Year, Kei had fewer opportunities to meet Karen. They were only able to greet each other when they met at the main entrance, just like they did mere moments before.

Karen was assigned to the same class as Aikawa Saki and Ihara Rie again, so Kei had wondered if she was isolated in the class, just like she had been the previous year. However, when he saw her earlier, she seemed to be having fun. It was the first time that he had seen her talking to someone else so happily.

A complicated feeling bubbled up in Kei’s chest as he felt as though he had been beaten to the punch. Though, he ultimately concluded that the fact that Karen had a friend that she could trust was definitely a good thing.

(But… just when did they start getting along?)

Kei wondered if it had been a recent development. That day was the first time that he had seen the two of them together.

“Is that Takano a good guy?” Kei asked as he headed towards the classroom with Haruto.

“I dunno if she’s a good guy, but… Her grades are good. She’s always drawing pictures during classes, though.”

“Pictures?”

“She’d draw pictures by herself, even during breaks. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her talking to other girls that much before,” Haruto held a hand to his chin as he walked.

“...Is she a member of the Manga Club or the Art Club?”

“It doesn’t seem so. She always leaves school quickly. Does Miura like manga as well?”

When they walked up the stairs to the corridor, there were other Second Year students milling about it. It was probably because there were still about 15 minutes till homeroom started. Lively voices resounded throughout the corridor.

(She read manga, even during our First Year…)

Kei did not know if she liked manga or not, but he was sure that she got along with that girl that had the name of Takano.

“Do you read manga as well? I haven’t seen you done so before. You don’t even have them in your room.”

When Kei remained silent, Haruto laughed teasingly at him. “Hmm, you just don’t wanna talk about your hobbies, then?”

“I read them occasionally.”

“...Are they the kind that you can talk about with the girls?”

Kei hit Haruto’s side with his elbow, to which he immediately yelled out in protest. “It was just a joke!”

“But for reals, you should try to get a common topic to talk about. Like, try picking up a popular manga series, or something. Otherwise, you’ll just be stuck with nothing but greetings for the rest of your life. You’re not good at making conversation, after all.”

Wrinkles formed between Kei’s eyebrows as Haruto’s painfully accurate words pierced through him.

As Haruto had said, he often found himself at a loss for what to talk about whenever he conversed with a girl. He was unable to keep up with the topics that the girls talked about. His older sister occasionally told him “Don’t just play baseball, you should occasionally get interested in some other stuff as well.”.

Ever since Kei was in Elementary School, he could be found playing baseball whenever he had free time. The moment he returned home from school, he would head to the riverside to play baseball with his friends from his neighbourhood. Such was also the case during weekends. On rainy days, he would occasionally play games at home, but he would get tired of them before long, with an itch to get out of the house as soon as possible rising up within him. When he had free time, he would practise his pitching and the swinging of his bat by himself.

When he was a Middle School student, he attended the Baseball Club’s club practice every day, and ever since he entered High School, the amount of practice he did had increased more than ever.

Whenever he returned home in his muddy Baseball Club uniform, his older sister would frown at him in bewilderment, saying “Are you seriously going to keep playing Baseball till the end of your short youth and school life?”.

It annoyed Kei whenever she said that, as he thought that there was nothing wrong with doing just that. Besides, baseball was not the only thing he did. However, he could not be bothered to tell her that he was thinking things through in his own way, so he would tell her “Leave me alone.” instead.

“Want me to lend you some? Or would you rather drop by my place to read them? I have all kinds of manga.”

“They belong to your older brother, don’t they? Won’t he get mad if you read them without permission?”

“It’s not like they’re gonna decrease in number, right? Besides, he won’t be back till his University break comes around. I’m keeping his bookshelves dusted, so he has no right to complain anyway.”

As they entered the classroom, the boys called out to them. “Good morning, Ookawa, Sumida.”

Kei returned their greetings and headed for his seat.

Haruto’s seat was located diagonally in front of Kei’s. Haruto left his bag at his seat and approached Kei, probably because they were still in the middle of their conversation. Kei figured that he was not likely to drop the topic. As they were both partners in the Baseball Club and friends, Haruto may have been worried about him.

“Rather than worrying about others, worry about yourself first.”

“But Mikako-senpai is the only one for me.”

The Mikako that Haruto was referring to was a Third Year upperclassman who was the manager of the Baseball Club. She had a bright and cheerful personality, and Haruto had been pursuing her ever since he was a First Year student. However, due to his persistent and repetitive confessions, it seemed that she no longer took his words seriously.

“Senpai’s graduating next year, right? She’s retiring from the club after our Summer tournament, isn’t she?”

“Even after she retires, there’s still half a year left to go. I’ll continue to fight throughout that second half. On another note, what kind of manga does Miura like?”

Kei tried to remember the title of the manga that Karen had read in the classroom in the past, but he was unable to recall it. “I’ve never asked her such a thing.”

“You should look it up in secret. If you read the same manga as her, you’ll be able to talk about it, right?” Haruto grinned, hitting Kei’s back forcefully.

(He has a point…)

With that thought on his mind, Kei took his notebook and stationery out from his bag.

When the bell rang and the teacher entered the classroom with the attendance book in hand, the students quickly took their seats. Haruto immediately returned to his seat as well.

As the homeroom period commenced, Kei rested his cheek against his palm and glanced out the window, where the bright Summer sunshine had illuminated the scenery beyond the glass.

When he thought about it, he realised that he did not know much about Karen.

(She seems to like pens though…)

Kei remembered seeing her at the stationery corner of the bookstore when he was in Middle School. He wondered if she still did so. She seemed to stop by the bookstore every so often, after all.

On that rainy day during their First Year too—.

Kei had seen her run away from some boys from another school, who were persistently approaching her, in front of the karaoke lounge. On that day, he had also been invited out to karaoke by the Baseball Club to celebrate the end of the examination period.

When he saw her running away, he found himself giving chase as well, but he soon lost sight of her along the way. His search for her had thus made him too late to rush to her aid.

The moment Kei saw a boy from another school raise his fist against her, blood rushed to his head in his anger, and he grabbed the chest of the other boy. Had Karen not stopped him, he would have probably gotten into a fight with that boy. If that happened, he would not have been allowed to participate in the Baseball Club any longer.

Fighting and injuring students from other schools was an absolutely unforgivable act. However, at that time, he was unable to forgive the other boy no matter what. No matter how worked up he got, there should have still been a part of him that had remained calm, just like he was during a match. Despite that, that calm part of him had also disappeared. It must have frightened Karen.

Kei was unable to follow her immediately as she brushed his hand off and left, looking downwards with a tearful expression on her face.

Even though he felt like he could not just leave her alone—.

When Kei was finally able to move his legs again, she was no longer in sight. As he headed towards the train station in search of her, he caught sight of her in the bookstore. Peering through the glass, he saw her standing in front of the stationery corner, just like she had been doing when he first saw her when they were Middle School Students.

With a pen grasped tightly in her hand, she was looking downwards, an expression that seemed as though she was desperately trying to keep her emotions from overflowing on her face. It did not look as though he could go in to talk to her.

He did not know how much time had passed as he stood outside the bookstore, being pelted by the rain.

When the rain finally stopped and the clear skies finally peeked out from between the clouds, the door opened, with Karen rushing out through it. Kei hurriedly ran to hide behind the building that hosted the bookstore as she yelled out “Shibasaki, wait!!”.

The one who stopped and turned around when he was called out to was a boy from a different school who had left the bookstore a little earlier than she did. Kei initially assumed that he was one of the boys from before, but he was wearing a different school uniform from them. The uniform he wore was the one from Sakuragaoka High School.

Kei did not know what they had talked about. However, as Karen saw the boy off, her mouth had curled into a smile, looking as though her feelings had cleared up.

Kei finally came out from the shadows of the building when Karen left the vicinity. He had been unable to call out to her. It seemed as though doing so would have been unnecessary. He had not been able to do anything. He had even been unable to comfort her. He had never felt as ashamed of himself as he had at that moment. He had felt as awful as he did during the time when he had screwed up and cost the baseball team a match.

Karen had begun to change from that day onwards.

She would put up a fight against her unreasonable circumstances, no matter whether she got hurt or beaten down. She was not weak by any means.

Kei wanted to be a person who was able to make her feel safe, to make her smile, and to be by her side, but—.

The image of Karen smiling with her short-haired female classmate surfaced in his mind. That smile had not been the kind of smile that she had forced around their female classmates when they had been First Year students. Kei felt like he had always wanted to see her smile brightly like that. However, he had not been the one to make her smile. He found the fact that he felt jealous of her friend to be a rather weird and complicated feeling.

(I’ve been overtaken again…)

Kei sighed as he stared out the window. He felt like he would always be too late no matter what.

Besides— he had been rejected when he had confessed to her that one time.

It would be too convenient if she were to give him another chance. He may not have been as hated by her like he was at that time. She also greeted him in the mornings. However, that did not mean that she had come to gain feelings for him.

Kei was almost astounded by the fact that he still had feelings for her. He knew in his head that he should cleanly cut off all his feelings for her once and for all. He was fine with being a friend, if it meant that he could be close to her without a distance between them. However, he wondered if she would be able to think of him as a friend, especially since he had confessed to her once in the past.

(I don’t think I’ll be able to do that…)

Kei did not think that he would be able to forget his feelings for her, or that he could pretend that they had never existed. The only thing he could do was to act like a friend towards her. But, even that too—.

“I can’t do it…” Kei mumbled subconsciously. At that moment, he instinctively caught an eraser that flew at him from the seat diagonally in front of him with his hand.

When he looked up in surprise, he saw his teacher looking at him. “Sumida, are you with us?”

“Present!!” Kei answered immediately. As he did so, he caught sight of Haruto’s shoulders quivering in suppressed laughter as he sat in the seat diagonally to the front of his.

-Two-

On a Saturday in July, as there was no Baseball Club practice that day, Kei visited the bookstore in front of the train station for the first time in a while. After picking out a book about baseball and a reference book, he headed for the counter. Along the way, he stopped in front of a shelf that had recipe books lined up across it. Tucking the reference book and the baseball book under his arm, he picked up a recipe book.

“Ah…”

When Kei turned around at the soft exclamation of surprise, he saw Karen standing there in the aisle. The moment their eyes met, she quickly hid the book that she had in her hands behind her back. The title of the book that he had caught a glimpse of seemed familiar to him, which was probably because there was a poster about it on the walls of the store. “Live Action Adaptation Coming Soon!” was written on it in big characters, and girls from other schools were looking at it excitedly.

“Sumida, you cook, don’t you?”

“Eh?” Kei returned his gaze to the recipe book that he was holding upon hearing Karen’s words. “No… my big sis’s kids asked me to do this.”

“Your older sister’s kids?”

After a few seconds of hesitation, Kei opened his mouth. “Miura… Do you know how to make curry?”

Her eyes widened as his hesitant question drifted into her ears.

After purchasing their books at the counter, Kei left the bookstore with Karen. The corners of her mouth were lifted in happiness as she cradled the bag that contained her newly-purchased light novel.

(So she likes… that light novel.)

Kei did not know what its contents were like, but he figured that it was probably popular with girls. His older sister would often buy similar light novels and manga volumes.

“Why did you suddenly ask if I knew how to make curry?”

“I was asked to babysit my big sis’s kids, and they insisted on having curry for lunch… Miura, are you good at cooking?”

“I often cook at home… But the taste is probably nothing special. Will you be fine with the recipe I know?”

“Is it something that I’ll be able to make? I think I’ll be rather bad at it, though.”

Kei had only cooked during Home Economics lessons, and would rarely cook at home. As such, he was troubled when his older sister had suddenly asked that favour of him.

Kei’s older sister was married with two children who were enrolled in Elementary School. As she had birthed a third child the previous month, she had returned to stay at their parents’ home for the period of her maternity leave. Kei had been asked to take care of her two older children due to the fact that she had a medical examination at the hospital that day. Their mother was taking care of the children at the moment, but she would be leaving the house soon as she had errands to run. Thus, the task of preparing lunch had fallen onto Kei.

“So that’s what happened,” Karen put a hand to her mouth in thought as she listened to Kei explain his situation to her.

They eventually reached the front of the train station.

“...If you’re fine with me… I could help you to cook it?”

“Eh, you’re okay with it?” Kei asked in surprise.

Karen hesitantly nodded a little. “I mean, you’ve helped me before, Sumida…”

She was probably talking about that rainy day from a year ago. It had occurred near that very train station. He thought that she had forgotten all about it.

“At that time, I didn’t thank you properly… didn’t I?” Karen’s lips moved slightly as she lowered her gaze, as if she was recalling her memories from then. A soft voice spilled out from between her lips. “I’m sorry…”

“Let’s leave it at that,” Kei cut her off. He had not done anything worthy of receiving her gratitude.

Karen pursed her lips tightly before continuing to speak. “But…”

“Miura, it’ll be a great help if you assist me with this!” Kei looked straight at Karen.

A smile spread across her face. “Yeah…”

☆◯☆

After shopping at a nearby supermarket, the two of them headed to Kei’s house together. As they climbed the stone steps, Karen looked around in mild surprise.

A large main hall stood tall beyond the gates of the temple, with gravestones lining the adjacent cemetery. As there was a mountain located behind it, the cries of cicadas echoed throughout the place.

A woman, who was sprinkling water onto the Jizo statues that lined the corner of the parking lot, bowed her head in greeting. “Hello.”

When Kei returned her greeting, Karen hurriedly bowed as well.

“So Sumida, you stay at a temple?”

“My dad and grandpa are out for a memorial service. I think my mom’s still here though…” Kei opened the front door of the main house and called out. “I’m home.”

Noisy footsteps sounded out from within the house. Kei’s older sister’s two children ran down the stairs.

“Kei-chan!! Welcome home!!” an energetic boy greeted. He was Akira, a Fourth Year Elementary School student.

Trailing behind him was Kanna, who was in her Second Year of Elementary School. “Kei-chan, welcome home.”

“Wooooah!” Akira roared in excitement the moment he saw Karen. He quickly turned around and hurried through the hallway as he rushed back into the living room. “Grandma, grandma, this is wild, Kei-chan brought a lady home!!”

“Ahahahaha, that can’t be true. If he brings back any girl, she’ll probably turn out to be a ghost…”

Akira dragged Kei’s mother towards the doorway. The moment she saw Kei and Karen standing next to each other, she took a deep breath. She then froze, her mouth hanging agape. She looked to be more surprised than she would if she had seen a ghost instead.

Embarrassed by his mother’s exaggerated reaction, Kei covered his eyes with his hands.

“Hello, pardon my intrusion!!” Karen greeted nervously with a bow.

Kei’s mother seemed to finally regain her senses as she returned Karen’s greeting with a smile. “Welcome!”

☆◯☆

Kei then urged his mother to hurry out of the house to run her errands. After he had successfully herded the noisy Akira and Kanna into the living room, Kei returned to the kitchen.

Wearing an apron that she had borrowed from Kei’s mother, Karen was washing the uncooked rice grains quickly.

“I’ll help you.”

Kei had said that as he stood in the kitchen, but he did not know where to begin. He decided to take the ingredients that they had purchased at the supermarket out of the bags and line them up on the counter, for the time being.

(Should I wash them…?)

Kei thought as he stared at the potatoes. Karen’s hands stopped moving as she looked at him.

“Can I wash them?” Kei asked as he showed the potatoes to her.

“Yes, please,” she smiled.

Kei turned on the tap to wash the potatoes, wiping the soil off of them. “I’m sorry about earlier… Did she ask you many questions?”

Karen seemed to have been in the kitchen with Kei’s mother for a while, making conversation with her.

“Sumida, your mother’s a fun person to be around.”

“She’s just chatty, that’s all…”

Whenever she had free time, Kei’s mother could be found talking to someone. If she had no one to talk to, she would talk to herself in front of the television, and when she got tired of that, she would talk to Kei’s father’s pet chihuahua. When the female parishioners came to visit, their lively small talk would fill the halls for hours.

Kei was sure that his mother had troubled Karen with her persistent questions earlier that day as well. He frowned.

Feeling a gaze on him, Kei turned towards the door. There, he saw Akira and Kanna, who should have been in the living room, peeking through a gap in the door.

(Those guys~~~!!!)

Kei headed towards the door, clenching a potato in one of his hands. He quickly threw the door open. Akira stumbled with a yelp. “Argh!”

“What. About. Your. Homework?” Kei frowned deeply, folding his arms across his chest.

“But, Kei-chan, grandma told us to keep an eye on you to make sure that you don’t do anything crazy.”

“I won’t do such a thing. We’re making curry, so don’t come in!”

“I want ice cream,” Akira grinned, extending his hand towards Kei. He was probably planning on buying it at a nearby convenience store.

Kei gave in, deciding that it was a small price to pay for a moment of silence. He took his wallet out of the pocket of his pants and pressed it into Akira’s hand.

“Can I buy manga magazines too?”

“Don’t tell your grandma… She’ll get angry.”

“Yay!!” Akira jumped gleefully as he sprinted towards the front door with Kanna.

Kei watched them go and closed the door with an irritated expression on his face. “Sorry… they’re rather annoying.”

“Not at all, it’s pretty lively and fun in your house, Sumida,” Karen said, starting to giggle again.

☆◯☆

When they finally finished making the curry and carried it out to the living room, Akira and Kanna were lying down on the tatami mats, reading manga magazines. The wind chimes hanging on the porch rang out refreshingly whenever the air conditioner blew.

After rushing Akira and Kanna to clean up, Kei set out glasses of barley tea to go together with their curry.

Once everyone had seated themselves at the table, they put their hands together. “Let’s eat!”

“It’s goood!” Akira cheered, holding a spoon in his hand.

“It’s tasty,” Kanna smiled as well.

“No kidding, it’s really good…” Kei commented.

Karen, who had a worried expression on her face, smiled in relief. “I’m glad that I decided to make it a little sweeter than usual.”

“It tastes just right. Our curry’s usually way too spicy,” Kei said, bringing a spoonful of curry to his mouth. Karen also began to eat her own serving of curry.

Kei had stopped Karen from leaving immediately after they had finished making the curry, extending an invitation to her with a “Since you’re here, why not eat with us?”.

If Kei had told his mother that he had sent Karen home after she had made the curry without thanking her properly for it, she would have called him an idiot. Besides, even if he had not stopped Karen, his mother had said “Don’t let her leave before I return!”. Considering her behaviour, his mother would probably hurry straight home the moment she finished running her errands.

Above all else— the one who wanted to be with Karen was Kei.

Without an opportunity such as this, he would not have any other opportunity to talk to her. When they were at school, the only times when their paths would cross was when they arrived at school in the mornings, and when they were getting ready to leave the school after classes had ended. He was not even able to go to her classroom, as he had no business there.

(But… being at someone’s home is pretty intimidating, right?)

Kei glanced at Karen, who was seated opposite him at the table. She was chatting openly with Kanna, who was seated very close to her.

“Big sis, the carrots are tasty!”

“Do you like the carrots?”

“Yup, I like them! The star shapes are so cute!”

“Eat lots of them, okay?” Karen smiled.

(It looks like… she’s having fun…)

Karen did not seem to feel awkward in the slightest. Kei thought that he ought to have asked her to try to be a little more thick-skinned, but it seemed that his worries were unfounded.

“Hey, hey, Kei-chan. Are we gonna play catch later?!” Akira asked as he ate his curry.

“Not today. We have a guest with us.”

“Eh, then, what about the Summer festival? Can we go to the Summer festival?”

As Kei hesitated to give Akira a reply, Karen looked at him. “Summer festival?”

“It’s the district’s Summer festival. It’s held every year in the square in front of the community centre.”

“Big sis, will you come too?” Kanna tugged on Karen’s skirt, looking at her expectantly.

Kei also found himself looking at Karen, but he quickly turned his gaze back to his dish of curry the moment their eyes met. “...Miura, will you be coming too?”

“Eh?”

“To the Summer festival… if you want to,” Kei said casually, as he carried a spoonful of curry to his mouth with the spoon that he was clenching in his hand.

Karen remained silent for a moment, seemingly at a loss. Akira and Kanna had fallen into a rare bout of silence as they looked at the faces of Kei and Karen. The sound of the wind chime rang out in the otherwise quiet room.

“...Is it fine if I go too?”

“It’s fine… I mean, it would be a huge help if you were to come along, Miura. I have to look after these two, after all,” Kei lowered his gaze as he spoke, feeling as though he had given her an excuse. “But… it’s a nuisance, isn’t it? To be asked such a thing without prior notice…”

“That’s not it at all.”

Kei looked up at Karen upon hearing her clearly enunciated words. Her lips were pursed in her mild nervousness.

“I want to go to… the Summer festival too,” she smiled, her cheeks dyed red. “It seems fun.”

“That’s good…” Kei quickly shoved the rest of his curry into his mouth upon hearing the sheer relief in his voice.

☆◯☆

When Kei returned home after playing catch with Akira till the evening fell, Karen and Kanna came out of the room at the back.

“Kei-chan, look, look!” Kanna, wearing a pink, goldfish-patterned yukata, rushed over to hug Kei’s legs as he stood at the front door. “Do I look good?”

“Huh? You look good…” Kei stroked Kanna’s head, to which she smiled happily. He looked over at Karen. She was standing there nervously, dressed in a dark blue, morning glory-patterned yukata.

“Then, have fun, you guys!” Kei’s mother waved her hand with a grin as she walked out of the room.

Karen turned back with a bow. “Thank you for the yukata.”

“She lent me your older sister’s yukata…” Karen looked at Kei, a look of embarrassment on her face.

“I think… it’s already started but… shall we go?” Kei asked, his voice taking on a slightly awkward edge. Being unable to make eye contact with her, his gaze remained averted.

“Yeah,” Karen gave a small nod. She crouched down to help Kanna put on her sandals, putting on the sandals that Kei’s mother had left at the door at the same time.

Akira, who had dashed out of the house earlier, called out to them impatiently. “Hurry up!”

They left through the gates of the temple and went down the stone steps, walking along the pathway that was dyed in the colours of the sunset. Kei’s neighbours, who were dressed in yukatas, were also headed towards the community centre.

“...You were playing catch, right?”

Upon hearing Karen’s words, Kei finally noticed the ball that he was clenching in his hands. “I forgot about it…”

He shoved the ball, which he had been fiddling with subconsciously, into the pocket of his pants. Karen put a hand to her mouth as she giggled.

“Sumida, when did you start playing baseball?”

“Since I was in Elementary School… I think.”

“You like it, don’t you?”

“I don’t have any other hobbies.”

“I think that it’s amazing that you’re able to devote yourself to something you like.”

Kei’s expression softened as he looked at Karen. “...How about you, Miura? You like manga and… light novels, right?”

“I like those too.”

“What was that… light novel from before?”

“It’s a series that Chisa told me about…. It’s really interesting. We went to watch the stage play together,” Karen smiled. “I want to watch it again.”

“You’re talking about your classmate Takano, right?”

“Yup. You know about her?”

“My friend was classmates with her in our First Year,” Kei replied before asking her another question. “How are you… finding your current class?”

“It’s fun. Chisa’s there with me,” Karen immediately replied.

Kei recalled the moment when he had been glared at by Chisa at the shoe lockers. It had been their first meeting, and he did not remember doing anything that would have made her hate him on sight. He was not sure why she had glared at him, but he was sure that she held no positive feelings towards him.

Kei rubbed the back of his sweat-damp neck.

(Well, it’s fine, I guess… She seems to be a friend of Miura’s.)

“Before… I was always trying to fit in with everyone. I wasn’t able to say that I liked what I liked with pride, and I was overly conscious about whether I would be laughed at or hated by others. It’s funny, right? I didn’t need to do any of that at all… I was just pretending to be someone I wasn’t… So it wasn’t fun in the least,” Karen pulled a weak smile on her face to hide the pain she felt as she recalled her memories.

“...That sounds rough…”

Kei figured that it must have been suffocating and constricting for Karen to hide her true self in order to blend in with her surroundings. Owing to that, she had to hold herself back from the things that she liked.

An image of Karen looking down during their First Year of High School passed through Kei’s mind.

“I really want you to be able to smile at the things you like…”

Feeling a gaze on him, Kei looked next to him to see Karen staring at him. His face reddened in embarrassment when he noticed that he had been speaking by himself.

“I said something strange, didn’t I? I’m sorry…”

It was difficult to fully comprehend the pain that another person felt in their heart. It was not something that could be easily described in a single word. Besides, no matter how much he wanted to understand her pain, Kei was unable to know it for sure without suffering the same wounds that she did.

There were people in the world whose hobbies did not align with one another’s. There were people who had different ways of thinking. It was not a necessity to have each and every human being understand each other to the fullest. It was enough to be understood by the important people in one’s life. That was much better than seeking the understanding of a person who was unable to comprehend one’s suffering, only to be rejected and feel empty instead.

“No… Thank you…” Karen shook her head a little before smiling at Kei. He looked away from her eyes and shoved both of his hands into the pockets of his pants restlessly.

“Kei-chan, hurry up!” Akira and Kanna rushed towards the community centre, which finally came into view, waving their hands as they called out to Kei.

People had gathered in the not-so-large square to enjoy the Summer festival that was hosted there. As it was a district festival, it was decorated with lanterns, with a few cotton candy and shaved ice stalls in the corner. There were also yakisoba and yakitori stalls, with those places being where the adults of the neighbourhood had gathered to drink beer and chat merrily with each other.

Karen sat down on a bench beneath a tree, happily watching the children running around. Kei, who was holding cups of shaved ice in either of his hands, stopped walking and looked at her. Noticing his gaze, Karen turned towards him.

Kei walked up to Karen, offering her a cup of shaved ice, which was topped with red strawberry syrup and condensed milk.

“Thank you,” Karen looked up at Kei with a smile as she received the cup with both of her hands. He sat down next to her and watched as she scooped up the shaved ice with the spoon and took a bite.

“It’s cold and tasty.”

Even though night had fallen, the sweltering heat remained in the air.

Kei, too, broke into his own serving of shaved ice with a spoon, and carried it to his mouth. “If you find this boring… I’m sorry. There isn’t much to do here…”

“It’s fun. It’s been a while since I last came to a festival. Besides… I’m happy that you invited me here,” Karen laughed lightly and softly. Kei’s heart momentarily skipped a beat at the sight of her.

“...What about a fireworks festival?”

Many people attended the annual fireworks festival. There would probably be many night stalls there. During his time in Middle School, as well as the previous year, Kei had gone to look around it with his friends from the Baseball Club. He had club activities for the majority of his Summer vacation, so that had been the only time when he could go out to take a breather.

“I think I went there when I was in Elementary School…”

“This year…” Kei trailed off.

Karen turned to look at him.

“Why don’t you go?”

“...I wonder… Are you going, Sumida?”

“I…”

Kei figured that he would be invited by his friends from the Baseball Club, just like the previous year. He had been planning to go, but he was hoping that that year—.

Kei casually glanced at Karen, to see that she was still looking at him, as though she was waiting for him to speak.

“I… dunno. I think that it’d be nice to go…” he answered vaguely and bit into his shaved ice. His head throbbed, and he pressed the hand that he was holding his spoon in against it. “...!”

Karen laughed as she took a bite out of her own shaved ice. Kei subconsciously glanced over at her side profile.

“It’s impossible. I don’t want to go out with anyone. It’s a nuisance.”

“I don’t want to be hated, and I don’t want to stand out anymore!”

Kei was unable to forget the words that Karen had used to reject him during their First Year. Even after a year had passed, the pain still lingered in his chest. Things were now different from the way they had been back then. He may be more accepted than he had been at that time— but he wondered if thinking that way was nothing more than a convenient assumption.

They had spent the whole day together, and he had thanked her for her help. She had said such words to him as well. Kei felt as though it would be wrong of him to expect her to have more feelings for him than that.

He only had one chance. It would be detestable of him to expect to have a second chance, especially after he had striked out so spectacularly during his one and only chance.

Kei squeezed his clammy hand into a fist atop his knees.

“...What’s wrong?” Karen asked worriedly, as Kei remained silent with a frown on his face.

Looking up from his hand, Kei looked straight into Karen’s eyes. “Um, hey…”

“Ye…ah…” Karen replied softly, an expression of nervousness on her face.

They found themselves looking at each other under the light of the lanterns, which occasionally swayed in the wind. The ice slowly melted in the cups that they held in their hands.

A minute had probably gone by, just like that.

Upon hearing some lively voices, Kei regained his senses and quickly looked away from Karen. “That… yukata looks good on you.”

Those were the words that he was finally able to voice.

Kei turned his reddened face down and drank the rest of his shaved ice, which had almost completely melted into water. Despite that, his heated face was still unable to cool down.

Karen’s eyes widened, then she replied with a bashful smile. “Thank you.”

Karen really did look good in the yukata. Just being able to tell her that was a good achievement for Kei. The yukata went well with the red ribbon that she had used to tie her hair.

(She really is beautiful…)

“Big sis, let’s play with sparklers,” Kanna rushed over and hugged Karen’s lap to show her the pack of sparklers that she was holding.

The sparklers seemed to have been distributed to the children. When Kei looked over at the community centre, where lively voices were ringing out, he saw children gathering together to set off the sparklers.

Akira, too, was showing off the sparklers he had in his hand. “Kei-chan, sparklers!”

Kanna tugged Karen off the bench by the hand, and led her towards the area where people were playing with sparklers. Karen crouched down with Kanna as she took out the sparklers from the bag and lit them up with a flame.

Kei sat on the bench and watched Karen laugh happily with Kanna as they looked at the crackling sparks of the sparklers.

If he were to confess to her again, and ask her to go out with him—.

He wondered if she would end up replying with an “It’s impossible.”. Or, if she would give him a different answer instead.

Kei took out the baseball ball that he had in his pocket and looked at it. He turned it around in his hand before squeezing it tightly.

When he raised his gaze, Karen was looking over at him.

“Kei-chan,” Kanna and Akira waved their hands as they called out to him. When he saw Karen waving her hand with a smile as well, Kei smiled and put down the cup that had contained his shaved ice as he stood up.

(When it comes to things like that… you won’t know until you try, right?)

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#sumida kei #miura karen #takano chisa #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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deus-ex-mona · 3 years

Text

Otome Domoyo.: Change 4

Hi, this is Chapter 4 of the Otome Domoyo. novel!

Karen love index for this part: ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Previous part (Change 3)

Next part (Change 5)

-One-

That night, Karen returned to her bedroom after finishing with the post-dinner cleanup. She headed to her desk and opened the drawer. Instead of taking out her diary, she reached for the yellow ribbon at the back of the drawer.

Those days were hard and painful, and had made her feel like running away.

However, those days were not all bad—.

She had talked to Arisa for the first time in the changing room when they were changing for Physical Education class. It had been a trivial conversation. She had picked up the small mascot character that Arisa always had attached to her bag, and was just trying to return it to her.

Karen remembered the little bit of courage she had mustered at that time. She was unable to speak to Arisa immediately, out of a fear that she would just be a bother or hated instead. However, Arisa did not hate Karen for picking up the mascot character for her, and she was happy about it.

Just that alone made Karen feel really happy as well.

She wondered if she would be able to tell Arisa about it someday—.

Karen had always assumed that she would no longer see nor get involved with Arisa ever again. However, if she did not courageously take the first step forward, she would not ever be able to change.

There was the possibility that Arisa may not forgive her. Even so, she still wanted to tell her “I’m sorry.”, the words that she had been unable to say honestly in the past.

Just like when Arisa had loudly told her “You can’t leave things as they are!” in the classroom.

Karen wanted to tell Arisa how she presently felt, how she presently felt—.

(This time, I’ll be the one to look for you…)

Karen gripped the ribbon tightly and closed her eyes.

“Karen, would you like some tea?” her mother called out with a knock on the door.

“Yes, coming,” Karen replied, putting the ribbon away again.

She wanted to face her past directly. Instead of trying to forget about it. Instead of trying to erase it—.

☆◯☆

After the school break, Karen went to school feeling more nervous than usual. It was the first time in a long time that she had tied her hair up with a ribbon. It was not the yellow ribbon she had used when she was in Middle School, but rather a new red ribbon that she had bought over the break. She had also worn her skirt a little shorter than usual.

Karen remembered the day when Arisa had tied up her long straight hair.

(Did Arisa feel this way too…?)

She felt a little scared. Even so, if she did not take the first step forward, she would just remain standing still forever.

When Karen entered the school building, other students had also just arrived at school, one after another. As she heard their lively voices, she pursed her lips a little tighter and took her school slippers out from her shoe locker.

“Good morning.”

Karen slowly turned around when she was called out to, her heart pounding in nervousness.

Standing there with both of his hands in the pockets of his pants was Sumida Kei.

Karen met his eyes with a bright smile on her face.

“Good morning…” she replied softly. He looked to be astonished by her reply.

Feeling a little embarrassed, Karen quickly looked away as she changed her shoes.

Walking past them at that moment were Aikawa Saki and Ihara Rie. The two of them were talking happily with each other. “Yannow~.”

“Good morning…” Karen called out to them, but before she could finish her greeting, Saki scrunched up her face unpleasantly and clicked her tongue. The two of them walked away, ignoring Karen as they went.

That day, Kei had saved her from the boys who had chased her after karaoke, and she had gone home completely drenched. After that, Saki and Rie had never contacted her again. The text messages that Karen had sent them also went unread.

That was why she had a feeling that that would have happened—.

The back view of the girls walking up the stairs overlapped with the images of her classmates from her First Year of Middle School. At that time too, even if she called out to them, they would not reply to her, choosing to continue to ignore her as if they could not see her instead.

The smile she had on her face was on the verge of disappearing.

Noticing that she was about to look down again, Karen forced herself to look towards her front.

(It’s not as if I didn’t know what would happen…)

Even if she got hurt, even if she was isolated again, she would never return to the way she was in the past. She had resolved to do as such in her heart. She would not betray her true feelings ever again.

(I’ll be okay, I’m sure that there are people who would understand me…)

Karen took a deep breath and fixed her smile again as she started to walk.

She was used to being alone. She was used to being hated. She already knew the pain in her heart well. She was not scared. Her present self was different from the way she had been in the past.

Karen went up the stairs and entered her classroom, to see her classmates gathering wherever they wanted and talking to each other. Normally, she would have headed straight for her seat upon entering her classroom, where she would pass the time till the homeroom period started by talking to Saki and Rie.

However, when the two of them saw Karen enter the classroom, their faces paled for a moment before they quickly left their seats. They headed towards a group of girls and joined in on their conversation, with deliberate laughs.

“Good morning!” Karen called out a little loudly, her heart pounding more intensely in her nervousness.

Her classmates stopped talking for a moment and turned towards her.

She could hear the girls giggling at her. “What’s that…”

“What’s wrong with that girl?”

“What’s with that ribbon?”

She could hear whispered ridicules being directed her way.

Karen knew that she would receive such a reaction. It was as if she had returned to her First Year of Middle School.

Karen repeatedly told her anxious self that she would be okay as she headed towards her seat.

It was different from that time—.

(I have to change…)

Sitting down in her chair, she mumbled softly to herself. “I’ll do my best.”

-Two-

When the lunch break finally rolled around after the morning lessons had ended, Karen let out a sigh of relief. Looking around the classroom, she saw everyone else moving around their seats with their lunch boxes in their hands.

When she was in her First Year of Middle School, she would always sit alone at her seat to eat her school-provided lunch. That had been the norm for her at that time. She had no idea how many times she had to suppress her tears as she listened to her classmates chattering happily around her.

Compared to that time, things seemed better to her at the present moment. There was no need for her to eat in the classroom as her lunch was not a school-provided meal.

Karen sighed as she got up from her seat. When she tried to leave, with her lunch box and her water bottle in her hands, her shoulder bumped into someone and she stumbled a little. She instinctively reached for the nearest desk and turned around, to see Saki, who was about to leave.

“Rie, I’m gonna head to the school store.”

“Wait, Saki,” Karen boldly called out to her. She looked at Karen for a moment with a terribly piercing glare. Karen found herself unable to continue her words when she saw how Saki had been looking at her as though she was nothing but an annoyance.

Saki looked away and left the classroom with Rie. Karen could do nothing else but to see them off.

(It can’t be helped…)

Karen left the classroom and walked through the corridor, heading towards the stairs that led up to the rooftop. She figured that it would be more peaceful to eat her lunch there, as compared to the classroom.

As she walked past the bathroom, she heard the voices of several girls from within. She figured that they were fixing their makeup as they lined up along the sinks.

“I heard that Saki confessed to Sumida the other day.”

When Karen overheard their conversation, she found herself coming to a stop.

“Eh, that’s unexpected of her? I thought that Saki liked boys that liked to play around more. I mean, Sumida’s rather serious, isn’t he?”

“But he’s cool, no?”

“Don’t tell me, have they started to date?”

“Wasn’t she rejected by him? I’ve never seen them together at all.”

“Ain’t that right?” the girls laughed together.

“Sumida’s kinda cool, isn’t he? Mind if I get with him?”

Karen recalled the words that Saki had spoken while she was seated on her desk.

(So Saki… confessed to him…)

On the day of the exam, Saki had run off to leave together with Kei. Karen wondered if she had done it on that day.

She realised that the girls had left the bathroom and made a hasty retreat.

“Sumida seems to have a girl that he likes. He said as much to the girls who confessed to him.”

“Eh, is she a classmate of his?”

“I think she’s a friend of his from Middle School?”

“Right? He looks like he’s still holding on to his first love.”

Karen’s gaze trailed down a little as she overheard the conversation of the girls as they left.

Kei definitely did not have feelings for her anymore after she had turned him down harshly. She was just a classmate whom he greeted in the morning. Saying that he had a girl that he liked was probably just an excuse he had to reject someone. Or, perhaps, he had another girl that he liked.

(It’s not me…)

Karen had rejected him in such an awful way. In addition to that, she had only ever shown him a terrible attitude.

She had not even been able to properly tell him “Thank you.” for saving her the other day. She had no idea how to say those words to him. She was not confident that he would even want to talk about that situation, much less remember it. She had gotten him involved in it, and made him feel bad about it. Even so, there was no way that he could possibly like her.

She found herself having some hopes—.

(Hopes…?)

Karen slowly raised her head.

She wondered if she still wanted him to be in love with her.

“Sumida!”

Her heart skipped a beat when a boy’s voice suddenly rang out. When she turned around, a few boys were running up to Kei as he walked down the corridor. Noticing that he had a bag of bread in his hand, she wondered if he had gone to the school store.

As Kei was about to enter the classroom while talking to the other boys, he suddenly stopped. He turned towards Karen, as though he had noticed her gaze. She looked away in a strained manner as she changed her course and quickly left the place.

Her heart rate had sped up, as though she had just finished a run.

She rushed up the stairs leading to the roof, throwing the door open and stepping through the doorway. The sunlight was so strong that her eyes seemed to have been blinded.

Relieved that no one else was there, Karen walked up to the fence and squatted down with her lunch box.

(Even though I said such a thing to him that one time… how convenient it is for me.)

When that thought entered her mind, her heart began to ache for an unknown reason. She did not want to know the true nature of that pain just yet.

☆◯☆

The sound of a whistle echoed throughout the back garden, which rested beneath the setting Sun. Karen figured that the Swimming Club was practising in the pool, as she could hear the splashing of water, along with the voices of people.

As a hot breeze rustled the leaves of the trees that were planted along the fence, Karen was crouched down beside it all by herself. She tried to stretch out her hand as far as she could through the wire mesh, however, she was unable to reach her red ribbon, which had fallen onto the opposite side of the fence. “Hmmm!”

Karen lost her balance and stumbled, instinctively making a grab for the wire mesh. The cicadas, which had probably been surprised by the movements of the fence, cried out and flew away. She gave up and retracted her hand, brushing off the leaves that had fallen onto her hands and arms.

Physical Education class that day had been conducted in the pool. Owing to that, when she had changed her clothes, she removed her ribbon and kept it in her locker in the changing room. However, when she returned to the changing room after the lesson had ended, it had disappeared.

She searched around the pool after classes had concluded for the day, and finally managed to find her ribbon. She had not been the one to drop it. Someone else had purposefully thrown it over the fence.

Karen looked up at the fence. It did not look to be too high to climb over. There was no one else around who could possibly see her.

After a beat of hesitation, Karen grabbed the fence with both of her hands and pulled her body up. She tried to catch her feet onto the wire mesh, but her shoes slipped.

(Maybe if I had a little more momentum…)

Karen dropped to the ground and walked a distance away from the fence to make a run-up to it. However, she failed to climb it, and landed on her bottom with a thud. “Ouch!”

She thought about giving up for a moment, but she shook her head to dismiss that cowardly thought. She would definitely have regrets if she were to give up just like that. Plus, that ribbon was important to her.

“I’ll definitely get it back!” she declared in determination, pushing herself off the ground.

When she was about to make another attempt, she heard a puzzled voice call out to her. “Miura?”

Turning around in shock towards the sound of the voice, Karen saw Kei wearing the uniform of the Baseball Club, glove in hand. He seemed to have just come out of his club room. He had been called out by their homeroom teacher once their class had ended, which had probably delayed him from his club activities.

Karen’s eyes darted around for a moment, finding herself to be at a loss. “I-it’s nothing…”

Kei walked up to Karen and looked towards the fence. Then, he glanced at her hair, as if to confirm his assumptions. “Is that yours, Miura?”

Without waiting for a reply, Kei handed his glove to Karen. “Hold that for me.”

Karen looked at his face in surprise.

Kei kicked off the ground and grabbed the wire mesh, easily climbing up the fence and jumping down onto the other side of it. While Karen was looking at him in amazement, he picked up the ribbon and made his way back over the fence.

“Here.”

Karen reached her hand out towards the ribbon that was extended towards her.

“Th… thank you…” she mumbled, squeezing the received ribbon tightly in her hand. She felt as though she had to say something to him, but she found herself unable to voice her words properly.

The moment he turned around, Karen averted her gaze and remembered the glove that she had subconsciously been pressing against her chest. She returned it to him. “Here…”

Noticing that her heart was thudding rapidly, she quickly looked down.

On that rainy day, Kei had rushed towards her. If he had not come, she may have ended up in a worse state. The instant she saw him, she had been so relieved that all her strength had left her body.

However, at that time, she had been so upset and scared that she had left him there and ran away, even though he had been worriedly offering his hand to her. When she reflected on it, she had shown him a really terrible attitude.

(I have to apologise to him…)

It was not just for that instance. She wanted to apologise for the words she had used to reject him when he had confessed to her. She wanted to apologise for not giving him proper answers whenever he greeted her.

She also wanted to apologise for spitting out “Disgusting.”, filled with contempt at him—.

(I’ve only ever said horrible things to him…)

She could not blame him if he hated her. She was sure that she had disappointed him.

Karen raised her head, squeezing the ribbon in her hand a little more tightly.

“Um… I’m sor…”

“I’m sorry.”

Karen looked at Kei in surprise when he had been the one to say those words first. He pressed his lips together as he tried to lower the brim of his hat.

He had nothing to apologise for. Rather, the one who should have said those words was Karen herself.

Kei frowned deeply as he looked at Karen.

“It may have been my fault…” he apologised, his gaze trailing downwards.

Karen guessed that Kei was talking about Saki. She heard rumours that he had rejected her confession. That might have been the cause of the incident on that rainy day.

Suddenly being ignored by Saki and Rie, what had happened with her ribbon as well—.

“I’m sorry,” Kei repeated again.

Karen relaxed her shoulders and smiled a little. “It’s fine…”

There had probably been more than one reason for that incident. Even if Kei did not reject Saki’s confession, she might have orchestrated that same incident on a different occasion.

Karen did not have a place by their sides. She was sure of it from the very beginning—.

That was all there was to it. Karen was not going to pin all the blame on Saki. She was not the only one at fault. Karen herself had a part in it too. She was afraid of being isolated, so it could be said that she was using them for her own convenience. Such a twisted relationship definitely would not have lasted long.

“It’s not your fault, Sumida… I’m the one who’s at fault.”

“But it can’t be your fault, Miura…”

“It’s mine… I’m bad at this… I don’t know how to make friends,” Karen smiled awkwardly and changed the subject. “Oh, right. Why did you… run over to me the other day?”

“Eh…?”

“By the bicycle parking lot…”

Karen was curious as to why he had been at that place. As it was located behind the train station, it was a place that was rarely visited by people. She doubted that he had just so happened to be passing by. She wondered if he had parked his bicycle in that bicycle parking lot.

Kei fell silent for a moment, before looking away from her. “Miura, I… saw you running that way, so…”

“So you were… worried about me?” Karen asked in surprise.

Kei lowered the brim of his hat to hide his facial expression as he replied. “Of course I was.”

“I have to get to my club activities…” he said, rushing towards the schoolyard.

As she watched his back, Karen returned to her senses and shouted loudly at him. “Thank you!”

As though her voice had managed to reach him, Kei turned back.

“Hey, that ribbon… looks good on you!” he grinned bashfully as he spoke. With that said, he turned around and sprinted away at full speed.

Karen’s eyes widened in shock. She looked down at the ribbon that she had been clenching in her hands. Her cheeks suddenly heated up as a blush blossomed across her face.

“It’s the first time… that someone said that to me…”

She had worn a ribbon in Middle School as well, but she was always laughed at, with fingers being pointed her way behind her back.

Karen covered her mouth with the back of the hand that she was holding her ribbon with. She was so uncontrollably happy that she had begun to smile widely.

Up till then, no one had ever said such a thing to her—.

Even the sound of her heartbeat was beating loudly. Karen raised her head as she watched Kei retreat into the distance. When he disappeared from her sight, the wind blew, lightly tousling the ends of the ribbon, along with Karen’s hair.

She wondered when the last time that she had been able to smile so naturally was.

Feeling refreshed, she looked up at the clear blue sky.

There were times when she made mistakes. She may hurt or be hurt by someone else. But, even though the path she chose was not pretty, she felt as though it was not as bad as she initially thought. There was a meaning to her existence, and she met someone, who she was sure would be important to her.

So it was not that bad—.

Karen re-tied her hair with the slightly dirty ribbon.

(I don’t hate the way I am now.)

On her path home from school, Karen stopped in front of the bookstore. “Oh right.” she recalled as she opened the door.

When she stopped by the stationery corner like she usually did, there were new pens lined up in front of her. As she picked up a pen, she remembered a series of exchanges that she had participated in on the test writing papers, and began to smile.

She wrote on the paper with the pen in her hand, the ink turning out to be of a shiny pastel colour.

“Yeah, it’s cute,” she smiled to herself.

—On that day, when Karen had passed by in front of the bookstore, there was a boy standing in front of the stationery corner. He was still wearing a new uniform, and carrying a new bag containing items for his club activities that was not the least bit dirty. She was sure that he was in his First Year of Middle School, just like she was.

His hair was short, and he looked to be a little taller than Karen herself. He was smiling mischievously and happily as he wrote something on the test writing paper, before immediately returning the pen and leaving when his friends called for him.

“CHICO with HoneyWarks is the best!!”

The blue-inked characters that were left in the corner of the test writing paper looked to have been written enthusiastically. As a bonus, there were spelling mistakes in two places.

However, Karen found herself relating to the feeling of floating in happiness, giggling as she picked up a red pen.

At that time, Karen had a lot of things that she was looking forward to. She had so many things that she wanted to do, as well as so many things that she liked. Her heart had been pounding in eager anticipation of the new days that had just begun.

She had not been worried about the eyes of the people around her. She had not been afraid of being hated by anyone. She had been able to proudly say that she liked what she had liked. Even if someone laughed at her, that was just the way “she” was.

Karen was still unfamiliar with her current self.

However, it seemed to be enjoyable—.

Deciding to make her purchases before heading home, she brought the pen, along with a pen of a different colour, to the counter.

When she made her payments and left the store, the sky was clear, though a light drizzle was raining down. People came to a stop when they noticed the rainbow in the sky, with some of them even taking pictures of it.

Karen smiled as she looked at the rainbow, taking out her newly-bought folding umbrella and opening it. She happily twirled her umbrella around as she walked towards the train station.

A boy and a girl wearing uniforms from another school were walking happily under a single umbrella.

Even though they may hesitate, even though they may get hurt, people would still seek out another, and fall in love with them. Such was not a bad thing at all. There was no need to be afraid of change.

Get to know the pain.

There was no need for a bookmark.

Now, on to the next page—.

#honeyworks #otome domoyo.#miura karen #sumida kei #karenai circulation intensifies #instant ramen instructions comprehensions

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