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yoichichi · 3 years

Text

Sitting on Karasuno’s Lap

Karasuno(sep) x reader

warning(s): reader insecurity about size, v slight timeskip spoilers Kageyama being grumpy and stupid and some grammar issues prolly 😬 i think that’s about it but lemme know if you think I need to add anything else!

a/n: got a request for reader being apprehensive about sitting on the boys from karasuno’s lap cause of their size so this is what that is! I hope this comforts u anon ily :(

And lemme say this: all these boys would most definitely love to be smothered and cuddled under their s/o pls they quite literally live for it <3

characters: daichi, sugawara, asahi, tanaka, noya, tsukishima, yamaguchi, kageyama, hinata

Daichi

I really feel like Daichi’s the kind of guy who loves picking up his s/o when they hug

He always does the classic bear hug grip around your midsection and then before you know it he’s squatting a little and lifting you up - ur size does NOT matter, if he can get your feet off the ground even a little he’s cheesing big time

He just thinks it’s so cute when you squeal or laugh and smack his arms, and you always get a hearty laugh out of him after before he grabs your face - kind of aggressively - and is leaving silly slobbery kisses all over it :((((

So basically there’s no way you can escape his infamous hugs

BUT ANYWAYS

Because of this he’d also definitely love for you to sit on his lap too!

And because he’s always lifting you when you least expect it, when you mention why you’d rather not sit on his lap he’d respect your answer and reassure you it’s not a problem,,,, while also kind of being >:( and passive aggressively explain why you most definitely wouldn’t crush him

Now next time he comes home to you, not only is he lifting you, but he’s carrying you to your bedroom to cuddle, and then maybe you’ll sigh and give in to sitting on his lap <3

Suga

He’s generally more of a lay down cuddly or holding hands in public kinda guy

But there was something about sitting down on the couch after work and seeing you come out of the kitchen with a big smile on your face that just made his heart melt and shoot his arms out with grabby hands

Of course you oblige and sit next to him and start playing with his hands, waiting for him to talk about his day, but then he’s looking at you like :( and tugging at the hem of your shirt

“No, I want to cuddle.”

When you look at him confused he groans and tugs you onto his lap with his face buried into your neck, and almost instantly you can feel him relaxing into the couch

As soon as you think he’s relaxed enough, you go to move off him, anxious you’ve been sitting on his lap too long, but when you go to move he grabs on tighter and looks up at you like 🥺

You realize that maybe he’s just fine when he pulls you father into him - if that’s even possible - and starts to drool cause he’s passed out from being so comfy <3

Asahi

It’s pretty common for Asahi to come home from a long day at work and then rest his head on your thighs while you play with his hair and let him talk about your day

It’s something he looks forward to when he’s driving home :(

Being held and comforted by your s/o is absolute heaven to him, so when you walk through the door with a big sigh while you’re rolling your shoulders, his first thought is to return the favor !

The two of you are standing in your living room now with your head in his chest while he’s rubbing your back, periodically kissing the top of your head

“Wanna sit down angel?”

When you agreed you didn’t know that meant sitting on the couch with you straddling his lap, his hand still holding your head in his chest

But before you can protest and squirm away he’s kissing you and humming while he’s still rubbing your back and soothing you :(((

This baby wouldn’t even give you a second to think about your insecurities:(

Tanaka

He’s gonna assume somebody’s said something about you almost immediately

Cause he just can’t grasp that you yourself have decided you’re too big for him

He just kind of looks at you like 🧍🏻🤨 uhhhh sit tf down I’d like you to cuddle me please 🤨?

“Tanaka, I’ll crush you.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point babe! Smother me ☺️❣️” really does not get the message here

Once you explicitly tell him you think you’re just too big to sit on his lap he kind of freaks

Like full on grabbing your face and shaking his head trying to do anything to convince you, you most definitely are not too big to sit on his lap

Once he convinces you he’s kissing you everywhere until you giggle cause he hates seeing his baby upset :(

Noya

I’m so sorry but at first he doesn’t even comprehend it’s an insecurity you have and thinks you’re nervous about it because of his size

“Wow, never heard ‘tiny but mighty’ babe?”

Like noya baby pls, this ain’t about you 😭

Is quite literally begging you to sit on his lap at home until you get frustrated and tell him you’re worried you’ll “crush” him because of your size - not his

He’d be kind of caught off guard at first but within seconds he’s reassuring you that’s not something you need to be worried about at all, not with him

Very similar to Yamaguchi he’s gonna convince you to give in and then absolutely smother you with affection afterwards

He’s now made it his goal to change your mindset about your size and add some more positive connotation - baby boy loves you :(

Tsuki

Will not take no for an answer either 😭

AT FIRST HE TAKES IT PERSONAL NGL

LIke he’s sitting there looking at you thinking you’re commenting on his body type like “what, you think I’m built like a string bean so I can’t handle you sitting on my lap 😐.”

AGAIN, this isn’t about you babes

So once you explain to him that no, it’s not about him it’s about you, he just:

“That’s stupid.” LIKE he’s very upset that you feel that way and doesn’t know how to express to you that you aren’t gonna crush him so the only way he knows how to tell you that is that you’re stupid for thinking that way 😭

He’d try to be physically reassuring afterward though

Kissing your forehead and telling you how it makes him sad you think that way, and why don’t you just sit on his lap so he can prove that’s not the case

You’re upset and uncomfortable at first, not really being able to relax, but after some lovin from tsuki and distraction you relax into him and bit and get comfy

He definitely makes it a regular thing so you can feel more comfortable with him :(

Yamaguchi

One of the most reassuring for sure!

The moment he felt your unease or a hint of apprehensiveness at the idea of sitting on his lap he’s investigating

Holding your face in his hands and asking you what’s wrong like 🥺

When you tell him you’re insecure about being too heavy to sit on his lap he’s definitely heartbroken, but knows this isn’t about him

So he’s quickly leaving really light kisses on your cheeks and hands promising you that’s not the case whatsoever all while he’s slowly coaxing you onto his lap

Once he’s gotten you to actually do it he’s all smiley and blushing - he’s smiling so big you can actually feel it when he’s kissing you

“Mmmmm, wanna nap?”

Just overall very affirming and attentive to your feelings :(

Kageyama

If you acted any bit shy or insecure about sitting on his lap he’d be ~so so confused

He’d be home from a long day of practice and flop down on the couch and all he wants is to be smothered by his baby 😭

He’s grumpy and just kind of grunts when you sit down next to him to talk about your day and ask about his and he just kinda reaches out to you and starts grabbing at your hips and you’re like 😳 uh yes?

You wouldn’t be budging and he’d get this pout and be all “sit on my lap 😡 I wanna cuddle”

Him asking for affection so bold like this isn’t always common for him so you don’t wanna say no BUT you’re also insecure about being too heavy so you just kinda pull him towards you and shake your head

“Why don’t you lay on me instead? I’ll play with your hair hmm?”

He’d just kind of look at you like ..... but I want you to lay on me and I can play with your hair

LMAO AND NOW YALL ARE JUST LOOKING AND KIND OF GENTLY TUGGING AT EACH OTHER LIKE 😕

But unsurprisingly the 6’2 beefy professional volleyball player is stronger than you so he just stands up and PICKS you up instead and then carries you to the bedroom where he flops down with you laying on him

At first you’re kind of frustrated and insecure cause you didn’t tell him why you were avoiding it cause you didn’t want to bring it up but then you hear Kageyama sigh and start rubbing your back from his spot underneath you and you soon realize this mf just passed out

Surely if he’s ok with you LAYING on him maybe sitting on his lap next time won’t be so awful

Hinata

Another confused baby but actually realizes somethings wrong 😭

Y’all are having a simple movie night with some pals all cuddled up on the couch and he notices there’s not too much room there, unless you sit on his lap of course, which he obviously likes the idea of

The movies playing so he tugs on your shirt a little to get your attention and whispers to you about sitting on his lap

But instead of happily hopping on like he imagined, you look away and shake your head, mumbling something about paying attention to the movie

There’s people over so he knows now isn’t the right time to pry, but he can also tell when you’re even the tiniest bit upset so he’s not gonna forget to mention something to you later tonight

You two would be getting into bed that night when he’d bring it up

“Hey, did something happen today?”

You’d tell him no but unfortunately for you he doesn’t stop asking different kinds of questions until he gets you to talk about it

When you mention that you’re insecure about being too heavy for those kinds of affection he would get so so sad, like looking at you like this ☹️ nearly tearing up

Cause he just sees it as him not doing his job as your s/o to make you comfortable and happy with him - even if that’s not actually the case

He won’t stop asking always for you to cuddle him like that but he won’t pester if you say no - you will see him get a lil pouty though

——————

I hope you guys enjoyed!!

requests are open ( I miss hq pls feel free to send some in :((()

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91

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drcalmreid · 4 years

Text

friends - s.r. (pt. 2/2)

pairing: spencer reid x female reader

summary: pure angst - friends with benefits always ends up with one person scorn out of jealousy...and in this case, it’s spencer. especially when he sees you flirting with one of his BAU partners. (pt. 2/2)

content warning: consumption of alcohol, indication of sex (no smut!), mention of narcotics/psychological disorders

word count: 5.1k // part one

authors notes: yall know the drill….lyrics = indicate a flashback!! Make sure you read part 1 first! :)

YOUR POV

“JJ, will you get a look at these two…I don’t know which one I’m in love with more.” Penelope squeals, bouncing back and forth on her neon pink heels. I roll my eyes and give her a playful shove, but continue dancing near Luke. Luke smiles his model-status grin and moves to the music pulsing through the bar.

“Jesus, Pen! How much have you drank?” JJ smiles as she reaches the dancefloor yet again. I look over JJ’s shoulder to see Reid, blank stare locked on the dance floor, his fingers swirling around in the condensation on the table. Spencer blinks quickly as our eyes meet and he shakes his head, looking down again at the table.

“How much I have drank is irrelevant,” Penelope yells over the music and takes another sip from her half-filled drink, most of which has ended up on the dance floor.

“I think it's pretty relevant,” Emily chuckles, as Tara smiles in agreeance.

“I mean, c’mon! Look at them!” She raises a finger at Alvez and I, but I shake my head at her attempts to play cupid. I spin to face Luke and pull him closer to me, “Wanna give her a show?” He tilts his head, processing my words as I smile at him.

“(y/n),” Luke grins. “I’m extremely uncoordinated. I’m barely dancing as is.”

“I think you’re doing just fine,” I say, wrapping my arm around him. The alcohol in my system, anger, confusion, and overall emotions combine and push my confidence to an absurd level. I feel as if I’m watching myself from the outside as I dance with Luke. He throws his head back in a smooth laugh as I spin against him. I move my hips steadily and lead Luke’s hands around my waist; I rest my head on his chest as our bodies sync to one another.

“Oh my god, they’re really going for it.” Tara gawks through laughs and Emily throws invisible dollars in our direction. Penelope fans herself as if it will cool her down as JJ raises her eyebrows and chews on the end of her straw, casually trying to look over her shoulder at our table, but I know she’s watching Spencer. I just can’t let him in, I can’t. I did that once and I ruined everything. I still don’t even know how, but I did. So if I keep dancing, keep drinking, keep moving, I won’t be able to stop and think. And rethink. And think again and again, replaying every memory of the time I spent with Spencer. My hazey eyes lift from the grimy club floor just in time to see Spencer bolt up from the booth and out the bar doors.

All of your friends have been here for too long

They must be waiting for you to move on

“I love you,” the words slip out of my mouth like silk and I shoot my eyes open in the dark hotel room. Fuck. My sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion have made me become a love-struck puddle in his arms. “Spencer,” I whisper among the darkness, but there’s no answer. Thank God. Of course I love Spencer. I always have. The last four months have been some of the best of my life, but we both agreed that we wouldn’t place pressure on ourselves and keep everything private...but private means bottled up, and my bottle’s full. Hell, it’s overflowing. We’ve spent endless nights together, limbs tangled together, Spencer’s finger combing through my hair, or my hands running through his curls as he lays on my chest, his fingers tracing my sides. Tonight, Spencer breathes heavily beside me as sleep consumes him. More times than not Spencer falls asleep before I do, and I can’t help but think he’s able to because we’re together and finally comfortable and peaceful after the most physically and mentally draining days. Spencer releases a long breath and squeezes me tighter, as if I’m going to slip out of his grip and he’ll never hold me like this again.

The morning comes sooner than I’d hoped as I open my eyes to an empty bed and bright sun rays pouring through the cheap hotel curtains. I rub my face with my palm as my words come back to me. They echo in my head, bouncing off the inside of my skull...I love you, I love you, I love you. I realize now that I said it because I truly do love him, but admitting that to myself (let alone Spencer) complicates our non-relationship relationship even more than I thought possible. So, instead I shake my limbs and stand from the bed, shoving the memory of last night into a new bottle of emotions. “Spence?” I call out into the room, but there’s only silence on the other end. I walk in and out of the bathroom to no sign of the Doctor before I spot the hotel notepad on the side table. “Went in early to see if I could get some more files from the local PD, trying a new perspective. Didn’t want to wake you. -Dr. Spencer Reid”. I put down the cheap notepad and chuckle at his signature, even signing a note for his friend is formal and properly scripted...typical. I pull on my usual clothes for a long day of profiling and step out into the hotel hallway.

“Morning,” a voice chirps from behind me.

“Jesus! Luke!” I say startled and swat his chest. “Scared the shit out of me. You’re lucky I didn’t pull my gun on you.”

“Eh,” he pulls on the strap of his bag as we walk towards the elevators. “I would have been fine.”

“Oh your ego is that big that you think you’d survive a shot to the chest?”

“No no no, I didn’t say that,” he smiles as the elevator doors slide open. “I just know you’re an awful shot.”

“Oh fuck you,” I chuckle and slap his arm. He grins at me with a cocky look but doesn’t say anything else. The elevator glides downstairs and opens again in the lobby. The two of us climb into the BAU’s black SUV and head back to the local offices for the rest of our long day.

Once we arrive, I spot Spencer instantly as he sits cross legged on a wide wooden folding table. Files and folders are scattered across all parts of the floor as well as his lap as he stares ahead at the whiteboard in front of him. He glances down a few times, scanning over the pages he has, but turns his head in our direction as soon as Luke and I approach the room.

“After you,” Luke winks as he holds the door open for me. I roll my eyes at him but walk through the door into the glass-walled conference room. “What? No, thank you?”

“Nope,” I say as I sit down at the table, opening up my bag. “Not after you insulted me this morning.”

Spencer sits up straighter as if his body involuntarily responded to my words.

“(Y/n), I would never insult you,” Luke says as he takes the chair next to me. “I like you too much.”

Spencer clears his throat and keeps his eyes fixed straight ahead, but I know he’s listening.

“Besides,” Luke leans down to whisper in my ear. “It’s a lot more fun to mess with you.”

“I’m going to get a coffee, you guys want anything?” Spencer says abruptly and hops off the edge of the table, but he’s out the door before we can even answer.

“Morning to you too,” I comment as the door slams closed.

[Boy], I'm not with it I'm way too far gone

I'm not ready, eyes heavy now

“Spence?” I choke out as I watch him lean against the brick wall. His tie is mangled in his hands as his chest rises and falls quicker than normal. “Are you okay? I saw you run out, I-”

“I’m fine, (y/n).” He spits back at me.

“Are you sure?”

“I said I’m fine.”

“Alright, well if you’re fine, then I’ll leave you,”

“Do you like him?...Luke. Do you like Luke?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean- it seems like you do.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, you- you just were dancing and-”

“Oh my god. You’re jealous. Spencer, seriously?”

“I’m sorry that I can’t see you with other guys, it’s not fair for me to watch that. I can’t, (y/n).”

“Well...that’s not really my problem is it? You told me to, let’s see...how did you put it?” I glance up at the sky as if I’m trying to remember the exact words he used, but it’s all for show. I’ll never forget his words. They’re branded into me like a filthy scar on my heart. So I swallow my pride and turn the words right back at him, “ ‘Get over my feelings because we’re not together’? I believe that’s what you said.”

“(y/n), I-”

“Spencer, please just don’t say anything else. You’ve said enough. Just so we’re clear. None of this is fair, and I can dance with whoever I want.”

I step inside the bar yet again and practically sprint back to the group, desperately searching for the team. Luke spots me first and rushes towards me.

“Hey, hey,” he grabs both of my arms and squats down to get to my eyeline as I stare down at the floor. I try my best to push back the tears building up, but they’re becoming too much. “Are you okay?”

“I have to get out of here.”

“What did he say to you?” Luke gently asks.

“Nothing,” I mumble and wipe my eye with the back of my hand. “I just, I just need to go.”

“Okay,” he rubs my arms. “Let’s get you out of here.”

The next thing I know, I’m placed inside Luke’s car as he clips my seatbelt and I stare straight ahead, completely numb from everything. Tears continue to roll down my cheeks as Luke drives in silence. He coughs for a split second before turning to look at me, “I was going to drop you off at home, but I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“What do you mean like this?” I bite back and wipe my eyes with the edges of my fingers. “Shit, sorry Luke, I didn’t mean that.” I laugh and look at my mascara covered hands. “Obviously you meant like this,” I say gesturing towards my awful appearance. Luke chuckles lightly and glances over at me quickly before fixing his eyes back to the road.

“C’mon let’s go to my place first and then I’ll drop you off later.”

Normally I respond with some sarcastic comment and insist on going home, but honestly I’m too drained to even fight. So I nod slowly and stare out the window watching the passing cars.

Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now

I'm not ready, eyes heavy now

The elevator door chimes and opens itself into the BAU offices. We all step out of the elevator calling out goodbyes for the night. Spencer heads towards his desk, as I follow closely behind. Ever since Luke and I came into the local PD offices two days ago, he’s been different. Spencer stayed in his own room our last night at the hotel, claiming he “fell asleep reading” but I know he was lying. Quickly, I pack my things into my go bag and get ready to leave, my own bed calling my name. I glance around and spot my teammates scattered across the bullpen: Penelope back in her bat-cave, Luke’s got his head down in a stack of files, Tara and JJ headed directly out the door headed home, Emily climbing the stairs to her office with Rossi shortly behind.

I inch closer to Spencer’s desk casually and lean against it to whisper to him, “hey”

“Hi.” He responds, keeping his eyes down on the book in front of him. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the damn thing since we got on the plane. He was so enchanted by this book that he sat down opposite to me on the plane, rather than side-by-side. He just seems so….off. I can’t figure out what it is exactly, but he’s not the same. All our small gestures are gone—and I don’t want to overreact because it’s only been two days, but Spencer isn’t like this.

“Did you want to grab dinner? I’m starving,” I smile, trying my best to lighten the mood.

“Not hungry,” he coolly responds, with his head still down.

“Well, I am...so you—”

“So go get dinner, (y/n). Seems like a pretty simple answer.”

“I was waiting for you,” I say and he rolls his eyes, but doesn’t respond. I stand next to his desk awkwardly for a moment before Luke breaks my attention away. He shuffles all his things into his bag and slings it over his shoulder, “g’night guys.”

“Night, Luke,” I smile and he exits the office. Spencer releases a stifled groan and tries to cover it with a cough.

“What was that for?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at him. Spencer finally looks up from his book and shrugs. “Spencer, what?” I ask again and he frowns slightly, turning back down to his pages again. I shake my head at him and grab my bag from the edge of his desk and pull it over my shoulder.

“Goodnight, Spencer.” I say calmly and walk past his desk but he doesn’t respond, again. I can’t help myself and I actually chuckle at him, “seriously? You’re ignoring me now? What did I do? Did I do something?”

“Nope,” he sternly answers.

“Then why wont you talk to me?”

“We’re talking now,” he says, looking up from his desk. Our eyes meet and lock on one another. Neither of us break away from the stare as the tension rises between us.

“That’s not what I meant,” I whisper through gritted teeth. He shrugs again, his eyes unwavering from mine.

“Spencer, what the hell has gotten into you? You barely talked to me the rest of the case and on the jet. We usually talk after rough cases like this to check on each other.”

“Well I’m not your boyfriend, you made that abundantly clear, so I don't really need to keep tabs on you, do I?” Spencer snaps, standing up from his desk chair.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask, shaking my head.

“Nothing- I just, we can’t do this anymore,” he rubs his face with his hands and gathers his books off the desk. He walks away from his desk, leaving me standing there stunned. He leaves the bullpen and presses the door to the elevator. The doors slide open and he steps inside. Without a second thought, I run through the office and into the elevator just in time.

“(Y/n), please.” He sighs, while pressing the down button.

“Spencer, just talk to me—”

“(Y/n), we can’t do this anymore because I don’t have feelings for you.”

“What? No—” I shake my head in complete shock and denial. I feel tears forming in my eyes, but I push them away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

“We’re not on the same page….and I can’t control how you feel but, you need to get over your feelings because we’re not together. This doesn’t work between us, (y/n). Let it go,” Spencer says looking straight ahead as the doors slide open again and he exits through them.

All of your friends have been here for too long

They must be waiting for you to move on

[Boy], I'm not with it I'm way too far gone

I'm not ready, eyes heavy now

“Luke, I’m not telling you what he said!” I protest, sitting cross legged on his couch. I throw a piece of popcorn into my mouth and then toss another in Luke’s direction.

“C’mon (y/n),” he sighs, stretching out his legs across my lap on the couch. “You and I both know how stubborn I am. I’m not giving up, what did Reid say? Do I need to kick his ass?”

“You, Luke Alvez, are the worst,” I laugh at him. “But, I’ll tell you because...well I’m still a little drunk so what the hell.” I sigh and tell him about everything. The details and stories pour out of me as Luke rests his head on his palm watching me talk. He doesn’t say anything, just listens.

“So,” I take a deep breath. “Now you’re caught up. God….Penelope’s gonna kill me when she finds out you know about Reid and I before her.”

He smiles and sits up on the couch, “listen (y/n), I know he’s a textbook genius, but Reid is an idiot. If he doesn’t realize how perfect the two of you are together and how much he loves you then any statistic he knows is useless. You’re too good, for him to be acting like this.”

“Wow,” I grin at him and give him a playful shove. “Look who’s getting sentimental!”

“Alright, forget I said it!” Luke stands up from the couch, throwing his hands up in defeat.

“Morning sleepy head,” Luke says, passing me a premade smoothie.

“Shit,” I sit up from the couch and blink my eyes harshly. “I can’t believe I slept here. Sorry, I’m the worst-”

“Hey,” Luke cuts me off. “Stop doing that. You’re fine. I was going to offer you the bed anyway, but you passed out before the movie ended.”

“Thank you, I mean seriously. All jokes aside,” I stand from the couch. “I’m glad you were there.”

“Me too,” he smiles. “Look, I’m not kicking you out either, but do you need a ride home?”

“Shit,” I shake my head. “Penelope and Emily drove me. My keys are at the BAU.”

“So we’ll stop there first.” He grabs his keys off the entrance table.

“Seriously, Luke,” I reach out and hug him around the waist. “Thank you.”

“So you and Reid…” Luke turns into the BAU parking garage. I shush him and he laughs lightly. “Four months?”

“Four months.” I nod while giving a weak smile.

“And you loved him?” He asks quietly, as if not to scare me.

“Yeah,” I turn to look at him. “I thought I did, but I don’t- I don’t know anymore.” Luke nods again as he pulls into his assigned spot. I open the car door and step on the pavement. The garage is empty besides a few chief cars and our footsteps echo off the walls. It’s a Saturday morning and no one dares to come into the offices unless directly called to...even the FBI needs a weekend sometimes. We walk quietly together through the empty lot and into the section of the building where our offices are located. Luke and I scan our badges and follow the normal protocol just to get inside.

“You really didn’t have to come with me.” I say to Luke as we climb the stairs. “I do work here, I think I would have been okay.”

“And missed you hungover trying to walk up these stairs? No way,” he smirks and continues up the steps. The rest of the time we climb up the stairs I focus solely on trying my best not to think about how awful I feel — both mentally and physically. My head is spinning from the combination of last night's drinks and Spencer. Fuck, I miss him. Luke snaps me out of my own head when he opens the stairwell door, “You ever think you’re going to talk to him again?”

“I mean we work together-”

“No no,” he laughs. “I meant talk to him, yknow,” Luke raises his eyebrows suggestively with a smirk.

“Why do I tell you things?”

“Because you love me,” Luke sings as he opens the door to our bullpen and we walk through it. I turn back to him and shove his arms.

“Luke, if you don’t stop,” I say as we enter the BAU. I scan the empty desks looking for mine when my eyes rest on a slumped over figure on the desk...not just the desk, but Spencer’s desk. “Oh my god, Spence.”

Heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved

Running in circles, now look what you've done

Give you my word as you take it and run

“Oh my god Spence,” the words tumble out of my mouth before I even realize I’m talking. Spencer turns to face me as I begin talking and his eyes shift between Luke and I. Spencer takes a deep breath in and spins around again in his chair, his back facing us. I clear my throat and scan the room for my keys, and there they sit on the edge of my desk across from Spencer. I shake my head at him and Luke lends down, “you sure you’re gonna be okay?” I smile and give him a weak nod, and Luke responds, “I’ll leave you two.”

“Thanks for everything,” I whisper to him and Spencer’s shoulders tense. Luke leaves the office through the glass doors and silence settles between Spencer and I. I sigh gently and make my way across the room to my desk. Spencer keeps his head down in some files as I reach my desk and grab my keys.

“Walk of shame?” Spencer mumbles, still looking down.

“What did you just say?” I ask feeling the anger build in me.

“I mean,” he snickers. He turns a pen over between his fingers, moving the pen back and forth. “That’s what you’re doing right?”

“You’re ridiculous,” I huff and grab my keys from the table top. Don’t give in to him. I remind myself as I close my eyes and take a deep breath before headed towards the doors. “Have a nice weekend, Spencer.”

“You’re just going to ignore me?” Spencer spins in his chair.

“Easier than having this conversation,” I snap at him.

“So you’re just leaving?” He asks, standing up from the desk.

“No,” I retort. “That’s your job. I’m just going home.”

“Home? Or Luke’s home?” He tilts his head to the side and crosses his arms.

“Are you fucking kidding me…” I shake my head and step away from the doors, getting closer to him. “I didn’t sleep with Luke.” Spencer blinks slowly and swallows hard, but I continue, “and even if I did, why the hell does it matter? We’re not together, so who cares, right?” I practically laugh and cross my arms over my chest. Spencer leans back as if my words physically hit him in the chest. I turn around again, focused on the exit and getting the hell out of here.

“I do.”

“Yeah? And why do you care?” I yell, whipping around to face him.

Spencer runs his hands through his hair and screams, “Because I’m falling in love with you and I can’t stop it!”

Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now

I'm not ready, eyes heavy now

SPENCERS POV

Love is never what you picture it to be. It’s messy, unpredictable, and hurts like hell. “We accept the love we think we deserve,” Stephen Chbosky once said...and I wish I did not agree with it. The exact moment I realized I was in love with (y/n) took me by surprise, I didn’t even realize what it was at first. I just always believed I wasn’t deserving of love—and no matter where I found it, ultimately it would all be a taunt before I was stripped of it. I realized I loved her on a flight home from a case in Dallas. The unsub was a young male with psychological disorders who was regularly using different narcotics to subdue his victims. Everyone on the case was hyper-sensitive of my relation to the case—Emily even offered for me to stay back home, but against my better judgement I got on the plane. Eventually, the case came to a close fairly quickly (as most do), but not without constant questions and repeated: “you okay?”’s from the rest of my team. Of course I wasn’t okay. (Y/n) and I followed our same routine as we always have for cases; I sneak into her room or she sneaks into mine, we bring each other food and coffee, steal longing glances at one another during profiles. and are just there for the other person. She didn’t ask or pry into my past about my emotions, she just listens to what I have to say and nods along calmly. She even reaches for my leg and hand under the table during a deep discussion of dilaudid, but her eyes never strayed from her papers or whoever was talking. She didn’t want to draw attention to me, but also didn’t want me forgotten. She made me feel normal. Unbroken. Deserving of love. On the flight home she sat down next to me and didn’t ask the baseless question, “are you okay?” instead she just said: “I’m so proud of you.” My heart nearly fell out of my chest when she said it. I didn’t realize the effect she had or the gravity of her words until she said them. I love her. When we finally landed back home, I wanted nothing more than to go to bed holding her and tell her I’m going to protect her from the world and it’s cruel intentions. But I couldn’t. Everything I’ve loved always leaves me, and I can’t let it be real because real means vulnerable. The following days pass by as if in slow motion, but also at the speed of light. Each one not just building up my love for (y/n), but also the walls around my heart. It feels as though I blink and we’re back on the jet for another case. Blink. The team is meeting with the local PD. Blink. We’re in the field with a new victim. Blink. (Y/n) and I are back in our hotel room as she mumbles, “I love you.” Blink. I lose my mind and lose her at the same time. Blink. We’re no longer friends. Blink. She’s moved on and onto Luke. Blink. I’m screaming my confession of love at her as if we’re in a Shakespearon play. Blink.

Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now

I'm not ready, eyes heavy now

Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now

YOUR POV

“What did you just say?” I ask as my heart rate skyrockets. Spencer stays near his desk, his face showing he’s just as shocked as I am. His gigantic brain must be a complete mess right now. “Spencer, what did—”

“You know what I said,” he takes a deep breath in. “I love you.”

“But—” I choke out.

“I know. I know,” he rubs his face. “I know I told you I didn’t have feelings for you, but I lied.”

“How do I know you aren’t lying now because you’re jealous?” I ask, filled with rage. He shakes his head vigorously and steps closer to me, closing the gap between us. This is the closest he’s been to me in forever. I want to just reach out and melt into him, but I fight back the urge.

“I’m not lying,” he clasps his hands together. I raise my eyebrows and my eyes twitch. “I really do love you.” He reaches out to touch my arm and I step back. I can’t let him in again. At least not this easily. “(Y/n).” He croaks, his voice breaking.

“Do you think I’m that stupid? That I’ve just waited for you to come crawling back?” I ask, my tears stinging my eyes as they roll down my cheeks.

“No, no. Never, I- I never thought that. Ever,” Spencer rushes out.

“Then what is this?” I shake my head, “Because I feel so fucking stupid, Spencer. You left me. You told me you never felt the way I did, and I loved you-”

“I know you did,” he says smoothly. His words stun me, he knew? I step even further back, and I want to keep going and going until I’m out the door. “I heard you, that night in the hotel. When you told me you loved me.” Tears continue to move down my face as his words sink in.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, wiping my face. Spencer steps closer to me, but I don’t move back.

“Because I was scared!” Spencer cries out. “When you said it, I- I felt it of course I did, but I was terrified. When you said you loved me and I knew I loved you...it all became real. Too real,” he sighs. “Everyone that I love, everything I love leaves me. I didn’t want you to leave me.”

“But pushed me away, Spencer.” I shake my head as he steps even closer.

“I know, I screwed up. So badly, (y/n). I’m so sorry,” he reaches out to touch my arms and instead of turning around, I lean into his touch. “If I could go back to that night, I would pull you closer and tell you then, but I can’t. So, I’m telling you now. I love you.” Instead of answering him, I just collapse into his arms completely exhausted. The back and forth, the drinking, the bottling of emotions, the confusion, everything...it’s too much and everything explodes at once. Spencer’s arms wrap around me and holds me up from melting into the floor. He wraps his arms so tightly around my torso and cradles the back of my head with his hands. My hands wrap around him and pull him closer than ever, I take a deep breath in and truly take him in. He’s here. I can’t lose him again.

“(Y/n),” Spencer coos, rubbing my head. I’ve missed him more than anything I’ve ever known.

“I do love you,” I sob and feel Spencer’s heart literally skip a beat. “I always have.”

“You do?” He pulls me away from his chest to look into my eyes. “I didn’t mess this up entirely? I didn’t lose you?” I shake my head no and lift my hands up from his chest and onto the sides of his face. He looks down at me with the kindest eyes. My heart sings and I stand up on my toes, pressing my lips to his. Spencer’s mouth molds into mine perfectly as if we never let one another. His hands squeeze my sides gently and Spencer pulls away smiling. I stroke my thumb across his cheek, whipping away one of his tears.

“You could never lose me, Spencer.”

—

yay! this is finally up!! took me longer than I wanted, but school work got in the way :/ anyway, hope you enjoyed!

masterlist // requests

stay safe & wear a mask!! -m

tags: @rexorangecouny

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x female!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid writing #spencer reid angst #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid blurb #dr spencer reid #dr reid #criminal minds writing #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds angst #cm spencer

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chasethesun18 · 3 years

Note

A couple episodes ago, when we talked about Lia, I must admit it was the first time she irked me. A case involving Gordon and his family is the exact kind of case I'd love for Magnum and Higgins to get in on for the bonding it could give us. I really had little to no patience for Lia taking on the role, though I didn't necessarily disagree with her keeping Gordon('s very understandable anger) in check before he could do something that could hurt his career. Then I realized: any storyline involving Magnum and Higgins, the spotlight will be on them, whereas, for this episode, it needed to be on Gordon. Lia is practically a non-entity; she, as a supporting character, wouldn't overshadow Gordon. And if, at the same time, we got a tidbit of insight into her character? Two birds, one stone. Setting her up now as a straight-laced, by-the-book cop makes for good contrast if her upcoming secret involves matters that are, let's say, extralegal in nature. I'm theorizing that her outburst at Magnum was done for the same effect. Whether it worked or not in endearing her to the audience, ehhh...I let it go. Better things to focus on.

Which I'll get to in my next ask...let's go!

(2/2) I know I'm not the only one whose mind went to Hannah when Magnum tells the groom to grieve for the woman he thought he knew (paraphrasing here). Though, I couldn't help myself from hoping it's foreshadowing the end for Magnum and Lia, considering we know she has some secret that's yet to be revealed. The Miggy shipper in me wants the show to extract whatever narrative value it is looking for in Lia and be done with her, all as quickly as possible. The afterthoughts I had kinda nixed the idea. For one, our boy deserves better than to be retraumatized by love again. Two, secrets are a heavy theme this season. So, naturally, Higgins has one. And if hers has the potential to bring them closer together, it's way too soon for me to assume that Lia's won't also do the same. This one is me trying my level best to temper my expectations. I don't want to get mired in timelines before I become disappointed in what the writers have in store. Ngl, that's what I felt when Ethan stuck around after the season 3 finale. But...not only did he do his job in making Magnum feel envious and wistful- to my shock, he also got Higgins to compare her feelings for him to her ever-expanding love for Magnum in a roundabout way. So hey, bygones for his runtime. I'm hoping Lia can do the same. Rather than break his trust and his heart, I hope the relationship naturally falls apart while simultaneously proving Higgins as The One. I know the overall objective is Miggy; I'm not worried. Only a matter of when and how. And to those inquiries, I'm not going to drive myself crazy trying to speculate. I give you permission to pull out this receipt if you ever do see me going nuts someday.

to save the scrollers lol:

sometimes yall tell me stuff and i really do be feeling like a casual fan because i did not know lia is gonna have a secret but im here for it. definitely agree though, that scene rubbed me the wrong way for sure.

yes, 100% agree. similar to what i said with higgins and ethan, i don't want either of them being hurt by love again. i thought they both needed a relationship after the painful one, which for magnum should've been abby. i guess they had to cut that short because of the actress leaving so they needed to bring another in to do the whole story?

definitely don't drive yourself crazy! just enjoy it as it comes. personally, they are one of my easiest ships so im pretty much down for whatever, as long as they dont go backwards. i was expecting a little more this week, so that was a tad disappointing, but overall show wise im much happier with it this season than last

#wonder what lias secret will be tho #hopefully higgins tells him hers before lia does so they cant get compared in that way #asks #otp-armada

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silver-wield · 4 years

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Can you do an analysis on Cloud and Tifa’s body language during that scene when they’re in Cloud’s room and he’s slyly referring to his promise to Tifa? There was crazy sexual tension in that scene and it honestly looked like Cloud was subtly being flirty with her 😭

No probs, Nonny! I actually already touched on their body language in a reply to a gif set of this bit, so we'll just expand on that ^=^

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I've had other ideas since then)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis

Cloti reunion analysis

The Promise Analysis

Andrea's approval (Cloti ask response)

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read)

Cloti action touching

Aerti friendship analysis

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Keep reading

Recap time! Yall know the drill by now if you've read my other ramblings.

Chapter 3, where we get a room (lol), do some jobs and have a chat with Tifa. It's pretty basic stuff until the cut scene after Marle gives Cloud a talking to. She's the overprotective grandmother figure that Tifa needs in her life and she wants to make sure Cloud isn't messing with her. Now, why would she think that? Well, maybe she picked up some hints when Tifa mentioned Cloud to her about wanting a place to stay? Marle's pretty sharp, after all, and if she got the impression Tifa is carrying a torch, she'd definitely make sure Cloud's not about to blow it out. She tells him to pay attention to her, to listen. This is the very first instance of Cloud taking in that kind of info and it changes how he treats others for the rest of the game.

After the chapter 4 mission where Cloud reflects on his promise to Tifa, it's back to the slums for some rest. Then Tifa knocks on his door and enters. She mentions Cloud was gone for a while, and he answers he was walking so that he keeps Jessie's secret – because he's that kind of guy.

Small talking Tifa is cute, but lol, Cloud seems to have purposely forgotten Johnny since he's yet another admirer of Tifa. For a guy who doesn't forget info like morons who could cause them trouble in the long run, it's pretty telling how quickly he is to dismiss Johnny.

Onto something more interesting in this pic, though. Cloud is sitting on the bed. Now, if he wasn't comfortable around Tifa he'd have got up. His eyeline is lower than hers so he has to look up at her. This puts her in a position of dominance over him – also not surprising since his mentality is that of a 16yr old around her and she's the adult in the relationship. Tifa for her part has her body turned to the side in a non-confrontational pose.

Tifa has her hands clasped in front of herself (couple of seconds before this screen) which indicates she's trying to protect herself as she asks the question if Cloud is leaving Midgar. Not surprising since she's afraid of losing people she cares about and even just someone heading off somewhere else would upset her, though she'd try not to show it.

Cloud, for his part, looks away, appearing as though he's thinking it over, but we're already aware he's decided to stay and help Tifa out, so this is a fake out on his part. He's half-teasing, half trying to get a positive response from her (remember the water tower? Yeah, this is that Cloud. The dork. The one who is useless at talking to girls).

I'm sorry, but Cloud is such a cheeky bastard I just can't with him! This is giving me all the throwbacks to his behaviour at the water tower and I love that it mirrors that moment, but with more success on his part this time. He's looking all around trying not to give himself away before it's needed. He's smiling and looks relaxed. He might be sitting but he definitely believes he has the upper hand between them at this point. Remember, I've said before that eye contact is important. Well, in this case, Cloud's deliberate refusal to make eye contact shows he's teasing. This is such a cute moment between them!

Oh ho! But here's where his teasing ends. Cloud is being completely serious and obviously took the promise between them as being special. Ducking his head out of sight completely prevents us from seeing his expression and allows him to act in a casual way about something that's such an important part of who he became. But, he's not quite pulling it off because he's also looking quite defensive in this pose. His hands are clasped in front of him and he's leaning forward, looking at the floor. This is something very meaningful for him to talk about and he's hoping Tifa doesn't brush it off, so if he doesn't look at her he won't have to see her reaction.

Tifa's obviously got her own interpretation of how that promise went. We can guess she did it because she just wanted a guarantee she'd see Cloud again some day from how she acted during the water tower cut scene. Here, she's leaning back on her hands which leaves her body language open, but also conceals something. She's looking down, the same way Cloud did. She's also hiding her true feelings towards Cloud the same way he's hiding from her, but she's being as honest as she can be as the same time. I've seen people call Tifa a liar because of how she doesn't address Cloud's memory problems in OG, but when you really take a close look at her, lying just isn't her. This is a complex moment between them. They've not long met again and they're having this heavy conversation. The feelings between them are still there, but there's all this other stuff that's more important. But, they know they're friends, and that's a good place to start getting to know each other again, and Cloud choosing to stay is that first step, with the quick follow up of him reminding her of their shared history.

Cloud, you smooth bastard I love you for this! This is definitely flirting! He's looking directly at her, then dips his head to the side in an inviting gesture. His eyes soften and he gets this tiny smile on his face. His body language has changed, too. He's sitting up and back slightly with both arms by his sides. There's no more defensiveness about him. He wants to listen to her. Cloud is choosing to ask for Tifa's confidence. He's letting her know she can rely on him. That he's interested.

For her part, Tifa's pleased, but surprised. She's not long got back in touch with Cloud and, while he's been a decent guy, she's had the overall impression he isn't the same as the soft boi she knew, so this is a revelation for her. The Cloud she knew is still within this Cloud – which anyone who knows the real!Cloud SOLDIER!Cloud storyline is exactly the point of this moment. Tifa knows his true self. The true self that comes out only when he's with her.

Cloud, bro, I'm gonna combust from all these flirty gestures! Fully open body language, a smile, teasing tone. Goddamnit, just say you love her already! Yes, please, invite Tifa to check you out. Remember, he's still sitting. He's so relaxed and natural around her. Even if all you saw was two friends and no ship, you'd be insane to think he isn't a different person in this scene. He's not SOLDIER Cloud here.

Tifa, for her part, isn't flirting here. She likes Cloud, that's clear, and her body language is reaching towards him, which suggests she has feelings towards him, but her tone is more playful and her expression is pleased. She's happy to see her friend isn't too different from the one she knows. Most of the flirting in this scene is on Cloud's side, which makes sense when you think of the torch he's been carrying for her. He's trying to get her attention, same way he did when they were kids. Tifa's oblivious but receptive because she likes him back, but she won't show it as much because she thinks he's not interested. Someone knock their heads together please lol

OMG FUCKING HELL CLOUD JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER! Leaning back on the bed, totally vulnerable body language, drawing attention to the bod in an attempt to spark her interest – since he's clearly interpreted this line from Tifa as a rejection – this boi is trying so hard! He even looks a little disappointed she's not more impressed with SOLDIER Cloud, but we knew she preferred the dork anyway lol

Now, I know everyone talks about the physical and emotional distance between them here, which is obvious, but what I'm gonna point out is after feeling like SOLDER Cloud has been rejected by Tifa – thanks to her preference for the real deal – Cloud looks away from her. She's brushed him off and he's hiding his upset by not meeting her eyes.

Tifa is still oblivious to this, but Cloud definitely has a look of disappointment on his face.

Now, after that last bit you'd think Cloud would assume he's got no chance, but then Tifa says how glad she is to have him back and that cheers him up. He's still in that mindset of a 16yr old with a crush, whereas Tifa's moved on. She's had 5 years apart from him (she thinks it's 7, I know, but he saw her in Nibelheim and how she'd matured a little). She's not thinking of him in an openly romantic sense, whereas Cloud is definitely still deep in his feelings for her. Hearing she's happy to see him hints to him that he might still have a chance with her if they spend more time together. His soft af goodnight is the last indicator of his strong feelings for her. His body language is open once more, he's staring after her with a longing look and a smile and doesn't look away until the door closes.

Conclusion

JUST GET FUCKING MARRIED ALREADY IT'S BEEN 23 YEARS!

Lol seriously though, Cloud is definitely still deep in the throes of his childhood crush. Tifa could resurrect hers with time because it's clear she does still harbour feelings for him, but she's not the type to be pushy or insistent. She'll let Cloud take the lead and offer subtle hints how she feels, hoping he feels the same. She doesn't pick up on Cloud's subtle flirting compared to those more in your face things he tried earlier. Through all of those interactions with her he's definitely trying to say that he likes her and he'd like her to accept his feelings, but the bigger gestures get the brush off, although she blushes and looks shy, and the smaller ones go over her head.

Unfortunately, these two are oblivious af and it's gonna take everyone's help to get them together.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #cloti #cloud strife #tifa lockheart #seriously #just kiss already

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golbrocklovely · 5 years

Text

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter sixteen: i keep telling myself i’m not the desperate type

A/N: sorry this chapter is a bit late. hope you enjoy it nonetheless. please let m know what you think of the story so far. also, i wanted to let you know that i will be posting some request throughout the week. alrighty, enjoy this chapter! see yall later :)

description of the story

taglist: @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose , @far-to-many-bands , @absolute-randomness-forever

trigger warning: cursing, heartbreak, light smut

word count: 2340

~~~~~~~~~~

DAY 7/14

I lounged around the house for most of the day up until my date with Colby. I showered and got into comfy clothing, since literally all we were going to be doing was sitting around, eating, and cuddling anyway. I fluffed up my pillows and blankets as I cleaned my room quickly. I went to get some snacks and drinks from the kitchen when I saw Casey’s bedroom door opened.

I walked in and flicked the lights on, Casey no where to be seen. I cocked my head to the side as I texted her.

Skye: where did you leave to ???

As I pulled out the snacks, I felt my phone vibrate.

Casey: as if you’re the only one who can get a date

I smirked and rolled my eyes. As I headed back to my room, I heard a knock at the front door. I placed my items down and opened it, coming face-to-face with Colby.

“Hi.” I smiled.

“Hey.” He beamed.

“Come on in. The pizza will be here soon. I hope you don’t mind, but I got stuffed-crust pizza.” I stated, moving to the side and letting him in.

He gasped. “I love stuffed-crust.”

I shut the door and nodded my head softly. “This is why I agreed to go on a date with you.”

He smirked. “It wasn’t for my good looks and charming personality?”

“I mean, that’s cool too, I guess.” I joked, walking over to grab the snacks and drinks again.

Right before I could, Colby slid his hands onto my hips and spun me around to face him. He leaned in quickly and kissed me. I melted into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled away slowly, leaving me breathless.

“I needed to do that.” He whispered.

“…I’m glad you did.” I giggled.

He rubbed his nose against mine, smiling softly. Sneakily, he grabbed the snacks from behind me and pulled away from me, going to my room.

I sighed happily and took the drinks, following him in.

“So, what type of movie should we start with? Horror or comedy?” He asked, smiling brightly as he got comfortable in my bed.

“Horror.” I decided, cuddling up next him.

/ / / /

It had been a solid two hours, filled with snacks, multiple pizza slices, bathroom breaks, and me burying my face into Colby’s neck, cuddling as close to him as I could during the scariest parts of the horror movie.

As the credits started to roll, I groaned. “Am I a dumbass for agreeing to watch a horror movie even though I hate horror movies?”

Colby shook his head, wrapping his arms around me tighter. “Of course not. You’re brave.”

I laughed. “Yeah. I’m so brave for having to cuddle with you the whole time and hide anytime something scary happened.”

“Well, I didn’t mind the cuddles.” He smiled cheekily down at me.

I rolled my eyes, slowly pulling away from him. “That was so cheesy, oh my God.”

“No, no. You don’t get to leave. Stay here with me and all the cheesiness.” He pulled me into him again, throwing his leg over top of me.

I giggled and tried to crawl away, but he rested his body weight on top of me. He chuckled into my neck as I turned around to face him, my back laying on the bed.

“Get off me. You’re heavy.” I scrunched my face, wiggling underneath him.

He gasped. “That’s mean. Now I’m definitely not moving.”

I huffed, accepting it. I stared up at him, as he looked down at me. He slid one hand up and moved a piece of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. I softly smiled at the gesture as he cupped my cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked quietly, his voice low and sweet.

I nodded. “You don’t have to ask.”

Colby shrugged bashfully and leaned down, gently placing his lips onto mine. They were soft and warm, making my lips tingle with every little touch. His hand drifted down to rest on my lower back, causing me to arch into him. A light moan escaped his lips.

I pulled him closer, my hands resting on his neck and in his hair. I opened my legs, allowing Colby to get even closer to me. My right leg lightly wrapped around his hip. I could feel his whole body press into mine. A heat rose throughout me, causing a light shiver to roll up my spine.

His lips eased down to my neck, leaving delicate kisses. He started to nibble and suck on a spot under my jaw. I could feel his tongue lap at my neck, goosebumps rising as he breathed against me. I shuddered and moaned quietly, keeping my lips pressed together.

“You don’t have to be quiet for me, baby.” He grunted into my ear.

My breath hitched in my throat as he began to attack my neck again. My fingers gripped his shoulders, my nails digging in. His teeth grazed my jaw in light retaliation.

Two can play at this game…

I slowly whined my hips into his, my lower half moving in a circle. He rested for a moment, just feeling me torture him for a few seconds. I could feel his body tense, and then he began to roll his hips into mine. I pulled his mouth back onto my lips, needing to taste him again. His hands now rested on the inside of my shirt, electricity running up the sides of my body. His right hand slid higher until his fingertips reached the underside of my bra. As his hand went to cup my breast, the front door slammed shut.

“Fuck you and get out Brennen!” I heard Casey yell.

Colby lifted his head up towards the noise, sighing deeply as Brennen and Casey continued to argue. He rolled off me and I walked out of my room, fixing my clothes along the way.

“I’m so tired of your shit, Casey! Why won’t you just admit you like me?” Brennen loudly asked.

Casey groaned. “Maybe I don’t like you Brennen! You ever thought of that?!”

“If that’s the case, why the fuck did you go on a date with me?” Brennen questioned.

I jumped in. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. What’s the problem?”

“Brennen has been an ass to me all night and I just want him gone.” Casey stated, pointing at Brennen.

“How have I been an ass to you? I took you out on a nice date and everything has been going fine. It wasn’t until I told you I liked you that all of a sudden you started to flip your shit at me.” He argued.

“I don’t have feelings for you.” She stammered, her voice shaking.

His voice lowered, his tone sweeter this time. “I know you do. You just don’t want to admit it…”

“Get the fuck out of here! Do NOT tell me how I feel or what I should do!” She screamed.

“Fine! If you want me gone, so be it.” He huffed, rolling his eyes harshly.

Colby came out of my room just as Brennen slammed the front door shut. I exhaled, turning to him. “Hey, can you go make sure he’s okay?”

Colby nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” I turned back to Casey, who sat at our kitchen table, her leg bouncing and her arms crossed. "What did he do to make you that upset?"

“I told Brennen the night we hooked up that I didn’t want anything serious. I just wanted a hook up and I was down to do it again with him, but nothing more. When he asked me out on the date, I thought he was just being nice and it was just gonna end with us having sex again anyway. Now he’s telling me he has feelings for me and that I won’t admit mine to him.” She complained.

I pursed my lips. “Is he lying?”

“Of course he is! I don’t like him! All I wanted was sex.” Casey stated.

I paused. “I hate to be the one to ask this… but does this have anything to do with Al-“

“Don’t even say his name.” She angrily muttered.

Oh, Alex… what an asshole.

Alex Kensington was a boy that went to our college. He was nice, a bit of a frat boy, but an overall good guy. He played lacrosse, had decent grades, and majored in business finance. He was beautiful: the softest brown eyes I’d ever seen, a gorgeous smile, and short curly golden locks. One of his best friends was a dancer, which is how he met Casey in the first place. They started dating the moment they met each other. They seemed perfect together.

But of course, I wouldn’t be calling him an asshole if everything was actually perfect.

He had a bit of a jealous side. A lot of the dancers Casey hung out with were boys. He would get upset sometimes that she would be hanging out with them a lot more than him. At first it wasn’t too bad, just a comment or two every so often. But it got worse and worse. Soon, he didn’t want her having any guy friends at all. And because she loved him, she did what he asked.

It wasn’t just her friends he controlled though: it was what she wore, what she posted, what she ate, and even what she was allowed to talk about. He controlled everything about her. She became isolated, only having him in her life. A year into their relationship, she and I became friends because of the musical we were both in. She was hesitant to be my friend, but soon we became inseparable.

He didn’t like me, not that that mattered to me.

I didn’t know how controlling he was until one night she came to my dorm, crying her eyes out. They were at a party and one of her old guy friends came up to her. She tried not to talk to him, but she didn’t want to be rude. Alex saw them talking, and it apparently “hurt his feelings so much”, he decided to cheat on her right then and there. He wanted to teach her a lesson.

That night, she stayed at my place and told me everything about him. That morning, she broke up with him.

The moment they broke up, I saw how much happier she was without him. She began to live her life the way she wanted to again, which was great.

But one thing to note about Casey is that she is petty.

She began to be everything Alex didn’t want her to be, which at first wasn’t bad. She showed her body off more, she became friends with every guy she could, she said what she wanted, and did what she wanted. And then… she started to have sex with any guy she wanted to.

She hasn’t had a serious relationship since Alex. She hooks up with guys and never calls them again. She doesn’t like commitment and thinks it’s a joke. She doesn’t want a boyfriend at all, or any guy for that matter, who’s gonna tell her what to do.

But I know her. She likes commitment. She just scared to be hurt again.

There have been many drunken nights she’s admitted to me, but in the morning, she’ll say it was a joke.

The front door opening again brought me out of my thoughts. I spun around to see Colby coming back in, walking over to me.

He lightly pulled me to the side. “Hey… is it okay if I head out? Brennen is kinda in a bad place and needs to talk. He also kinda wants to get drunk.”

I smiled lightly. “Yeah, go be with your friend. I have to do some damage control here anyway. Besides, we can always have another date.”

“Maybe one not at your place.” He joked.

I giggled and nodded my head. He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing me quickly. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye Colby.” I mumbled, pulling away from him.

“Bye Skye.” He winked, turning around and leaving quickly.

I watched him leave and then turned back to Casey. She was now in the kitchen, pouring a glass of wine. I cocked my eyebrow at her.

“What? Brennen’s allowed to get drunk but I can’t.” She hissed.

I flung my hands up. “I said nothing.”

“Yeah, but your face did.” She jeered.

“Be honest with me Casey. Do you like Brennen?” I asked, leaning against the fridge.

“No.”

“Is that a no to the honesty or a no to Brennen?”

“You decide.” She smirked.

“I know you don’t want to hear this…” I explained.

She took a long swig from her glass. “Then don’t say it.”

“Brennen’s a good guy. Does he have faults, of course. What guy doesn’t? But you need to realize he is not Alex.”

She stayed quiet, just sipping her wine and staring at the floor. A blank expression sat on her face. I sighed, stepping out of the kitchen.

“I just don’t want to get hurt again.” I heard her whisper.

I felt my heart shatter, the sadness in her voice made me run back into the kitchen, wrapping my arms around Casey and embracing her tightly.

Her tears splashed onto my neck as I pulled her closer.

“I can’t promise he won’t hurt you, but you gotta start letting people in, especially guys you like.” I stated into her hair.

She pushed away from me for a second. She looked up at me, taking a deep breath. “He’s not Alex, is he.”

I shook my head. She leaned back against the counter. “Did I just ruin what I could have had?”

“I don’t think you did. Give Brennen tonight, and then call him in the morning. Maybe have a heart-to-heart with him.” I suggested.

She nodded softly, sniffling. “So… how was your date?”

<< CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 17 >>

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