#overall this year was a big success i'd say which is nice because at the beginning i was really struggling and unhappy with writing

[allsassnoclass]

2022 Writing Evaluation

I was tagged by the wonderful Bella @clumsyclifford (thank you for digging this up and tagging me first because i 100% was going to do it anyway lol)

also my pseudonyms are combined on ao3 so although this is my 5sos blog you will be hearing about my other fandom writing as well

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 17!

2. word count posted for this year: 124,269 on ao3, 23,433 for ask box prompts, so a grand total of 147,702!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, 1d, It (2017 and 2019 movies), Stranger Things, HSMTMTS, Cobra Kai

4. pairings: on ao3 we have some nice crisp muke, lashton, mashton, mashton (friendship version), cashton, cake, malum, narry, lilo (and then also kiaz and caswen (friendship(?) version) and reddie and hellcheer).  adding in the ask box prompts and we also have 5sos ot4, roylum, and lashton (friendship version)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: for all of those it’s technically my hellcheer fic, but for the 5sos ones hits and kudos are The Catch, comment threads is pas de deux! 

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): pas de deux hands down no question.  it’s my longest fic by over 20k!  i wrote it almost constantly from november to december and had a goal to post each chapter on christmas and the four sundays leading up to it and i actually accomplished that goal!!!! i’ve never successfully focused on one particular fic for that long, and it actually worked!!! plus, for such a long fic, i think i did a relatively good job of keeping characterizations consistent and sensical throughout, as well as finding little themes to carry through the entire fic (which i got lucky with tbh, some things that became running pieces of the fic were not planned out before, i just caught them as they were happening).  i haven’t read the fic back since completing it so it’s possible it’s not as cohesive or as good as i think it is, but i’m extremely proud of myself for it nonetheless.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): right now, it’s probably when i watch the world burn.  i struggled with that one and in the end i don’t think it quite got to where i wanted it to, but i was on a time crunch.  it’s a lot different from what i usually write, but i don’t know if i made that transition to a different story style and topic as smoothly as i would have liked.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: someone left a very long and gratifying comment on both Puzzle Pieces and its sequel Bedroom Activities back in February.  grey114 if you see this i love you.  it was really gratifying to get a comment on a piece that i love so much that was over a year old at that point, especially since they said it was a reread and they just touched on a lot of things in a really sweet way and that made me feel very happy to have written those fics.

also i know this doesn’t technically count because it got it today but amanda read when i watch the world burn (again, not my proudest work) and said that although this “isn’t her kind of fic” she said that that particular fic is the “biggest proof that it’s the writer more than the content or pairing” because she enjoyed it, which was really nice to hear especially when i’m not feeling the best about it.  it’s also just an insane compliment because i absolutely love amanda’s writing, and every time a writer i love also confirms that they really like my stuff it makes me feel good lol

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: the entire first 3/4 of the year, tbh!  i was in a big writing slump earlier in the year and it seemed to keep going forever, then I was super busy in the summer and simply didn’t have time.  i don’t think i hit my writing stride again until i let myself impulse-write for other fandoms.  i think that’s what i really started to realize exactly what it means to write what you love uninhibited, rather than writing what you think you should.  like. i have 10k of an angsty caswen at college fic in my drive that may never see the light of day because it’d be super long, but letting myself go to town on that with no expectations of necessarily posting it or even completing it was really healthy for me and extremely enjoyable, and it loosened all the writing mechanisms in my brain to get me back in a writing groove.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: hmmmmm let’s see.  honestly i was most surprised to write anything for hsmtmts or cobra kai, let alone something from johnny’s pov, but for 5sos stuff i was surprised to write so much feldy.  he became a pretty big player in pas de deux and when initially planning that fic i don’t think i realized how much screen time he would have.  ashton’s characterization in when i watch the world burn was also surprising.  i didn’t know when i started writing that he would be like that.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:  here’s a little bit of the ending of undeniable you

When Ashton fully wakes up, he can hear spring rain pattering against the roof.  The room is still blanketed in gray, but Michael is still glowing, even if Ashton only has a view of his bedhead from the way they’re cuddled together.  He shifts right before Ashton musters up the willpower to leave the comforting warmth of their bedroom and begin breakfast, as if he can sense that Ashton would rather spend the morning talking with him in appropriately hushed tones than leaving the cozy atmosphere that surrounds them.  His eyes are fuzzy and sleepy when he blinks up at him, but he smiles like he’s never been more sure of his place here.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? i finally truly understood what it means to write for myself!!!! to write for the enjoyment of writing!!!! to stop holding myself to arbitrary standards of what fics i should be working on and how often!!!!!! this year i really let myself work on what i want when i want, and it really did wonders for me.  also, i discovered that for the most part outlining does genuinely help me

13. how do you hope to grow next year? mostly i want to continue to write what i want to write.  i want to maintain this peace and enjoyment of writing that i’ve found and continue to treat myself with kindness when it comes to this hobby and not let it become unpleasant.  that being said, i do also want to focus on individual projects more.  i think the key to ensuring these two things aren’t mutually exclusive is to find projects that i genuinely love and to add little bits in there for me to enjoy, like all of the minnesota references (and the csi miami reference) in pas de deux.

EDIT: I also want to start replying to comments this year! i might not reply to new comments on old fics just because i’d feel weird not replying to the comments before (and i have fics form 2016, so i feel like it’d be weird if i went back and replied to those) but i’ll at least reply to comments put on pas de deux onwards.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? okay i’m going to list four (4!!!) different people.  bella @clumsyclifford and annie @carouselstars have both been extremely supportive, especially while i’ve been complaining in the club nearly every day for the past two months.  they’re always encouraging me.  i also need to give a big shout out to megs @igarbagecannoteven and gregory @doomeddiabetic for being great sounding boards! pas de deux would not have been completed without megs helping me sort things out in the very beginning, and gregory is willing to talk shop about fandoms they’re not even part of.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? little things here and there!  it’s most prevalent in pas de deux, where i highkey projected onto both characters and forced them to exist in minneapolis.  i have been to mia and love all of the art pieces i mentioned in chapter 3. my favorite ballet is dances at a gathering.  i, like calum, must always remind people of famous minnesotans.  shayla is my favorite newscaster.  i watch csi miami and ncis when i need something mindless on in the background.  i namedropped my old tech director and ballet teacher in that one.  pas de deux is full of little hazel pieces lol

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? find what pleases you!  find what you enjoy, and don’t turn writing into a chore that you have to do, but rather a special treat to enjoy!  this doesn’t mean that it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, of course.  maybe you’re the type of writer who gets immense satisfaction from finishing a difficult piece, and that far outweighs the frustration and struggles to write it!  everyone is going to be different with figuring out what constitutes enjoyment, but that’s what helped me, at least.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself but i really hope to finish three particular 5sos fics.  i think they could become my new favorites.  i also have a cobra kai fic that i’d love to write!  also, i really want to post at least one chapter of unmute, given that i didn’t do that this year

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:  @igarbagecannoteven, @carouselstars, @lifewasradical, @jbhmalumm, @lukemichaelcalumashton, @babush-cat if you’d like!

[lepoppeta]

Favorite Elite Four members of each region, GO GO GO

Buckle up, buttercup.

KANTO - LORELEI. I have a Pokemon Adventures manga from my elementary school years that showcases several stories from the Yellow arc. At one point, Yellow gets chased and later cornered by Lorelai of the Kanto Elite Four (who are, in fact, all villains in the Adventures manga, hell bent on killing humans who caused the suffering of Pokemon). Villain or not, Lorelai is memorable in both aesthetic and personality; I like her sexy businesswoman vibe, and "Lorelai" is just such a pretty name. Ice is also one of my favourite types, even if it is a touch frail.

(Runner up - Lance, but he doesn't really count so much anymore because he becomes Champion in the sequel Johto games).

JOHTO - KAREN. I'm not sure what GameFreak were going for with Karen's design, because she sure doesn't look like a Dark-type trainer, but I like her regardless. She's got the all-famous quote:

"Strong Pokemon, weak Pokemon. That is only the selfish perception of people. Truly skilled trainers should try to win with their favourites."

... which I think really encompasses what Pokemon as a game is at least supposed to be (it was only successful in executing this I think in the most recent two or arguably three generations). Her Destiny Bond-Gengar is also a staple.

(Runner up - Will)

HOENN - GLACIA. When I was 9 and first taking on the Hoenn League in Emerald, I'm pretty sure Glacia gave me the most trouble due to her Hail strategies and also because her bulky Walrein was impossible for little old underleveled me to one-shot. Her outfit and overall vibe reminds me of an opera singer somewhat and I really like that. Also - more Ice types!

(Runner up - Sydney)

SINNOH - LUCIAN. I've always found Lucian to be much harder to beat than Cynthia, mostly due to his Bronzong and the fact that it's really hard to overlevel in the Sinnoh games (the later level jumps, especially in DP and BDSP, are kind of insane). I'm a big fan of calm, collected boss-types and Lucian definitely fits that bill.

(Runner Up - Aaron)

UNOVA - GRIMSLEY. I love Grimsley's energy so much; this lazy, aristocratic vibe he clings to. It's such a shame that he's got such an intense and detrimental gambling addiction (or at least he does until SM was released, I assume at that point he's in rehab) and what seems to be some sort of reliance on chance (maybe a sprinkling of OCD) but it's also what makes him so interesting. He was definitely the most intriguing of the Unova E4 for me.

(Runner up - Shauntal)

KALOS - DRASNA. I must say that I don't find the Kalos E4 to be particularly memorable as individuals (although the environment and build-up to fighting them is spot-on), so this was a little tough, but I'd have to ultimately pick Drasna as a favourite. She's just so nice to you! It's also nice to get another female Dragon specialist, and she's a heck of a lot more enjoyable than Claire ever was.

(Runner up - Wikstrom)

ALOLA - KAHILI. This one's a little weird because, at least to me, Kahili is the only member of the Alolan E4 (except for perhaps Molayne); all of the others (Hala, Olivia, Acerola) in my mind are temporary since this is the first League match.

Kahili is interesting in many ways; she's obviously a very serious person, she's a professional golfer (which I believe is a first for Pokemon), and she's the first Flying E4 specialist we ever got.

(Runner up - Molayne)

PALDEA - HASSEL. The man, the myth, the legend. There's no way I could complete this list without mentioned our dearly beloved bow-legged Dragon master. It helps that SV fleshes out pretty much every important adult NPC in the entire game, and it also helps that Hassel is one half of a whole ship that both I and @roxycake adore immensely. His history is out in the open for you to discover and yet still shrouded in a healthy layer of mystery. I wonder if anything new will be discovered when the DLC comes out later this year.

(Runner up - Rika)

[anosci]

Media Thread

im making a list of media ive watched/played/etc this year with brief thoughts. its going to be far less featured than my music list, but still a bit long. again mirroring twitter except this time because fuck twitter.

list below the cut

～January～

1/ Princes Arete (2001) I was sold on this movie under the premise that it's similar to Kino no Tabi. and… it is. kinda. Kino and Arete would be cool pals. Every character is interesting, which seems rare(?) Only real drawback: the hostage situation kinda really sucked.

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2/ Time of EVE (2008/9) the classic tale: androids indistinguishable from humans as an allegory for racism. but unlike DBH, this is actually really good. its a story that feels like a single thread in a vast tapestry that'd be fascinating to explore, but too bad: you only have 6 eps

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3/ Spice & Wolf (2008) i remember loving this show. i don't remember understanding the economics. I took notes this time. I still struggled. (spoilers for ep3) regardless: wow this is a good show. weirdly, I saw myself in the relationship portrayals. I guess that means its realistic?

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～February～

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4/ Spice & Wolf II (2009) i feel like this kinda fell off? :( like it tried too hard to be action-packed. and that worked sometimes. but that first arc was just… :( it feels like a case of "just needs an editing pass. needs a bit more focus" i'll treasure S1 more, after all

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5/ Double Fine PsychOdyssey (2023) absurdly captivating. i say that it's a miracle that any video game gets made ever. this shows that Psychonauts 2 was several miracles in succession. it's simultaneously illusion-shattering and inspiring.

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6/ The Owl House S1 (2020) finally sat down to watch this. it's GOOD. lots of worldbuilding to chew on, and then it picked up quite nicely. im immediately pouncing on S2 and feeling glad i was late enough to be able to marathon

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～March～

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7/ The Owl House S2 (2022) stumbling down the boulderest mountain and hitting every rock on the way down. the rocks represent engagement. i am engaged. i adore this show. it is a little weird to suddenly freeze mid-tumble.

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8/ Broken Age (2014) (Dr. Mick's LP) delightful start! brilliant, even! then the big bad is revealed and…. meh. I watched Dr. Mick's playthru tho, and holy shit that's some really cool commentary.

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9/ Double Fine Adventure! (2015) its a little unfortunate that the nature of gamedev means that the ending is kinda anticlimatic but good lord what an amazing journey. i'd watch a million of these.

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10/ Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) ok ok fine ill [finally] watch it …oh its good. like really good. its rly funny but in a way that fascinatingly beside the point? yeah I can see why some ppl didnt like this but i think its super fun

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11/ Nichijou (2011) a nice and cute slice of life thing… that occasionally breaks out some quality jokes. though only half of them landed for me. i feel like i would've gotten more out of this if I caught it at the time.

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～April～

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12/ The Owl House S3 (2023) i had a lot of reservations about the collector initially but having seen the entire arc: that came together nicely! still sad that it's The End, but like. good overall!

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13/ Penguindrum (2011) i DONT think i followed 90% of the themes and their connections. that said, i DO love the way metaphors are treated as "literal". confusing maybe, but i adore the idea of "paint what you feel not what you see" applied to storytelling.

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～May～

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14/ From the New World (2012) this has a mess of an opening (several) episode(s), but it eventually found its footing and became quite a cool action adventure… thriller i guess? i do take some issues with bits and pieces but it was a good watch overall.

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15/ GinGitune (2013) fluff. the lightest, fluffiest of fluff. melts in water. there are several elements that couldve been mined for drama and intrigue but they were all treated as background elements. (this isn't a bad thing, but it's not what you might expect.)

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～June～

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16/ Space Dandy (2014) dropped after ep4, but on good terms i guess? fun animation, funky vibes, sometimes even funny! anime johny bravo…or I think i saw a Dirty Pair comparison, which feels right. but im not meshing with the silly wacky high nrg antics rn. maybe another time.

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～July～

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17/ Death Parade (2015) rly misleading intro (i was ready to drop lol) rly rly promising setup by ep4 RLY good development and mildly biffed ending, but hard to fault considering its a 12ep. i love the aesthetics, worldbuilding, characters. overall i really really liked this!!!

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18/ One Punch Man S1 (2015) i forgot how fun this show is! and the great worldbuilding! i dont plan to move to the second season again tho. i thought about grabbing the manga instead but good lord it's way longer than i thought. oh well.

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19/ Flying Witch (2016) slicest of life with a la croix touch of supernatural. the normal slices didn't do much for me 90% of the time. but the supernatural slices? choice. (…mostly.) tbh i just want an entire season of that cafe.

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～August～

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20/ Haven't You Heard? I'm Sakamoto (2016) i was skeptical, but this actually worked rly well. for moment. a short, beautiful moment. most of the potential here was stifled by trying to add high school drama/plot. the comedy tho, at its best, had a vibe i havent felt since hayate

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～September～

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21/ Saiki Kusuo no Psi Nan (2016) it is VERY EASY for a comedy show to slide from "absurdity = funny" to "this is just annoying". somehow, this never crossed that line, which was weirdly refreshing? not always a winner, but overall a good mix of laughs and superpower exploration.

21b/ edit to add: oh this was right after Sakamoto! Man. The two feel kind of kindred but Saiki is leagues better at staying fresh.

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22/ Viewfinder (2023) short but very sweet mind-bender puzzler thing. the story had a cool foundation but fumbled in execution imo. but the gameplay? top notch. felt great through and through. never too difficult. beautiful idea and beautiful execution.

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23/ Flip Flappers (2016) uncertain about the show at first, and then, after watching… im still uncertain. i did enjoy it, but I also felt outside the audience ig? a case where I can imagine a version of this show that knocks my socks off, but as-is it's just a fun ride

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24/ Fionna & Cake (2023) my expectations were very low and they were VASTLY exceeded! think this show is at its strongest when exploring characters w short stories, which was most of this. the ending felt slightly fumbled…i think it couldve rocked me but instead it was just :).

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～October～

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25/ Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye (2021) i already played and loved this game, but happened upon About Oliver's playthrough and fell in love again. truly that is The Most outer wilds playthrough. good lord.

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26/ The Amazing Digital Circus (2023) interesting and filled with style… but not for me. i'd list complaints but basically all of them are strengths and favorites for someone else. yknow?

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～November～

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27/ Little Witch Academia TV (2017) as the credits roll, i find myself with two thoughts: croix was done dirty and wow this is SPECTACLE. aptly magical. oh also! it was quite fun to follow along with contemporary discussion

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～December～

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28/ Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (2023) oh it's like. really good. i dont remember the movie so i cant compare but this stands well on its own and i love the character exploration, even if i dont like some of the uhh… what would you call that? scifi jokes? (spoiler territory soz)

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29/ Land of the Lustrous (2017) FLOORED by how much I loved this. qualms about the CG turned into admiration, the shading drawing me into the world. worries about annoying characters melted away to find admirable layers. THE USE OF SYMBOLISM kept me SO well fed. and the pacing!

29b/ cont: my only complaint that isn't a nitpick: i hate how it left so, so, so many threads loose. i faceplanted my dashboard during the decelerating pace between the first 10 eps and the final 2. i get that it's from an ongoing manga but that still felt maximum bummer.

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30/

[animusiem]

Billboard USA Exclusion Zone Episode 14 (06/03/2023)

This week felt a bit...weird. I think it's because some of these songs are just there you know? Anyways no more wasting time let's get through this.

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2. "WHERE SHE GOES" by Bad Bunny

There's three big trends that has been happening over the course of the year. Regional Mexican sound going mainstream, lazy sampling, and the rise of Jersey club. Jersey club's impact so far on the global stage is basically that one Lil Uzi Vert and the remix of Players. But, now Jersey club has its biggest hit with this Bad Bunny song. I'd say that for those who wanna get into this genre, this song is a great introduction with more fuller production and the familiarity of the Bad Bunny formula with the synth and the subject matter of hostile back and forth relationship drama. Overall a great tune.

12. "Angel Pt. 1" by Kodak Black, NLE Choppa, JVKE, Jimin, & Muni Long

I'll just rank every performance here because this song is kinda boring. Muni Long = Jimin >>>> NLE Choppa >>>> Kodak Black > JVKE.

19. "Say Yes To Heaven" by Lana Del Rey

If there's one thing TikTok is good at is making deepcuts and even unreleased demo from an artist whom are still on an album cycle. It happened with The Weeknd and seems like it happened with Lana Del Rey too.

36. "TQM" by Fuerza Regida

You know I would've joked about how this song correlates with TQG but this song is generic enough even by corrido standard that I just ehhhhhhhhh.

89. "Amagura" by Karol G

I think I might like this song more than half of Manana Sera Bonito. It all came down to the vocal melody which is very nice indeed.

90. "Bite Me" by ENHYPEN

You know my friend actually love this band. So this is a perfect opportunity for me to listen to their sound. I would say that they're doing the ITZY sound but doing it 80%.

93. "America Has A Problem" by Beyonce ft. Kendrick Lamar

It's kinda nice to hear Beyonce paying homage to early southern rap with the Kilo samples. And Kendrick Lamar always love to experiment his flow with his features and this one is no different. I wish both of them have a better chemistry tbh.

100. "Mourning" by Post Malone

NOW THIS IS WHAT I WANT MISERABLE EMO POSTY TO SOUND LIKE. No but seriously if the next album sounds like this song, I think it's gonna be as great as Hollywood's Bleeding.

169. "Vagabundo" by Sebastian Yatra, Manuel Turizo & Beele

I wonder what would come after reggaeton if and when the genre will become unpopular. Seems like it's gonna be either merengue, bachata, or regional mexican sound. Honestly I would love more merengue that sounds like this.

174. "69" by Nicky Jam X Feid

Why does this song sounds like it sampled Your Mines Still by Yung Bleu? Also I think I can say that I am sick of Feid. He's very bland and his success baffled me even more than Peso Pluma this year.

182. "Novo Balanco" by VEIGH

Speaking of rising trend, I think Brazilian trap music will be the next trend worldwide I'm predicting it now.

187. "The Best" by Tina Turner

Rest in Power Tina Turner.

I highly recommend everyone to listen to these songs.

[autistic-lalli]

I dont know how to properly frame my question, but autistic!lalli has always been a headcanon I readily claimed as canon in my heart because it MAKES PERFECT SENSE in my brain. But besides me, what I'd like to ask is what traits/habits/behaviors Lalli has that immediately clicked to you that he was autistic? Or showed that he was? Like, gush to me about them

(this is mainly so I can get better at writing him and also because I'm curious to know! Actually, SLAP me with EVERYTHING about Lalli, if you can 😂 I'd love to actually know everything)

This topic was also requested by @the-story-isnt-over-yet ! This post is for both y’all :)

I’m going to try to keep this organized, but we’ll see how successful I am. First up, I’ll talk through Lalli’s general traits, then the traits I picked out quickly and resonated with, and then I’ll touch on a couple other things that stand out to me!

Sensory Experience

Lalli repeatedly displays sensory-avoiding and sensory-seeking behaviors. He likes soft textures and sweets—he picks himself up a big ol’ fluffy cloak in Adventure 2, and his mind conjures him a nice and soft one in his dreamspace, and we all know how he feels about pastries. He’s always willing to eat sweets and breads, which suggests that Lalli has samefoods as well (samefoods are like a comfort food, but taken up to eleven; foods that always sound good, sometimes to the point that they’re the only thing an autistic person can eat.) It’s just a single line, but where Lalli tells Emil that he hates blueberries, it makes me think of a very specific picture (I’ll link it later if I can find it.) Blueberries, and other fruit, don’t taste the same every time! Some are sweet, some are sour, some are mushy, some are grainy, and some are juicy. When you don’t know what to expect from a food, this makes it hard to want to eat it, even if some aspect of the flavor is good.

But I digress! One thing that I resonated with right away with Lalli is that he clearly has sensitive proprioceptive awareness. That just means the sense of where your body is in space. When Lalli sleeps or hides under a bunk or table, he’s reducing his sensory input. Being in a small space is comforting because there’s less space to be aware of.

Lalli is also sensitive to touch, which is a fairly easy trait to spot. He doesn’t like the friendly punches the crew delivers, and even balks at Emil’s touch when he’s upset. There are exceptions, but those exceptions come at times when Lalli is calm and expecting the touch to occur.

And sound! Lalli doesn’t like loud sounds, in particular loud people (sorry, Sigrun.) This is a great place to talk about Lalli’s shutdowns. We don’t see Lalli experience meltdowns, but he does have a shutdown a couple times. Shutdowns are a response to stress and sensory overload. It looks different for everyone, and since it’s internal, it’s hard to tell how exactly Lalli’s shutdowns run. However, we see him cover his ears to block out sound and hum (“mrr!”) in order to calm himself down. He’s just trying to regulate his sensory experience. His humming is also an example of vocal stimming.

Social Difficulties

Lalli definitely has social difficulties, but it can be hard to tell which difficulties are due to the language barrier and which are due to his brain chemistry. But! Paying attention to the first part of the story, when he’s with all Finnish-speakers, as well as the dream sequences can really help us hone in on those traits.

Lalli, in general, doesn’t understand other people beyond what they say. He doesn’t understand body language or sarcasm—he doesn’t get why everyone’s punching him, he doesn’t know when Tuuri’s joking and when she’s serious, and he stares at Emil because he’s curious about him and doesn’t realize it’s impolite. He doesn’t notice when Emil is rude and doesn’t understand social scripts like saying “thank you” and “you’re welcome.” When he wants to express approval or comfort, he gives a soft pat to the other person. More touch than that might be too much for him, but he does want to express something, and pats are an excellent tool in that way.

Lalli’s inability and/or refusal to learn or use the crew member’s names also gives us insight to how Lalli faces social conundrums. To him, everyone else is more distinguishable by the epithets he gives them—their names don’t mean anything. It’s like naming someone “flower delivery guy” in your phone contacts instead of “Greg.”

Lalli also isn’t easily frightened. The only times we see him be really afraid is when someone he loves is in immediate mortal danger. The everyday stuff like trolls and omens don’t scare him, which is certainly in part just because he’s used to these things. Trolls and spirits are an everyday part of his life. But an unusual lack of fear is a common autistic experience as well, so I suspect it goes beyond Lalli’s accustomation.

Other Traits

A couple other things that didn’t fit into either of the former categories! First of all, the rubik's cube. That’s just autistic solidarity. Emil picked up a stim toy for his bf, we love to see it.

But also, Lalli relies a lot on his routine. That’s probably why the military, and scouting in particular, suited him. He has his own personal routine that is the same day in and day out. He tries to keep a routine on the expedition, but isn’t able to, which increases the amount of stress he’s under. Nothing is predictable, which automatically makes everything more stressful.

Relationships

I also think the dynamics of Lalli’s different relationships are super interesting and really highlight some things that aren’t often covered in media with autistic characters. It’s super heartbreaking the way Onni and Tuuri don’t seem to understand Lalli. Tuuri especially doesn’t understand why Lalli does the things he does, and doesn’t seem to make any effort to understand, which is sadly a common experience for many autistic people.

On the other hand, Emil’s reactions are the complete opposite. As I put it to a friend once, Emil often makes mistakes with Lalli, but he never crosses the same boundary twice. He lets Lalli have agency in their relationship. If Lalli has a boundary that inconveniences Emil, he doesn’t complain about it, he simply adapts. Lalli has very specific needs in his relationships, needs that are both unusual and difficult for him to communicate, so it’s far easier for him to just default to being a loner.

Me & Lalli

On a personal level, I have a whole lot of these traits. I stim with soft things, I’m sensitive to sound, I tend to be hypersensitive with my proprioceptive sense, I had to intentionally teach myself to read body language (I work as a theatre artist, which helped a lot,) I’m not easily frightened, I’m sensitive to touch and sound, and I certainly struggle socially. Furthermore, I actually had an untreated sleep disorder until about a year and a half ago, so I deeply resonated with Lalli’s chronic exhaustion.

Truth be told, I headcanoned Lalli as autistic from his introductory card, and I knew he was autistic within ten pages. Chronically exhausted and doesn’t know what’s going on? Mine now.

The Autism Metaphor

I talk about this some in my autism and superpowers post, but I really love that Lalli is both autistic and is living an autistic metaphor. It’s not uncommon for characters who can see or sense other things (ghosts, spirits, emotions, danger, etc.) to read as autistic, because that’s what autism often feels like. Our sensory experience is so distinct and we are so aware of it that it can feel like a superpower at times--in a good way and in a bad way. We’re living in a sensory world that a lot of neurotypical people don’t understand. Furthermore, these kinds of powers or sensitivities usually come with an isolating social impact in these stories, which only strengthens the metaphor for autism.

But Lalli has both actual autism and is a mage. He sees spirits and omens and can sense when trolls are near, and also is sensitive to sounds and doesn’t like to be touched. These things aren’t related to one another, but they all read as being in the same category, which both deepens the metaphor and makes him really interesting as an autistic character.

This is also why Onni readily reads as autistic as well. We don’t have as much direct evidence for him, and in many ways his trauma seems to run much deeper than it does in Lalli and Tuuri, so it’s hard to separate out what’s a trauma response and what’s an autistic response. Overall, I’m quite a fan of “no Hatakoinen is neurotypical,” but that’s a post for another day ;)

I’ll also be posting a panel or two of an instance where Lalli is displaying an autistic trait each day for the month of April!

[chaotichedonist]

Tharunka (Kensington, NSW : 1953 - 2010)

Wednesday 9 June 1976, page 14

   Some funny moments to tease you into reading:

Press: Roger, you're noted for your amazing screams.

Freddie: It's a controlled scream. I'd rather call it art.

/

Freddie: You're joking dear. I'm just a singer, dear.

/

It’s been a struggle, because in the beginning nobody knew what we were doing. We were the only people who believed in ourselves.

  back at the hotel sleazy

  For all those fans who were misled by the media, Queen did not spend a couple of days-relaxing on sunny Perth beaches - it rained the whole bloody time they were there. (In Melbourne the hotel was 'besiged' by fans, who to quote Pete Brown — Queen's personal manager — seemed to be emerging from the wood work). Not to be put off however, by the Australian conditions Freddie Mercury (lead vocals and keyboards) attended the press conference in white pants and a simply sumptuous summer synthetic top with delicate butterfly sleeves curling gently over his shoulders. He was even more beautiful than Sophia Loren.

  They were all quite chatty only Roger (Meadows-Taylor, the drummer) would keep interjecting, usually over John Deacon (bass) who said not an audible word.

Press: Would you describe your music as mock opera? 

Freddie: They call it cock-opera back home. 

Roger: I suppose because the vocals are in the 'grand style'. 

Press: When is your next album coming out? 

Freddie: We'll have a rest and think about it.. 

Roger: We just don't bung'em together. 

Brian: We don't sort of write sitting in hotel rooms you know. 

Freddie: We gather influences. 

Press: Your music has been described as snob rock. What do you think? 

Freddie: I couldn't describe our music as anything. We certainly don't put across that this it intelligent music that is on a completely differenrt level to the people who come to it. 

Roger: It's written for the people. That's what it's all about. 

Press: The theme of death recurs on your albums. Why this preoccupation?

Roger: Freddie's morbid mind.

Press to Freddie: Do you consider yourself a sex-symbol?

Freddie: You're joking dear. I'm just a singer, dear.

Press to Roger: Do you consider yourself a superstar? 

Roger: As meaningless, (blows kisses).

Roger on the media - absurd for a magazine combine rock and politics. 

Press: Roger, you're noted for your amazing screams. 

Freddie: It's a controlled scream. I'd rather call it art. 

Undauted by the fearless Australians they continued talking about their lyrics and the esoteric implication.

Roger: Freddie just loves the word 'Beelzebub'. 

Freddie: Yes, well, Brian's got a taste for unusual words. 

Roger: You talking about dandling on your knee and things? 

All four of them write songs and each has at least one song on 'A Night At The Opera'. 

Brian: It's very difficult to talk about our songs as a group because we all have different ideas of what the songs are about. 

Roger: No we don't. 

Freddie: Roger's the sensitive one. 'I'm in love with my car' is the most sensitive song on the album (Night At The Opera). 

Roger did tend to sit there pouting at the bows on his pink lame gym-boots. One hardly noticed the dark roots in this gold angelic hair. We did ask, but unfortunately Roger didn't have a pic of himself in the gymboots. Roger was later accosted by David Essex fans in the foyer of the hotel, who wished to know if he was a popstar, girls now have Roger's autograph. Back to the lyrics..

Freddie: Every song is written by one of us and means something special to each one of us. Certain songs have a very literal meaning and can be understood straight away. Then there are some songs that can be taken on a lot of different levels.

He describes a lot of his songs as fantasies. 'We want to consciously lose ourselves. There are certain things we want to escape from in our lives or whatever.' He feels that people should create their own private fantasies from the images in his songs and so doesn't like to talk about what they mean to him. 'I'd hate to shatter someone's illusion. If I listen to somebody's songs I conjure up a fantasy of what its about and I like to keep it that way.'

He elaborated further.. 'Lyrically it is helpful to use certain words. You see it depends.. sometimes I want to use words that are phonetically useful. In the beginning they're surface words but you entwine them into the meaning of a song. That's what I mean about different levels.' 

Brian May has a different approach to his songs, 'There's usually something serious behind them, but I feel a big responsibility not to over-indulge in idealogies. In 'White Queen' I was very interested in the significance of Queens and White Ladies in English folk lore. The song started off as a personal experience, the frustration of not being able to communicate, I was thinking about Robert Graves' ' White Goddess' and that became involved in the song.' 

Roger: Romantic slush.

Brian: Our 'Now I'm Here' song is really about our first American tour. A big experience for anybody. It's a conglomeration of all the experiences we had on that tour. We had a great time with Mott the Hoople. I suppose they taught us to be a touring band.

We're very critical about each other and very cynical. We don't get deeply into meanings because you're living with it all the time. You have to be a bit light-hearted about it.

With four individual writers the albums were not done with a specific concept in mind. The 'White Queen' was written four years before the 'Black Queen'.

Brian: I don’t think that Freddie’s 'Black Queen' was a reaction to the 'White Queen'. We just discovered that we had these songs and the rest of the album seemed to fit around it.

Freddie: It probably subconsciously coheres.

Similarly ‘A night At The Opera’ has no overall concept though the name of the album is related to Freddie’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.

As Brian puts it ‘We are four very different people with four very different directions, but there is a musical development that does make some kind of sense. Queen is very much an independent thing. We are always bouncing ideas off each other. We are very aware that we need each other.’

The rapport between them onstage bears out this statement. They work off each other in a carefully intergrated show thatt creates an atmosphere of spontaneity for the audience.

At the opening of their set there is a flash of fire and smoke as Queen emerge on stage. While music winds up they launch into ‘Orge Battle’. Like a Greek God or a simister Mephistopheles Freddie's powerful vocals cut through the smoke and flames. 

With the stage show the band is doing something different to stimulating their records. Brian: "You don't get up there and behave like you do in the street. You go up there to entertain people and give them some kind of excitement". They have rearranged some of their songs especially for stage performance, including a medley of 'Bohemian Rhapsody', 'Killer Queen', 'Black Queen' and 'Leyroy Brown', which grinds down into 'March of the Black Queen' and then skips out on a lighter note which features Brian on genuine Japanese ukalele. 

The brilliant solo Brian performs in 'Brighton Rock', with sweet high Paginini frills and harmonies, stimulating two or three guitars on stage, is in a style he has evolved himself. He got the idea the first time he was in a recording studio. Says Brian: "It was my first experience of doing multi-tracking. It happened to be in the cannon-things which repeat themselves. You play one, then you play the same over the top of it after a time interval. Later we started to do those things on stage but there was the problem of how to do it. We started having a single delay and then another one over the top of it. Then afterwards you do another repeat on the second. You can then do three part harmonies with yourself. We started to base it all on ten second solos and it grew and grew. There's a lot of other people doing it now and I'm glad because it’s a thing you can play around with.' 

In the stage arrangement of "Prophet's Song' Freddie uses a similar echo feedback system which multiplies his voice into a celestial choir. His voice floats as a vision - "Listen to the madman' - while Brian plays some beautiful guitar.

encore amore

Brian describes their encore performance as the time when the band really unwinds. "It's nice at the encore to just completely unbend and make a fool of yourself. It gets rid of the tension between the band and the audience. I used to get a kick out of going to concerts to see rock groups like the 'Who' and feeling involved, like the group knew you were there. WE go by the kinds of things we think people would like at an encore. It's at a very basic level really, an energy level, a physical level. Rock and Roll is kind of a body music. I get as much satisfaction out of basic rock'n'roll like Status Quo as the most sophisticated music I know.' 

The audience certainly enjoyed it and really let loose their energy. Roger (who claimed the most female screams) in rainbow mop-wig opened the encore with slow heavy rock-beat as Freddie did a dramatic entrance in a silk kimino. As he eased into 'Big Spender', he peeled off to striped hot pants for an outrageous version of 'Jailhouse Rock' - simple hard-driving rock'n'roll that had everybody out of their sets.

gettin' feelin' thru th' transistors

Brian was rather upset that the Australian Press should braiid them as a manufactured band. If 'Bohmeian ,hapsody' can be seen as incorporating the spectrum of s talent - mood changes, heavy stuff, the soft ballad - it is not because they (men of letters from universities) have developed a magic 'X' formula. Rather the song can be seen as a musical progression, a reworking of motifs off their other albums. 

Brian can only say that, 'They obviously didn't see us in the earlier days. I can understand why they'd say that over here. Big impact. Overnight success. It must have been all calculated. If you’d seen the way it happened in England, you wouldn’t think that. I’ve had years playing pubs in England where people were drinking beer and discussing what other people were doing and not listening to the music. I want to build up this thing where people do want to go to a concert. While it begins to look like the commercial side, it;s what it’s all about. I want knock it because I want people to come and hear what we do. 

It’s been a struggle, because in the beginning nobody knew what we were doing. We were the only people who believed in ourselves. We started playing because we had some kind of vision that we thought was worthwhile. For over a year and a half we were playing to ourselves. Gradually you gather people around who believe and that’s the way it happened.

Nobody is going to tell us to play what is commercial. What we play comes from us. We’re very lucky really in that we have a kind of audience who are attentive to whatever direction we choose to follow. One of us will come up with a song and we'll say, 'Yeah, it needs that kind of treatment and maybe that turns out to be something you call heavy and sometimes something which is light.' 

To get back to the charge that they are a manufactured band, while he doesn't like it, he can only take it as a compliment that they think the band is so good. He doesn't consider himself a technician "technically I've stayed the same for the last six or seven years. Progress is what you feel and what you are putting across. That's what playing is about for us.' 

Freddie: There's a lot of music there too.

Roger: A bit of music, yeah.

low key queen

By Anne Finnegan

Wednesday 9 June 1976

If you save, do not forget to leave a link to this, coz i kinda found it by myself and made and transcipt. Thanks :)

[saiharas-world-blog]

Okay, so I have to post something.

Uh, uhm.

OKAY

DRV3 BOYS WITH A S/O THAT ASKS TO TIE RIBBONS ONTO THEIR HAIR

(By Mod Kiibo!)

Gonta Gokuhara

- "hey gonta can i put these on you?"

- this is sweet boy

- so when you walk up to him with alot of tiny ribbons

- and ask if you can place them on his hair

- he'd instantly go with it

- "gonta don't understand why s/o wants to put ribbons in gonta's hair"

- "its okay you dont need to"

- you guys just enjoy some silence for a while, you're probably humming too

- "gonta feels like a christmas tree"

- uh

- okay he didn't have to put it that way

- but by the time you're done he's super happy

- they look so cute! Gonta likes it!

- 50% because you took the liberty to make the ribbons look like butterflies but okay

- oH HE'LL ASK TO DO THE SAME

- YOU CAN'T STOP HIM

- overall happy Gonta though💕💕

- by the end of the day your hair could practically be a mess like his

- plus some (fav. color) ribbons strung onto your hair

- alsO SINCE HE'S PRETTY BIG YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW HE TUGS AT YOUR HAIR

- he's pretty gentle, im not gonna lie

- but there are just those times

- you may or may not have yelled at him

- yeah maybe next time you should teach him how to do it properly

K1-B0

- "wait what"

- he doesn't understand, he'll be reluctant

- "come on, it'll be fun!"

- "but aren't ribbons for girls??"

- he'll probably google boys with ribbons on their hair while you're talking

- soon enough he agrees

- okay so once you start caressing his hair you're just like

- what kind of f_cking conditioner do you use?

- like, holy hell his hair feels like the things you'd see on a L'Oréal commercial.

- he's confused with your reactions because

- what are you talking about?? its just his hair??

- when he tells you it's synthetic you're like OH

- you keep quiet after that, just enjoying the way his hair feels so ugjkhwNKfhlKlwhIHoGj

- he doesn't ask to put ribbons on your hair when you're done, since he's calculated a 78.6% chance of failure

- he actually loves the way it looks though, little electric blue ribbon delicately strung onto his hair.

- oh, then you show him a surprise

- basically you turn off the lights and the ribbons glow

- "OH WOW S/O WHERE DID YOU GET THESE"

- "whY? ARE YOU GOING TO BUY SOME??"

Kaito Momota

- okay you wanna know what you did?

- yeah?

- okay, so you didn't tell him that you were going to put ribbons in his hair

- instead, you went something along the lines of;

- "hey kaito can i put stars in your hair?"

- he's hesitant because where the hell are you going to get stars to put in his hair

- also because it probably isn't masculine

- but i mean

- they're stARS HOW COULD HE NOT--

- so he says yes

- okay his hair is weird and you'd probably have a hard time working with this

- but the end result is worth it

- you practically made his hair a canvas and your ribbons the paint

- you stuck to your word though

- in his hair, laid a freaking galaxy

- kaito's hair color was perfect

- purple, yellow, and white glittery ribbons adorned the man

- and they were shaped into stars

- you have no idea how much this boy's love for you has grown

- "hey maybe i can add some to your goatee too"

- that was a joke

- obviously

- but when he went "Go ahead!"

- you just hAD TO

- so now he's walking around with stars on his hair and one glittery purple star on his goatee

Kokichi Ouma

- let me show you something

- its just ouma with ribbons

- i edited that, i know

- he looks like a girl but don't mind that

- ngl, you probably did this while he was asleep

- so he'd wake up in the morning like he usually does

- then he looks into the mirror and--

- "WOAH I LOOK LIKE A GIRL"

- immediately runs to you

- you'd be making coffee or something

- then you'd look at him and burst out laughing

- "y'know, that look suits you"

- "S/O THIS ISN'T FUNNY"

- pouty boy

- "as the ultimate supreme leader i demand you rid of these immediately!!"

- nah, man

- he tried removing the ribbons

- he failed miserably

- you may or may not have made a bet that he can't survive 24 hours normally with those on

- you may or may not have said you wouldn't remove it if you won

- he may or may not have said he'll style your hair and you'll have to go with it for 24 hours if he won

- at the end of the day he just walks into your room

- with that huge smirk on his face

- and oh sh_t he won the bet

- you just slowly remove the ribbons as it dawns upon you that your supreme overlord boyfriend is going to mess up your hair

- haha good luck

Korekiyo Shinguji

- why bother put ribbons in his hair

- if you can make his hair into a ribbon

- initially, you were just running your fingers through his hair

- the thought of how his hairstyle is so feminine sparked into a conversation

- eventually leading you to suggest styling his hair

- "no"

- "but--"

- "no"

- don't worry though

- he'll reluctantly agree

- that is after you promise not to cut or color his hair

- he tells you stories while you do your thing

- you know tsuyu asui from bnha?

- imagine kork with that hairstyle

- +lucky clover shaped ribbons

- "you're a walking good luck charm now!"

- "no wonder you're here with me"

- SMOOTH 100

- he styles your hair to (somehow) match his

- he doesn't know how to do the clover ribbon thing

- so he just turns them into extensions of sorts

- you and kork should do this more often!

Rantaro Amami

- "okay"

- avocado boi is just so chill and open

- like you don't even have to ask

- slight hassle because his hair is short

- you ended up adding clips too

- so he basically has this one medium sized ribbon on the right side of his head

- and a sh_ton baby ribbons just scattered everywhere

- you just start joking around

- "oh no! Ribbons seem to have invaded your scalp!"

- he goes with it

- "oh no! Am i going to die??"

- "if you can get to the cure, then you won't have to suffer anymore"

- "and the cure is?"

- "hidden after hours of cuddles"

- im sure you can tell where this is going

- so you guys cuddle

- you remove the ribbons from his hair

- and the day goes on like usual

- then tomorrow comes

- and avocado boi sees you with a bunch of ribbons in your hair

- its too early for this

- before he can even speak you look at him and exclaim

- "RANTARO THE RIBBONS HAVE INFECTED ME--"

- "the wHAT??"

- a few minutes later and you're just laughing

- "okay so maybe i wasn't infected. do you like my new hairstyle?"

- "sure, it suits you"

- avocado boi is amused

- yay to s/o!

Ryoma Hoshi

- i

- i just

- im not sure how this'll work

- his hair is super short???

- that doesn't stop you from trying though!

- he goes with it

- he plans on covering them with his hat anyway if ever you insist he keeps them on

- you did a thing

- where uh

- you weaved the ribbons and stuck them to a bunch of clips

- those in which you placed onto his hair

- like amami, ryoma has this "surperior ribbon" on one side of his head

- when you're finished he probably looks like a 2 year old kid with an extra (personality wise) woman for a mom

- ngl he doesn't like how it looks

- of course he won't tell you that

- he won't try to decorate your hair, mostly because he can't reach but--

- he'll ask nicely if he can remove the ribbons

- as nicely as he can at least--

- its a whole different story when you compliment him though

- "maybe i'll keep them on a little longer"

- nice work s/o!

Shuichi Saihara

- "o-oh?"

- he'll give you a minute to wait before he says yes

- atua knows why he took a minute but alright

- in your mind its just;

- "i'm going to make sweetchi look sweeter after this"

- you decided to get some goth ribbons beforehand!

- like those little clips with those tiny glittery skulls

- okay maybe you went with pastel goth

- moving on,

- his hair is so smooth

- it feels like he uses Patene or Treseme even!

- "even hairstylists are impressed"

- "what"

- "nothing, i just thought of mimicking a shampoo commercial"

- you had some fun combing his hair

- so much fun that he had to remind you that you were supposed to put ribbons

- oops, haha

- you start squealing halfway through

- "are you okay?"

- "yes im just imagining how cute you'd look after this"

- cuE INTENSE BLUSHING

- you were practically going to die once you finished

- one look at him and you knew

- Mission: Success

- and he just has this rosy blush and the way his eyelashes flutter--

- rip in peace s/o

- (rest in peace in peace???)

- he decorates your hair as a thanks

- he did amAZINGLY

- oh yeah he also used the pastel goth ribbons

- so now you two match!

- happy sweetchi and happy s/o!

Side note: I'd love to see sprite edits/fanart of these!

-Mod Kiibo