#ow Charlie Slimecicle what the fuck

[caesurah-tblr]

Armored Pheasant…

[fizzyorange-v2]

just talking to my friend in dms about how at first when q!charlie started calming down from his rampage i was kinda upset cause i WANTED a full villain arc i wanted blood and rage and a massacre but then I kept watching and realised how much of a fucking idiot I was to underestimate charlie slimecicle’s rp skills like that. because charlie isn’t just playing a character hell bent on righteous revenge for his daughter, he’s playing a character actually grieving that daughter.

it’s obvious now that i think about it that the initial revenge plot to kill all the eggs and his repeated self affirmations that juanaflippa isn’t gone and that it can all just be reset are clearly just him entering the denial and anger stages. and that later scenes after the rest of the server finally backed him into a corner and calmed him down and he had that heart wrenching scene looking at juanaflippa’s photo, asking for a literal trial for her life and soul back and then that whooooole bar scene, that he has then entered the bargaining and depression stages.

Because the truth is, q!charlie doesn’t actually want to kill anyone (except Mariana lolll), he especially doesn’t want to kill any of the eggs! All he wanted was to be a good dad. And I think that that’s part of the reason he as a character failed so hard to actually tangibly hurt anyone during this stream. He was a mess, crying screaming yelling clawing trying to do something, anything to save his daughter. Anything to fix it all. That scene of him failing to break into Phil’s house haunts me.

But I think there’s something especially tragic that before Juanaflippa, q!charlie probably was the kind of character to hurt others without caring, he seemed to have no idea about empathy or healthy relationships before her thats for sure. He’s literally already killed TWO eggs before this, so causally and with such ease. But his love for his daughter improved him, and it changed him, and it made him just enough of a better person that when that daughter was taken from him, suddenly even to save her he can’t fucking do it anymore.

I also really appreciate how everyone else on the server reacted to him too. They didn’t at all treat him like some big bad scary villain like I originally would I’ve expected. Sure they were understandably wary and protective, but every single one of them weren’t so much angry at him as… WORRIED for him. And it really helped put it in perspective that this isn’t some guy going on a hashtag villain arc, but immersed me in oh fuck. This is a guy that just lost his daughter. And all his friends and fellow parents know. And they aren’t scared of him, they’re concerned for him. They aren’t full of fear… but pity. Because they know. They know what he’s just lost. And they understand. And they’re trying to be there for him.

And Charlie despite all the grand speeches and diabolical plots and not so carefully placed land mines… doesn’t really care how he gets Juanaflippa back, as long as she’s with him again.

Just man,,,, the way Charlie performed this character’s grief is so fucking stellar and SO fucking excruciating. The part that genuinely broke me was in that photo scene when he said: “i'm sorry flippa... i thought i could change something- i thought i could undo it, thought i could make it right... now i see that there's no way this can be made right...” which already fucking ow ow OW and clearly him finally exiting denial/anger straight into depression but then he whispers THIS FUCKING BIT: “it wasnt even on purpose… i know that... it doesnt make it better… what do i do juanaflippa?” LIKE FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! OKAY!!!!!

Anyway massive props to everyone for the rp today but ESPECIALLY charlie for this agonisingly accurate and visceral depiction of grief that I somehow was NOT expecting. I thought we were going to get villain arc egg massacre angst and instead we got father mourning his daughter trying futilely to do anything to bring her back angst. I’m never fucking recovering from this one.

[ana-lmao]

Coded Shift (Chapter 2)

Sorry for being absent!! Have been busy!! Warnings: Swearing, code, g/t ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Oh my god Thats what Charlie heard before opening his eyes, he seemed... Normal? Not taller or shorter... but.. why was Phil staring at him like that? Phil backed away a bit, a worried look was on his face, Charlie's code got worse, It was covering more then half his body, a single horn coming out of his head which was also black and green with numbers floating, He had a tail, shaped like what he would assume is a demon tail and claws.

-Charlie... -He said quietly, slowly approaching him. -W-What? -We need to talk. You're getting corrupted too much... -Corrupted? Don't be silly! Nothings wrong! -His tail sways without him noticing.

-Charlie that's not Juanaflippa! -He shouted. -What..? What do you mean? -It's a code Charlie! A Code! You need to stay away from it! Look at you!

Charlie looked at him confused, then angrily shouted: -SH3'S R34L!!!! Another glitch effect happened. -W-What the fuck?! -Phil was now looking up at Charlie, backing away.

*Philza is Bleeding, Philza was slain by Slimecicle* [Cellbit]: ??? [Cellbit]: Phil??? *Philza was slain by Sl1m3c1cl3* [Tubbo]: L [Tubbo]: L [Tubbo]: L

[+]El Mariana *Philza was slain by Sl1m3c1cl3* [Tubbo]: L [Tubbo]: O h [Tubbo]: Dam Phil what did you do [Cellbit]: Phil Coords [Roier]: Why's his name like that [Tubbo]: Why is he special [Phil]: egxilr [Cellbit]: Eggxile? *Philza was slain by Sl1m3c1cl3* [Philza]: ys [ElMariana]: Qué? [Roier]: Late to the party Mariana [ElMariana]: Cállate hijo de puta Cellbit hesitantly warps to EGGXILE, Him and Phil were just here a few hours ago and the place already looked so much worse. It was silent... too silent... -Phil?.. -He mumbled, before being surrounded by darkness, flickering 0's and 1's, he felt.. that the darkness was moving?.. He tried to get his sword out before he was in a random room surrounded by dirt and a few code blocks. -Cellbit!!! -He heard a scream from behind, it was Phil. -PHIL!! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE WE?! -Charlies.. code's worse, I don't know where we are tho. -What was the huge black uhh barrier thing? -That wasn't a barrier, it was- Phil was cut off by another crash. -OW WHAT GIVES??? -Tubbo!! are you hurt?! -Phil went over to him -I WAS JUST HANGING AROUND WITH SUNNY WHEN I WAS SUDDENLY CRASHED DOWN HERE!! Suddenly a small child-like figure starts approaching them. It places down a sign. -1'M S0RRY, 1'M S0RRY!!, 1 D1DN'T M34N F0R TH1S T0 H4PP3N!!! -What..? -The child came out of the shadows, it was "Juanaflippa". -What do you mean you didn't mean for this to happen?! You have been corrupting Slime for MONTHS now! YOU MADE HIM A MONSTER. -Phil yells at Flippa and she places down another sign. -1 Just m1ss3d p4p@ 4nd 1 d1dn't w4nn@ l3@v3 h1s s1d3!! -You aren't Juanaflippa... He's not your father! And you are not his child! -Cellbit approaches her. -1 4M!!! Th3 f3d3r4t10n m4d3 m3 l1k3 th1s, th3y t0ld m3 1 c0uld s33 p4p@ 4g@1n but w1th c0nc3qu3nc3s, 1'm s0rry... 1 d1dn't kn0w... They were all stunned, it was her after all. -So wait, wait- What's happening to Charlie now?-Tubbo asked to break the silence. -Th3 bl4ck v01d th4t br0ught y0u h3r3 w@sn't a barr13r... -What was it then? -Cellbit asked, getting closer and crouching down. -P4p4 -What? -1t w4s p@p4 -But how?.. -Th3 c0d3 m4d3 h1m l1k3 th4t -Like?... -B1g -Oh. *On the surface* -donde está todo el mundo? -Mariana was walking around looking for people before teleporting to eggxile since he saw the chat earlier. -Slime? -M4r1n4....-Mariana heard a glitchy voice, similar to Slimes -QUÉ?! -Why 4r3 y0u h3r3. -Why are you here?! This is my husbands place! -G0 1n th3 h0us3 -Why? -... -G0 1n th3 h0us3. -No I won't Suddenly Mariana gets tied by.. something. -EH? WHAT IS THIS?! -1 t0ld y0u t0 g0 1ns1d3... A shadow looms over Mariana, A demonic figure with flickering 0's and 1's, Horns, one shorter then the other, a tail, which seems to be wrapped around him and just a bit of human skin. The figure was Towering over Mariana, it sounded and looked familiar... but why.. -LET ME GO!!! -N0. -WHAT EVEN ARE YOU?! YOU'RE WORSE THEN THE HORRIFIC OTHER MOBS HERE! AN ACTUAL FUCKING MONSTER- WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY HUSBAND?! The figure stopped. -1-1'm n0t @ m0nst3r... -Shut up and LET ME GO! The figure lets go and starts.. whining. It tries to hide behind the small "house" which obviously doesn't work. -W-What?.. -Mariana stayed still for a bit. -1'm n0t @ m0nst3r... 1'm f1n3... 1 just w4nt t0 pr0t3ct h3r.. -Wait- Slime-? He approaches the figure. -Slime?.. Wh- What happened?! Charlie goes back to normal height, putting his head in his knees. -Mi amor.. I'm sorry- Mariana tries to comfort Slime -Do you hate me..? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chapter 1: https://www.tumblr.com/ana-lmao/742474743195811840/couldnt-upload-coded-shift-chapter-i-normally?source=share

[roachyboi]

Not even a day into the fixation and I have a headcanon about how the whole universe works.

Charlie’s just made of smile and accidentally gooped into another universe once and has been jumping around since. But a side effect of this is that he forgets literally everything the second he’s in a new universe.

The only way he gets reminded is by Schlatt and his dumb little apple stand. BUT, PLOT TWIST! Schlatt and Charlie are actually good friends and Schlatt ( who is a god/devil idfk ) comes to visit Charlie often and usually is the one to get Charlie out of dangerous situations by reminding him of everything. For example when Charlie woke up as a game show host for a maze that just repeated itself infinitely, Schaltt appeared after the twentieth repeat and got Charlie out of there. Charlie is an unlucky bastard.

There’s a “reality” universe where Charlie and Schlatt go the most and it’s just what the ccs do in real life, gaming videos, vlogs, etc. A “Minecraft” universe where Charlie and his friends (grizzly, Condification, Bizly) are deities and just go around making challenges for themselves to try and beat or just to have fun.

Now we’re getting into potential fanfic territory here.

The most recent universe Charlie went to is QSMP but the one before that is the DSMP where Schlatt was too late to stop Charlie from going into Purpled’s trap. He arrived just in time to stop Charlie from dying all together but it took a little time to heal before he could remind Charlie of everything.

After that Charlie was low-key pissed at Schlatt, who told Charlie that he’ll owe him a favour that Charlie could cash in at any point for anything.

Fast forward to the QSMP (disclaimer that I’ve only seen a few Slimecicle streams of the QSMP so I don’t know everything) and Charlie runs into Schaltt’s apple stand while out and remembers everything. Schaltt tells Charlie that he’s actually here to get Charlie out and to somewhere else because the universe was actually pretty dangerous. The federation was “doing some fucked up shit man so I’m saving your ass before anything bad happens to you” but Charlie refuses to just leave like that.

So then Charlie cashes in that favour for Schaltt to help him get rid of the federation. And while Schlatt could just obliterate them all (with some difficulty as the federation is pretty strong) they want to do it the “show-off” way.

It’s just a reason for Charlie to do some badass shit really lmao. I love shapeshifter slime Charlie, it’s so cool and has so many possibilities.

[nyxmisfortune]

The zombie apocalypse is a lot more fun with friends🌱🍄

Paring-Plationic!Slimecicle x reader

Warnings-Mentions of getting murdered [It’s the apocalypse what did you expect?]

Summary-You had been living through the Apocalypse all on your own, until you meet a new friend.

Notes-This is based on Slimecicle’s 100 days in a hardcore minecraft apocalypse with a few twists and differences. Also, first fic that isn’t Hermitcraft!

You had spent most of your time alone, walking the streets of the town you were born in. You stayed hidden in whatever building you could find during the night silently praying the zombies would get to you. 

During one of your expeditions to find food you came acrost a farm under a bridge. You jump the fence and pick some of the crops, intending to make bread with them later. “Who are you?” You jump backwards.

You look to where the voice came from only to see a man with a mace, holding over his shoulder like he’s about to beat you with it. “Hey, hey I mean no harm. Didn’t think anyone was living here.” You say, slowly backing up toward the fence hoping you could would be able to hop it before he hit you. He lowers his mace “Hey, you aren’t going to kill me I won’t kill you.”

You’re shocked, you thought that he would have killed you anyway but hey, this was a nice suprise. He holds out his hand and helps you back up to your feet. “Thanks for not killing me, I owe you one.” You shake his hand. “The name’s Y/n” “The name’s Charlie, and I could use some help fixing up these walls. If you could jump them I have no doubt the zombies can too.”

So you both got to work, even if you still didn’t trust Charile fully he didn’t seem to bad. You both told jokes and made light of the situation as the zombies tried to climb the walls. Charlie was right and the zombies could in fact get over the wall. 

“OH FUCK OH GOD!” Charlie swung around his mace one shoting most of the zombies. Once the zombies where gone and the wall was built he took you to his base on the bridge. 

“How long are you planing to stay?” Charlie asks you. “I mean, as long as you’ll let me. This is the most fun I’ve had since the apocalypse started and it’s far safer then most of the places i’ve stayed.” You lay back against a bookshelf keeping an eye on the walls. Charlie seems happy about that. “Well at least i’ve got someone to survive the apocalypse with.”

[raindownforme]

When

Charlie Slimecicle x reader [they/them used]

They stared at the box in front of them. In it was a camera that would easily hook up to their computer. It would easily record with OBS. It would easily reveal what they looked like to thousands of people, including their closest friends.

“You don’t have to you know.”

“I know Wilbur. I mean I want to.”

“Then why not?”

“What if they’re disappointed?” y/n poked at the box. “What if they thought my eyes would be a different shape and my nose would be smaller or my hair was a different length or color-“

“You don’t have to worry about that. You look like you. That’s all.”

“Yeah but they don’t know what me looks like. They just see the animated icon and they’re used to it.”

“You don’t have to start fast. You could do a little bit at a time. You could show, I don’t know, me, or Phil, or Niki first.”

y/n sighed and turned back to their monitors. One had discord pulled up, where they were in a call with Wilbur, one had a paused spotify playlist, and one had the instructions for installing the camera. “I could start with you.”

They could hear Wilbur clapping on the line. “Yeah! Let’s get it goin!”

The two kept talking as y/n installed the camera. Not before long it was ready to go.

“Okay. All you have to do is turn it on. Here I’ll do mine.” Wilbur’s face flickered to life on the front monitor.

“Okay. Just a second.” They looked at the mirror next to their desk and frowned. Maybe they could’ve done their hair a bit different. Or they could’ve worn a different shirt. Maybe some mascara? Would that be what Wilbur was expecting?

“Come on! I’m excited now.”

y/n nodded and pressed it on. They stared at the monitor, watching their face show up. Wilbur gasped a bit and stared at it. “What? Is it alright?”

“I owe Charlie money. He said your eyes would be a different color.” y/n felt their face flush and looked down at their keyboard. Wilbur laughed and smiled at them. “I can see you get embarrassed! Oh this is so cool!”

“I’m gonna turn this shit off.”

“No no! Keep it I like it. Here wait smile.” They smiled at him and he cheered again. “That is exactly how I thought you’d smile! Oh I’m so good at this.”

They both laughed together, but stopped when a ringing noise came through discord. Tommy and Tubbo were calling. “Wilbur, I-“

“Hey, it’s okay.” The ringing kept going. “If you’re not ready you can turn it off. If you are then we pick up. Which is it?”

y/n paused, holding their breath, then picked up the call. Everyone’s icons came onto the screen, then they all slowly turned the cameras on.

“Sorry didn’t realize we’d have- wait who’s that.” Tubbo moved closer to his screen, as If studying what he was looking at.

“Is that y/n?” Tommy stared wide-eyed as they nodded. He began cheering as did Tubbo. “FUCK YEAH! FUCKING POGGERS- sorry mum. What-“

Tommy walked off from his chair and y/n laughed at him. They looked up at Tubbo and saw him smiling. “What?”

“That’s not how I thought you’d look at all! Does anyone else know?”

“No just you three. I had just showed Wilbur when you two showed up.”

“We should show Philza! Or Niki! She would love to see this.”

“y/n doesn’t have to show anyone they don’t want to.” Wilbur’s voice was cautionary, but they just shrugged.

“Maybe it would be alright. We should start with Niki.”

“Yeahhhhh!!” Tommy cheered as Wilbur went to ring her. It only rang a few times before Niki joined. She turned her camera on and began talking about something or other, but paused and looked back at discord.

“Who’s on y/n’s account?”

“I am.”

“Oh. Oh! y/n......” She dragged out the name as she stared on. “Awe, you’re cute! I love it.”

“Right? I wasn’t expecting it but look!” Wilbur gestures to his screen with an exaggerated smile.

“Philza’s next right? Let’s get him on!”Tommy seemed overly enthusiastic for the reveal to the group father figure, but y/n was excited too.

“Do it! I wanna know what he thinks.”

It rang for about a minute before Philza answered. He didn’t turn on his camera though. He sat there in silence.

“Phil? You there?” Tommy leaned in closer to the camera.

“y/n? Is that what y/n looks like?”

“Hey Phil!”

“Oh my god! Wait can I show Kristin?”

“Of course!”

He called his wife into the room and everyone heard her gasp. “Oh you’re so pretty y/n.”

“Philza I’m going to steal your wife.”

“Okay that’s enough.” Kristen chuckled as Philza took the headset back. “Maybe I don’t get divorced today.”

The group laughed and fell into a comfortable silence. y/n wasn’t sure what to do. “It’s weird being able to like. Smile at you guys and stuff.”

“I’m sure you’ll get used to it. It’s like face time. You can leave it on when you play games or you’re streaming, and only we can see if it help you get adjusted.”

“Yeah!!! You get used to us you get used to everyone.” y/n laughed at tubbo’s excitement.

Tommy rubbed his hands together. “Who we showing next? Charlie?”

y/n tried to keep her composure but still felt her face fall a bit. The idea of showing Charlie was terrifying. Probably more so than showing her audience. Charlie had no idea what they looked like, but they knew what Charlie looked like. They knew his laugh and his smile and that they absolutely adored it. But if Charlie saw what they looked like? What their smile looked like and their laugh? Their eyes and their nose and everything else, would he like it? Would he treat them the same?

“y/n?” They snapped their head up at Wilbur’s voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yep!” They forced a fake smile and Wilbur frowned.

“Is there a problem with showing Charlie?”

They didn’t want to talk about this in front of everyone. Having a crush on Charlie was one thing. They’d had feelings for him for a long time now. But they hadn’t admitted to it. Ever. “I think I’m alright with just you guys for now.”

“That sucks. He just asked to call.” Tommy was glancing away at other monitors.

y/n stared blankly at the computer in front of themself. “You guys go ahead I think I’m gonna go.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll come back on in a bit and play. I just need to do a few things.”

Wilbur furrowed his brow. “Alright. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

y/n nodded and their face disappeared from the screen. It was quickly replaced by Charlie’s.

“Hey goofy gamers what’s up?” He smiled as he turned on his face cam, but was only met by a crowd of confused or disappointed looking people.

“y/n was on just now.”

“What they were?” Charlie sat up quickly and smoothed his hair down, blushing horribly. “I- are they coming back or-? What were you-? Wait, why-?”

“She bought a camera and did a face reveal for us.” Wilbur fiddled with a pen between his fingers.

“Oh that’s so cool! Tell me what they look like! Are they pretty? Wait, are you allowed to tell me? Did I win my bet?”

“You won your bet. Charlie I think they’re afraid to show you.”

“Why? I’m gonna love them no matter what it is.” Everyone froze as the gears clicked in Charlie’s head. Tommy and Tubbo, the children the are, did a terrible job at trying to not laugh at Charlie. “Love it! Their face! I bet it looks great I’ll love their face! Wait that’s just as-“

“You have crush! You have a crush!” Tommy started yelling as Charlie tried to gesture at him to shut up. “You love y/n! I’m gonna tell them!”

“Listen I will fly across this goddamn ocean and kill you-“

“I think it’s cute.” Phil tried to speak up over the sound of the children.

“Me too! If anything they like you too.”

Charlie paused and stared at the monitor, his face growing redder by the second. “They do?”

Wilbur nodded. “Charlie, trust me they do.”

He smiled to himself. “Uh. We should- uhm. Minecraft gamer time.”

“Charlie? Are you-“

“Processing.” He cut Wilbur short. “Planning. Proceeding. Gamer.”

“Gamer.” Tommy echoed the flustered boy.

“Gamer.” Charlie booted up the Minecraft world and examined his wooden house. He bounced his game character over to y/n’s house. When they had joined the game they had picked to be a shulk, so they lived in a dug out home near the Pube.

Charlie’s character ran into the cave home. It was quite lovely for what it was; wooden floors with support beams and plants everywhere. There were pots on the floors and on the shelves and vines from the ceiling. As he looked around the room he felt the gears clicking in his head. Knowing exactly what to do.

A few hours later, y/n signed back into discord. They could see a few people being active in solo vc’s, including Charlie. They did their best to ignore it, simply moving on to open Mojang. They logged themself into the Origins SMP server and checked around where they were. They had last logged off in Wilbur’s house, so they were very ready to move around when they got a set of private messages from Charlie.

Are you streaming?

y/n didn’t hesitate in saying no. It was an honest response. They had only logged on today in the hopes of grinding towards gathering ores and other basic needs. But if Charlie needed something, who were they to say no?

Can you meet me at your house?

y/n responded and went on their way towards the familiar cave. It wasn’t a long walk. They were there soon and were greeted by a closed door and a sign telling them to join Charlie’s VC.

“Hello? Charlie?”

Looking over at discord, they watched as Charlie’s camera turned on. He was sitting in his streaming room wearing a blue button-down shirt with short sleeves. “Hey, uhm, so, I wanted to say something before you go in your house.”

“If I go in will you be there?”

“Well yeah but-“ y/n opened the door and gasped. The entirety of their floor was made into grass and there were flowers blooming everywhere. Every single floor block had been made grass, actually.

“Charlie, how did you do this?”

“Well, bonemeal, and some Ranboo help.”

“Charlie, it’s gorgeous. Aww, and the flowers…” They just now noticed that most of the flowers in the room were their favorite - blue cornflowers.

“Yeah! I just,” Charlie took a deep breath. “I wanted to say that I know you don’t think I want to see you or that I wouldn’t like what I see, but I know that I would feel the same way about you as I did this morning, or yesterday, or four months ago. Because it’s you, and I’ll always feel the way I feel about you. But, until you feel comfortable, I’ll be here. waiting.”

They sighed, making sure their camera was plugged in before they turned it on. “Charlie, this is the sweetest thing.”

“Oh fuck.”

The two of them seemed to freeze. Charlie looked mortified, his face pink as can be, while y/n looked incredibly confused. “I’m sorry, what-?”

“No no no you’re just really pretty.” The words spilled from Charlie’s mouth faster than they’d ever been. “Like gorgeous. Top tier. 10/10. On God. Have I told you I’m in love with you-? Your face! In love with your face! Please tell me this is going well.”

y/n giggled. “So you’re in love with me now?”

Charlie sputtered, stumbling over his words. “No-! Maybe, I- that’s not what I meant-“

“Charlie it’s okay.”

He paused, pointing at his own chest. “You? Me you? You do? Me?” y/n nodded and watched as Charlie threw himself backwards cheering. “SHIT-“

“Charlie?”

“Yes! Yes I’m here I’m here for all of this. Oh my god I’m so happy.” y/n watched Charlie’s Minecraft character dance around and jump. “Oh my god. Oh my god! Wait does this mean I can meet you now? If I meet you can I kiss you? Please?”

“When I meet you, you can kiss me all you want.”

“When? When!” They watched Charlie’s camera as he got up and danced around. He stopped and dashed back to the camera, getting absurdly close. “I love you. I can’t wait for when.”

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Fantasy Merchant Punz 'correct' quotes

I like this au a definitely normal amount. I have the normal amount of brainrot for this au. Please believe me.

---------------

Tommy: Hello! I’m the chosen one! I would like to have all your potions in stock!

Punz: ...You’re 17

Tommy: Yeah so?

Punz: ...Right so that’ll be approximately 500000 gold. Pay up

--------------

Punz, talking to a customer: And this is a potion of invisibility. Great for you to hide from others or get out of situations in a pinch.

Dream, as he is attacked by Tommy’s Team: Punz! Punz let me in! I know you can hear me!

Punz, closing the blinds: Of course you can take a speed potion. It’ll be good when getting away fast and you can take your enemies off guard.

Dream: FUCK YOU PUNZ!

--------------

Bad: Hello! Would you like to go and join the Eggpire? We have cookies and you’ll definitely not go and get mind controlled!

Punz: Please go away, you’re scaring the customers

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Techno: Punz where do you even get these things? This is from the Antarctic Empire and that went and fell thousands of years ago. All items of it were destroyed from what I know

Punz, who is pretty sure his ancestor lived there at some point: ...Time travel

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Punz, nervously looking at the box: Hey buddy. So today I went and scammed a few people and met this guy who is apparently the chosen one. He’s 17 though so I kind of doubt it. Though that is something the church would do...What do you think?

The Box: *ominous humming sounds

Punz, lighting as many candles as possible and getting the Prime symbol: You know what? Yeah that sounds about right

-------------

Cornelius, still in the box and listening to Punz: I haven’t met Punz in person and I’m pretty sure he’s terrified of us but if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in the world and then myself

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*5 months before Dream’s uprising

Punz: You know, actually fuck the church. It’s shit in my opinion. I know that it’s supposed to be there and that it’s supposed to be a major part of this country but not everyone follows Church Prime! I mean I don’t! The Church shouldn’t be in such a high state of power when not everyone follows it! They’re soon going to use that power and just force everyone into their religion!

Eret, in a bad disguise and already been considering taking away the church’s power: True true. Now then, can you please tell me more about your views on the Church?

Punz: Oh you’re going to be in here for a while because I have so many opinions on this.

------------

*4 months and two weeks before Dream’s uprising

Ant: Hey Punz, congrats on talking to the King last week! Heard you talked about how the Church shouldn’t have power. Pretty bold if I say so myself!

Punz, who has been oblivious this whole time: I TALKED TO THE KING!????

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Quackity: God! Punz, they’re so handsome! Both of them are strong and handsome and I can’t compare to them! I just want to go and hold both of their hands and tell them that I love them but they probably don’t think the same way :(

Punz, who has listened to Karl and Sapnap rant about their love issues as well: Oh trust me...I’m pretty sure they do

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Wilbur: Okay we’re trapped by Eggpire and that’s fine. That’s fine. That’s absolutely fine. We just need a plan. We just need a- Wait PUNZ!?

Punz, in a bad disguise and planning on blowing up the Eggpire a little because they scaring the customers: No it’s...Spunz...

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Charlie Slimecicle: Punz, we are both definetely human beings with many bones. Look! I have a skull in my head just like you do!

Punz: A bit concerned where you actually got that skull but yeah. We are humans and have bones Charlie

--------------

Punz: How the heck did my ancestor become the hero in the first place? Like I know maybe they were a different person from before but still, we have so much treasure and I’m pretty sure an actual hero would deny all of this or something.

Purpled: Well they’re dead so we’ll just never know.

Punz: Yeah…

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Punz’s ancestor: Foolish, Cornelius, I fucked up. I accidentally became the chosen one after I stole this sword from this asshole who owes me money. Now I have to defeat the weird Crimson monster that has been terrorizing the lands for a bit.

Cornelius and Foolish:

Foolish: Okay you know what? Let’s just. Have some tea first and then we can freak out okay?

Cornelius: How the fuck did you become the chosen one? You went and scammed several people last week and you did it with no remorse

Punz’s Ancestor: Hey I’m a good person!

Cornelius: Last week you met my child, Robin, said Ew, a child, and then went and told me you would drop-kick him without any hesitation.

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Dream: So you finally arrive- What the hell are you wearing

Punz, in all of his most overpowered equipment and looking like a fashion disaster: It’s my ass kicking outfit bitch!

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Wilbur: Hahahahaha. Hey Punz did you know that I fucked a mermaid? It was amazing and we actually fell in love with each other. We actually had this fox child named Fundy but she died before he could see her. Anyways he aged fast so he’s like about in his 20s now and he actually ran away a bit while back and I miss him greatly. Also he’s working in the rebellion and I really want to say that I’m proud of him but I don’t know how. Fun fact: did you know that technically he’s Antarctic Empire royalty because my ancestors were the first rulers of the Antarctic Empire? Crazy isn’t it? Anyways, give me all your TNT. I’m about to blow up the capital.

Punz:

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Karl: Hey! I just found out a honk ton of information about the Red Masquerade! Apparently someone named Billiam went and invited guests over and then lured them to a room where he went and-

Punz: Wrong building Karl.

Karl: Oh I know, I just want to talk to you!

Punz, internally crying tears of joy: O- Oh. That’s nice. So what about the Red Masquerade again?

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Punz, locking his doors as he sees the Eggpire surrounding his shop: You know maybe if I just go and ignore them then they’ll leave. It’s not my problem and it will never be-

Foolish: Uh...Punz! Get your weird sword and armor out or else the property value is going to go down!

Purpled: Give me back my sword you weird Void Demon!

Punz, getting all his overpowered equipment: You know what? I’m going out there

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Punz: I’m pretty sure the Church is just now plucking children from their homes. This can’t be legal. Child soldiers are illegal and I’m surprised no one pointed that out.

Wilbur: Oh it is. They just have too much power and Dream isn’t really doing anything so…

Punz: ...Hey want to go and blow up the main base of Church Prime?