#owl quotable moments

[owlquotablemoments]

[literaphobe]

I don’t think I can pick between the horse, parrot, or axolotl one of which is my favorite. They’re all so good.

the ‘minecraft, but my friend is a _______’ series rated according to how much i like them:

minecraft, but my friend is a dog:

dog!dream flip flopped between :D and >:( every 5 seconds n it was beautiful to watch

one second he’s cuddling w a minecraft puppy and going ‘baby 🥺’ the next moment he is viciously attacking george n attempting to murder him in frustration from how much damage he took because of george’s accidental hits. next moment he is sheepishly apologizing because george made him sit down and won’t let him back up until he behaved. and in the moment after that he tells george if i were ur actual dog i would have bitten you by now :/ (??????????)

i love the game mechanics of george being able to freeze dream so that dream can’t move n the ability to teleport dream to george when he’s too far away. v cute. fun balance of dream needing george to save him but also him being able to help him and also be so silly and goofy.

shoutout to the ‘RIP dog Dream :(‘ subtitle when they failed the challenge. 10/10

minecraft, but my friend is a parrot:

dream going BAKAWK n repeating everything george said my beloved. my minecraft youtuber is so annoying 😍

him going ‘my strategy to survive? well im a parrot so :) if anyone comes i can just go BLRRRRRRR’ stole my entire heart

him pretending he needed to eat and letting george feed him only to go JK xD and fly away. so many things about dream were so endearing n funny in this video

i am a big fan of him calling a wolf a ‘woof’ and also his harry potter messenger owl bit. when he sang that i will lead the way parody about being a parrot…. that changed the landscape as we know it :( he is a silly little birdie :( my little wackadoodle :(

also funnily enough this is the only friend is a mob video where they actually beat the game LMAO 12/10

minecraft, but my friend is a horse:

i love the running bit of dream badly mimicking the animals he’s meant to play. also a big enjoyer of him seeing another mob and going omg MY BROTHER…. MY UNCLE…. MY FAMILY….. and like giving names to all the other horses. he is so adorable

dream riding a boat as a horse and singing about it….. he is a disney animal princess. i love him. he is Silly. he is Whimsical. he sang so much more and even reprised songs from the last video. he Galloped. he Yelled. he made Incomprehensible Noises

‘the skeleton could Not touch this 😌’ proceeding him singing can’t touch this as he juked mobs was truly something

‘it’s dinner time and ur papa bird give me the worms! BLURPBLURBLURPBLURVBLURPVLUR’ changed me as a person

shoutout to ‘🎶we’re going on a trip my enderman friend, we’re going to the end, me and my enderman friend :D🎶’ my little parody song writer <3

idk why dream was so quotable but big love for him saying ‘i’m not a communist it’s not OUR food :/ sharing is caring but i don’t CARE >:(‘

george hitting an mlg horse on dream n them joking about how dream experienced what the horse in manhunt experienced n how much his back hurt was. JDJSJDJDJ

when they did risky horse parkour as part of their ‘victory lap’ and george told dream ‘i want you to get the last hit 🥺’ only for horse!dream to DIE trying and george stared in disbelief before killing the dragon w one axe hit….. a masterpiece. 15/10

minecraft, but my friend is an axolotl:

im sorry but george using facecam in this video really boosts the experience. they r getting SO many points for this alone

dream popping up going AHHH :D is SO cute but george thinking dream was green is fucking HILARIOUS. the fact that he didn’t even KNOW throughout the whole editing process because he BEGGED dream to edit it but he said no. so neither of them knew until the video was posted

dream finding other axolotls and going my brothers 🥺 my sisters 🥺 my uncle 🥺 why does he always find his uncle. why is he so cute

‘you’ll never find me >:) [gets found instantly] STOP :(‘ hits so hard

‘you need to Protect me :)’ completely destroyed me :( im trying so hard not to quote the whole video. im very in love w this video

every time they found a glow squid…. dream’s excitement…. him not wanting to kill it at first…. ‘it INKED 🥺’

dream’s whole ‘omg there’s DIAMONDS… oh nvm that’s not diamonds. it’s the glow thingy. There’s Iron!! there’s a creeper. get the creeper. i need food. im on one heart. i need food!!’ journey that led to george calling him Bad and him saying Take It Back :( was everything to me

the clown music playing. them finding actual diamonds and dream falling into the water and getting attacked and crying for george to save him as he escaped into a tiny Hole was so incredibly BABY :( why was he so baby this whole video :( everything he said was chock full of 🥺🥺🥺

him finding out he could only eat fish and not meat :( him going no 🥺 yeah 🥺 yum 🥺

his silly AXOLOTL SONG :( followed by him taking damage from lack of water n them SCREAMING DJDJS every time george scolded him for hitting mobs and had to save him and dream was all thank you… THANK YOU :( please why did i think it was a good idea to watch this. why is it so endearing

george nagging dream to be careful in the fortress as he went ‘im exploring! im exploring! :D HOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO’

dream being a silly little navigator who very clearly didn’t know where he was going as george complained n he insisted repeatedly that george follow him…. <3333

‘look just tell me that i’m good :( tell me i did a good job :(‘ —> them going back to the overworld n him saying ‘just give it to me raw’ —> ‘what’d you say you said u were gonna say something :/‘ ‘you… you did good dream’ ‘yay :D’ i am on the floor. please i cannot take this anymore

dream going im stuck in a pool 😔 and george teasing him about needing help before saving him… them racing w george in a boat and dream swimming as an axolotl…

dream punching him into the end and being so excited to beat the game only for the video to end super abruptly because dream fell 😍 JDJSJDJ 48283828372737/10

[disappearinginq]

Top 5 films?

Ooo. Hmm. None of these are masterpieces, but you know what? Who cares. 

1. The Black Stallion. I didn’t even know there were spoken lines in it until 10 years ago - apparently I blanked out any and all talking in favor of “oooooooo, PONY.”

2. Robin Hood Prince of Thieves - I can recite every line of this, word for word, line for line, and I even accidentally wound up finding the spot in the river where Robin and Little John get into their first fight while on a road trip through England. 

3. The Rock. Every line spoken is a quotable moment. Every line.  “Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.” “Carla was the prom queen.”

or  “Dude, you just fucked up your Ferrari!” “It’s not mine. And neither is this!” ::shoves kid off motorcycle and drives off 

4. Sword in the Stone. I think I learned to emote based on watching Archimedes the Owl in this when I was like...3. 

5. Night of the Hunter, an old black and white movie that my friend and I caught the middle to the end of one night during a sleepover. Two kids are pursued by a homicidal preacher hellbent on getting them back so the boy can tell him where his dad (executed in the beginning) hid the $20,000 he stole from the bank. At this point, the Preacher has killed their mother along with several other people, and is now chasing them down river as they travel along in their stolen boat, and him on horseback. It’s an older movie, but it’s still probably one of the scarier films I’ve seen and it has SO MUCH SYMBOLISM. SO MUCH CARE AND DEVOTION TO THE SCENES. My roommate and I would sit up discussing the filmography of it for hours in college. 

[obtusemedia]

The best songs of the 2010s: #75-51

#75: “The Only Thing” by Sufjan Stevens (2015)

It was tough to pick a single song from Sufjan Stevens’ masterpiece, Carrie and Lowell, for this list. The album, about his dead mother, is consistently beautiful and tragic throughout.

But “The Only Thing” has the most devastating line of the whole album, and possibly the whole decade, delivered in a wobbly falsetto: “Should I tear my eyes out now?/Everything I see returns to you somehow.” Case closed. Now please excuse me while I cry for the rest of the day.

#74: “Best Song Ever” by One Direction (2013)

If you can’t appreciate this slice of pop-rock perfection that shamelessly rips off The Who, I’m not sure we can be friends.

“Best Song Ever” still sounds as the pinnacle of One Direction’s career, with its fizzy arena-rock chorus and adorable lyrics about that one special night with a mysterious woman, never to be seen again. The Millennial Whoops are plentiful, and they are irresistible.

Yes, “Best Song Ever” is a corny boy band song. But A) it’s the best possible version of a corny boy band song. And B) boy bands are wonderful. Just embrace the cheese.

(Also, One Direction was the greatest boy band of all time. Don’t fight me on this.)

#73: “Pray For Rain” by Pure Bathing Culture (2015)

Portland shoegaze duo Pure Bathing Culture delivered the closest approximation to a prime Cocteau Twins single since the early ‘90s.

It’s got the icy synths and shoegaze guitars to throw any listener into a hypnotic groove. The secret ingredient that makes “Pray For Rain” stand out, however, is the thumping, snare-heavy beat that invokes both military drum lines and trip-hop. It adds a propulsion to the otherwise dreamy track, creating a dissonant yet incredible experience.

#72: “Not” by Big Thief (2019)

Unlike the hushed folksy whispers of Big Thief’s first 2019 album, “Not” is a furious, noisy firebomb of an indie rock jam. Lead singer Adrianne Lenker’s warble is pushed to its limits, as her vocals crack and strain while the song’s tension (and noise level) slowly ratchets up in the song’s first half. 

Then, the pent-up energy is finally released for an explosive, discordant two-and-a-half minute guitar solo. It’s pure chaos and anger distilled into one instrument, and the greatest moment so far of Big Thief’s promising career.

#71: “Dog Years” by Maggie Rogers (2016)

The strength of Maryland indie-pop prodigy Maggie Rogers’ first few singles is how in tune with nature she sounded. I’ve dubbed it “REI-pop.”

And none of her songs are more reminiscent of a high-end outdoors store than “Dog Years” — and yes, that’s a compliment. “Dog Years” incorporates noises like wind chimes and owl hoots to its soulful synthpop production for a unique flavor. Rogers delivers on the vocal end with a stunning performance reminiscent of blue-eyed soul greats like Daryl Hall.

It’s a bummer that mainstream indie pop nowadays is going to mostly sound like Jeep ads. But “Dog Years” proves great art can still be created in that avenue.

#70: “The House That Heaven Built” by Japandroids (2012)

With “The House That Heaven Built,” Vancouver, BC indie rockers Japandroids made a perfect road trip anthem. The chugging guitars shoot to the sky, the drumming is furious, and the fist-pumping “OH OH OHs” are plentiful.

“House” is like a Bruce Springsteen collaboration with The Replacements: righteous fury backed by raucous, bar-friendly punk-rock. When lead singer/guitarist Brian King informs the listener that if “Anything try to slow you down/Tell em all to go to hell,” it’s something anyone can feel in their bones.

#69: “Adorn” by Miguel (2012)

“Adorn” is dangerously smooth. The chillwave-meets-80s-R&B production gets you halfway there, but Miguel’s buttery vocals are the main attraction here. From his endearing ad-libs (“whoap!”) to his effortless vocal runs on the gorgeous melody, he sounds like a seasoned pro.

I’m going to give y’all a hot take — “Adorn” is the Millennial “Sexual Healing.” It strikes that same nocturnal, sexy flair, and Miguel is working it just as hard as Marvin Gaye did. It’s too bad Miguel never was quite able to make something quite as impressive as “Adorn” again, but that single (and its accompanying, phenomenal Kaleidoscope Dream record) will cement him as a ‘10s R&B icon.

#68: “The World’s Best American Band” by White Reaper (2017)

White Reaper never claimed to be the world’s best band. Nope — they want to be the world’s best American band. So it’s only fitting that Louisville’s finest dirtbags cooked up a warm slice of some of the greasiest, sleaziest and most proudly stupid capital-R RAWK in years.

This is the kind of music Van Halen would’ve made if they were a low-rent Millennial indie band. This is the kind of music Gardner Minshew probably listens to. And it’s glorious.

#67: “I Just Had Sex” by The Lonely Island feat. Akon (2010)

This list isn’t really trying to measure importance or anything like that. It’s basically just the songs that made me the happiest this decade. And there are few songs that make me smile as much as The Lonely Island’s pathetically hilarious “I Just Had Sex.”

There’s so many golden moments here, from “I called my parents right after I was done!” to “The best 30 seconds of my life!” and “I think she might have been a racist?” The comedy trio was really on their A-game.

But what makes “I Just Had Sex” more than just a goof is that it’s also catchy as hell. That Akon chorus is legitimately one of the best pop hooks of the decade. What made The Lonely Island so brilliant in their turn-of-the-decade peak is their ability to make songs that often surpassed the actual pop hits they emulated, while not sacrificing hilarious lyrics.

(Also, shoutout to “Jack Sparrow” and the legitimately impressive baseball-themed “Let’s Bash,” both of which could’ve also snuck onto this list.)

#66: “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry” by Run The Jewels (2014)

Sometimes, you turn to hip-hop for inspiring messages and thoughtful, provocative lyrics (something Run The Jewels has certainly delivered on with tracks like “Early”).

But sometimes you just want an aggro banger that makes you want to smash through a brick wall like the Kool-Aid Man. That’s what “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry” brings to the table, thanks to its heavy helping of fuck-everyone defiance and El-P’s trademark apocalyptic, frantic production.

#65: “Your Best American Girl” by Mitski (2016)

In her signature song, “Your Best American Girl,” Mitski took the thrashing ‘90s guitars and epic chorus of Smashing Pumpkins’ “Today” and turned it into a conversation about race, insecurity and love.

Mitski, who is Japanese-American, vividly describes the angst of trying to fit the lily-white image of the “American Girl” for a boy. The song begins with insecurity — “Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me/But I do, I think I do” — and then flips that statement into a proud stand for her roots: “But I do, I finally do.” It’s a powerful declaration, fitting of one of the decade’s most powerful rock anthems.

#64: “A Real Hero” by College and Electric Youth (2010)

Consider this spot a placeholder for all the best songs from the 2010′s best soundtrack: “Drive.”

Out of that soundtrack’s three stand-out singles, “A Real Hero” is the best by a hair. College’s slick, pulsing production is a perfect contrast to Bronwyn Griffin’s whispered, ghostly vocals. It’s the perfect love theme for an aggressively hipster-y movie where Ryan Gosling plays a dude in a gold satin jacket, drives around L.A. silently, and crushes a guy’s head in an elevator.

But shout out to the other two classics on Drive, “Nightcall” and “Under Your Spell,” which are also musts while driving around at night feeling moody.

#63: “Birthday Song” by 2 Chainz feat. Kanye West (2012)

“Birthday Song” is gloriously stupid. It’s the kind of song you laugh at the first time you hear it, but after a few more listens, you’re rapping along with 2 Chainz and Kanye.

And it’s hard not to rap along when there’s this many quotable lines: “SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER BIG BOOTY.” “I’M IN THE KITCHEN. YAMS EVERYWHERE!!” “Last birthday, she got you a new sweater/Put it on, give her a kiss, and tell her, ‘DO BETTER.’” And of course, the most iconic line of them all: “All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe.”

“Birthday Song” is so ridiculous that it’s only a couple jokes removed from a Lonely Island single. And that’s what makes it so fun.

#62: “Every Day’s the Weekend” by Alex Lahey (2017)

Aussie indie rocker Alex Lahey made the best Blink-182 song of the decade with “Every Day’s the Weekend.” It’s got a soaring chorus with the all-important “WHOA OHs,” a chugging guitar riff, and it’s catchy as hell.

Just toss in a lackadaisical attitude and a “I Gotta Feeling”-style days-of-the-week chant and you’ve got a pop-punk classic.

#61: “Take a Walk” by Passion Pit (2012)

While MGMT burned their cultural capital by making zoinked-out psych rock (which was pretty solid!), their peers Passion Pit doubled down on their signature synthpop sound in the early ‘10s. Their 2012 album, Gossamer, is one of the all-time great albums with a happy, bouncy sound but crushingly dark lyrics. So naturally, its first single is a perky pop tune about financial struggles!

“Take a Walk” is so catchy and uplifting musically — just try getting that iconic synth riff out of your head — that Michael Angelakos’ lyrics about the Great Recession seem out of place at first. But it gels anyways. The uplifting music just emphasizes the dire situation Angelakos and his then-wife found themselves in, and it makes the soaring synth riff read as more melancholy than optimistic.

#60: “Gretel” by (Sandy) Alex G (2019)

"Gretel” is like an indie-folk song that went to the Upside Down. All the requisite parts are there — gently strummed guitar, lyrics with a man-of-the-people feel, humbly Middle American vocals — but it feels warped and twisted.

The easiest way to describe it is like if a typical folk-pop song CD was left in the sun for a solid week or so, allowing it to melt. And then you tried listening to it. It would sound positively spooky. Yet through the oddball production and eerie vibe, Alex G’s defiant chorus still shines through. A statement like “Good people gotta fight to exist” somehow sounds more powerful in a bizzaro song like this.

#59: “Downtown” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Eric Nally, Grandmaster Kaz, Melle Mel and Kool Moe Dee (2015)

Macklemore might have been the 2010′s most unfairly hated artist. Yes, he’s corny. Yes, Kendrick should’ve won those Grammys instead. But the dude was fun, inventive and a unique voice in hip-hop at the time.

“Downtown” is a prime example of Mack’s talent. Or at least, his knack for assembling a fantastic supporting crew. Old-school rappers Grandmaster Kaz, Melle Mel and Kool Moe Dee deliver some forceful interludes, and Eric Nally and his wildman vocals give “Downtown” a killer, Queen-esque chorus. And of course, producer Ryan Lewis helps sell the song, with a constantly-switching beat that ranges from ‘70s funk to bombastic arena rock. Even Seattle legend Ken Griffey Jr. makes a cameo in the Spokane-filmed video!

In a late-’10s hip-hop scene filled with mopey sad white boys like Post Malone and NF, Macklemore’s goofy vibe and dad jokes are sorely missed.

#58: “Flesh Without Blood” by Grimes (2015)

In a decade filled with wonderful alt-pop weirdos, Grimes might have been the weirdest. One of her standout songs, “Kill v. Maim,” is about Michael Corleone from The Godfather Pt. II, but if he was a time-traveling, gender-switching vampire (yes, really).

“Flesh Without Blood” is comparatively normcore, but it’s still Grimes’ best slice of bonkers pop magic. Written from the perspective of a fan angry that she sold out, the track rides a surf-rock guitar groove into the oblivion. Grimes’ squeaky vocals are almost taunting in tone, but the hooks are so massive and the production is so fresh that I doubt listeners mind.

#57: “Slide” by Calvin Harris feat. Frank Ocean and Migos (2017)

Arguably the biggest name in cheeseball EDM took a shockingly sharp pivot into silky-smooth funk with “Slide.” And it worked! It worked weirdly well!

Of course, it helps that Calvin Harris has always had impeccable taste in guest vocalists, from Florence Welch to Haim. And by snagging once-in-a-generation talent Frank Ocean (and the fun, if not legendary, Migos) for “Slide,” he possibly pulled his greatest coup yet.

...well actually, no. His best song will always be the gloriously trashy and very British “Dance Wiv Me” with grime legend Dizzee Rascal. But the slick tropical grooves of “Slide” are a worthy contender.

#56: “I Belong in Your Arms” by Chairlift (2012)

I could’ve sworn this was in an old John Hughes movie. The wintry synths and retro-chic vibe of “I Belong in Your Arms” certainly would’ve fit snugly into the Pretty In Pink soundtrack, but no — Chairlift’s best single came out this decade.

“I Belong in Your Arms” is stunning in its atmospheric beauty. Singer Caroline Polachek’s vocals are almost Elizabeth Fraser-esque, drifting over the waves of keyboards while still packing a heavy punch on the chorus. And the song’s burst of energy doesn’t feel like a temporary sugar rush — it feels like the real thing.

#55: “Make Me Feel” by Janelle Monaé (2018)

“Make Me Feel” is unabashedly a Prince homage. And if anyone in modern music could successfully replicate the Purple One, it’s Janelle Monaé.

The genre-blurring, impossibly funky “Make Me Feel” immediately grabbed me upon release, with its sharp guitar edges, soft-loud-soft production and sticky hook. But Monaé’s vocal performance is what truly makes the track pop. She clearly had the time of her life here, switching on a dime from smooth and sultry to giddy yelps. If there’s a perfect Janelle Monaé song cooked up in a lab somewhere, it’s probably nearly identical to this.

#54: “Some Nights” by fun. (2012)

Jack Antonoff has always excelled as the second-fiddle. Whether that’s in being the less-famous person in his former relationship with Lena Dunham or being the behind-the-scenes production wizard for megastars like Taylor Swift and Lorde, he works best in the shadows (despite his solo side band, Bleachers, being pretty damn good).

And of course, the project that first brought Antonoff into the mainstream was his band fun., in which he was the lead guitarist and a songwriter. At the time when the band hit their brief apex in 2012, it seemed like frontman Nate Ruess, with his vocal acrobatics and theatrical style, would be most primed for solo fame, but that fizzled.

Eight years later, “Some Nights” stands as a testament that Antonoff (and the other two guys in fun.) can write an incredible arena rock anthem just as easily as a synthpop banger. The song turns a quarter-life crisis into a soaring epic that sounds like a glorious U2-Queen hybrid, with a drumline added on top. Despite cribbing its chorus from Simon and Garfunkel, “Some Nights” still holds its power.

#53: “The Less I Know The Better” by Tame Impala (2015)

There’s one thing that instantly hooks you into Tame Impala’s Instagram-filtered indie pop masterpiece: that bassline. It carries the whole song on its back.

Not to say the rest of “The Less I Know The Better” isn’t good — Kevin Parker’s jealousy-tinged lyrics are fairly relatable, the twinkling synths are nice, the melody is appropriately yearning. But that slap bass ropes all those elements together into a legitimately funky rock tune. If Tame Impala’s mediocre new singles had that bass, maybe they’d be less forgettable.

#52: “Shake It Out” by Florence + The Machine (2011)

Florence Welch might be the decade’s most underrated vocalist. Her voice has the power of a Mack truck, yet she can still convey subtlety when needed.

“Shake It Out” is not one of those subtle moments. It is arena-pop filtered through gospel; a song that sounds like it was meant for a cathedral. Welch describes battling her personal demons like they were literal demons. Couple her wailing with layers upon layers of organs and massive drums imported from the “In The Air Tonight” solo, and you’ve got a song too big to fail.

#51: “Young Blood” by The Naked and Famous (2010)

I really, really wanted to include more tunes from the golden era of radio-friendly indie pop, circa 2008-2012. But a lot of the best stuff — MGMT, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Phoenix — fell in the previous decade. And others are more nostalgic faves for me than actually great songs (sorry, Grouplove and Matt & Kim).

But The Naked and Famous absolutely still hold up. “Young Blood” still has the insanely high-pitched vocals and twinkly synths of that era, but the New Zealanders throw some distorted ‘90s guitars to create a unique sound. It’s like the Weezer writing a Passion Pit song (but way better than that would imply). Lead singer Alisa Xayalith’s piercing voice is an instrument all of its own, soaring across the synthesizers and guitars like a bolt of neon light.

“Young Blood” might be an early ‘10s time-capsule, but it has hooks for days and a somehow-still-fresh groove.

[kootenaygoon]

So,

I wondered if I was going to see a fight. 

It was the evening of the Nelson mayoral candidate forum at the Prestige Lakeside Resort, and there was tension in the air. This was the last campaign event before the election and people were getting ornery. I was covering the proceedings for the Nelson Star, circling the shadowy 200-person crowd with my camera, whipping out my phone to capture snippets of the audio. Onstage Deb Kozak, John Dooley and Pat Severyn were being interviewed by veteran broadcaster Glenn Hicks. In the front row sat Dooley’s wife Pat, and their son Sean, along with a row of ominous suited-up hockey players from the Nelson Leafs. Whenever Severyn said anything negative about Dooley they murmured and shouted out, rustling angrily. Kozak was flanked by the men, effectively acting as a buffer between them, while they took childish jabs at each other. Meanwhile she remained defiantly positive, keeping her answers constructive, showcasing an emotional maturity the other two couldn’t manage.

Hicks wasn’t letting her get away without a fight, though. Known as a bit of a provocateur, he’d warned the audience ahead of time that he was planning for things to get incendiary. He pressed Kozak on the timing of her announcement, how she’d waited until after Severyn’s entrance to throw her hat in the ring. It had been rumoured she had ambitions to run federally for “anyone but the Conservatives” before this, so why the change of heart? He asked about her endorsement from Sensible BC, calling her “marijuana chick”.

Deb smiled, bemused. “I think what Sensible BC saw in me is I have the ability to say `let’s have a conversation’. Our current laws don’t make sense and I know our police officers over the years have been very aware that our laws for simple possession don’t make sense,” she said.

“It’s pretty sad when our pot tourism is going south.”

That night I met Ed Thurman, standing at the back of the room, covering the event for an online publication called the Nelson Daily. He was in his 60s, but surprisingly spry, and peered out skeptically from behind a pair of round glasses that kind of made him look like a scowling owl. We’d written duelling profiles of all the council and mayoral candidates over the previous few weeks, and I was constantly checking to make sure my stories were successfully getting out before his, but we hadn’t yet connected in person. He was a strong writer, the manager of a local choir, and a well-respected figure in the community. I nodded in the direction of Dooley, who was stammering angrily about how Severyn had no experience, and asked if he’d ever seen him like that before. 

It was getting embarrassing. 

“Oh, anyone who’s been to a council meeting in the past few years has seen him like that at least once,” Ed said. “There was one meeting I was at where he was actually spitting with anger. He’s a hard-working mayor, but he definitely has a bit of a temper.”

“I think it might lose him the election,” I said.

Ed had an unreadable expression on his face, one I would come to know well. There was a bluntness, a directness to his observations. “You might be right about that.”

“You don’t think Severyn will win, though?”

He snorted. “Let’s hope not. I don’t want to think about what would happen if that idiot got into office. He’s embarrassing himself.”

Before heading down to the forum Calvin had given me careful, clear instructions: he wanted something around 1000 words, without a whiff of bias, that included an equal number of quotes for each candidate. He needed a photo for the front cover of the Star’s next issue, as well as some additional shots for Facebook and the website. Once it was over I was supposed to type it up and get it online within an hour. By this point I felt pretty confident that I understood the main concerns of the election, and I wanted to get beyond the personality game to the real issues at stake for the community: What were they planning to do about the affordable housing crisis? Who was the right person to shepherd the community towards a legal cannabis industry? Who was going to be proactive about providing services to the marginalized? Because Dooley had been in his role for over a decade it was clear he knew the right hands to shake, but it was also clear that he was disinterested in engaging with opposing views or divergent ideas. Glenn Hicks asked him to defend himself on charges that he didn’t allow for proper conversations during city council meetings, and his answer was telling.

“There are issues I’m very passionate about, and I won’t mask that. I think we’ve done an excellent job and I have the utmost respect for all the people at the table. But we have an agenda we have to move our way through, and that’s really important,” he said.

“I’m not going to let us get distracted every time someone disagrees with something.”

Severyn, however, claimed he’d been approached by one of the departing female councillors and that she’d told him her decision to leave was due to Dooley’s stubborn communication style. He made a big show of it, shaking his head like it pained him to unearth this inconvenient truth. Though he wouldn’t say who it was, there were only three real possibilities—the fourth was sitting onstage with him. Positioning himself as a benevolent saviour, he promised that he would encourage conversation and make sure everybody has a chance to speak.

“I want to change the leadership,” he said, to a smattering of applause. “I want to change the way the councillors are treated.”

Dooley emphasized the things he’d accomplished over the years, including introducing new revenue streams, investing in broadband infrastructure and moving forward with the Stores to Shores project. He told the audience there was $10 million in infrastructure funding just sitting there, waiting to grabbed, and he was the one best suited to do so. Kozak answered back that she was the one better suited to the task. She paused for a moment, gazing confidently out at the audience, and took a long breath.

“The next four years are going to be critical. We’ve been resting on our laurels and we’re considered quite smug. I think what we’ve been hearing is we’re ready for an evolution,” she said. 

“I’ve been working hard to make relationships for the last nine years regionally, provincially and federally. And if you elect me your mayor, I’m going to make sure those relationships pay off.”

Meanwhile, Severyn laughed off the idea he was unprepared for the role. “The mayor’s job has no real pre-requisites,” he said, noting that his 30 years of experience on the Nelson Police force had given him plenty of transferable skills, including a strength for building relationships. He vowed to be accessible to everyone in the community “from the bottom of the payroll scale all the way to the top.”

“I’m not a career politician and I don’t plan to be a career politician. But I’ll empower council to do what’s right for the citizens. I’m not new to Nelson. I’m not new to this city at all,” he said. 

“I walked the beat for thirty years and I talked to every single person from panhandlers all the way up the chain. I’m ready for this.”

As I sat down to write, ten minutes after the event ended, for a moment I felt daunted by the task ahead of me. I was in the Star office alone, with the lights off, stressing over how to approach the article. Each piece I put out about the election resulted in a flood of e-mails and social media interactions, sometimes with corrections or accusations of inaccuracies. People were engaged. It was exciting, but it was also emotionally exhausting. Roles were evolving in the newsroom, and I continued to grapple with imposter syndrome as my time got siphoned away from arts stories and toward hard news. Calvin was throwing me into radical environments that I didn’t understand, then I had to turn around and prove myself to be the expert. 

There were hundreds of people in that room at the Prestige, so how come my version of the event was the one that would be saved for posterity? Just because I happened to have this job, at this time? Did I really deserve that sort of power? I clacked away at the keys, transcribing quotes and placing them on top of each other like un-deployed Lego blocks, my mind whispering you’re going to fuck this up, you’re going to fuck this up. I tried to remember the answers that landed, the quips that earned the most applause. 

The moment that kept replaying in my mind was Dooley interrupting Hicks. “Let me finish,” Dooley said, visibly upset. “Let me just finish, let me finish.” I couldn’t believe it. Hicks had essentially accused Dooley of not allowing other people to speak, and in his response he was doing exactly that. This wasn’t me putting some lefty slant on the piece, this was just a fact. A fact I was going to lead with. 

But could I get away with it? Would Calvin go for it?

“When I read the first three paragraphs I was almost ready to strangle you,” Calvin said, upon reading my filed story. I’d called him on my cell during my drive home. 

“You started with all that bully stuff with Dooley and I thought it was going to be a total hit piece, but I think you nailed it. Great quotes, nice balance, that’s exactly what I wanted.”

“What’d you think of the stuff Severyn was saying?”

“Great stuff, great stuff. I mean, the guy’s a clown but he’s definitely quotable.”

“And Deb came off good, man. She was calm, collected, the audience was loving her.”

Calvin snorted. “Dooley’s still going to take it, though.”

“You think?”

The Kootenay Goon

[treacheuryouswhore]

i was tagged by @asexualcas thanks b

1. Coke or Pepsi: orange fanta 2. Disney or Dreamworks: both 3. Coffee or Tea: coffee 4. Books or Movies: books 5. Windows or Mac: i have a chromebook 6. DC or Marvel: dc 7. Xbox or Playstation: playstation 8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: idk what either of these are but dragon age sounds dope and mass effect sounds like a disease was released into the population so imma choose dragon age 9. Night Owl or Early Rise: night owl, if it werent for my sleeping pills i would literally just not fall asleep and then pass out a couple days later from exhaustion 10. Cards or Chess: im actually pretty good at cards. idk how to play poker but i know a lot of other card games like gin, spoons, spades, etc 11. Chocolate or Vanilla: it depends what its in. like i prefer vanilla for cake and cupcakes but i like chocolate when it comes to brownies 12. Vans or Converse: i have adidas, pumas, and nikes 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: again, no idea what these mean 14. Fluff or Angst: im a sucker for some good angst as long as it gets resolved 15. Beach or Forest: beach. i love the water 16. Dogs or Cats: dogs. i used to have three when i lived with my mom and i miss two of them all the time. the third one is really close with her husband so i dont trust him one bit 17. Clear Skies or Rain: rain 18. Cooking or Eating Out: i like cooking 19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: spicy for sure 20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: i love halloween but imma go christmas on this one 21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? to control all four elements 23. Animation or Live Action: animation 24. Paragon or Renegade: ????????????????? 25. Baths or Showers: showers

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: im honestly not a huge fan of either but team cap 27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: both 28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes? If so, what are they: anything from the princess bride its my favorite movie and extremely quotable 29. YouTube or Netflix: netflix 30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: harry potter 31. When You Feel Accomplished: i dont really. anytime i start to a certain someone comes in and shits over everything ive done so it doesnt really last 32. Star Wars or Star Trek: star wars, ive never even seen star trek and im happy to go the rest of my life that way 33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: paperbacks because it hurts less when they fall on your face 34. Handwriting or Typing: typing, my brothers and i all have terrible handwriting 35. Velvet or Satin: satin 36. Video Games or Movies: movies

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? neither

38. Sunrise or sunset: sunset 39. What’s your favorite song? at the moment its may i have this dance by francis and the lights and chance the rapper 40. Horror Movies yes or no: yes 41. Long hair or short hair: short 42. Opera or Theatre: theater 43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? imma say the flash. id become bffs with cisco and iris 44: If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? calzones. or tacos, there are so many different kinds of tacos 45: Older guys or young guys? im only 18 so dating anyone younger than me would be a hard no 46: If you could have a night with any fictional character doing whatever you wanted … who? id spend the night eating candy and drinking with cisco and also probably try and talk to him about all the shit hes been through and have a much needed booze and candy fueled therapy session for the both of us 47: Singing or dancing? singing. i sing all the time. issa problem 48: No internet for the rest of your life or your favorite show/book/game/whatever has an end so terrible it’s only aired once and never spoken of again? thats what fanfiction is for, im choosing to keep the internet 49: Your favorite TV show gets cancelled before an actual end or the end is just totally crappy/horrible, and you’re distraught for the rest of your life. i gotta go cancelled before the actual end 50. A movie/book/TV show that changed your life. i dont actually watch it anymore but i met my best friend through supernatural so

this is really long so if you wanna do it knock yourselves out and tag me in it so i can see but im not gonna tag anyone

[funnythingshere0-blog]

Review: 'Christopher Robin' is the beautiful family film we need right now

New Post has been published on http://funnythingshere.xyz/review-christopher-robin-is-the-beautiful-family-film-we-need-right-now/

Review: 'Christopher Robin' is the beautiful family film we need right now

THE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD — In a summer full of superheroes, giant sharks, elaborate heists and impossible missions, we are due for a feel-good family film, and I’m so happy we have Pooh Bear.

“Christopher Robin” takes the beloved characters of Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Owl, Rabbit, Eeyore, Kanga and Roo and looks at what happened to them after their favorite little boy, Christopher Robin, grows up and moves on. The movie is equal parts touching and funny and has layers of beauty and intrigue that makes it one of my favorite family films in a while, at least since “Incredibles 2.”

Here are some things you should know about the delightful “Christopher Robin.”

I knew I would have some chuckles here and there, but I was surprised by how funny I found the film. Winnie the Pooh is laugh-out-loud funny, and Eeyore should start doing self-deprecating stand-up comedy.

The movie isn’t a laugh-a-minute affair, but it does have some sincerely funny moments with loads of quotable Pooh Bear lines.

My guess is you could have guessed this by the previews, but there are a fair amount of moments that will have you wondering what that salty discharge from your eyes is.

This is not a coming-of-age story, but rather a retreating-from-adulthood story. Watching Christopher’s journey from childhood to adulthood and then complacency to a loss of self and then a journey to find that self is a really fantastic and touching journey to watch.

Ewan McGregor plays the part of an adult Robin brilliantly. You can see the childlike wonder behind his eyes, but it’s buried by responsibility, stress and the reality of being a grown up.

I was wiping my eyes from joy, hurt and feeling things a little too close to home on multiple occasions.

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Marc Forster directed “Christopher Robin,” but you may remember him from other genre films like the James Bond flick “Quantum of Solace” and the Brad Pitt action/horror film “World War Z.” Here Forster uses his vast experience to create stunning visuals that oftentimes look more like a painting than a movie.

The moments when we are in the Hundred Acre Wood are exceptional and will make you want to pause the movie and take in the surroundings. You can almost smell the honeysuckle and feel the cool breeze every time we walk into the woods, and it makes us never want to leave.

There is nothing offensive in the film and, while it’s rated PG, it could have been G in my opinion. It’s very tame in regards to scary images, language or violence. But just because it’s kid-friendly doesn’t necessarily mean kids are going to like it.

Overall I think this is a great family film and I will watch it with my kids, but some of your younger ones may get a little bored at times. While I was entertained and entranced in the story from start to finish there are some slower more dramatic moments that may lose some younger audiences. But I think I’d say you’re good to take your kids and they’ll probably have a good time.

“Christopher Robin” is exactly the feel-good family movie I needed right now and makes for a family film that is poignant, touching, beautiful and funny.

“Christopher Robin” is rated PG for some action.

About the Author: John Clyde

John has grown up around movies and annoys friends and family with his movie facts and knowledge. He also has a passion for sports and pretty much anything awesome, and it just so happens, that these are the three things he writes about. Contact him on Twitter at @johnnypclyde.

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John Clyde

Source: https://www.ksl.com/article/46370501/review-christopher-robin-is-the-beautiful-family-film-we-need-right-now

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Netflix Japan Fills Shinjuku Station with Memorable Anime Quotes

  Around the world — but especially in Japan — Netflix has been working to promote its reputation as a source of streaming anime. Its latest ad campaign seeks to drum up memories of famous anime moments, via a billboard "hijacking" in Shunjuku.

  The new "Flashback" commercial brings together memorable lines from anime series run on Netflix Japan. Everything from classic to modern Gundam, from Ghost in the Shell to Aggretsuko, gets a look-in, with the quotable lines shown onscreen. As the campaign says, all it takes is a familiar line to bring back memories of your favorite series and characters.

    In addition to the commercial, Netflix will be "hijacking" the basement of Shinjuku Station with a mural of these memorable quotes. Take a flash photo on your smart device to reveal screencaps of those moments. Here's a "before and after" example:

    Posting your photo to Twitter will net you a free photo sticker to use on social media.

  The Netflix Japan "quote-jack" will be on display in Shinjuku Station from July 23-29.

  Source: Anime! Anime!

  -----

  Kara Dennison is responsible for multiple webcomics, and is half the creative team behind the OEL light novel series Owl's Flower. She blogs at karadennison.com and tweets @RubyCosmos. Her latest book, Black Archive #21 – Heaven Sent, is currently available from Obverse Books.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[dinoalexander]

The Semi-Quotable 2017 Part 4

I never had his problem with Livejournal. I’ve had several problems but never this... Part 4.

——

"Note to terrorists: During WWII, London endured this thing called 'The Blitz'. Google it. They will endure your petty stupidity. Note to Trump: During WWII, London endured this thing called 'The Blitz'. Google it. They will endure your petty stupidity. Keep calm and carry on." -Kevin

"When you scroll to find your name, don't see your name for a really long time, and wonder if you could have squeezed just a couple more fucks in there. Missed fucking opportunities!" -Laura

Jay: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian steak?"

Joe: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian ass!"

C: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian?"

"As soon as American Idol came to America, we were all fucked." -Jenna

"This isn't football, it's boy bands!" -Q

"To quote the great philosopher Cornell Haynes Jr., it's getting hot in herre." -C

"I'll always love UNC but Gonzaga destroyed Tokyo." -Austin

"Make chicken salad out of that chicken shit!" -Q

"If one more person adds me to LulaNotLemon group without asking me, I swear I am going to find every pair of leggings on this island and burn them in a huge bonfire at Bayview Park. #YouveBeenWarned" -Shannon

"Stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face. So I have two, maybe three days to live." -Q

"I got some antibiotics for the bug I've had for over a week. I think it's adorable that CVS colored the antibiotics green for St. Patrick's Day and they taste like mint. I think those lazy bastards just gave me a container of Tic Tacs." Klauss

"I used to date somebody with lazy eye, but she was seeing someone on the side." -Rammson

"Is that a thing? Because I just made it a thing." -Jordan

“What is the current bar for "most awkward human on the planet" in the Guinness Book of World Records? Cause I wouldn't mind getting something back for all my suffering.” -Christina

“You’re like a WetJet with a lab degree!” -Q, on cleaning up the ER doc’s messes

“Supporting my husband’s love for this awful team.” -Kyle

“THANKS FOR NOTHING, CRABTREE!” -Robin

"Had homey on some Globetrotter shit." -Jabari

"NBC: Where Every Night at 8 PM is Fuckin' Christmas." -Klauss

“Diane, it’s ‪Tuesday, August 1st‬ and I’ve stumbled upon quite a few mysteries here at Fashion Peaks. Tully the horse has been sent to the glue factory, The Ascension has a very peculiar taste in music, and my partner, Deputy Dango, has been abducted - possibly by extraterrestrials. That leaves me with two questions: One, who kidnapped Fandango? Two, why didn’t I just call you instead of record this?” – Tyler Breeze

“Wait, so that giraffe still hasn't given birth? Have we explored the possibility that the zookeeper just overfed her a few months ago and lied instead of admitting the mistake?” - Nedeff

“Just finished watching ‪Die Hard‬ for the first time (we can discuss later). ‪Die Hard‬ is 100% not a Christmas Movie. Just because it ends with Christmas Music doesn’t make it a Christmas Movie.” – Dan O’Toole with the most wrong hot take of 2017

“We're still gonna get near-daily articles trying to Understand The Le Pen Voter though right” @pattymo

“Of course any portrayal of a real-life figure is about so much more than physical resemblance, but come on guys: how did they NOT cast Christopher Plummer as J. Paul Getty in the first place?” – Richard Roeper

“Danny Ainge the only American who can outsmart a Russian.” – David Dennis Jr.

“The Yankees haven’t been in the playoffs in a while so I forgot how punchable Brett Gardner’s face is” – Brad Rutter

“HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” – Dougie Jones

“There’s no fucking way he sold 200 Streamdaddy’s” – Prez on IYH

“By far the most bizarre trivia fact about Dean Stockwell to me is that he’s a trained martial artist.” – Allison Pregler

“Don’t Worry, We’ll Let You Know When The Last Surviving World War II Veteran Dies” - ClickHole

“And I thought Ashley Judd’s sleaziest boss was Benjamin Horne.” – Ken Jennings

“Because hey, if you lose $35 Million one time, try try again!” – Scott Keith on Vince McMahon relaunching the XFL

“I don't recommend going to Wal-Mart 2 days before Christmas. And by "2 days before Christmas", I mean ever.” – BFG

“Pepsi: That was the biggest PR blunder of the week, year maybe.

United: Hold My Beer

Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOY JEEEENNNNNNKINS!” - @Lance_Bradley

“IF THE TITANIC HAPPENED TODAY: “Sir, we’re heading straight for that iceberg. / That’s a fake iceberg. / Sir, it’s a mountain of ice and it’s right in front of us. / Full speed ahead! / Sir, we just hit the iceberg and now we’re sinking...Sir?...Women & children first, Sir...” – Jeff Daniels

“Hot on the heels of his triumphant rebranding of MySpace, Justin Timberlake brings sexy back to the NFL.” – Kevin M.

“Derek Jeter is so freaking hot. I hate the Yankees!” – Greg’s friend Kat’s mother

"Marty Jannetty couldn't buy a date..." thankfully 24 years later Marty will make sure his dates don't share his DNA...” - Dane

“Next year's State of the Union should have an In Memoriam montage with everyone who's been fired.” - Nedeff

“What can bring an end to an angry dance montage? FUCKING ‘NAM!” – The Cinema Snob

“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BUNNY! ………… Is it about the Bunny? ………. No, it’s not about the bunny.” – Tommy “Hawk” Hill

“WARREN WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?” -Jimmy Kimmel after the Oscar Best Picture fuckup

“GOODBYE AOL INSTANT MESSENGER GO FUCK YOURSELF” – The Iron Sheik

“A producer pitches a show to an NBC executive.

"Wow me."

"Okay- it's The OJ Simpson Trial... but wacky!"

"Go on..."

"It's a procedural comedy where we don't know whether he did it until the end of the season!"

"But... this is a murder, right? Someone dies?"

"Oh, yes- good 'n' dead."

"I see... and who were you thinking would play the role of the is-he-isn't-he murderer?"

"The Trinity Killer from Dexter, John Lithgow."

"Dick Solomon?! GREENLIGHT THAT ISH" - Fard

“EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIES!” – Rick Wilson

“Can’t believe Weinstein didn’t go with the old “locker room talk” defense.” – Matthew Yglesias

“So here's what we're gonna do. Without my knowledge, my husband came to you for a loan of $20,000. You were nice enough to give it to him. But he should never have been gambling like that. I'm gonna pay you back. Now, at my bank, where we make less than one percent interest on what little money we have, people would be turning cartwheels just to get 25 percent interest on any loan, and that is what I'm generously gonna give to you right now, $25,000. That is my first, last, and only offer to you. What kind of world are we living in where people can behave like this? Treat other people this way without any compassion or feeling for their suffering? We are living in a dark, dark age, and you are part of the problem. Now, I suggest you take a good, long look at yourselves because I never want to see either of you again.” – Janey-E Jones

“If professional wrestling isn't real why have I spent the past hour watching Bobby "The Brain" Heenan videos quietly alone in my hotel room?” – Tom Arnold

Gordon Cole: “We’re not anywhere near Mount Rushmore.”

Albert Rosenfield: “I brought a picture for you.”

Gordon Cole: (Looks at picture) “There they are Albert, faces of stone.”

“This is pretty exciting to be apart of this nomination for @VeepHBO especially since my mom watched the entire last season of Madame Secretary and was confused why I was never on it.” – Paul Scheer

“Nice to know that while other industries are turning to tablets and screens, game show hosts are still plugging away with those little cards.” – SC Duncan

“We will remember the unappreciative, ungreatful, evil, awful, Anthem owl men and the man who’s fond of slapping nuts on how they treated us on our exodus from Impact Wrestling YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” – Matt Hardy shooting on Double J’s business practices

“Steve Bannon gets tonight’s Last Word – which for him, is the complete silence of utter humiliation” – Lawrence O’Donnell

“SHOVEL YOUR WAY OUT OF THE SHIT!” – Dr. Lawrence Jacoby

“Sorry I took your suit. I mean, you had it coming. Actually, it turns out it was the perfect sort of tough love moment that you needed, to urge you on, right? Don't you think? Let's just say it was. Look, you screwed the pooch hard. Big time. But then you did the right thing: you took the dog to the clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies... alright, not my best analogy. I just wanted to mention that I think with a little more mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team. There's about 50 reporters behind that door, real ones, not bloggers, so when you're ready...” – Tony Stark

“In the Alabama Senate Race, the predicted result among many pundits was a narrow margin of victory. Roy Moore himself, however, was hoping for a shocker in the teens.” – Nedeff

“Sports Illustrated called and said I was probably going to be Sportsman of the Year, but it was going to take a long photo shoot and interview. I’m not proud of my recent perm and have a interpretive dance class at the interview time so I turned it down! No Thanks SI!!” – Noah Syndergaard

“Wow, if I had invested $1,000 in Bitcoin last week, today I would have... still no idea how Bitcoin works.” - @StephenAtHome

“In a confusing twist, Han Solo's name will be revealed to be Luther Campbell.” – Jeff Gerstmann

“Lordy, I hope there are tapes!” – James Comey

“This is the water, and this is the well. Drink full, and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.” – The Woodsman in Episode 8 of Twin Peaks: The Return 

“We need some loving profiles of a small town in northern Alabama that thinks obstruction of justice is fine because Drumpf respects cops.” – Matthew Yglesias

“Why are Greg Gumbel and Seth Davis sitting at a desk for ants?” – Andrew Bucholtz

How many more of these things will Tumblr tolerate? Stay tuned...

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