#p’aof appreciation post

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: He’s Coming To Me Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover He’s Coming To Me, how this show centers Thai-Chinese/Asian culture, shipper culture, and the brilliance of Ohm Pawat and Singto Prachaya. THIS IS A LONG POST.]

I’m gonna have to hold myself down for this one. He’s Coming To Me. This kind of show. HCTM is ABSOLUTELY the reason why I created this project watchlist in the first place -- to watch this kind of show. This show cements my utter respect and passion for the work of Aof Noppharnach. This guy’s work needs to be taught in schools. 

I’m like -- after days of finishing HCTM, and furiously and hungrily rewatching episodes, I am still shaking my damn head at this show. I knew it was great, but y’all didn’t prepare me for ITS GREATNESS. (And to be watching it the same week as Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars -- it’s been an Aof-themed moment, and I’m a touch overwhelmed by EVERYTHING I’ve absorbed.)

I am actually contemplating -- I’m seriously contemplating this! -- if I like this show better than either Bad Buddy or Moonlight Chicken. I know, I KNOW. I’m not talking about the story, the structure, the filming, the writing and direction. I’m literally just talking about my own damn preferences. I might just LIKE this show better, for what it held, what it told, and how the show showed so much respect for its story.

And there’s a lot I want to touch on in this piece, so as usual, a little list for myself:

1) Where this show came from vis à vis the watchlist, and what I think it meant by way of previous BLs 2) The Asianness of the show and how it transcended the usual BL tropes 3) A celebration of Aof’s favorite themes, and how cool it was to see them being born in HCTM (including the theme of young/first love that I haven’t seen before in his work) 4) A hopefully brief and not angry reflection on shipper culture, homophobia, Ohm, Singto, and how that affected HCTM in the annals of Thai BL

Without having seen his My Dear Loser work, or his screenwriting for Gay OK Bangkok 1 and 2 (which I plan to watch after the OGMMTVC is over, in preparation for Only Friends): HCTM is the first full Aof vehicle to enter my watchlist. So just quickly looking behind me: I’ve had shows like Love Sick, SOTUS, Together With Me, Love By Chance -- shows that began to toe the line, then define the line, then sharpen the line of what BL was. As I wrote in my Love By Chance review last week, I felt that LBC was the first show on my watchlist that felt like a true derivative BL, complete with tropes that had been born during Love Sick and SOTUS, and sharpened over those first few years of the Thai BL industry growing.

So it’s 2019 now, and we get He’s Coming To Me, both written and directed by P’Aof. Tropes? No tropes. What a flip from LBC.

Instead, we get an absolute head-first dive into many of the themes that we see Aof continued to play with in his later works. For me, HCTM evoked Moonlight Chicken the most, especially for what I call the Asianness of this show -- Aof’s unabashed focus on Asian cultural themes and threads that create structure and movement for his characters.

Before I get ahead of myself, I want to thank @telomeke very deeply for chatting with me about how I could learn more about Thai-Chinese culture, because themes and behaviors related to Thai-Chinese demographics are clearly common in Thai BLs, and I’ve felt that it behooved me to learn more about the culture (or as much as I can from the internet) as I continue to review these shows. But @telomeke reminded me that a lot of the assimilation of Chinese cultures and populations mirror the cultural mixing that took and takes place in Malaysia, where a part of my family hails and where I’ve spent a good portion of my life. So I’m relieved that I actually understand more about Thai-Chinese culture than I gave myself credit for, BUT -- that’s only a caveat, because I still have so much more to learn.

I say this because I’m using this word, “Asianness,” to describe in part at least one impression I have about HCTM, which is taking seriously the theme of ghosts and what role ghosts play in a human’s life. We see very often in Japanese doramas the practice of praying at an altar honoring past ancestors -- ancestor culture and worship are big in Japan, and the doramas don’t shy away from that. We see temple trips all the time in doramas and BL doramas -- especially during New Year’s. (Our Dining Table being just the most recent one.) We see Buddhist temple culture in Thai BLs often -- in KinnPorsche, in Bed Friend, in Big Dragon, and very especially in Moonlight Chicken.

I think what I want to point out here, if I can say it eloquently, is that a Western viewer might find more notable in an Asian drama, than in a Western show, the inclusion of practices of spirituality. In the West, spirituality might be indicated by a trip to a church, or prayer. But it strikes me -- and maybe this is because I’m a first-generation Asian-American, my eyes open to ALL the differences between my culture and America -- that Asian dramas incorporate the practices of spirituality more seamlessly, because practices like lighting an incense stick and giving a quick prayer before breakfast is more culturally embedded in places like Japan or Thailand. The practice is there, and you just do it, because that’s what you do for your culture. (I often see a stick of incense lit and burning next to a plate of fruits in the early mornings when I jog past Thai restaurants. It’s just -- what you do.)

It struck me, and I still wonder about it, if Western viewers may have thought that Thun was going overboard with his interest in Thai-Chinese Buddhist practices, including being so diligent about offering alms to the passing monks, going to the temple for merits, and keeping electric incense sticks on him to make sure that Med wouldn’t disappear. An auntie on Whatsapp might cock a curious eyebrow, but also regard Thun as a “good boy” who’s devoted to the temple.

In any case, this struck me particularly deeply, because I think, if P’Aof had been a little more abashed, that he could have toned this theme down -- the theme of the everyday practice of Buddhism.

And he didn’t. He didn’t tone it down. He leveraged it as THE major theme of the drama: that ghosts exist in Thai-Chinese-Buddhist culture and practice, and that some people can communicate with ghosts, including both Thun and his mom. 

The ABSOLUTELY wonderful @telomeke​ affirmed this for me, writing so eloquently: “Underlying HCTM is an unshakeable belief in the spirit world, and it's also a given ... for a majority of people in SE Asia and Thailand in particular that the spiritual realm is as much a part of the everyday world as much as the physical reality of what we can see and touch.”

The reason why I’m hammering on this in particular is because it categorizes the show as one that is utterly representative of A SPECIFIC CULTURE -- just like Moonlight Chicken, with its commentaries on spiritual and economic practices of the particular place of Pattaya. @telomeke​, I know you have specific feelings about the ending of HCTM, which I’ll get to in a moment, but I think for me, the ending of HCTM is deeply satisfying BECAUSE of this connection to Thai-Buddhist culture, what it says about ghosts and spirits, and how they continue to be incorporated in the ongoing life of a young Thai adult like Thun. AND, I appreciated that the ending skirted, just slightly, what we might have expected about someone losing their lover (à la Eternal Yesterday). Thun only temporarily lost Med... but Med still doesn’t quite exist. And I think there’s layers there that I’ll hopefully get to teasing out, either here or in a future post.

Going back to BL tropes and structures... I mean, HCTM was just like, yo, I’m gonna play in another ball field. I’ll have more thoughts on this after I watch Dark Blue Kiss, but at least, as far as I’m aware WITHOUT having seen DBK yet, that it’s not until late 2021 that P’Aof begins playing in the BL sandbox, takes his toy dump truck, and turns the tropes upside down in Bad Buddy.

And I see, in HCTM, P’Aof laying the groundwork for the themes that he DOES love, that I happen to love, and that get repeated in his oeuvre:

- The theme of community: the need for young and old queer individuals to interact with other queer individuals (most recently depicted in OS2/BBS/ATOTS) - The theme of NOSTALGIA: Med having never left his moment 20 years prior, listening to the same music of Thun’s mom’s generation (nostalgia being most recently depicted in Moonlight Chicken) - The parable of 1,000 stars: what it means to be the last star on which to make a wish (most recently depicted in ATOTS and OS2/ATOTS) - The anguish of coming out: Thun, Uncle Jim, Li Ming, Pran coming out to Dissaya -- all heavy, all impactful, all different stories that carry heaviness and their own meaning to each of these incredible characters

And there’s so many more. But what I really want to do, to get up on the rooftops that P’Aof loves so much, and YELL TO THE AIR is:

THE GENIUS, THE SHEER GENIUS, of linking these themes -- many of these as ASIAN themes! -- to specific issues that face the queer community, such as coming out, and being invisible (like a ghost) in a majority cishet society. 

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. Oh, the pain in my heart. This is exactly what I wrote in my notes while rewatching the show: “This is the first time we get Big Cultural Themes outside of issues with the queer community -- and Aof LINKS the Big Cultural Themes WITH queer issues -- the brilliance of it all.” Just like he did subsequently in Moonlight Chicken.

What was so beautiful to me about He’s Coming To Me -- and how it was channeled with GENIUS TALENT AND GRACE from Ohm and Singto -- is that, unlike Moonlight Chicken, this was the story of one young man who needed to sort out his feelings. And there was another young man, a young man who was killed, who HAD begun realizing his feelings, but was trapped by station (from a rich family) and role (the only son in a family). Med even said, it would have been impossible for him to come out as the only son of his family.

As far as we knew, Med had only come out to Kwan, Thun’s mom, before he died. Med may have very well been attracted to other men before he died -- but we see him VISCERALLY attracted to Thun, and vice versa, and that burst of first love for both young men, IN THE CONTEXT OF Thun’s spiritual practice and abilities to BRING Med to “life” in Thun’s life -- I mean. I’m shaking my head. It’s a parable for manifesting what you want in your life, and making it happen. 

And yet, what HCTM also touches on, is that many times, you DON’T get what you want in life. Med WILL disappear one day. He will be reborn. It wasn’t his time at the moment of the ending, but it will be his time one day. Thun only has Med temporarily -- we don’t see the WHEN of that. 

BUT. I would posit (and @telomeke​ and @wen-kexing-apologist​, I wonder what you think of this), à la OS2/Bad Buddy, that P’Aof is OKAY with us not seeing this, and not necessarily considering the ending of HCTM to be a happy ending for Thun and Med. Because he knows -- and he knows that his Asian viewers know -- that Med WILL leave Thun one day. Not yet, though. Thun still has a little time to grow wiser and older and stronger. But Med WILL disappear one day. He had been hinting at it all throughout every episode of the series. He will have to leave Thun’s side. 

I think the way the show ended was graceful. It leaves that door open for Med to find his rebirth, because was a good kid and deserves to be reborn in a happy life. It allows Thun time to grow through his first love -- first love being such an important theme to this show. It’s COMPASSIONATE to Thun, very similar to me to the kind of compassion that P’Aof showed to Uncle Jim throughout Moonlight Chicken, and just now in OS2/ATOTS to Phupha. But it’s also rooted in the SPIRITUAL REALITY that Med WILL leave -- just not yet. And P’Aof is saying, I didn’t need to show y’all, because y’all Asians already know, Med’s outta here one day. 

The other thing to note about the ending is that P’Aof had already shown a tremendous amount of Thun’s pain. Thun wasn’t necessarily HAPPY in this show. He was curious, exploring, and loyal to Med. While Thun is clearly a young man who DEMONSTRATES happiness -- MY GAWD, the 19-year-old smile of Ohm Pawat!!! -- I wouldn’t say that he was a happy child. He lost his dad young. He was SCARED as hell for potentially letting his mom down. And: he had a lot of secrets to keep. The secret of being gay. The secret of being able to see and talk to ghosts.

“He’s coming to me.” Thun comes out, twice. He’s gay, and can see ghosts. 

Even though others can’t see ghosts, I can. Even though others aren’t gay, I’m gay. Mom: I’m different. 

When Thun sobs for Med while holding onto the jar of stars in his bedroom. When Thun spins around, looking for Med on the rooftop in episode five. When Thun calls for Med and Med isn’t there. Thun is alone. He is alone with his secrets, and Med is not there -- he is NOT coming to Thun in those moments -- and Thun is left alone, different and unique, as he has been his whole life.

I’d posit that that uniqueness is particularly difficult to deal with in collectivist Asian societies as in Thailand -- which led, in part, to Thun not knowing the language of his feelings as he came out to Med in episode five on the rooftop, and being SCARED, to his bones, to come out to his friends and his mom in episode six.

For 2019: I see this show as being ahead of its time, way ahead of its time. I have lots of theories as to why this show isn’t considered a more striking part of the canon of Thai BLs, and the incredible @bengiyo​ and @shortpplfedup​ have helped me to understand the magnitude of the impact that P’Aof made in breaking up the KristSingto ship to pair Singto with Ohm -- and how the fan shippers came for HCTM, and pushed GMMTV to hide this show for years before finally releasing it on YouTube with subs.

But besides that fucking bullshit, which I’ll return to in a second, I also want to note that maybe -- considering that we have more years now, after 2019, to consider the massive trove of Thai BLs that exist now -- the skirting of the still-nascent BL tropes framework was too early for many when this show came out. As I’ve demonstrated here in this piece -- this show’s complicated. There’s A LOT A LOT. I mean, I’m in love with P’Aof’s work because I LIKE HAVING A LOT in my shows. But you go a flip side and you get Together With Me and MaxTul with love bites and throaty kisses (in the words of Seinfeld, not that there’s anything wrong with that). 

HCTM is heavy. It carried a lot that wasn’t overtly sexual by nature, like many BLs at that moment in 2019 and right beforehand (randy Perth, randy MaxTul, etc.).

I understand from @bengiyo​ and @shortpplfedup​ that, because Ohm needed to move on from Make It Right and the OhmToey ship due to Toey leaving BL after MIR, and Ohm joining forces with Singto, that Ohm received massive criticism, and continues to be a subject of criticism and bullying today (some of which I’ve seen on this site). And that Singto was also the subject of online bullying as well.

With all of this in mind -- Ohm, Singto, and the unique nature of HCTM -- I’m continuing to mull over the issue of homophobia in shipper culture. If BLs are reduced down SIMPLY to the pairings that lead these shows -- and that there’s an EXPECTATION that the shows NEED to depict certain acts of queer sexuality, SPECIFICALLY among actors who identify as straight -- that seems straight up homophobic to me.

I can see HCTM being too ahead of its time to begin shifting that paradigm. I’ll see what Dark Blue Kiss does next in the Aof oeuvre from this purview, but what I want to get at is:

IT IS CRIMINAL THAT HCTM ISN’T MORE WIDELY KNOWN. This show is affecting me literally at the same level as Bad Buddy and Moonlight Chicken.

What HCTM HELD by way of Asian culture and spirituality, by the RESPECT IT HAD for the experience of first young queer love, by LEVERAGING the ABSOLUTE BRILLIANCE OF ACTING OF OHM AND SINGTO (omg, AND SINE INTHIRA, are you kidding me?!?!?), and, oh shit, by BRINGING THAT ALL TOGETHER? To TELL a story of queerness and spirituality in Thailand?

Fuck. I’m just shaking my head. If it’s too much for the shipper folk, then... okay, go off. Leave the good stuff to me and the fam that GETS IT — the fam that gets that what we’re watching is ART, and not intended vessels for fantasy and fetish.

Last notes. I just want to say that in my SOTUS reviews, that I theorized that Singto would be brilliant when paired with a really good actor, and HCTM proved it to me. If it weren’t for this fucking shipper bullshit, I would have liked to see Singto and Ohm paired again.

Ohm is probably the most prevalent actor on my Thai BL list. I get that he was nicknamed “the king of BL,” and that he’s been the target of bias for that label and his predilection for being utterly brilliant in telling queer stories (thank you to @bengiyo​ and @miscellar​ for helping to fill me in on this).

Let me just say that this man is a goddamn MASTER. @shortpplfedup​ nailed it in her Ohm appreciation post.  @absolutebl summarizes why Ohm is singular in this BL space. Shippers who want to bully the mans, bring him down or whatever, spread misinformation, I want to say, angrily and rudely -- fuck off, and be afraid of talent in y’alls lives. 

With the tangle of homophobia and cyberbullying that seem to have an overstated impact on the Thai BL industry, it is a damn shame that Ohm doesn’t get more of his flowers, because he makes shows better. I mean: this guy OWNS ROOFTOPS. Episode five of HCTM?! Episode five of Bad Buddy?! Get this guy on a rooftop and he will SLAY. Pair him with people -- Singto? Nanon? Perth? OHM MAKES THESE GUYS BETTER ACTORS than they ever were previously.

I say the following, in all honesty, with a touch of disdain, of condescension, and sadness, for the people who don’t watch this show because it doesn’t have pectorals or hot make-out sessions, and because it features actors that many fans might want to bully:

HCTM does not have the reputation that it deserves. It’s not just a good show. It’s an HONORABLE show. For me, it pays homage to Asian cultures and practices that I relate to. It features a story of queer revelations and love that is written with passion and respect. It features probably the best acting I’ve seen so far on my watchlist. And it features two actors who were willing to subvert expectations, at the risk of their own careers, to tell this story, as written and directed by one of of the most brilliant, subversive, experimental, and creative filmmakers I’ve ever watched in Aof Noppharnach.

I want and need BL fans to appreciate Asian culture more in these shows. And I want and need BL fans to appreciate human behavior development as well. Because P’Aof is telling stories out here, stories that can enrich our lives. I wrote in my Bad Buddy thesis that BBS will be required viewing for my children. HCTM joins that list. HCTM makes me want to be a better Asian mother, and to make a world for my children where the experience of first love and coming out can be regarded not with pain, but with celebration and joy.

[It’s going to take me a while to get over HCTM, but I’ve already begun Dark Blue Kiss, and am having a FABULOUS time with it. That opening theme! P’Aof and JOCKS! Yum. Another frappé, please.

Here’s the updated list! Much to the chagrin of everyone-I-know-on-Tumblr (I’M SORRY @shortpplfedup​), I’m adding a VERY fast rewatch of ATOTS. Blame it on Our Skyy 2. I’ll want to watch ATOTS after the cinematic affair that is ITSAY, and after I’ve seen P’Aof do his thing on two existing series in DBK/Kiss and Still 2gether. ATOTS was my very first P’Aof series, and I want to rewatch it in chronology.

Here we go. As always, I’ll take recs, comments, etc.!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019)  10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (watching) 11) TharnType (2019) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) 14) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 15) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 16) 2gether (2020) 17) Still 2gether (2020) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 20) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 22) Lovely Writer (2021) 23) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 24) Not Me (2021-2022) 25) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 26) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 27) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 28) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 29) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 30) My School President (2022-2023) 31) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 32) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[ablazenqueen]

and it scares me even more because PAA. Sweet, oblivious little Paa with her charm and rainbow little heart.

I can already see what might happen if they put her with wai. And then justify it as trying to ease things between pat and wai by having him date her sister.

And I’m new to all of this, but you guys trust this director so much and love him so I’m going to trust you.

Justice for inkpaa.

And they’re gonna have to try really hard to redeem his character after that. Because I’m not who I was three years ago. I know it when I see it now, and I’m gonna call it out when I see it. Wai was gaslighting Pran. How many times has he done it before. And wai’s friends with Pran’s mum.

This is trouble.

This is terrifying.

This is too much right now.

sending love,

gabi. <3

Okay, theorizing time! Because I have thoughts on this!

Wai has a little “ooh, she’s cute” crush on Pa. So far, at least, Pa has shown zero reciprocation to that infatuation, literally turning and leaving mid-convo. So do I think his crush will be reciprocated? Ha! No. I mean, that’s also on top of the fact that she’s so very clearly already smitten with Ink but that’s not what we’re discussing here.

It’s interesting to hear you theorize that Wai and Pa might date as a means to bond Wai and Pat because… the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind? And reading the words just makes it feel even more unlikely (no offence <3). In fact, I really think it’s going to be the opposite. I can almost guarantee you that Wai’s crush on Pa is going to be a point of contention between him and Pat.

Personally, I’m expecting one of two outcomes from this:

Theory 1: Wai is going to hit on Pa and she’s going to reject him. He’s going to find out that she’s Pat’s brother. Pat may or may not be involved in Pa’s rejection, but either way, Wai will blame him.

Theory 2: Wai is going to hit on Pa and she isn’t going to reject him. (This theory feels less likely but that could be the Inkpa shipper goggles talking.) Whether she’s just flattered or they actually date, this will lead to tension with Pat because they have unresolved issues and having someone you distrust hit on the sibling you adore with your whole heart? Yeah, that’s a no-go.

You make a super interesting point here that I hadn’t considered at all though. Wai is supposedly adored by Pran’s mom. I don’t want to expect the worst but… that could easily be hinting at him discovering that Pat and Pran are a couple and telling her behind Pran’s back? So let me tie my theories back to this point because I think it could easily be related.

Theory 3: Pa rejects Wai. Wai gets pissed off, sees it as Pat’s fault, and gets revenge on Pat by telling Pran’s mom that Pran and Pat are dating. (I mean, I seriously hope not but it’s a possibility.)

I also think there’s a chance of Wai asking Pran for help hitting on Pa, which could lead to a number of conflicts. If Pran says no, Wai will be upset with him. If Pran says yes, Pat will be upset with him. If Pran explains the situation to Wai, he’ll have to explain how he knows that Pa is Pat’s sister, which would lead to The Big Reveal™. Pick your poison.

But this is all real angsty so I’m going to end on a happy note because you mentioned P’aof and I just want to shower him with love for a second! The funny thing is that I didn’t know who he was until after I started Bad Buddy but when I find out, I looked him up and realized he was involved in a lot of my favourite shows (ATOATS, Still 2gether, Dark Blue Kiss, He’s Coming To Me). 1/3 of my rec list are shows by P’aof, I kid you not. He’s a queer man telling queer stories and I have a lot of respect for his work and his storytelling. His track record with shows is good and Bad Buddy has been beyond amazing so far. So yeah. We trust in P’aof. With good reason!

Does that mean that Inkpa will be canon? That’s… nearly impossible to guess. It’s possible the hints are P’aof giving the fans as much as he can because he knows they want it but he can’t give it. It’s also possible the hints are there because they will be canon but a GL couple in a BL show would be… correct me if I’m wrong, practically - if not entirely - unprecedented? It’s possible it’s happened before but I haven literally never heard of a single example. Bad Buddy has already been pretty groundbreaking in the BL genre. Making Inkpa canon would be… just wow. It’s one of a million reason I’m rooting so hard for them. I remain cautiously hopeful but like I said, let’s just trust in P’aof and see where he takes us!

[smittenskitten]

Aof Noppharnach Chaiwimol

The director and screenwriter of A Tale of Thousand Stars

P'Aof has been making content for GMMTV as early as 2017 with My Dear Loser as a screenwriter. He is best known for directorial work in creating some of the best queer content.

Some of those work includes: He's Coming To Me (2019), Dark Blue Kiss (2019), Still 2gether (2020), A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021), Bad Buddy (2022)

P.S My thoughts are rather haphazard sooo yeah! These are just some stray thoughts.

The stories P'Aof works with are are always very interesting. Are these stories flawless? Absolutely not, as much as I love ATOTS I can still poke holes in it. With all the flaws and all I do love atots if it wasn't obvious already.

According to P’Aof, he wanted to make ATOTS into a series since he read the novel in 2016/17. So technically this show had been in the making for a long time. They aired their first teaser back in 2019 but before they could start shooting you know what happened and everything shut down. Even after starting the shoot there were lots of obstacle like changing location, building an entire set (Tian’s house, the school) from scratch, nature, climbing cliffs with all their shooting equipment.

They faced a lot to make this show, and there were some fandom lores tidbits that was quite interesting (someone should make another post about the making of ATOTS!!!)

Watching P'Aof's shows I have always felt like I am watching a story unfold about two people instead of a typical BL (IDK if that makes sense!). The focus on emotions is another reason what makes his shows so great.

Shows like ATOTS, Bad Buddy has quite a grip on people. How many of us are still mentally living in Pha Pun Dao? Or in the rooftop of PatPran’s building?

With ATOTS I got introduced to more of P'Aof's works. After having watched most of the shows he created, I appreciate the craft and the craftsman's effort in making his shows better than the last one.

P’Aof also has a knack for doing cameos. If you are watching ATOTS right now, keep your eyes on episode 5 👀

Personally, I think P'Aof is a fan of thorathat (I have no way of proving this excerpt for what I have observed LOL). He loves the drama in his shows. Bad Buddy with family feud, ATOTS with heart transplant = love connection (but not really).

But none of them come close to what he did with Dark Blue Kiss. To this day DBK has the most dramatic opening I have seen in a BL (even if you haven't seen the drama check out the opening credits)

Maybe it's P'Aof’s flare for the dramatics that gives me hope for his next project (hopefully coming out this year!!! 🤞) Moonlight Chicken, starring EarthMix. While the theme or the title of the show is not that popular, I am looking forward to watching it.

So let's manifest another great show from P’Aof 🙏

[thatgothsamurai]

Hi hi anons!! First of all thanks so much anons for liking my one of my most fav fanart, very much appreciated😭❤️❤️

second, I want to go apeshit a little if I may-

I was also freaked out when I knew p’aof saw my bbs wedding fanart BUT IT’S FROM A REPOSTED ONE🥲😭🥲😭🥲😭 MY HEART HURT A LITTLE

((those probably my reactions)) bc this is like THE SECOND TIME I got noticed (first by p’sprite) but thru reposters which I didn’t remember them asking for permission first???????????????? tbh I could care less about being noticed (that’s why I rarely tagged the actors on my fanart), it’s like fine if they don’t know but bro, man, dudeeee, it’s not like I won’t be super happy if they notice my fanarts pls well at least with that my hardwork in those fanarts I made got real paid😭😭😭

I think what pissed me off was those kind of reposters didn’t even put credits/source when they first reposted even tho they know..... they’d only put the source after the post blew up and had the spotlights like????????????????? (even in some case the original artists got lesser engagements than the reposters🥲) AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN ASKED FOR PERMISSION SMH😭 man at least please have basic manner.... don’t get me wrong but there are some people who wanted to repost my art they’d ask for my permission first and I appreciate it very much PLS BE LIKE THEM😭👍👍 I even put “do not repost” sign on my twitter bio rn😭😭😭

I actually don’t have that much energy to deal with this issue man I’m too tired... I just feel a bit sad and the only place to rant is here ig so sorry you have to see this🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

Yeah but I think the positive thing from this is I hope p’aof can consider the idea from my fanart to put it on special ep or in Our Sky 2.. ((but im still sad....))

to those reposters if you see this DONT TALK ME I ANGY

[bl-recs-and-reviews]

GMMtv2023 - Stray thoughts

In the end i decided to put it all togetther in a post instead of spamming everybody xD

First of all, I see GMMtv learned from this year and has discovered the usefulness of “coming soon” instead of giving a date

Did they really had people waiting for an hour and a half until they got started with the live??? seriously??

Enigma... Mmmm... I don’t think I’ll have the time to watch it but I appreciate dangerously hot Win,depending on when it comes out I might check it out

Is it just me or does Book’s face seem different in A Boss and a Babe?? Looks cute. I’m not too sold on that one, it’ll depend on how they do it. But it’s a BL so I’ll have to check it out ;D

Oooof course it was fucking P’New xD 

I love me an age gap relationship if it’s well done. Especially is she’s older. 

Some of the non BL shows are a appealing I have to admit

I love Ohm but idk if I’m behind the whole concept of brothers betraying each other and whatnot, it looks intense, so for the crime loving people it might be a good treat ;)

Hidden Agenda looks cute, I’m intrigued but the slapstick comedy might take me out. The plot gives me 2gether vibes tho

MILKLOVE FTW!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!! IT LOOKS AMAZING AND PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND LADFHADFJAÑDSFJUADLSFA

I already knew they were gonna have a show but omg it’s so satisfying to see the confirmation

 OffGun?!??!?!?!?! Why do you have a show???? cute tho, I love sleep deprived Off, he’s shinning more and more each year

notice how I’m starting to skip the straights? xD

Wednesday Club, looks cool. And I’m a middle child so it’s calling me. Also Jane, Phuwin, Ohm, etc. Sign me up (we’ll still have to see if I watch it in its entierity)

Last Twilight, YES! This is the kind of story that I want from you GMMtv! Give me diversity of plots, heck yeah. Honestly it looks amazing. I can’t wait for this one. 

YES, of course, it could only be P’Aof’s idea. lol. This makes so much sense now xD

Loneliness Society has me curious about it

Only Friends has come to bring the drama, and the assholes that you can’t help but love and I WANT IT. Also having a full gay Friendzone is giving me life xD

Of course, it souldn’t be a gmmtv year if we didn’t have P’Jojo doing drama

So I really appreciate it , thank you for doing the lord’s work

Also Jennie looks gorgeous

I was skeptical about the whole PerthChimon are gonna have a BL, but I like to be proven wrong. This is looking great and they’re good actors so I think it’s gonna be good. I’m excited!

TayNew Cherry Magic?? We’ll see how that goes

And I gotta say I really like the annoucement of Our Skyy 2

I feel like we deserve this treat

Thank you very much

For a second I thought we were gonna get OhmNanon doing thir characters from ViceVersa but I’m glad it’s PatPran

It looks like it’s gonna be cute in general

Props to the director of that video, it looks great

Anyway, those are my overall thoughts. I’m excited for the shows we didn’t get yet and the ones that are coming. Hopefully they keep on getting better

[oswlld]

Artists self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five arts/sets/edits/gifs that you've done, then pass on to at least five other people. Time to shine and spread some self-love and appreciation 💖

Thank you, Mitaliiii 😚💞 I’m gonna split this btwn non-bl’s and bl’s, since I really got into the fandom this year and couldn’t boil down all my edits to a ✨top five✨:

Thirteen x P&P - one of the earliest edits I did when I was first exploring VSCO; you can see how restrained I was in using the double exposure and blurring back then; nevertheless, still one of my fav executions

Weeping Angels - back when I was still hesitant on using the beta upload; played around with compositions while still under the ten (10) photo limit and was happy with the end result

WandaVision x Love Warrior - I think this show help me solidify my current editing process; if you compare a lot of what I make today to this one, it still holds up while having the system still be effective to this day

Hamilton, A Series Told By America Now - one of the largest, if not The largest, series I undertook while on this remade blog; eight (8) parts, six (6) edits each, had to make the "cast" consistent??? Can I show you what I’m proudest of?

Anakin/Darth - this is one of those edit ideas that fell into place as I went; I think it was the typography for me

--

InkPa x Darkroom Chemicals - art school really came in handy when it came to this edit lol; I think this was the only time I’ve ever had to deconstruct a screencap to it’s (almost) early development state

PatPran x P&P - I think after the Moon Knight edit I did recently, this one was the longest I’ve held onto an idea before finally executing it (six months, i think??); what else is there to say, p’aof maked a pretty show with a pretty shots

KinnPorsche Bio(?) - one of the very few times the fonts were against me; also, a very ambitious undertaking for me to edit/post while I was still very early into binging the show, so half the time, I was like "idk these dudes but I think they’re neat"

To My Star 2 x Giovanni/Baldwin Conversation - sometimes I have an insp. edit locked up in my head, waiting for the perfect scene and had to endure all of pain to finally get here lol

Vice Versa x PINK - oof only time will tell if I ever decide to double down on a show like this; posting both a quote edit AND a web weave for three months was a marathon, but I think this one has to be one of my favs, in terms of the typo, edits, and quote combos

+bonus - if you have been around before bad buddy or even since bad buddy ended, you know that i just don’t do meta lol I leave that to people who can words and brain better; idk how y’all do it, this took almost a week and every single last drop of brainpower I had to put this together

--

EDIT: @i-got-the-feels also tagged me for this meme, thank you so much for thinking of me 💛💛

[konaizumi]

A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 8 thoughts/reaction

did i watch this episode secretly on my phone while i was in class bc i couldn’t stand waiting a whole hour to watch the new ep? maybe

tian visiting torfun’s memorial to leave flowers and tell her that he’s going to pha pun dao was sweet

also him and phupha missing each other again was just a really nice scene and phupha wondering who left her flowers

i have decided to forgive dr nam for last episode (the snooping not the flirting thing) bc i know he was just concerned about his friend and he didn’t intend for phupha to have that kind of reaction, but he still should’ve confronted tian directly before telling phupha

the way tian is looking at longtae in the beginning, seeing how supportive he’s being and knowing that he’s probably about to lose longtae as well

god this scene was so painful to watch, just knowing what was coming

but the editing that combines tian’s speech with phupha reading through the notebook

also, thank you to the writers for confirming that the tian/torfun similarities are bc he’s been reading the notebook and not because torfun’s spirit is possessing him, i didn’t think they would do that but nice to have confirmation

poor tian really did go there with the best intentions

oof, when the music goes silent when phupha interrupts his speech

also, i said this last week, but it should’ve been the rangers responsibility to tell everyone torfun had died and the fact that they didn’t only added to tian’s burden and the animosity aimed at him, and it annoyed me the way the rangers (perhaps unintentionally) let tian take on the full blame and didn’t admit that they had known about torfun’s death from the start

god and the way tian’s heart break is visible on his face as soon as phupha interrupts/confronts him and he realizes that phupha won’t be on his side

and mix’s acting in this scene (and the entire episode) is just so good, you can see the way he’s desperately trying to keep in together and not completely break down, and his heartbreak when he realizes he’s all alone

also, i made a longer post about how i understand phupha’s reaction, I think it’s pretty natural and that he’s not overreacting, however, i do wish he hadn’t confronted tian so publicly like that 

just everything about this scene is just so good in the most painful way, especially the sad orchestral version of the theme song

now i think this ep is too sad for me to say it’s my favorite, but from a narrative/cinematography perspective it is my favorite, it was just really well done

i was really hoping the kids would have a bigger role this ep and begin the forgiveness process for the rest of the village, so i was excited when Meejoo came but then p’aof decided to stab me directly in the heart when she asked what death is

(also im sorry but how old are these kids that she doesn’t know what the word death is?)

(also given that everything that happens in this ep happens within like a 30 hour period, i still hold hope for the kids forgiving next ep once they have some time to process)

at least they didn’t make me watch the scene where tian had to explain what death was, that would’ve killed me

i understand the villager’s reactions too, and i do kind of wish tian would just stay home and give them some time to grieve and process before trying to interact with them–i don’t blame tian for keeping the truth from them this long, but he does need to respect the pain they’re going through

also this scene with phupha really fucked me up, the way phupha remains stone faced even though he’s clearly in a lot of pain

“i wish i could return it to her” one of the things about this story that really fucks me up is that you can’t have both torfun and tian--torfun had to die for tian to live, and if torfun had lived then tian would have died and all the characters are in a way stuck with this moral dilemma of “choosing” between tian and torfun, even if the decision was already made for them, and tian has had to deal with this problem since the beginning and made his choice a long time ago that he would have preferred that torfun had lived instead of him bc he feels like she had more to live for and left behind more than he would’ve

also the scene is so much more painful knowing that just that morning phupha had finally said out loud that he wanted tian to stay

and i was really ton this scene between understanding phupha’s reaction and where he’s coming from but also being like “please stop talking to my son like that, he feels bad enough as is”

i have often had the emotion of “i want to walk through the screen so i can give this character a hug” and i have literally never felt it stronger than this episode of atots

also thank you to dr nam who told phupha not that he was wrong for his actions, but that he should’ve confronted tian differently, also for figuring out that tian wasn’t the driver

the fact that tian just walked through the tea field so he knows that either khama was lying to him or that longtae saw him in the field and hid from him

poor longtae tho, thought he knew what was coming then was hit with “im responsible for her death”

you know what? i didn’t realize khama would have such a recurring role from the first episode, but i really like him--he’s trying to do his best for the village and that isn’t always easy and he’s the first to try to think about tian’s perspective even when it’s clearly difficult for him

also i love khaotung, he does a really good job as longtae, and as much as i loved him as chonlatee, i prefer him in more mature roles like longtae or fong

did dr nam really think phupha would keep letting tian stay in his room?

it came as a surprise to likely no one but i am glad to have definitve confirmation that tian was in fact not driving the car

against my wishes, tul did not show up this episode to give tian a hug so i hope he’s in the next ep to provide some much needed emotional support

tian’s involvement in torfun’s death is also complicated because to say he had no responsibility in it would be wrong but to say he had full responsibility wouldn’t be right either, there was so much of the situation that was just due to chance, as it the case in any accident, so i appreciate the nuance of the narrative in that tian does take responsibility (even if he takes too much) but other characters like longtae argue that it’s not his fault, bc it’s easy from an outside perspective to say it’s not tian’s fault but it would be much harder to be in tian’s position and not feel responsible that his actions lead to torfun’s death

longtae is truly best boi

tian saying he’s okay with just longtae understanding him is so sad but at the same time it’s good that he’s not trying to force other people to understand or forgive him

now i really want to know what torfun’s wish is bc you know it’s going to be all meaningful and thematically relevant

istg if i had a fucking nickel for every time tian has tried to give me a heart attack

i spent the entirety of part 4 yelling at tian to just stop being stupid

like i get it, you don’t feel like you have the time to waste to go find phupha, but still

also im worried that maybe the reason he was so adamant about doing it himself and not finding phupha was because he didn’t feel like he could go to phupha or that phupha might not believe him

tian please just listen to longtae being the voice of reason

or at least send longtae back to the village to go get phupha if you’re this determined

as soon as he pulled out his phone i fucking knew the flash would go off bc tian can’t be smart without also being dumb

pls don’t hit my son he has a weak heart

longtae running away like “i didn’t sign up for this shit”

pls stop hitting my son

i was wondering how tian’s dad would become involved in the story again and tian name dropping him to escape being killed by poachers was not it

but sakda was clearly scared when tian first said the name so obvi they’re connected and i’m assuming the person who called tian’s dad was either sakda or one of the other men there which means that tian’s dad is doing illegal shit (surprise surprise)

tian i know you’re stressed but pls let rang provide first aid

that montage at the end tho really hit me

also the parallels between this scene and the one when tian fainted in the field, it’s literally the exact same scene but the roles are reversed

also the fucking post credits scene, the emotional whiplash, the pain from knowing phupha said this stuff literally hours before everything went wrong

the way i squealed when phupha said i do (and throught the rest of the scene), it was literally the sweetest thing, it might be my favorite phutian moment so far

so for the last two episodes, im assuming that tian’s dad coming to get him and the dad being involved in illegal stuff will be the main external conflict, i wouldn’t be surprised if next ep ended with the dad showing up and demanding to take tian back

also the next ep preview, khama telling tian to forgive himself, im weak

this episode just made me feel so much, the story is just so complex and nuanced, and the characters are real and messy, and pls more bl in the future that aren’t afraid to tell more serious stories (as much as i love the romcom style of most bls i would love some more variety)

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: 3 Will Be Free and the Power of Jojo Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover 3 Will Be Free, a show that is actually NOT a BL, but BL-adjacent by way of its inclusionary queer content, as written and directed by GMMTV’s Jojo Tichakorn.]

Like I mentioned last week, this review of 3 Will Be Free is slightly out of chronological order with my thoughts on Dew the Movie. But no worries! I needed some time to gather my thoughts on 3 Will Be Free for so many GOOD reasons.

This is the only Jojo Tichakorn show on the OGMMTVC list, as almost all of the rest of the list (except for Dew, Love Sick, and the Kiss Me Again and Puppy Honey cuts) are BLs or BL-adjacent. But I was super happy to get Jojo on the list, because 3 Will Be Free, as so many of you know, was a groundbreaking experiment in decidedly queer content airing on GMMTV.

The dear friends @lurkingshan and @wen-kexing-apologist were my buddies during my 3WBF watch, and the guiding rule that I realized in watching this show was: this show wasn’t CENTERED on queerness, as so many BLs are. This show was INCLUSIONARY of queerness, in an INCREDIBLY real way. Like, in a way that reflects my own life, among my queer friends and chosen family, in my very liberal part of America. 

Really quickly, before I dive into the show, I want to take a moment to actually compare this perspective to what I saw in Dew the Movie, which I’m still taken and shaken by. What a different experience of a presentation of queer-focused content. @absolutebl Sensei, in a question I posed to them before watching Dew, remarked that Dew fell into one of a number of categories of a kind of queer content that would be allowed to be produced as a movie -- that queer content in a movie, arguably, NEEDS to have a tragic ending, say, or punch-down humor. 

One of the lenses in which I’ve been watching shows on the OGMMTVC watchlist has been to keep an eye out for BL tropes -- their births, their presence, their development. We’re still in 2019 with 3WBF, but we know that come 2021, when Bad Buddy comes out, that P’Aof Noppharnach will produce a show with a BL infrastructure, while turning many common BL tropes around on their heads (I’m always referring to @miscellar’s FABULOUS post on this). But, still, by and large, many BLs produced during that time have core elements of BL infrastructure -- I refer often to Love By Chance as being the first referential BL on my list that really concentrates these tropes holistically into an almost-entirely successful show.

So when I say that 3WBF was REFRESHING to watch, as a crime drama that INCLUDED queerness as a fabric of the life that the show was depicting -- I see how Jojo, in this instance, could not be bothered by BL tropes or a necessary checklist of any kind related to queer media, and instead created a different fabric of a fictional life that hewed far more to reality (except for all the mafia stuff, but whatever). While the plot of 3WBF was wild and slightly wacky, the layers of ACCEPTANCE and ACKNOWLEDGEMENT about how queerness is ACTUALLY PRESENT in almost all aspects of our daily lives was just -- it was INCREDIBLY refreshing to watch. And for a cipher like Jojo to present that to us, unabashed, that we as a global population HAVE queerness around us, in the beautiful people we know and love in our lives -- fuck yeah. This show did not shy away from that.

As always, there were a number of themes that I think the show held that I’ll try to get to:

1) How our societies can’t deal with complicated people, 2) How society doesn’t always accept behavioral change, and 3) How chosen family can change our lives for the better.

Besides the inclusionary-not-centering perspective of queerness in the show, I loved that Jojo actually centered very complicated people as his main characters in Shin, Neo, Miw, and Mae (Ter was a bit more linear, on the edge of getting complicated, but his tragic end still struck hard). 

Getting ahead of myself to point #2 -- as I wrote in my review of Theory of Love, society and the general population doesn’t always take kindly to big behavioral change among individuals. We like labels, we like judging people. We like keeping people in boxes to control them. I think about the ways in which, for example, families often can’t accept that children are growing up and becoming adults, changing into different people and personas. If you know someone very well, you want to box them in -- oftentimes for the purpose of trying to control their behavior. 

I posit that society also doesn’t accept complicated, multifaceted people for the same reason. Neo is an out, bisexual man, a prostitute, and an alleged criminal. Miw is a hostess, a sometime-prostitute, and also an alleged criminal. Mae is in the midst of her gender transition journey. Society has its claws out for people like that, ready to judge Neo and Miw and Mae for existing on the borderline of acceptability of culture. (And as I very often write about, most recently for Dew -- having these individual characteristics will very often go against the grain of Asian collectivist societies.) 

What I really appreciated about the structure of 3WBF is that Jojo initially created a world, vis à vis Thana, in which individualism could NOT exist. Thana needed TOTAL loyalty and complicity for him and his business to function on a minute-to-minute basis. Any aberration to that might cost him his life or the life of his son, Shin. Thana had his wife killed. He killed others at the drop of a pin. In the end, he was on the edge of killing his own son, and the people who provided unconditional love in his son’s life. 

We know that Jojo VERY often includes this kind of macro-commentary in his works, most recently in Dirty Laundry -- the macro commentary about the often-problematic forces that control society above the heads of those trying to survive, including politicians, police, and leaders in criminal activity, all categories of power that more often than not are speaking to each other.

Thana was taken down by the people on the outskirts of society, of “normal” life. His son, Shin, was the bridge between those two worlds. 

I think Neo was probably centered at the start of the show to be the main character, but to me, Shin (acted INSANELY OUTSTANDINGLY by Tay Tawan, MY GOD, TAY! WHAT A TOUR DE FORCE) was the ultimate center of this show. For me, the show held Shin’s process of growth so beautifully, it gives me the shivers.

Shin was one smart motherfucker, despite seeming melancholy and indecisive on his surface. In fact -- he held all of that as a character. He was INCREDIBLY complicated and multifaceted. 

He had the opportunity and the resources to make huge changes in his life, including money. He loved Neo -- and he loved Miw, and was maybe confused by that, but ultimately accepted it. He leveraged his strengths and opportunities to change to save his friends. He hated his father, but didn’t want his father dead. He wanted to pursue art, but landed in mafia work. 

He, more than ANYONE, toed, stepped, and played on the line of the complicated gray area of existence in order to survive -- to survive NOT JUST FOR HIMSELF, but his chosen family around him. He stepped into that gray area to find love. He found the courage to ASK and get clarity around love from the people he loved in Neo and Miw. 

And -- to me, MOST BRILLIANTLY: he actually took his dad’s advice. He never played the victim. He was so often close to being one -- especially in the forest -- but there was clearly a steely side of him that helped him keep his spine straight, and helped him to survive, vis à vis himself and the friends that ultimately became his family.

And this is where this show ultimately really guts me. Shin chose his chosen family over his blood family -- the blood family in his father that held Shin back from the kind of change that would help Shin ultimately survive in the world. Shin represented a transcendence, a breaking-free from the powers that hold our societies back from progressive change, a very CLEAR message from Jojo that individual change CAN BE good for all of us at a macro level. Acceptance will not derail society. Acceptance will ENHANCE society.

Shin gained that strength through his chosen family. Chosen family allows us to transcend who we once were, to be who we really are. Chosen family allows us as individuals TO change, while our blood family so very often needs us to NOT change, so that they can continue to behaviorally control us. 

That’s why Neo and Miw are so important to Shin. That’s why Phon and Ter are so important to Mae. That’s why seeing Ter’s transformation vis à vis Mae was so important. (God, between Wad in SOTUS and Mae in 3WBF, Gunsmile has not caught a break in these GMMTV shows!)

Shin keeping Neo and Miw in his life meant that while he had to stay in his life of the family business, that his chosen family would allow him to BE HIMSELF ... while Shin’s own father demanded the erasure of all of the qualities that made Shin, Shin. 

These are huge messages. These very well may be messages that a BL infrastructure couldn’t necessarily hold -- again, because a BL centers queerness and romance. 3WBF, leveraging queerness as inclusionary, allowed for a crime story to hold SO many of these pieces and commentaries, bringing them together as an uplifting and holistic story that those who are down and out are only there because others put them there. Those who are excluded from mainstream society are so very often the ones that push us forward into better progressive change. 

Jojo didn’t fuck around with this -- and, DAMN, neither did Tay Tawan. WOW. I mean, all of them -- Joss, Mild, Jennie, Gunsmile. Total A-game performances. But Tay blew me away. You’d think that that hot-ass dude would only play jock roles, and I totally had him as Pete from Dark Blue Kiss in my head the first couple of episodes. But, HELL no. Tay totally rose to the occasion. What a performance. (Let me PLEASE pray that he can rise to the occasion again in Cherry Magic. Don’t let my darling Kurosawa down, Tay!)

I am SO glad that @wen-kexing-apologist and @lurkingshan convinced me to put 3WBF on the OGMMTVC list (THANK YOU FRIENDS, MY GAWD!). As BL-adjacent -- the show spoke to an inclusionary queer perspective that I am HELLA impressed that GMMTV embraced. I know I’m up for a stumble with 2gether as my next actual GMMTV offering on the list. But I think 3WBF certainly allowed for the door to crack open on GMMTV’s ultimate apology tour starting in the 2020s, after 2gether airs.

[HELL YEAH. 3 Will Be Free was so excellent. And I am having a SURPRISINGLY great time getting through Until We Meet Again. I’m really not a fan of long series runs, but I’m giving UWMA a long leash, because, well, Fluke, Ohm (the other Ohm, now I have TWO Ohms, so many Ohms), Kao, and SOOOO much Thai food. And Earth Cooheart is a TOTAL wonder. Oh my god, I love him way more in UWMA than his role in LBC.

I might be a touch delayed in finishing UWMA because of the Independence Day holiday here in the States, but -- hopefully not, and I hope to have my UWMA review up next week. Cross ya fingas for me. Here’s the status of the list. I’m getting mentally prepared for 2gether, oh boy. As ever, if you have any feedback, I’ll take it!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs)  15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (watching) 17) 2gether (2020) 18) Still 2gether (2020) 19) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 20) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 21) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 23) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 24) Lovely Writer (2021) 25) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 26) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 27) Not Me (2021-2022) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 29) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 30) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 31) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 32) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 33) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 34) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 35) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 36) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 37) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Dark Blue Kiss and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover Dark Blue Kiss and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again, and the start of the creation of Aof Noppharnach’s universe of singular BL tropes and themes.]

Let me say this: 2019 was an insane year for BLs, right? To have He’s Coming To Me, Dark Blue Kiss, AND TharnType coming out in the same year seems almost overwhelming to me (even though I know that HCTM was mostly buried for years). 

My very good luck over the last three (THREE!) weeks has been in just enjoying an INDULGENCE of past and current work by Aof Noppharnach. Studying his work is a major goal of this Old GMMTV Challenge project, as I’ve been seriously destroyed, personally, by the layers and implications of his work as an Asian director and screenwriter, with me as an Asian-American viewer watching his shows that I can relate to on basically almost every level of my existence, while not being queer. 

But, hilariously: an INITIAL goal of this project -- I cannot believe I’m saying this now that I’ve already gone through so many shows -- was that, before deciding to get to know Thai BLs historically, I had long intended to watch Dark Blue Kiss as a means of getting to know Tay and New. BECAUSE (cough cough): I am an absolute digging, sniffling, barking golden retriever for Cherry Magic. I LIVE FOR CHERRY MAGIC. I stan so stupid hard for Machida Keita and Akaso Eiji. I own their dumb mugs! I have DVDs, magazines, so much CM shit in my house. LIKE, I LIVE FOR THAT SHOW AND LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

So Tay as Kurosawa and New as Adachi? I needed to know who these dudes were before I watched them in Cherry Magic. (I’m totally giggling about this now.)

OBVIOUSLY, I’ve gotten MUCH WISER, much more HIP to the SCENE, if y’all will, and I understand much better how important Tay and New are as an OG GMMTV ship. And for them to appear in Dark Blue Kiss, after originating PeteKao in Kiss and Kiss Me Again -- I understand the meaning and importance of that in 2019, now, through my watchlist project.

There are a few themes that come to mind as I think about how I’ll review this show:

1) Watching the birth of the singular BL tropes that P’Aof created in Dark Blue Kiss -- t-shirts, picture boards, etc., 2) How he balances and integrates Big Themes in his storytelling, and 3) How he chooses particular actors to buck certain assumptions in Thai society regarding appearance.

I’ve now seen almost all of P’Aof’s major works, save for Still 2gether. And I’ve watched these out of order, although I have chronological rewatches of A Tale of Thousand Stars and Bad Buddy (and their respective Our Skyy 2 episodes) coming up on the watchlist.

So I couldn’t help but see A LOT of proto-BBS in Dark Blue Kiss, which I really enjoyed seeing, as a slavish BBS girlie. I loved seeing P’Aof’s tropes in historical form. The picture posterboard above Pete’s bed. Mork’s and Sun’s matching t-shirts. The birth of the engineering trope in P’Aof’s own oeuvre, with the first appearance of the architecture red shirt on Rain. Finger promises in HCTM and DBK becoming fist bumps in BBS. I love teasing these out and seeing what P’Aof was DOING by creating his OWN platter of tropes that he’d come to leverage and rely on in his future works -- all for creating a lovely sense of universe and intimacy among his beloved couples. (Pat wearing the forest ranger shirt in Our Skyy 2... I’m still laughing and shaking my head at that.)

I understand what P’Aof was doing by teasing out the PeteKao story and kind of slipping it away from the Kiss franchise -- not only do I understand it, I love the subversion of it. And I love that, while he was doing that, he was creating his OWN flavor of BL, complete with HIS own tropes and themes, while leveraging an already-existing property, to draw attention to the show vis à vis Kiss and TayNew. I think, by playing around with the bones of something that already existed, that he could begin to take risks to create an oeuvre that we know, now, in 2023, is utterly unique, and in my opinion, brilliant and important. (And I think it’s important to note this in particular because of how buried He’s Coming To Me was, and I think Dark Blue Kiss was an important move for P’Aof to make post-HCTM for GMMTV and for his career.)

(Tangentially, I think He’s Coming To Me and Moonlight Chicken stand alone as defiers of the BL genre, only minimally influenced by the stereotypical BL tropes, while featuring ONLY P’Aof’s own style of BL in their foundations. And as I’ve said previously -- I believe HCTM was way ahead of its time in 2019. I’ll talk a little more about this in my TharnType review later this week.)

But not only was P’Aof creating his own flavor of BL in DBK, as INFLUENCED by previous BL tropes, I also see that he was beginning to really burst out in establishing his own language of analysis of the macrosystemic issues that face the queer community -- issues that we see repeated and analyzed in his future works, particularly in ATOTS and BBS. In DBK, the major issues he tackles are socioeconomic inequality and internalized homophobia, and how these issues play out, internally and externally, among couples, their families, and their social worlds. 

These two issues crash headlong in the form of Non (played by the cutest-wutest AJ, who was SO! EVIL! but I wub him). Kao has to teach Non -- he must, because Kao needs the money to support his family, and his mom’s job would be at risk if she kept Kao, her son, from teaching her director’s son in Non.

Pete hates Non. Pete KNOWS Non is up to no good, and is after Pete’s man. Pete’s jealous of Non.

The simple equation here is: if Pete and Kao were out, then Pete wouldn’t have to feel jealous, because Kao could tell Non that Kao has a boyfriend. Pete is out to his dad. (BTW: PETE’S DAD IS THE BEST DAD IN BL, BAR NONE. PETE’S DAD NEEDS TO DAP UP WITH THUN’S MOM IN HCTM. P’Aof writes SUCH amazing parents. Gaipa’s mom FTW also.) 

I want to make quick reference to a meditation I wrote last week on pain and suffering in Asian BLs that notes this phenomenon -- what pain could have been either avoided or mitigated if a couple is able to be out. I’m of the belief that in Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, that Pat and Pran could have possibly avoided their tiff before the trip to Pha Pun Dao if they had been out. If they had been out -- Pat would not have had to fib about their relationship to his engineering bros, and Pran would not have overheard Pat saying that Pran always needed Pat. They could have avoided the confusion all together.  

Pete and Kao fall into the exact same boat -- this is where P’Aof births a concept that will repeat itself in OS2 x BBS. Pete wants Kao to be out to Kao’s mother, so that they can be out together, to everyone. And: Pete has financial stability and security.

Pete’s boxes are checked. Kao has much more tangled issues. Kao THINKS his mom will not be happy to find out her son is gay. AND: HE’S the breadwinner. (I actually thought this was a touch confusing in the show, as Kao’s mom is clearly a teacher -- but relies on Kao as if he’s the breadwinner.) In any case, it’s clear that Kao adopts the role as the male head of the family, while still depending on his mother for emotional fulfillment. 

In other words: Kao has a much more TRADITIONAL background to contend with. To me, that’s à la Pat, à la Uncle Jim, à la Phupha, even à la Ming. All of these men have their backgrounds, their roles, all laid out for them by family and society, through culture and expectation. 

That’s a lot for Kao to break from. Because Pete has confidence through the reality that his life’s needs are squared away, Pete HAS the emotional room and ability to push Kao to be out. And I think that’s why it takes Kao so long in the show to move forward and to meet Pete where Pete was at. 

Here’s my criticism of DBK. I think DBK is a lighter show than P’Aof’s other works (again, without having seen Still 2gether). I think that’s because P’Aof knew that he still had to hew to some of what Kiss and Kiss Me Again had given him by way of cinematography (a lighter and fluffier filmmaking style than his usual serious lighting and camera work) and by tone (much more soapy and a touch more dramatic than I’m used to seeing in his oeuvre). (Oh, but, but: THAT OPENING THEME, YES, FRIENDS, WAS A BANGER. SHEEEEET. THAT THEME SONG! THOSE CURTAINS! THE WIND! THE STARES. KAO’S TEAR. So good!)

And I’m not entirely sure that P’Aof was able to get as DEEP, internally, with Kao as maybe he could have if he himself had been able to write Kao from Kao’s very existent start in fiction. P’Aof was taking this already-established character through an emotional reckoning that still needed to stick with a kind of Kao that had been born in the previous Kiss versions.

It’s a minor quibble, but I think the Non storyline ran for too long. I think it could have wrapped up much more quickly. I think we got a lot more time with Sun and Mork than I could have expected because P’Aof kind of drew out Non to keep the 12-episode bundle together.

Again, minor criticism. However, I *did* happen to appreciate how much TIME Pete and Kao spent fighting towards the end of series. That lengthy disagreement allowed Kao to really begin processing his own internal change to recognize his love for Pete, and to play around with what he’d be willing to risk by way of his family to be with Pete. It allowed Kao to consider that he NEEDED to demonstrate personal responsibility to Pete, and even to his family. I really thought that was in-depth and brilliant, and despite minor quibbles about New’s acting, I thought New carried it very well.

What’s amazing to me, though, is that Kao CLEARLY MISSED that his mom TOTALLY KNEW that he was gay, ha. Kao was SO CONSUMED with concern for what his mother WOULD THINK, that he didn’t see -- with his own two eyes! with Pete at the dinner table! -- that his mom CLEARLY KNEW. Kao’s mom side-eyed that basically from the start of the series, honey.

Despite that, what took my heart out a number of times in this show is that P’Aof showed empathy to Kao, and maybe even to the viewers that may have missed Kao’s mom’s silent acknowledgement before Kao’s coming out at the end. P’Aof was telling all of us this in the end quotes at the end of his episodes -- another unique P’Aof trope that was birthed in HCTM, and that I absolutely loved seeing in DBK and ATOTS.

(As a mom, that first slide makes me LOL so much, because it’s so true.)

Even while I felt that some DBK episodes were a little too long, a little too drawn out, these end quotes brought me back to what P’Aof was working on achieving in regards to revelation: that our human existence is so much more enriched if we’re able to transcend our worldly bullshit, even a little bit.

We see that in Kao with his mom. We see that in PETE, with his willingness to calm the eff down, bruv, and focus on his studies, and focus on managing his anger, for the sake of Kao, and for the sake of his own future. We see that in Sun, as he reorganizes himself and his insecurities to become an even better barista (I LOVE COFFEE IN BLs). We see that in Mork, as he ALSO demonstrates a willingness to calm the eff down, to promise to stop fighting to Sun, and to work on his own internalized homophobia to meet Sun as a partner. 

(I’m not going to spend too much time on Sun and Mork, but I absolutely LOVED PODD AND GAWIN, and I REALLY liked Podd’s portrayal of Sun’s very strong forwardness in his attraction to Mork. I loved his CONFIDENCE. I thought it was sexy, it was rooted in queer love and attraction, and I thought it struck a different and OPEN tone of movement in relationship-building that I haven’t seen in the previous watchlist BLs. Sun reminded me a bit of our fabulous guys in Make It Right -- that kind of almost earnestly honest openness.)

I want to note, in conversations with the wonderful @lurkingshan​, that we realized that in HCTM and DBK, we saw the start of P’Aof making a few other subversive choices in his shows. I wish I were more of an expert on the impact of colorism in Thai media and society, but I can extrapolate enough as an Indian (unfortunately). I couldn’t even SEE that Tay was a shade or two darker than New, but so be it. @lurkingshan​ noted for me (thank you, Shan!) that it was a subversive choice for P’Aof to center Pete’s story of change, from a bruiser to a carer, within a character that was slightly more melanated than his co-lead. I note that P’Aof shows no concern over casting other melanated actors -- Ohm Pawat and Earth Pirapat, multiple times -- in major lead roles with lighter-skinned co-leads. I love these choices and that he’s pushing boundaries across fiction and non-fiction. (And that P’Aof focuses on the quality of the ACTING of these dudes, as well as their looks -- that they should not be overlooked for being melanated.)

Like I said earlier, DBK was a lighter show than others of his that I watched. It was the first show of his that I watched that had a pre-established universe in the Kiss series. But I still fell in love with it -- I couldn’t help myself. I mean, come awn, Tay Tawan. Holy noodles. 

Could Pete and Kao have had a touch more feral chemistry, à la Pat and Pran and Jim and Wen? Sure, but I’m not complaining. I think, as compared to the PeteKao Kiss BL cuts, that P’Aof got a TREMENDOUS amount more out of Tay and New (especially Tay -- Tay’s Pete in DBK and his process of change was FABULOUS).

And I noted one last connection from Kiss/DBK to BBS, as I closed out my watch with the non-P’Aof Kiss Me Again edition of Our Skyy. I noted that Pete and Kao planted a tree together. 

And then I remembered that P’Aof had beloved Pat and Pran do just the same in Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS.

Pete and Kao, Pat and Pran, plant a plant together that will grow and grow. The plant lives out in the open, growing tall, towards the sun.

It gives me the chills, a warm and fuzzy happiness, to see these patterns being born, and P’Aof paying attention to them (even if the plant idea wasn’t his originally) -- because these artistic, dramatic tropes end up communicating so much to me about the depth of love that P’Aof is able to render, through his and our beloved couples, in his utterly fabulous shows.

[Welp -- if you’ve been reading my late-night liveblogs, you’ll know that my brain has been IMPALED by TharnType. I finished the series this past weekend in the heat of angst, and I’ll do the rare thing of releasing two reviews in one week -- I’m planning right now to drop the TharnType review on Thursday. If you’re a TT fan, then trigger warning: I have lots of things to say about this show that are the most critical I’ve ever written about any drama. 

On another, MUCH HAPPIER note, after a FABULOUS conversation with the WONDERFUL @so-much-yet-to-learn​, I’ve added GAP the Series to this list. With Saint investing in it, after his whole deal with the PerthSaint and ZeeSaint mishaps, I’m just really impressed that an important figure in the BL world has taken active steps to invest directly in more directly queer content. I think GAP is a must on this watchlist to understand the direction that Thai QL in general is going -- especially with 23.5 on the way later this year. (EEEEEEE!)

With that, here’s the latest version of the list. As ever, I’ll take comments, recs, etc.!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018)  11) TharnType (2019) (review coming) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) (watching) 13) Theory of Love (2019) 14) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 15) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 16) 2gether (2020) 17) Still 2gether (2020) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 20) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 22) Lovely Writer (2021) 23) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 24) Not Me (2021-2022) 25) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 26) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 27) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 28) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 29) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 30) GAP the Series (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 31) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 32) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 33) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Love Sick/Love Sick 2 Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. I’ve covered SOTUS so far, but now I’m correcting for chronology, and present to you today my review of Love Sick.]

Well. I climbed the mountain and saw the view from the top. After 48 episodes -- BL edit cuts, mind you, but still, 48 episodes -- I finished Love Sick and Love Sick 2. 

Before I dive into the review, I want to meditate on something that kept cropping up for me as I was watching the show. I always say this in my writing, but I’m an #old cishet gal, in my early middle-aged years, and when I was in high school in the States, casual homophobia likely looked different than it does now, or maybe even at the time of Love Sick’s airing in 2014 and 2015. 

I’m not sure if young people in high schools do this now... or maybe they do. Maybe I’m clueless and just not watching enough Western and/or cishet content to know. But when I was a teenager in the ‘90s, “gay” was the adjective for everything. "This bagel is gay.” Your handbag was “gay.” Your handwriting was “gay.” The way in which you stapled your papers together could be called “gay” -- I literally heard that in high school, and I still remember it as being one of the dumbest things I had ever heard. And, of course, most doomingly for certain individuals -- many were labeled as “gay,” too. 

As I rejected much of the biases and racism that my Indian family operated by when I was growing up -- so I also rejected the nonsensical usage of the word “gay” as an adjective for anything else but someone’s sexuality.

I was a seriously protected, hugely nerdy Indian kid growing up. But I kind of inherently knew that this unconscious/conscious/implicit/explicit/simmering hate for a group of people vis à vis this adjective wasn’t for me. At that time of my youth, I didn’t actually know queer communities. I just didn’t want to be associated with biased people who insisted on seeming like utter idiots via their language against a minority group. 

(I’m aware now that “gay” as an adjective is likely being appropriated back by young queer communities, just like the word “queer” itself. I want to clarify that “gay” was NOT being used in a "nice” sense when I was a kid.)

I’m meditating on this because, of course, I watched Love Sick well out of order of my introduction to Thai BLs. I started with KinnPorsche, with The Eclipse, with Bad Buddy, and then began to correct that by watching SOTUS -- all shows that have dealt with homophobia in various ways...or seemingly not at all, in the case of BBS, and to just a touch of an extent in KP between Big and Porsche. 

So. I watched Love Sick to learn about Thai BL history. But my mindset is out of order, right? It’s because I’ve already watched many influential shows that carry the influence of Love Sick within them. (As I did in my SOTUS review, I’ll cite @miscellar‘s tremendous analysis of how Bad Buddy was based on Aof Noppharnach’s meta commentary on existing BL frameworks, and I’ll do a lot of comparisons to BBS in this piece, as I’m aware that P’Aof was influenced himself by Love Sick.)

In rewinding my perspective and my mind to set myself up to watch Love Sick: I wanted to be very aware of how this show would deal with casual homophobia among teenagers, and the ever-present question of how it would deal with the question of if the main coupling of Phun and Noh would fall into the “gay for you” category that I discussed in my SOTUS review, and that @absolutebl discusses in this post. 

If @absolutebl flagged Love Sick as likely problematic of mistakes that are being corrected for now -- of course, they’re right. The casual homophobia was rampant. The “gay” question was easily squelched, loudly and early by Noh, who clarified throughout the show that he was not, and never would, be gay. And Phun clarifies that as well, later in season 2. Our boys “called it love.”

Bad Buddy dealt with this differently, very obviously. There was no homophobia. Pat likes all genders. Pran will consider liking girls at some point, to Ink’s joy and advice that it’d be “gainful” for Pran to do so. 

But. (And I think P’Aof recognized this.) In history, we have to start somewhere. I had to get comfortable in my jibblies to watch this, and be reminded from whence I came, an environment of casual homophobia that very directly led to my deciding to live my life in part as an ally.

It’s unfortunate that I don’t get to read commentary on the regular about these shows from a Thai queer male perspective. (It’s why reviews from the very dear @bengiyo are so important for me to read, from his queer male perspective.) (And I think I need to watch more Soonvijarn.) I want to know, from a Thai queer male perspective, if it was OKAY for Love Sick to depict the casual homophobia that we saw, and if the perspective accepts Noh and Phun’s trajectory as a couple, calling their relationship not gay, but love. And certainly -- maybe that perspective has changed over the course of the airing of BL in Thailand, as expectations and artistic strategies have changed with the progress of time.

Throughout my liveblogging of my watching the show (and I want to take a second here to give a HUGE SHOUT-OUT to the DARLING MUTUALS who commented on my seriously late-night posts: @clairificusrex, @lurkingshan, @nieves-de-sugui, @aliceisathome, and many more, I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU AMAZING STANS!), I expressed a lot of love for Phun and Noh, and for other characters, too, like Yu, Per, and Win. (Yu and Per have a special place in my heart as allies-in-the-making, and Per trying everything to make Win, his BFF, happy -- and recognizing his limits while doing so.)

But now that I’m done with the show...I feel like a line of intimacy wasn’t crossed. Maybe I shouldn’t blame the show for this. The show WASN’T a BL. The show wasn’t SOLELY focused on Phun and Noh. Maybe the line of intimacy that I’m thinking of COULDN’T be achieved in a high school setting in 2014 Thailand.

I really wondered about the length of the show as I was watching it. For the MAJORITY of the second season, I thought the length HELPED the boys grow into their relationship. We really saw shades of gray. We saw shades of emotion, of development, especially from Noh to Phun. We saw Noh grow TREMENDOUSLY, maturely, figuring out his boundaries with lovely Yu. We saw Noh figure out his boundaries with Phun. I thought all of that development was truly lovely, very important to see between two young men, and gorgeous to watch. Captain acted the hell out of it.

At the same time, I think the length of the second second ultimately hurt the endgoal of the revelation of their relationship to their communities and family. To the end of the show, we were hearing that the boys were not gay. I think this was designed as a necessary part of their coming out in their relationship -- because I’m not sure that the airing of Love Sick 2 could have been considered successful at that time if it did NOT include that element, the element of MAKING SURE that the audience was TOLD that the boys were not gay. 

And I think -- because I watched things out of order, I’ve watched brilliant shows already correct for these mistakes -- that deflated me just a touch as I wrapped up the series.

As well, up until the VERY end, we saw that the boys were still in a place to consider heterosexual relationships, as in the case of Phun and his friend, Pam, who Noh confused for being a potential interloper. With Phun *not* communicating and clarifying to Noh immediately that Pam had a boyfriend, it set up a moment of real confusion for Noh, as if their already-committed relationship (which they had committed to multiple times already!) was on the rocks, for an interloper of another gender.

While I was watching it, I was confused -- I was wondering why the show needed THIS to close out Phun and Noh’s storyline. 

I wonder if it’s because, in 2014, the show could not have ended WITHOUT that question. The boys would be in a relationship now... but in the future, would things “straighten” out? (Of course, years later, we had ReminderS, which I haven’t peeped, but did establish that the guys were still together, as BL continued to be filmed and as attitudes slowly have changed.)

I think that if Love Sick 2 had ended after the pharmacy camp -- I would have felt settled and happy about this show. Phun and Noh ARE darlings, after all. Captain as Noh, his AMAZING ability to demonstrate a teenage kid’s overwhelmed reaction to the world around him so comedically -- it was really perfect. Both White and Captain are fantastic actors (especially as compared to Krist in SOTUS). 

But there was something about the ending that gave me the jibbles. As if the show couldn’t just leave the guys alone in their happiness. There HAD to be one more dramatic storyline that wasn’t clear. There HAD to be the clarification that the boys were not gay -- not to their schoolmates, not to Phun’s dad, not to the audience. No way were they gay. Again, I think this was where the length of the second season ultimately hurt this series.

And Ohm’s internalized homophobia as well. The way in which he rejected James, left James in the dust. The way in which things were left not quite clarified between him and Mick, although their relationship was alluded to at the end. (I might have missed some clarifications in the BL edits, but I ain’t going back to the full-length episodes to find out.)

And Earn and Pete. Good LORD, Earn. An “I fucking love you” next to the urinals? Dude. PETE COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU, EARN. (I frankly wanted to see Pete with Yu. Earn was the Thai version of The Situation from Jersey Shore, getting all up in Noh and Phun’s business and trying to break them up. Fucking Earn. SMDH.)

I have complaints. And I can’t help but think... yes, THIS is what Bad Buddy corrected for. THIS is what The Eclipse corrected for. With Kinn being out and out gay, THIS is what KinnPorsche corrected for. 

Phun and Noh found their love, which I am desperately happy for. Captain acted the HELL out of Noh -- I could not help but laugh out loud, night after night, at how Noh wiggled his way in and out of situations. He is, in Asian parental parlance, a good boy.

But, as dear @absolutebl meditated on, there were mistakes in this show that, thank goodness, are being corrected by the filmmakers that I have fallen for now. I see what Bad Buddy was doing. Instead of “I’M NOT GAY” -- P’Aof had Pran be gay, and Pat be bi, and Pran consider girls to Ink. That flow of that conversation among Pat/Pran/Ink/Pa -- that was sophisticated stuff. P’Golf had Akk say to his parents, not that he was in love with Ayan -- but that he likes men. 

I have previously loved these nuances in Bad Buddy and The Eclipse. Love Sick now makes me WANT THEM, HUNGRILY, as admissions of truth and acceptance. 

Do I need characters to be out and out, like Kinn? NO. That’s a person’s business, that’s a character’s business, if they want to define or call themselves gay. I’m not here to tell anyone where to land on the sexuality expression spectrum, that’s not my place. I’m not here to ASK anyone’s preferences. Just live. Pran certainly wasn’t out and out. He loved Pat -- that’s who he loved, he loved Pat, and there was no other nonsense, no other side explanations, no covering up or jibbly clarifying of any other positions. (And Pat’s statement was so simple, too: “I like both genders.” Boom, done, move on, live and LOVE and be happy.)

What was hard for me was the repeated denial of gay throughout Love Sick and Love Sick 2. I just didn’t think the show needed that -- because the love between Phun and Noh could have spoken volumes WITHOUT those statements. But I also get it. I get that the writers of Love Sick likely thought they NEEDED those statements in order to get the dang show aired in the first place, in 2014 Thailand. I get that there wasn’t that paradigm, yet, as leveraged by people like P’Aof, P’Jojo, and P’Golf, that lets love STAND as the STATEMENT ITSELF, à la Bad Buddy and The Eclipse.

I see what Love Sick did to begin setting up a tremendous, TREMENDOUS paradigm of BLs in Thailand. It was simply groundbreaking. And the ads! The advertisers were also making their statements. These boys were drinking and eating the Oishi like there was no tomorrow. That was big for nascent BL and capitalism accepting nascent BL.

But the show wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. And @absolutebl Sensei -- you nailed it by listing it as one of your three original recommendations for us understanding what GMMTV is doing, NOW, with their progressive and groundbreaking art. I’m glad I watched Love Sick. I’ll get more Phun and Noh when I catch up with ReminderS -- and I’m glad, for me, that Love Sick is over, and that I know that Phun and Noh end up happily together in drama land, hopefully in a place where their cinematic preferences are NOT in control of the fictional communities around them, and the real audiences watching them.

[For those of you who are following, I’m now going to make a purposeful dive into a few shows that cover a number of priorities. I’m going to watch Make It Right, Make It Right 2, and Love By Chance -- all to learn about the works of the very prolific New Siwaj, as recommended to me by @bengiyo. I’ll also be crossing off groundbreaking shows featuring my simpy darlings, Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon, who are currently destroying in Double Savage. Finally, with MIR and MIR2, I’ll learning more about the early high school pulps after having watched Love Sick. Here’s the road front and back. I’ll ALWAYS take input if anyone reading thinks that something’s missing on this list! 

AND AS ALWAYS: MANY, MANY THANKS TO THE FAM that always comments on these posts and gives me unbelievable feedback: @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @respectthepetty, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist, @clairificusrex, @nieves-de-sugui, @manogirl, @miscellar, @dribs-and-drabbles, @solitaryandwandering, and anyone that I may have missed! I so appreciate you all, and I LIVE for the conversations we have about these shows. 1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) 2) SOTUS (2016) (review here) 3) Make It Right (2016) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) 5) Love By Chance (2018) 6) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) 7) He’s Coming To Me (2019) 8) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 9) TharnType (2019) 10) Theory of Love (2019) 11) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 12) 2gether (2020) 13) Still 2gether (2020) 14) ITSAY (2020) 15) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 16) Not Me (2021-2022) 17) My School President (2022-2023)]