#pancake freakout?

[xayspancakeee]

as we approach the near end of the trace of divinity banner… ngl, i’m kind of freaking out?

chanced upon this post on Instagram about the upcoming banners and events:

credits to @ranxinghu over on Instagram

i want to be excited for the new ML’s coming in but part of me is also worried about how this is gonna play out in the long run?

like for one, the devs are gonna have to rotate the events for all 5 boys so that they all get equal amounts of the spotlight and lore that they deserve. - to me, i feel that this is definitely gonna cause some “droughts” for certain characters which should not be the case because imo, the game is already amazing with 3 MLs. the pacing and the story is already very good and it dosen’t feel too overwhelming in a sense whereby you have this urge to get as many “good”/ “desired” cards in your deck.

or it could be just me and my ocd wanting to have a full and complete deck for the boys? hah!

i guess it’s also a case of “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it” kinda feeling for me? but again, these are just my own thoughts and opinions. i would totally eat my words should the game get even BETTER with these additions.

this is also just a case of where i’m afraid of how to separate my love for 5 boys. as if 3 wasn’t enough, mama can’t handle too many gorgeous husbands, especially in this horrendus economy.

so… as i am reading this again, this boils down to it’s just a “me” problem. hah!

okay, byeeeee.

[trainsandkitties]

Idk if you’re still up for answering asks, but how do the lads handle getting sick?

>:3

Oh illness. The bane of their existance!

Thomas usually sleeps it off. He might complain a little, but it's not too annoying. He's usually pissed that he can't really go outside, but he's got his comics at home. Along with Percy being there to help nurse him back to health.

Edward will stubbornly insist he's 'fine'. He'll just pop an aspirin and it'll go away! Usually it does, but if he does get really sick, he still needs to be physically restrained from going outside because he's 'FiNe'. Sometimes said restraining needs to be as extreme as Gordon pancaking on top of him to force him to lay down. With both fussing at eachother, obviously.

Henry can get quite ill often and he tends to complain a fair bit. He does know his limits and usually prefers not to push them. He does prefer to go on sick leave just in case, not because he's lazy, but because if he doesn't stomp the illness out early, he'll wind up sick for a month at least.

Gordon, similarly to Edward will insist he's 'FINE', but with the immune system of a tuberculosis stricken, Victorian child, he usually won't be fine. He'll still drag his ass to work (only because Edward is too small for the pancake restraint method to work) and will only go back home if Sir Topham Hatt tells him to. Once he realises he is sick, he's unbearable though. Personification of mancold.

James overreacts of course. They play up their illness as if it was a deadly plague. Emily, being the unfortunate roommate is left to baby them (which she doesn't agree to usually). They are a personification of mancold as well, but skipping the 'I'm FiNe' step to full blown freakout.

Percy doesn't get sick often and when he does he doesn't make a fuss. He's a bit like Henry or Thomas in that regard, reacting appropriately. Though he sometimes milks it a bit to get Edward or Gordon to make him something nice to eat.

[blrecs]

07/50: same as it ever was (sagan sagan, "old-fashioned cupcake")

One of the hardest stories to write and be appreciated for is the ordinary love story between two ordinary characters. Summarized roughly, "Old-Fashioned Cupcake" is so nondescript and generic it feels like a blank template upon which other, more real stories might rest. A man who is nearing forty takes stock of his life and finds it lacking. His subordinate, who is ten years younger, is in love with him. For the thinnest of plot reasons, they begin hanging out. Eventually, they begin dating. Eventually, they are as good as married. Then, the story ends.

How do you even begin to describe Nozue and Togawa? They are barely characters, but not because they are poorly written. Rather, they are so well-written in their specific mundanity that talking about them feels like talking about boring coworkers or friends-of-friends you might know. Nozue in particular seems easy to describe at first, but becomes vaguer and less defined the more you examine him. He is not a traditional workaholic, who throws himself completely into his job and leaves no time for his personal life, or a traditional almost-40-year-old oyaji, who has allowed himself to become sloppy and pathetic. Instead, he takes care of himself, can cook and clean, but has no hobbies or passions. He is meticulous at work and about his own appearance but has allowed himself to be made complacent by the monotony of his day to day. You get the sense, perhaps unfairly, that Nozue has stopped trying and begun to coast. But he is so naturally good-natured and encouraging, so considerate and cheerful to his subordinates, and so allergic to taking on different and bigger responsibilities that he has remained steadfastly adored, though always at a distance, like the way one might treat a mascot or a neighbor's fluffy dog. 

In another story, a man like Nozue might face pressures (from work, from exes, from his friends and family) to do something more. He might, for instance, be encouraged to take on a hobby or visit a new café where he meets a younger, energetic lover who inspires him to change his life, and we would follow Nozue as he gets a brand-new lease on life, learns to appreciate what he has and is renewed by new experiences. And that does happen, in a way. In the opening chapter, Togawa invents a hobby called "taking Nozue on dates without actually calling them dates" so that he can bring Nozue to parfait parlors, souffle pancake restaurants, and the zoo. This brightens Nozue up considerably; by chapter 2, Nozue and Togawa are flirting in the work kitchenette while making coffee and someone pulls the classic "You look more cheerful lately, Nozue-san. Did you get a girlfriend?!" line.

But by chapter three, their teenage girl foodie roleplay ends. Nozue has settled down and come to the realization that his life isn't bad. "I've worked hard and it's earned me people's trust," he muses. "I should probably call on my own experiences and find more things to enjoy and share." He likes his life, even if it isn't exciting. He doesn't need new hobbies or dramatic anti-aging therapy. He just needs to ponder questions of happiness and life on his own time--and apparently, with Togawa by his side.

"Old-Fashioned Cupcake" is not a story about great change. Love does not necessitate Nozue reinventing himself to create a new life with Togawa. Instead, love is Nozue learning to let Togawa into the life he already has. The sequel, "Old-Fashioned Cupcake with Cappuccino," makes this even more obvious. When Nozue finally processes that he's dating his straight, male subordinate who is ten years younger than him and has a painful freakout about it, the stakes are simultaneously so big and yet so small. What is he asking Togawa to take back, exactly? House visits, dates near Nozue's house, making bento lunches, leaving two suits at Nozue's place, a spare key. That's all, and yet at the same time, this is indeed all their relationship consists of: the little things of Togawa's that have become a part of Nozue's life.

Nozue's crisis of faith, too, is solved not by a grand coming out gesture or any material changes in either his or Togawa's lives. Rather, it is through his friends and other coworkers reminding him that he's lived a good life, and that good life will come through for him. "Don't think you have to change who you are," Kirishima tells him. "You're a good person, a good man, and an occasional ass. Good thing you made yourself such a darling." It's because Nozue has always been teaching Togawa to find love in his work that Togawa decides it's his life that needs change, not Nozue's. "Life isn't like the movies," Togawa tells Nozue. "Problems don't end with one solution. And that's okay. If we fight over the same thing a dozen times, let's make up a dozen different ways." It's only because Nozue is so constant, so consistent a person, that Togawa is able to say this so confidently. It's because Nozue was part of Togawa, helped make Togawa into the man he is today, that Togawa is also able to give Nozue exactly the comfort Nozue needs.

Through Nozue, Sagan Sagan forgives us our complacency, our shying away from big consequential decisions, our need for comfort and the familiar. We -- the readers, the other employees on Nozue and Togawa's team, maybe even Sagan Sagan herself -- are drawn into Nozue's orbit, wanting nothing more for Nozue and Togawa than spending each day sleeping in, making apple pie, bickering about laundry, and having toothachingly sweet sex. But what more should life be? The reality is that the life Nozue had in the beginning of the series was fine. He had that revelation by chapter 3. The issue was simply that he needed to open it up for someone who appreciates it and him.

And by the end of "Old-Fashioned Cupcake with Cappuccino," Nozue does just that. He proposes, ring and all, to Togawa. Not while on onsen vacation, not in a romantic candlelit restaurant, but over an ordinary breakfast of natto and rice, in the ordinary apartment he now shares with Togawa, which is full of signs of their ordinary shared life. Togawa's name on a note taped under the nameplate. Moving boxes full of Togawa's camping stuff in one corner. And one detail that has totally slipped my attention, until just this week:

After the proposal, Nozue pours them coffee into cups labeled S and M. This is also the first time that Togawa (Minoru) calls Nozue by his first name.

Nozue's first name is Saki.

Those are couple cups…!

Addendum: I didn't know how to fit this into the essay, but I wanted to gush a little about how amazing the paneling and art is in "Old-Fashioned Cupcake" and its sequel. Sagan Sagan's art is so unique in her love of situating the characters in their space. More than any other bl mangaka I can think of, she loves to draw panels that look at the characters from great distance, on crosswalks or in subway stations or in an overhead shot while at the office. This is paired with loving closeups of insignificant things, like a pair of slippers or a box of tissues or Nozue's hands fiddling with pistachios while he confesses to Kakitani and Kirishima. These details all come together to make Nozue and Togawa's world feel tangibly real. These two approaches combine in a really masterful way by chapter 4. Nozue babysits a drunken Togawa at the train station after a mixer. As they wait for the last train, Sagan Sagan alternates between wider establishing shots of the station as Togawa lies prone on the bench and close-up shots of Nozue and Togawa's faces, then Nozue's hand as he reaches out but does not touch Togawa. The effect is to emphasize how close they are to each other, in the wide emptiness of the station, and yet how impossible it is for Nozue in his current state to close that last little distance with Togawa.

Then, in the remainder of the chapter, Togawa wakes up to find that Nozue has spent the night in his apartment (chastely!). Here, we see for the first time just how much of a slob Togawa is, when left to his own devices, and how he really must have hastily cleaned up everything before letting Nozue through the door in the previous chapter. Books and trash are scattered haphazardly across the apartment, a tie hangs out of a paper bag that is crammed full of clothes, the game controller that was previously shown tucked into a bookshelf now lies on the living room floor. This difference isn't even commented all -- it's just there, a detail of Togawa's characterization that Sagan Sagan took extra pains to establish.

At one point in volume one, Nozue bemoans that with Togawa, "I am getting caught up in the stupid details." But love, Sagan Sagan argues, is made up of these stupid details. Without these stupid details, there is no life together. The morning after Nozue and Togawa have sex for the first time, Nozue ponders what they should do with the rest of their day. He chatters about a dish he wants to eat, climbing equipment that Togawa wants to buy, baking equipment he is eyeing. These are little details that have never shown up onscreen before. It is the new life Nozue realizes he can have now, because he has Togawa. It is a life Nozue and Togawa have lived, are living, together and without us.

"Old-Fashioned Cupcake" and its sequel are available through SuBLime.

[daintyduck99]

"sorry, that was my first kiss." "i could tell." "...." "i'm kidding!" for some reason this gives me Willex vibes

Alex prides himself on his motor skills.

They're what make him an excellent drummer, and an awesome surfer, to borrow Reggie’s words. He rarely ever sends a stick flying or has a wipe out.

So it's a little infuriating when he wipes out on the beach, all because some smarmy, laughing asshole wasn't paying attention.

Then they shake their hair out, apologizing all the while with sincerely smiling eyes, and offer Alex a hand up, and oh, oh.

They're strong, and beautiful, and maybe not such an asshole, after all.

It's still infuriating that Alex loses control of his motor skills again. His knees buckle.

The beautiful surfer just laughs, not unkindly, and grips his hand tighter.

“Whoa, dude. I really pancaked you, huh?”

“Uh.”

Alex swallows, grimacing internally. Apparently he's lost all ability to function.

He tries again.

“Yeah. I should…my board…”

They hum. Their fingers slide out of Alex's in a way that sends sparks down his spine, and he has to work to suppress a shiver.

Alex's board suddenly obscures his vision. He jumps, only for his lips to twitch reflexively into a smile as they huff a laugh.

“Easy, Adonis.” Their easy grin pops out from around the board. “I'm Willie.”

Alright, okay. Just say your name. Your heart's pounding but it's fine! Just. Say it.

“And I'm not a horse.”

Great! Awesome.

If God is real, maybe he'll take mercy and smite Alex now, or send a tsunami.

But Willie shrugs, seemingly undeterred.

“Well, if you were, you'd be a pretty horse.”

A laugh crawls out of Alex's throat. It's not cute, like Julie's nervous little giggle when she's flirting with someone. It's. Um.

It kind of sounds like he's choking on sand.

All he really knows is that he's doing everything wrong, but Willie must like a challenge, or maybe they have a soft spot for awkward introverts. They coax Alex's name out of him, and get him to join them in the water, where he slowly relaxes.

He's in his element again, and it's easier to laugh and smile and yell and grapple with Willie. It's almost like being with the guys.

Then they go under, and come up laughing and sputtering, grasping each other's elbows, and Willie's eyes flit to Alex's lips, and it's not like being with the guys at all.

Not with how warm he feels, or the way his heart flutters, or when a shaky breath spills from his lips as Willie slowly leans in.

Alex lets his eyes fall shut, breathing out shakily again as their noses bump. His hands are locked on Willie's elbows.

They laugh quietly, with the same warmth that was just shining in their eyes, and anchor Alex with a gentle hand on his jaw.

Their lips touch softly, almost…tenderly.

Alex sighs, melting into the warmth seeping between them in every point of contact, and Willie deepens the kiss.

It should freak him out, but he's floating.

Distantly, he just tries to copy what Willie does. Eventually, they have to stop for air.

Willie laughs breathlessly. “Damn, Adonis.”

“Sorry,” Alex mumbles, ducking his head as the freakout hits. “That was my first kiss.”

“I could tell.”

Alex's head snaps up. He scowls, stung.

It's one thing to hear it inside his head. His brain is a rude, anxious bitch. But this…

Maybe his first impression wasn't so off.

“Alex? Alex!”

A frantic hand is flying in front of his face.

“I was kidding!” Willie exclaims, and something loosens in Alex's chest as he searches Willie's eyes. Guilt and panic swirl there in equal measure. “I'm sorry.”

Alex huffs a laugh. “Okay, yeah. I can tell.”

Willie cocks his head. He mirrors Alex's smile.

“That phrase is gonna haunt me, huh?”

And it does, for the rest of their lives.

[thatcartoonnetworkblog]

Cartoon Network Friday Spotlight: Adventure Time- “Burning Low”

I’m probably due for a full Adventure Time rewatch rather than just going through favorite parts.

I’m still particularly fond of Finn and Flame Princess’ relationship, as doomed as it was. Who can forget this episode, where it’s time in their relationship to go to step 2, aka smoochin’. Don’t even think about step 15!

Things get complicated when Princess Bubblegum finds out, and she tries to stop Finn from seeing FP anymore, which leads to one of the episode’s most iconic scenes, in an episode full of them. This one in particular has Finn’s perfectly placed freakout to PB, where he finally pours his heart out over his past unreciprocated feelings for her. While that’s not where she’s going, it’s a deserved moment that I come back to.

But who can forget Jake’s bacon pancake song, which inspired a dish at the Cartoon Network Hotel, or the explosive finish to the episode? This is loaded with good stuff, right around the show’s peak.

[laxmikitchenqatar]

🛠️✨ Filter Freakout? Nah—Here’s Your Quick Fix! ✨🛠️

🔥 PSA: Your kitchen filter isn’t just dirty—it’s basically a greasy crime scene. 🕵️♂️ Time to evict the gunk and reclaim your air!

🚨 “Should I Replace It?” (Spoiler: YES.) ▸ Grease globs = Your hood’s crying for help. 🥓 ▸ Mystery stench = Last night’s salmon is haunting you. 👻 ▸ Weak suction = Your stir-fry smoke is winning. 💨

💥 Why It’s a BIG Deal: ✅ Firefighter mode: Grease buildup = 🔥 risk. Don’t play with fate! ✅ Air you can taste (in a good way). 🌬️ ✅ Energy savings: A clean filter = a chill motor = lower bills. 💰

🔧 3-Step Filter Glow-Up: 1️⃣ YANK IT OUT (most filters snap free—no PhD required!). 2️⃣ Soak & Scrub (metal) or Toss & Replace (charcoal). ♻️ 3️⃣ Pop it back like you’re closing a TikTok dance. 💃

📅 Pro Tip: Pair filter swaps with National Pancake Day or Taco Tuesday 🥞🌮—you’ll never forget again.

👇 Spill the Grease: ➡️ “Be honest: When’s the last time YOU changed yours?” 🕰️ ➡️ “Worst filter horror story?” (We’ve all had a “grease waterfall” moment. 😱)

Tag your friend who still thinks Febreze fixes everything. 🧴

Like 👍 | Comment 💬 | Share 🔄 P.S. Your filter after pizza night: “I regret EVERYTHING.” 🍕💔 #FilterFairyGodmother #KitchenHacks #NoMoreGreaseMonsters #AdultingUnlocked

[hsincerely]

also i’m reading the pancakes chapter of quid pro quo and i’m quietly dying over val having a freakout about intimacy :(

[hag-o-hags]

Sir Eduardo H. Pancakes, you were named by committee, you've discovered the joy of windowsills, and you alarm the resident neurotic older gentleman.

Welcome to high society, Ed.

[xayspancakeee]

i’ve finally settled down and watched the trailer.

i’m not okay. (it was a ride)

so I’ll leave this thought here and circle back with random freakouts as we near the event.

Entwined Shadows = Veiled Whispers but BETTER (with kissing 💋)

[is-this-cat-video-cute]

Wholesome question about my cat! There’s nothing wrong per se, I just wonder if you have any ideas for how to make things better. Sorry in advance for the long ask, I just want to give context.

I have three cats - a mama and her two (full grown) kittens. They love each other so much and love to play together. However… one of the “kittens,” Pancake, has much more energy than his family. He is also super determined, smart, and tall. When his mom and sister are napping, he gets bored. When he gets bored, his favorite activities are trying to get onto the shelves above my TV (chewing the bird spikes), knocking paper off of the tables (and chewing on my textbooks), and just generally causing chaos. I know that he’s just bored, and when I can I try to give him all the attention he needs, but I have a lot of work I need to do and I don’t have time to play with him for hours.

My question is this: do you have any ideas for things he could use to entertain himself while I’m busy? I’m just looking for another perspective on this because anything to make him happy would make it easier for me to get work done. He loves jumping for things, solving puzzles, and playing chase. However, he’s usually pretty bored by toys that don’t move, and doesn’t like loud (motorized) toys. He loves chew and kick toys, and enjoys knocking things off of tables and chewing paper. (Don’t worry, he doesn’t eat it. I spent months making sure of it).

Like I said: I’m not asking in hopes of a be-all end-all, there’s no real problem here. I’m just wondering if you have any advice on how to entertain a smart, stubborn, energetic cat. Thanks so much for your time!

Here’s a picture of Pancake (left) and Pudding (right). Pudding is his mama. :)

First of all. EEEEEEE THAT PICTURE! 💖 Ahem. What i'm getting from this is: battery-powered toys freak Pancake out, and he really, REALLY likes paper. Plenty of toys are available online and in pet stores that have paper crinkled inside of them, which should be enticing enough on their own BUT some varieties come with catnip. You can also make them at home if you'd like to! Remember that bird spikes, or TV antennae, are electrified so it's not very safe for your cat to be chewing on. Try to discourage that behavior as much as possible for Pancake's sake. Good toys that have some life to them without having to be manually controlled are things like ball tracks (not sure if Pancake is into flashing lights, if so one with LEDs would be optimal) and any tassel/ribbon you can get to sway in either a light breeze or in front of a low-power fan. You could also try wind-up toys, just make sure to get Pancake used to the toy before winding it up the first time. Otherwise, ultra kitty freakout inbound. Hope this helps!

[spicycreativity]

Sanders Sides "things they would name their pets" lightning round

Remus: Definitely the most performatively weird thing he could think of. Ranges from short things like "Flaccid" to elaborate names like "Doctor Stradivarius MurderLord Eviscerator, PhD"

Janus: Would go to the library and find the thickest work of Eastern European existentialist literature he could get his little hands on and choose a name from there. He would then go home and look the book up on Wikipedia, then extensively read thinkpieces on said book, ultimately investing as much time in research as it would take to read the book. Why? For this moment:

Hapless Victim: What's your pet's name?

Janus, already smirking: Viléme

Hapless Victim: How did you come up with that?

Janus: Oh, have you never heard of renowned Czech philosopher Viléme Flusser? *10 minute summary of everything he learned on his Wikiwalk*

Patton: Would exclusively name his pets after baked goods. It's fitting when he has a brown dog or kitty, but not so much when he names his fish "Pancakes"

Virgil: Has a minor freakout because he can't commit to a name and ends up naming the pet after its species, ex naming his lizard "Liz"

Roman: Also can't commit to a name, so he chooses ALL of them. Think a cat named "Princess Christina Margaret Elaine Idina Sondheim-Disney the Fourth." ("What happened to the first 3?" Virgil asks with a knowing smile. "It's not a title; it's part of her name," Roman huffs, stroking Princess' back.)

Logan: Closely observes his pet's behavior, then assigns a personality match to a scientist or philosopher. If he picks a slightly obscure one, he swears it's just because the behavior matches up. His bunny rabbit acts exactly like Wilhelm Röntgen, really. Oh, you don't know who that is? Well, Logan would be happy to explain it to you.

[safflowerseason]

more succession 3.02 thoughts

- the ultimate evidence that Logan is genuinely afraid: his (fake) apology to Conor. he’s so desperate for his remaining children to not abandon him, he’ll even take the first pancake. i mean, this is the same man who admits to his estranged wife that he can’t actually apologize, just occasionally get distracted enough to “forget” that he did something wrong.

- but in general this episode is truly Logan’s lowest, weakest moment in the whole show so far, and it remains to be seen if it will be his weakest moment in this season. He really is just sitting in Sarajevo to see if Shiv and Roman have joined with Kendall. 

- these desperate, experimental “I love yous” Shiv keeps dropping on Tom are truly excruciating. I like that the balance of power has shifted slightly in their relationship, but Tom’s attempts to leave her dangling are so...awkward because of their transparency. 

- A part of Shiv really did think she could somehow just make off with the incriminating papers and the whole thing would be over. 

- a funny little note is the show’s accurate send-up of how billionaires are obsessed with history, particularly ancient history and military history. 

- Shiv appeared most genuinely interested in Kendall’s pitch when he was doing the whole “information will be more precious than water” bit. The camera zoomed right in on Roman’s face right after Kendall said that if they got rid of Logan, Stewey and Sandy would end their attempted takeover. 

- the show dug more into the truth/lies tension with this episode. usually the show explores that topic via ATN, as a kind of microcosm of how Logan has constructed his own reality. but this episode contrasted the different characters lying and telling the truth more explicitly. ex, Kendall lying about Stewey literally seconds after giving a speech about “the truth”, the siblings cross-cutting each other with different truth and lies about their intentions for coming to visit Kendall. Neither Shiv or Roman can tell Kendall the truth, but do spill their guts to their respective “partners.” Gerri tells the truth most consistently throughout this episode, but primarily because we only see her interact with Roman. (Also, if I were Logan and Shiv, I wouldn’t bet on using Gerri as a corporate haz-mat suit.)

- Jeremy Strong has this truly great way of playing Kendall when he’s spewing corporate aspirational rants in such a way that you know Kendall doesn’t actually believe in what he’s saying, but it’s also so clear that he thinks he believes it. 

- Greg is siloed off in his own corner for most of this episode, but I can’t imagine he’ll stay there for long...both Kendall and Tom need him too much. And Greg has revealed his secrets to one more person, but unlike Tom, Kendall has much less of a reason to keep silent about Greg’s role in all this. 

-  I remain by intrigued by Siobhan’s borderline hysterical “what if what if” freakout to Tom about allying with Kendall, even though she ends the episode pleased with her dad’s new job offer. I think she’s honestly the most pissed about the fact that Kendall didn’t plan this better. 

- the final sequence of Logan exiting the plane is truly *chef’s kiss*. Roman’s greeting! (ooooof) Shiv refuses to get out of the car! Tom has to get out of the back seat so Logan can sit next to Shiv! Connor and Marcia nowhere to be found, for different reasons!  Everyone is color coordinated in different shades of blue! 

[ninja-muse]

Mid Year Book Freakout Tag

Stolen from @lettersfromthelighthouse.

How many books have you read so far?

99, only three of which have been rereads. (Though six of them have been picture books, which feels a little like cheating.)

What genres have you read?

Fantasy and historical fiction, mostly, but also mystery, science fiction, romance, literary fiction, YA and middle grade contemporaries, graphic novels, alternate history. For non-fiction, I’ve read true crime, a business/biography thing, history, science and nature writing, film criticism, sociology, and memoir.

Best books you’ve read so far in 2021:

Cloud Cuckoo Land - Anthony Doerr


Flyaway - Kathleen Jennings

The Liar’s Dictionary - Eley Williams

Empire of Pain - Patrick Radden Keefe

The Warmth of Other Suns - Isabel Wilkerson

We Had a Little Real Estate Problem - Kliph Nesteroff

Ace - Angela Chen

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2021:

The Ruthless Lady’s Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner. I liked a lot about Unnatural Magic but I rarely hit “Ooh this is good and fun” the way I did with Ruthless Lady’s. The runner-up is obviously The Hidden Palace by Helene Wecker, which was a very solid sequel but ultimately gave me exactly what I liked from The Golem and the Jinni.

New release you haven’t read yet, but want to:

Oh gosh. So many? Um. To start with…

Appleseed by Matt Bell

The Ship of Stolen Words by Fran Wilde

A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum by Emma Southon

The Lights of Prague by Nicole Jarvis

The Ratline by Philippe Sands

A Radical Act of Free Magic by H.G. Parry

What Abigail Did That Summer by Ben Aaronovitch

The Witness for the Dead by Katherine Addison

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year:

The Liar’s Knot by M.A. Carrick, A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske, and No Gods, No Monsters by Cadwell Turnbull.

Biggest disappointment:

Persephone Station by Stina Leicht. It sounded absolutely amazing, but the book I expected wasn’t close to the book I got, and the pacing was distinctly off-balance for me.

Biggest surprise:

The Liar’s Dictionary by Eley Williams (an “oh sure why not” book turned into a best of the year)

The Mask of Mirrors by M.A. Carrick (I knew it was my jam but didn’t expect it to be so much so)

Fred Gets Dressed by Peter Brown (did not expect the queer positivity at all)

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr (another “sure why not” that I finished thinking, “yep, that was decently good” but it’s somehow in my top 5 novels.

Favorite new author (debut or new to you):

M.A. Carrick, Angela Chen, and Eley Williams are all authors whose careers I’m going to be following. I’m also going to have to read more Christine de Pizan, and after loving two books from Patrick Radden Keefe, I’ve added his backlist to my TBR.

Underrated gems:

Most of the books I’ve liked, tbh. Narrowing it down to:

The Book of the City of Ladies by Christine de Pizan (medieval women really don’t get a lot of play on booklr for some reason)

The Jane Austen Society by Natalie Jenner (if you like “love of reading” stories and historical fiction, this is for you)

The Raft of Stars by Andrew J. Graff (hope, boyhood, nature, changed lives)

We Had a Little Real Estate Problem by Kliph Nesteroff (history of Indigenous comedy)

The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Wliliams (another “love of reading” historical”

The Liar’s Dictionary by Eley Williams (funny, clever, perfect)

The Mask of Mirrors by M.A. Carrick (nobody is talking about this fantasy why?)

The Cold Vanish by John Billman (wilderness disappearances, will appeal to true crime people)

Newest fictional crush:

I’m aroace, I don’t have crushes

Nadim from Accidentally Engaged (Farah Herron) would make a pretty decent boyfriend for a lot of people, I think. Mostly I just want to get pancakes with the One Last Stop crew, though.

Newest favorite characters:

…… the One Last Stop crew?

Book that made you cry:

The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams.

Book that made you happy:

Vampenguin by Lucy Ruth Cummins is a delight.

Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year:

Flyaway by Kathleen Jennings.

How are you doing with your year’s goals?

99/150 books

31,161/50,000 pages

42% on my BIPOC authors challenge

62% on my queer fiction challenge

35% on my Canadian authors challenge

But the challenges I keep doubling up on the prompts for and they don’t have end dates.

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

All of these ones

Not tagging anyone because I don’t know who’s done it. Nab if you want to but please tag me!

[i-am-church-the-cat]

More Than Best Friends (Mega Best Friends?)

Fandom: 9-1-1, 9-1-1 Lone StarPairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley & TK Strand, Pre-Relationship Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz WC: 2344Summary: “Well, I’m sorry if I was a little preoccupied with the whole suddenly liking guys thing to notice my giant crush on my best friend!”TK just snorted again. “Crush? Buck, I hate to have to tell you your own feelings, but you’re in love with the guy.”“...WHAT?!”Or TK is a good friend and helps Buck figure some things out

Read on AO3 or under the cut

“I didn’t feel like going in alone and making it awkward so I asked Taylor-” “Wait wait, who’s Taylor?” Buck paused from wiping down the kitchen counter at the station. He had his phone tucked between his shoulder and his ear as he went through his chores, TK listening as he explained his week. These weekly calls between the two of them had started about a week after the 118 left Texas - Buck had called TK at midnight freaking out over his delayed bisexual freak out. TK had talked him down and since then, their calls were almost as frequent as Buck’s talks with his therapist. He hadn’t realized how much he needed a friend outside of work until he had been able to talk about his life with someone who hadn’t lived it with him. He had a feeling it was helping TK too, at least, he was still picking up his calls. “Oh right. She’s um... It’s kind of complicated but she’s a news reporter, the 118 saved her on a call and we hooked up a few times, and then I saw her again at the robber on the roof thing.” “Ah,” TK’s voice came back a little delayed. Buck wasn’t surprised, he was also in the middle of a shift. “So you asked an ex-fling to go on a double date with you?” Buck groaned. “Now, you say it like that and it sounds like a bad idea.” “Well was it?” The blond’s silence was telling and a snort came from over the line. “You should’ve called me, dude. I am well-versed in awkward romantic situations.” “Oh, you are aren’t you?” “Yep,” TK popped the ‘p’ and Buck shook his head, mindlessly returning to his cleaning. “I’ll make sure to do that next time. Can I get back to my story now?” TK grunted in refusal. “Just one last thing. Why didn’t you ask Eddie to go with you?” Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. TK always seemed to manage to bring him up in their conversations - Buck refused to think about how much he talked about the man himself - and Buck didn’t get it. “I can’t ask my best friend to go with me to dinner with my roommate and his girlfriend. Besides, he’s dating the vice principal, Ana.” “Her? Haven’t they only gone on like three dates? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t count as dating until the fifth,” his tone was teasing but there was an undercurrent of something Buck doubted he would be able to name until he knew TK better. Still, his words struck something wrong inside of him and he ducked his head. “He um. He introduced her to Christopher.” “Wait really?” TK sounded shocked. Buck was a little too. “How did Christopher take it?” Buck laughed humorlessly. “He used Eddie’s phone to order an Uber to my place.” TK was quiet for so long after that that Buck pulled the phone back to make sure he was still on the line. He pressed it back to his ear and said questioningly, “TK? You there?” “Oh sorry dude, yeah yeah. Just… he went to your place?” “Yeah, crazy right?” Buck was touched Chris trusted him so much but still couldn’t wrap his head around it. “No, actually,” TK replied, to Buck’s surprise. “It makes perfect sense. Think about it, when you’re mad at one person, you go to the other.” “I- what?” Buck blinked in confusion. Was he going crazy or did TK just imply he was Chris’s other parent? “Chris isn’t my kid.” Even though it was the truth, it still hurt. TK made a noise and somehow he could tell the younger man was rolling his eyes, even without seeing him. “Buck, I’ve been talking with you for how many weeks now? You talk about Christopher the same way Tommy talks about her kids. Utterly smitten and protective.” Buck opened and closed his mouth a few times like a gaping fish. He tried to deny it but… a small part of him couldn’t help but ask if he was right. He loved Christopher and he knew the kid loved him back. He knew he was Eddie’s kid and that was never going to change but. Sometimes he felt like Buck’s too. Before Buck could think of someone to reply, there were voices in the background of the call. He heard some shuffling and multiple voices, letting him know he had been put on speaker. “Hey, Buckley,” a voice Buck recognized as Captain Owen Strand’s came through the phone. “You finally accepting my offer to come down here.” “Ah, you know I would love to, but my family’s here in LA,” Buck said, just like every time. It was a running joke with them - though some days it felt less like a joke and more and more like a “We’re there if you need us” from the Strands. “I completely understand. But hey, you’ll say hi to Nash for me won’t ya?” “Of course. Actually, he told me you still owe him from that bet…?” Buck wasn’t completely sure about Owen and Bobby’s relationship. Just that they had met at the academy, lost touch, and then reconnected after the whole wildfire incident. He could hear TK snicker as Owen protested loudly. Buck chuckled when he noticed Bobby himself coming up the stairs, eyebrows raised at Buck’s lack of tidying up. Shit, he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. “Uh, I gotta go, you should talk to him about it. Let’s talk later okay, and TK I’ll send you my pancake recipe.” “Great thank you. We’ll talk later man.” They hung up just as Bobby was approaching Buck. He shoved his phone in his pocket as Bobby’s eyebrow didn’t lower. “Who were you talking to?” His captain asked, sounding too innocuous for the undertone of the question. “Uh, the Strands. Owen says hi, by the way, and that he definitely did not lose that bet,” he gives him what he hopes is an innocent shrug Bobby looks less suspicious and more teasing. He always was where Owen was involved it seemed. “I guess I’ll have to call him myself then. Were he and TK not on shift?” “Nah they were. It was just time for…” Buck trailed off, not sure what to call his weekly talks with TK. Life updates? Staying in touch? One bro helping out another through his sexuality crisis at 29 that turned into a Thing? “TK called me.” He finally settled on since it was the truth. Bobby gave him another look before nodding. “Well, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work.” He said pointedly. Buck quickly nodded. “Yep, no, no interfering here,” he gave him a grin and went back to cleaning. He could feel Bobby’s amused shake of the head before he turned to head back downstairs. Buck sighed quietly and sent TK his promised pancake recipe before getting back to work. *** It wasn’t until he was back home that the content of his conversation with TK actually hit him. He was getting home, not surprised to see Albert already passed out on the couch. Buck’s shift had ended at 6 am which meant Al had already been back home for two hours. The blond was going to take a shower and follow his lead when all of a sudden it came back to him. TK said Buck was Christopher’s other parent. There was a lot to unpack about that - though he was steadily ignoring the small part of him that felt validated - but the thought that slammed to the front of his brain was ‘What about Eddie?’ Of course, TK never said Chris wasn’t also Eddie’s kid and it was absurd to think otherwise. No, the reason that thought was at the forefront of Buck’s worries was that if they were both Chris’s parents, what did it make them? Do best friends usually raise kids together? What would Buck even know about that? ‘If Chris is my kid, does that make Eddie my partner?’ he thought and woah, he was not prepared for the wave of… something that accompanied it. Eddie had been called his partner before - he was his partner at work, people regularly called them partners in crime - but it felt different. Equal in significance but different in meaning. And what the hell did that mean? It was almost 8 am in Austin and Buck knew TK had a shift at 10 today so he didn’t even think before pulling out his phone and pressing the now familiar number. “Wow, back-to-back days, is this Veronica thing really bugging you or what?” TK asked as soon as he picked up the phone sounding blessedly awake and clearheaded. The same could not be said about Buck, however, as instead of a greeting he blurted out, “Am I in love with Eddie?” There were a few moments of silence before TK lost it and loud laughing could be heard over line. Which, in Buck’s opinion, was not helpful, thanks. He was having a bisexual - or was it gay because Eddie was a guy? No, Buck was a bisexual and he didn’t become less bisexual by freaking out over a guy - freakout over his best friend dammit! It took a while but eventually, TK got control over himself. “You’re just now finding that out? What have we been discussing the past few months?” ‘Months? Wait, was this why TK always let him ramble about Eddie to him? Also if it was so obvious, why didn’t he tell him?!’ Buck voiced his complaints which only seemed to make TK more amused. “Excuse me for thinking that you suddenly realizing you were bisexual at 29 had something to do with your ridiculously hot and tactile best friend whose kid you are half-raising.” Again with the parent comments. TK was going to make BUck cry at this rate. “Well, I’m sorry if I was a little preoccupied with the whole suddenly liking guys thing to notice my giant crush on my best friend!” Oh. Oh. Did he just admit to liking Eddie? His painfully straight best friend Eddie? Well shit. But instead of sounding surprised, TK just snorted again. “Crush? Buck, I hate to have to tell you your own feelings, but you’re in love with the guy.” “...WHAT?!” There was a sound painfully close to a wince from the other side of the line. “I’m going out on a limb here and saying you didn’t know that either.” No. No, Buck certainly hadn’t known that. At least, he doesn’t think he did… “What am I going to do?” He asked, sounding sad and a little hopeless even to his own ears. It was just like him to fall in love with someone so tragically unavailable it wasn’t even funny. TK sobered a bit and let out a sigh. “I don’t know man. Sorry, I wish I did.” Buck slowly sat down on his bed. He doesn’t even remember when he had stood up to pace around the loft. Okay, so a few things to digest here. He was apparently in love with his straight and taken best friend who he was also helping raise a kid with and he was very likely to be the last to know. Seriously. Shit. “Look, if it makes you feel any better,” TK said slowly. Buck sat up a little straighter. “I think he likes you too.” “What?” He blinked at nothing. “But- but he’s not- he has a girlfriend.” “Compulsory heterosexuality is a bitch, I’ll give you that,” Buck knew what that was from their talks, recognized it as something he had likely done in the past, but didn’t really understand it. “But from the way you talk about him, and from what Marjan tells me his Instagram looks like, the only reason you aren’t married is that neither of you bothered to notice you could be.” That… huh. “Are you sure?” “Pretty sure. I will admit my gaydar has been off a little bit as of late, but you two already act, look, and talk like a couple. Now you just need to acknowledge it.” TK made it sound so easy. And he knew, even if Eddie didn’t feel the same, he wouldn’t disregard Buck’s feelings - which was the thing he was most scared of about coming out. It might take them a while for him to understand them but they would be out there in the open. The only thing was- “He’s still dating Ana,” Buck said, voice sounding surer. “He just got Christopher to accept it. I can’t- I won’t take that away from him.” The line was quiet for a bit before TK spoke again. “Hey, no, I get it, man. Just figured you should know.” Buck nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate it, TK. Thank you.” “Anytime, it’s what I’m here for.” He could hear the grin in the brunette’s voice. “You’re gay sherpa remember?” Buck laughed, feeling lighter and heavier all at the same time. “Yeah, I remember. Seriously though. Thank you, for everything. It means a lot.” “Whenever you need me,” TK assured. He wasn’t sure how the Strands had picked up on it but they seemed to know Buck didn’t have a lot of people he felt he could rely on, even now. “Hey look, I hate to leave you, but Carlos is getting off shift soon-” “Yeah, go go, it’s fine,” Buck was quick to reassure him. And it was fine even it didn’t feel like it. “Go be with your boyfriend.” “I will. Hey, you be safe alright?” “Yeah, I will. Thanks again.” “No problem. Talk to you later.” “Yeah later,” Buck waited for the line to go dead before pulling his phone away from his ear. It was getting closer to 8 am. Buck could crash out now or he could drive to the Diaz’s in time to take Christopher to school. Buck was out the door a few minutes later, bed unslept in and the apartment still ringing with the conversation from that morning. 

[beyondcanon]

fanfic: a family wedding

wow. what a wild ride. how much i missed writing and didn’t even realize.

wynonna earp/wayhaught. Waverly and Nicole’s wedding turns everyone into a bridezilla. Complete. Read on AO3.

Read Chapter One

ii.

Jeremy is wearing all black, with an earpiece and clippings, fussing over a gigantic ice swan being carried by four large men/demons.

The statue wobbles and he squirms. "Careful!"

"You are not going to ruin this marriage, people! C'mon!"

The same old, beat-up blue pickup truck arrives, boxes and more boxes perched on top. Wynonna opens the door, leather jacket glistening in the cold autumn sun.  The wind blows her hair like a L'oreal ad and she takes off her sunglasses in slow motion.

"Nothing can go wrong with this amount of booze, Jeremy." She smiles, licking her upper lip and tapping the pickup's ceiling three times. "Trust me."

"I'll believe it when I see it and complete a thorough inventory."

Wynonna rolls her eyes, but there's no bite to it, much like getting used to your family's quirks as a destiny. She sips from her flask. "As long as I get quality control duty."

-

The bright sun wakes Nicole, stretching over her skin. She grunts and turns to find the other side of the bed... empty? Cold?

"Waverly?" Eyes darting open and reaching for her gun under her bed, she sits up in a rush.

Her soon-to-be-wife is sitting on the armchair, painting her toenails. The sun creates a halo across her hair; she smiles, the corner of her eyes crinkling. "Morning, baby."

Nicole lets out a shaky breath and hides her gun again. "Sorry, I-" She scoots closer to the edge of the bed. "I got scared for a moment."

Waverly offers her a soft, soft look. The soft pink robe reaches the floor as she walks the few steps between them. "I woke at the crack of dawn and couldn't sleep, thinking about marrying my best girl."

Hands on Waverly's hips, Nicole pulls her closer to stand between her legs. "Excited?"

"I painted my nails and did my eyebrows and my hair was such a mess," Waverly straddles Nicole's lap, "I had to do something about it, and then I re-wrote my vows twice, first in my head and then on a piece of paper, which I hid it from your curious eyes." She chuckles when Nicole hides her face in the crook of her neck and takes a deep breath.

"And here I was, thinking someone would wake up with a hangover."

"Never." Waverly huffs, squeezing Nicole's shoulders. "Then I started thinking about you, pretty face and great butt, but I couldn't bring myself to wake you up. You looked so cute and I want to marry you already," she whines.

Nicole pulls back and takes a long moment to look at Waverly's face, hand placing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What are you thinking?" Waverly tries to read her expression and fails. "Are you having second thoughts?" Her eyes widen and Nicole blinks three times. The words stalling falling from her mouth in quick succession, barely a shred of a second to think, "Because that's totally normal for the bride or groom to get really nervous with such a big decision, and we decided to spend the night together so there's no one to calm you down besides me, which isn't going to help much, because I'm the girl that got you stuck here with a big responsibility and a ring on your hand and I-"

She's so cute. Nicole smiles and kisses her, gentle and sweet, one hand cupping Waverly's cheek. It does get her to stop babbling.

"I love you." She joins their foreheads and Waverly takes a deep breath, still a pout on her lower lip. She licks and kisses the pout away, scratching the back of Waverly's neck until she lets out the little sigh Nicole knows so well. "Wherever you go, I go. This is it, baby. You and me."

A loud knock startles them both. "Are you decent?"

Nicole grunts and throws her body back on the bed.

"And Wynonna." Waverly laughs. "Come in!"

Bottle in hand and reeking of whiskey, Wynonna stumbles in.

Nicole raises an eyebrow. "It's 10 am."

Wynonna waves and scoff. "I have something important to say." She stops in the middle of the room and looks at Waverly and Nicole.

"I don't want you to move out." She takes a deep breath. "I like having both of you around. It's... better. Safer. We haven't talked about it, but I know you're probably planning to move to Nicole's-"

"Hey," Waverly answers like she's trying not to scare a kitten. She gets up and gets closer to her sister. "You're not losing me."

"Us." Nicole sits up on the bed.

Wynonna takes a gulp and winces. "We can fix the house, get you more room, better locks, soundproof the entire place, anything you want."

"Wynonna," Waverly whispers, a hand on her sister's arm and eyes watering.

"We built something good, baby girl." Wynonna sighs. "All of us. Together."

Nicole looks at Waverly and they have an entire conversation between them.

She gets up to stand in front of Wynonna. "We'll always fight by your side." She grabs the bottle as Wynonna tries to take another sip. "I'm sure we can figure something out."

Wynonna takes the bottle back and shrugs. "Whatever. Just... think about it. It's not like I'm charging you rent or anything."

Waverly goes in for a hug, but Wynona scurries away without closing the door.

"That was..." Nicole breathes out. "Unexpected."

Wynonna peaks her head on the door. "I'm dealing with a lot of shit." She drinks from her bottle and leaves again.

-

The kitchen is a mess of pans, pots, and seasonings.

Rachel points at the table. "I've made you breakfast. Doc said you both need a full stomach to start the day." She shrugs like she doesn't even care. "He also said he expects you for Best Cowboy duties in 30min."

Waverly claps and does a little jump. "What are we having?"

"Vegan chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled tofu, tea, and a green smoothie for you." She places on the table a procession of dishes. "Real eggs with bacon, a cappuccino, and french toast for Nicole because she doesn't need to suffer the indignity of eating vegan on her wedding day."

They take a seat. "It looks amazing." Nicole smiles. "Thank you, Rachel."

"Yeah." Rachel grunts, taking powdered sugar and finishing the pancakes. "I figured I was your best shot at eating something edible."

It tastes every bit as good as it looks.

-

Nicole pulls Waverly by the waist until they are flush against one another. "Good luck with the best ladies." She steals a kiss, and then another.

"Good luck with the Best Cowboy." Waverly smiles, coy, messing with the lapel of Nicole's jacket. "Don't do anything too crazy."

Nicole could kiss the daylights out of her. "Can't wait to see you in a wedding dress."

"Oh, you're going to love it." Waverly's voice drops two octaves too low and Nicole shivers. "Later, gator." She pushes Nicole out the door and enters the house giggling.

Nicole looks around the front yard filled with people coming and going. Doc arrives from a distance.

She jumps when Mercedes screeches, further terrorizing the catering crew. "Unacceptable! Don't you people know how to fold a cloth napkin properly?"

She demonstrates three times and makes them prepare and place each one to perfection. A young boy tires and folds the wrong way.

Mercedes hisses. "I will kill you and your whole family."

The boy gets it right the second time.

Nicole mouths an apologetic "She doesn't mean it," even though she knows Mercedes does very much mean it.

Doc arrives, thankfully. "Let me take you away from the madness, Sheriff." He opens Charlene's door for Nicole.

"Not a moment too soon." Nicole jumps in.

-

Nedley, clean-shaven and dressed in a handsome wool suit, is waiting for them at Shorty's. "I took the liberty of getting the first round started." He points to the drinks on the counter.

"You know how to please a man," Doc sighs and takes his hat off, downing his whiskey in one gulp.

If that man isn't Wynonna's soulmate, no one is.

"How are you feeling?" Nedley helps Nicole out of her coat. "Getting the jitters?"

"Not really." Nicole walks with him towards the booze. "I wish the wedding started already. I can't wait."

"Young love." Nedley gives her a knowing smile. "Just a couple more hours, darling."

Nicole smiles back and grabs her drink.

-

The phone rings across the room.

Nicole rushes to it. "Is everything okay?"

"No demon, Sheriff." Wynonna scoffs. "With Peacemaker and Rosita, we're more than covered. Your girl, however, is having a little freak-out."

Waverly can be heard in the background. "I am perfectly reasonable!"

"Could you tell your woman you still want to marry her?"

Nicole bites back a smile. "Sure."

A moment later: "Hi, sweetie."

"I heard my best girl is having a little freakout."

"Am not."

Nicole can hear the adorable pout in her voice. "I can't wait to be married to your beautiful face, you know." She hums. "Watching you walk down the aisle. Having that ring on your finger."

Waverly sniffs. "Really?"

She overhears Wynonna's fake puking and Waverly's whispered "stop it".

"Mhmm. Celebrating with our family. Carrying you inside the bedroom and having my way with my wife."

Waverly sighs. "It feels so good when you say that."

"Wife. Partner. Love of my life." Nicole's voice is pure honey. "My wife, and no one else's."

Waverly purrs. "I can't wait, too. I bet you look so sharp."

Nicole smiles because she does: brown pants and vest, crisp white shirt, hair down in delicate waves. "I bet you look drop-dead gorgeous."

"Can we get married already?"

"Just one more hour, baby."

-

No trace of chaos and confusion when Nicole arrives:

Decoration in place, flowers everywhere, ginormous ice swan, blue sky smiling at her.

Jeremy greets them in a dark grey suit, earpiece still in place. "Welcome to your wedding, Nicole."

Arms locked with Doc, she smiles and allows Jeremy to lead them.

The guests stand up — the whole town, in their best Sunday attire.

Doc's firm hand over hers keeps hers from trembling. "One foot in front of the other. That's all there is to it."

The music begins: it’s Ella and Louis' Tenderly.

They walk slow and sure, locking eyes with the crowd as they pass.

The altar they made themselves over two laborious weeks looks perfect.

Nicole takes her place, Doc right behind her.

Heart thumping, mouth dry, she has no idea how much time passes before the music changes to Cheek to Cheek.

Waverly and Wynonna appear, arm in arm.

Waverly waves with a nervous smile, and they lock eyes. This is it.

Yes, Louis, her heart beats so she can hardly speak.

Her dress is so pretty. She's everything Nicole has ever dreamed of.

She dries a stubborn tear or two, breath caught.

Wynonna clears her throat. "Make an honest woman out of my sister, will you?" They take their time in their hug; this time it's not awkward. "I will skin you alive if you do anything to her and I will enjoy it."

"Noted." Nicole chuckles, squeezing Wynonna one last time before stepping back.

She offers a hand to Waverly, who takes it to climb the one step to stand in front of Nicole. "Gorgeous," she mouthes.

Waverly's brown eyes sparkle. "You're here."

She takes Waverly's hands. "I am."

Nedley begins his speech. He talks about union, love, and dedication. All Nicole sees is how Waverly's hair catches the light, the smell of lavender and honey, and the cool autumn breeze against her skin.

-

The silence falls thick, the air pregnant with expectation.

"Nicole, you turned me inside out since I first met you. Thank God Shorty didn't fix that tap." She gives a bright smile, squeezing Nicole's hand. "I never thought someone so generous, so loving, could exist, and yet here you are, standing in front of me. You give me more than I could ever hope to get out of this life. You see me." She makes a long pause. "I love every part of you. I promise you everything I am."

"Waverly..." She takes a deep breath. "You have the most kind, beautiful soul I have ever met. I'd be crazy if I didn't fall for you, if I didn't fight for us. Every time you look at me, my heart flutters with how much love I carry for you in my whole body." Her voice trembles. "I'll follow you wherever you go. I'll choose you, again and again, and again, as long as you'll have me. You are my destiny."

She slides the ring on Waverly's finger with trembling hands.

Waverly draws a sharp breath before taking the other ring and doing the same.

Nedley declares them officially married.

"Finally," Nicole sighs. She pulls Waverly close, turning and bending her backward before giving her a deep kiss.

The crowd cheers, fireworks exploding in the sky.

-

The food looks amazing, but Nicole wouldn't know.

It's a flurry of movement: greeting guests, shaking hands, Jeremy taking hundreds of photos.

Wynonna grabs the microphone and announces: "Let's get this party started!"

Rachel presses play and I Put a Spell on You comes on.

With a mischievous look, Waverly rips her dress to reveal a cooler, shorter dress underneath.

Nicole takes off her vest, throws it on Wynonna's face, and opens three buttons on her white shirt.

Waverly takes a few steps back, hips moving to the beat and finger calling Nicole forward.

She pretends to be busy rolling her sleeves up, eyes never leaving her wife.

Shoulders moving, steps in quick succession, Nicole follows. They circle each other, smiles broad and malicious.

One, two, three slow steps. Nicole pulls Waverly flush against her.

Waverly pushes her away and turns, only to be pulled back again.

That perfect ass grinds against Nicole, hand reaching to the back of her neck, "Just wait until I'm alone with you," she whispers in Waverly's ear and feels her shiver.

She grabs the hand on her neck and uses it to turn Waverly back to her again, bodies moving together in perfect sync.

"When you do," Waverly tells her, hungry eyes and lips parted, "you'll find I'm not wearing any panties."

Nicole almost misses a step.

-

The party roars, booze flowing. Rachel's impeccable setlist keeps everyone high, horny, and in the mood.

Soaked in whiskey and sweat, Nicole dances with her wife. A hand holds her glass up, a firm palm spread on Waverly's lower back, hips moving together.

She's everything Nicole can see, smell, feel.

Foreheads together, Waverly mouths the music against Nicole's lips, breaths mingling. Arms around Nicole's neck, she leans back, exposing that sexy neck and a dirty smile.

Nicole wastes no time kissing her pulse point, teasing with her teeth. Waverly grabs her hair, pulling her closer, whimpering.

"Baby," Nicole soothes the skin with her tongue. "I need to have you."

She gets a breathy moan. "And how are we going to make that happen?"

In the middle of her haze, Nicole assesses their surroundings. The house is filled with people to the brim, the front yard is full of people making out...

-

The music thumps on, muffled in the background.

Waverly jumps on Nicole, who promptly grabs her thighs and pushes her against the barn door. "My wife," she groans over and over again between kisses, biting Waverly's lower lip.

Waverly wraps her legs even tighter around Nicole's waist, grabbing her hair. "Baby, please." They moan in each other's mouths when their tongues meet, and it's not enough. "I need you three fingers deep, right now."

Nicole grunts, throbbing with want, taking Waverly to a pile of hay and settling on top of her. "Anything my girl wants," she pulls the dress down to kiss those perfect breasts, "she will get it." Her mouth latches on a nipple, sucking and biting and pulling just how Waverly likes it.

Waverly whines, nails sinking on Nicole's back. She spreads her legs further, so willing, dress riding up her thighs.

"You're so wet." Nicole sighs, running a slow finger through Waverly's folds. "Is that all for me?"

Waverly gasps and pulls Nicole closer. "All for you, baby. Just for you."

Nicole can't deny her any longer, two fingers slipping inside.

"Yes yes yes-", Waverly moans, hips canting when Nicole picks up the pace. "More, baby, more."

Gasping for air, Nicole adds a third finger. "So good," she mumbles, "So tight." Her voice strained, watching Waverly biting her lower lip in pure bliss.

She gets faster, rougher, taking it almost all out before thrusting inside again, feeling her wife pulsing around her fingers.

"You fuck me so good, baby," Waverly gasps, holding on to Nicole's shirt for dear life. "Only you," she moans, again and again.

"All mine." Nicole curls her fingers, hard kisses on Waverly's neck, as her wife gets even tighter, wetter, more desperate.

Waves comes with a sharp cry, tears falling, back arching.

Nicole stays inside her, kissing her earlobe softly as she whimpers.

"So good." Waverly kisses her lazy and slow, whimpering when Nicole takes her fingers away. "So good." She sighs, taking Nicole's hands and dutifully licking her fingers.

Nicole groans when Waverly starts sucking. "Don't make me fuck you again."

Waverly smiles. "Counting on that, baby."

Nicole leans in for another kiss.

-

Wynonna barges into the barn with a big, big smile. "Told you so!"

Waverly and Nicole scramble to cover themselves, behind some wooden boxes.

"Couldn't get past midnight, could you lovebirds?" She wiggles her eyebrows before leaving. "Pay up, losers!"

"Man, couldn't they wait another hour?" She hears Rosita. "I was counting on the money."

"Tell me about it. Could have been one hour earlier." Is that Doc? "Take it."

Nicole rolls her eyes, a grin on the corner of her mouth.

Waverly bumps shoulders with Nicole. "That's the life you chose." She starts getting dressed.

Nicole watches, everything else fading to the background. "It's the life I chose," she agrees, admiring the lean back of her wife and how her tousled hair moves.

Waverly reads her eyes and giggles, offering her hand. "C'mon, there's a whole party waiting for us."

Nicole closes the buttons on her shirt and lets Waverly pull her up.

She cups her wife's face for a long moment, basking in how she leans into the touch and closes her eyes.

Waverly wraps her arms around her, their breaths in sync.

[successionsideblog]

i'm looking at your tweets about connor and i'm,,,, actually so emo thinking about it,,, it's so easy to look him over because he's such a doofus / the first pancake but god,,, you're right,,, anyway if you have more connor headcanons i'm so interested

This a win for the Conheads, baby! 

I have some ideas about what he might have been like growing up and what his relationship was like with Kendall. From the show, I get the sense that Connor is gentler with Kendall than with Roman and Shiv for some reason. Like in particular, the fact that Connor affectionately calls Kendall “Kenny” makes me think there might have been a period growing up when they were much closer.

Let’s say Connor is 10-15 years older than Kendall and if Kendall is maybe 2-4 years older than Roman then there was a period when it was just baby Kendall and Connor as the Roy kids. I think because of Connor’s sensitivity and childishness and penchant for fantasy as an adult, he’d probably be good with little Kendall back then. And I can see Kendall having a phase where he really latched onto Connor as his big brother. I think those two share some traits, like their sensitivity and emotionality. Bathroom freakout vs. butter freakout. They’re both pretty family oriented as well in a “let’s keep this thing together” kind of way. They also both have an aura of sadness to them and I wonder if Connor ever struggled with depression growing up, especially considering his mom had mental health issues as far as we know.

Anyways, like I said in that Twitter thread, Connor might have been groomed at first to be successor (private school, etc.) but then was cast aside because of what happened with his mother and then Logan had his do-over kids with Caroline. I think it makes it so tragic if Connor did find some unity and togetherness again after Kendall was born, and then eventually had to deal with Logan choosing Kendall over him and setting Kendall up with the tools to run Waystar instead. I picture when Connor eventually moved away or went to college or whatever, Kendall was devastated. I imagine Kendall being such a cry baby, sensitive kid, especially at the age of like 5-10 when Connor would be moving on, somewhat, with his life.

One more thing. I think Logan’s abuse of Connor was probably a combination of emotional abuse and neglect. I’m reminded of what Connor said, maybe in Austerlitz, about having had a lot of practice with waiting for Logan to finish phone calls or something like that. I’m sure Logan gassed Connor up as his first-born son at first, treating him like he treats Kendall with all the pressure and expectations and undermining of achievements, and then Connor was violently tossed aside after Logan divorced his mother, married Caroline, and had Kendall. I think that would account for Connor’s lack of ambition and drive, which I think is the biggest difference between Connor and Kendall even if they share some of that emotionality.

Anyways, thanks for the question! Sorry for the essay.