#paradoxicpersonal

[starsintheparadox]

A Letter to Markiplier

Not that he’ll ever see it. But that’s okay.

I’m going through some of the toughest times in my life right now. My job is bad, so I’m looking for another. My roommates are fighting so much, I’m looking to move. My car needs repairs I can’t afford. I’m scared I won’t make rent. My mental health, and that of a lot of people around me, is bad. I’ve given up my creative hobbies and my creative sparks because I don’t have it in me, and I reached a point of hopelessness. A “why bother? I have more important things to focus on.”

And during all this, during the worst days of my life so far, I isolated to my room. I looked for idle background noise, and I found… an old stream of Markipliers I never finished. His explanation stream for Who Killed Markiplier. I put it on, and found myself sucked back into the world of YouTuber egos and stories, remembering why I loved this stuff so much when it came out. I went and watched Wilford Motherloving Warfstache, and it’s stream. Damien and it’s stream. Then Heist, Heists stream, In Space and it’s stream. I spent a few days just consuming content and lore and breakdowns. I crafted theories, I drew art, I found something that sparked joy.

In the worst days of my life so far, Markiplier made me feel less hopeless, and less alone.

In each of his streams about these projects, he talks about the creation process and he encourages his fans to genuinely go out there and make their own projects. To not give up hope. To chase their creative sides and grab on and they, too, can make things they’re proud of. I know he isn’t talking to me directly, but when I tell you that hearing this, this that sounded so genuine, brought inspiration and color back into this very depressing stage of my life, know how much I mean it. I feel like I can keep up with my own stories now. I feel like I need to stop waiting to do my own creative stuff.

In Space felt like a love letter to his fans, with all the references to things he’s done and memes that made him viral. I saw this. I hold this idea close to my heart.

Mark. Thank you. I can’t be more genuine when I say this. Seeing your passion, your creativity, your genuine care for your fans and your projects and the people you work with… it has touched me in a very, very important and impactful way while I’m struggling in my own life. I’m picking up my art tablet, and my writing pen. I’m sewing my larp costumes again. I know there’s an end to this tunnel, and I know I can reach it.

Is it silly to be this inspired, this touched, by someone who’s never met me, who won’t read this? Maybe.

Does that make it any less real, though?

[starsintheparadox]

Howdy.

Call me Stars. I'm into a lot of various fandoms and things. This blog has no set theme, and will just hold whatever random bullshit I'm into at the moment or things I think are important. Asks are open. I'd love to answer them and chat. DM's are generally open, but I won't promise I'll always answer promptly. I'll do my best to tag stuff appropriately in this blog, but if I mess up, let me know. DNI if you are: -A minor. Sorry. This isn't the blog for you. It's not an explicit blog, but it might have adult or dark topics. Come back later. -An anti. Here's your warning: I am proship, I believe in Ship and Let Ship, and I'm not afraid of the block button.

[starsintheparadox]

I made a side blog for all the Markiplier ego stuff, so it’s in one spot and so I can spam without bothering my main blog, lol.

Its @whendealingininfinites

[starsintheparadox]

This is my space.

I’ve been on tumblr for years. I accidentally deleted my account a little over a year ago but trust me: I’ve been around.

Call me Stars. I’m a trans man in my early 20’s. I’m wildly pansexual and polyamorous. I’m a writer and sometimes my writing will get posted here. I also play lots of video games, cosplay, and am a general purpose nerd. This blog has no set theme or ideas behind it, I simply exist and reblog whatever my interests hold that day. I hyperfixate randomly and wildly, so the things I post change just as wildly.

I believe in Ship and Let Ship. I have a taste for darker themes usually, but I’ll tag things appropriately with Dead Dove Do Not Eat. I’d rather minors not interact but I also don’t control whether they do or don’t. I’m not afraid to block rude people either.

Asks are open! Get to know me, request some writing or art, whatever!

Don’t be a dick! This is my space and I will cultivate it how I want.

Credit me in my art or writings! If you reblog that’s fine, please don’t repost.

This post is subject to updates as I readjust to using tumblr regularly. Thanks for checking me out!