#paraphrasing from my memory ofc

[starvulture]

i can't stop thinking about how in gtn the like, two times gideon sees palamedes smile, she describes it as "curious alchemy that transformed his face into something beautiful." i'm gonna frew up. muir was sick for that

[akascow]

UGHHH the way viktor was afraid of people forgetting his accomplishments and how his memory will be short lived only for it to ACTUALLY HAPPEN is SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

because he was never included in the hextech credits, his name isnt as publically known and ppl will only see him as That One Guy who started a cult and tried to take over the world or smth (IF that. like do most people even know thats viktor in there or is it just another Piltover’s nameless baddie of the week to them… sad)

and the FEW people who knew him and his contribution to hextech are either just dead or probably saw him as a villain as their last memory of him, was he even worth saving in their mind??

the ONLYYYY person who understood him and loved him for who he was (other than sky ofc, who also died lmao) was taken with him in death, so viktor’s story wont even live on in honor for how he truly was and what he really stood for, bc jayce is the only one who can accurately describe him post-mortem

and people will probably think jayce (THE GOLDEN BOY, MAN OF PROGRESS in the eyes of piltover) died trying to fight him bc no one knows what their conversation was about before they went out, or how jayce was willing to sacrifice himself too because he shares blame in it all, so theyll likely just villainize viktor for that as well, 'the one who killed jayce talis- creator of hextech'

and no one is alive to mourn him :( so fucking depressing

also i dont blame jayce for 'taking all the credit' like some people do lol ive seen ppl say he was egotistical and taking it all in for himself and pushing viktor aside, but he literally always says viktor is his partner and never implies that HE ALONE developed hextech or that hes the sole creator in it all

like its always been 'OUR inventions' and 'my PARTNER' and 'WE created this' whenever jayce talks about hextech. he literally corrects viktor from "your [jayce's] hextech dream" to "our hextech dream" the very first night they partner up bc, despite knowing this man for maybe 4 hours max, he already recognizes the importance of their partnership and that hes not the sole idea-man in this project anymore

i think that whole negative idea was probably developed from jayce signing every single page in his notes,, but itd make more sense to me that he'd do that- not out of arrogance- but he might share the same fear that viktor has: in being forgotten for his work... so he signs every page making sure no one can take a piece out of context and pass it as their own years down the line, or erase the possibility that forget the origin of the creator, especially in a world where a species like yordels are seemingly immortal, names hold a lot of weight as time withers tangible things away

and im assuming jayce recognizes that the fact that being from the undercity could have easily silenced viktor's ideas and contributions in the eyes of the public, and jayce doesnt want to diminish his work towards it. two very important lines jayce hears from viktor that night are "do you think i want to spend my whole life as an assistant" and "a poor kid from the undercity, no one believed in me, i was an outcast the moment i stepped foot in piltover" and he probably took those to heart (paraphrasing those quotes bc i have the memory of a goldfish or smth)

i feel like its moreso piltover to blame (? imo) lmao they set up jayce as the golden boy, and piltover is all about names and status and wealth. they very obviously discriminate against zaunites (and viktor himself states that too) like yeah we dont see the whole process of The Man of Progress being made,, BUT viktor expresses how he doesnt want to go out in front of people in Progress Day, so jayce is very much just respecting his wishes and boundaries to not drag him up there when hes clearly uncomfortable at the thought yk?

viktor might also recognize himself that piltover will use his knowledge as a celebrity idol for people to look at rather than as an actual scientist for people to acknowledge and appreciate. he wants to be known for what he did, not a soulless face for people to gawk at. makes sense tho, irl u usually dont remember celebrity actions unless theyre negative, but you do remember scientist's accomplishments rather than what they look like

ppl bring up the hexgate blueprints at the end and how it only has Jayce's name on it as another argument and idk i feel like it has multiple things to stem off that before getting to the 'jayce took credit for everything' idea?

maybe they were changed after the whole cult incident, like viktor's name taken off, which yeah thats obviously depressing in itself. i think its more likely bc piltover wont want their whole gimmick to be associated with that incident, rather than jayce purposefully leaving viktor's name out of it... thats probably the strongest explanation imo. we gotta remember viktor is quite literally jayce's best friend- do you really think jayce would take away his best friend's accomplishments like that? lets be real yall HAHA

my own guess is that jayce was actually the sole designer in the hexgate design, and while they can share custody, maybe viktor doesnt take credit for things that werent his ? like yeah they worked on the hextech ideas together but it could be more like jayce drew up the plans and viktor helped with the science of it idk, but thatd explain why only jayce's name would be on it (in a non depressing way that kind of makes sense), bc jayce designed the hexgates specifically

maybe viktor didnt want his name on it either bc reasons i said above, tho this is unlikely to me bc he probably wouldnt want his name taken off if he was scared about legacy erasure,, but these are just theories idk

anyway i think blaming jayce for viktor's erasure is kind of - uhm -stupid because jayce has always made it his goal to not just save viktor but to include viktor every time he brings up hextech in conversation, whether it calls for his mention or not. because jayce knows drilling viktor's name association as co-contributer to hextech into the heads of other people is important, considering viktor's background, and jayce's own current social status as the golden boy: the leverage he holds when he speaks. people will listen lol

[broodwoof]

just beat the Betrayal of Felassan and I am once again thinking about what these are

so, the caretaker said just before going in that (hella paraphrasing bc my memory SUCKS and also that fight took me so long) neither death nor the blight have calmed its anger

I'm gonna talk about demons but ftr I think they're really just spirits

so, the way I see it, some options are:

these revenants are the people or thing they represent. I find this unlikely though

they are demons - likely regret, but could be something else - that have taken much of their form and energy from solas' regrets on their own, because his regrets are so long lasting and powerful. demons seem drawn to what will sustain them, and I suspect the grief and regret of an immortal god-like figure would be a constant feast

they are demons who were bound to solas' regrets through the evanuris, as part of a developed plan to destroy the dread wolf - attacking him with his own regrets. in this view, they are very possibly blighted by the evanuris as well

the caretaker mentioning death seems odd though. that one line would seem to imply that this might be felassan; felassan, who has died, and whose death did not calm his anger

and it could be! it could be that this is felassan and the others are demons ig. but I really struggle to view it as fel himself. fel's pain, grief, betrayal manifesting as a demon or feeding one? yeah, I can see that. but I still don't think it particularly likely

so, my best guess is that these are in fact demons based around solas' regrets. and there's book precedence for that ofc

[heatwa-ves]

pls yap abt ur fave jojo part 🎤

yippeeeee ^_^ okay so from fav to least fav it's 5/6/4/2/3/1 to me 4 and 2 are interchangeable. I haven't finished part 6 yet I have only a few episodes left but I don't want it to be over so I keep putting off finishing it...

part 5 is my fav because I just love the main cast sososososososoooo much it's definitely the strongest main cast of any of the parts imo I find them all so interesting and compelling and it's hard to choose a fav (it's fugo tho. sobs dies etc) the relationships between the characters are so good as well...

also trish I LOVE trish. she's everything she's such an interesting character I do wish she had more moments like her first scenes where she's an annoying teen and I would've loveedddddd a scene where she lashes out at the rest of the cast and kind of hates them because of everything she's been through she's suddenly taken from her life and thrown into a world of violence and it's not fair and she should've been allowed to be mad about it!! she does have a lot of really good moments tho ofc the part where she awakens her stand and everything leading up to it (on that note spice girl should've been used more I can only think of maybe two instances where she was used??) and also another fav is in the cioccolata fight where she talks to narancia about bruno it's really nice characterisation for all of them + you see more of narancias blind faith in bruno that ultimately leads to his death. semi related naratrish is really cute guys . ... straight people rights.

another trish moment I am deeply obsessed with is the purple haze feedback bonus chapter which is her visiting brunos grave and speaking with his mother. makes me stupid emotional. her becoming a singer post canon is soooooooo important music is a pretty big theme in the relationships between the main cast most importantly in this case is when fugo says (roughly paraphrased) "how can you throw your life away for this girl you barely know, you don't even know what music she likes" (fun fact in phf fugo goes on to talk about how he's not too fond of women he hates his mother and he doesn't like trish 😭)

ANYWAYYY wait I'm gonna talk about music more because. I'm sick. so there's stuff like abbacchio having headphones on in the first scene we see him and narancia having a stereo on the boat and then ofc the torture dance... it's fun and silly but also it's like. they're just kids. sobs. music is their thing all the characters have a listed favourite artist all the stands are named after music!!! and then my fav part this scene in phf .

so yeah trish becoming a singer is both a connection with her mother because they used to sing together and connection with the people who died so she would have a chance to live and a chance to move from her father's influence and have a bright future. I do wonder if she stays in contact with the survivors post canon I like to think she does with mista at least. maybe not giorno at first because that's all too raw and also I think he would discourage contact between them for her safety but maybe eventually. also another trish scene I like (well. She's not actually present for it) is right before the finale where bruno is dying and he can't tell people apart and he talks to doppio thinking it's trish and he promises her she can stay in his house if she has nowhere to go because he knows he won't make it home and he never does and she wasn't even there to hear him say that to her. sobs. I saw a hc that post canon she gets a tattoo around her wrist of a zipper in memory and I really like that idea

also it's insane to me that she is the ONLY female character in part 5. What? Huh? jojo had never been good with women leading up to this but I thought we were finally getting somewhere with diu and reimi yukako tomoko shinobu aya yuyas three weed smoking gfs etc but no. we're back to one again. she's a really good character but still. One. sheila doesn't count she's not in the main part. how are none of la squadra women. I hate la squadra but I would've taken it. I would've hated diavolo slightly less if he was a woman. but no. just one. well the intelligent among us (me) will know and understand that mista is butch but well. araki doesn't know that. Ah well at least we get jolyne next part. Also I just found out apparently giorno was meant to be a girl but arakis editor made him change it.. sigh.

speaking of la squadra can I just express how much I hate them. they're so annoying the only one I can tolerate is illuso and that's because man in the mirror & purple haze is my absolute fav part of golden wind and also he's somewhat interesting in his relationship with sheila and then her relationship with fugo in that he killed the man she had her heart set on taking revenge on because he killed her sister and forced her down the path to the mafia. I can't stand risotto he looks like a tokyo ghoul reject and yet everyone on tumblr dot com wants his dick. why. where is the appeal. he pisses me offfff and also it doesn't help that his stand at least the way it appears in the anime makes me like physically uncomfortable which is a little bit embarrassing it's a really cool stand I just can't watch the episode without feeling sick . and his name is RISOTTO how can you want a man named risotto. that would kill the mood in bed so fucking fast you can't call him that 😭😭😭😭 anyway I hate him moving on. I also hate diavolo and doppio sorry guys they're annoying and diavolo pisses me off bc his hair looks like a dragon fruit . the torture time loop was cruel tho giorno . just put him out of his misery. his lace shirt thing is cute tho at the very least. so yeah my main issue with part 5 is aside from the main cast I really don't like any of the other characters wait no. scratch that. I like squalo and tiziano they're cute. I hate all the others tho. melone is the worst by far to me and it bothers me how many people like him. he shows up sexually assaults a woman and then dies there is nothing to like. wait I take that back there is one thing to like and it's the tadashi harada x jojo thing LOOK. melone is the last one but can we talk about bruno?????? Hello???????????????????? im obsessed

Anywayyyyy I talked about trish for a bit so now im gonna talk about the other characters hopefully this won't be too long but. well. I like to talk. can u believe I was gonna talk about some of my opinions on other parts on this post it would be so long 💀 my endless hatred for part 3 can be a topic for another time

first of all bruno 💖 sorry to anyone who was following me in november of last year I swear I'm not normally Like That he's just the exception. combination of that fuckass bob and titty window and . everything . anyway I calmed down now only because I got my fix by actually watching the show not hoping mutuals would take pity on me and rb art of him onto the dash. i was so excited to see him and his narrative exceeded my expectations by far. died and came back wrong??? walking corpse that is slowly decaying??? saviour complex????? forced to grow up too fast???? I love thinking about his life in the mafia pre fugo as well as the early days of his own team... his relationships with all the other characters are sooooo interesting to me especially giorno I've talked about them before here

I love sticky fingers it's soooo cool he should use it more for making severed.hands come out of random kids mouths like he did in episode one. let him be a fucking freak again. not a fan of the stand design tho sadly but I guess they can't all be winners 😓 I think it's the blue it kinda throws me off like that's notttt the vibes. but what do I know. also shoutout to the actual album sticky fingers it fucks hard and no I definitely did not start listening to it because I was sick over bruno that is not why I listened to it at all. (it totally is)

I also love abbacchio sm like acab but.. at least he's not a cop anymore. shoutout to suicidal characters always my favs . I don't really know how to talk about him without just going ouughghhj he makes me sick in the head. he joined passione to have something to die for.. and he ended up dying not for passione but for his own cause (well. bruno's cause but he's so devoted to bruno that he'd do anything. let's talk about "I only feel at ease when im with you". Hello? phf also implies he's straight which????? this is Mr "I only feel anything if I'm following the orders of men superior to me" we're talking about. bdsm could save him)

he's haunted by the ghost of his past and well without getting too into my interpretation of stands I think it would be so cool if pre passione moody blues isn't fully there yet but he can see her in the corner of his eye sometimes in the form of his dead partner. speaking of moody blues she's soooooo cool most fuckable stand by far. I mean what who said that. she has such an awesome ability I wish it was used more she's so interesting to me bc her ability is the literal manifestation of his inability to move on from the past I like to think about their relationship.. to me stands have varying levels of sentience randing from like. power outlet. to echoes act 3. and moody blues idk I think she has some level of sentience. i think she stands there looking creepy and wet to get her point across and it works. anyway my endless thoughts on stands is a topic for another time back to abbacchio.

it's canon that he's the most physically strong of the team I would love if he had some fights. before starting the show I had only seen his design a couple times and I was sooooo convinced he had a long black morticia addams ass dress and nothing compared to my disappointment when I realised it was a coat thing. the purple lipstick is everything. I think a lot about his life post police pre passione as well as early passione days. finally obligatory mention that I like bruabba but I think it's most fun if it's onesided. abbacchio is 1000000% in love with bruno like that's not even debatable but I don't think it's reciprocated 💖 actually this reminds me there's one araki interview where he's asked if abbacchio loves bruno and he says something along the lines of "NO???? THEYRE NOT LIKE THAT. dio is tho. did you know dio is bisexual did you know dio likes men. sexually. did you know dio has awesome gay sex. abbacchio is straight tho" I wish I could find it again because it's so funny to me

I love narancia. have I mentioned that I love narancia. I love narancia. what can I even say other than I love narancia. best character araki has ever made 10/10 no notes I sobbed when he died. going into the last few episodes I knew two people were gonna die and I knew one of them would be bruno and I was just hoping narancia wouldn't die. and then he did and I was inconsolable uaaagghhhhhh giorno growing flowers over him.... he just wanted to go home.... he wanted to see fugo again.... the scene with fugo where he thinks he sees aerosmith I'll kill myself AFGHHHH. the scene in venice where he can't decide whether to go or stay.... him realising the similarities between him and trish... his backstory... his character design... he's literally perfect. did u know I love him. what else can I even say.

now mista. well you see. um. read this . I just think he's neat. I love his relationship with fugo especially post canon like. they were friends!!! I think they were both closer to narancia than to eachother but regardless they were friends and then fugos "betrayal" not that it was a betrayal but to mista it felt like that. especially because he then lost his best friend and can't help but think if fugo was here maybe that wouldn't have happened. and I think fugo has the same feelings if he was there maybe they wouldn't have lost so many people. and this drives a huge rift into their relationship you can see how they are at the start of phf that's another scene I really like and I think it would take a really long time for them especially mista to be in a place where they can consider eachother friends again and even when they do it will never be the same as it once was. also the sex pistols are great I love them.

now giorno. yesterday on instagram I discovered that there's a sizable minority of people who think he's boring 😭 and I feel the need to defend him. he's literally my little brother I love him . he's such a funny character he's fifteen and a mafia boss and his dad is an evil semi immortal bisexual vampire and that's not even the weirdest member of his family. he wears hot pink heart cutout suits. he's fine with robbery and gang violence and murder but draws the line at drug use. he's so serious that it's silly. he's fifteen. boy why are you running italys criminal underworld go hand in your homework

but then he's also an incredibly tragic character he has never ever been close to anyone all he's known is loneliness. and you expect me not to burst into tears????? he wasn't even particularly close with any of passione they were friendly aside from abbacchio because abbacchio is a bitch ass hater who has nothing better to do than pick fights with teenagers (he should meet rohan.. worlds most insufferable yaoi. gay sex would fix everything wrong with both of them so idk maybe they could help eachother out but they would absolutely hate eachother. Anyway.) the closest he is with any of the others is bruno like I talked about earlier but again they only knew eachother for a week or so and their relationship is founded on and primarily revolves around a shared goal. I do picture him getting very close with fugo post canon I would've loved them to have more interactions in canon but the final scene of phf fed me well so I can't complain too much. their personalities work well together I think whether romantically or not they can be the companionship they both desperately need.

not the point but his mother is also a deeply fascinating character to me I wanna see inside her brain. there's her understandable frustration at the loss of her youth due to a child she never planned for and lack of a support system but that frustration leads to complete apathy towards her baby. I don't think she's deliberately malicious she just doesn't care. I don't think she ignores him all the time she probably has moments where she plays with him or shows him to her friends like aww look how cute my baby is but more often than not she leaves him completely alone and that apathy is just cruel. her lack of care then develops into her turning a blind eye to her husband abusing him which okay maybe she didn't notice at first but it gets to a point where you can't not notice. so she just ignores it and tells herself it's strong parenting or whatever and continues gallivanting around living her best life like she doesn't even have a kid. she's awful but I can understand what led her to this point. maam let me into your head I wanna examine it

back to giorno let's talk about gold experience. one of the most interesting abilities in the entire series to me and it's used in such versatile ways similar to crazy diamond which I really like. the ability to Literally Create Life is sooooo everything don't even get me started on religious motifs. in the first fight against bruno gold experience is used to imbue more life into him and iirc that ability is never used again which is a shame. araki loves doing interesting things in the first fight and never addressing them again. I'm looking at you kakyoin. anyway cool stand moving on

now fugo!! so before going into part 5 I had some level of knowledge of the characters from tumblr + friends but I didn't really know anything about him and as I watched he was just kinda there I had no real opinion other than thinking the strawberry theme was cute but then we got to man in the mirror and I was like oh shit. I see the vision. the scene in venice where he chooses to stay behind is soooo good but I was expecting for the whole second half that he would come back and I was really surprised that he didn't but in retrospect that was definitely a good choice even tho im sad we didn't see more of him. his final scene where it cuts to him alone in naples for a minute is sooooo agjghhjhn and then of course there's phf. we'll get to that

I read that araki initially intended for fugo to be a spy for diavolo and giorno would've had to kill him and while that's interesting I'm glad it's not what he went with I think what we actually got is so much more tragic because no one is really in the wrong? but they hurt eachother and fugo has to live with the fact that he lost his friends because he wasn't there and nothing will ever be the same. It will definitely be hard for him post canon especially without bruno because bruno was the first person aside from his grandmother who he was close to and he lost them both!!!! bruno is the one who saved him and bruno is the one who told him they can't survive outside of passione and bruno is the one who told him his loyalty is to passione first and foremost so the events in venice feel even worse to fugo it feels like bruno betrayed him rather than him betraying the rest of them. it's not that fugo doesn't care for the others because he's put himself at risk for them before (man in the mirror etc) but he's very intelligent and rational and when he's not angry he will evaluate the risks of a situation before acting. and here he just can't fathom why bruno and the others would throw everything they have away for a suicide mission to protect one random girl. and then when it's just him and narancia and he feels like shit but at least narancia is there except then he goes on his whole trish is me and I am trish thing and leaves too and fugo just has to watch the boat leave!!!! there's a part in phf which I have to quote because I reached image limit

.

"Thinking too much...that's why I couldn 't get on the boat! The thought surprised him. He couldn 't get on the boat. Not 'didn't', but 'couldn't.' Was it true? Had he actually wanted to get on the boat? Had he wanted to go with the others? Deep down? But if that's true... That didn't sound like him at all. Buccellati had scouted him, counted on him to stay calm, pick the logical option, minimize losses. No, wait...wait...

The wheels were spinning now. Why hadn't he been able to get on the boat? Because nobody had expected him to. Who hadn't expected him to? Buccellati. But Buccellati had told them to get on the boat... No. No, he didn't say that.

"I won't order you to come with me. I won't even wish for it." Those were his words. That's why Narancia had begged him to order him on board.

So I...took him at his word? Since it wasn't an order, I... Without direct orders, he was expected to chose the course with less peril. Take no unnecessary action until the next opportunity was made clear. Was that why he'd been frozen to the spot? He’d felt like he’d made up his own mind, but had he really been robotically conforming to the common sense drilled into his head since he was born?"

.

agh. explodes. another thing I find really interesting is how he used to take on orders privately that he knew would hurt bruno and then eventually got abbacchio to help and he's been doing this since he was what. fourteen? thirteen? bruno had been in the mafia almost six years at that point he's reached a point where he's mostly desensitized to murder so what sort of shit would he not be able to take mentally? it's that which fugo took upon himself to do at such a young age what the FUCK.

fugo is so compelling to me he's a kid who's been hurt so much by everyone in his life and he doesn't know how to cope with that and he's so angry at the world and he can't control how he reacts so he lashes out at everyone. he reminds me a bit of my oc rayaan they're both so traumatised and react with anger because what else can they do. except rayaan then has to come to terms with being gay and in love with his roommate slash best friend who is Not Interested and meanwhile all fugos friends die. anyway. his stand is the physical manifestation of his own anger and self loathing and no wonder he hates it!!! can't imagine the pain of your soul being laid bare in front of you and all it can do is hurt. I think he internalises that to a degree his hatred of purple haze reflects his hatred of himself and the world but to a greater level because this is all the worst parts of him. BUT!!!!! at the end of phf when he bites the virus capsule murolo says "Stands reflect the owner's personality, when there's a shift in the psyche, the stand changes too." and then there's this passage which is everything to me

.

"Purple Haze. His own alter ego. A reflection of his own mind. Another Pannacotta Fugo. It was staring at him.

And for the first time, Fugo stared back. Had its eyes always looked like this? He felt the eyes had been more lonely, before.

Or was that an emotion he’d forgotten somewhere along the way?

Like the bacteria that fill our world, existing without our help, rebuffing all attempts to get rid of them. Something you didn't want, but were, for some reason, certain you could never be free of. A shadow of conflicted emotion.

It looked down at him, and he looked up at it. When he could no longer believe anything, and had nowhere else to go, it would always be at his side. Neither of them said anything."

.

he's grown so much!!!!! Im stupid emotional rn I need to reread phf in full it's what got me so obsessed with fugo as a character it's sooooo good. the ending... fugo calling giorno giogio... this illustration... the chapter title being "the soldier in love" which of course is referencing trish's song but also you can't tell me that's not talking about fugo especially combined with the final lines???? "I am yours, our giogio" and "Half a step," he said. "If you can't take a step forward, then I'll step halfway to you. Everything hinges on your decision, but if grief anchors your feet, then let me share it."

and THIS LINE??? "Only one person could do something about that. You. Pannacotta Fugo - you were the only person who could do something about this threat. The only person who can change your stand is you." literally what the fuck. sobs dies etc. not to sound insane but I love fugo so much his growth as a person makes me sooooooo emotional. In his last fight in phf he goes "Sheila is me, her anger is my anger" and I think that's a really nice line to summarise his character growth he's now understanding what made narancia chase after the boat sheila is also someone he doesn't know well just like trish was but he decides to risk everything to protect and fight for her he's grown so much in such a short period of time. And I love him.

.

And with that I'm done!! I still have more to say of course but this is enough for now 💖 very quickly summary of my opinion on other parts

1. I'm gonna be honest all I remember about part 1 is it sent me and my friend down a rabbit hole of those thomas jefferson miku binder esque politician drawings.

2. I like joseph sorry everyone. caejose my world. araki doing gods work by putting them both in cute little crop tops half the time

3. part 3 pisses me off I have so much to say about it but that's a rant for another time. shoutout to holly kujo I luv her

4. I wasn't vibing with part 4 at first it's very slice of life which isn't my preferred genre but after kira shows up it gets REALLY good. I love josuke he's my baby brother fr. I love shinobu

6. jolyne save me FF save me jolyne save me FF save me etc. excited but also scared to finish it 💖

[lawrence-songs]

fictionkin questions under the cut.

So, I'm a little nerve wracked.

I am.. no expert on fictotypes whatsoever, so if anyone can help me out with this, that would be fab.

I'm considering sammykin. Maybe bendykin, but sammy just feels more.. right.

I've heard a lot about how fictionkin are commonly fond of the characters they kin, or how they saw the character for the first time, and went "oh shit that me", and I didn't do... any of that.

In fact, I've played what's considered "my source" millions of times and never once considered the fact that I could be samuel until just yesterday, when I made a joke about how similar we are.

I've always considered that I was batim kin of some kind. the studio just.. is a spot I've never left. there's something in there that's me. I know it inside and out and I've always been obsessed with it, with finding out everything. I whistle the tunes in my day to day life, I collect merch from it, I once built the projectionst's head out of 2 spare cardboard boxes, some acrylic paint, and a fuckload of hot glue.

I've cosplayed Boris.

I've always kinda felt myself somewhere in an inky mass, but I don't have any memories of that.

I just assumed, somewhere, there was a background character that would never be created that I was. and I was okay with that.

Sammy Lawrence in source is a nutjob that I have always made fun of. (lovingly ofc, but in the way you see a character and you're like "oh you moron. your smooth little brain. you went and started worshiping a demon and you really thought that would end well. fuck.")

But then I realized..

that was a somewhat personal and regretful opinion to have about a character that is on screen mostly shown as a fanatic.

I made a post last night that said (paraphrased and edited for clarity): "I love hating on sammy lawrence because he's such an obsessive moron, and then i remember i have such an extensive collection of bendy merch that it's been referred to as a shrine and im like oh. actually he's accurate

most based character in the game because frankly if you locked me in a cartoon studio with a demon that acted as the catalyst of new beginnings id worship him too

i like to make fun of sammy as if i am not also insane enough to chug a vial of ink on no basis other than my own whims and being too insane about something

me holding sammy up: theres something wrong with you (staring into a mirror)"

I didn't realize this might actually be more than a joke until I realized I had all the stuff I needed to closet cosplay Sammy and I walked back after getting dressed and it just. felt correct.

I'm not an inky monstrocity, I'm still a person-

I didn't consider that we were the same thing until I saw myself in our clothes with his hair and my face.

I don't have memories of the studio after it's downfall, but I have what could be flickers of what it was like before.

In the games, he's only there for a small amount of time.

.. I'm only there for a small amount of time.

But I remember reading the implications that he drank from an ink bottle and could nearly taste it.

I'm unsure if my fixation on the ink demon stems from a connection to him or a connection to sammy. but either way, there always has been.

I can remember moments of myself before the studio's downfall, but not. After. I see him in source and I'm like "oh god. is that what happens to me?" like it's the disappointment a ghost would have at watching a zombie of a body carry on without it's mind. is that- is this anything. Please tell me, I am unsure what the fuck is up but I don't. know exactly how to sort this out myself. any input is appreciated.

@bendyy-blog

gently tagging you in this. hi

[cookiecomics]

(warning from future me: this is very long, soz)

heyy!! i'm about to start another reread of atott but although im trying to get better at this, im bad at leaving comments (i get too invested in the action & dont mark down my thoughts... so when i get to the comment part i don't remember all or anything i wanted to talk abt + i'm ruminating on what just happened. that's true for the updates i've been following and doubly so for binge-reading sessions) so i just wanted to say some things directly to you, right now, before i forget - i adore the colosseum to this day. i was invested from moment one and the way you described everything was so impactful. to this day i also remember the way ren was panicked & aiming to return home despite his concussion, it felt very visceral and real. also the entirety heresy ring, akechi finding out he was in the fraud ring (this cracked me up iirc. that boy read you akechi), the toy grandma wanted to give ren & akechi managed to get to him (and ren/arsene crying bc of it....), the river, the hanged man game.... gods, you captivated me so much even within those first chapters.

another moment that is very present in my memory is the whole section where ren is in shido's palace, hiding from akechi w/o knowing it's him, finding out he was the "birdman" and then the aftermath, akechi's high fever, the way ren did his best to take care of him, how he told him he'd do the hit on the principal for him. it was all so good!! like i found ur fics from the accomplice tag iirc so i wasn't surprised when it happened, but it was all so exciting still! my memory sucks so i can't even paraphrase what ren told akechi before leaving to do it, but i do remember how akechi was still convinced (and kinda hoped) ren wouldn't actually get involved & he'd just end up dead. then ren came back, with new glasses to boot! lol

ohh also that moment where ren crossdressed and akechi was definitely attracted but ofc he can't Say It so he just critiques his makeup capabilities instead....... i was like. of course. of couse you would.

and i found atott shortly after finding out i'm arospec despite being very interested in making fictional characters kiss & romantic scenes in general, so it was very interesting to read akechi believe he was aromantic & have to deal with Actually Having Romantic Feelings Fuck This lmaoooo tho tbf i'd actually react similarly if i found out i was demisexual instead of completely ace like i think i am, so i also identified with it in that sense, since i've know about that part of my identity much longer than being arospec lol

ah. this is very long but i have more i want to say... so im gonna keep talking lol. ren realizing he was cluster-b helped me realize & come to terms with my low empathy. i remember when first reading akechi suggest ren get himself checked for sociopathy i was a bit skeptical bc i worried it'd be just edgy stuff, but i'd been trusting your writing & decisions so i decided to be optimistic & i rlly liked how you handled it, and, again, it helped me come to terms with the parts of me that also wouldn't be seen favourably by some of these ppl who insist they're mental health advocates lol

also, i rlly like akesumi so when sumi realized he was munin i was giddy. her own smile about it made me happy too.... oh this makes me remember the scene of futaba finding out ren is her online friend too gods such good scenes!!!! and finding the palace keywords. which made me remember the bad ending chapter in maruki's reality which i only managed to read on my 3rd read of the fic & then was immediately invested into too.....

anyway, what i want to say is, thank you so much for writing atott. it is almost constantly running through the like, background of my thoughts, and the story has been very important & dear to me. i hope you know it is genuinely engraved within me at this point. i love it so much. ♡

GOSH what a beautiful thing to come back to ;3; thank you so so much for your kind words and for trusting me as well dsfkjhsdfjk as someone who is cluster b AND on the a-spec merrygoround, I'm glad my handling of the topics have been great for you ;3; thank you for telling me all that you love about the fic ;3; hoping to get an update soon for Goro's birthday <3

Again, any and all love for Ren's palace makes me giddy since it is by far the aspect of the fic that took the longest to plan ;3; and there's no such thing as "too long" comments or asks for me by the way please know this is very sweet to read, i hope you have a great day! and look forward to people having a hashtagbadtime next chapter sdkjfhjkf

[carrotcakecrumble]

hi!! 🥰 3, 6, 8, 9, 10, 14, 16 and 20 for the FT asks? :D

3. What is your favourite episode and why?

One day I will list all of them and why because ALL OF THEM. But with a loaded pistol held to my head I’d have to say ‘your nuts roasting on an open fire’ (4?) 1. Because sorry but who came up with that title is it in the book???? i love it. 2. BECAUSE.. BECAUSE,., BACEUSE…BECAUSE E,, BECAUSE UHM. BECAUSE .. Them. Them spending their Christmas together. The TIE!!!!! Tim’s little shoulder giggle in bed. Hawk picking that bespectacled twink UP. ROCKETTES IN RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL BABY!!!!!. The cufflinks paralleled with the bracelet. That scene where they move the plot along during foreplay??? You know the ‘why can I never say no to you?’ Bit like UGH. Also!!! Tim’s family!!! Him so happy to be wearing the cufflinks at Christmas dinner always finishes me🧎🏻‍♀️ and then so much more but my memory exists only in 5 second segments and weird smells so i can’t think off the top of my head but. Basically just everything🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

6. What is your favourite parallel/reference in the show?

I don’t know about it being my favourite, I’d have to put a lot more thought in to admit something like that, but one that’s been on my mind recently that I haven’t seen talked about very much is the scene where Hawk tells Tim about his plan to move to Italy and asks Tim to keep it between them, and Tim throws out the most Chekhov’s gun of reply and goes ‘I’ll take it to my grave’ and he DOES. when Lucy comes to talk to him in the 80s, he knows their planning on moving to Italy. He knows Hawk’s plan for Italy. I think maybe at that point, he’s kind of certain that Lucy does too, they don’t need to say it outloud. idk. I just kind of. he kept his promise girls i

8. How did you discover Fellow Travelers? / 9. What is your favourite headcanon(s)? / 10. If the show had one more episode, what would it be about? (Answered in my first ask reply!!)

14. Do you have any unpopular opinions about Fellow Travelers?

I’ve seen a LOT of hate for Lucy’s big final speech in the 80s saying goodbye to Hawk, especially the ‘I thought, once he was dead, things might all be over and we could live like a normal couple’ (paraphrasing) and like I get it, she’s wishing for our special little lesbian lumberjacks death and like bitch omg. But also not at all bitch, that piece of writing was so BEAUTIFULLY truthful. We spend 8 episodes of everyone just lying and lying and lying. To themselves and everyone else around them. Then BOOM episode 8 comes and everything’s just finally laid arse cheeks out in the sun after DECADES and it’s so REFRESHING. Like yeah, ofc she wished Tim was just gone. I get it. She’s held onto this hope she never actually really believed in because the lying had clawed in so DEEP, that thinking there might be a way out of the mess they’ve curated for themselves in life without having to up-end everything good in it as well, was all she had. Telling herself Tim’s death would be the end of it, even though she knows about the other affairs (the gardener i think it is?? etc), was the last bit of hope she had, just how Hawk seems to have stuck his claws into the Italy dream and not let go of it the entire time, despite knowing he’s dug far too deep in for it to ever become a reality now. But then she meets Tim and realises this isn’t just the soldier who wrote the love letter or the criminal Hawk kept in his cabin, this is the man Hawk loves, and that’s never going to just be gone. This ruins everything. She can’t hold onto the lies or the hope anymore. And she tells Hawk all of this and it’s so raw and beautiful and brave and we BOO her???? no not on my watch girls. No more Lucy hate!!!!! I’m leading the march

16. If you could give the show an alternative ending, what would happen in your version?

It was all a bad dream Tim had from drinking some slightly gone off milk and uhm they actually get uhm married and live happily ever after in San Francisco attending aerobic classes <333

Ok no but, I really like the ending. I was STRESSED about how they were gonna pull it off satisfyingly with so many ends to tie up and not a lot of time left to do it but WAOW did they give us something beautiful !!!! I think maybe something I would have liked to see (not actually changed, but just purely selfishly bc i love them) is Tim and Hawk dancing at the gala 🥹 like i get why they didn’t, that would have been too much of a leap for Hawk’s character at that point in time but AGH how i would have fallen at Ron’s feet and kissed the ground that little man walks on if we had got to see that

20. If Fellow Travelers had a spin-off or continuation, what would you like it to be about?

i want a PREQUEL and i want to see Kenny and I want to see Bob and I want to see Lucy’s trip to Europe and I want to see more of that initial relationship between Hawk and Lucy’s brother (pardon me but what the shit is his name again? Kevin or something??) because listen there is something there, they only briefly go into it but i can literally see all scenes in my head, there’s so much potential!!! I need to go read some fics now

[spectralpooch]

wataru and eichis final convo in ep:link will always make me cry i fear

[royalwilmon]

hi, first of all: so happy for you that you got to meet e & o yesterday!!!

you said we could ask questions, so i actually have one if you feel comfortable to share ofc:

what did you tell them and what did they answer? 🥺

hi omg thank you!!!!!! ofc!!!!

the memory is honestly Already getting fuzzy but okay first thing that happened they each hugged me and asked me how i was doing and i just made some sort of noise that wasnt a word and they laughed. i told them that i was from boston and that i got there at midnight and started waiting at NBC at 5am and they were all cute about it like "thank you for coming, oh my god". and then im majorly paraphrasing here but i said something along the lines of "i just wanted to thank you guys. these past two years have been the best of my life and ive changed so much through loving YR and i'm a different and better person because of it" and they both were like "thank you, youre so sweet". then i talked for a bit about groupchats/fandom friends and how ive met people from around the globe that i talk to every day and how im so grateful to them for indirectly introducing me to my favorite people and i just couldnt thank them enough for that. at this point i was tripping over my words a lot and both edvin and omar were putting their hands on my arms which did not help my speaking thing. edvin said "youre so sweet" at least three times. edvin asked if i wanted to take a picture and i think i just laughed. i turned around to pose with them and right before they took the pic i muttered "holy fuck" under my breath and edvin laughed and said something along the lines of "trust me we feel the same". after the pics i said thank you like eight times and as i was walking away they were like "oh say hi to the groupchat from us!!!!" and god i wish i was allowed to have my phone to record it but alas, phones were a strict no-no

sorry thats a big chunk of text but its all this weird fuzzy memory already, like. such a blur

the Thing about the interaction i keep telling people is something y'all probably already know from pictures and videos but i'm just going to confirm it. edvin looks at you while you're talking like every word you say is the most important word he's ever heard. i'll never in my life recover from actually being on the other end of that.

and omar was ALL smiles. he was just so clearly OVERJOYED to be there talking to people, like. so happy. he's an actual puppy dog, so adorable, my heart melted. also, it might be because im short but he's not as Small as he was in my mind!! sorry to confirm that omar is in fact normal sized

okay thats all my brain is letting me remember right now, lmk if y'all wanna know more!!

[arcgeminga]

What is the mun's opinion of all the gold saints from TLC?

♚— Oh boi. This is gonna be a mouthful. I know you said "all" , but I can't do saints like Avenir and Sage since I haven't read Shion and the Old Twins' gaiden in English. And I'm not about to act like I know Spanish enough to write a review on those saints.

♚ Aries Shion - Should've been the Hades Arc Shion. Like damn, I really like Shion when he's an angry sheep!! I mean, he yeets the five bronzies in Hades Arc like "Fuck dem kids!". 

I really like Specter/Pope Shion. But TLC Shion I do not hate. In fact, I can understand how and why he becomes Pope. I really like TLC Aries Shion! I just wished he was more angry sheep, but TLC Shion is not bad. I especially loved his Gaiden, at least the part where Avenir was shown. I feel like they should have explained more on his thoughts on becoming pope or exploring him having some sort of survivor's guilt but hey. I don't dislike him!     

♚ Taurus Aldebaran/Hasgard/Rasgado - Honestly, the only thing I can say about Hasgard is that... I don't hate him. I love his English Voice actor (because I'm a really big fan of Jamieson Price since Tales of Vesperia), but for Hasgard himself... I don't really have an opinion or thought on. His teenage years with Sisyphus and Aspros seemed fun, and I'm kinda... hm... sad that their relationship mellowed out? Or at least, we didn't get his and Sisyphus' opinions or reactions to Aspros' death.     

♚ Gemini Defteros & Aspros - OH BOY WHERE DO I START!? ----- Gemini Aspros - I understand why Aspros was the way he was towards everyone and his brother. It's honestly not his fault. I am happy that he doesn't have a "split personality" at all throughout TLC, even though that is something I would never diss Saga for (even if it wasn't really a split personality). He was simply manipulated into behaving cruelly because someone showed him something that he was scared of, and that was akin to his brother not needing him. His Gaiden harks back to that too, during that 'flashback' when he told Defteros that he was going to become pope, Defteros donned the gold cloth and said 'yeah so we can be equals and I won't need you' (paraphrasing). If Aspros is just going to be used and tossed away, might as well harden his own heart before then. And it doesn't help that he saw himself as a Specter and his brother as a Gold Saint when he went to the oracles.

 I feel for Aspros because, in the end, he had no idea that he had been manipulated hard enough that his goodest boy personality changed. And honestly, I can relate to that. I've had my personality take a deep dive some years ago after I had a panic attack. So I don't fault him for his actions. He was just trying to make the best with what he knew, understood, and could do, even if that meant doing terrible things. After all, it is his mindset that the weakest people are the ones that don't do anything.     ----- Gemini Defteros - I also can't fault him for anything. He was dependent on his brother, and there was no way he could understand what was going on in Aspros' tortured mind since Aspros never spoke about his feelings. But I believe that, contrary to what Aspros thinks, Defteros would have been very dependent on him even after Aspros became pope. After all, he didn't have friends, lacked social skills, and couldn't find it in himself to trust anyone aside from his older brother because of how Sanctuary treated him as they were growing up, so he would have been stuck in like a childish headspace of needing a protector and provider, which was Aspros. You can tell that much because he was asking Asmita what should he do when he was possessed by the DEF. 

When Aspros died (or rather, when Defteros killed him [which seriously broke his heart]), it forced Defteros to grow up and look after himself. This isn't a terrible thing--but it was a terrible and such a trauma-inducing way to go about it. But how he died--or rather, the fact that he wanted to sacrifice himself to save his brother... honestly it still makes me cry a lot. You can see in his eyes that he loved his brother even after the very end, and wanted him back. And just IMAGINE how many times Defteros' eyes have shown nothing but the purest love for Aspros, and how Aspros had been manipulated to see those eyes as nothing more than hate. ----- Gemini twins in general - If it wasn't obvious already, I love these two so much. I hate--I ABSOLUTELY HATE--that their brotherhood was RUINED, because these two are so... important to me. I see myself and my sister in the Gemini Twins so much. To the point where it's so personal to me. Even after being manipulated and losing his brother, Aspros still held his little brother very close to his heart and lamented and regretted the fact that he will never get the chance to be the brother he should be. And Defteros... I can't explain why his loyalty and patience for Aspros affect me so much, but it does. It does in a way where it hits me more than just an emotional way. I guess that's because I see my sister in Defteros much more than I should.

I love the twins in such a profound way where I cannot find the right words for it. They obviously still love each other so much, even after all is said and done, and I think that is so important. Having that kind of unconditional love for your sibling is the most important thing in my opinion.

God, look at me, I'm crying over the Gemini twins again for like the 100th time oiwhfowef

     ♚ Cancer Manigoldo - So, Manigoldo... Honestly, I love him, too. But in a different way. When I see Manigoldo, I remember the private threads that a friend and I used to do on Skype, and I am frankly very enamored with him. But also because of that, I do not see him the same way as everyone else too. Besides, he makes up the second half of my OTP, so ofc I'm going to see him differently. Especially since I single ship!

    ♚ Leo Regulus - He's another one that I like a lot! Not only because he's adorable, but I also see him in a different way because I'm a single shipper, and I will never say aloud who I ship Regulus with. I won't say that he's a part of a different OTP (since I only have one OTP in all of Saint Seiya) but I do like Regulus a lot because of a friend's interpretation of him in Private threads a very long time ago. 

Yeah, he might be kinda OP/Gary Sue, but he's not too hateful in my opinion. I wouldn't say he's the best TLC Saint, since my heart is stolen by the twins, but he's a very amiable character when interacting with the characters of the TLC verse, and I wish I can squish his cheeks one day!! He's so adorable! I will say though that he is impressive to replicate a Big Bang(?) by himself... I don't remember if it's the thing that really killed him, but... huh. To be that unafraid of death, I wouldn't be surprised if he has some sort of mental/personality disorder that made him... like that? Something undiagnosed? Hm... thoughts, thoughts.

     ♚ Virgo Asmita - Asmita is one of the gold saints that, I honestly, don't know about. It's different from how I feel about Hasgard. For Hasgard, I don't have an opinion for, but for Asmita, I just don't know. I love how Teshirogi drew his hands. Like damn, bruh, can we switch hands? We're both Virgo, and I think we can make it work out... /kicked

     ♚ Libra Dohko - LOL DOHKOOOO!! My sister's favorite. I feel like he's super impulsive in TLC. I haven't read his gaiden at all, so I can't say much about that, but I do like him! Like with Shion though, I feel like he should have had some sort of heavy Survivor's guilt in the end. I'm also insanely curious about what ability Defteros zonked on him to erase the memory of Athena's blood and cloth. I don't know if it's shown in Dohko's gaiden, but I would love to see how TLC Dohko came across and raised Shiryu.

     ♚ Scorpio Kardia - As a character, I adore him. He's charming, spontaneous, and, like Aspros, wants to live his life to the fullest. And his fullest means just having fun before his short life is ended. Krest might have made him practically immortal, but he's still suffering. However, Kardia also holds a lot of bad memories for me from days before, and his entire character serves as a painful, but a graceful reminder of who I was back then.

      ♚ Sagittarius Sisyphus - Honestly, I don't ever think he was qualified to be a candidate for the papal throne. He's so melodramatic. Yeah, he might treat everyone with kindness and all, but I feel like he doesn't have the knowledge part down. Let alone, he's a brawn brain! Bruh!! Shooting an arrow at "hades" is always a bad idea!! What made you-?! 

Lmfao, if possible, I feel like he and Aspros should have dual-pope'd Sanctuary. One has the brains, but lacks compassion while the other has the compassion but is "shoot first, ask questions and think about that later".

      ♚ Capricorn El Cid - I... should love El Cid, but my mind goes blank a lot around him. He's impressive, I give you that, but I don't think I have an opinion on him. And I've read his gaiden in Spanish a LONG time ago, so I'm not going to pretend that I know him enough to talk about him.

      ♚ Aquarius Degel - hm... I think he's cute. Especially in his gaiden, he's really cute.

     ♚ Pieces Agatha -

[creativefiend19]

Hello! It's been a while since I sent you an ask, so here we go! 😅

Since you are way smarter than me and you understand TRC way better, what are your thoughts on the fact that Glendover was dead?

I remember the first time I read the books I was completely lost on that fact that I even googled some explanations but none of them were enough for my brain to process it.

Also, Noah!

I feel like he was completely forgotten in the last chapters and he simply disappeared as if he never existed, as if they forgot about him!

So, when you feel like it, let me know what you think!!!

💜

Thank you for your always-super-interesting Ask!

I admit that I’ve probably have thought about TRC and Pynch more than is healthy or sane. However, I very much doubt that I am smarter than anyone else, especially when I think over the past 12 months LOL. 

I’ll answer the simpler question first: 

I think when Noah ‘quietly slid from time’ he also slid from collective memory. 

Perhaps this was a way of allowing him to rest, where such powerful people thinking about him along the ley line was enough to pull him back in some way. Or, and this is what I personally think, Maggie was expecting him to play a part in the time loop of the past (that I’m sure was part of the extended TRC storyline). 

Which brings us to ... Glendower: 

It seemed like Maggie had something in mind as a continuation of TRC and the Court of Glendower storyline, with the Camaro wheel and Blue’s face on the flag and Maura splashing in the bathtub of time or whatever. But idk if that’s being carried on into The Dreamer Trilogy. 

The feel of the two series are very different, y’know? The first was Susan Cooper-ish Arthurian-style rural (rather than urban) fantasy. The Dreamer books seem to be more about global para-governmental agencies and art forgery and magical underworld mafias. Maggie seems to have ‘moved on’ in tone and topic - not necessarily an improvement imo.

(We Para G-people Have Been Told The World Will End In Unquenchable Fyre And So We Have Guns Trained On You is not as compelling a plot to me as We Teenagers Are Gonna Find Glendower Cos He’s Still Alive And Ask Him For A Favour For No Reason) contd under the cut...

So the Glendower thread might just be left dangling, like way too many unexplained plot threads in the series. 

The main of which was, ofc, was HIM being dead all this time. 

Maggie said something like (I’m paraphrasing from memory here): “Of course Glendower was DOA. This was always Gansey’s quest to find himself. I don’t know why everyone was so surprised.”

This to me just means she hadn’t earned her plot twist, hadn’t set it up well enough. A good plot twist must be both surprising and make sense in hindsight. This one was the first, for sure, but not the second. 

There were too many red-herrings that needed to be explained then, like Gwenllian (how and why was she alive?) and Artemus (why and how was he even in the fucking story?). I mean, you can’t just say ‘this is magic and inexplicable and not everything needs to be spelled out’. It just seems like lazy plotting to me.

The TRC storylines were the opposite of Chekov’s guns, in a way. There were unexplained firearms everywhere. 

All the deus ex machinas : (ETA: the animal bones coming to life), Henry Cheng coming out of nowhere (tho I love him), the Ravens swarming suddenly, Robobee and the Chase into Gansey’s past, him dying on the ley line and so getting a ‘free’ favour even tho he didn’t wake anyone, Cabeswater remaking him by sacrificing itself. 

(Actually, Noah’s role was the thing that made the most solid sense to me, and had been brilliantly foreshadowed all through the series!)

That’s a lot of unforeshadowed plot squeezed into a very tiny number of pages. And this from an author who had arguably hinted at things from the very first chapter of the TRB. It really had seemed like the world she had built over the series was a lot deeper and more vast than it ended up being. That was the disappointment, I think. We’d expected more because we’d be led to.

(I personally think TRK would’ve been differently written if Maggie had not been so sick. She says something of the sort in her essay on her illness. It still blows me away that she wrote two books in that state. I’m struggling to write my fic in my post-COVID brain fog, so full respect to her).

So, yeah, it’s not you. A lot of the ending didn’t make sense to me either - and Glendower being dead was a big HUH??

Let’s see if things are clearer by the end of The Dreamers Trilogy.

[broodwoof]

Did regular elves already exist when Elgar'nan and Mythal took form? I thought they were the first born. What about humans? Do we know? I' hope I'm not bothering you, I'm just confused about the lore.

no, not bothering me at all!

i'll be honest, i am Not a lore expert. i've played all the games multiple times and i've read into a good amount of the lore, but there are some things that i truly don't know if there are answers to that i missed. and i definitely haven't read anywhere near all the books/comics, so with that in mind...

my interpretation was always that both dwarves and elves existed in what i'll call early thedas. humans i'm not so sure about, but i think qunari definitely did not (i have headcanons about all this bc ofc i do lmao)

for me, the biggest hurdle in thinking that elgar'nan created the elvhen is that i genuinely don't think he is creative enough to have done so. that's interpretive, of course, but that's my read on him. and the little psychic argument he has with solas during davg seems to support that conclusion - none of the wonders of arlathan appear to be elgar'nan's doing, but he sort of takes the creations of others under his mantle. solas points out that june is gone, and elgar'nan says that (paraphrasing) his creations will live on in him and the world he builds

in the witch hunt dlc, there's a... codex, maybe? talking about how a dwarven thaig sheltered elves fleeing arlathan. and my memory is really fuzzy on this, but i believe there's another codex in trespasser, in the ruined library, talking about the dwarves. i believe it was about how they were forced underground, but again, it's been a minute

so between these two, i think it's reasonable but not definite to assume that elves and dwarves lived together. not together-together, but occupied the world at the same time, and were aware of one another before dwarves moved/were forced underground

idk where or how humans come into the picture tbph. i suppose one possibility is that humans are the result of elves and dwarves having children, but that feels kinda like a stretch. but also maybe plausible? like i said, i haven't landed on a firm theory. it's equally possible that humans were just around, that they evolved into the beings they now are within thedas. there may be three - perhaps even four, with the qunari - separate evolutionary branches, which may or may not share a common ancestor. i'm getting into stuff i am not knowledgeable enough to speak on (homo sapiens stuff is not my wheelhouse), but yeah

to your point about elgar'nan and mythal being firstborn: i think that is literal, in that they are the firstborn spirits; not the first spirits, but the first spirits to be "born" and to have a physical body. and i think that this ties in with the concept the dalish have, of elgar'nan and mythal being father and mother of the evanuris (and more broadly, of the elvhen/of elvhen society/culture), that the rest of the known evanuris were literally their children (with the possible exception of june and the definite exception of ghilan'nain). a lot of what the dalish understand as their history has an element of truth that has been distorted and interpreted over time, which is natural

and as for elgar'nan's particular relationship with the ancient elvhen... while i do not think he literally created any of them (although i can understand and appreciate the view that he did!), i do think that he took form in order to guide them. from his pov, he saw these beings - perhaps he saw them as what i'll call proto-elves, beings at an earlier stage of their evolutionary process; or perhaps he saw them as people with an established culture and was drawn to them for another reason, maybe their affinity with the fade and its magics - and he saw that they could be/"should be" guided, shaped, molded. and of course, given his nature, he felt like he should be their guide

[wardens-stew]

The Mask Falling Hints MASTERPOST

Clearly I have wayyy too much time on my hands! 

I have compiled a list of information Samantha Shannon has divulged on social media about The Mask Falling, mostly paraphrased from her Tumblr and Twitter. Some of it dates back as far as 2016, so it’s not certain that all of it will happen - I’ve included an asterisk for the tidbits in which Samantha explicitly mentioned that it was pre-editing. I didn’t include a link to the original source because that would be too much work, but if anyone has questions I can probably find it pretty easily! The recent ARC reviews also include some hints, but I haven’t included them because that would be a crap-ton of text. Feel free to add anything I missed! Anyway enjoy the fruits of my obsession! 

Hints:

We will find out how badly Warden was affected by Paige’s torture - there’s a lot about the effects of her torture in the book 

The non-binary character is a free-world spy, pretending to be French 

Paige has issues with drinking water and showering 

Paige will make another valiant effort to get Warden to talk about his feelings 

Paige’s demisexuality is clarified -  she reflects on the way she wants in comparison to the way the allosexual Nick and Eliza do

Paige gets slammed into the wall by someone, but not Terebell (also not Warden, because then she would be very dead) 

The grey market storyline continues

Etymological connection of Arcturus meaning bear-guard and Mahoney meaning descendant of the bear is worked into the books 

Paige cries

Paige’s PTSD is a thread throughout the book 

Paige has mental and physical difficulties following her torture 

“The scope of everything gets bigger, there's more focus on the free world and how it interacts with Scion, and you'll find out more about Rephaite history and the origin of clairvoyance.”

You may figure out what happened to Procyon

Warden’s aura type is mentioned*

Paige starts calling Warden Arcturus. They have a discussion about it. But she keeps calling him Warden in front of other people. 

The prologue begins about an hour after The Song Rising 

Warden asks Paige to teach him Irish

Contains clues as to the big secret at the heart of the series 

Warden does a few very sweet things

We’ll find out a reason why Nashira considers Warden a possession rather than a partner*

Paige is at her most fragile

One of the characters eats an orange

There is a distinct Priory parallel in one section of the story

Paige asks Warden if Rephaim can get drunk 

We will find out if Rephaim can get physically ill

We’ll get a piece of information that may help us understand the Rephaite logic behind Warden feeding on Paige’s aura 

More about the golden cord

Paige’s feelings with her father will be explored 

We will find out why it was common knowledge amongst Rephaim that Terebell and Warden were once mated 

Warden might tell us what would happen if he tried to eat

More about voyant-amaurotic sex will be explained 

We will learn more about the Rephaim’s internal politics and conflicts 

We get to see Paige’s birthday

We we’ll find out how Warden knows how to develop Paige’s gift*

Paige and Warden butt heads over right and wrong 

We’ll find out why Warden said that Sargas are the only Rephs who choose their mates

We’ll find out more about the half-urge

We’ll find out more about the complicated history between Warden and Terebell

Warden is planning to learn Gaelic (pre-editing)

We’ll find out two of the reasons why Warden hates Nashira so much*

We’ll find out about the promise Warden made to Nashira that she alludes to before the Bicentary

Warden says something with an exclamation mark

Warden will tell us more about the memory of Terebell, and how it was a prelude to one of the defining moments of his existence 

Paige visits Warden’s dreamscape a few times, but we only see it once

Paige addresses the author directly 

Nick isn’t in the book at all

The plot takes place only in Paris

Paige dies her hair red

A character Samantha did not originally plan to be in TBS4 now is

There’s a big scene in the Sainte-Chapellle in Paris

The book is shaping up to be the darkest book in the series, but also contains the most jokes 

Paige feels really ill for most of the book 

Samantha starts hinting at the Grand Backstory of the series 

Paige is under strict orders to stay inside for a month, but she breaks the rules to explore Paris 

The main antagonist was born in “the burning summer of 2019”

We’ll find out about two of Warden’s past relationships 

Paige and Warden have to get food deliveries from a guy called Albéric because they’re not allowed to go outside 

There’s espionage 

Warden uses the super unnecessary word “sennight”

A lot of the book takes place underground

We learn if a non-polyglot could ever learn Gloss 

There is a Very Awkward Conversation*

There is a time skip between the fourth and fifth books

Warden smiles a lot… with his eyes

The ending will change everything 

Scion must change its public face due to an event that happens at the end

People who liked The Mime Order will love it

TBS4 picks up when Paige is resting.

It will go into more detail about how Rephaim emerge

It marks the beginning of Beautiful Dresses in The Bone Season 

It introduces a Rephaite character Samantha absolutely loves, with her favorite Rephaite name 

There’s a scene Samantha has wanted to write for years 

The ending is very dark 

There’s a cute priory reference 

There’s a character Samantha loves - “she’s so cool that I don’t know how a nerd like me invented her”

“The relationship between Warden and Paige gets deeper and more complicated in this one, and you get to know Warden a little better.”

“[Paige and Warden] are together a lot in this book, as they’re sharing a safe house in Paris. It’s the first time they’ve spent a significant amount of time with one another since they escaped Sheol I.  You’ll actually glimpse the ways they both react to being stuck inside in The Mask Falling, as they’re meant to stay hidden in a safe house for a month so Paige can start to recover from her ordeal.”

“It’s a love song to Paris in the way The Mime Order was a love song to London.”

“[Paige and Warden do have some happy calm moments.] Although there’s a lot of action in the book, there’s also quite a lot of downtime. Paige is still recovering from her ordeal in the Archon, so she can’t always be out in the world kicking ass. She’s resting as well, trying to get her strength back.”

“I won’t lie, The Mask Falling is a book to fear . . . but there are some nice bits. Including some coffee-drinking.”

“[Paige and Warden] do so much in this book. So much.”

“Most of the characters who didn’t go to Paris are absent from TBS4.”

“Paige and Warden do so much in this book, I just couldn’t cram any other storylines in. However, several old friends do turn up in it, as well as a bunch of new characters I hope you’ll love as much as I do.”

“Paige [experiences the messiest-most-intense emotion in TBS4]. She goes through the emotional wringer in this one.”

“The second ‘arc’ has the same main characters and the same antagonist. The difference has more to do with the setting, the scope of the narrative, and the type of battle being fought against Scion. You’ll have a better idea of what I mean when you read the end of TBS4.”

“This book puts both [Paige and Warden] through the emotional wringer, but there are lighter parts as well.” “Nick meets an old friend while he’s in Sweden and Paige and Warden will be staying in central Paris, on Rue Gît-le-Cœur. You can see some of the locations from Book 4 here: [x]”

“TBS4 is basically just a long Hurt/Comfort piece with occasional and reluctant splashes of Action/Adventure”

“THE MASK FALLING leans a little more Adult than the other BONE SEASON books. The whole series is officially classified as Adult, but the first three aren't far off YA in terms of sexual content, violence etc. THE MASK FALLING is . . . maybe a tiny bit sexier.”

“Doing my final reread of THE MASK FALLING and naturally I've noticed a recurring phrase that I have used no less than thirty times in the manuscript.”

“It blows the world of The Bone Season right open. It’s where everything changes. It takes place in a brand-new setting and forms the bridge between the two ‘arcs’ of the series. I hope the ending will show readers get why I really do need seven instalments to tell this story.”

“Books 1-4 is what I call the “Scion arc”, but Scion is still a threat in Books 5-7. Book 4 is kind of in the middle, with more of a focus on Rephaim than there currently is in Book 3.”

“He’s in Book 4, he’s French, he’s voyant, and I’m writing his introduction scene now. I think I love him?”

“The draft is about 140 000 words long – a little shorter than The Mime Order – with a veritable tonne of action, espionage, international politics, eerie catacombs, old enemies, new friends, and messy, intense emotions packed into that word count.” 

“This one combines my favourite elements of The Bone Season (Warden and Paige chats), The Mime Order (syndicate weirdness) and The Song Rising (heists and angst)”

“The fourth Bone Season book is well underway, and things are about to take a very dark turn for Paige.”

“It’s mostly focused on Paris, but you’ll find out bits and pieces about what’s happening in both England and Europe.”

“She’s suffering from PTSD and aquaphobia following her water torture in The Song Rising, so she’s pretty much in the ringer for the whole book. There are a few light moments, but she’s under a lot of stress from the start.”

“While I wouldn't call it spy fiction, TBS4 is delving into espionage territory as Warden and Paige, still exhausted from their tremendous efforts against Scion in The Song Rising, attempt to navigate the convoluted political and criminal networks of Scion Paris.”

“Book 4 is a touch more political, laced with subterfuge”

Lists:

Things you’ll see:

The carrières of Paris

A masquerade (ofc)

A mysterious character you haven’t seen in a long while

Arcturus Mesarthim saying ‘hm’ about 18 times

Five words:

Revelations

Politics

Water

Heartache

War

Three adjectives:

Macabre

Emotional

Seismic

There is a lot of:

Warden and Paige

Rain

Classy interior decor

Angst

New characters include:

A spy so fashionable and icy cool I’m unsure of how a nerd like me created her

A tall, irritable Frenchman with a bit of a God complex

A terrifying new Rephaite with an uncomfortably sexy voice

It has:

A Parisian underworld 

A demisexual MC 

A masquerade ball 

Catacombs 

Forbidden, angst-stricken desire 

Verbal consent 

Acknowledgement of periods 

I can promise:

Parisian buildings TOURISTS LOVE. Notre-Dame? It's there, there's a masquerade INSIDE IT. Sainte-Chapelle? Oui. Versailles? Naturally. The Eiffel Tower? Oh, we're climbing it 

Getting DOWN and DIRTY. (By which I mean literally, down, into the catacombs.)

People who arrive in Paris SPEAKING FRENCH because they have been given a job for which they have the correct SKILLSET *bangs table* 

No crêpes (#OhCrepe), but CHAUSSONS AUX POMMES 

ROOFTOP PICNIC 

Not everyone is STRAIGHT 

Chic OUTFITS, all quite filthy by the end

Locations: 

The beautiful Sainte-Chapelle, my favourite place on Earth. 

Rue Gît-le-Cœur, a major location in the book and previously home to the Beat Hotel.

The famous doorway in the Paris Catacombs. The inscription translates to 'Stop! This is the Empire of Death.' 

Rue Montmartre, where we may or may not encounter an old face. 

Preview in gifs:

Originally posted by cinemagraphs

Originally posted by queeniegoldtsein

Originally posted by cumlelerinruhu

Snippets:

Out-of-context chapter title: Chapter 3: Gloomy Coffee

Part names*: 

1. To Pay Thee Free

2. Turn the Anchor

3. Eurydice

Quotes:

“What the fuck is that?” she whispered to me. “Looks like a frozen rainbow.”

“The horizon was as red as if the fire still burned. I watched the sunrise from the roof. Fog breathed into every nook and alcove of Paris, laced over the dark crests of the river, blanched the skin to the pink of salmon. I was sure the air was still spiced with the tang of smoke.”

“So,” he said, “we are choosing larceny.” “Always so surprised when his criminal friend commits crimes.”

“I wouldn’t usually care who you’re riding at any given time”

“I sensed all of this was very important, but I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about”

“I picked up the floundering ribbons of my dignity and started over”

“His home was in decay, and mine lay in the shadow of the anchor. Scion had made wanderers of us.”

Current opening line (circa Dec 18, 2018): “The sun had been climbing over the cliffs when our ship had pared away from Dover.”

“Someone who had heard of me and whose first response had not been to try to kill me. What a treat.”

“A hollow ache stretched out within me. It started in the chambers of my heart, in a place that reached eternally for Ireland.”

“‘I promised you we would stay together,’ he said. ‘In the absence of other options, I will follow your lead on this matter.’”

“‘I’m fine.’ ‘Your attempt to mask the darkness under your eyes serves as compelling evidence of that. As does the full bowl of coffee.’ I cocked my head. ‘Did you just master sarcasm?’ ‘Paige.’ ‘It’s a cup of coffee. With… no handle.’”

“‘There’s no fireplace,’ I stated. ‘No.’ ‘But how are you-‘ A wild laugh was bubbling up. ‘How are you going to cope without one?’ ‘Cope,’ Warden repeated.  ‘You need one. To stare into, pensively. Did you know,’ I said to him, ‘that you do that a lot?’ He tilted his head, which only set off a fit of silent laughter. My ribs ached in protest.”

‘I mustered all the breath I had left and screamed, until I folded on myself and my voice burned to nothing.’

‘Who can break you now, Black Moth, now there is nothing left to break?’

[jesbiblesky]

Some of the funniest scenes in TGCF (in my opinion)

Please, note that I read TGCF in Spanish so some terms and quotes might be paraphrased

• Honestly, the funniest one has to be when they’re at Puji shrine, Feng Xin is disguised as Nan Feng and Xie Lian is about to give him food and Feng Xin pretends that there’s an emergency in heaven and runs for his life so he won’t have to eat Xie Lian’s food.

• When Xie Lian is explaining the red thread to Mu Qing and Feng Xin and he’s like “its not like the red thread of fate lol” so MQ and FX are like “ah okay then what does it do”, so he tells them and they are literally two seconds away from smacking him in the head like what do yOU think the red thread of fate is like

• When Xie Lian and Hua Cheng “”“"exchange spiritual energy”“” and everyone’s like “…” Yi Zhen is like “????” and Pei Ming just goes “Ho Ho”. That cracked me up.

• The statue of Xie Lian running around in heaven half-naked.

• When they’re on some mission in book 3, and Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are talking through their communication array and someone (I think Pei Ming?) asks them if they’re exchanging secrets or talking privately and Xie Lian is like ofc nope, so Hua Cheng raises his eyebrow and says: “Liar.” Please ahdhsbf.

• When the officials think the demon fetus is Pei Ming’s and he is so offended so he asks if the all have wrong preconceptions of him and Shi Qingxuan is like “…nope we just know you too well lol”

• When they caught Ling wen and said she had to pay for what she did and I guess we all thought they were going to jail her or something but their lazy asses just dumped all the bureaucratic work on her.

• The ghosts from the first arc who were fighting because according to one, the other was holding his head ahfhahfhs

• Qi Rong calling Hua Cheng a dog and then calling Xie Lian a dog-fucker hfjavfns

• When Hua Cheng’s skeleton chauffeurs (I don’t know their names so I fondly call the skeleton chaffeurs) arrive at Puji Shrine and Yi Zhen is like WOOOOW. He is like a kid seeing a new toy

• When Hua Cheng is trying to impress Guoshi. I love one demon king.

• When the heaven Eye guy was like “wHY is there so much essence of evil Inside You” to Xie Lian. Is everyone a virgin in this book hahaha

• Pei Ming being like couldn’t you guys just build a bigger coffin @ HuaLian

• I don’t remember what they were trying to do, but I think they were all digging so Hua Cheng who was definitely Not helping was trying to get Xie Lian to stop working bfhwhf

• The officials gossiping in their communication array like it's a WhatsApp group chat.

• Xie Lian having amnesia but somehow still remembering he got laid the night before.

• When Hua Cheng and Xie Lian thought Jun Wu was torturing Guoshi but he was… playing cards…

• The ghosts from Ghost City being such HuaLian shippers and tricking Xie Lian into saying they’re husbands.

• The chicken ghost just chilling in the soup lol.

• When some heavenly official whose name I can’t remember rn was like “ooh you know so much” @ hua cheng and hua cheng’s petty ass replied “no you just know too little”, I love him lmao

• SQX giving away merits like he was Oprah.

I’m sure there is more but my memory is terrible, if anyone reads this and wants to add something please do so ♡

[stillwooozy]

OH THIS IS INTERESTING BTW

I was thinking about the psychology of “kinning” -> I think some interesting discussions can be had. Lets make a zoom meeting of otherkin to discuss the scientific/psychological implications of kinning. jk.... or not? ;) man, psychology is a shitshow, why not have an ~academic conversation~ around this social phenomenon that has kept evolving over the past 20-30 yrs since the termanology has been coined alongside the internet.

Anyways, I was watching this movie called Underdog, a kid dog movie that came out when I was like 7 & I watched it compulsively for a while. Anyways I was watching it w/ my youngest brother cuz if we’re watching a movie for a 6yr old it will be one I enjoy.

There was some scene where the dog gets injected w/ a syringe/needle of shining blue fluid and gets super powers. You see where I’m getting at.... (Eren Yeager kinnie here, unfortunately)

I probably watched this movie DOZENS of times between 7-8 years old. I loved it. It was etched deep into my brain. Then I forgot all about it as one does with their obsessions as a 7 yr old. One day I was done with it, and I probably haven’t conciously thought of the movie again up until this point. But ofc, you don’t “forget” - the memories just weren’t accessible because why think of a movie you stopped caring about?

Then... I’m suddenly 13 yrs old and watching/reading AoT. And Eren gets injected w/ this syringe, which gives him powers. I feel super ~connected~ to the scene, all I can chalk the experience up to is extreme “deja vu” , and this is already a character I’ve latched onto, plus we share surface level similarities.

So down the line. When I “officially” admit “I kin” Eren... a lot of emphasis is always placed on the “deja vu-ness” of kin “memories” and our first experience w/ our “canon” ....

But... What is deja vu really? I mean I’m not discrediting peoples spiritual experience, but come on. You can take a nonjudgemental & validating scientific approach as well. And I’m firmly in the camp that kinning is not necesarrily BAD for people, but it would be safe to say thats it highly correlated w/ mental illness? But correlation isnt causation. I’d say most ppl that are kin fictional characters are LGBT+ too, & depression/anxiety/etc is obviously much higher within that population for a variety of complex social reasons. So yeah. Correlation does not equal causation. But its important to note? Also I’d jump the gun and say fantasty-prone ppl are more likely to “kin” too.

But that’s a pretty fair psychoanalytic perspective to fickin - right? When a person, who is fantasy-prone or prone to utilizing escapist coping techniques or possibly have “identity issues”, discovers a character that not only they share “surface level similiarties” (not just appearance, but could be personality/morality too) and that also triggers intense “deja vu” -> boom, you have a kinnie. Now, I believe that “deja vu” is more like the “tip of the tongue” pheneomena than some otherwordly experience, but that’s my opinion.

I mean, it makes sense. Scenery/situations/events don’t go away in memory, for all we know long term memory is forever, but those memories are just not accessible for a variety of factors. So like, I read the scene of Eren being injected and my brain is like “oh man, i’ve 100% seen this before. I’ve been here. This is so trippy.” And for some reason, that’s a nicer story for my brain rather than to pull some obscure pieces of media and personal memories up from my subconcious and connect them together.

Also. Archetypes and shit. There really are no fully unique thoughts/ideas - whatever that quote is Im roughly paraphrasing. I’m not a huge Jungian but... the premise of archetypes makes sense. Cultures since the dawn of time have been coming up with the “same stories and creatures”, such as like the hero’s arc and dragons being universal. At the end of the day we’re simply an animal, a complex biological organism that is constrained to our tiny reality of this planet/reality. ‘Kinning could just be people relating to the symbolism of some character to such an extent that they see no distinction between themselves and said character. Because why not?

[holysmotez]

So I was wondering if maybe you knew something I, despite my extensive knowledge of ff7, did not. In the remake, Cloud clearly has some sort of fancy gauntlet thing on his left forearm/hand, but he seems to be quite sensitive to touch with regards to that arm. Now I've had a few theories on it, like maybe it had something to do with when he was experimented on, or an injury he otherwise blocked out of his mind, but maybe I'm overthinking it. Do you have any idea what that thing is about?

Hmm, this is a good question, and so I’m afraid I might disappoint you, but I’ll share some of my thoughts on it. I can't say that anything specific about what happened to his hand jumps to mind, even after having recently played through the OG.  Any talk of hands, and my mind immediately goes to how frequently hands (and them being offered/used as anchors and for lifting up) in general are featured as one of FF7's recurring symbols both in the OG and in the Remake as well.  

And so as for Cloud in the Remake, I'd be curious about your theories, honestly!  The first notable segment I think of about this topic is ofc his encounter with Madam M.  Who runs not just any massage parlor, but a hand massage parlor, I might add.  I'm pretty sure it's the only time we see ever see Cloud with his gloves off.  He's exposed here, which is why it follows that Madam M is able to 'see through' and determine exactly the kind of person he is from just his hand.

I thought her line of (paraphrased) 'hands of a fighter, but possessing a certain elegance and grace' might have been simply alluding to a suspicion that he's not really who he says/believes he is.  I also thought he reacted so powerfully to her ministrations because it IS painful (edit: or pain/pleasure; uncomfortable might be the better word)at first, but also kinda mindblowing afterward, for him to be exposed like that to someone.  

I also remember thinking how weird it was to see Cloud's actual, bare hands.

But now you've got me thinking more on it.  Because then there's Chapter 13.  It's blink-and-you-miss-it, but the flashes of his corrupted memories include at least a couple shots of his hands, and including that of a monster (because for one, Cloud is among the supposed failures, too).  Given that hands ARE such frequent symbols, maybe Hojo did administer treatments on him through his hands?  Like maybe in some twisted take on giving him a 'hand up' in the strength department?  What do you think?