#park jongseong angst

[filmbyjy]

MINESTREAM

SYPNOSIS > Wanting to start a new stream series with his best friends, Jay had a bright idea of playing some simple Minecraft with them. Everything was normal, until he realises there is another person in the call with them. He quickly learns that it was ni-ki’s older sister, (name). Watch how streaming a simple game of Minecraft can dig up some interesting feelings between the main leads.

THIRTY-ONE – uh oh

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

a/n: uh oh. the era of perfect boyfriend jay has ended😀

taglist[open]: @bldelaine @velvtcherie @shalkeren @kgneptun @yenqa @dammit-jjk @sionshiii @enhaz1 @mrchweeee @ncityzenz @autumn583 @okokok4 @ariadores @n1k1mura @kwiwin @drunkdazeded @justkatey @thatsroug @auesoooo @bunchofroses07 @j4ysluv @heeseungwifeyyy @smouches @bubblytaetae @dimplewonie @brachioanton @blackhairandbangs @heestrawberries @amesification @rizzshimura @y4wnjunz @rainyjy @pkjay @simjyunnie @imtoanonymousforyou @jungwoneez @jeongingf1 @astrae4 @heartswonn @pinkishyngs @heeseungsbabyy @in-somnias-world @ramenoil @wantmatthew @leehanascent @kayyssw @allisonleannn @kim2005bomi @saurxcream @urmomssneakylink @zyvlxqht @honeyboobear @ddazed-lhs @bee-the-loser @sunkislove @glassesyunjin @eleanorheartschishiya @jayjongie @woninluv @artstaeh @jwnghyuns @junissy @svmjaeyun @clairecottenheart @onigirik1 @woniejjang

(want to be added into the taglist? just send an ask or fill up this short form here!)

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 — 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐚/𝐭𝐡, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐯𝐬𝐞, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 (𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐃/𝐋𝐆 (𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐦/𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬) 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬); 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 (𝟐𝟖/𝟐𝟏)

↬ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥'𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐄𝐎.

↬ 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐄𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 (𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩), 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚'𝐬 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚 & 𝐆𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞, 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐂𝐄'𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧, 𝐎𝐌𝐆'𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐚

↬ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 | 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒: 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

↬ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓: 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟔𝐓𝐇, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 | 𝐄𝐍𝐃: 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟑𝟎𝐓𝐇, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠!

↬ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥'𝐬 𝐅𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨 (𝟒.𝟒𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍: 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐧

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄: 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 (𝟓.𝟒𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: (𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐒???

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘: 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝟒𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝟐𝟎 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩 (𝟏) (𝟓.𝟐𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩 (𝟐) (𝟔.𝟔𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐚𝐝𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘: 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 (𝟔.𝟏𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐩

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘: 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐞

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐮𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐭

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘: 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 (𝟒.𝟏𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝟒.𝟕𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐰𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐞𝐨𝐬

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬' 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝟒.𝟏𝐤)

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐯𝐨𝐥.𝟑

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐑𝐒. 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊

↬ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐘: 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝

↬ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

[pprodsuga]

walk the line | jongseong

summary: park jongseong has one regret and he's spent his entire life atoning for the pain he caused you. when you walk into office under the premise of working together, he's only got one shot to make things right before it's too late.

notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PARK JONGSEONG <3 33.7k words worth of things i want to say to him. also i'm mad that tumblr caps off at 1000 blocks and i had to change the ending...forgive me.

genre: lawyer au

warnings: nsfw and typos, probably. also the surname "kim" has importance. :)

p.s. this banner was made by the lovely and talented @alvojake, love u!!

masterlist

When Jay was eleven years old, his father brought him a souvenir back from New York City when he traveled abroad for a week-long business trip. Jay has always been a big dreamer, too lost in his own reality to acknowledge the everyday life of grade school and all that came with it. It’s a tendency that his parents fostered and nurtured, instilling the belief that Jay could achieve anything he wanted in life if he dreamt hard enough. 

The “I Heart NY” pin sits in the first drawer to the right of his desk. Besides his quick wit and intelligence, Jay would love to believe that pin is the reason why his desk on the fiftieth floor overlooks the city of Seoul. 

Jay doesn’t make mistakes. He’s calculated and smart with his decisions based on cold, hard facts. He trusts his gut and prides himself in taking the high road when things get tough, letting losses go and holding his wins close to his heart. Practicing law isn’t for the weak, and Jay is not weak. 

Yet walking into his office feels bleak on some days. The castle he serves doesn’t seem as golden as it once did in the early stages of his career. The gifts given to him by clients and admirers that sit around his office feel undeserved, no matter how many hours he put into making them happy. His only sense of comfort is the large vinyl collection he has that sits between shelf upon shelf for no one to touch but him. 

Jay is meticulous in his work, rarely letting anyone into his inner circle without proving themselves first. It’s what makes him a great lawyer and what gave him a respectable name to his firm and others alike—Jay takes calculated risks and trusts no one, other than himself, completely.

Still, his days wane between fulfilling and empty. 

He’s one of the first people to arrive at the office with a briefcase in hand and hair slicked back with expensive gel, wearing suits tailored at a few grand apiece. Jay doesn’t leave early either. He watches associates under him file out of the office one by one as the hour goes by until there’s no one left but him. It’s only then will Jay cap his pen or queue an email to send in the morning to make it appear as if he hadn’t spent all night in his office. 

Jay loves his job. It gives him a sense of self fulfillment and it brings him joy to win cases for his clients, who range from high-paid celebrities to private equity firms. While the high salary and other liquid assets are perks of his profession, Jay puts his entire faith into his work and lets his winning streak do the talking for him. 

He has to, or else law school wouldn’t have been worth it. 

For three years, Jay studied from dusk until dawn for the chance to work in the career he’s been dreaming about since he received that ‘I Heart NY’ pin from his father all those years ago. Opening a particularly long chapter that was difficult to analyze never felt like a burden to Jay, not when his life would eventually amount to working at one of the big three law firms in Korea as Senior Partner. 

Jay holds more ownership than he once did and manages his own associate now. He’s no longer at the entrance phase of his career. Jay’s responsible for more finances and harder cases the firm encounters, and he knows his boss and the Managing Partner, Lee Heeseung, expects the best from him. 

Perhaps it’s why he feels compelled to put on his best smile and work until he feels exhausted because he knows he’ll be proud of it down the line. It’s what Jay assumes; all of the early mornings and late nights will prove to be worth it once he’s able to sit back and look down his long, successful career. People don’t admire him for nothing. 

Nothing beats watching the sunset over the horizon as he ends his workday. The golden hues on the sun cascading down the city skyline fills the atmosphere of the office, signaling the end of the day. It’s when Jay feels his happiness. He’ll let the associates go home to catch up on rest and see their friends and families before it approaches a late hour. 

Jay, however, stays behind to finish up on projects before his eyes grow weak and when he can’t keep his yawns at bay anymore. He’s already had his moments to leave at an appropriate time when he was a mere associate. Now, Jay has more responsibilities that he needs to maintain in order to feel like he really earned the title of Senior Partner. So he stays an hour after everybody goes home. 

Jay is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears the sound of knuckles on his glass door.

“Knock knock.” Jake Sim’s voice echoes through the large office, bringing Jay back to reality. He clears his throat and turns around to see the younger man standing before him with a blue manila folder in his hands. “I come bearing gifts.” 

“You’re a bit too late. Christmas was four months ago.” 

“Ha-ha,” Jake laughs dryly. “Consider this an early birthday present, then.” 

Jake presents the folder to his colleague, who opens the file and sifts through the papers at his fingertips. Jay’s eyebrow quirks with interest as he looks between the documents and the man standing before him. It’s something he’s been waiting on for weeks. Something that’ll make or break a case he’s been anxiously thinking about and what’s been making him stay behind until the clock ticks is the only audible sound on the entire floor. 

“I’m only going to say this once,” Jay begins. He points at Jake with the folder. “You’re the man.” 

“I’m always the man, you just don’t want to admit it.” 

The pair smile at each other after a beat. Jay puts the file on his desk and invites Jake to take a seat on the couch by his vinyl collection, one that the man knows not to touch. 

“I heard you’re almost done with the Yeon-Choi merger,” Jake says. “Heeseung mentioned it this morning.” 

“I’m waiting on a fax from them, actually.” Jay takes his specks off of his face and places it nearly on his desk. “Sunoo’s on the lookout for the document. Speaking of which.” 

Jake looks behind him to see Sunoo enter the office space as Jay waves him in. He hands over the stack of documents, freshly printed with the paper still warm to the touch. 

“Ms. Kang just faxed it over,” says Kim Sunoo, a first year associate. “Thank you,” Jay says as he receives the document. He looks at Jake. “Now I’m done with the Yeon-Choi merger.”

“You’d think two global giants in the world of finance  would be at odds with merging given their competitive streak in the past few years, but they’ve just signed a document that lists a communal agreement to share assets.” Jake watches Sunoo leave and waves goodbye before he walks out the door. “Managing this client was an insane move, even for you.” 

“Choi Analytics is nothing if not determined,” Jay informs. “So am I, Sim. You should know that by now.” 

“I think you bit off more than you could chew. You only secured that win with two days to spare.” 

“I have you, don’t I?” Jay teases with the tilt of his head. “Who was it that told you to talk to Yang Nari and convinced her to take that settlement before we could agree to the terms of the merger?” 

Jake laughs. “You, Park Jongseong.” 

“It’s all about working smarter, not harder. Remember that.” 

“Aye, aye, captain,” Jake says with a mock salute.

“Please don’t ever call me that again.”

“Whatever you say, captain.” 

Jay’s mouth quirks. “Go back to the bullpen and finish up the reports. Wouldn’t want you to pull another all nighter.” Jake leaves with a laugh and disappears around the corner. 

The large office with glass doors and windows feels like a familiar set up. His workspace, with his name and title underneath it, feels more like a trophy case than a managerial place of work. His walk to his office from the elevator takes him past the associate bullpen, situated right next to Heeseung’s. This space is his sanctuary and he’d like to believe he performs best under pressure. It’s why he doesn’t mind people peering into his office whenever he’s sitting at his desk. 

The days are long and the work is hard, but it’s the kind of job that makes Jay feel like he’s accomplished something in his life. Coming in as the sun rises and leaving just after it sets doesn’t feel like a sacrifice, nor does it feel like he’s losing out on opportunities when he’s got a bank account filled with zeroes and a penthouse apartment with the same view as his office. If anyone were to ask Jay about his life, he’d tell them he’s pretty damn happy. 

That’s what he tells himself, anyway. Every morning is spent repeating mantras in his head about how far he’s come with the hard work and diligence that came with law school. The late nights and busy weeks spent memorizing cases and writing essays led to his employment as Lee & Associates, where he managed to acquire promotion after promotion through diligent work.  

His newest title itself makes people look at Jay with respect, the kind of attitude he used to strive for when he was a humble law student. His early childhood was spent hearing his father talk about winning in court and the importance of believing in yourself when it comes time to face tough decisions. Jay’s father always advised him to do what he thinks is right, or else he’ll live with a regretful consequence for the rest of his life without the chance of rectifying it. 

Jay’s loyalty and integrity is what makes people revere him. He stands tall and proud, walking into every room like he built the place with his bare hands. There’s never a hair out of place and his wardrobe reflects his luxurious tastes, always a suit from abroad and accessories to match. 

He’s built a good life for himself. His father is still a practicing lawyer while his mother is considering retiring from her wildly successful jewelry business. Jay comes home for the holidays and visits them a few times a month for dinner when he has the time, and he does his best to keep the people around him happy. 

After all, that’s what Jay does best.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

It’s Thursday morning and Jay’s week has gone by without a hitch. His clients aren’t giving him a hard time and he hasn’t had a reason to step into the courthouse at all. In addition, he hasn’t heard any of the associates complain about the workload given to them nor has Jake needed help with a problem for Jay to amend. 

It feels odd to be as calm as he is. Jay wants to welcome it with open arms and sink into his seat until he feels like he’s vulnerable enough to sleep, but he knows that’s not in his job description. Instead, Jay needs to sleep with one eye open. 

“Park,” Heeseung says as he pokes his head into Jay’s offices. “Can you spare a few minutes and meet me in my office? I need to call an impromptu meeting.”

“Sure,” Jay says as he puts a file in his cabinet. “What’s it for?”

“It’s better if we talk behind closed doors. Jake and Sunghoon are already waiting for us.” 

Jay anxiously walks behind Heeseung and fixes his tie, patting it to his chest and smoothing it over in an attempt to distract himself from Heeseung’s cryptic words. He sees Sunghoon and Jake in the office and takes a seat on the armrest of Heeseung’s couch. 

“What’s so important that you need to discuss this in your office with the door closed?” Park Sunghoon, a fellow senior partner, asks. “We didn’t lose a billion dollars overnight, did we?”

“No, but I know you would’ve caught that before that would’ve happened,” Heeseung quips back. “You aren’t our financial expert for nothing.” 

“Damn straight.” 

“What did you bring us in for, Heeseung?” Jake asks. Heeseung takes a moment to gather himself, eyes darting around the office before speaking. 

“It’s about the Hybe Records case.”

“They’re holding a tight leash on people they sign on their main label or subsidiaries,” Jay nods. “Won't settle for a penny less than the recoupment.”

“Which is why a portion of people signed with Hybe came to us to help them rewrite the contracts from here on out,” Sunghoon adds. “Hybe came to us with a bullshit settlement offer and we declined. We’re still working on finding a chink in the armor.”

“Right,” Heeseung says. “What else do we know about the case?” 

“Hybe acts as the bank and their musicians take out a loan to make an album,” Jake says, pacing in Heeseung’s office with his arms outstretched for emphasis. “The artist can use that money however they like and the sales made go right back to the label before they can make a profit.”

“Exactly,” Jay nods, “which is why the label has been terminating their contractual agreement before they can produce the agreed amount of records.”

“Hybe has more than enough money for a buyout.” Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s fucked up.”

“The label keeps the catalog and the money while the musician gets nothing.” Jay frowns. 

“We all know it’s why musicians and idols pick up endorsements or pick up acting,” Heeseung mentions. “I mean, the money they get from other ventures supplements their income that they don’t get from music. But because that’s normal practice and it doesn’t help our sob story angle, I don’t know where else to turn to.”

“We’ve been fighting this day and night for weeks. You’re not telling me you’re dropping this, are you?” Sunghoon asks. 

“Between Jay’s regular clients, Jake’s assisting, my workload, and your cases, we don’t have the bandwidth to fight this. Quite frankly, I don’t trust anyone to work on this but you three.” 

“Is there something we should know about?” Jay inquires. “Did Hybe threaten us?”

“No, nothing like that.” Heeseung sighs. “Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m burnt out. Hybe isn’t making this easy on us and we’re running out of time. What I’m trying to say is I’ve consulted with another firm and have hired outside help. We need fresh eyes on this case.” 

Jay nervously runs his hand through his hair. 

Heeseung’s right, this lawsuit is eating up most of his hours and consumes his thoughts when he’s off the clock. The people being affected are anywhere between starving artists and people who can afford to pay him his billables without question. But the greater good is what Jay thinks about and realistically, he knows it would hurt him to see so many people lose their avenue to pursue their passions. 

Hearing stories from clients makes his heart lurch. Each deposition to discuss what happened behind closed doors with label executives makes Jay’s pursuit that much stronger. To know he has the privilege of obtaining a law degree and being able to work in his dream career without much of a hitch makes him feel guilty when he knows the very people sitting in front of him are putting their passions on the line. It makes him work harder.

He’s no longer the law student that slaved away writing essays and pulling all-nighters to accomplish a task that wouldn’t matter in the long run. Now, all of Jay’s efforts matter. His work will be impacted for years to come and he can’t afford to misstep when handling clients. It’s why he feels so strongly about this case and why it’s hard for him to stop thinking about it when he gets home. A penthouse overlooking the city means nothing if he can’t help the people who got him there. 

Jay knows Sunghoon and Jake feel the same way, too. Sunghoon, who came from a similar background to Jay, has always struggled with finding his voice in the business of law. Now as a senior partner with more at stake, he knows his friend will stand his ground if that means his clients walk away with everything they asked for. Jake, a first year associate having graduated law school after taking a few years off from college, is arguably the most sensitive of the three. He loves his work and finds passion in the people he helps represent. It’s why Jay trusts him and why he chose Jake to be his associate in the first place. 

To take action on behalf of his clients means to succeed. Jay knows he comes from wealth and privilege, and he’d likely be just fine if he chose a career that wasn’t law. But his foot is in the door because his father was able to give him a legacy standard at law school, and it would be a shame to let that go to waste as if he didn’t have anything to prove. Jay knows he does. 

“As we already know,” Heeseung begins to say, “we need all the help we can get on the Hybe Records case. They’re the most powerful label in all of Asia and they’ve got their teeth sunk in every Asian market.”

“They’ve got a dozen smaller labels beneath them and they’re always looking to convince independent labels to give up their ownership,” Jay says. “It’ll be hard to reach a settlement for all of them.”

“I know,” Heeseung sighs. He leans on the front of his desk. “I know you guys can handle it. Between the four of us, we can try to win this thing but it’ll take more time than they’re giving us.” 

“Kid genius could probably read up on their files by tomorrow morning,” Sunghoon snorts as Jake elbows his rib cage. 

“Don’t be silly, Sunghoon. I couldn’t possibly do that in a single night.” Jake smirks. “Give me two days.”

“Show off,” Sunghoon mutters with a hidden grin. 

“Even so, it won’t be enough to fight them. Hybe has hired a plethora of lawyers to back them up and block us out.” Heeseung crosses his arm and is sure to maintain eye contact with the three boys in front of him. “It’s important to keep our clientele, but imagine how much business this would bring if we won.” 

“You think that many musicians would hire us?” Jake asks. 

“I think that many musicians care about owning their own music and not having to pay back a recoupment.” 

“The amount an artist has to pay back before they keep their earnings,” Jake says with pursed lips. “Right. That’s really unfair.”

“That’s the music industry for you.” 

“Labels are greedy as shit,” Sunghoon says with bitterness in his tone. “They make a promise to up and coming musicians and swear they’ll be successful by the end of the year, but they don’t really care about that. They’ll give money to make albums but won’t care if these people live or die if they don’t see a late profit.” 

“It’s sickening,” Jake adds. “It should be illegal for musicians having to take endorsements and sponsorships just to pay the bills. They look like sellouts.”

“I don’t like it any less than you guys do,” Heeseung responds. “But that’s the way it works. We just need to find a good enough reason for them to settle with us. We aren’t budging on the recoupment.”

“Well, I’m glad we all agree that musicians shouldn’t have to pay back their loan.” 

“I’m confident in you all,” Heeseung tells them. “Jay, you’re one of my best guys. You close deals and negotiate settlements like no one I’ve ever seen before. Sunghoon, you’ve been an incredible lawyer since the moment we hired you and you’re the only person I don’t have to keep my eye on.” Heeseung turns to take. “And Jake, you’re a gifted associate with a knack for getting people to tell you the truth. I’ve never met anyone quite like you either.” 

“He makes depositions seem like fun,” Sunghoon laughs. 

Jake smiles dramatically. “Nobody can lie to this beautiful face.” 

“What I’m trying to say is,” Heeseung interjects, “is that you’re all incredible lawyers and I’ve never regretted hiring you.”

“There’s always a but,” Jay comments. Heeseung nods.

“But, our best isn’t enough. Our best doesn’t account for the numerous legal and financial attacks Hybe Records will bestow on us. We’ve been thinking big but we need to think bigger. We need to think outside the box.”

“What do you propose?” Jay asks. “We’ve already gotten a first meeting with Hybe and God knows they’ll pressure us to give them an answer soon. I know that they know we won’t budge and are probably working with a counter move as we speak.” 

“We’re bringing in someone from an outside firm.”

“What?” Sunghoon says. “Which one?” 

“Tang-Young,” replies Heeseung. “They’re a powerful firm, as we know, and were one of the few who declined to represent Hybe.”

“We trust them, right?” Jake asks. 

“We do, yes,” Heeseung confirms with a single nod. “Tang-Young have been kind to us and I’d like to believe we’ve been the same to them. We’ve been invited to consult on cases before and they’ve helped us out in the past, albeit it’s been a while. But we need all the help we can get and they were enthusiastic about assisting us.” 

“I don’t know,” Jay says. “Catching someone else up to speed while we’re this far down the line? That seems like busy work. Unless we have another Jake who can read and memorize documents as quickly as he can, I don’t know how much help they’ll be.” 

“Oh, I think you’ll be pleased with our colleague,” Heeseung says cryptically. Jay looks at him with confusion. “You guys trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course,” says Sunghoon. “I wouldn’t be working here if I didn’t.” 

“Then I’ll need you to trust me when I say the partner working with us is the best in the business. She’s an old friend and someone I confide in, which if you know me, is hard to do unless you work at this firm.” 

“Why are you telling us this?” Jake asks. 

Heeseung sighs. “I’m saying this now because I didn’t have time to discuss the partnership prior to today because of deadlines and we need all the help we can get. A friend from law school, Kazuha, was willing to help us out since we assisted on that auto lawsuit a few months back.” 

“We don’t need to worry,” Sunghoon says. “This is the best law firm in Korea and we have a history of having the highest rate in cases closed successfully. You’re our leader, Heeseung. We know you wouldn’t go behind our backs unless it was important.” 

“We need a miracle for this one,” says Heeseung. “Jay’s already running point on this case but he alone can’t handle the burden.” 

A sinking feeling festers in Jay’s chest. He knows that name–Kazuha–from when he was in law school and knew her family to have built Asia’s largest corporate law firm from the ground up. They’re respectable, highly profitable, and a company Jay would rather not think about because hearing that name reminds him of his deepest regrets. 

His week is offset by Heeseung’s sudden news. Jay has never doubted his elder, especially since Heeseung was a mentor to Jay in his early years of his career, but the hairs on the back of his neck perk up at the sight of Heeseung periodically looking at Jay. He doesn’t think Sunghoon or Jake notices the awkward tension in the room either, too engrossed with talking strategy plans on how to make sure the new, mysterious partner is up-to-date. 

Jay fiddles with the rings adorned on his fingers. The expensive jewelry, some of which are presents to himself and others gifts from his parents, provide a temporary distraction for him. They’re warm to the touch with how often he twists them for every word Heeseung speaks. Jay’s throat suddenly feels too dry. 

“We’ll be fine,” Sunghoon tells Jake, forcing Jay to tune back into the conversation. “I think we’re all on edge because this is by far the biggest case we’ve handled in the past few years.” 

“There are dozens of clients who are filing a lawsuit against Hybe but it isn’t considered class action yet,” Heeseung replies. “We could very well set a precedent if we manage to win this thing.”

“That would put the firm on the map!” Jake exclaims. “Just think about it. If we manage to settle in our favor so that these musicians don’t have to pay the label back, we could set an example so other major labels follow through with no recoupment.” 

“This is why everything’s been kept under wraps and why I’ve had to act before consulting you three.” Heeseung finds a pen from his desk and twirls it in between his fingers. “I love this company. I became managing partner not too long ago and my predecessor took his name off of the door and added mine because he thought I could do something with the firm. You three are people I trust more than anyone else and I wouldn’t have agreed to let you work on it if I didn’t believe we could succeed.” 

Jay can sense the nervousness and anxiety in Heeseung’s tone. In all of his years working with him, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen the man as on edge as he is now. Heeseung cannot manage to sit still and the pen his fingers are distracting him almost like Jay’s rings are. It’s no wonder they work so well together. 

“We can do it, Heeseung,” Sunghoon says in an attempt to quell the atmosphere. “It’s hard and tedious, but what case isn’t?”

“Besides, we have Jay. He is the best closer in Seoul,” Jake vouches, a coy smirk sitting on the edge of his lips as Heeseung merely smiles and shrugs in casual agreement.

The sounds of knuckles rapping on Heeseung’s glass door interrupts their conversation. The image of you standing before him knocks the air out of his lungs.

He’s brought back to when he was a second year law student, struggling in his criminal law class before meeting you for the first time. Your timid and quiet demeanor is nothing compared to the confidence you exude in the present day. Right now, you look put together with your all-black attire and red bottom heels to match. The way you’ve styled your hair allows your face to be seen instead of using it as a tool to hide yourself. Even with all of your perceived shortcomings, Jay remembers you as timid but headstrong. Now, it looks like he’s staring at someone he doesn’t recognize. 

Jay feels innocent again, traveling back to a time before work became the sole focus of his life and before the guilt of what he did to you ate him alive. It feels almost unnatural for him to see you in a professional setting. Sitting in the campus library with opened books or looking at you from across the table of a cheap ramen restaurant is where Jay’s used to seeing you. 

Heeseung’s office is the last place he’d ever expect to run into you. 

The last Jay heard, you were off practicing law in Busan before heading to New York for a few years to consult on Korean-American affairs until your visa expired. He never had the opportunity to see you in court before, not since law school.

There was a time when Jay couldn’t step into a courthouse without wondering if you were inside with him. With every corner turned and every door opened, Jay would anticipate seeing that same beautiful and innocent face locking eyes with him as he stepped into the room. Jay would picture you in those long floral dresses you loved so much staring at him with anger in your eyes, wearing an expression caused by actions he’d never be able to atone for.

Guilt used to eat him from the inside out. The moment his alarm clock woke him up was when the guilt would settle deep within his chest. For a while, this feeling towards the way things ended with you was the reason why he pushed himself to stay in the office after everybody else left, back when he was a first year associate. Guilt led Jay to work three times as hard as everyone else and why he will never leave a stone unturned. 

While that culpability subdued with the time that has passed, none of that matters now. Seeing you in Heeseung’s office with a friendly smile on your face makes that sense of wrongdoing resurface all at once. 

The woman he sees before him is not the woman he remembers. Jay still has the same overly confident, hardworking attitude he exhibited when he knew you back in law school. He’s still the same person who gets tongue-tied when he looks at you and he’s still the same person who regrets never calling you after you both graduated. 

Unlike the disheveled mess Jay remembers from when he last saw you, you’ve become polished. He sees that you’ve grown into yourself with your shoulders held back and head looking straight in front of you instead of casting your gaze to the floor. Your eyes meet everyone in the room, his included. You wear a big smile on your face and take a step forward before bowing towards him and his colleagues. 

Jay doesn’t think he deserves that respect from you.

“Jay’s the second best,” you comment. Even your speech has matured. “I happen to be the first.”

“Everyone, meet Kim Y/N.” Heeseung takes a step forward to return your bow and shake your hand, welcoming you into his office. 

“Y-Y/N?” Jay stutters, eyes widened in shock when he spots you next to Heeseung. 

The reaction is unwarranted and even he can’t believe his words came out like that. Jay pays no attention to Sunghoon and Jake, who look at him with quizzical expressions. Jay can only focus on you, with the way your pantsuit hugs your body and the way your high heels make you stand taller than he remembers you. You’re very confident. Jay wonders what must have changed in the time he last saw you until now.

“In the flesh, Park. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Y/N’s the best chance we got to win this against the biggest record label in Korea,” Heeseung interrupts, forcing Jay to push his thoughts aside. “I don’t need to remind you that our clients are high profile names trying to make a case for musicians who can’t afford to pay back the recoupment. If we lose this, we lose their business. It won’t look good for the company if we don’t secure a public win.”

“A public win means a public loss,” you chime in. “Hybe’s settlement deal is bullshit and we all know it.” 

“Exactly.” Heeseung points at everyone in the room before landing on you. “I know we don’t ask for outside help but we need Y/N. I trust everyone to make her feel welcomed and to give her anything she needs.” 

“It would be an honor,” Jake says before stepping in front of you to bow with his body perpendicular to the floor below him. “Sim Jayeun, but feel free to call me Jake. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He outstretches his hand to you for good measure and is pleased when you reciprocate. His kindness brings a smile to your face.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Jake. I look forward to working together.” The aforementioned nearly falters in his movements as he takes a step back, hearing Sunghoon snickering behind him before you turn your attention to him. “You must be Park Sunghoon. I’ve kept up with your work for a while now. Your work with Kim Mingyu against General Motors was impressive.” 

“All in a day’s work,” Sunghoon says as he brushes his shoulders for dramatic effect. “I’m honored that you know about it.” 

“You saved Mingyu’s reputation for being a whistleblower and forced the company’s hand to not only change their flawed design, but to pay out the victims. You bled that company dry in the process to compensate for the casualties. That’s something worth talking about,” you tell him. “It’s impressive to me.” 

Jay swears he sees Sunghoon blush. 

“Thank you,” says the latter, clearing his throat. “It means a lot that you said that.” 

“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been either.”

Your eyes move towards Jay and he expects to see nothing short of a scowl painted on your lips because the last time he saw you, he remembers Jung Iseul asked him if he loved you in front of thirty of your classmates. 

Jay said no. 

He regrets how he handled it. He wishes he could turn back time and tell Iseul and her friends to leave you alone, and tell her the way she acted was nothing short of childish. Jay would like to believe he’d pull you away from wandering eyes and hold you until your eyes were dry if he was able to turn back time and relive that awful moment, but he can’t. The memory of you looking at him with betrayal in your eyes is what keeps him up at night. 

Jay thought of his own needs before yours, selfishly acting to protect himself from the embarrassment of a public confession instead of thinking about how humiliating it must’ve been for you. Your classmates were never the nicest and often commented on your quiet and shy demeanor. Jay always tried to do his best to encourage you to be the best version of yourself, growing silently frustrated that you’d allow people to say harsh things about your skill sets instead of proving them wrong. What he failed to realize is that you’d grow into yourself at your own time. 

You're not the timid girl you used to be. Jay sees the fruits of your labor standing in front of him. 

When you look at him, Jay’s breath catches in his throat. It’s been years since he last saw you in person and he can only imagine what you must be thinking. Are you seething? Are you angry? Are you here for revenge? Do you still think about that night as frequently as he does? 

Any thoughts of you being spiteful are thrown out the window when he hears you speak in that same, soft tone you always reserved for him. 

“Hi, Jay.” 

He’s quiet for a second too long because he sees Heeseung glaring at him from the corner of his eye.

“Hey.” Jay says pathetically, shifting from one foot to another. “Long time no see.”

“Woah, wait. Do you two know each other?” Jake asks, pointing between the two of you. 

“We shared a few classes in law school,” you explain. “We even graduated in the same year.” 

“Oh, wow.” 

You tilt your head as you look at him. “You seem surprised.” “I’m just shocked that you two know each other,” Jake says. “You have the highest closing rate in all of Seoul and you’re telling me you went to law school with my boss?”

“I’m trying not to take offense to that,” says Jay, who furrows his eyebrows. The atmosphere is too much for his liking and suddenly he feels as if his tie is too tight around his neck. 

“We knew each other a long time ago, but it’s always nice to see a familiar face.” You smile at Jay before turning to Heeseung. “When do I start?”

“Whenever you’d like, but knowing you, you’ve already begun drafting strategies.” 

You grin. “You know me very well, Heeseung.”

“Y/N will be working from our office a few times a week for the next few months to make things easier. She’ll still be handling cases from her firm with an emphasis on the Hybe lawsuit.” 

“Thank you for welcoming me,” you tell everyone before looking at Heeseung. “Care to show me to my temporary office?” 

He smiles. “Right this way.” 

“It was lovely meeting you all,” you say before turning to leave. You pause and turn to face Jay. “It really is nice to see you again.” 

He stands in his spot at a loss for words. It feels as if his feet are planted on the ground with no way to make him move. His mouth might as well be hung open with the way he stares at you and merely nods. Speaking makes him feel like he’s going to choke and say the wrong thing, so he opts to say nothing. 

You exit behind Heeseung without sparing him a second glance and he watches as your figure disappears around the corner, listening until he can’t hear the sound of your voice speaking with Heeseung. His hands are planted firmly in his pocket, the fabric of his suit providing a distraction from the sudden notion of seeing you after all these years. 

He feels Jake and Sunghoon looking at him from the side. Sunghoon merely walks past Jay and offers a pat on the shoulder while Jake enthusiastically stands from his seat and bounces with excitement. 

“You know Kim Y/N? The Kim Y/N?”

“It was a long time ago,” Jay says with a small voice. “We used to be study partners.”

“No fucking way,” Jake swears with his hands on his hips. “How come you never told me? She’s like, one of the most respected lawyers in all of Asia. Did you hear about her work on that Cheong-Smith case back in New York? God knows how tedious working between America and Korea must’ve been. She’s so fucking cool, Jongseong. A badass is what she is. I want to be her one day.”

Jay’s mouth quirks in a half smile. He knows you’ve built a reputation but refuses to read about you in the newspaper or listen to conversation where your name has been brought up. It brings painful memories and no matter how much he chastises himself for being in the wrong, part of him can’t help but hurt and yearn for you. 

If Jake notices Jay’s quiet demeanor, he doesn’t acknowledge it. The former is pacing in Heeeung’s office with his hands rubbing his face as if he’s won the lottery. Jay’s envious of Jake’s ignorance, in a way. He wishes he could forget that night and re-do his friendship with you. Jay wishes he could meet the person you are now if that means rejecting you in front of your classmates never happened. 

“Y/N’s a great lawyer,” Jay finally says. “I’m glad she’ll be working with us.”

“So fucking cool,” Jake whispers in disbelief. He turns to Jay. “I can show her around the office and, you know, show her the ropes.”

“Don’t try anything.” 

Jake puts his arms up in mock surrender. “Hey man, I won’t. Y/N’s someone I view as a mentor. I don’t have weird, unresolved romantic feelings like you do.” 

Jay opens his mouth in disbelief as Jake winks at him before walking out of Heeseung’s office. He sits with his thoughts and wonders if this meeting was a figment of his imagination and if he’d wake up with you halfway across the world and his life being as normal as it can be. 

But he sees you enter your own private space when he walks to the break room and tries not to stare at you too long. It wouldn't be good for his health.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

“This office is pretty nice.” 

Your jaw nearly drops at the sight before you. The tall windows overlooking the city boasts a beautiful skyline with pedestrians barely visible from where you stand. The carpeted floor is plush against the click of your heels and the temperature in the room is just warm enough for you to set your suit jacket atop the armrest of the brown leather couch. 

“It used to be mine before I became the managing partner,” Heeseung tells you. 

“I see. That must be why I like the interior design.” 

Coming back to Seoul six months ago wasn’t your idea. But your visa in America had expired and there was no legitimate reason for you to extend your time abroad. With a heavy heart, you packed your bags and returned to the city with unfavorable memories you hoped to put behind you. 

However, it seems that life finds a way to throw you a curveball and make you face your fears. Returning to Seoul wasn’t for the faint of heart. The familiar sounds of people walking and talking in the street and the scent of street food vendors warmed your heart as best as it could. The memories of your childhood summers spent frolicking in the city because your parents were too busy pursuing their dreams to entertain yours will forever remain a tasteless memory. The sound of squeaky wheels on vendor carts is bittersweet. 

Upon returning, you’d taken a couple of weeks to settle into a new apartment just a few towns outside of the city. The modest apartment is nothing like the penthouse you rented in New York. The amenities were appealing at first, with the tall ceilings and marble statues adorning each room. The affluent neighborhood you lived in felt familiar from your childhood days, although feeling at home wasn’t something you think you could ever do if you lived in a house made of glass. 

The mental images of running inside your parents’ gargantuan household with them nowhere to be seen is imprinted in your mind when you close your eyes. Your mother’s office door that always remained closed and uninviting to anyone but your father and older brother felt demoralizing, as did your father’s study, which was never to be entered. The large house felt more like a fortress than a home. The empty hallways with no one to converse with felt like a prison with your bedroom being your only sanctuary. 

The two bedroom apartment in a modest neighborhood outside of Seoul feels like home to you. The neighbors who garden when it’s warm out and retreat on rainy days feel like friends rather than people you live next to. The children on their way to school wave at you before work and make you promise not to work too late, which is likely why you leave your office at a reasonable hour. If you bring your work home with you and hide behind your curtains as you pretend to watch TV, that’s nobody’s business but your own.

You jumped at the idea of leaving Seoul as you approached your second year in your law career. The idea of exploring a new country in a language you half-spoke felt more exciting than horrifying. Knowing your mentor had recommended you for the apprenticeship served as the encouragement you needed to pack your belongings and say goodbye to your friends, family, and life as you knew it. 

If you’re being honest with yourself, you were running away from your childhood and the wound Jay had opened when he left you alone in front of your classmates. 

That hurtful memory reopened itself when Kazuha pitched the idea of working with Lee & Associates on this case. The both of you know you’re her top choice to fight this battle given your brother’s notable status and area of expertise. Your relation to your sibling is a secret you keep close to yourself with only a select few people in your life knowing, preferring to keep yourself out of the limelight as best as you can. 

Yet the idea of working with Jay made these unresolved feelings bloom at the surface when you thought you had locked them in a box and threw the key away. The sleepless nights were just shy of affecting your work. Day after day, you’d stare at the Hybe Records file to see what information had been gathered, glossing over Jay’s name on each document and each email that was forwarded to your inbox. It hurt over and over again, just like it did when he left you standing alone, never to return. 

But life never works out the way you want it to. Coming back to Seoul was for the best and facing old enemies and seeing old friends is part of your path. Having the grace to prepare yourself makes you reflect on how much you’ve grown in the years you spent away from Korea and that you’re ready to move past the hurdle that’s been keeping you tied down for so long. Or so you tell yourself. 

Heeseung knocks his shoulders with yours. “You don’t seem as shocked to see Jay as I thought you’d be.” 

“I had a few weeks to prepare,” you tell him as the two of you face the scenery in front. “When Kazuha told me I was her first choice to work this lawsuit, I saw Jay’s name sitting at the top of the file.”

“It’s his case, technically. But we all know you’ll outshine him in one way or another.” 

You shake your head. “I’m not here to step on anyone’s toes, Heeseung. I’m just here to do my job.” 

“And see an old friend, I’d assume.” This time, you knock your shoulders against his. 

“Oh, you know it’s always good to see you when I’m on this side of town.”

Heeseung smiles, pleased. “I know it’s been a while since the two of you have seen each other and I hope you know that you weren’t picked for any dubious reasons.”

“I know, Hee.” The man looks at you, tilting his head to assess the true intentions behind your words. “Seriously, I’m fine.” 

“This company would have benefitted from your work,” he replies. “Still, I’m sorry for how things worked out.” 

“That was ages ago,” you wave off. “You really don’t need to apologize for it. I appreciate you fighting to hire me, but Jay has done a wonderful job and you can’t deny that.”

Heeseung shakes his head. “No, I really can’t. He’s one of my best. One of the best lawyers in Korea, I’d argue.” 

“What does that make me?” you joke.

“It makes you the best in the universe.” 

You throw a fond smile Heeseung’s way. “It really is nice to see you again.”

“I meant it when I said you could reach out for anything. 

“Most days, I just need a friend.”

Heeseung quirks an eyebrow. “Is that why you text me photos of you baking at three in the morning?” 

“Precisely. What else would I text you about?” 

The man laughs. “I love the ones where your cat sits on the counter to watch. I love Gerry.”

“For the love of God, Heeseung. Her name is Miso.”

“Yeah, but your cat is orange like a tangerine and in my head, Gerry, is a cute nickname for tangerine.”

“You need to re-evaluate your definition of cute.” 

Heeseung smiles at you fondly and tilts his head. He knows he’s looking at a version of you no one in Seoul has seen before. The new person standing before him is confident in herself and her capabilities, no longer shying away from the spotlight. The person you are now could look him in the eye and call him an equal, unlike when you were an emerging teenager dealing with peer pressure and hormonal acne. 

“Your mom calls mine from time to time, you know,” Heeseung says after a short pause. 

You snort. “Oh God. Please don’t tell me Lee Jiwoo cares about what my mother, of all people, has to say.” 

He shrugs. “She doesn’t, but they were neighbors for forty years before my parents moved. I think your mom has some weird attachment to the past.” 

“You’re telling me,” you say as you roll your eyes. “I remember as kids, she’d force me to go over to your house with the hopes that we’d fall in love and get married someday.” 

Heeseung laughs. “God, you were so hung up on Lee Seokmin that you barely paid attention to me.” 

“If I recall correctly, you were head over heels with Kang Ara and that made you a lovesick fool. Who knew you were into older women?”

“She was nice enough to help me with my homework, okay?” Heeseung defends himself as he laughs. 

Recounting childhood memories with you feels warm. When you’d left Seoul in pursuit of a career in America, Heeseung knew you were running away from your problems rather than facing them. He grew up seeing the harsh reality that was strict parents who placed too high of a standard on you whereas your older brother remained unharmed by their lashings and expectations. 

Heeseung always chided the way his friends would tease him when he walked you home from school or offered to make room for you in his house when your parents were home. He’d witnessed the volatile relationship between the three of you and offered his household as a sanctuary for as long as he could. Heeseung’s parents offered the kind of hospitality he wished you could receive from your own parents. 

Still, it feels warm to know you chose to return. Seeing you in your element makes Heeseung think he must’ve done something right all those years ago, even if you briefly lost touch when you moved overseas. 

“I’m really grateful for you, Hee.” You lean your head on his shoulder and cross your arms in front of your chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for being so nice to me when we were kids. You were always so popular with the girls and every guy wanted to be you. I know people made fun of me when we’d walk home from school together. Knowing you defended me and made me feel like a normal person despite my relationship with my parents makes me feel happy.” 

“I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?” Heeseung asks. He feels you nod against him. “It killed me to see you fight with your parents and I didn’t care that Han Bora got jealous of you or that Choi Youngchul made fun of me for having a girl around. You were more than that to me.” 

“I love my brother, I really do.” You bite your lip to keep a sigh at bay. “But he’ll never understand how my parents treated me. I know he loves me and I know he did everything he could to protect me when we were younger, but he still reaped the benefits from our parents.” 

“No apology from them can outdo everything you went through,” Heeseung says. He leans his head on top of yours. “You were my best friend, even if I didn’t say that to you. Everyone at school wanted to be my friend because I went puberty faster than everyone else but you always treated me as the same kid who got a bloody nose after falling face first on the pavement.”

Heeseung smiles when he hears you laugh. “I told you to tie your shoe laces.”

“SInce when do I listen to what you say?” 

You pull yourself from him. “Thanks for always being there for me, Hee. I hope you know I’ll work my hardest to win this case.” 

A knock at the door brings both of your attention behind you. Jake stands politely and bows his head as he enters when Heeseung beckons him inside. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Jake says carefully. 

“Not at all,” Heeseung assures. “Is there something you need?”

“Actually, I was wondering if I could give Y/N a tour of the office. I’d love to show her around so she feels more comfortable and familiar.” 

“That’s a great idea, Jake.” Heeseung turns to you. “Why don’t you settle in and make yourself at home for an hour, yeah? Let Jake take you to the cafe that’s across the street and use my company card to pay for it.” 

“I’ll never say no to you paying.” Heeseung rolls his eyes at your playful banter but hands you his credit card regardless. Seeing you this open with him warms his heart. 

“We won’t be long,” Jake assures. 

Jay approaches where the three of you are standing and busies himself in the bullpen when he notices you and Jake walking out of the office. Pretending to be intensely reading a document about finance, Jay prays you don’t see him and waits until the two of you are out of sight to walk towards Heeseung. 

His footsteps feel heavy as he enters what is to be assumed, your office. 

“I already know what you’re thinking,” says Heeseung with his hands in his pockets. 

“Then you know I’m going to ask you what the hell is going on.” 

Jay has seen his fair share of hard moments from the man standing in front of him, whether in court or behind closed doors. He knows Heeseung to be someone that mentors by giving tough love and credit where it’s due, playing the role of a fair judge in the name of building a strong career. Jay is no stranger to people being upset with him, least of all Heeseung. 

“Do I need to remind you that I'm the managing partner and that I don’t need to consult you on my decisions?” 

“You don’t,” Jay begins, “but you know the history I have with Y/N. A little heads up would’ve been nice.” 

“We don’t always get a heads up when the stakes are high, Jay. You know that. I tried to be as forthcoming as best as I could but we only heard confirmation a few days ago and you were out of the office preparing for your briefing.” 

Jay breathes deeply. “You of all people know we left on bad terms.” 

“So you should know that Y/N is like my sister,” Heeseung retorts. Jay can hear the slight venom in his elder’s tone. “I’m able to set aside my differences because it’s my job to do so and because I like you.” 

“Heeseung–”

“Have you ever stopped to consider that you’re the only person making this awkward?” Heeseung asks, looking at Jay directly into his eyes. “Nobody else seems to be having any problems with Y/N joining this lawsuit.

“You are one of the best lawyers Korea has ever had the privilege of seeing, Jay. Hell, this company owes you a lot. But you can’t tell me that Y/N being here has affected you this much to the point of coming to talk to me about it in my office.”

Jay remains silent knowing Heeseung’s right, even if his pride refuses to quell. 

“You made your choice all those years ago and from the looks of it, Y/N seems to have moved on.” Jay nearly chokes at Heeseung’s words. “You need to move on as well, Jay. Do whatever it is you have to do to get your head straight.”

Jay shuts his eyes for a brief second. “It’s really hard, Heeseung. It’s hard to forget.” 

Heeseung’s expression softens. “She’s not seeing anyone.”

Jay abruptly opens his eyes. 

“That is not what I meant.”

Heeseung smirks. “Sure it wasn’t.”

“I’m serious, Lee. I just regret how it all went down and I regret not reaching out after graduation. My parents took me abroad for the summer to celebrate. I was so caught up that I didn’t make time for Y/N.”

“You can still make time for her now.” 

Jay shakes his head. “It’s too late. I’d bet anything to know she hates me.”

“Well, I know for a fact that she doesn’t. If we’re talking about the same Y/N you and I both knew all of those years ago, then you know she doesn’t hold grudges.” 

“But we know she can.” Jay sighs. “You know about her parents.”

“Two people bringing her into this world just to treat her like nothing is far different than a boy not calling her back.” Jay tries to not take his comment to heart no matter how much it stings. “The difference between you and them is that you have the chance to make this right and correct your wrongs.

“But let me make myself clear. You are to work with Y/N and make her feel welcomed during her time on this case. I don’t care how you do it as long as your head is clear and you can work beside her without letting your feelings get in the way.” 

“Understood.” 

Heeseung’s expression softens. “You know I care about you, man. I wouldn’t have agreed to be your mentor if I didn’t think you were worth it.” 

Jay nods. “I know. I just forgot that you two knew each other as well.” 

“You should’ve seen Y/N back when she was in middle school. Still as timid as she was in law school but still the kindhearted person we know.” 

Jay tries to picture what you were like as a child. He’s seen photos of you from preschool until the day you graduated college and wonders if you were the same shy, timid girl he knew you to be before the two of you parted ways. Would you two have been friends in elementary school? What kind of foods did you like to eat? Did you have a happy childhood? 

He knows the answer is complicated. Jay’s assumption is that your parents, who happen to manage the biggest law firm in Korea through defending oil companies, did not value you as much as they valued your older brother. He, who was their prized possession, often tried to pull you into the spotlight with him. Jay remembers you talking about him fondly like he hung the moon in your night sky. It brought him a sense of peace to know there was someone always looking out for you when you were younger. 

After all, your brother was the only form of family who came to your graduation during law school. 

Jay remembers him standing tall, clad in a mask and clothing that made him unrecognizable. He blended in with the crowd and made himself seem smaller than he actually was in order to remain undetectable by people who weren’t you. Jay always wondered why you were hellbent on keeping your brother’s identity a secret and why you refused to share photos of him despite having shown him other pictures of you in your youth, but it made sense once Jay saw him pull the mask down and smile for a picture. 

He knows he doesn’t deserve to ask you how your brother has been or what you’ve been up to since he last saw you all those years ago. Jay feels a lump grow in his throat when he thinks about working with you and having to talk to you about the case against Hybe. He wants to, and he wants to build a relationship with you that doesn’t result in him panicking when you look into his eyes, but he doesn’t know where to start.

“Don’t think too hard about it,” Heeseung advises when he notices Jay growing quiet. “You’ll know what to do when the time comes.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jay says with a sigh. “You weren’t the one who broke her heart.” 

“Y/N’s resilient. You and I both know the lengths she went through as a kid and how successful she is now. She wouldn’t have taken this case if she wasn’t willing to work with you. That should be a sign in itself.” 

Jay takes Heeseung’s words into consideration, but it goes through one ear and then out the other. His heart won’t stop beating at a rapid pace and he can’t help but feel like there’s no hope for him at all.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Heeseung seems to know you too well. 

The cafe across the street speaks to your soul with their delicious drinks and delectable pastry menu. You buy something for Jake on Heeseung’s card too. He merely looks at you with wide eyes and stutters over his words when he asks if you’re allowed to do that, to which you wave him off and say you’ve known Heeseung far too long for him to care about another fifteen dollars missing from the company funds. 

“How long have you known Heeseung?” Jake asks as he takes a sip of his drink. The two of you sit cross from one another, basking in the atmosphere of the lunch rush hour. 

“Our whole lives, practically. I think his parents moved next to mine way before either of us were born. They always joked that we’d get married and have that fairytale ending.” 

Jake raises his eyebrows. “Is that still happening?”

“God no,” you say, shaking your head. “Heeseung is like a brother to me. He’d walk me to and from school when we were younger and hung out with me, back when I was a timid mess.” 

“I don’t think I could ever imagine you as shy.” Jake blushes when he realizes he’s speaking candidly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.” 

“Pray tell.” 

“W-Well,” Jake stutters, “it’s just that, people talk and I know you know that. I’ve heard people brag about what an amazing attorney you are and how you dominate the courtroom. Or, you know, even the opposite, when people would tell me sob stories about losing to you.” 

You stifle a laugh. “I’d like to think I’ve come a long way since law school. I don’t know if Jay’s ever told you, but I used to be very quiet. I kept to myself a lot. I didn’t have enough confidence to talk in class and panicked every time I was picked for a cold answer.” 

Jake shudders. “I hated that. I was somebody who always came prepared to class but being put on the spot made me feel like I didn’t read the material at all.” 

“Confidence comes with practice,” you tell him. “This job has built my self esteem, especially when I moved to New York for a few years. I didn’t speak English very well, just bits and pieces from music I grew up listening to and because my brother is fluent as well.” 

“Do your parents speak English?”

You shake your head. “Broken English. My brother’s a special case. He listened to a lot of rap music behind our parents’ backs and dedicated so much time into learning how to rap in English that he became fluent. He was obsessed with the show Friends, too. I picked up after him.”

“Your brother seems like a cool guy.”

You smile into your cup. “Yeah, he is. He’s part of the reason why I took this case against Hybe Records. It feels right to fight for the underdog, you know?”

“Jay says the same thing,” Jake tells you. It makes your heart twinge. “He’s been my mentor for the past year and I don’t think I could ever thank him for taking me under his wing. I’m sure you know–he’s the type of guy to be fair and just. I never feel like he’s looking down on me, even when I royally screw up and he has to fix my messes.” 

“He used to be really good at talking me down a ledge in law school,” you laugh. “I used to get so hot headed and frustrated every time I couldn't understand a brief or when I’d read for too long. Jay was always the calmer one between the two of us. He’d tell me to take a breath–”

“–and take it easy,” Jake finishes with you. You smile. 

“Yeah, that. I still think about him saying that to me when times get tough. Jay was a big reason why I even graduated law school in the first place.” 

“I thought you graduated at the top of your class?”

“He and I held equal rank,” you explain. “But mostly, he helped me see the bigger picture, you know? Jay always put my goals into perspective and reminded me why I wanted to become a lawyer in the first place.” 

“Why did you?” 

You set your cup down. “It feels right to help other people in ways that can’t be seen. No one talks about financial burden or responsibility. I had more than enough privilege growing up and it’s unfair that the rest of the world will never experience that kind of safety. If I can provide some kind of comfort for people going through tough times, who am I to deny them that?” 

Jake nods. “I understand. I didn’t grow up in a legacy family myself and it makes me feel better knowing there are good people like you who pursued law. I guess that’s also why I wanted to become an attorney. I want to help people and this is the best way I know how.”

“Does Heeseung still make you guys take on two pro bono cases every year?” 

“Three now,” Jake corrects. “But I don’t mind it that much. I love meeting new people and it makes me happy when we secure a win for them.” 

“This job has brought me out of my comfort zone and has made me feel more confident while doing it. I owe a lot of that to Jay and Heeseung.”

“I’d love to learn from you,” Jake says honestly. “Even if it’s watching you in depositions or preparing case files. I feel like I could learn a thing or two.” 

“I’d love that, Jake.” 

He smiles. “I still can’t believe you knew Jay in law school. What was he like? I’ll bet he still had the same, brooding glare when he’s focused.” 

“I think that was part of his charm,” you say with a fond smile. “Girls loved him. I mean sure, he came from a powerful family, but I think people were digging the whole ‘I-Don’t-Want-To-Talk-To-You’ vibe.”

“So how did you two end up becoming friends?” 

“We sat next to each other in our criminal law class and he was struggling with a few cases,” you explain. “I excelled in criminal law while he excelled in intellectual property, which was a subject I needed help in, and we formed a study partnership in our second year.

“I couldn’t really tell you how we got as close as we did, though. We met in the library a few times a week before realizing being in a quiet environment made us too tired to read. We’d find coffee shops all over town and would end our study sessions with a late night dinner before parting ways.” 

“That does sound like the Jay I know,” Jake laughs. “I don’t think I’ve seen him go home before the sun goes down.”

“Everyone knew how diligent he was with his work. He was always so confident in class when answering questions from our professor. I’m pretty sure everyone was intrigued by him. Jay mostly kept to himself until he and I became friends.” 

“I can totally imagine Jay being a lone wolf.”

You laugh. “He was, kind of. We started hanging out without the premise of studying shortly after. He was probably my closest friend at the time.” 

Jake can see a lingering thought behind your eyes but chooses not to comment, instead checking his watch for the time. 

“Oh, we should probably be getting back soon. I’ll show you around the floor so you can get situated before you work.” 

“That would be great, Jake. Thank you for volunteering to do so.” 

On the walk back to the office, your steps become heavier as the reality of your present sets in. Jay, a former crush and confidant, sits just out of arm’s reach. 

You replay the night in your head when Iseul had cornered the two of you at the local dive bar with the rest of your classmates upon celebrating the last final days of law school before graduation. At that time, everyone had received final offers from recruiters and were placed in law firms across Korea, yourself included. 

It hurt to know that there was competition with Jay to join Lee & Associates, and that he was the chosen candidate. It hurt more to know that Jay couldn’t bring himself to reject you in private. 

Iseul’s smile burns in your memory when you recall the way Jay walked away from you. Her wicked grin has etched itself into your mind, especially when you close your eyes. Time and distance has been kind to you, especially knowing she had moved from firm to firm because of negligence on her part, but you reckon there will always be a part of you that will remain standing in that dive bar feeling like no one would be willing to catch you as you fell. 

That sadness planted deep seeds of distrust within you. That melancholy feeling followed you throughout the summertime, especially when Jay didn’t make the effort to call you during the summer that followed graduation. 

It felt beautiful to be wanted by someone as kind and generous as Jay. It felt just as wonderful to be wanted by someone who you considered to be sought after. The brooding, quiet boy everyone thought to be mysterious had an energetic, talkative personality if you got to know him well enough. It was no wonder that you developed a crush on him towards the end of your second year in law school together. 

When you think about it now, it must’ve been sickening to watch you follow Jay around like a lost puppy. You certainly felt like it from time to time. The two of you only shared one class in your final year together but stuck by each other for study sessions nonetheless. Jay was always more popular out of the two of you, always knowing people who passed him by and waving at other law students. It made you feel like you had to live up to a certain expectation and to branch out in order to be seen with Jay, but he always made it a point to tell you that it didn’t matter how many friends you had. You were always going to be his favorite.

You’d always considered yourself as an awkward, stuttering mess when it came to making friends. Something about Jay quelled your fears about socializing and playing the part of an extrovert with his calm tone and soothing demeanor. On most days, Jay was the person who encouraged you to relax and let your thoughts run wild before making brash decisions. He was the first person to listen to you talk about the burdens your parents placed on your shoulders without insinuating you had to be grateful for the life that you were born into. 

You were. You are. But you aren’t grateful for being neglected and being made to feel like being born was a mistake and a burden. 

Jay has seen you at your worst, whether it be tearing up over a low test score or coming back from winter break after a couple of weeks with your family. You’d argue that you’ve been with him at his worst too, having seen Jay cry a few times throughout your friendship from frustration and stress. There was something about your bond that made you believe he trusted you with his heart and soul, and something that made you believe you could trust him too. 

The weight of your parents’ actions, coupled in with Jay’s selfishness, made you numb for a while. 

His silence and the lack of an apology felt like the ultimate betrayal. You deleted his phone number out of anger when you began your position as a first year associate. You kept your head down and used work to distract yourself from the hollow feeling inside of you, often wondering how Jay was doing at Lee & Associates. It hurt to know you didn’t have a relationship with him where you could tell him about your day and discuss the stress of cases within legal limits. It stung to know he likely didn’t care about you enough to repair the bond after not having called you all summer. Deleting his number, as well as all of the pictures and videos you had of him from your phone, felt like the last straw. Jay was no longer going to be in your life. 

It was why choosing to relocate to New York was so easy for you. Physically leaving Jay behind meant running away from everyone who had ever hurt you to start anew in a city where no one knew your name; this was a fresh opportunity to become the confident, carefree person you always yearned to be, the type of person you knew you could be. Having to navigate a new environment in a language you barely spoke strengthened your self confidence and demonstrated your resilience. If you could overcome this, you could overcome anything. 

Seeing Jay’s name in the original Hybe Records case file startled you, but it wasn’t as jarring as you thought it would be. You imagined what you would say to him if you ever got the chance to see him in person again. Would there be screaming? Would you cry? Would your throat close and feel like you were choking on your words if Jay were to have acknowledged you in any way? 

Would Jay apologize for the night he left you? 

The answer, you later found out, was none of the above. Instead, seeing the name ‘Park Jongseong’ caused a flurry of evocative memories to replay in your mind. After years of dealing with the torment of not feeling good enough to keep your loved ones around, the struggle to find who you were in an industry unkind to timid people like you dissipated with every hour spent working. The more you worked, the more you strategized about winning cases. The more cases you won, the more confident you got. 

Taking on the case against Hybe records was already a no-brainer for you. Your brother is far too passionate about music to ever forgive you for passing up a case you know so much about. Not even Jay could have deterred you from working on it. Even so, you’re eternally grateful that seeing his name doesn’t bring up unpleasant feelings like it did once before. 

Jake brings you out of your thoughts when he opens the front door for you. With a bright smile and your guest badge in your hand, you walk past security without a hitch and take a deep breath before following Jake into the elevator and back to the main floor. 

“I think you’ll really like the associates and paralegals,” Jake says to make conversation on the long trip to the fiftieth floor. “Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki are my favorites, though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Sunoo’s a first year associate and he’s brilliant,” Jake explains. “He’s quick on his feet and he’s quite bubbly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so excited to be awake at eight in the morning like he is. Jungwon’s our best parasocial as well. He’s incredibly smart and quick-thinking, and he’s thinking of studying to take the entrance exam to enter law school, actually.”

“Oh wow,” you say with a nod. “That’s incredible. His experience as a paralegal will definitely prepare him for that.” 

“I think so too,” Jake agrees. “Riki’s our legal intern for the summer. He’s passionate about his work and really funny. He’s got a natural charm to him, even if his resting face makes him look unapproachable. You’ll like him.” 

“If Heeseung trusts you, then I trust you,” you tell Jake, stepping out of the elevator. 

“Speaking of Sunoo,” Jake mumbles as he expedites his pace to catch up with the brunette. “Sunoo, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Kim Y/N,” Sunoo says with a perpendicular bow. “An honor to meet you, truly. I’m Kim Sunoo” 

You reciprocate. “I appreciate your kindness, Sunoo.” 

“He’ll probably scream about you bowing to him in the break room,” Jake laughs. Sunoo swats his arm. 

“Yah. Maybe if you were half as cool as Y/N, I’d scream about you in the break room.”

Jake pouts before smiling. “I was just telling Y/N how you’re one of my favorite first year associates.”

“He spoke quite highly of you. I heard that you’ll be assisting on the Hybe case with us?”

“If at all possible!” Sunoo exclaims. “I wouldn’t want to overstep.” 

“Nonsense,” you say as you wave him off. “I’m sure Heeseung will talk to you about this sooner or later. I saw your name on the file when he and I spoke earlier. I have a feeling we’ll be working together quite often, Kim Sunoo.”

The aforementioned blushes. “That would be amazing.” 

“We’ll see you later,” Jake says as the two of you wave goodbye. “See what I mean? He’s a ball of sunshine but his bite is definitely worse than his bark. Sunoo’s incredible when it comes to reading clients to absolute filth.”

“He seems sweet,” you say with a pout. “Who else am I meeting again?” 

“Jungwon!” Jake shouts as he knocks on the glass door with the title ‘YANG JUNGWON | PARALEGAL.’ 

The boy looks up and rolls his eyes before registering you standing behind Jake. You hear him clear his throat and fix his posture before standing, beckoning the two of you into his office. 

“Sorry,” Jungwon apologizes with a bow. “I’m sure that, by now, you know how loud Jake can be.” 

Jake merely laughs. “It’s because I like you, Wonie.” 

Jungwon faces you. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jungwon, your resident paralegal. Let me know if you ever need anything and I’d be happy to help!” 

“Jungwon’s the best paralegal Lee & Associates,” Jake tells you. “It’s why he’s the only paralegal that has his own office.” 

“Anyway,” Jungwon says, hiding a blush from Jake’s compliments, “this is my second year with the company and I know it like the back of my hand. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever need anything.”

“That’s really sweet of you to say, Jungwon, thank you.” 

“Anything for a friend of Jay and Heeseung!” 

“We’ll probably come back to you before the day ends,” Jake says to the younger boy. “Is Riki still on his lunch break or is he in the bullpen?”

“He got back a few minutes ago.”

“Sweet,” Jake says. “Let’s go meet the rascal.” 

Riki and Jake have a closer bond than you expected, with the younger boy greeting his elder with a bright smile and a handshake they seem to have perfected. He turns to you and listens as Jake introduces the two of you before he bows politely. 

“Riki’s from Japan but chose to study here in Korea. He and Jungwon want to take the LSAT together,” says Jake.

“あなたは日本語を話していると思います？” you ask him. I assume you speak Japanese? 

Riki’s face beams.

“はい、そうです,” he says. Yes, that’s right. ?どこでそれを話せるようになったのですか” Where did you learn to speak it? 

“私は高校で学びました。 しかし、もっと練習が必要です.” I learned back in high school. I need a more practice, though.

Riki smiles and shakes his head. “Your Japanese is perfect.”

“Ah, you flatter me too much.” “That was so fucking cool,” Jake says. “You speak Korean, English, and Japanese?”

“Add in a little bit of Spanish and we’re golden.” 

“You’re officially the coolest person in this goddamn office.” 

“I hope our paths cross before your work here is done,” Riki says with another bow. “I need to get back to work, unfortunately.” 

“Please, don’t let me keep you!” Riki smiles at you once again before disappearing into another office. “You're right, I really do like him.”

Jake smiles and points across the room. “The break room is just around the corner and is always filled with coffee, tea, and other snacks. The secretaries at the front of the floor make sure it’s stocked to the brim but if anything is missing, just ask. They’re usually happy to replenish.” 

“Good to know.” 

“Do you need anything else from me or are you ready to win this goddamn case?” 

You smile. 

“Let’s win this goddamn case.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

In the two weeks that have passed by, Jay still hasn't mustered up the courage to speak to you. 

Beyond a polite greeting when the two of you cross paths in the morning, Jay can barely smile at you without his heartbeat betraying him. His chest starts to tighten and his tie feels too tight around his neck when you look into his eyes. If you look deep enough, Jay is sure you see all of the regret he’s harbored for so many years. 

Heeseung has had to tell him to get a grip twice already. Jay isn’t slacking at his job as much as he thought he would. But if his mentor and dear friend could notice how awkward he was acting around you, Jay was sure you could sense it too. 

In truth, Jay doesn’t know how to talk to you. He’s never felt pain like this before. He yearns to hear your voice speaking to him and to converse like once before, but he doesn’t know how to. This obstacle causes pain within Jay, and he wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to say more than a sentence to you before your time with him is over. 

Watching you talk freely with his colleagues is foreign to him. Jay can’t wrap his head around the fact that you’re much more confident than you were back when he knew you. The same girl who couldn’t go a few sentences without looking at her shoes is holding eye contact and smiling after she speaks. You don’t cower over your body in an attempt to make yourself look like you’re hiding in your shell. Now, you speak with assertion and hold your chin level with the floor as you hold conversation. 

It’s jarring, but a large part of Jay can’t help but feel proud of you. If there’s one thing he knew you wished for back in law school, it was to grow your self esteem. Having parents who belittle your dreams and spoke pathetically about your life choices didn’t leave room for you to understand what liking yourself looked like. The accolades and achievements your parents were bestowed with felt unnatural when you knew it was only a matter of time before they had something negative to say. As attorneys themselves, defending oil companies who don’t care about oil spills in the ocean or bribing employees to keep a quiet mouth about misfortunes never felt like confidence to you. It was cowardice.  

Seeing your parents in magazines with a perfect picture smile never made you want to emulate them in any capacity. They look like dolls, playing the role of hardworking attorneys and devoted parents until they cross the threshold of your home, letting the mask fall to the floor. Their confidence felt brazen. They didn’t deserve to be your role models. 

Yet, here you are. 

Jay doesn’t notice that he’s been staring at you from his office door until Sunghoon knocks his shoulder with his own. 

“Quit staring unless you want to look like a creep.” 

Jay clears his throat. “I wasn’t staring.” 

“Sure,” Sunghoon smirks. “And I don’t handle the majority of our finances.” Jay rolls his eyes. 

“I know what you’re gonna say and you don’t need to say it. I know I need to talk to Y/N.” 

“You’ll regret it if you don’t.” 

“I know, Hoon,” Jay says. He spares one more glance at you before looking away. “But it’s hard to try when I don’t think I deserve any respect or forgiveness.” 

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but it’s obvious that something did happen by how tense you are when she’s around.”

“Am I really that bad?”

Sunghoon nods. “Y/N can tell. She keeps looking at you when you walk away.”

“Shit,” Jay curses. 

“Whatever happened back then was a long time ago. I obviously don’t know her as well as you do, but she’s been a great asset to the team since she joined. She blends well with everybody and leaves her office door open most of the time. Y/N talks to the associates and interns when she’s taking breaks. She wouldn’t do all of that if she wasn’t willing to talk to you.” 

Deep down, Jay knows his friend is right. But it’s hard to convince himself to talk to you when he pictured the agony on your face before he turned around and left you by yourself with the wolves. It makes his heart lurch from left to right. This feeling only quells when you’re out of sight and when he’s distracted with his work. 

“Try,” Sunghoon says. “I know it’s scary, but the universe put her right back in your life for a season.” 

“I know,” Jay says quietly. “Thanks, Sunghoon.” 

“Anytime.” 

Sunghoon leaves and Jay fixes his posture, pushing his shoulders back twice in a row. Jay still thinks you are the most beautiful and selfless person he’s ever seen. Looking at you makes him feel like a small volcano has ruptured within his heart and the cage that once kept his adoration for you hostage no longer keeps him in the dark. Jay isn’t the insecure young adult he was when he knew you. Even he is more sure of himself. 

Jay thinks you look gorgeous now that you’re smiling more. He remembers all the times he used to take candid photos of you during impromptu moments and the squeals of discomfort you echoed when he would try to take a picture. You used to cover your mouth or shy away from the camera as if you were too embarrassed to be caught. But the way you’re smiling to his colleagues and how animated your conversations are seem to make his heart swell to see how far you’ve come. 

Working alongside you in the time that he has makes Jay observant. He’s been in a room with you plenty of times, whether it be for an internal meeting or sessions where each attorney looks through files of documents. You’re still the diligent and hardworking person you were all those years ago. You still tap your pen quietly over the stack of papers and you still like to eat sweets when you’re in the thick of it. When he sees you like this, Jay begins to recall all of the nights spent in the library studying for an exam or rushing to finish an essay before the submit date. Seeing you harbor the same habits you did in law school makes his heart warm. 

For as awkward as it is, Jay is glad that he gets to see you as successful as you are. He always pictured the two of you as lifelong friends back when he knew you for six months. You were reliable and honest, loyal to your core, and passionate about your work and hobbies. He loved to hear you talk because it demonstrated your confidence when the two of you were together. Jay would reckong that he’d fly a great distance if you asked him to have a conversation with him. 

He loved seeing you switch on for him. One look at you and you were smiling with your eyes closed. Jay adored the way you’d laugh every time he said something mildly embarrassing or the way you would subtly blush whenever he got up early enough to buy you something from the cafe near his apartment. Jay knew he made you flustered from time to time and it brought him great joy to see you look at him like you didn’t know what to do with yourself. 

When he made the executive decision not to call you three months after graduating, Jay wondered if it was cruel of him to revel in the way you reacted to him. His heart felt lighter when you smiled at him while making eye contact. He didn't mind carrying your purse when the two of you hung out or remaining the more sober of the two whenever he drank with you. It felt so natural to look after you like that despite not having many people in his life to do that for. It gave Jay a sense of purpose to do so, going as far as to seek for you when you weren’t with him. 

He always felt selfish for teasing you with the purpose of seeing that shy smile and seeing you look away from him in an attempt to stop laughing. You looked so beautiful when you were bashful, so humble too. Jay prayed for borrowed time because seeing you between classes wasn’t enough. He always thought you were too cool to hang out with him no matter what other people said because you had a million passions and could talk his ear off about everything and nothing at the same time. 

Realistically, Jay knows he can talk to you whenever he wants to. You’ve been mad at him before and have done days without talking to him, but when he took the time to reflect and apologize to you the way you deserved, you always let him back into your hold. Jay knows he has the opportunity to strike up a conversation since you both have been working together for a couple of weeks. He knows you won’t dismiss him. 

But when he sees you laughing with Sunoo and Jungwon in the bullpen from his office, he can’t help but think about just how little he knows about you and how much you don’t know about him. Jay knows it’s his fault since he put the distance between the two of you. Yet here you are, talking to people he’s known for years like you’ve known them all your life. 

Jay can talk to you, but it won’t be today.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Luck is (or isn’t) on his side when the two of you jump into each other while trying to open the door to the cafe across the street from the law office. 

Regretfully, Jay wasn’t paying attention to where he was walking, as his nose was buried deep in an email he was reading as he motioned to pull the door open. It was then he realized he’d bumped into someone. It took him a few seconds to register he had humped into you. 

“Oh,” you say, startled. 

“Shit,” Jay curses. “I’m sorry. I, uh, wasn’t watching where I was going.”  He pockets his phone. “I should really start doing that.”

“You’re lucky I don’t have coffee in my hands,” you say with a laugh. “It’s fine, Jay.” 

You let him pull the door open for you after he corrects himself. With his head, he gestures for you to enter first and you give a polite smile as a silent thank you. Jay forces himself not to audibly sigh behind you, instead choosing to glance at the ceiling and pray he doesn’t say anything stupid. 

He meets you at the cashier line and notices what you’re wearing. Your forest green dress hugs you in a respectable way, contouring to the ridges of your body. The color looks gorgeous against your skin tone, as does the color of your jewelry. Your coat is dangling from your arms and your hair is styled in a way that makes you look almost glamorous. 

“You look stunning.”

To his horror, you look back and catch him looking at you. 

“Thank you,” he hears you say after a long pause. Jay feels his cheeks reddening. 

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “That was weird, wasn’t it?” 

He’s surprised when you shake your head.

“Not weird at all. I bought this dress and took the tag off prematurely. I wore it today so I could get use out of it since I’d spent so much money on it, so I’m glad someone likes it.” 

That same, shy smile adorns your face. But this time, you aren’t looking away from him. That makes Jay’s heart flutter and for once, he feels like he’s got a shot at making things right with you. 

“You really do look stunning,” Jay tells you as he looks you directly in the eye. He doesn’t dare let his gaze wander. 

Before either of you can say anything, the cashier is waving you towards the counter. He doesn’t think twice about pulling his wallet out and hanging it to the employee behind the counter when you finish ordering, quickly saying his own order before smiling at you. 

“You don’t have to pay for me,” you tell him. 

“I know,” he says with a meek smile. “But let me, yeah?” 

You don’t fight him on it, namely because the employee has already used his card by the time you could even think about pulling your own out. Jay ushers you to the side where the waiting area is and puts his hands deep in his pockets. 

The two of you are quiet for a while. It’s semi busy and the sound of chatter and steaming milk reverberates around the room. Jay looks at you through the corner of his eyes and sees you looking at your watch for the time. If he's to say anything, he needs to say it now. 

“It’s good to see you again,” is what Jay settles with. You turn to look at him. “I didn’t realize you were the borrowed partner. It’s good to see that you achieved your dreams.” 

You don’t know how to respond. You choose to respond honestly. 

“It makes me happy knowing that we both made it,” you tell him. “Heeseung told me he promoted you to senior partner a few months ago. That’s incredible.”

“Not as incredible as being the youngest person to be named senior partner at Tang-Young.” Jay smiles at you. “That’s incredible.” 

“It feels that way,” you tell him earnestly. “I used to think days like these were far-fetched, like I’d never be named senior partner or have my foot in the door. It feels crazy to feel put together for once.” 

“I know the feeling,” Jay agrees. “I have my own place and haven’t had any help from my parents since I graduated law school. I’ve been on my own for a while now.” 

The barista calls out your orders. Jay lets you pick up your beverage before he takes his. 

“Do you ever think about when you were a first year associate? I think about sitting in the bullpen all the time. Sometimes it feels wrong to have my own office.” Jay opens the door for you and lets you walk outside first before he follows. 

“I picture myself out there when I first joined the firm,” Jay confesses. “I was so young and naive…I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted to do with my career yet.” 

“It’s insane how much time has passed,” you comment, looking both ways before crossing the street. Jay doesn’t think you say it as you do on purpose, but emotions tug on his heart strings. “I feel like I was just a first year associate only a few days ago.”

Jay swallows harshly. “A lot has changed. Some for the better…some for the worst.” 

You finally look at him when the two of you reach the other side of the road. He doesn’t like talking in tongues or minding your language when he speaks to you because he wants to apologize. Jay has spent the last few weeks dreaming about what he’d say to you or what he’d do to make up for his shortcoming years prior but he doesn’t know how to start. He doesn’t know what he should do first or if you’d consider hearing him out. 

Today is an indication that you might be, is the conclusion Jay comes to. 

The cliches of time slowing down is what he feels when you stop to look at him. He feels like you’re staring through his soul, almost as if you’re inspecting him from head to toe. Jay doesn’t know what you’re thinking and he’s too afraid to ask. He can’t tell what’s going on in your head with your emotionless expression, rocking back and forth to keep his balance. 

Did he say the wrong thing? Jay bites his tongue and wishes he could wake up from whatever dream he’s having. This doesn’t even feel real. He can barely hear the sound of taxis and people around him through the thumping of his own heart. Jay can’t see anyone else but you, so he reckons he could open his eyes and still be in his bed. 

But he blinks and you’re still standing in front of him. 

“Things might’ve changed and so do people. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” 

He watches you walk towards the entrance of the building and forces himself to jog until he’s walking next to you. Jay catches himself and tries not to bump into the people walking in the opposite direction as him. When the two of you are back on the fiftieth floor, you bow to the secretaries and greet Heeseung and Jake, who are standing next to one another. 

“Oh good,” Heesueng says, “Y/N, you’re here. I know you have to appear in court in a few hours and I was wondering if you’d be willing to stop by Attorney Ahn’s office.”

“Ahn?” you ask him quizzically. “What for?” 

“We secured an agreement for them to hand over the Hybe’s contracts. They didn’t want to disclose and Ahn tried hard to block this from being filed, but I think Judge Han allowed it to pass. Do you think you could grab the box from his office?” 

“Sure thing,” you tell him with a nod. “I should be leaving in about an hour. No idea when I’ll be back, but I planned to put in some extra hours. Might as well get a head start by looking at those files.” 

“You’re a lifesaver,” Heeseung praises before walking back into his office. 

“I’m kind of offended neither of you invited me to get coffee,” Jake says as he hands Jay a manila folder. 

“Maybe if this file was on my desk yesterday, I would have,” Jay says with the quirk of his mouth. 

Jake shakes his head dramatically. “Do you see what I have to deal with, Y/N? It’s like he wants to punish me.” 

“Punishing you would be making you go to housing court three times a week, but I don’t,” Jay retorts. “Instead, you get to work with the big kids.”

“Atta boy,” Jake says as he elbows Jay’s side. “But seriously, I want an invite next time.”

“We ran into each other this morning but how about you and I go together tomorrow morning, say around eight?” 

“I think you’re my favorite attorney!” Jake exclaims. 

You turn to Jay. “You’re welcome to join us.” 

“Yes,” Jay accepts immediately. “Yeah, uh, I’d love to join.” 

“Great.” You look between them with a pleasant smile. “Well if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to prepare for trial. See you this afternoon?” 

“Count on it,” Jake says with a mock salute. 

You leave the two of them and Jake watches as his mentor forces himself to pry his eyes off of you. In the duration that he’s gotten to see you and Jay work alongside one another, Jake has never seen his mentor at a loss for words before you started to work in the same office. The younger boy looks between the two of you before slipping back into Jay’s, waiting for him to follow suit. 

Jake joined Lee & Associates as a first year associate. His designated spot in the bullpen felt scared to him, like it was the one place in the entire office that didn’t make him feel like a belittled mess. Law school was over and Jake couldn’t help but feel nervous about practicing law in the real world where the consequences would be more fatal than a bad test score. 

Jay was in need of an associate at the time and there didn’t seem to be anybody who could step up to the plate and deal with Jay’s on-and-off personality, along with the fast pace he kept when working. Before getting to know him, Jay was someone unreadable to Jake. He felt untouchable even though his desk was right in front of the bullpen with the glass doors separating the two of them, mimicking something as dramatic as The Great Wall. 

Yet he finds himself seeing Jay like a brother after the time spent together. Jake knows his mentor is anything but a stone cold, hardened attorney people make him out to be. Jay prefers to keep his emotions closer to himself rather than on his sleeve for people to notice at first glance. He loves loyalty and honesty, and will go to great lengths to award people who stand beside him through tough times. 

It’s why Jake can see the conflict in Jay’s eyes when he sees him looking at you. Jay’s stare is far away, almost as if he’s looking at the spot you stood in to yearn for what he once had. It takes him a moment or two to collect himself and continue with his day. 

Jay clears his throat when he realizes he’s been quiet. 

“Do you have the briefing for the damage collection case?” 

Jake stares at his friend. “I’ll give it to you if you tell me what’s going on between you and Y/N.”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Jay sputters in an attempt to seem calm. His heart is beating twice as fast. Jake merely shakes his head. 

“Nah, man. You look at Y/N like you’re seconds away from telling her you’re in love with her.”

“I am not in love with her,” Jay defends immediately. He sees Jake raise his eyebrow and disconnects eye contact. “We used to know each other in law school and now we aren’t as close anymore.”

“See, that’s the thing. I know that. Everyone else knows that too. But there’s something neither you nor Y/N are acknowledging and there’s tension in the air whenever you two are in the same room.”

“There’s no tension.” 

Jake deadpans. “There’s so much tension. Even Riki can sense it.” 

“Don’t bring interns into this.” 

“I’m not bringing anyone into anything,” Jake replies. “It’s you and your weird mojo that needs to be fixed.”

“My mojo?”

“You’ve been off kilter for the past month,” says Jake. “I’m your right hand, you know? I’m with you for ninety percent of the week. I can tell when something’s bothering you.” 

Jay sighs. “It’s complicated, Jake. I…did some things in the past that I wasn’t proud of and I can’t bring myself to talk to Y/N, especially knowing how it all went down.”

“You don’t have to be so cryptic about it,” Jake says sarcastically. 

Take a seat,” Jay instructs. “You’ll want to sit down.” 

Recounting the story to Jake makes Jay feel like he’s telling a juvenile story about two lovestruck teenagers who were too immature to know any better. He feels the guilt rising to the surface all over again, as if he were shaming his younger self for acting so selfishly. 

Truthfully, Jay knew you didn’t deserve to be treated the way he treated you. He viewed you as the epitome of sunshine even if you didn’t believe him on most days. Your quiet demeanor hid a blooming flower. You deserved more than a coward who couldn’t own up to his feelings. 

They stay in Jay’s office, foregoing the workday to discuss what happened the night he left you and what transpired in the summer that followed. Jay tells Jake that he and his parents hopped on a flight abroad a few days after graduation. He tells him how you were always at the forefront of his mind and how that sad look in your eye imprinted in his mind every time he closed his eyes. 

“Shit,” Jake says, leaning back to clutch against Jay’s chair. 

“Indeed.” Jay averts his attention to the city below his office from his window. “I don’t know how to act around her. She walks around like nothing happened between us but when I look at her, all I can picture is that look on her face when I walked away.”

“Have you ever considered that Y/N has moved on?”

Jay shakes his head. “Heeseung said the same thing but this isn’t something you get over, Jake.”

“You said it yourself, though. Y/N is a resilient person. You just told me what you admired about her most was that she could see the bigger picture and react accordingly.”

“I used to think she never had the guts to stand up for herself when people were meant to her,” Jay confesses. “I’d get so frustrated and we’d get into arguments because I’d tell her she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. But Y/N would always tell me that some battles aren’t worth fighting. I never understood it then.” 

“And now?” 

Jay sighs. “Seeing her here, making friends with all of the associates and walking into Heeseung’s office like she owns the place, makes me realize she always knew what she was talking about. I mentioned she didn't have a great relationship with her parents, right? Well, I think part of me always forgot that since I had a great relationship with mine. I was more vocal than she was. I didn’t have a problem telling people off if they deserved it. 

“But she was quieter. Maybe it was by nature or maybe it was because she didn’t like talking unless she had a reason to. I don’t know. But when I look at her now, I don’t see that angry, frustrated person anymore. I can’t begin to describe it. It’s like she broke out of her shell and became a completely different person. More confident, I’d say.”

Jake nods. “You know, she told me and Sunoo that she has a tattoo of a butterfly on her hip.” 

“A butterfly?” 

“A butterfly. A monarch, I think. Anyway, the type doesn’t matter. It’s just funny that you think she’s come out of her shell when butterflies start out as caterpillars and have to go through their metamorphosis period before becoming a butterfly.” 

Jay bites his lip in contemplation. Jake continues. 

“Monarch butterflies migrate to warm weather once a year because they can’t survive the cold. They fly in groups, hundreds of thousands at a time and build communities. Y/N did the same thing, if you think about it. She left Korea to find herself in New York and returned when she was ready.” 

“I never thought about it like that,” Jay says. “I knew she was working from New York but I always thought it was to get away from me.” 

“Maybe in the beginning,” Jake adds. “Maybe Y/N needed to get away from you, her parents, and her life as she knew it to find the person she was always supposed to be.”

“I will never forgive myself for not calling her after we graduated.” 

“You don’t have to, but I think Y/N has.” Jake leans his elbows on Jay’s desk and looks the man in the eye. “Look, I know I haven’t known her for as long as you have, but in the month we’ve worked together, I’ve learned a lot from her. I’ve seen her talk to the opposing counsel in depositions and learned that she can get to the point without saying much. She’s really confident in herself and is almost always willing to help associates when they approach her.

“What I’m trying to say is, you need to let go of the person you once knew and the person you were back then. You and I both know how far you’ve come in your career and I’m sure Heeseung knows how much you’ve changed as a person since you graduated. But you can’t keep living in the past if you want to move forward.”

Jake’s right and Jay knows it. Every day, he wakes up and his first thought is the memory of you averting your eyes from him at the graduation ceremony. He thinks about his wrongdoings more often than he’d like to admit and can’t seem to move past this feeling of inadequacy when it comes to you. Jay contemplates on whether or not he deserves your respect or forgiveness, the unknown being the obstacle that prevented him from apologizing to you in the first place. 

But he needs to let that go. He’s not the person who decides whether or not he deserves forgiveness. You are. 

You are the person who dictates how you feel. Not Jay, not anyone else. For the past month, Jay has been overthinking about how to talk to you if it’s not related to the litigation. He can talk to you when it’s in conjunction about the Hyb case, but he can’t talk to you about anything else.

Jay needs to start trusting you and your judgment in a way he couldn’t before. But unlike now, Jay wasn’t in your crossfires all those years ago. The version of him during law school never gave you a reason to overcome the loss of a friendship. In order to understand you better, he needs to stop thinking about you the way you were back then. For right now, you’re a stranger he knows everything about. 

“You’re right,” Jay nods. “I’ve been so caught up in dealing with this shock that I forgot Y/N’s had to deal with it longer. It makes sense that she isn’t as shaken up as I am.”

“She’s smart and way more perceptive than you give her credit for. I think Riki’s about to ask Y/N to adopt him because she keeps talking to him in Japanese.” Jake smiles. “Speaking of which.” 

Jay quirks his eyebrow. “Speaking of what?” 

“You so clearly still have feelings for Y/N.” Jay opens his mouth and immediately closes it. 

“Lying to you would be useless, wouldn’t it?” 

“I’m also more perceptive than you think. That, and you talk about her like she saved your cat from a tree, or something.”

“I can’t help it,” Jay sighs as he rubs his face. “Being around Y/N makes me feel the way I did all those years ago. I don’t think I ever got over her. She had this ability to keep people in her grasp, you know? Once you peeled back her layers and looked past her shy personality, there she was. Now, it’s like watching everyone else meet the Y/N i knew she always was, just more openly. It’s weird to see her talking to everyone but in a good way, you know? She’s not apologizing for who she is anymore.”

“Like I said,” Jake says, “Y/N’s a butterfly.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Later in the afternoon, Jay stops responding to emails when he feels his eyes getting tired from looking at his laptop. The conversation he had with Jake weighs on his mind with every passing hour and his leg bounces with anticipation for your arrival back to the office. 

Throughout the entire day, he’s been reminding himself that he has also grown and matured since the last time you saw him. He’s no longer somebody who hates conflict and speaking his mind. His job has taught him the value of saying what you mean and sticking to an argument until the very end. Jay’s tendency to falter in himself has diminished over the years, especially since working at a legacy company such as Lee & Associates. 

His success as an attorney plays a factor in his confidence, too. Seeing his father in the courtroom inspired him as a child to pursue a career in law so that he may one day fight on behalf of people who don’t have a voice themselves. Never in his wildest dreams did Jay ever think he alone could make a big difference in the lives of others but he sits behind his desk with a promotion just shy of having his own surname on the door in the main office. 

Jay’s job means everything to him. It means working hard after spending countless days and nights stressing over cases and essays in law school. It means working with his colleagues to bring out the best in people and take down companies who value profit over people. It means making a difference in the lives of those who aren’t as fortunate as him. If Lee & Associates wasn’t as philanthropic and as morally-good as Jay would’ve hoped, he doesn’t know if he would’ve said yes to their offer when it was offered to him. 

He decides to take a break and head over to the break room when he bumps into Sunghoon, who has a scowl  etched on his face. 

“Hoon,” Jay says, tugging on Sunghoon’s arm to force him to stop walking. “Are you alright?” 

“No,” he mumbles. 

Jay’s eyebrows contort in confusion. “What’s happening? Is there anything I can do? Talk to me.” 

Sunghoon sighs. “It’s nothing you can fix, unfortunately. Remember when Heeseung asked Y/N to get the Hybe contract files from Ahn?”

“What about it?” 

“Y/N met with him in his office and he sent her home with one box.” 

“I don’t understand why that’s a bad thing.” 

Sunghoon points behind Jay, who sees a room filled to the brim with boxes. 

“He sent the rest here.” 

The two men walk over to the office and see you standing next to Heeseung with both hands on your hips. You look just short of enraged. Jay swears he can see steam coming out of your ears. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jay says as his eyes scan the boxes piled on top of one another. “How could we possibly get through all of this?” 

“Hybe’s burying us in paperwork so we look unprepared in our next meeting,” you say in disbelief. “I wish I could’ve slapped that smug look off of his face when he gave me only one of the damn boxes.” 

“We might have to fight about who gets to do that.” Heeseung curses under his breath. “We’ve got two weeks before our next hearing to determine the next step in the settlement.” 

“It looks like they’re gonna win,” Sunghoon grains from beside Jay. “They’re not giving up the recoupment clause.” 

“The answer is in here somewhere,” Jay adds. “We just have to find it.” 

“We’ll be up all night.” You look somewhere between defeated and determined, although Jay isn’t sure which is which. 

“Not if we work together,” says Jungwon, who has Sunoo and Riki standing behind him. The five of you look behind you to see them standing in the doorway. “We want to help.” 

“We can’t possibly ask you to do that,” Heeseung says. “I know the expectation is that you stay later than six in the evening, but this is too much to ask of you guys.”

“You aren’t asking,” Sunoo insists as he sits down in front of Heeseung. “Jay and Jake already have me working on a few of the case files. It makes sense to have another set of eyes that knows this case well.” 

“I want the practice as well,” Riki agrees, taking a seat next to Sunoo. “Jungwon and Sunoo have been teaching me how to read these types of documents and pull relevant information out of them. I’d really appreciate the experience.” 

“You’re sure about this?” Jay asks. 

“We’re positive,” Sunoo confirms. 

“Well, you guys can go home at any point,” Heeseung says. “This goes for everyone in the room. God only knows how much bullshit we’ll have to dig through.”

The sun starts to wane over the blue sky when Jay decides he needs a change of scenery. He’s been sitting in the same chair for a few hours at this point and desperately craves the sweet melodies of soft jazz from his vinyl collection. He excuses himself and lets everyone know he’ll be in his office if anybody needs anything. 

You watch him stand up from where you’re seated and as he walks out of the room. You must admit, Jay still looks criminally handsome. That tendency to cower into yourself whenever he looks at you is still present today, especially when he makes room for you to speak during depositions and internal meetings. 

For a while, you were hellbent on making an enemy out of Jay for what he did to you. The person you were before leaving Seoul was somebody who would likely paint Jay as a target and a villain for life. The friends you made in New York would entertain you in conversations about boys who have a tendency to break hearts and you always had a story to share. 

Even so, time has been kind to you. The years spent focusing on your career and your loved ones has molded you into the kind of person who can see people for who they are, not what they’ve done and have atoned for. Jay has worked all his life to prove himself worthy of being somebody who can take care of himself and stand on his own two feet. In a way, you’ve done the same thing. 

Half an hour goes by before you decide you need to stretch your legs. You make the bold decision to take your work with you and pay no mind to Heeseung, who winks at you on the way out. 

Approaching Jay feels like a mix between normal and anxiety inducing. Seeing him hunched over his desk with a scowl on his face as he concentrates is nostalgic to you, and it makes you remember all the times you’d search for him after your classes ended just to find him in the library with a gargantuan book beneath his focus. His hair still falls as perfectly as you remember it and he still twirls his pen in his fingers like he used to. 

It brings a set of uneasiness to your stomach. You’ve spent years trying to forget Jay before coming to the conclusion that you could never forget someone who once meant so much to you. All of the hatred you harbored for the man you held deep feelings for dissipated when you remembered that he too was growing and trying to find out who he was aside from all he once knew. 

Gathering the courage to knock on his door, you force yourself to do it before you convince yourself to back out. 

Jay looks up at you like you’re the last person he expected to see. It makes your stomach drop. 

“Sorry,” you mutter when he doesn’t motion for you to enter. “I’ll go.” 

“No!” Jay says immediately. He clears his throat and puts his pen down, waving you into his office. “Come in, please.” You walk inside and close the door behind you, the sound of soft jazz is reminiscent of the times you used to study with him in his apartment. 

“I needed a break from sitting in the same spot,” you tell him, standing before his desk and looking at the decor around the room. “I see you still love collecting vinyls.”

“My collection has definitely grown,” he laughs. You feel his eyes watching you explore his office before you find your way to sit in the chair in front of him. 

When the air settles around you, a sense of nervousness washes over your body. Suddenly, you can feel your entire weight on the chair you’re on top of. You can hear the clock that resides from just outside of his office and your mouth becomes too dry to handle. 

You’re not sure why you’ve come to see Jay. You don’t know what you’d say to him. All of those nights you imagined a great big showdown where Jay would fall to his knees and apologize to you, just for you to refute his attempts, don’t matter anymore. You look back at yourself and think of it as silly even though that’s what you needed at a time. But part of growing up and learning about who you are is realizing your capabilities and strengths. Being able to reconcile with the past that hurt you without feeling pure anger towards the cause was arguably the hardest thing you’ve done. 

You two are grown versions of your unsure, unconfident selves. The wall you spent your teenage years building has fallen down with time, knowledge, and grace. Two beings achieving a high clarity of peace is what’s left in this room. 

It isn’t that you forgive and forget. Rather, taking the time to heal and forgive Jay for embarrassing you has made you realize there are worse things than a memory filled with people you aren’t in contact with anymore. Nobody in your life knew about what had happened because you hadn’t bothered to keep in touch with anyone, and no one did the same with you. The shame and burden you carried and blamed on everyone else was misdirected. It was your own insecure nature and unconfident persona that prevented you from healing. 

Separating oneself from the pair of people who stripped away your confidence was the lowest you ever felt. The violent words echoing through your ears after a particularly bad test in high school broke your heart for the last time. You would no longer hold any room in your heart for another chance. The pieces of you that shattered onto the floor were swept away, never to be seen again. 

You kept your head down for the years of the time you lived with them. There was no use to talk back and fight to be seen by them, even if it was to glare at you for misbehaving. It came to a point where even unloving attention from your parents was enough, settling with the notion that you wouldn’t get what you asked for as you wanted it. 

But having realized sweet ignorance was bliss made you sick to your stomach. It made you ashamed to know you had spent so long wishing the people who brought you unto this Earth would look at you. The realization that changing everything about yourself would do nothing but damage in the end, taught you more than you could ever sum into words. It didn't matter if you were loud or quiet. They would never look at you the way they looked at your older brother. 

It was hard to come to terms with it. Everyday was a battle against immense frustration and turmoil as you tried to navigate your way as a young adult without the opinions of your parents shoved down your throat. They’d already expected the best out of you, so perhaps being interested in law was the only thing you’ve ever done that made your parents feel as though you were worth celebrating. 

Separating yourself post-high school and college was easier than ever before, especially when they hadn’t shown up to your law school graduation. 

That final nail in the coffin is what solidifies what remained of the relationship. You wouldn’t see them save for holiday parties to save face, especially when your colleagues and mentors were good friends of theirs. The posed smiles and awkward conversations were part of your way to make connections and play the game before you ended up crying on your bathroom floor. Playing the part of an obedient daughter only to turn into a stranger to your parents was a role you were likely born to play.

“I was wondering if I could look through the paperwork with you.” 

Jay’s eyes widen. “With me?” 

“Only if you want to! I mean, it was always nice to work with you in the library all those years ago. I thought it might be a nice change of pace.” 

Jay looks at you through his lashes and can’t believe the grace he’s been given to have you approach him before he got the chance to. The unexpected load of files put a dent in his plans. It seems, however, that somebody is looking out for him, 

“I…I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Jay says. It’s as if the filter on his mouth has disappeared because he can’t stop talking about what he’s thinking about. “I didn’t know you were the person who was going to help us out on this case and seeing you for the first time in years made me think about when we were kids. I probably don’t have the right to say this, so forgive me, but I really missed you.” 

That shy smile he always knew you to have adorned your lips. 

“I missed you too,” you tell him. “There are a lot of things I’ve done that I wish I could have shared with you. Although I admit I had a few weeks to prepare seeing you before I officially said yes to helping with this case.” 

“I used to think about what would happen if I ever saw you in court,” Jay confesses. “I’d like to believe I’d say hi, or something.” 

“I probably would’ve done the same thing. Do you still play guitar?” 

“Every chance I get,” Jay smiles. “I’ve added a few electric and acoustics editions to my collection. I have an entire music room back at home.” 

“I always remembered you being so musically gifted. If you didn’t become a lawyer, you probably would’ve been a successful musician.” 

“You always flattered me too much.” 

“Why stop now?

Jay smiles at you. “Do you still want cats?” 

“I have a cat called Miso. I’ve had her for a few months. She’s still such a small baby. Is it bad that I’m considering getting another one?” 

“Not at all,” Jay agrees. “But three might make you a cat lady.” 

You pretend to weigh your options. “I’ll think about it.” 

“I can’t believe you lived in New York for a few years. I remember you loving the big city.” 

“I think I’ve changed a bit,” you tell him. “I love the hustle and bustle, but living in Manhattan made me realize I miss living away from the noise. I like traveling into town and having the option to leave it, you know?”

“Definitely,” Jay nods. “My place is in a high rise so I don’t hear construction noises or birds chirping when I want it to be quiet. I got the chance to move in a few years after I started my job here.” 

“I live just on the outskirts of Seoul. It’s a good sized neighborhood in a family town. I like that it’s so quiet. I usually hear children who live in the houses play on the streets on weekend mornings.” 

“That sounds like quite a peaceful life.” 

You smile at him like you know something he doesn’t.

“Yeah, it really is.” 

“Do you ever think about how long ago law school was?” you ask. “Sometimes I pinch myself when I’m given big responsibilities. I pinched myself over and over again when I was named senior partner and nearly gave myself a bruise.” 

“I see the associates in the bullpen everyday and think about how that was me ages ago,” Jay responds. By now, he’s turned his attention from the document to you. “I used to be an insecure prick who pretended to have everything under control. I was so desperate to prove myself. I’m sure you know how that feels. I don’t think I got a wink of sleep in the first four years of my career.” 

“You and I both. I think my life got more stressful when I started my career. Law school did not prepare me mentally for what it was gonna be like. 

“But it’s rewarding, right? I feel like I’m doing something good with my life. And you know Heeseung, you know he wouldn't sign off on clients who are morally corrupt.” 

“It feels incredible, honestly. Being able to help people makes me feel like I’ve served a good purpose. I used to think about texting you all the dumb mistakes people made when I was a first year. It’s hilarious to know how many professionals can’t remain professional.” 

Jay’s smile weakens as his guilt creeps back into his mind. 

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly yet firmly.

You look at him. “I know. Let’s focus on the case, yeah?”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Arriving at the office as the sun is peeking from the horizon is not a new phenomenon for you. Despite the crust that formed around your eye last night, indicating a good rest, you feel somewhat sluggish as you wait for Jake to finish ordering his coffee. 

“Jay woke up late again,” he snickers as he pockets his phone. “He probably won’t be at the office until eight.” 

“It’s fine,” you tell him. “We all need beauty sleep after yesterday.” 

“Ahn can kiss my ass. I felt like I was knee deep in paperwork. My eyes were gonna fall out of their sockets.” 

“You and me both,” you sigh, retrieving your beverage and pastry. The warmth lifts your mood. “I’ve seen my fair share of paperwork and dirty moves, but they never cease to surprise me.” 

“The audacity of him to give you one box to leave with, too,” Jake says with venom in his tone. “I’ll punch him for you.”

“How about you hold him down while I do the punching?”

“I like your style.” 

The office itself is still relatively quiet, save for the few first year associates milling around the bullpen and the break room. The coffee and espresso machine have seen better days, and you make a mental note to tell Heeseung to invest in new ones. 

Jake raises his hand in a mock salute as you walk towards your office. The pretty skyline will always remain a marvel to you. To live a life of privilege and to neglect the beauty around you would be a disservice to all that has raised you and all what will be awarded to you. The streets below you begin to fill with people commuting to work. It feels much like New York, where the city never sleeps and the people never lose their dreams. 

Working with Jay in his office felt normal. Sitting in front of him and getting to know his life as he built it wasn’t as hurtful as you once thought it would be. With each quip, it felt as if the two of you fell into old habits like there was never a time where the two of you spent any time apart. 

You could tell Jay had more to say than he led on. But hearing a full confession or an apology in the office didn’t feel right. It’s why you shut him down. Hearing the sincerity in his voice when he came to apologize, but having a short conversation between looking through piles upon piles of documents, felt too colloquial. You’re owed the decency of no distractions, at least, even if you’ve done the work to grow and heal. 

There was once a time you swore you’d never give Jay a second chance and that actions, at face value, mean more than any rectification. Back when you were blindsided by hurt and emotion, the realization that the person you cared about the most leaving you felt like a punch to the gut. If Jay had the audacity to leave you as you were, what good were you to anyone else? 

The answer isn’t simple. It wasn’t until you realized running away from Korea and relocation to New York didn’t make you as happy as you thought it did. 

You were lying to yourself when you’d smile and tell your friends that it was the best decision you ever made. You had fooled yourself into believing it as you said it, sipping on whatever alcoholic beverage was at hand at the time. But coming home to an empty loft made those unsavory thoughts ruminate in your mind until you fell asleep. Even so, you dreamt about what your life would be like if Jay had chosen to stay. 

Years of running resulted in a sudden crash. It was like your life wasn’t as perfect as you made it out to be. You loved the part of you that made a life in New York and you loved the people and the work that was established, but a larger part of you missed your life in Seoul. You missed your friends, your old haunts, and the places you swore you’d never go but found yourself visiting when you came back home. You missed your family too, or whatever was left of it. In the years you spent overseas, you learned to come to terms with the notion that who you are is not a product of people who do not know you. Rather, who you are is an accumulation of your experiences and passions, and nothing else. 

That realization made it easier to forgive Jay. Truthfully, you didn’t know if you’d ever see him again and the thought of what you would say if you came face-to-face with him, or what apologies you would’ve wanted to hear from him, didn’t matter. It became something you tossed at the bottom of your priority list because relying on the actions of other people became a dangerous habit of yours. You’d look at yourself in the mirror and slowly begin to like what you saw looking back at you.  

To let go of the past feels like freedom. You could dwell on everyone who wronged you and remain spiteful at all of the times you were left to feel like an embarrassment and a burden, but none of that could have ever helped you arrive in the present day as tranquil as you are. Every happenstance, good and bad, happened for a reason, and it isn’t up to you to figure out why. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts when Jungwon knocks on your door. 

“Y/N?” he asks timidly. 

“What’s up?” 

“Do you have the time to go over these case files with me?” Jungwon asks. “I know you have a lunch meeting you need to prepare for, but none of the other attorneys are in the office right now and Heeseung needs these as soon as possible.” 

You smile at him. “I’ll make time.” 

The two of you sit in relative silence for the next twenty minutes, hearing the sounds of paper turning and pens scribbling in the margins. The city’s waking up and people are filing into the office one by one as the two of you remain in the vacated copy room just around the main office. Jungwon suggested relocating to the small corner for concentration purposes and you start to understand why he’s everybody’s favorite paralegal. 

“This stuff is insane,” Jungwon comments. You look up at him to see a scowl etched on his face. “How can people willingly take advantage of people trying to pursue their dreams?” 

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. “It kills me to see greedy corporations treat people like they don’t matter.” 

“It’s unfair,” Jungwon says. “If I had my way, I’d stick it to these music executives. Screw Ahn for burying us in paperwork.”

“Making the musician pay back a certain fee feels almost impossible, doesn’t it?” you ask Jungwon rhetorically. “It almost feels like the label is stealing talent and profiting off of it wherever and whenever they can.” 

“These poor people are trying to make a living doing what they love. None of this is fair. It’s stupid for labels to require a certain number of albums to be made under contract.” 

“Even more stupid when labels cut them loose because they can’t pay back the recoupment quickly.” 

“If I had time in the courtroom with Attorney Ahn, I think I’d rip him a new one.” 

You laugh. “How long have you been a paralegal, Jungwon?”

“A couple of years,” he tells you. “I’m thinking about other career options in the meantime, but I love my job and I love helping the associates when they ask me.”

“Why would you think of different career paths if this is what you love to do?”

He sighs. “I’m not good at testing. I mean, I took the bar and failed. It feels like it’s too late for me, you know?”

“Well, you could always take it again.”

He shakes his head. “It’s no use. I’m not good at practice tests but I could tell you about any case. I’ve been at this job long enough to discuss concepts and have them make sense, but it’s testing that gets me. I just get so anxious, you know? I second guess myself all the time and I hate that I do that.” 

“Testing used to be my greatest enemy.”

“What changed?” 

“Jay, honestly. He was always the better student when it came to that kind of stuff. I had really bad testing anxiety but he managed to help me study enough to the point where I knew I would ace them.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize you guys used to be so close.” 

“I’d say he was my closest friend in law school. It’s nice to see him again after all these years.” 

Jungwon doesn’t press further, instead returning his attention to the documents below him.

“Ending the recoupment expectation means the artist can keep the profit from the moment it’s been released, right?” 

“They’ll have to split their earnings with people who worked on the project based on copyright laws, but yes, essentially.” 

Jungwon sits with his thoughts and stares at the documents before him. His hands sift through the folders as his eyes dart from page to page. 

“This is what I love about my job,” he begins. “I love helping people because it’s what I feel like I was meant to do. I love solving problems and I love fixing them.” 

“You owe it to yourself to try, you know,” you encourage. “Going to law school isn’t easy, but not many people can say they have your experience. You’ve got a few years of working with associates and partners under your belt. There’s no reason to be afraid of taking the LSAT.”

“I guess I’m just nervous that I won’t be good enough,” Jungwon confesses. “Every day, I’m surrounded by the smartest people I know who all graduated from the best law school in Korea. How could I ever compete with that?”

His doubt speaks to your younger self, the one who cowered in fear when your parents neglected to praise you for a job well done or turned a blind eye when you asked for advice. Jungwon’s worries speak to the part of you that wished for external validation when it came to your capabilities and strengths, because doing it yourself could only go so far. 

His words remind you of moments when you felt small, like the world was too big and you’d never have enough time to discover all the wonders it could bring. You were meek back then, thriving off of whatever little validation they gave you just to have them knock it down. You don’t know why you spent so many years yearning for their approval, but never getting it felt too familiar. 

Your acceptance at the most prestigious law school in Korea was met with apprehension. You recall the sinking feeling in your stomach the moment the idea about your worth was proposed; having your parents question your capabilities or how you’d fit in with your peers had you second guessing your career path, leaving you wondering if following your passion was worth the struggle and pain of convincing them to let you pursue it. 

They agreed to let you go under the condition that they pay for the first year before you’d need to pay for the remaining two. It felt unfair and it still feels unfair. But what’s done is done and you managed to gain the courage to chase after that dream of yours that always seemed just too far out of reach, and it has paid off.

Now, you look at Jungwon as if he were a ghost of your former self. 

“You say you’re worried about committing to a career path, but it seems like you’ve got your heart set on becoming a lawyer,” you tell him. “Don’t you think you should explore that?” 

Jungwon smiles at you.

“I think I will.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Jay finds you in the break room laughing with Jungwon when he’s able to pull himself away from meetings. You look gorgeous when you laugh as freely as you are, like you aren’t shy about showing people what you look like when you smile. It warms his heart to hear that fluttering laugh of yours. 

“You’re serious about helping me study for the LSAT?” he hears Jungwon ask you. 

“Dead serious. It’ll take some time but the test comes around a few times a year. Take it easy, okay? There’s no need to rush.” 

The younger boy sees Jay approach and nods his head. “I should get going. See you later, Y/N!” 

“Jungwon’s taking the LSAT?” Jay asks when the former disappears. 

“I’m trying to convince him. He told me earlier about why he’s hesitant to go to law school but I think Jungwon can do it if he really tries.” 

“I think so too,” Jay agrees. “He’s the only person in this office who knows what’s going on. Might as well promote him to first year associate. We’ll definitely miss him around the office, though.” 

“All the more reason to hire him when he graduates.” 

Jay smiles. This kind of generosity is something he always thought of you. 

“Anyway, I have a meeting in thirty minutes and I’m considering canceling if not for the free lunch.”

“Hot young finance wannabe taking you out to an expensive steakhouse?” he jokes. 

“Try a sixty-year old former housewife afraid that her assets are in shambles when they haven’t been touched in years,” you laugh. “The restaurant is a dim sum place by my apartment and I will never say no to dim sum.” 

“Bummer,” Jay says, biting back a smile. “I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee before the afternoon rush.” 

“Can we rain check?” you ask eagerly. “I’d love to get coffee with you again.” 

“I would love that. Are you going to be back in the office this afternoon, though? I’ll keep my door open for you.” 

“I’ll be back around three,” you tell him with a shy smile. “I’ll be sure to knock.” 

Jay shakes his head. “You can walk in. I’ll make an exception for you.” 

The atmosphere around the office has changed when you come back and sit with him to work. It’s like the distance and wrongdoings have been erased when it’s just the two of you sitting in front of one another, almost as if time has transported the both of you back to law school. 

You find that you’re able to get work done much faster without the impending doom of awkwardness lingering around the two of you. Jay’s tendency to skirt around you created a strange atmosphere during the first few weeks of you working in his domain, but sitting with him now makes you feel like things are going to be okay. 

For Jay, it feels the same. His guilt has subsided, not because he feels absolved, but because he feels like he’s working towards a better version of himself with you back in his life. Jay has always sworn to rectify his mistakes if he was given the chance to and the universe granting him one last chance by allowing you back in his life feels like a second chance. He doesn't want to mess it up and make you feel the way you did once upon a time. 

It isn’t until the sun goes down and you yawn that he registers just how late the two of you have been working. Conversations flow easily and it feels like time has moved too fast. 

“Let’s get noodles before going home? For old time’s sake,” Jay asks you. 

“It’s like you read my mind.” 

He knows of a place not too far from away, a small hole-in-the-wall joint that boasts an array of soups that immediately smell like comfort in a bowl. The waitress leaves the two of you alone after putting your meal in front of you, and you waste no time before digging in.

“Woah, slow down before you choke on the soup,” Jay teases. 

“Cut me some slack,” you whine. “This is definitely not the first time you’ve watched me inhale my food.”

Jay laughs. “I remember when you couldn’t stop eating the shumai from across my apartment. You must’ve thrown up twice? I think?” 

“That night single handedly made me watch how much I ate in one sitting.” You recoil at the memory. “But I still love shumai. Just not as much.” 

“Or that time you went through a phase where you couldn’t stop drinking fruit-flavored punch and got so nauseous that you almost skipped the last exam before winter break.”

“I made it, though! I think I got a ninety-one on that test? But who cares. Law school was forever ago.” 

Jay’s eyes soften. 

“I really am sorry,” he begins. “I’ve been thinking about when the best time to talk to you is, but everyday there’s something new between the Hybe case and other things that need our attention. So, I’m sorry if right now it seems like it’s coming out of the blue.

“It’s selfish of me to say it when you’re eating, I know. I just want you to know how sorry I am for being a coward and for leaving you standing.” Jay’s eyes falter and he looks back at his bowl of soup before forcing himself to look you in the eye. “I couldn’t tell you what my younger self was thinking back then. Every single day I think about how awful and selfish I was to put my emotions above yours.” 

“Jay–”

“I don’t know if this counts for much, I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. I’ve learned to be empathetic and that I can’t run away from things just because it was too much or because I was scared about how I felt about you.” He swallows harshly. “I really, really liked you back then.” 

You bite your lip. “I really liked you too.” 

“Working with you for the past few months has made me realize how much of a fucking idiot I was to walk away like that. I should’ve told Iseul to shove it down her throat and walk out with you instead of leaving you alone. I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”

In your years imagining what this moment would look like, it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t in a small noodle stop sitting in an expensive dress. It wasn’t at the end of a long workday where your thoughts are all over the place. It certainly wasn’t with Jay sounding as honest and as sincere as he is now. 

You prepared to leave in astonishment or throw a drink at him for his audacity. You envisioned yourself laughing in his face and walking away with your hair brushed behind your shoulders, only to peek over and see him fall to his knees in despair. You imagined Jay looking disheveled and helpless, catching his insincerity with a smug grin before telling him to leave you alone forever. 

But the man in front of you looks like he’s waited a long time to apologize. He drops his eye contact with you in favor of moving his chopsticks around the bowl, moving the noodles as a way to fill the awkward silence from your lack of response. In truth, your heart is beating three times as fast as it normally does. It doesn’t help that your feelings for Jay never went away. It certainly doesn’t help that his apology feels like one crafted by a mature adult as opposed to throwaway words someone strings together to absolve themselves of guilt. 

Jay’s guilty and he knows it. He’s willing to live with the consequences, but your silence is killing him. 

Instead of speaking, you push your hand to reach for his and pry his fingers off of his chopsticks. Jay’s eyes snap to your hands touching his, afraid that if he moves, you’ll be gone quicker than he can register. 

“You were never one for words,” you begin to say. Jay’s heart sinks to the bottom of his chest. “I remember you having the hardest time carrying a conversation because you were thinking too hard about what to say. I always thought I was the shy one, but getting to know you was a little hard when you said so little. 

“I don’t know what changed, honestly. It was like you had a million and one different things you wanted to talk about. I learned that you trusted few people and I knew I was one of them the second you talked my ear off about how you probably would have pursued a career in music instead of law.” 

Jay’s mouth quirks. “I remember that.” 

“What I’m trying to say is, I know you’re being honest with me now. The fact that you said all of that in a noodle shop tells me more than you know.” 

He chuckles. “It’s a little poetic, isn’t it?” 

“Considering we spent maybe half of our time together eating ramen, I’d say so.” 

He squeezes your hand. “The last thing I want you is for you to feel like I’m forcing you to say something you don’t want to, or even forgive me. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do something you aren’t ready to do.”

“One thing you should know about me is that I always do as I please.” You squeeze his hand back. “You’ll know how I feel, Jay. Right now, I feel very strongly about you.” 

The two of you look at each other before the doorbell chimes. You two pull your hands apart as if you’re two teenagers caught holding hands. Jay laughs once he sees your mouth forming that same bashful smile he fell for all those years ago before clearing his throat and enjoying the rest of his dinner. 

As for you, the warmth of the broth is almost as warm as your cheeks.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Nothing is going according to plan. 

The Hybe case has taken all of your effort and resources, as well as your mental sanity. As the date for the next settlement hearing, and likely the final one, draws nearer, you feel the walls closing within you with no way to stop it. 

It’s taken a toll on you. You’re sure everyone in the office can see it. Sunoo creeps quietly into your office with a polite bow every time he delivers what you ask for, ceasing to make small conversation when he can see how little sleep you’ve gotten. Riki and Jungwon are the same, waving to you from outside of your office because you’ve spent a majority of your time there. 

Jay’s noticed it as well. He remembers the moments when you’d hole yourself in your apartment due to exam stress and when things with your family affected you. Back then he would try everything in his power to get you to come out of the cave you created, whether it be staying in his car until you were ready to see him or dropping off meals for you. 

It’s not so different now, except this is occurring in the workplace. He sees the dark circles under your eyes and the way your shoulders slump when you’re working at your desk. Jay sees the way you shake your head to fight to stay awake and how unfocused you’ve become during meetings. 

Everyone in the office is losing their hope about winning this case. Hybe has drained all of the resources every attorney has put into fighting it. Heeseung feels the pressure from the clients, which in turn has everyone else worrying about if this was a case they were going to lose. The hope everybody exhibited from the beginning of the case until now has dimmed. Nobody knows what went wrong or why team morale has changed for the worse.  

It’s late on a Friday night when Jay catches you still in your office. Your coat is still hanging behind your chair and he can see the tissues around your garbage can. His heart lurches when he puts two and two together, and races all over the office until he finds you walking out of the bathroom. 

You look at him with bloodshot eyes and tears at the brim. Jay’s tie feels tight against his collar and his suit jacket suddenly feels too warm on his body. Your nimble fingers tremble beside you as you catch your breath, halfway between embarrassed for being caught crying and fighting the urge to jump into Jay’s arms. He hates seeing you cry and he hates knowing that there’s nothing he can do to make you feel better.  

Jay makes the decision for you. He wastes no time and tugs you closer to his chest.

He doesn’t pay any mind to your tears soaking his dress shirt, opting to put one hand behind your head. He strokes your hair and wraps his other arm around you to hold you securely within him, using what little momentum he has to rock your bodies from side to side. It feels right to have you in his arms like this. Jay has fantasized about the day you’d let him touch you like this, so intimately woven together as if the two of you were always meant to be together. 

Your face feels hot against his chest. Jay feels you rest your cheek on his shoulder and he fights the urge to press a kiss to your head. The office is eerily quiet, with everyone else having left hours earlier. Jay was stuck in a late night meeting before heading back to the office to pick up his belongings for the night. He’s glad he came back. 

“Sorry,” you croak, voice sore from holding your tears at bay. Jay lifts his hand to wipe the tears off of your cheek with this thumb. 

“Don’t be,” he tells you. “God knows how many times I’ve cried in this bathroom.” 

You smile. “You’ve cried in the women’s restroom?” 

Jay pinches your arm. “You know what I mean.” 

The two of you stay like that for another minute and bask in the silence. Half of the lights have turned off due to lack of movement and it feels liminal to be holding one another without the judgment or prying eyes of others. Jay coaxes you to your office and gently holds your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as he pulls you down on the couch. You don’t fight him, letting him pull your body down next to his until your feet are tucked underneath you with your head resting on his shoulder. 

Jay doesn’t want to push his luck. He’s sure you can feel his heart beating from where you sit. But your head is within reach and experimentally places his cheek on top of you. When you won’t move away, he closes his eyes for a brief moment and thanks whoever is watching him for the opportunity to be this close to you again. 

“Life is so hard,” you say, grabbing his hand and toying with the rings on his fingers. “I feel like nothing I’m doing is amounting to anything.”

“That’s not true,” Jay says to you. He fights the urge to smile when he sees you pick a ring off of his finger and place it on your own hand. “You’ve done a lot of good, you know that? You wouldn’t be here today if you didn’t.”

You return the ring back to Jay’s hand. “I know. This case is keeping me up at night. I get nightmares about Ahn’s stupid, smug grin after telling us we wasted our time trying to fight Hybe.” 

“You and I both. Sometimes, our efforts feel futile when all we do is stare at paperwork and hold empty promises to our clients.” 

You nod in agreement. “I just want to be at a place where I don’t feel like I’m fucking things up all the time. I spent so long trying to run away from everything but I got tired of doing that before I moved back to Korea. I want to rest.” 

The two of you remain silent for a few peaceful moments. It doesn’t feel awkward and neither of you feel pressed to say anything. The comfort that you feel with Jay is something he’s been praying for. He’d reckon that the person he was when you first joined the office would almost doubt the fact that you're comfortable resting in his arms. To him, this is a sign that you’re starting to trust him again.

“Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” He tries not to smile when you shake your head. 

“Can you stay here with me?” 

Eventually, he convinces you to go home after a tiring day. Jay calls a taxi for you and waits with you until it arrives. The smile you give him makes him feel like there’s nothing he can’t achieve, and it isn’t until you kiss his cheek that Jay feels as though he might melt into a puddle. 

“Get home safe, okay?” you ask of him. 

“Anything for you.” 

He closes the door behind you and watches the taxi drive away until it’s out of sight. Jay pulls his phone out and begins to hover this thumb over a certain phone number he hasn’t called in a while, arguing  back and forth with himself until he hastily presses the ‘call’ button and puts the phone to his ear. 

One, two. Click.

“Hello?” comes the voice from the other line. 

“Hey,” Jay says. He clears his throat. “I’m sorry to call you out of the blue. I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but I’m calling about Y/N.”

“Is she okay?” 

“Relatively speaking.” Jay takes a deep breath before continuing. “We’re working on this case together. I’m sure she’s told you about it and I think it’s taking a toll on her. You know how she gets. She closes herself off because she doesn't want other people to worry about her or feel like a burden.”

“Sounds like classic Y/N if you ask me.”

Jay laughs. “I found her crying in the office tonight and we talked a little. I just sent her home in a cab. I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but this is Y/N. Can you give her a call and make sure she’s alright?” 

The voice on the other end is silent for a brief moment. Jay holds his breath and he swears he can feel his lungs constrict within him. If anything, he’s prepared to have his heart broken in two and for everything he knows to fall apart around him. 

It doesn’t. 

“I’m in Seoul, actually. Don’t tell anyone, though. I’ll visit Y/N.”

“Thank you,” Jay breathes. 

“Of course. We both know she would have kept to herself until it’s too late.” 

“That we do.” Jay swallows harshly.  “I also just wanted to say…I’m sorry. For everything. I wasn’t the greatest friend, haven’t been the greatest friend, but I want to do everything I can to make things right. I’ve already apologized to Y/N but apologizing to you feels right.”

He hears a small chuckle from the other side. “You’re a good person, Jay, even if you make bad decisions every once in a while. The fact that you’re calling me after everything you’ve done tells me how much you’ve changed.” 

“I…thank you. I don’t know what I’m looking for. But apologizing feels right.” 

“It’s a good start. Thanks for calling, man.” 

“Take care.” 

The line ends and Jay walks back into the office with a happy heart.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

A knock comes at your apartment door and your heart starts to spike. It’s nine in the evening and you’re sitting on your couch in pajamas with an empty bag of chips on the coffee table. Your ears perk up at the sound and you clutch your phone in your hands until you see a notification come though. 

Dearest Brother (Korean cell): Open up!

You lift the blanket off of you with record speed with Miso tailing behind you and open the front door without a second thought. 

“Namjoon,” you breathe. 

“In the flesh,” he says with that same boyish smile he gives you when he sees you after coming home from overseas. “Are you gonna let me in or are you gonna let me freeze to death?” 

“With that attitude, you can starve too,” you say, angling your body away from the door for him to walk in. Namjoon takes his shoes off and slips his feet into the slippers you always keep for him. Miso nips at his ankles until he bends down to pick her up, cradling your beloved in his arms. “What the hell are you doing in Seoul?” 

“The boys and I got back earlier this morning,” Namjoon tells you. “Promotions are over and we get two weeks to rest before we start preparing for the next tour.” 

“God, I can’t believe you guys are going on tour again,” you say, patting the spot next to you on the couch for Namjoon to sit on. “It feels like you guys just started working on the album.” 

“Seokjin said the same thing,” says Namjoon, who puts his feet on the coffee table before you chide him with a playful slap to the bicep. “The guys and I decided we weren’t gonna see each other until tour rehearsals. God knows we’ve spent too much time together in the past few months.” 

“How are they?” you ask him. “I’ve only seen updates on those fan accounts that update your every move, which is somewhat creepy but every wholesome at the same time.” 

Namjoon laughs. “The guys are fine. Taehyung and Hobi spent most of the promotions shopping and came home with two duffel bags each. Yoongi’s probably gonna sleep for the next two weeks. Jungkook got ripped, and I mean ripped.”

“I saw that, Jesus. He sent me a progress photo and all I could think about was how small he used to be before you guys debuted.”

“Jimin’s just…Jimin. He says he misses you and that the two of you should get together before it gets busy.”

“I would love that.” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I missed you guys a lot. More than I care to admit, probably.” 

“See, I told you all our sibling rivalry would disappear when we got older.”

“Yah. Whatever you say. We’re still enemies at heart.” Miso purrs against Namjoon’s lap. “I think she likes you more than me.”

Namjoon smiles down at Miso. “Jay called me earlier tonight. He says you haven’t been feeling very well.”

“Jay is a tattletale.” 

“Did he lie?” 

You sigh. “No, he didn’t.” 

“What’s on your mind?” 

“So many things that I don’t even know where to begin. There’s the Hybe case, which has made me want to blow my brains out.” 

Namjoon nods. “Ah, the Hybe case. It’s funny what a small label could do in ten years.” 

“Seems as though your underground rapper dreams came true. Now you’re touring the world and forgetting to bring me back expensive gifts from abroad.” Namjoon chooses not to comment. “You know attorney Ahn, right? Well, he sent us dozens upon dozens of legal files for us to sort through before our next hearing. We’ve gone through eighty percent of them but it feels like we’re going nowhere. It feels useless”

“You’re doing more good than you know,” he tells you. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re giving a lot of hope to a lot of young musicians.” 

You sigh. “I hope so. And then there’s the whole thing with Jay…I can’t remember what I last told you. I know I said that my feelings towards him have changed and that I’ve forgiven him, but spending as much time as I have has made me rethink a lot of things.” 

“Like what?”

“Like whether or not it’s stupid of me to give him a second chance or if I should feel ashamed for liking him in the first place.” Namjoon watches you frown. “All those years and my feelings for him never went away.” 

“Well, we can’t control how we feel.” 

“He hurt me, Joon.” 

“I know,” says Namjoon, “but that was years ago. In the months you’ve worked with him, has Jay given you any reason to doubt his sincerity?” 

You think about it. “No, he hasn’t.” 

“Has he apologized for what he did and is he being respectful of you?”

“Yes,” you say without hesitating. 

“There’s your answer. You can’t let the past dictate people. I’m sure there are parts of you that have outgrown your younger self.” 

“You know, I can hear the voices of people I met back in New York telling me not to give Jay the time of day and that I should block his number when we finish working this case.”

“Your New York friends knew the person that was angry at him, though. You stopped talking about Jay two years before you moved.” 

“I know. I don’t know what’s stopping me from going for it.” 

“Have you ever considered that you’re afraid things will turn out the same way it did all those years ago?”

You roll your eyes. “All the time, Joon.”

“Okay, fair point. Have you considered that you’re the one in control of how you react to things?” You purse your lips and Namjoon takes it as a sign to keep talking. “You can think of a million different ways this plays out. Maybe you guys break up after a week. Maybe you get old and live together until you’re ninety. But all of those scenarios are just what-ifs. You’ll never know until you make a decision and stick with it, otherwise your fears hold you back from reaching your true potential.” 

“But what if it fails? I’m scared of becoming the person I was back then.” 

“Well I, for one, know you’re much stronger than that. Working in corporate law makes you tougher, not weaker. But to speak on your concern, you’re the only person who can control how you react to things. If the timing isn’t right and you feel it coming, then you let go.” 

His words sit with you as the soft sounds of the television plays in the back of your mind. For a few months, you’d been worried that you jumped the gun and forgiven Jay in ways the you of the past would never understand. The deep seeded fears of being rejected and left behind creep into the forefront of your mind every so often, leaving you a paralyzed mess. 

But Namjoon’s right. You can only control your reaction to what cards you’re dealt with. Any wrongdoing by the hands of others isn’t your fault nor are they your responsibilities. 

“As for the Hybe case,” Namjoon says as he brings you out of your thoughts, “I think I have a solution.”

“Oh yeah?” 

He nods once. “The guys and I have been talking about this for a while. We’ve known about other musicians suing Hybe longer than you’ve known about this case and we didn’t know how we could help. On one hand, Hybe gave us everything we have now, you know? They gave us the opportunity to become musicians. I don’t know what got lost in translation, but it seems that fewer and fewer artists are able to experience what we did.”

“Where are you going with this?”  

“We’re going to make a statement. With your approval, of course.” Namjoon tells you. “I was going to call Heeseung on Monday to set up a meeting with you and surprise you at the office, but tonight seemed like a better time to drop by.” 

“Wait.” You use the remote to pause the TV. “You guys are going to speak at the hearing?” 

“All seven of us,” he confirms. “It’s not fair that everyone else has to work twice as hard because of Hybe’s standards. We’ve been given this platform and it’s only fair that we use it to help other people.” 

“God, I could cry right now.” Namjoon chuckles at the tears that have formed at the corner of your eyes and picks up a tissue before handing it to you. “You don’t know what this means to me, Joon.” 

“I always told you I’d be here for you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I thought that meant buying me gifts paying for my takeout,” you joke, swatting his arm, “not saving the biggest case of my career.” 

“I’m really proud of you, Y/N. Not a lot of people are as resilient as you.” He smiles down at you. “Oh, and you should also know about Jay.”

“What about him?” 

“He apologized to me too,” Namjoon says. “I know what people sound like when they want something from me or say things because they know it’s what I want to hear. But Jay didn’t sound like that. He didn’t have to say anything since he was calling about you, but that in itself lets me know how sorry he is.” 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t have to know. Besides, it’s a Friday night and you have the entire weekend before you see him. Let’s watch cartoons like old times, yeah?” 

“Yeah, but you better not sleep in the middle of the second episode.” 

Namjoon laughs. “You wound me.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

For the first time in a while, you don’t feel imminent doom as Monday approaches. 

The sky is as sunny as you feel when you walk into the office. Sunoo and Jungwon seem rather pleased that you’re spending more time outside of your office and Heeseung makes several comments about how your mood has shifted from how it was last week. 

“You’re telling me Namjoon stopped by and you didn’t tell me?” Heeseung chides. “I feel like chopped liver.” 

“That’s because you are,” you tease. “The guys are resting for the next two weeks before tour preparations. Namjoon, Jimin, and I are going to get dinner one of these days if you’d like to join.”

“I’m taking you up on this invite, thank you very much. Did you know Joon was gonna be back in town?” 

“I didn’t, actually.” A knock comes from behind you and the man of the hour appears. “Jay called him.” 

“Am I in trouble?” Jay asks. You smile and shake your head. 

“Just the opposite. Thanks for calling my brother. It meant a lot to me.”

“You looked like you needed him and I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he tells you sincerely. 

“It’s great that you’re both here, actually.” You close the door behind your office. “Namjoon and I talked about a lot of things, one of them being the case. He told me how he and the guys have felt helpless in the past few months to see their labelmates suffer through corporate greed. He told me that they’re willing to testify and speak on our behalf against Hybe.” 

“What?” 

You nod. “I think they’re starting to understand how unfair the new recording contracts are and want to make a difference. I know Judge Han’s granddaughters are fans of Bangtan, so I think their presence could sway the decision.”

“You fight dirty,” Heeseung says, bumping his hip with yours. “I love it. Are they ready to go up against Ahn?” 

You shake your head. “They’re gonna schedule a meeting with us sometime in the next week to prepare. It’s going to be a tight fit with their tour preparations and our hearing, but if all goes according to plan, Ahn should be willing to move the hearing date earlier.”

“This is fucking incredible,” Jay swears. “We owe you one.” 

“You owe me nothing,” you tell him. “I love working with you two, honestly. Namjoon however…you might owe him a few.” 

“I’ll pay for dinner under the company card and say it was a client business,” Heeseung says. “It’s a done deal. I’m gonna let the others know, if that’s okay?” 

Heeseung leaves when you give in the greenlight, leaving you and Jay standing alone in your office. 

“I meant what I said earlier,” Jay says. “I owe you one.” 

“Seriously, Jay. You owe me nothing. It comes with the job.” He laughs and shakes his head. 

“I’m bad at this.” 

Jay bites his lip and reaches his hand out for yours, holding a loose grip in case you want to pull back. When you don’t, he takes the opportunity to push his fingers through yours. 

“I’d love to take you out on a date,” he says. “As a thank you. But more so because I really like you and want to take you out like you deserve.” 

You squeeze his hand. “If I said I wanted to stay indoors because this week will likely kick my ass, what would you do?”

Jay pretends to think. “In that case, I think I’ll cook us dinner while you watch with a glass of wine. If I recall correctly, that’s how most of our Friday nights looked like.” 

You bite your lip. “You make a mean steak.” 

“Whatever you want is what you'll get. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion that this was your way of asking me to cook for you.” 

You look at him in faux surprise. “Whatever do you mean, Park Jongseong?” Jay chuckles and takes a step closer towards you.

“Silly girl. I'll cook for us once this case is over, yeah? How does that sound?” 

“Sounds like you’re after my own heart.” 

Jay learns until you feel his lips land on your cheek.

“That I am.” 

He leaves your office without another word and you fight the heat creeping up your neck as you bite your lip. When you turn around, you’re met with Jake and Jungwon’s prying eyes from the bullpen, and watch as they high-five each other whilst giving you an array of thumbs ups and silent applause. 

You struggle to get back to work.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

In an unsurprising turn of events, Ahn folds when Namjoon takes the stands. When all is said and done, you find yourself at an all too familiar position with Jay in the kitchen and you sitting behind the counter with a glass of wine in your hands. 

He’s grown up, for one. Jay’s back muscles are more defined in his t-shirt as opposed to the dress shirts he wears everyday, giving you something else to look at as he cooks dinner for the both of you. The week wasn’t as bad as you anticipated it to be, but you’re sitting in his penthouse and patting yourself on the back for making the suggestion to stay indoors. 

It’s oddly comforting to feel as relaxed as you are in his space, sans wine. The buzz hit you after he gave you a tour of his place and the Jay of the present is definitely not the Jay you used to know. His tastes are elevated and his collection of instruments has nearly tripled. The artwork adorning his walls speaks for his maturity, as does the furniture in his living room. It reminds you just how much the two of you have grown up since law school and how eager you are to explore sides of him you have yet to discover. 

The steak is almost done cooking and Jay has spoon-fed you mashed potatoes until they’re to your liking, and you laugh when he celebrates your approval. The seasoned asparagus sits underneath warming lights while the rest of the meal is done cooking, and it wouldn’t feel right to have dinner with Jay without commenting about how much of a professional he looks from where you’re sitting. 

You know it’s the wine in your system intensifying your emotions, but you can’t help but stare at Jay’s muscles as he moves throughout the kitchen. He works effortlessly and seamlessly, never neglecting any part of the meal he’s prepared for you. The level of care and precision he’s exemplifying through his cooking, while simultaneously entertaining you, has rendered you a blushing, giggling mess. You’re sure Jay can tell that you’re already buzzed after two glasses, but he promised to drive you home so you don’t have anything to worry about. 

Jay looks criminally good in dark clothes. His laid back attire makes him look more attractive to you compared to the suit and tie he wears everyday. Something about seeing Jay like he used to be all those years ago stirs something within you. It makes you cross your legs in your seat and perch forward with your elbows on the counter below you as he puts the finishing touches to the meal. 

You requested nothing fancy for tonight upon knowing Jay would drop everything for you to secure a date at the most expensive restaurant and pay the bill to back it up. That could be saved for another today. Tonight is less about wanting Jay to prove himself than wanting to feel comfortable around him, as this would be your first time hanging out with him in his space since law school. 

When he’s finished cooking, Jay pulls the smaller dining table towards the tall window overlooking the city below and seats you in your chair opposite his. He tops you off with another glass of wine when you nod, pouring himself a glass as well. 

Conversation flows like the two of you are out on a first date. You are, in a sense, but you’re also two long lost best friends who happen to have deep feelings for each other, finding yourselves once again. Perhaps it’s the alcohol that’s settled in your system with the headstart you had compared to Jay, or maybe it’s the soft look of adoration in Jay’s eyes when you laugh at his jokes, but tonight you feel as though you’re the only woman in his life who matters to him. 

“I really missed you,” you tell him. Jay looks back at you from the kitchen as he clears the finished dinner plates. Too full to entertain dessert, he leaves it in the fridge until you’re ready to eat again. “I missed this too, you know? Coming over and doing nothing but talking to you, I mean.” 

“I’m here if you’ll have me,” Jay says. You’ve followed him to the kitchen, albeit wobbling because of the wine. Jay reaches out and steadies you with his arms until you’re pushing yourself to hug his body with your arms around his middle. 

“You’re so warm.” You turn your head to peck at his chest before letting your cheek rest against him. Jay closes his eyes and wraps his arms around your body too, his own lips finding the crown of your head. 

“You’re even warmer, but I’ll bet it’s because you had half a bottle of wine.” 

You playfully smack his arm. “Hey. You said you’d drive me home so I took that as a sign to get tipsy.” 

Jay laughs. “I thought you might say something like that. Good thing I have a higher tolerance, isn’t it?” 

You nod against him. “It’s the best.” 

“Do you want to go home now?” Jay asks carefully when the two of you have stood in silence for a good minute or two. When you shake your head, he bites back a smile. “Do you want to watch a movie? You can pick something off of Netflix and we can watch it until you’re ready to go home.”

“Sounds like a perfect idea,” you say, sighing out of content. 

Jay lets you change into one of his oversized shirts that covers you just enough and you walk out of the bathroom looking like sin. It takes everything in him not to comment because he doesn’t want to scare you away. Jay comes to the realization that you likely aren’t wearing shirts underneath because of how the fabric rode up your thigh as you sat on the couch beside him. He desperately tries not to pay any mind to it for the sake of your comfortability. 

Truthfully, Jay wants to wrap you up in his arms and put the blanket he got from his closet over the both of you. But he’s letting you take the lead when it comes to physical contact, unsure of just how comfortable you are with him yet. He’s only just gotten you back in his life. He doesn’t want to scare you away any time soon. 

The movie you picked is somewhat interesting, although Jay can’t say he’s too keen on paying attention. In the first ten minutes, you’ve shifted to rest your head on his shoulder and his arm is now resting behind you to accommodate your body. He feels you dip yourself lower as the movie progresses until you’re fully leaning on his chest, and Jay has a sneaking suspicion you’ve been slowly edging your way into this spot to not make him feel uncomfortable either. 

He puts his free hand on your hip and squeezes your body to let you know he’s right with you. Jay watches you smile and try to hide it. He thinks it makes you look even more attractive than you already are. 

Jay doesn’t know what happens next. Another thirty minutes pass by with easy conversation between the two of you. One thing leads to another and he feels you shifting in front of him, and his mind thinks you’re getting up to tell him you want to leave. 

But you don’t. You shift to face him and push your body up until your face is right in front of his. 

He can feel your breath on his lips. The scent of wine is long gone but your eyes look like they’re searching for something. Jay sees the way your throat constricts and he tries not to look down past where it isn’t appropriate. 

“Is it bad that I want to kiss you?” you ask him just above a whisper. 

Jay doesn’t say anything. He doesn't need to. Instead, he leans forward to push his lips against yours. 

His lips touch your plush ones as his hands encircle your waist to hold you steady, like he’s afraid you’ll topple over on the couch. Your own hands immediately touch his chest and scrape the fabric like an experimental touch. Your lips feel so soft against his and the sounds of your lips smacking against one another become more audible than the soft volume of the television in the background. 

Jay pulls back to see you suppress a grin, but he pinches your side to get you to smile for him. 

“You’re a really good kisser,” you say. “Had any practice?” 

“Just my pillow and a few posters,” he jokes. “I needed to practice so I could kiss you like you deserve.” 

He watches you blush. “Don’t say that. I feel like I’m sixteen again.” 

Jay pecks your lips and lingers for a few seconds. “Good. You make me feel like a teenager too.” 

“Oh yeah?” you ask, shifting yourself until you’re perched on his lap. Jay watches from beneath you as you steady your body by placing both hands on his shoulders and swinging your leg across his lap. 

“Yeah,” he whispers just before you lean down to kiss him again. 

Jay feels your hands wrap around his neck to hold him in front of you like you’re afraid he’s going to push you away again. To quell your fears, his own hands take hold of your wrists before he holds your fingers in his own and gives you a gentle squeeze. You seem to loosen up as you smile into the kiss, prompting Jay to do the same. 

Holding you feels familiar. It feels like coming home after a long, tiring day at the office to the person he loves the most. Having you in his arms after all this time has Jay rethinking his future and where you fit in it. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s ready to risk all that he has if that means seeing you as happy as you are in this very moment. 

You whine when Jay’s lips detach from yours but he smirks into your skin when he hears a soft moan coming from your own upon placing his just below your ear. He thinks how his younger self would’ve killed to hear the sounds you’re making right now and how lucky he is that this opportunity is being granted towards him. You sound like you’re enjoying yourself and that’s all Jay could ever ask of you. 

Your hand creeps below his shirt until your nails are raking his abdomen and you moan when you feel the ridges on his body. He sighs against your neck and you’re left speechless at how his physique has changed since the last time you saw Jay shirtless. The ache in your belly leaves you wanting more and you arch your body until it feels as though you’re completely giving into him before pressing your palms against his body. 

You two kiss with fervor as the minutes go by. Suddenly, Jay feels your body beginning to rock yourself on his lap as your lips find his own. He feels you tug on his shirt until you push it up his neck, breaking contact with him so that he can pull his shirt off completely. 

Your lips feel like heaven against his own skin as you begin to explore every inch of him. He feels you peppering kisses along his jawline and closes his eyes to bask in the feeling of your body so close to his. Jay lets his hands roam around your waist and when you don’t move to push his hands off as his fingers dip beneath the shirt you’re wearing, he smiles to himself and lets his fingertips push the fabric upwards just slightly. The feeling of his hands on your body has you rocking forward until your chest is in front of Jay’s face. You gasp when you realize how hard he’s become underneath you.

“I’m sorry,” Jay begins to apologize. “You’re very attractive.” 

You look down and tilt your head, experimentally pressing your lower half on his crotch. Jay emits a low moan, making your mouth quirk in excitement. 

“You’re very attractive,” you tell him, slowly rocking your body backwards and forwards.

You move to push Jay’s hands closer to your body and he gets the hint. He uses the momentum to push and pull you into him at the pace you set, watching as your mouth opens in euphoria. Jay finds it incredibly attractive the way your eyebrows pinch in arousal every time the tip of his clothed cock bumps your covered core, and if what you’re wearing is anything to go by, he was correct in assuming you weren’t wearing shorts underneath his shirt. 

Your pace quickens with every pass of his cock beneath you. He gets harder and harder, and you get wetter and wetter. Your own slick is rubbing against you from the fabric of your panties and it becomes almost too much to bear. Jay’s hands have found their way to your back as your own body pushes against his. He feels your tits pressing against his chest and the desperation in your hips as you gain momentum while he begins to take control from beneath you. 

Jay bucks into you until you let out a particularly loud gasp. His strength surprises you, as does the force with which he thrusts into you. His clothed cock hits you at the most delicious angle while you’re fighting to stand upright against his lap, fighting to grip the couch and his body at the same time. Jay doesn’t let you breathe, however, until you’re pushing him away so that you can access his lips once again.

The kiss is wet and messy. It’s hot in the room and you’re pushing Jay’s hands until they cup your breasts. He pinches your nipples and watches in pleasure as you throw your head back. 

“My baby likes that, doesn't she?” He pinches them again when you nod and it sends a shock straight down your spine and where you need him the most. 

Jay lifts the shirt just enough to uncover your chest and brings your right bud into his mouth. He licks it with his tongue in an effort to tease you until you’re squirming in his lap. He does the same with the other nipple until you’re pushing yourself against his cock that he grunts and nips at the bud before sucking it with his mouth. 

The pleasure is almost too good to form words. Your mouth stays at a permanent ‘O’ with every swipe of Jay’s tongue and he pushes your shirt until you take it off for him. He places his hands on your breasts and squeezes them in his palms as if getting to know your body better, almost like he wants to commit you to his memory. 

But you’re impatient. After the long years of daydreaming about Jay, you want nothing more than to have him inside of you.

“Please let me have it,” you whisper against his lips, pushing your body down onto his. “I need it so bad, Jay.” 

“We can’t,” he chokes. He doesn’t want to push his luck. “I-I need to drive you home.” 

Not even he believes this pathetic excuse.  

“I don’t care. Drive me home tomorrow.” 

Jay doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He flexes his fingers to distract himself before giving in, placing his grip on your waist and pushing you down onto him. He hears you gasp at the sudden movement and chides himself for being so turned on by you when mere moments ago he was thinking logically. 

“Just the tip,” you mutter against his mouth to convince him. “Please.” 

“Just the tip,” Jay agrees, pushing his trousers just enough to free his cock. To the best of your ability, you take your panties off without moving from his lap and throw it behind him. He finally feels your pussy glide over him and throws his head back, feeling pure euphoria. 

Jay’s cock is thick and long, and you feel it throbbing between your legs. The friction is too delicious to ignore, as is the wet sounds consisting of your arousal covering him. He lifts his head up to watch you bite your lip and look at him with desperation in your eyes. It’s the kind of expression he’s wanted to see from you for so long. Jay can only hope you know that this is how he looks at you. 

It’s quiet in the room, save for wanton breaths and the sound of your own arousal mixing with his precum. It’s so erotic to see you as desperate for him as he is for you because he’s yearned for this moment for so long. Jay bites his lip with every pass as you hover above his tip and he tries his hardest not to buck his hips, instead allowing you to move at your own pace. 

When you catch the tip of his cock inside of your pussy, the two of you let out an audible gasp at the sudden intrusion. His thick head breaches your fluttering hole as he grabs your waist to prevent you from moving when his tip is fully sheathed inside of you. 

“Holy fuck,” you moan, balancing yourself on his hot tip. “Feels so fucking good.”

“Yeah?” Jay asks. “It does, doesn’t it?” You nod rapidly and Jay kisses the side of your mouth before moving to your neck. 

You keep yourself steady by gripping his shoulders that are hot to the touch. He flexes when your nails dig into him, causing you to moan at the sight. Jay feels the movement of your throat as he kisses your neck and grunts when he feels your pussy clench around him. 

The two of you stay like that for a few minutes until your legs give out and you’re holding onto Jay’s neck as a silent plea for him to take over. He gets the hint, wrapping his arms around your body until you’ve fallen limp against his chest. Jay uses his leverage to slowly pull himself out of you before pushing the head of his cock back in. 

The moan you emit against his ear makes him feel like the two of you are starring in your very own sextape. It causes Jay to jerk his hips unexpectedly and push another inch of himself into your pussy by accident. He’s about to apologize until he feels your pussy clenching around him at the sudden intrusion. 

“You’re so big,” you whisper to him. “S-So big. So good.”

“You feel fucking amazing,” Jay praises. “Such a wet pussy and I’ve barely done anything to you.” 

You whimper at his words while closing your eyes shut and move your head until your cheek rests comfortably on his shoulder. The angle allows you to press kisses to Jay’s jawline and you do so until you feel him begging to thrust into you once again. 

The tempo he sets is slow and delicious. He feels every drag as your mixed arousal coats the rest of his cock and Jay feels as though he’s found pure euphoria on earth, the kind that men search for but never seem to find. The shallow thrusts cause his mouth to hang open and his fingers itching to touch your clit, but he doesn’t want to move unless you tell him to. 

It isn’t until you’re pushing yourself down onto his length that he speaks again.

“Baby,” he warns. “I thought–”

“Changed my mind,” you tell him desperately. “Unless you don’t want to.”

Jay nods. “I want to. Fuck, I want to.” 

You kiss him hard before pushing down on him. “I just want you.” 

Jay’s body falls limp when he feels your body glide up and down his cock like you’ve trained your entire life for this very moment. He sees the sweat building between your brows and licks his lips at the way your tits bounce against your chest. It’s sensual the way you look on top of him. Jay brings one of your nipples in his mouth and makes a home there as your hips begin to work his own.  

His body feels like it was made for you to use. The desperation at which his own hips chase yours should make him feel embarrassed, but he feels like a lovesick fool. In this moment, everything he’s ever wanted to say to you lies in the power of his thrusts and the way his lips move with yours. It makes him feel like there’s nothing in this world that could take you away from him. 

He pushes himself up until you’re clinging onto his body for dear life. The sounds you make push him even harder against your body, drilling his hard cock within you until you’re moaning like somebody’s filming you. It’s all too much for Jay to handle, and he’s glad he feels you come undone before him.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” you moan out, clenching against his cock as it works your body until completion. 

Jay pulls out and finishes on your ass just after you’ve come down from your own high. You jolt when you feel his come on your skin but move to kiss him as the two of you come down from your respective highs and he feels your heartbeat against his chest, smiling into the kiss. 

“You’re amazing,” he tells you between kisses. He tries to speak but you silence him with more pecks. “Let me clean you up, yeah?” 

Your heart feels warm. You nod and let him pry your body off of his, carefully laying on your stomach so that the couch doesn’t see the mess Jay created. He comes back a moment later with a warm washcloth and his trousers zipped up before wiping you clean. The rag is tossed onto the floor as he pulls your body towards him, wrapping your legs around his torso, and pulling your lips to his once more. 

“Stay the night?” he asks you. 

“That was my plan, but I’m glad you brought it up before I did.” 

Jay pinches your thigh and hears you laugh. He could die like this. 

“Since it’s a weekend, I think you and I have a lot of catching up to do.” Jay kisses down your neck and between the valley of your breasts, gliding his lips along your stomach until they’ve reached just below your belly button. 

“Oh? And what is it you’re promising, Park Jongseong?” 

Jay smirks up at you from where he’s positioned. 

“I have an idea in mind,” he says coyly, moving his mouth to press a chast kiss on your slit. “It has a lot to do with my mouth and my fingers.” Your body arches when Jay’s tongue licks a bold stripe up your slit. 

“I like the sound of that. Would you let me return the favor?” 

“Only if you cum on my tongue twice.” 

You push his face into your core.

“Better get a head start.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

add yourself to my taglist

taglist: @enha-stars @karinasbaby @baevsxii @lillotus17 @syzavxy @mrmld @nikilvrfvr @luvyev @notevenheretbh1 @wvnkoi @seungiesgf @kgneptun @judeduartewannabe @iheartjayke @wonsbubble @ilyjxdz @foggysfrog @oddracha @haechansbbg @tobiosbbyghorl @ryunjin0 @sharksandminhos @jungwoneez @alex-is-sleeping @minjaexvz @woninluv @engeneeee-168 @friendlyuser57 @moony-mari @trdhgg @sleepyhoon @sunghoonsgfreal @i02hoonz @riksaes @021894s @zeeloveshee.

[lilacnini]

enhypen doing a challenge with you

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem idol!reader | genre: fluff | wc: 1000+ | prompt: ENHYPEN members when you do a challenge with them but the catch is your dating them secretly | warnings: not proofread | LIBRARY FOR MORE...

이희승 (lhs)

you're the 6th (or 7th) member of lsfm. you just had your comeback easy, and you're were told you were going to do a challenge with heeseung. and boy, heeseung was so happy. like he forgot about dating and how judgmental knetz can be. hes just excited to see you because how busy you were do to your promotion schedule meaning he couldn't see you for weeks. when you guys meet at the hybe dance practice room, you teach him how to do the dance. which he obviously eats it up. then you would start filming the challenge. the two of you guys would end the challenge by like going opposite directions (like out of the camera view). and as heeseung being a supportive bf, he would watched the mv and dance. so he would like exit the camera by doing that chaewon move. like i can see him doing it so vividly and leaving the camera view while your laughing so hard. now the comments are all like: "heeseung being #1 fearnot fr!"

rest of the members below

박종성 (pjy)

as the 5th member of aespa, you had a comeback of drama. and comebacks = interactions with idols = interaction with enhypen = interaction with specifically jay. and when jay heard hes going to do a challenge with you, bro is like yapping about it 24/7 to his members. he would be sitting in the living room, yapping to jungwon, "man, im gonna film a challenge with my amazing gorgeous girlfriend." but now lets talk more specifically during the challenge. he would have already learned the choreography because he streams ur music duh. and by the time you go to hybe dance practice room, he's basically like the 6th member of aespa. during the challenge, jay would try so hard not to smile at you cause of rumors (and he doesnt want to be fired). but in the end, he does give a small smile to you cause he can't even hold it. (guess what the next topic will be during the next enhypen discussion!)

심재윤 (sjy)

being the maknae of gidle, is also being the gf of jake from enhypen. you're the youngest in the group and you had your comeback of super lady (lady lady call me super lady). and jake already, as the golden retriever he is, he's hyping you up 24/7. he stalks your instagram page + fancams. like even before his manager tells him he's gonna do a challenge with you, he already knows the lyrics and dance by heart. when he does the challenge, he eats it up. but lets be honest, jake would honestly purposely cause a dating rumor during the challenge. like this man can't hold his urge to hug you at award shows or talk about you during live so he would just like grab your waist while watching the scenes (NOT TO MENTION, THERES A BEHIND THE SCENES CAMERA WATCHING WHICH HE OBVIOUSLY KNEW). like jake that wasn't part of script (????)

박성훈(psh)

7th member of ive, which is aka you. you knew sunghoon cause your member, wonyoung, is friends with him due to them being music bank mcs together. (lets say you were jealous that your member got to be with him every friday and not you but still) you had just came out with all night (cover) and enhypen came out with sweet venom. like his challenge with wonyoung, you would film the all night challenge + sweet venom challenge too with him. before, sunghoon would be sooo happy to see you but at the same time so scared (this man has like trust issues with k-netz so). during the behind the scenes, you guys would just standing 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️ like this. like your scared too (i would). but in the end, when all the cameras are off you wave goodbye and of course sunghoon leaves a small kiss on cheek.

김선우 (ksn)

obviously, as expected, you're the 6th member of newjeans. being in the same company as sunoo means that you would be best friends with him. ironically, you knew each other from school and unexpectedly joined the same company. as sunoo is easy to connect with, you two became close friends within days. six months later, you're now dating sunoo (cute <3). during the sweet venom era, you film a challenge with sunoo (you begged the company). usually, hybe posts behind-the-scenes of challenges, so your behind-the-scenes footage i feel would go viral. some fans were shocked to see the fact that the two of you were friends and knew each other (well, you were technically more than just friends). but at the end of the challenge, you guys would do a heart together 🫶. like, how cute is that?

양정원 (yjw)

you were gonna have a comeback, dash, as a member of nmixx. which meant you were going to do a challenge with jungwon. which means you were going to see your bf (or your loyl). you guys do the part of "mhm i just want to continue my pace!" and you messed up so badly cause how cute jungwon was. I MEAN WHO WOULDN!?!??! like you want to stop the video to just squish his cheeks and dimples!!!!! but other than that, after 45 tries you made it and was able to post it. your guys interaction was so >>>>>>>>.

西村力 (nsr)

10th member of kep1er was you. being from a survival show like riki, meant that you were easily connected with riki. ironically you both guys came in 4th in survival shows. back in galileo, era, you guys filmed a challenge together. the two of you were known for your dancing skills and rapping skills. so obviously when you filmed a challenge, fans are freaking out. but in reality, the two of you were actually dating and super excited to film the challenge. riki never really did a gg song challenge often so it was slightly new but in the end he was able to pull it off iconically (as usual, like did you guys see the hype boy challenge and super shy challenge?!?!??!). but let's talk more deeply during the challenge. riki was obviously the shy person as he couldn't seem to make eye contact with you. the comments are all about riki's shy smile towards you and started shipping you + him.

[pshcomforts]

➳ say you won’t let go | pjs.

idol!jay x fem!reader

“i’m so in love with you, and i hope you know”

synopsis: you dream that jay cheated on you, and he comforts you.

warnings/content: written in third pov. small angst in the beginning but fluffy ending! jay’s husband material! not proofread. cursing.

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 1.8k

a/n: birthday post for jay <33 and a special one for my jay stans out there :)

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: say you won’t let go by james arthur

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

2:02 ─────────────|────── -1:29

“don’t do this jay, it’s not what you want..,” y/n’s trembling voice spoke as she felt her heart shattering with every moment of truth.

was this the real reason he always came home late?

she heard her boyfriend give a scoff.

“not what i want? how would you know that when you didn’t even know i was cheating on you?” jay darkly chuckled, laughing in disbelief of her pitiful plead.

“you’re pathetic y/n… really,” he spat out with a sinful grin.

his sharp words pierced into her like a knife in the back. tears quickly ran down her cheeks like no other, feeling her body get heavier as she felt like she was running out of breath.

with a call to the heart, something shouted inside her to open her eyes, to leave this dreadful scene she was stuck in.

and she did so, but she woke up in a different atmosphere.

. *₊ ° . ☆

y/n’s eyes shot open, quickly sitting up in the dark room as heavy breaths were taken.

it was a dream, a nightmare in fact.

tears still continued to stream down her cheeks though as she tried calming herself down with a 5’11 boy shuffling around.

“it was a dream..,” she shakily mumbled to herself, calming her heart rate with its loud pounding in her ears.

the sleepy male took notice of her sitting up, small sniffles heard as she tried silencing herself.

“y/n? you okay?” jay’s groggy grumble of a voice spoke, eyes trying to make out the figure in distress.

it hadn’t been too long since he arrived home late from rehearsals, so his body was still draining him back to sleep.

she didn’t respond though. her throat was dry, voice almost too hoarse to speak with her body still shaking from the horrifying nightmare.

“hey darling, what’s wrong?” he softly murmured after taking in that she wasn’t answering back.

jay finally sat up as well with blinking eyes to get a better look at her.

“y/n?” he called out again, careful in his every movement as his hands reached towards her face, attempting to try and relieve her at once.

the girl sniffled, finally coming to meet her boyfriend’s face with soft tears and puffy lids that showed her concern.

his heart instantly sank at the sight, wondering what had happened while he was asleep.

it struck him awake, eyes no longer blinking from the exhaustion of waking up as he went closer to her.

“hey hey hey, what’s wrong love? did you have a bad dream?” jay sweetly questioned, wiping away her tears while patiently waiting for her to catch her breath from the tiring cries.

after seconds of waiting, he finally got his answer with a nod — “yeah… i had a dream that you..,” her voice stopped for a second, pain caught in her throat as she strived to finish her sentence — “.. cheated on me.”

the male’s jaw dropped once her words processed.

cheat? on someone like her?

his breath was kicked out of his lungs with the frowning thought that he would do such a thing to the girl he loved.

“y/n..,” he softly whispered before pulling her into a warming hug.

✩ ‘i pulled you closer to my chest’ ✩

it healed her in every way possible, giving reassurance that he would never dare to do anything remotely close — but even then, he knew he could do more with his words.

as they hugged, he prompted, “i would never cheat on you. i would have to be the dumbest fucking guy alive to betray a special girl who’s worth keeping like you.”

he stopped, shakily sighing as he hated his dream self for cheating. “i wouldn’t even forgive myself if i pulled that crap, please know that i promise to never make you go through that in real life.”

jays grasp around her body was tighter as the thought of cheating was truthfully striking him as well.

his girls eyes closed to reel in the loving presence of it all while smiling.

of course she knew he wouldn’t do such a thing, but the utter shock of the dream being so real had her in a trance.

“i know you wouldn’t jay, everything just felt so real.” she confirmed, rubbing his back with her hands as she was comforting him now.

the two finally pulled away after her words, tears still lightly falling down her face as the boy wiped them away again. they stared at each other, both equally melting at the sight of their idiots in love.

with jay’s hands still holding her cheeks, he pulled her closer by the tug of them. leaning in closer as well while kissing where her tears dropped, giving a comforting reassurance within each one as he let out soft whispers of nicknames he’d always call her — ‘gorgeous,’ ‘love,’ ‘darling,’ ‘my girl.’

✩ ‘just say you won’t let go’ ✩

y/n’s eyes were kept close as her face scrunched from the micro-aggressive kisses she received on the other end.

with the last kiss being on her forehead, the two tucked back into bed.

the smitten male rested his chin on top of her head as his arms were wrapped around her body, bringing her in closer for a fond matter of consolation.

y/n relaxed all at once, body feeling fatigue in the radiating comfort brought by her boyfriend.

the two stayed in the same position throughout the night, then dawn soon peaked into the curtains, awakening jay first.

he grinned ear from ear at the sight of his pretty girl still sound asleep. his hands reached out to her face and lightly moved her hair strands around, careful to not scare her as he admired her gorgeous facial features.

with small shuffle movements made, y/n’s eyes peeked open at the glimpse of jay in a messy hairstyle caressing her own hair.

“morning darling,” his deep, beautiful voice bellowed while a smile crept onto her face. “how are you feeling?”

“just great, baby.”

the two dumbly smiled at each other as they stayed gazing into one another before finally sitting up.

“last night was something, wasn’t it?” jay joked, slightly laughing at his own joke, leaving her to only roll her eyes playfully.

“jongseong!” y/n exclaimed his government name, letting the arm closest to him fly up and send a smack to the tall man.

he chuckled with the laugh, the opposite arm quickly reaching over to his other side as he uttered — “ah! my arm! you hurt it!! after what i did last night.”

she laughed at his stupid action before she automatically tried to send another hit to him, only to be stopped by her very own boyfriend.

his hands ran to hers first, getting a hold of her left wrist before getting her right when she attempted the other side.

“jay!” she whined.

his arms fully took control of hers now as she tried to wiggle her way out but couldn’t do much.

the handsome boy’s laughs were echoed throughout the apartment, smile widening with his body toppling over hers. he pinned her wrists down on each side of her head.

jay’s fluffy, black hair was now hanging down as his girl huffed out a defeated sigh once she had realized she had no way out.

his lips curled in satisfaction at his victory.

“you still gonna hit me?” he mocked, a smirk coming on as the smile left.

y/n still tried to wiggle and move around but ultimately gave up.

“jay.. this is no fun!” her whiny voice rang in his ears as he felt his heart flutter upon the thought of her.

“give me a kiss and i’ll let you go.”

she scoffed at the oldest line in the playbook.

“jay.., really? a kiss?”

but he didn’t budge with her words, just a simple nod given as he started to lean in closer.

the distance between their faces started to close once he reached further for the kissable lips.

but the girl turned away in a playful manner, leaving jay to pout as he sternly looked at her.

“morning breath…,” she murmured, using it as an excuse.

jay scoffed out a smile, flashing a smirk with her lame attempt.

“i don’t care, i want those pretty lips on mine right now.”

before she could prolong any further, he quickly crashed his lips against hers, not giving her time to think or react.

he roughly moved, pushing for a reciprocating touch but only ever so slightly to keep it sweet. his hands then let go of her wrists, one hand closer to the head and the other on her jaw to kiss her better.

y/n smiled into it, allowing her boyfriend to feel her lips curl as she loved how he kissed. her hands automatically ran to his hair, fingers roaming through each strand in return.

the two shared a sweet moment before he finally pulled away with half-moon crescent shaped eyes.

he was definitely love-struck.

✩ ‘you make me feel this way somehow’ ✩

jay quickly ran his hands to her waist, giving small tickles to her body as she was taken back by it.

“jay, no!!” she yelled, laughing and crying from the ticklish movements her boyfriend did while he enjoyed her giggles.

he laughed along as her hands continued to try and swat away the man’s hands.

“please, jay!” she yelled again, laughing uncontrollably from the continuous feather touches.

when he felt like he teased enough, he stopped with an undeniable grin plastered across his face.

the only thing heard were their giggles they shared as he couldn’t help but feel endorphins run through his body.

after her laughs ran out, she mumbled the word — ‘jackass’ — to him as a joke, causing jay to chortle out more laughter.

y/n rolled her eyes, secretly enjoying his loud laughs. he just couldn’t contain his excitement in hearing her joy.

only she could get him in this melting state.

“whatever,” she jokingly mumbled, smacking his arm again as she stared intently at the handsome man who was still uglily laughing.

after seconds, jay finally stopped with his chuckles dying out in the room.

y/n and him stayed locked in eyes, both coming to a daze of how lucky they were to have each other before he decided he would cook breakfast.

“do you need any help?” she offered.

jay furiously shook his head as he responded, “no it’s fine darling, just stay in bed and i’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

he placed a long and sweet kiss on her cheek before leaving to the kitchen to whip up something delicious.

“my forever half..,” y/n whispered as she comforted herself back into bed. her heart was full and her mind was filled with her boyfriend, and his acts of service.

she didn’t know how she was able to find someone as amazing as jay.

though the boy was an idol and had a busy schedule, he still made sure he had time for her.

he always did.

✩ ‘i’m gonna love you till my lungs give out’ ✩

they were still young, but that didn’t mean jay wasn’t already thinking of a future with his favorite girl.

✩ ‘but i wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old’ ✩

they wouldn’t ever let each other go.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[ikeuverse]

MARRIAGE RING — p.jongseong

PAIRING: husband!jay x fem!reader GENRES: fluff, angst, slight suggestive WC: 4.3k+

WARNINGS: mention of alcohol, partying and arguing. some swearing and implied mentions of having sex, but nothing detailed.

NOTES: as the winner of the vote, our beloved husband jay is here. i had this idea on a random day at work, with an almost similar situation with a colleague that works with me. i readapted and thought especially for this scenario. i was so nervous about writing to jay that i tried this four times until this final story came out. so, please, give lots of love. and i hope you like it!

masterlist

Your eyes roamed the entire place before they landed on Jay. A playful smile painted the boy's lips as he slowly approached you. As soon as one of his hands touched your waist, automatically your hand wrapped around his neck and let him brush his lips against yours.

"Enjoying the party?" he whispered against your lips before kissing them slowly, pulling away soon after.

"I guess Jiwoo could pick a better theme, huh?" you commented with a laugh, receiving another kiss from Jay.

Truth be told, you knew that your best friend and sister-in-law had always owned the best parties since your university days. Not least because you helped her prepare everything, so you knew how it always worked. But after two years of graduation, it never crossed your mind that she would throw a university-themed party.

"To remember the old times" you remember her saying when she called you to her house, bombarding you with information and asking for your help with the preparations. Just like in the old days.

You just laughed, because it was impossible to deny Park Jiwoo anything. Especially if she asked her fiancé, Heeseung, for help. He was a talker when he wanted to be and you knew him well, so having two talkers ask you for help was even more impossible to deny.

"Why a better subject? I think she chose well" Jay shrugged, balancing the cup in one hand while the other remained on your waist "Reminds you of old times."

"And you like it?" you asked curiously, Jay shrugged and lightly squeezed the fingers against your skin.

"I love it" he emphasized, leaning toward you after taking a sip of his drink. His lips were cold from the freshly consumed liquid, and you fought the urge to whimper when he kissed you once more. The hot breath tasted of vodka and some citrus fruit that you couldn't even identify, only feel the warmth of Jay's tongue fighting for dominance against yours. Before your lungs could clamor for air, he broke away, letting his forehead rest against yours.

"And give me one good reason why" you whispered, even though you knew he would hear over all that loud music because of the closeness of the two of you.

"Hm, let me see" he pretended to think for a moment, you laughed at his theatrics and Jay looked deep into your bright eyes "Because I met the woman of my life, who I married. Can you believe it?"

Your cheeks slowly began to burn, and you knew it wasn't from the alcohol because your glass had run out minutes before Jay arrived. And it couldn't have been just from a shared kiss with your husband, so you knew you were getting flushed.

Jay had that effect on you even after years of relationship, and even now, married.

"What a lucky woman" you said a little louder, kissing him again. Before you felt Jay's body quickly separate from you.

"Sorry about that, y/n. We need Jay now" Heeseung hummed, under protests from Jay for having to pull away from you.

"It's our beer pong, y/n. Just like old times" Jungwon smiled in your direction as he explained why they had taken Jay away. You laughed at your husband's little desperation, even though you did not object to staying.

"Now, it's just the two of us" Jiwoo came in surprise, hugging you by the shoulders "Just like old times, and forever and ever."

"Forever and ever" you smiled at her, hugging her back as you looked at the party around you.

Everything did look so nostalgic. From the decorations you helped Jiwoo buy, to even some of the familiar faces at the party. Your best friend made sure to think of everything, posting it online on the alumni wall of the university you attended for so many years. No sane person who knew the two of you would not be able to attend a party planned by the duo. So practically everyone who has ever had the pleasure of enjoying something prepared by you and her was there.

People greeted you as if you were still the little celebrities on campus, even if you didn't feel that way in the first place. Jiwoo was the little celebrity. Because he was part of the university media and had a super-cute, hot brother that practically every girl wanted. This last part always bothered you, but you started to think this way after Jay met you.

The wave of memories hit you, remembering exactly the day Jiwoo told you about his older brother and how horrible it was to have so many girls approaching her with an interest in him. You felt bad for her, and at the same time, you didn't believe her. Who would be so crazy about a person that they would approach someone out of interest? But once you got to know Jay, maybe you understood girls at least a little bit. Not that you did, because you were friends with Jiwoo even before you met Jay.

And that was the reason why the coming together of the two of you was so natural and even more approved by your sister and best friend. Because she knew that you were the only one not to do what almost all the girls on that campus tried to do.

You fell in love with Jay little by little, just as he fell in love with you until everything became love. Until your relationship stretched on for years and soon you both stood in front of the altar whispering yes as you exchanged rings.

That small object symbolically united the love you had for each other since the first day you met. With that you sighed heavily, your eyes glittering as you stared at Jiwoo at the present moment and your friend glared back at you.

"What? Are you emotional?"

"Yes" your breathing became a little shaky, so you had to take a deep breath to keep from crying "I was remembering us from the time we met."

"Really?" Jiwoo whined, now thinking of the day she saw you in the library cursing the old computer that wouldn't turn on at all. She ran to you and offered to help, handing you her laptop to finish a paper in your first semester. And that never separated you again.

"Yes, I swear" you squeezed her gently.

"I love you so much, best friend and sister-in-law in the world" Jiwoo dramatically threw his arms up in the air, then brought them back down only to hug you tightly. You laughed, returning her hug before you felt your best friend's hands slide down to your hands "Thank you for staying."

"I thank you for staying here" the drink was helping the little statements and you both just enjoyed it.

But before you could say anything else, Jiwoo's eyes widened when she ran her fingers through yours, her hands still together with both of yours.

"What?" you were startled by her expression, staring at her.

"Where's your wedding ring? You and Jay—"

Your eyes ran down to your fingers to see that your marriage ring wasn't there. A crushing tightness took over your chest and you could swear your vision blurred for a few seconds before you looked at Jiwoo again.

"Shit, I left it at home" both you and her eyes widened. Something seemed so simple, forgetting a marriage ring. But not a marriage ring that you knew Jay had worked so hard to buy and almost walked down the aisle with as he said a few words and put the ring on your finger.

"Now what?" before you could answer Jiwoo, your eyes quickly found Jay walking towards the two of you with the other boys this time.

"I managed to find you, ladies" he said cheerfully, looking at you and then at his own sister.

"How was the game?" Jiwoo asked, feeling the weight of Jay's arms on her shoulders.

"I had some weird juice that Jungwon made before we played" he grimaced as he remembered the taste, being followed by Heeseung's laughter.

"It wasn't as bad as Sunghoon" he laughed at the memory, really laughed "He drank pure vinegar."

Ew, you and Jiwoo hissed as they laughed at the poor guy who should be recovering from what happened.

"And you ladies, don't you want anything to drink?" Heeseung asked.

"We…" your gaze sought Jiwoo's quickly, trying to recover from the small shock of minutes ago. The boys, although consuming alcohol throughout the night, could tell that the two of you were hiding something.

"Hey Jay, I think we got in the middle of some important business" Heeseung hummed.

"Yeah, how about you two share with us?" he feigned innocence in his question, causing Jiwoo to snort at her brother and then at her fiancé, rolling her eyes afterward.

"You two are such busybodies, you know that?" she walked past them until she reached you, entwining her arm in yours "Me and y/n are going to go out and walk around a bit. Have fun."

She pulled you along even though she heard the two of them calling your names, but you both ignored it. Maybe walking around the place and even playing small talk with some familiar faces might get one of the two to think of some excuse in case Jay and Heeseung ran into them again.

"We just need to keep this out of your brother's eyes" you commented after they reached the kitchen, making sure that neither of them would be walking by anytime soon.

"I think Jay would freak out if he saw you without a marriage ring" she laughed, but felt bad after she met your worried eyes "Ok, sorry. We'll figure something out or not even touch the subject until you two get home."

You thanked her with a small nod, looking around the counter and searching for a clean glass. That scene repeated itself at almost every party, you and Jiwoo standing in the kitchen looking for something to drink while she told you some shocking subject and your gaze dribbled between your friend and the glasses on the counter to grab one and fill it up with booze. The thought made you laugh and she laughed along with you, even though she didn't know why.

And at that, Jiwoo got two glasses to fill them with something a little stronger than your previous drink. You wanted the same, so you didn't even dare to look for something else, just letting her prepare it while your hands played with the marble of the countertop.

"Jiwoo? Y/n?" the voice called out with such surprise that you both turned your necks at the same instant to the door of the room.

Your jaw dropped slightly in surprise when you found Ryan there. He was a nice guy from university, flirted with you both all the time, and even teased Heeseung and Jay once, pretending not to know that you two were engaged.

This resulted in Jay swearing at the boy and Heeseung almost punching him in the face if not for Sunghoon and Jake having to hold him down in the middle of the soccer field. After that Ryan didn't come any closer, at Sunghoon's request because he didn't want a heavy look on his team and much less at some future party that always took place every two weeks.

Now the boy was standing there, right in front of the two of you with a playful smile on his lips.

"Hey, Ryan. Back to nostalgia?" Jiwoo asked nonchalantly, finishing filling her glass and then finally handing over your own.

"I guess so" he moved closer to the counter, standing on the opposite side from where you two were standing. Maybe that distance was a little safer "The party of you two always being amazing. Even after university."

You two decided to agree, getting into whatever subject it was. And talking with Ryan suddenly seemed nice. Because he hadn't flirted, much less made the atmosphere as uncomfortable as it used to be. You and Jiwoo had completely forgotten that your partners had once almost hit the boy who was talking animatedly right in front of you.

"So" Ryan said after a while talking about his trip to Europe and how his current job was going "How are you and Heeseung doing?" he looked at Jiwoo. The passionate smile she gave him already gave everything away.

"We're doing so well" she sighed softly "Being engaged is wonderful, I can't wait to do the same as my brother."

And then she looked at you. Eyes shining in admiration and you smiled, taking the glass with the drink to your lips and taking a sip. Trying not to look so embarrassed because quickly the subject had turned to you.

"Uh, are you and Jay okay? I mean… The wedding…" Ryan said.

"Yeah, we're perfect" you placed your glass on the countertop, he narrowed his eyes at your words and leaned in a little. But you hadn't whispered anything after that.

"Then why don't I see a marriage ring on your finger?"

A brief moment of silence was interrupted by a loud gasp. Your gaze traced the figure of Jay standing right in the kitchen doorway. He had his jaw locked and sharp, looking crookedly at Ryan as he entered the kitchen.

"Jay" the boy greeted, but got no response more than a nod at him.

"Am I getting in the way of something?" he asked, you could feel the fury in his tone.

"No, we…" Jiwoo looked at you, searching for help to continue speaking.

"We were just leaving. We just came to get a drink, come on" you took Jay's hand and quickly ran from there. Without managing to say goodbye to Ryan, much less lookback. You also didn't know if Jiwoo was following you, but you knew that Jay had incredible strength when he pulled your hand and made you stop walking right in the middle of the hallway where you two were going.

The meeting of your body with his made Jay's face close to yours. The hard look and serious countenance still lingered on his face.

"I—" you began, but he interrupted you in the process.

"He doesn't see a marriage ring on your finger" Jay began and you knew he had heard everything. You were screwed "Why, y/n? Where's the fucking ring we shared?"

"Jay… Love…" you wanted to explain as smoothly as possible, but you knew it wouldn't work at that moment. So you just tried to smile as the words slid from your lips slowly at that moment "I ended up leaving at home—"

"Oh, right" Jay didn't let you finish, letting go of your body and taking a few steps away from you. Your brow furrowed as he reached for his own marriage ring and pulled it off his finger, putting it away in his pocket soon after "I forgot it tonight too. Enjoy the party, y/n."

And just as quickly as Jay reached you, he hurried away. You didn't know what had gotten into your husband to make him do that, but it had certainly made your blood boil, and consequently, your vision was blurred by the angry tears that threatened to fall.

You tried your best not to let the tears fall, but you faltered the moment you found Jiwoo at the party again. She knew something had happened as soon as she saw you stunned, seconds after seeing Jay walk through the door and out of the house without speaking to anyone.

"I don't want to hear it, just cry" she whispered as she hugged you, walking out with you from the crowd that didn't even seem to care about the two of you there. Too absorbed in dancing and drinking to pay attention to someone crying so late at night.

So you let her walk you to the bathroom, sobbing on your shoulder and telling you what had happened. Jiwoo cursed at Jay for what seemed like hours, but you knew it had only been a few minutes to get you to stop crying and listen to her carefully.

"I also fought with Heeseung because he saw Ryan at the party" she said after you had been quiet for a while, stroking your hair and encouraging you to look in the mirror to fix your newly smudged makeup.

"I don't know what made your brother do that" you gave a slight hiccup after washing your face a little, drying it, and trying to tidy your slightly messy hair.

Jiwoo sighed, giving a small smile at your rambling after you left the mirror. It was time for her to look and check that everything was presentable.

"So I guess I can take you home now" she spoke after you were done with everything and so was she, both came out of the bathroom to find Heeseung standing on the other side and leaning against the wall with his arms crossed "Damn, what a scare!"

He suppressed a smile, unbuckling himself from the wall to approach you and Jiwoo.

"I wanted to know if you two were okay" Heeseung tried not to comment on your crying appearance, and you thanked him for it "And I just called Jay, he's already home."

The couple's gaze hovered over you, and your uncontrollable urge to cry eventually returned. But it soon pulled away when you took a deep breath and looked back at them.

"I think I'll go too."

"Then we'll take you" Jiwoo looked at Heeseung, who smilingly agreed to his fiancée's request.

Without the strength or desire to refuse, because your ride was already at home, you accepted. And you let them drive you to your apartment in silence. Both of them respected your space while you fought back tears once again.

When the car stopped in front of your residence, you apologized so much to Jiwoo and Heeseung for leaving so this alone gave you the right to shed a few more tears before you entered the lobby of the building and ran to the elevator to your apartment. You didn't think about anything else, just wishing you a nice shower since it would be almost impossible to have any conversation with Jay that night.

And with that thought you opened the front door seeing that it was unlocked. Maybe he left it open because I don't have the keys, you thought and tried to make it happen without much ado.

Taking off your shoes in the hallway, you quickly ran into your room in silence, only to find Jay already lying on the bed. His attention, which had previously been on his cell phone, quickly ran to your figure standing in the bedroom doorway.

He didn't say anything, and neither did you. And that made you go straight to the shower without a conversation. Your mind wanders to how angry Jay's tone was when he spoke to you, then letting the water run down your body soaking your skin and hair. Thinking of the hurt look he had given you as soon as you arrived. Was he resentful? Was he hurt? You didn't know. And you couldn't know without a conversation, even if it didn't happen right now.

Washing your hair and body, after a long time, you turned off the shower and got ready for bed. It was the bare minimum. Your whole body was aching and only your bed would be able to ease that, even though your taste would be to have Jay's arms as well, you would settle for just your covers for one night.

When you came out of the bathroom, your eyes ran to the figure of your husband still sitting on the bed and leaning back against the headboard. It made you sigh, he didn't even move, you thought.

Trying to put the thought out of your mind, your steps went to your dressing table and that's when the vision hit you. Your marriage ring was right there. The small, shiny ring that you and Jay had equally, was right up there. And that reminded you of why.

Swallowing dryly with the lump forming in your throat, you took the ring and returned to your ring finger in moments, stroking it gently as you turned toward your bed. Walking slowly, you noticed that Jay was fighting the urge to look at you, but his eyes remained on his cell phone the entire time.

Would he give in? Was being alone having any effect on him at all? And like a still university feeling from the recent party, you made your way to the bed and went to your usual bedside. But before you could lie down or do anything, your body slid down and your legs steadied as you sat on Jay's lap.

"What…" he dropped the cell phone at the same second, looking up to meet your eyes.

A twinge in his chest hurt like a knife, looking up at the bright red orbs that stared back at him.

"What are you doing?" he managed to ask properly, his hands hovering beside his own body on the mattress still hesitant to touch you.

You lay still for a few minutes, staring at every point on Jay's face. His tight, well-defined jaw, his adam's apple rising and falling as he swallowed dry. Every little part of his tanned, well-washed skin, the damp hair against his forehead giving a final charm.

Your face tilted just enough so that your forehead brushed against Jay's, closing your eyes in the process as his breath grew heavy against your skin.

"The ring was left up there when I did my makeup earlier today" you began whispering, your hands slowly coming up until you held Jay's face between them "And from what I remember, I couldn't finish it because I was interrupted."

Jay could feel his cheeks burn this time, knowing that the culprit had been him. Arriving home early from work and excited because his sister was having a party, he knew that you would be getting ready much sooner than expected, especially since you would soon be leaving to help your sister-in-law with the preparations. He had to take a shower to get all the tension out of the day and also accompany you, staying there and not having to come back later.

But seeing you in that robe while applying makeup was too much for Jay's poor mind to think about. And the only thought was to untie the fabric from your body and take you for a second shower. This resulted in a delay, and you ran so fast to find Jiwoo that you hadn't even finished the second batch of makeup. All because your husband had taken too much time with you in the shower before they left.

"I—"

"You acted like a dumb university student, Jongseong."

"Hey!" Jay felt a strange sensation when you called him by his real name, knowing that it was only used on extremely serious occasions. That one was, indeed.

His hands had reached your waist in the middle of the conversation, his fingers playing with the fabric of your pajamas shyly while he too had his eyes closed.

"I'm sorry" he said, making you open your eyes. When you uncrossed your forehead from his, Jay also opened his eyes to get a better look at you "I'm sorry that I got a fucking idiot jealous and it got out of control."

His words suddenly faded, lost in Jay's eyes as his caress on your waist ran one hand up your back, while the other went straight to your face. Holding your cheek gently.

"I didn't mean to do what I did and I regret it so much because, I swear, I lost my mind at that moment" Jay let his thumb trace the entire line of your jaw before fitting his hand perfectly between your neck and the back of your head "And I hurt the woman of my life. Seriously y/n, seeing you like this is the last thing I want in this world."

"Then believe me, Jay" you whispered as low as you could, fearing to cry again in front of him "Believe me I would never do that to you, because it's not my intention."

"I know, love" Jay pressed his lips to your chin, moving up to your mouth to slowly seal your lips against his "Forgive me for being a shit tonight, I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"You're forgiven for being a shit" you chuckled softly when he murmured in 'hey', and quickly your hands went to his shoulders, where you managed to steady yourself a little more on Jay's lap "Please promise me one thing."

"Whatever you want" he whispered against your lips as you leaned in close.

"Don't act on impulse when you're jealous" your mouth blew a warm breath against his, making Jay sigh next "I don't like that version of you."

He swallowed dryly once again, his chest crunching with regret as a nod was given in response. Even though no words could express how sorry Jay was about the whole situation.

"Now, I need something" he hugged you around the waist after a while, pressing your body against his in such a welcoming way that you didn't even notice the moment Jay reversed positions, placing you lying against the mattress to hover over your body.

"Sure. What do you need?" you said after a euphoric giggle at having been taken by surprise when you lay down and had Jay's body right above yours.

He then leaned in, connecting your lips in a quick kiss before pulling away just enough to whisper against your mouth.

"I need a second round to prove how sorry I am…"

"Park Jongseong!" your hysterical shout cheered him, making Jay laugh as he pressed you against him. This time the name hadn't left his lips for a bad reason.

He really wanted to redeem himself, to entwine your hands with his and join your wedding rings as he enjoyed the whole evening with you.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[cupidhoons]

INSTAGRAM STORIES ( 2 / 7 )

syn instagram stories w/ bf jay!

genre & warnings est relationship fluff no warnings mlist

note 🗒️ ; hi yes this is a series if you couldn't tell by the titles...🥸 anyway this is for my jay stans out there !

permanent taglist (open — send an ask to be added) ; @ms-no1kpopstan @naespas @aerisluv @copyhanni @lilacnini

[mirrrorballs]

right where you left me — p. jongseong

pairing / non-idol!jay x fem!reader

genre / angst, a bit of fluff at the very start, lovers to strangers, forced marriage au :(

warnings / like, one cuss word..., usage of y/n, i think that's it^^

synopsis / jay always said he'd marry you one day, until suddenly he breaks it off claiming he 'found someone else'. months later, on the day of his wedding, you find a letter slipped under the door of your apartment from none other than the groom to be himself.

author's note / dedicated to my jay obsessed best friend!

“I’m going to marry you one day,” your boyfriend, Jay, said softly with a smile on his face as he shifted in his position lying down together with you on his bed to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

You and Jay have been together for almost two years, and it’s been nothing short of pure bliss. Sure, like any other couple, you two would have the occasional arguments — but rest assured Jay would come knocking on your door with a bouquet and stuffed toy in hand while he asks for your forgiveness.

You let out a light laugh before pressing your lips into a tight smile. “As if your parents would allow that,” you told him as-a-matter-of-factly.

Jay was rich, to put it short. His parents were CEOs of different companies that their parents before them passed down for multiple generations. You, on the other hand, lived a normal and comfortable life. But apparently, it didn’t seem to be enough.

After you met his parents, Jay assured you that they just put up a cold front. Both of you knew he was lying through his teeth.

Jay shook his head. “I don’t care about them. I only want you,” he said before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

A tear rolled down your face as you recalled this memory. It’s only been a year since that sweet exchange of words that you thought secured your relationship for good. You hate how you were wrong.

You let out a dry laugh. “I— I don’t get what you’re talking about. Was it something I did? Come on, Jay. We can talk this out,” you sounded desperate as you shook your head, tears threatening to fall down.

Jay shook his head silently. You thought you almost saw tears pooling around his eyes as well. But to even think that seemed delusional. He seemed so deadset.

“I told you, we just can’t be together anymore,” he still wouldn’t look up to meet your eyes.

“I know, you told me that. But why?”

“It’s not you, it’s me,”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Jay,”

“We just can’t,”

“A reason. You owe me that much—”

“I found someone else,” he said with a tone so final, though the crack in his voice almost made him sound hesitant.

A silence filled the air.

You knew nothing lasted forever. A part of you knew that what you and Jay had going might have shattered one day. 

But he always sounded so sure that you two were something permanent. Something written in the stars. So you pushed that part of pessimism in you to the back of your mind.

Now here he was, taking everything he said, the promises he made, the sweet nothings you shared, and twisting it all around. The part of you, the ugly voice that didn’t believe in the timelessness of the love you and Jay shared mocked you as it boomed with laughter and insults.

“Oh,” you breathed out.

A man in a black suit approached your table in the privately booked restaurant and tapped Jay’s shoulder.

“Sir, it’s time to go. You’re going to be late for your meeting with your parents,” the man hesitated as his stoic face held a hint of sympathy when he glanced at you.

“I’ll be right there,” Jay replied as he picked up the coat from behind his chair.

For the first time in this meeting you two had, he managed to look you in the eye before turning his gaze back downwards.

As he turned around and walked away, you mucked up the courage to ask him a question.

“Do you love her?” You asked, suddenly standing up.

Jay turned around and met your hurt gaze. His stone-cold expression melted slightly at this. He paused for a while taking in your presence with a look that almost seemed pained.

He nodded once his eyes traveled back to meet yours once more. “Yeah,” he breathed. “More than I can say,” he paused before turning back around and leaving.

It’s been five months since you and Jay broke up, and you’ve managed to stop breaking into tears at every reminder of him after the first three.

There was no contact between you two. And it was easier to keep him out of your thoughts that way. But that didn’t mean you stopped thinking about him. It was hard to do so.

You were scrolling through social media on your phone as you rode the elevator going up to your apartment. You exited the lift and got your keys ready with one hand while you kept your phone in the other.

You stopped in your tracks after seeing a headline on twitter.

‘Heir of Park Enterprises, Park Jongseong and daughter of the CEO of Hwang & Yoon Law Firm, Yoon Jiwon: Everyone’s Favorite Newlyweds!’

You took in a sharp breath. You’ve managed to steer clear of any news and media about the couple for a while until today. You pressed the power on your phone to turn it off before making your way to open your apartment door.

As you shut the door behind you, you noticed a cream colored envelope facing downwards with your name and address written on it.

You placed your work bag down before picking up what seemed to be a letter, sitting down on your couch and opening it.

As you unfolded the crisp paper, your eyes landed on the first few words. And you immediately knew who wrote it. The handwriting was one that you could recognize as easily as your own.

Y/n,

I’m writing this the night before my wedding. And you’re all that my thoughts consume. The day we fell in love, a part of me knew that you were the girl of my dreams. The girl I wanted to see once I walked up the stairs to an altar. And tomorrow, that girl isn’t you. I’ve thought about how we broke up, how I left you, every day since it happened five months and fourteen days ago. I never wanted to leave you. But when my parents first gave me the instruction to do so for them to be able to set me up with someone else, I showed apparent impertinence by not following their words, and they were angry with me. They told me that you were a bad influence. That the reason I kept disobeying them was you. So they told me that if I refused their instructions once more, they would’ve done something terrible to you and your family. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t hurt you like that, yet I still ended up causing you pain. I thought that if I said I found someone else and treated it like a normal falling out of love instead of saying the contents of the previous paragraphs, the hurt would last shorter. I proved myself wrong with that. It pained me either way. I hope you move on from me. You deserve better. You deserve someone who would protect you and your loved ones instead of giving up. I’m sorry I couldn’t be just that, and I should’ve. I question myself everyday why I wasn’t. As for me, I know I will never find someone as good as you. Everyone else will always fall short. A part of me has loved you since I first met you, and since then I’ve only fallen in deeper. You’ve consumed my heart and my soul. I love you, Y/n L/n. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop. By the time you read this, the ring meant to be yours settles on the hand of another. But it will never be truly hers. One day, I hope you can find it in you to forgive me for the hurt I’ve caused. Maybe in some other universe, I never would’ve had to leave.

Yours, Jay

You finished the letter with a hand clasped to your mouth in a failed attempt at stopping yourself from crying.

You thought the wound was just starting to scab only for it to turn raw once more.

Jay was right. Maybe in another universe.

author's note / lowkey got emotional writing this ermmm.....

[wonlovie]

— LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU.

You were tired. Your boss of three years has been giving you a hard time, and school deadlines are creeping up. All you can think of are the things that need to be done. You need to work more hours. You need to make money to afford school. There is no time for rest because you could be doing something.

or, you're burnt out and all jay wants to do is take care of you.

— starring. boyfriend!jay x burnt-out!reader

— tags. established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, reader has a million things on their plate and doesn't know how to deal with it, depiction of a mild panic attack [crying, difficulty breathing]

— word count. 1.9k

— notes. i'm sorry that this isn't the heeseung fic but today was a rough day and this is pretty much just a vent/projection fic // this is also completely unedited but its currently 12:36am

Eye bags tugged at your skin like weights, urging you to close your eyes for even a moment. Your room was still, the darkness of the night overtaking the space. If your computer monitor didn’t display the time, 11:29 PM, you would have no idea how long you’d been sitting there. The curtains that adorned your window were drawn, the only light source being the small desk lamp Jay had given you for your birthday and your computer’s screen.

Your eyes burned as you typed, a lifeless gaze following the words on the document. Your hands felt ice cold, hours of typing causing your circulation to falter. The stiffness of your fingers made it hard to type, but you pushed on. After all, you couldn’t afford to stop. There was no time.

You were working on an essay that was due the next day. You had foolishly put it off for too long, instead working long hours to make up for the shifts you were missing to attend classes. You’d convinced yourself that you could finish it, that there was enough time, but suddenly there wasn’t.

The document page wasn’t even half full, despite you having been working at it for a few hours now. All you had typed was an admittedly messy intro paragraph and half of the first body paragraph. The cursor blinked, mocking you for your lack of progress. The blank space on the page upset you, angry tears filling your eyes as you clenched your jaw. 

Before you could begin typing again, your phone buzzed. A part of you hoped that it was Jay. You weren’t sure if you could handle it being anyone else at this hour. But when you picked it up, to your dismay, it wasn’t Jay. Instead, it was your boss.

“I need you to work tomorrow. Lia called in sick.”

You sighed, closing your eyes in frustration and exhaustion as you simply typed an okay. You had class tomorrow morning, something that your boss was aware of. You made a note to ask a classmate for the notes.

Looking back at the half-empty document, you felt your chest tighten. Your throat felt uncomfortably dry as you swallowed harshly. Your fingers shook uncontrollably as you rested them on the keyboard in a futile attempt to start again. You had typed two words when someone knocked on your door, making you jump in surprise.

Frowning, you glanced at the time again. 11:42 PM. Before you could even wonder who it was, you heard the front door open. Your shoulders relaxed ever so slightly as you presumed it was Jay. After all, he was the only other one who had a key to your apartment.

You listened as he made his way through your house and toward your bedroom door, the sound of him kicking off his shoes and shucking off his jacket unmistakable. The tight feeling in your chest grew, rearing its ugly head at you as it screamed in your ears with a silent cry. The second your bedroom doorknob started turning, you felt like you had been punched in the throat.

Jay stepped into the room with a sleepy smile, his unstyled silver hair falling into his eyes. By his side, he had a convenience store bag filled with what you assumed were snacks. “Hey,” he whispered, not wanting to be too loud so late at night. “You told me you were working on an essay, so I came with snacks!” He grinned at you, holding up the bag proudly.

“I brought your favourite; those chips from when we went to the arcade. You know, it was stupidly hard to find them, and I had to go to like two different stores, but—” Jay stopped in his tracks, his face falling when he looked up from the bag and at you. “Are you crying?”

You blinked dumbly, quickly wiping at your cheeks. The sleeve of your sweater grew wet, surprising you. “I guess I am,” you murmured, voice wet and quivering. “I’m sorry. I… I don’t know why I’m crying,” your voice cracked, and you choked out a sob that you didn’t know was holed up in your throat.

Jay was quick to drop the bag of snacks and rush over to where you sat, pulling you to your feet and into his arms. While his warmth and comforting touch were usually enough to comfort you, you couldn’t breathe as you felt sob after sob rack your body. He rubbed up and down the small of your back, stepping backwards until the backs of his legs hit your bed.

Slowly, he moved you into a sitting position, never once letting go of you as he sat next to you on the bed. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked in a small voice, his heart breaking at the sight of you like this. He didn’t ask again when you didn’t respond, rocking you back and forth against his chest. He pressed a tender kiss against your forehead when another particularly harsh cry escaped your lips.

You fisted the fabric of his shirt, wrinkling it in the process. In your haze, everything felt fuzzy. You couldn’t focus on anything except for the tightness in your chest and the pounding of your heart. You briefly thought back to the essay that sat unfinished at your desk and the text from your employer, the thoughts only making you cry harder.

Loud, heartbreaking weeps left your trembling body, and each second that passed felt worse than the last. Jay’s brows were stuck in a furrowed position, and the corners of his lips tugged into a deep frown. He hated how helpless he felt, having nothing to do except hold you. 

He wasn’t sure how long you stayed like that together, with you in his arms, crying your heart out. It might’ve been ten minutes, it might have been an hour or two. It felt like your cries were neverending, but when they did start to slow, his heart was in his stomach. He hated seeing you like this. He knew how often you’d hide your true feelings behind a smile, always assuring him that you were okay, but he knew you better than that.

Once the sobs quieted down and you were left with only shaking breaths and wet eyes, Jay pulled away to see your face. His heart ached for you at the sight of your pain-stricken features and tear-stained cheeks. He pulled his sleeve over his hand to wipe away your tears, although new ones were quick to trail down your irritated and raw skin.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again, just as gently. “Is it the essay?”

You shrugged, not trusting your voice as you avoided his eyes. He smoothed down your hair, cupping your face in his large hands in a silent plea for you to look at him. “Did something happen at work?” The pained look in your eyes let him know that he was getting closer, and his frown deepened. “Did your boss say something again?”

“Kind of,” you finally spoke, your voice just barely above a whisper. “He asked me to work tomorrow.”

Jay’s eyebrows knitted together. “You have class tomorrow.”

“I’ll have to skip,” you relented, gnawing at your bottom lip in anxiety. You started thinking of how much information you’d be missing, and you know that some of your professors like giving out surprise quizzes, and you could not get a zero for not attending. If you got a zero, if you failed, then what was the point of working so hard?

“Baby,” Jay mumbled, “Why don’t you tell your boss you can’t work?”

You shook your head, the thought of speaking up causing your throat to close. “I… I can’t do that, Jong. My boss always tells us that saying no to him is a sign of our disloyalty, and I’ve seen him fire someone who said no too many times. I can’t… I can’t get fired, I can’t lose this job. I need the money, Jay, I can’t…” You cut yourself off, your voice breaking.

Jay took your hands in his, rubbing the back of them gently with his thumbs. “There are other jobs, love. Other jobs with more understanding employers.”

Once again, you shook your head, fresh tears falling from your red eyes. “No, no, you don’t understand. This job pays really well, and the fact that I got hired in the first place was a fluke. Don’t you remember how hard it was for me to find a job before? How many… how many rejected interviews I’d gotten? I can’t quit.”

“But,” Jay interjected. “You’ve always told me how much stress you have working there. Your boss is unfair to you. He doesn’t give you breaks, and he asks you to come in too much. You’re a student too, love. I barely see you because you’re always either in class or at work. That’s not healthy.”

You looked into his eyes for the first time since he arrived in your room, the sight of his own watering eyes breaking your heart. “I can’t not work, Jong. That’s not an option. I need the money to pay for everything. I need money to pay for my tuition and for my books. And this apartment wasn’t given to me for free—I can’t just stop working, even if I wanted to.”

Jay pursed his lips. “Can I be honest with you?”

You nodded, a subtle jerk of your head that he barely caught.

“You have so much more support than you realize,” he rasped, holding onto your hands tighter as if it’d convey his message better. “Right now, if you were to stop working, you’d still be able to pay for the rest of the school year. You worked so tirelessly through the summer, and I know you have a lot saved up. You could take time off. Your parents could help with paying for school or rent—hell, I could help if you let me.

I know you’re scared and anxious, but please believe me. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if you took a break. You need it, baby. Your life isn’t going to fall apart if you don’t have a job for a few months.” He let go of one of your hands to cup your cheek. “I love you so much. Seeing you like this is so painful, and all I want is for you to realize that it’s okay to just… do nothing. It is okay to not work. It’s okay to breathe.”

Your lips trembled, another sob threatening to rip out from your throat at his kind words, words that you didn’t know you needed to hear. 

“I know I’m supported,” you whispered, holding the hand that cupped your face. “I know that, which is why I’m so frustrated with myself. I… I feel like if I’m not doing everything by myself and if I’m not working, then all I am is a failure.” You spat out the last few words, new tears filling your waterline. 

Jay shook his head, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours. “This world is harsh, and it pushes people to work beyond their limits. I wish things were different, but I can’t change how society views things.” He nudged his nose against yours, looking into your eyes with a look of what you could only describe as love. He offered you a gentle smile. “But what I can do is help you realize that. I just need you to let me in, yeah? You don’t need to be this stressed alone. I don’t want you to be alone.” He brushed away the wetness that remained on your cheeks before pressing a soft kiss against both cheeks, your nose, and finally, your forehead.

“I love you,” he murmured into your skin. “I love you, and you are worth so much more than you realize.”

[parkjayist]

ESSENCE OF ROMANCE: FLOUR(sour) START - CHPT. 1

sum park jongseong is in denial, but the truth is undeniable: he's hit a dead end. how can he maintain his title as a world renowned chemist if he can't even advance his own research? meanwhile, you, an aspiring chemist, have faced constant belittlement from your male colleagues as you pursue your own groundbreaking research in isolation. when jongseong finds you conducting experiments in HIS own lab, he's enraged. he's enveloped in fury when he realizes that you two are trying to research the same topic. yet, buried beneath his rage lies a deep sense of desperation, and he's willing to do anything to finally finish his research he's been putting off for so many years. perhaps you're the missing piece in his research (and life).

pairing chemist!park jongseong x female chemist!reader

genre written series, slowburn, angst, fluff, " enemies " to lovers, coworkers au, 1960s au, smarty pants x smarty pants

warnings misogyny, stereotypes, awkwardness, some basic chemistry explanations in dialogue, irrational behavior, arguing

an hii! first chapter and they're already fighting!! i'm planning to make the 2nd chapter a little longer. tysm for all the support on this series so far!! i hope to hear your feedback/thoughts on it throughout the process of this series :D

wc 1.8k SERIES MASTERLIST

park jongseong always despised when people barged into his lab. the quiet whispers of his name and the staring of his coworkers burned into his chest. his lab was a sanctuary, a haven where he could indulge in his experiments without the intrusion of others. so when he discovered a stranger trespassing amidst his equipment, his irritation surged like an overheated bunsen burner.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing in my lab?” 

"um, it's not what you think," you stuttered, your nerves evident as you spoke in shaky voice.

jongseong's brow furrowed in annoyance. "then what, pray tell, is it?" he snapped, his impatience seeping through. “the one day i accidentally leave my lab open, a random secretary comes in. who knows, what if you blew something up?” he sighed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. 

inconceivable hypocrisy, you thought. what’s truly unsafe is his negligence, leaving random items around in his lab …

"look, i'm not a secretary," you retorted, frustration evident in your tone. "my name is (___  ___), i'm a chemist, just like you. and i certainly didn't come in here to blow anything up. i needed materials for my own research."

jongseong's brow furrowed further, skepticism etched across his features. "sure you are," he scoffed, his impatience palpable. "trying to save face now, are we? well, regardless of who you are, you shouldn't be in here. you could have put yourself and this entire laboratory in danger!"

with that, jongseong turned on his heel and stormed out of the lab, leaving you to fume in his wake. you let out an exasperated huff. men nowadays, you mused to yourself. so ignorant and unwilling to listen to anyone but themselves.

as you cleaned up your lab space, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of resentment towards jongseong. after all, it wasn't your fault that he had left his lab unlocked, nor was it fair for him to place the blame squarely on your shoulders. nevermind that – you’d have to deal with him another day.

the following day, park jongseong was sought out to the main secretary yu jimin, determined to rectify the intrusion which had thrown a wrench into his research. as soon as jimin saw jongseong walk over – she immediately got up, opening her mouth to greet him when he interrupted her. 

“you need to keep your secretaries out of my lab,” he demanded, his tone tinged with irritation. “one of them, miss … miss (___), was in there last night without my permission.”

jimin arched an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed with jongseong’s sudden burst of anger. “oh, miss (___) isn’t a secretary, she’s a lab technician. although she likes to call herself a chemist…” she trailed off with a shrug. 

jongseong stood there in silence for a few seconds as his cheeks burned with embarrassment. “oh .... well, um … that’s good to know,” he mumbled, his pride wounded by his rash actions.

at lunchtime, you quickly got out your lunch and your notebook. today’s lunch was a freshly baked croissant with two egg tarts. you took a bite out of the egg tart– crispy yet soft in the inside, you noted. you quickly wrote your thoughts down into your notebooks, taking another bite of the tart. you hummed happily, satisfied with the hard work you put into baking these yesterday. suddenly, you hear a chair in front of you being pulled back, the noise of someone dragging it grating your ears. any remnants of contentment from your meal dissipated instantly, replaced by a surge of tension. he looked at you sheepishly as you tilted your head sideways as if to ask for him to speak. 

his expression suddenly turned contrite, and he took a deep breath before saying, “i think i owe you an apology. i’m sorry for the way i snapped at you last night – i was just stressed and caught off guard. if you couldn’t tell from everyone whispering around, i haven’t been able to do much in the lab,” he looked down at his arms, ashamed of his past actions. 

you glanced at him, your gaze meeting his before you felt the need to quickly remove your eyes from him. “oh, okay,” you replied nonchalantly, your tone betraying little emotion.

jongseong blinked at you, unsure of how to proceed. finally taking a seat, he couldn’t help but notice the tantalizing aroma wafting from your lunch. he felt his stomach grumble, a reminder of his own neglected meal. 

“wow, that looks really good,” he remarked, his eyes lingering on the croissant. 

you looked up, a faint smile playing on your lips. “thanks,” your tone softening slightly. “i made it myself.”

you pulled off a small chunk of the croissant, holding it out on your palm for jongseong to take. he stared at it before waving his hands telling you to eat it yourself. 

“i possibly couldn’t,” he said, “you should eat your own lunch.”

however, you were not convinced and continued to hold it out for him. "i insist," you replied, holding it out to him once more.

eventually, he gave into the aroma of the food, taking it and quickly shoving it into his mouth. his eyebrows shot up in surprise as he nodded furiously, unspoken approval of your baking. you noticed how his eyes sparkled with satisfaction, almost letting out a chuckle at his childlike behavior. 

“this is– this is amazing,” he exclaimed, his words slightly muffled. 

“well, it’s all thanks to chemistry,” you explained, a spark of enthusiasm igniting within you. “the role of chemicals and molecules in baking is extremely important,” you leaned in closer, eager to share your knowledge. “take flour, for instance. it's not just a simple ingredient; the complex network of proteins and starches interact in fascinating ways during the baking process. that’s how you can create this croissant right here.” 

jongseong leaned forward, intrigued. "proteins and starches? how do they affect the final product?"

"well," you began, "the proteins in flour, specifically gluten, provide structure to baked goods. when you mix flour with water and knead it, you activate the gluten strands, forming a strong, elastic dough. this elasticity gives bread its chewy texture and allows it to rise during baking." 

as you spoke, you couldn't help but notice jongseong's genuine interest, his eyes alight with curiosity. no one has ever been this interested in listening to you – other than your brother. encouraged by his engagement, you continued to talk more about your dishes, even handing him your egg tart to prove the science of cooking. 

jongseong nodded along, his curiosity piqued. "i never realized there was so much science behind baking," he admitted, a hint of awe in his voice.

"it's fascinating, isn't it?" you replied, a smile gracing your lips. "the chemistry of cooking is just as intricate as any lab experiment. it's about understanding the underlying principles and applying them in creative ways."

amidst the lingering silence, jongseong's unexpected question caught you off guard. "so, i was wondering…  what were you trying to research?" he asked, his tone sincere but tinged with careful curiosity. 

you arched an eyebrow, wary of his sudden interest. "what's it to you?" you replied, a hint of defensiveness creeping into your voice.

jongseong's expression became more timid as he explained, "well, i believe you're a capable chemist, and i could use some help with my own research."

a suddenly surge of anger welled up within you, hot and fierce. had your lively discussion with jongseong been nothing more than a calculated maneuver to lower your defenses? was he merely seeking to extract valuable research information from you, only to claim it as his own? you should’ve known, from all your experiences trying to make friends, that everyone was bound to try to use you. they never saw you as a companion. 

“miss (___)....?” he waved a hand in front of you, eyebrows furrowed with worry. 

"you've never even seen me in the lab," you pointed out, a touch of frustration coloring your words. "you thought i was just a secretary, not a scientist. how do i know you're not just trying to take advantage of me?"

jongseong's brow furrowed, his confusion evident. "no, why would i do that?" he protested, genuine surprise in his voice.

"are you serious right now?" you snapped, your frustration bubbling to the surface. "why would you suddenly want my help in the lab? just to swoop in and take credit for my work?"

jongseong's eyes widened in genuine surprise. "no, that's not it at all," he protested, his tone pleading. "i genuinely believe we could work well together, and i want to give you the credit you deserve."

you paused, considering his words for a moment before relenting. "okay, fine," you sighed, "i’'m studying abiogenesis."

jongseong's eyes narrowed as a spark of suspicion ignited within him. "abiogenesis? that's what i'm researching too," he stated, his voice tinged with accusation. "did you go into my lab trying to steal my research? is that why you were in there?"

his words hit you like a slap in the face, igniting a firestorm of anger within you. he was so kind a few seconds ago, and now he's accusing you of trying to steal research from him. how dare he insinuate such a thing? the audacity of his accusation sent a surge of indignation coursing through your veins.

with a mixture of disbelief and frustration, you shot back, "are you serious right now? do you honestly believe i would stoop so low as to steal your research? that's absurd and insulting!"

your voice rose with each word, echoing off the sterile walls of the lunch room. everyone around you turned their heads, curious at the sudden burst of sound. you felt eyes burning at the back of your head, yet you could care less. all you could think about was beating park jongseong up.

"but you just admitted you're studying abiogenesis," jongseong countered, his tone defensive yet tinged with uncertainty.

you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. "so what? just because we're both studying the same thing doesn't mean i'm out to steal your work. if anything, i could help you with your research, but clearly, that's not what you want."

your frustration boiled over, your words laced with an edge of sarcasm. "congratulations, jongseong, you've managed to push away the one person who could have helped you."

as you packed up your lunch, you pushed your chair back with a sharp screech, shooting him a glare before briskly walking away.

jongseong slumped in his seat, weariness etched into every line of his features. his brow furrowed in frustration, annoyance simmering beneath the surface as he replayed the confrontation with you in his mind. the weight of his desperation hung heavy in the air as he realized just how close he had come to securing someone to assist with his research.

next.

-----------------------------------

tagged: @sophiko22 @minseongsworld @enha-stars

[sageryuri]

TIGHTLY, PARK JONGSEONG.

pairing park jongseong + reader.

genre angst.

summary he’s there for you when you need him most.

word count 0.3k.

warnings sad jay, sad everyone.

an it takes me yonks to finish my main projects so a few little drabbles won’t hurt :))

You apologise profusely to your friend as he holds you against his body, trying his best to calm down your shallow breaths now that the tears are beginning to stop dripping from your eyes and onto his knitted sweater.

"Don't say sorry, you've got nothing to be sorry for. I'm always going to be here to take care of you, you know that." He lifts his hand to soothe you, placing a barely noticeable kiss onto your forehead, "Deep breaths. It's all going to be okay."

Jay's heart aches when he realises this moment won't last forever, that he can't keep living the dream that you're his. Not even the way you grip onto his other hand can help him get his hopes up, because that hand has touched another man who he wishes the worst upon every waking moment.

Your boyfriend may have been the most insufferable person Jay had ever had the displeasure of meeting. He was rude, selfish and overall Jay's least favourite person to exist. It was no surprise he found it so difficult to comprehend why you were so infatuated with him.

"I should leave him shouldn't I? Be honest with me Jongie." You manage to mutter out against his chest, reaching to rub away the drying tears on your face. The way you look up at him with a pout and wet doe eyes makes him take in a breath.

"He isn't good for you. It's your decision to make but no one likes seeing you so distraught because of him. I don't like seeing you like this." He replies, finally bringing himself to be honest with you after all this time — at least as honest as he could be in the moment.

“I know, I know. It’s just so difficult. I feel like I’m stuck in a constant loop with him and I can’t get out of it. I’m sorry you have to deal with me every time this happens, you’re a good friend.” Jay is happy your face is still shoved into his sweater because he’s crying too.

He hates when you cry, he hates when you come running to him, he hates that he’ll never be the one you want.

[filmbyjy]

MINESTREAM

SYPNOSIS > Wanting to start a new stream series with his best friends, Jay had a bright idea of playing some simple Minecraft with them. Everything was normal, until he realises there is another person in the call with them. He quickly learns that it was ni-ki’s older sister, (name). Watch how streaming a simple game of Minecraft can dig up some interesting feelings between the main leads.

EIGHT – asscrack

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

a/n: the inspiration behind jake’s little world naming…that was the first word that popped into my head. don’t ask why. I’d like to know too.

finally after so long with multiple technical issues on jay’s end, the minecraft series could officially start. he could hear jake and ni-ki just chatting about the free online soccer game they found on steam. his eyes gazed the mute button right beside your username. the other boys had turned on their cameras in discord while you and angel(Yvette) didn’t.

he hasn’t once heard your voice. well, he could barely hear your voice since he shut ni-ki’s stream off earlier due to the boys attempting to catch something. he only heard your giggle once and that was it. nonetheless, in that short moment he thought you sounded adorable. his heart drumming in his chest, wondering how your voice would sound like.

he shook his head and clicked on the stream button. as per usual, he puts on a waiting screen to tell the viewers that ‘hey, we’re going to play soon. please wait.’

he unmutes in the discord, “hey, everything has been set up. I just wanna ask what should the server name be?”

“asscrack.” jake suggests as he looks up from his computer and directly into the camera.

“what?” heeseung speaks up as he was caught off guard by the weird name.

“I don’t know, don’t ask me. I’m shit at giving names to things.” jake shrugs. the other boys deadpanned at him.

“let’s name it…sunoo and the boys.” sunoo suggests.

“as if. just put the default ‘My World’ that’s the easiest. not a single hassle to the world.” jungwon adds.

“Alphas.” sunghoon voices out.

“uhh, have you forgotten there are two girls here?” ni-ki says.

“well, who cares about that. Women can be dominant too.” sunghoon shrugs.

jay sighs, “I’m just going to call it MineStream.”

“lame ass name.” jake says. jay turns on his camera on discord and zooms in the camera to his face. he gave jake a death stare and so jake awkwardly laughs it off.

“okay, you scare me. I’m sorry.” jake pouts.

as for you, the moment jay opened his facecam. your eyes widened, a tiny gasp left your throat. since no one could see/hear your reaction due to you being muted and your camera was turned off, you were basically in shock. that man is most beautiful man you’ve ever seen.

the way his eyebrow raises as the rectangle glasses suited his face. he was just in a simple black shirt and his jet black hair was parted prettily. good lord. you were going to play with him? you were going to play with all these pretty boys?? oh lord.

“okay, the world is loading so wanna do the intro when we all load into the world?” jay asks.

“yeah, we should. we have new guests here and we have to introduce the fans too!” sunghoon says.

“alright, I’ve already loaded in. I sent the world invite into the discord. by the way, there are mods that I added to make the game more interesting.” jay says.

“the only interesting thing we should try to do is do hardcore mode or like a ‘if one person dies, everyone dies’ kinda thing.” sunoo suggests.

“we could do that for another time.”

you had clicked on the link and waited to load into the world. since ni-ki helped to create your account, you could easily go in and of course he was your first friend in the game. you had finally clicked turned on the camera in discord and so everyone could see you. you weren’t exactly streaming but you were recording for a video since ni-ki suggested that putting up videos onto YouTube also generates money. once everything was settled, jungwon claps his hand and starts off with the intro.

“hello everyone, today we are-” ni-ki’s character punches jungwon’s as he was talking. “ni-ki!”

“whoops misclick.” ni-ki says. jungwon rolls his eyes.

“today we are playing minecraft! woo!!”

“the premise of how this started. jay hyung wanted to do a series together that was nostalgic and so we decided to go with minecraft because who doesn’t love minecraft!” sunoo says.

“besides our normal friend group, we have two other people on here! let’s welcome angel and (name)!”

“hello hello.” angel says. her little vtuber character moves and tracks her movement.

“woah, cool character, angel. it’s really pretty.” sunoo says.

“oh, thank you.” angel smiles. everyone’s attention was now on you.

“oh umm, hi. I’m (name). I’m ni-ki’s older sister.” you waved towards the camera. everyone was mesmerised (excluding heeseung and ni-ki), you were beautiful.

“good god.” jake says.

“you have a very sexy voice. would love to hear that all night-” sunghoon gets cut off.

“sunghoon hyung, i will find a way to ban you from this server.” ni-ki warns him.

you giggled and jay’s heart melts. god, he’s a simp but he can’t show that…his facecam was turned on. jay turns to read a couple of his comments. most of them were simping for you. kinda made him jealous, not going to lie. plus, it didn’t help that jay had this overlay thing where whoever talked, it would display the person’s facecam (if turned on) from discord to his livestream.

— “she’s so pretty.”

— “wow, she’s so…no wonder she’s ni-ki’s older sister. the family genes are so strong.”

“let’s just start playing. gather resources everyone.” jay says.

and so everyone does. each of them collected wood, from the trees. you sat there looking clueless and so jay comes up to you in game.

“something wrong?” he asks.

“oh, sorry. this is my first time playing minecraft so I have zero clue how to do things.”

“want me to guide you?”

“sure.”

jay happily guides you on how to play the game, from punching wood to making crafting benches and finally making tools. jay turns to read the comments for a bit,

— “woah, what is this visual couple going on?”

— “yoooo, they would look cute together! like wow.”

jay was satisfied by the comments. he can’t help but look at your facecam, your concentrated face as you mined for stone and attempted to make stone weapons.

“hyung!” jungwon whacks jay’s character. it causes him to turn around.

“did you have to hit me.” jay deadpans.

“whoops, anyways. ni-ki and sunoo found a cave. I don’t remember minecraft caves being fucking huge.”

“there was a huge update I believe 1-2 years ago so yes, huge cave.”

“they also found a mob spawner with saddles in the chest and jake hyung stole them to try and get horses.”

jay sighs, “can’t say I’m not surprised.”

“are you and (name) noona flirting?” jungwon suddenly asks. it causes you and jay and to look at each other in game before turning to jungwon.

“no? he’s just teaching me how to play minecraft.”

“yeah, she doesn’t know much about the game so what better way then to teach her?”

“don’t believe it one bit. next thing you know, we will have a couple in a minecraft server who share a house together, sleep together and have cats and dogs together.”

— “oooo, jungwon is onto something.”

“the comments are agreeing with me.” jungwon smirks.

“shut the fuck up, my friend.” jay shoos jungwon away. the younger boy runs off to find sunghoon, who wants currently getting chased by a creeper.

jay sticks by you throughout the whole thing, he gives you tips and even hands you some stuff.

“we are making a community.” heeseung says.

“and why?”

“because with 9 people on this server, all the resources are going to be sucked up. also I am not sharing a house with any of you. especially, (name). she’ll make the house with pink wood.”

“there’s pink wood?” you say.

“there is, you just need to find a cherry blossom biome.” jay explains.

“why are you helping her?” heeseung asks.

“because she doesn’t know how to play and I’m just being a gentleman since you guys aren’t helping her, clearly.”

jake bursts out laughing, “I’m sorry but this is the first time I see you being so gentlemanly to a woman.”

“do you want me to set myself into creative so I can blow up your shit dirt house.” jay threatens.

“go ahead, I feel like renovating it anyways. just let me move my stuff first-”

sunoo quietly hands jay some tnt and a flint and steel. before jake could even grabbing his things from the chest. jay covers his base with the tnt and ignites it. it hisses.

“(name), I suggest you run if you don’t wanna blow up.” jay warns.

“oh.” you quickly dashed out of the way and the explosion was massive. it causes sunghoon to yell.

“I had a pet dog in there…” jake says.

“too bad, mess with me again and I’ll burn your next house.” jay says.

jake definitely learnt his lesson of not teasing jay during this session.

-

taglist[open]: @bldelaine @velvtcherie @shalkeren @kgneptun @yenqa @dammit-jjk @sionshiii @enhaz1 @mrchweeee @ncityzenz @autumn583 @okokok4 @ariadores @n1k1mura @kwiwin @drunkdazeded @justkatey @thatsroug @auesoooo @bunchofroses07 @j4ysluv @heeseungwifeyyy @smouches @bubblytaetae @dimplewonie @brachioanton @blackhairandbangs @heestrawberries @amesification @rizzshimura @y4wnjunz @rainyjy @pkjay @simjyunnie @imtoanonymousforyou @jungwoneez @jeongingf1 @astrae4 @heartswonn @pinkishyngs @heeseungsbabyy @in-somnias-world @ramenoil @wantmatthew @leehanascent @kayyssw @allisonleannn @kim2005bomi @saurxcream @urmomssneakylink @zyvlxqht @honeyboobear @ddazed-lhs @bee-the-loser @sunkislove @eleanorheartschishiya @jayjongie @woninluv @artstaeh @jwnghyuns @junissy

(want to be added into the taglist? just send an ask or fill up this short form here!)

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟐𝟖

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩 (𝟐)

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟔.𝟔𝐤 (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲)

↬ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐯𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 "𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲", 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐣𝐚𝐲, 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐩𝐢𝐞

↬ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥'𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐄𝐎.

It takes Jay a whole hour to get up and tug you into bed.

No matter how badly he wants to hold you in his arms a little longer, because this will be the first and last time, he knows you need your rest. Your body, your mind and your heart are too exhausted to handle any more of his stupid bullshit, the least he could do is to actually let you get some proper sleep and not be selfish for once.

Just like last time, Jay takes off your shoes and gives you one last kiss on the head and after contemplating for quite a while, he allows himself the luxury of staying in your room instead of leaving. He allows himself to grief the possible moments and memories he could have made with you just a little longer. Just a few more minutes of you belonging to him.

As his eyes roam your pretty features, Jongseong feels this certain type of relief filling his aching chest because he might have hurt you by telling you the truth right after confessing, but at the end of the day he's just glad he pulled through and stayed true to himself.

All his life he had to watch his failure of a father build everything he owns, everything he is on nothing but a bunch of lies and once he's realised just how bad it is, Jay has always promised himself to be nothing but truthful no matter what it is about.

As harsh as this may sound, he'd rather break your heart and lose you by telling you the truth than lie and keep you by his side. You deserve nothing but the best – his best and Jong's determined to be just that, even if you rightfully decided to cut him out of your life.

The longer he looks at you, the more he realises how there's never, ever been anyone like you to him before. He's definitely had girlfriends he genuinely liked and appreciated, yet none of them made him feel the way you do.

Every time he thinks about you, he tries to understand why he feels the way he does, only to realise that maybe it's because you're his person. As simple as that.

He still remembers all the conversations with his mother about how everyone in this world has their very own person and up until now, Jay never thought he'd find his own in this lifetime, yet here you are.

Maybe he's not yours and that's okay. He'll still wait for you for the rest of his life because maybe one day you'll forgive him and change your mind.

And until the day he has to accept his defeat, he'll cling onto the few bits of hope left in his heart.

After almost twenty hours of being awake, the exhaustion and tiredness finally gets the best of him as well, yet his will to stay with you just a little bit longer is stronger than that.

And as his lids slowly start feeling heavier, he feels himself slipping into a rather light sleep, only for your little noises of desperation and fear to pull him right out of it again.

At first Jay doesn't underatand what's happening. With worried eyes he starts scanning your face, your pretty features contorted in pain and fear as tears stream down your temples and the only thing to fall past your lips being incoherent cries for help. It takes him a whole minute to realise you're dreaming; his brain barely registering the fact that your eyes are still firmly pressed shut and before he can overthink it for another second, Jong reaches for your face and gently starts chanting your name.

As your words finally start becoming more understandable, his heart breaks into tousands of pieces when the realisation hits him.

You're currently stuck in a nightmare of your childhood abuse, the cries for your mother's help and pleads for your brothers to just please stop and how much it hurts echoing in the empty space of your bedroom.

Jong feels his whole body freeze with pain at the realisation. He knew things weren't good, yet he could have never phantom just how bad they were. The way you're squirming and flinching away as your sobs and cries grow heavier break his heart and hurt his soul in ways he's never experienced it before. You seem so helpless, so desperate, so hurt and in pain. Jongseong can't help but wonder how you manage to hide all this agony from the world with those sweet smiles and gentle eyes, treating everyone around you with the kindest heart when you've had to go through so much to the point it's hunting you in your dresms up until now.

But before he can actually lose himself in his anger, Jong now takes your face into both of his hands and picks up the volume of his voice, basically trying to speak over you in an attempt to make you hear him.

To his luck, it doesn't take more then two calls of your name for you to finally open your eyes and look at him with nothing but fear in your usually so calm gaze.

And as your brain slowly manages to distinguish the horrors of your nightmare from actual reality, you feel the gentleness of protection and safety take over your nerves as soon as you recognize the face in front of you.

"J-Jay?"

Within just a second, all those traumatic memories and mental images disappear from your brain, leaving you with an aching gap knnyour chest yet a sweet feeling of relief overwhelming you right after once you make your way back to reality.

"What is – What happened? Where am I? What are you doing here?"

You seem genuinely confused, your eyes roaming his face first before they start scanning and inspecting the room. Jay knows you won't recognize where you are and in fear of the lack of familiarity making your emotional state worse, he quickly tried to regain your attention.

"We're in my apartment in Busan. This isn't your home. You fell asleep in my arms so I put you to bed and stayed here to make sure you're okay.You had a nightmare but everything is okay now, you're safe."

Jay maintains the eye contact and makes sure you hear every single one of his words loud and clearly. He tries his very best to stay calm snd collected knowing you need him like that now, yet the more tears starts streaming down your cheeks, the more his heart hurts.

He fucked up and the thought of having to leave you alone and deal with all of this on your own feels suffocating. All he wants is for his pretty girl to feel good and be safe.

Jay waits for your response, only for jolts of panic to rush through his body as he notices how you're zoning out with your eyes firmly set on his chest.

"Hey", this time he's not as hesitant with the volume of his voice, "eyes on me, Baby. Come on, come back to me, please."

He can only imagine how desperate he sounds but he simply has no choice and it's not like he actually cares.

With a breath he's been holding on for the past who knows how long, Jay gets on the bed to be on eye level with you, he lets out a loud sigh of relief when you finally meet his gaze.

"There you go, good girl", he whispers, not sure if you're actually comfortable with his choice of words, "hi, there."

The gentleness in Jay's usually so stern voice as well as the slightly fearful smile on his lips makes your heart hammer even faster against your rib cage. Sitting in front of him, so close to his strong body with his big hands holding your face so carefully feels nothing but surreal. You've been daydreaming and fantasizing about being taken care of by him like this for weeks, yet it doesn't take long for your brain to bring back the reason for the aching in your chest in the first place.

Of course Jongseong is too attentive, too careful to miss the subtle yet sudden change in your facial expressions, quickly making him pull his hands away from you right before he puts a bit of physical distance between you both no matter how much it hurts his heart.

"I'm sorry", he whispers and looks away, too ashamed to look at you, "I'll leave now. If you want to fly back to Seoul I'll tell my pilot to get the jet ready and please, just keep everything you've received from the company. I'll make sure to write you a commendation and send you a list of partners who trust my words and will basically fight for you."

It definitely takes you a good minute to reallse what he's actually saying and with your brows furrowed in confusion, you allow yourself to analyse his body language.

And as soon as you try to look into his eyes, only for Jay to avoid it shamefully, you realise that he seems scared.

"What are you saying, Jongseong?", your voice is raspy and hoarse, having yet to recover from your nightmare.

"I'm holding myself accountable for my behavior and assumed you wanted to leave and never hear anything from me or TPC ever again", he replies nervously, his hand finding its through his dark hair as he still avoids looking at you, "or were my assumptions about your departure from the company wrong?"

"Yes."

Different than he could have ever expected, you don't seem hesitant or unsure. To his genuine surprise, you're actually quite quick with and confident in your response and yet for some reason, his brain doesn't allow himself to actually feel relief yet.

Maybe you'll stay at the company but not by his side. There are many other chiefs you could work for after all, starting with his best friends all the way down that long list.

"Do you want me to hold a meeting with the other chiefs to see who'd like to hire you?"

You don't know why but there's this little voice in the back of your head which simply refuses to be mad at him. You do feel betrayed and hurt, yet not an ounce of anger or madness have filled your chest the way one would have expected it to happen.

"Jongseong, no", you sigh and run both of your hands over your face before looking back up at him.

"What you did isn't fucking okay", it takes you a lot more courage to form the actual sentences in your brain, yet the urge to finally speak your mind and have some of it leave your head is stronger than your fear of rejection, "and it's going to take me some time to get over this but I – I want to stay."

As his brain processes your word, Jongseong tries his very best to maintain his composure but he physically can't stop his lips from stretching into a soft smile of relief.

"Thank you, Y/N", Jay whispers softly, "I promise something like this won't ever happen again."

"Yeah, I hope so", you mumble and start fumbling with your rings, "because if it does you won't ever see me again. No matter who you send after me, I'll get rid of them all and become your biggest nightmare."

Your threat is rather lighthearted but still serious enough for Jay to hold his breath until he feels the warmth of your touch on his cheek. Without an ounce of hesitation, he moves further into it, his heart calming down at the sweet relief of this burden finally being lifted from his shoulders.

"What else have you – uhm – found out?", you ask shyly yet still caressing his cheek with your thumb and you can already hesr the scoldings of your friends for your decisions and behavior but unfortunately you can't get yourself to care enough.

There's nobody who's ever gone out of his way to do what he's done and some people won't understand your reaction and that's okay. To you it just makes sense. Jongseong might not have said it verbally but you're aware just how well he knows you, which explains – not excuses – his decisions. You would have never told him about the decade long abuse, too ashamed snd embarrassed of how much it's effected you.

You know it's never been your fault but telling someone about you literally become your brothers' favorite punchbag over the years just never felt appropriate.

And the fact he did it to take your revenge warms the weirdest parts in your heart, something you can't really explain. You don't know what it feels to be cared about like this by a man and to some it may be accepting toxicity and a so called "red flag" but to you its a human mistake and you actually trust Jong enough for this to be a one time thing.

You'd also be the biggest liar and hypocrite if you denied how badly you wanted them to suffer just a little bit. Too much pent up frustration, anger and hatred hiding in the depths of your usually so soft and kind heart. Yes, hurting them won't heal your scars or your inner child, but it'll finally give you the power and control back they took from you all those years ago.

Jongseong attentively watches the way you seem to contemplate your following words, but never once halting the movement of your thumb. The urge to lay his head on your lap and have you play with his hair becomes more and more unbearable.

"I don't talk to any of them anymore besides the youngest", you sigh and lean your back against the bed frame, "and he usually just slutshames and then demands money from me so I have no idea what they've been up to these past three years."

"You won't like what they've been up to", Jongseong replies calmly and starts scratching his neck as the next wave of nervousness hits his system, "because it not only includes them but your father as well."

At the mention of the man who oh so happens to be the main reason for all those years of horror and terror, you can't help but let the anger take over you.

With your brows furrowed in irritation you're quick to let Jongseong know exactly what you think.

"That fucking loser is not my father", you spit and don't even realise how loud you've gotten as the rushing of blood in your ears easily overshadows everything else.

"I'm sorry, Ba– Y/N", Jongseong says softly, tryibg his best to find a few of his answers in your reaction only to let it go and wait for the right moment, "do you want to know about it anyway?"

You have yet to calm down from your anger ridden high, so all you can do is nod in response to his question.

"They're all still unemployed, deep in their debts and one of them seems to be on the police radar for dealing with drugs", Jay begins and never once looks away from you, "I sent three of my men to watch over them because I'm afraid one of them is going to try and come here to find you. Even if not, I'd just rather have them babysat to make sure you're safe."

Jay's just as careful about this one as he is with the other information because he simply has no idea what you're currently thinking.

He just doesn't want you to change your mind but also keep things as real as possible. There's no point in lying to you when he's told you most of the truth already.

"W-What?"

For some weird reason, you feel your heart healing at his words. Your brain is trying to process the actual information, meanwhile your chest's started filling with warmth and comfort only Jongseong has ever been able to provide you with.

Ever since you've decided to move to the big capital city, you've subconsciously worried and feared your brothers would somehow make the effort to come here and look for you; something you couldn't have prevented no matter how hard you'd try. Knowing this was the very first thing Jay had decided to so feels relieving, to say the least. For the first tkme in your life you feel a genuine wave of relief hit you.

Sleeping in your own home, walking around in the streets, gping to work and just living your life finally won't consists of constantly having to look over your shoulder or scan the room to make sure they're not around you.

"That's–", "I'll have my men back in Seoul within a few hours if you don't agree with this. Please, Y/N, I just – I really just want to protect you. Tell me what to do and I'll turn the world upside down for you."

Now, neither one of you expected a confession like that and despite the way jolts of arousal start rushing through your body and stright in between your legs, you can't help but chuckle softly in response to his words.

"How the tables have turned", you say cheekily and feel the last bits of tension leaving your system as you reach for his hand and start playing with his pretty fingers, "I appreciate this, Jongie. It might not be the most ethical thing to do but I don't trust them, so keep your men where they are."

"Your wish is my command, angel girl", Jongseong smiles but quickly bites his tongue when he realises yet another pet name has slipped past his lips.

"Don't", as if you managed to read his mind, you stop him before he can even take his next breath, "I like it."

Without saying amything, Jay simply nods and clears his throat, your slight change in demeanor driving him absolutely crazy because it's taking every bit of willpower in his chest to stop himself from getting on his knees and begging you to use him for your own pleasure for as long as you see fit.

"What about that loser? What's he been up to?"

To this, Jong just sighs and takes a row of deep breaths. He's been thinking about ways to tell you about this for the past few days yet none of them seem good enough to ease you into it. Maybe there's just no way to talk about a person like him without possible damage.

"He somehow found money and booked a flight to Seoul", he begins and never once aberts his gaze from your face, "one of my best has been following him and making sure there's absolutely no way he could find or run into you. We haven't physically intervened yet but he's persistent. He's in deep debts with a few random guys who are looking for him so he probably thought fleeing here and finding you is going to solve his problem."

"That fucking bastard", you hiss and start rubbing your temples, a nasty headache announcing itself slowly and all you want to do is take a long shower snd then sleep for at least two days.

These past few hours feel like months and if it wasn't for all the emptions mixing in your body in this particular moment, you would have been convinced that everything's just a big dream.

"Let him find me, I'm finally tall enough to fight back", you press through gritted teeth and swallow your tears of anger and frustration, "and tell your man not to hesitate or go easy on him if he ever puts his hand on him. That man is just...he's not a good person, Jongie."

You don't even notice the thick veil of tears blurring your vision until they leave burning trails on your cheeks and with a soft sob you bury your face in your hands as the all those painful memories find their way back into your head.

Jongseong's quick to pull you into his arms, loving the way you don't even hesitate to press your face into his ches and yourself further into his embrace. The fact he seems to give you some sort of comfort leaves him speechless.

Nothing could have prepared him for this night. The confessions, your reactions, your raw emotions, the constang skinship, everything about tonight feels surreal to the business man and yet he knows holding you in his arms like this could never, ever be a dream.

"I know, Baby", he whispers softly, guiding you onto his lap right before he leans back against the headboard with a soft sigh, "I'll make them regret everything they've ever done to you. Whatever it takes, whatever it costs, I'm going to make them pay for every ounce of pain they've caused you."

Jay subconsciously toghtens his grip on your soft waist, pulling you even tighter against his chest and as he provides you with the sweetest feeling of comfort and safety you've ever felt, your brain suddenly shifts things into the complete opposite direction.

"Jongie?" Your voice is a mere whisper when you lift your head to meet his gaze, his eyes oozing of exhaustion and tiredness and yet you've never seen someone as beautiful as him.

"Yes, angel girl?", he quickly responds, to eager to hear your every wish, "tell me whatever you desire, let me lay the world to your feet the way you deserve."

With your bottom lip firmly pulled between your teeth, you place your hands flat against his strong chest? caressing his skin through the rather thin fabric of his dress shirt right before letting one of them find its way underneath it.

A soft, yet inaudible grunt rumbles through Jay's chest at the feeling of your warmth against his skin, something he's been daydreaming about for way too long.

"Y/N", it's more of a whimper yet at this point Jongseong can't get himself to actually give a fuck.

"Please", he begs softly, "I don't want to hurt or take advantage of you, of your pain", Jay can't even get himself to look at you as the plea leaves his lips, the feeling of your warm cunt seeping through the fabric of your panties and for the nth time in the past few months he finds himself cursing your love for shirts as tiny as the one you're currently wearing.

"I want you to make me forget, Jongie", you reply softly, your as you feel yourself slipping into a headspace you haven't experienced before and if it wasn't for Jay's hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin of your neck, you would have mistaken this for just another one of your dirty dreams.

But this is real.

This is actually happening.

You're sitting in your boss's lap, his hard cock firmly pressed against your clothed pussy, his face buried in the crook of your neck and his lips placing the softest open mouthed kisses on the heated skin.

"What if you regret this?" Jongseong doesn't hold back his worries and doubts because his brain simply won't let him.

So much happened in the past three hours and the fesr of actually losing you if he gives in to these urges is overwhelming him.

"Never", you whimper and slowly start grinding against the bulge in his slacks, his zipper hitting your sensitive clit with each movement and by the time your fingers find home in his thick hair, you can barely hold back your whimpers.

"Are you su–", but you don't let him finish another row of worried words as you pull his head back by his hair and almost instinctively press your lips against his.

It takes Jongseong way too long what the fuck is actually happening but as soon as he gets the tiniest of taste, every single rule he had set for himself all those weeks ago is thrown out the window and the only thing to consume his senses is you.

With a soft grunt he gently takes your dace into both of his hands to deepen the kiss, pulling your jaw down just the tiniest bit to push his tongue into your mouth and finally lose himself in what he's been dreaming for way too long.

The kiss is messy, sloppy even. It's uncoordinated and rushed, there's nothing soft or gentle about it. Every single raw emotion and the deepest hunger are being conveyed in the way your lips move against his, leaving the both of you completely breathless within seconds.

You physically can't get yourself to pull away despite slowly feeling lightheaded, too needy, too hungry for more. Too afraid that maybe you'll wake up the next moment for it to turn into ntohing but an illusion.

But as Jay grunts and moans into your mouth, you feel alive. Every single time he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, you can't help but whimper loudly, the wet spot in the center of your panties growing with each kiss.

"Now", Jong suddenly grunts, "I need you now, Baby."

All you can do is nod desperately in agreement.

"I promise next time I'm gonna eat your pretty cunt for hours before I fuck you but I really need to be inside of you now." His promise has your cunt clenching around nothing and set your whole body on fire as he quickly pulls your shirt over your head and gets rid of your pretty little bra within the next second.

Jongseong doesn't even bother taking off your skirt, just pushing it up until your cute pussy is revealed to his hungry eyes and all of a sudden a wave of embarrassment washes over you.

"Now now", he suddenly chuckles and wraps his big hand around your throat to lift your head and look into your eyes, "no need to get all shy on me now, Baby. I've been fantasising about this for way too long. You're perfect."

"J-Jongie", is all you can make out as you bury your face in his neck and start grinding against the bulge in his pants yet again.

But you don't get to lose yourself in the seeet feeling of his clothed cock as Jong suddenly pushes you onto the mattress right just to get comfortable between your thighs.

"This is the most beautiful sight I've ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on", he whispers and kneads the soft felsh of your inner thighs before he starts drawing little lines on your cunt through the fabric of your underwear.

You're way too gone at this point; too far gone, too impatient, too needy.

And Jongseong loves it.

"Let's take these off, hm?" Of course he doesn't wait for your answer as he starts pulling your panties doen your thighs, yet stopping mid-motion as his eyes take in the pretty sight of your perfect cunt.

"There she is", he whispers and gently caresses your tummy right before he wraps his hand around one of your sensitive tits, softly teasing the perked nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, "and she's all mine, right, Baby?"

"Yes, Jongie", you moan and arch your back to move further into his touch, your grip on the bed sheets tigtening with each flick of his dingers to the point you can't even notice the feeling of your juices leaking out of your clenching hole.

"Use those big girl words for me, angel", Jay sighs softly and starts unbuttoning your skirt as soon as he tosses your ruined panties to the side, knowing he'll probably keep those as his very own, personal treasure later on.

Your brain barely processes his words, everything seems too cloudy, the haze of arousal too thick for your consciousness to find its way through it all.

Yet, a deep instinct in the depth of your brain makes responding to him so much easier.

"It's all yours, Jay", your voice breaks into a moan as soon as you feel his thumb pressing against your hardened clit, "my pussy is yours."

"That's my good girl", of course he doesn't hesitate with his praise. How could he ever hold back or be reluctant about letting you know just how good you're being for him when you've made a mess of yourself for him and him only.

"More", you suddenly beg and look up at him with glossy eyes, your hands needily reaching for his as you start moving your hips against the movements of his thumb and with a soft chuckle, Jay decides to leave the teasing for the next time.

He knows how much you need this and he's waited for too long already.

"Anything for my perfect girl", he sighs and unbuttons his own shirt, quickly pushing it down his broad ahoulders before unbuckling his belt and moving away from in between your legs to take his pants, as well as his boxer briefs off.

And despite the thick cloud of pleasure blocking your rational thinking, your eyes widen in shock the moment Jay reveals his hard cock to you.

It feels weird, since he's never been one to feel shy or insecure about himself in any way possible but for some reason he can't help but wonder what you think about him. Maybe he does crave your validation more than he had expected himself to.

"It's so pretty", you whisper and almost instinctively wrap your fingers around his thick cock, "and so big."

Jongseong throws his head back at the aarmth of your hand and the skilled flicks of your wrist as you gently pump his length, using every drop of precum leaking from his sensitive skin as lubricant and if it wasn't for his initial goal, he would have probably made a mess of your chest by now.

"B-Baby", he grunts and harshly grabs your wrist to halt your movements, "I – won't last long if you keep that up. Need to be inside of that cute cunt right now or I'll cum all over those perfect tits and it'd be such a waste, don't you think?"

You nod softly, your lips stretching into a playful grin as you let go of his cock and look at him with expecting eyes.

"I wanna ask something", you say shyly, your eyes shamelessly roaming the dark lines of ink on Jong's toned torso, subconsciously wondering what they might stand for and wishing to draw over them with your fingers for hours.

"Go ahead, Baby, your wish remains my command till the very end."

His words give you just enough reassurance to let go of worries and doubts as well as possible overthinking and with a deep sigh, you try your best to find the right words.

"Is it too much to ask for you to fuck me raw? I want you to cum inside of me."

"F-Fuck, Baby, you're going to be the death of me", Jongseong throws his head back with a loud groan as his grip on your thighs tightens.

"I'm on the pill and I haven't had sex in months but if you don't want to because you don't like it or don't trust–", "Don't finish that sentence, angel girl. I've never trusted anyone as much as you. Please believe me when I say I never fuck without condoms and get myself tested regularly. Do you still want me to?"

He might not say it out loud but you know who he is referring to and you can't even hide how happy it makes you to know that mone of those other women have ever felt the actual him.

"Yes, please", you whine and reach in between your bodies for his thick cock, lining the tip up with your entrance after making sure he's coated in your juices, not realising how much patience and will control it's taking the young business man to maintain his composure.

"F-Fuck, you're so wet for me, Baby", Jongie grunts and reaches for your hands to intertwine his fingers with yours, placing them right next to your head before he pulls you into a needy kiss and easily knocking the last bits of oxygen out of your lungs.

"Only for you, J-Jongie", you whisper against his lips and patiently wait for him to just please move, yet your patience running a little thinner than expected.

"Tell me if it hurts, yeah, Baby? You gotta use those words for me", you're quick to nod, your eyes rolling into the back of your head the moment he pushes the thick tip of his cock into your tight cunt.

"Eyes on me", Jay grunts and tries to regulate his breathing, yet failing miserably as his body goes into overdrive from the intensity of his arousal.

That's probably why he's a lot less hesitant than expected as he pushes his cock deeper into the tightness of your cute pussy as soon as your gaze meets his.

And Jay would be the biggest fucking liar if he ever tried to deny how good you feel. You're basically sucking him into you, adjusting to his impressive size way easier and faster than he had worried about and by the time he's halfway inside of you, neither one of you seems to hold back any noises anymore.

A mixture of your own, high pitched moans and his deep, guttural groans filling the thick air of the bedroom and for a moment you're convinced he's already reached your stomach.

Maybe it was your arousal clouded brain yet nothing could have prepared you for the feeling of being filled to the brim as soon as Jay finally bottoms out.

His tip gently grazes the entrance of your womb, your spongy walls gripping his thick cock like a god damn vice and it's then that Jay finally loses the last bit of composure he had left.

"Are you – Are you okay? Does it hurt? Talk to Da– me, talk to me, Baby", Jongseong feels his cock throbbing inside of you as his brain processes how he almost slipped up into forbidden territory, but fortunately you're both too fucked out already to pay much attention to it.

He'll definitely bring this up as soon as possible but not tonight. It's all about you right now, he'd be a selfish fucker for pushing you into his deepest fantasies in your lost vulnerable state.

"So full", you whimper and let your eyes roll into the back of your head, arching your back in hopes of receiving the timiest bit of pressure on your overly sensitive nub of nerves.

"Too much?"

"N-No", you hiss and dig your nails into his strong back, "please, Jongie. Need you to fuck me."

And just as he's been saying it all night, he's not one to deny his pretty girl any wishes.

Jay slowly starts pulling himself out of your, hissing ag the feeling of his cock dragging along the warm walls of your sweet cunt.

It actually doesn't take him longer than a minute to find a rhythm which turns you both into moaning messes, your sweet little whimpees and whines meeting his deep grunts and growls in the midst of your heavy breaths.

Jay's strokes are slow and sensual, yet his thrusts are deep and hard, hitting the right spots over and over with every single one of his movements and easily pushing you into the deepest parts of your sweet pleasure.

"Rub that cute clit for me, Baby", Jong grunts and slowly picks up the pace of his thrusts, "make yourself cum all over my cock like the good girl you are. Come on, make me proud."

"Mhm, yes", you whine and do as you're told, only for your whole body to heat up even further the second your fingers touch the hardened nub.

You've never felt pleasure this good before and maybe it's because Jay's been showering you in sweet words of praise and affirmation or maybe it's the way he keeps looking at you like you're the most beautiful, most perfect girl he's ever seen, but regardless of the reason you've already grown addicted to the way he makes you feel.

"J-Jay", you cry softly when the first soft wave of your orgasm hits your body, "want you to cum with me, please."

Your words reach his fuzzy brain in just the right moment and as soon as your cunt starts tightening around his cock, Jongseong feels his sweet relief climbing down his spine and before he can actually utter another word, he gently wraps his hand around your throat and pulls you into another sloppy kiss.

The second his sweet taste coats the muscle of your tongue, the coil in your lower tummy finally snaps and you basically stumble head first into your much needed high.

The following waves of your orgasm are too intense, too heavy for your body to carry, you don't even realise Jay has obediently done as he was told, cumming inside of you and coating the warm wall of your perfect cunt in his cum and your name being the only thing to fall past his lips.

You have absolutely no idea how long it takes you to calm down, the only thing on your mind being Park Jongseong and the feeling of his hands on your skin.

"My good girl", Jay says breathlessly and lifts his head from the crook of your neck to meet your gaze, the sight of his flushed cheeks, glossy eyes, swollen lips and messy hair making the butterflies in your tummy go even crazier.

"Thank you, Jongie", you say gratefully, your voice hoarse from all the moaning and you're actually glad neither one of you seems energetic enough to move a single inch.

"I'm so proud of you, Baby. You took my cock so well, made me feel so fucking good. I've never cum like this before."

His words are – as usual – genuine and honest, sending jolts of warmth and comfort through your body in a way only Jongseong has ever managed to.

"Do you want me to run you a bath, Baby? Let me pamper and baby you just how you deserve after a day like this, hm?"

Despite those being questions, Jay doesn't wait for you to respond as he slowly pulls himself out of you, greedily watching his cum leak out of your tiny hole, only to force himself away from you to acoid a physical reaction neither one of you has the energy to take care of just yet.

Just as he's promised, Jongseong runs you a hot bath, washes and massages your whole body, even finds time to make you cum all over his fingers to reward you for doing so well for him.

By the time he's gently pulling his own shirt over your head, tiny rays of sunshine start shining through the blind, letting you know exactly what time it is but as you push your face into the crook of Jongseong's neck for nth time this night, you can't get yourself to care about anything but him and the way he holds you in his arms.

Maybe this is what home is supposed to feel like and maybe this is what your home feels like.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: and here she is! honestly im super sleepy so pls pls oks excuse the typos i promise i'll proofread and edit tomo! i dont even know what to say besides thank you so much for all the love and support, you guys are the absolute best and i love you sm. sending kisses! and pls, verbal feedback in form of asks, comments or messages are always super appreciated!!!💞🧸)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jjaeyuns @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @jseongies @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @glitterssim @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight

[lilacnini]

— loving mornings

₊˚⊹ notes ~ husband!jayx fem!reader ⋆⭒ warnings: kisses, kids ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 word count: 300+꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆˚ genre: fluff, drabble | AN: literally jay is the definition of a husband and dad material + going through a baby fever (also inspo from an au i read but i forgot which au it was so >: ) | LIBRARY FOR MORE...

"THERE YOU ARE, BABY," you heard Jay's voice, causing you to turn around and find him grinning at you while you organized plates in the kitchen. You couldn't help but smile back as you walked towards him, abandoning your task to hug him tightly.

"I missed you so much, and the kids," you whispered against his neck as Jay gently stroked your hair.

"I missed you too. How was spending time with your parents?" he asked, pulling away to look at your face.

"It was fine. How about you and the kids?" you inquired as Jay tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"It went well. The kids were sobbing for you every night because they missed you so much," Jay replied, eliciting a soft laugh from you. "But I'm glad you're back." He left a soft kiss on your forehead and then trailed down to your jawline, leaving quick kisses that made you squeal with ticklish delight.

You pressed your forehead against Jay's and whispered, "I love you so much. I don't know how I'll survive without you."

"I love you even more," Jay whispered back, leaving a final kiss on your neck. Just then, the sound of your kids running down the stairs filled the air.

"Mommy!" your daughter Aila exclaimed, and you quickly hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. You then turned to your son, Asher, leaving a quick kiss on his cheek.

"I missed you both so much," you whispered, hugging them tightly.

"Did you guys sleep well last night?" Jay asked, brushing through Aila's hair.

"Safe and sound!" Aila exclaimed.

"When did you learn that phrase?" you asked, holding Asher in your arms.

"From Daddy!" Aila's response made you laugh.

"Right, of course, from your daddy," you said, massaging Aila's hand softly. Turning to Asher, you cooed, "How about you, Asher? Did you sleep well?" He nodded, hiding his head in the crook of your neck.

"That's good. How about all of us have a fun family night tonight?" you suggested, causing Aila to jump up and down with excitement, quickly agreeing. As your kids ran upstairs to play, you laughed at their cuteness.

"I guess that's our cue to rest together," you smiled, holding onto Jay's hand softly.

[armysantiny]

To better communication – PJS

P: Jay x female reader | G: drabble/request, hurt/comfort angst, fluff | Inc: overworked reader, head chef Jay, avoidance on y/n' s part, confrontation, Sunwoo (tbz), Jongho (atz), brief anxiety attack, crying, domesticsity, dinner date | Wc: 1.59k | W: anxiety attack, crying, confrontation| R: G

Minnie's notes; sorry for taking forever with this @blonghoonie! I haven't written for enha in a while, I hope this is good!

Some days there never seemed to be a beat missed between y/n and Jay. Words could be left unsaid, and the married couple didn’t have to fill in the blanks. Soft and intimate nights began with laughs and ended with gentle kisses, hushed murmurs of good night and love you ended their day.

But bliss doesn’t last forever, and the tension left an uncomfortable silence in its place.

The ache in y/n’s chest burned as the night dragged on, a vice grip over her heart that kept her silent while she busied herself with late-night emails and work deadlines. The threat of tears lest she take a break kept y/n’s fingers typing, typing, typing. The rat race of corporate life was catching up with her, and y/n didn’t have the heart to face Jay’s concerned glances night after night. He didn’t deserve to worry, not with the stresses of his own job. She was good at her job, she could do this.

And so that night, as she had for the past four weeks, y/n refused to tell Jay what was wrong.

Again, the couple’s night ended with silence. Hurt, misunderstood silence.

Jay couldn’t remember the time he got home, or how he had managed to drag himself into bed, the dinner service from the night prior sapping the last of his energy. Where coming home used to relieve his spirit, the silence and stillness of his shared home only dug deeper into his aching chest.

“Morning…” muttering a greeting that went unanswered apart from an acknowledging hum, Jay swallowed back the hurt, a wounded smile on his face at the sight of his favourite coffee already loaded into the dispenser. Right…of course y/n still loved him, still cared for him, even if he hadn’t heard those vital three words in over four weeks. Looking over, Jay buried his frustrations for the nth time as he went about making his own breakfast.

Despite being attentive during prep and adjusting the dinner service menu as needed, Jay’s mind had been somewhere else entirely. He was distracted from work, from everything but the festering ache in his chest. His train of thought be damned, but the head chef couldn’t get himself out of the mental spiral, no matter how hard he tried.

And y/n wasn’t faring any better either.

Trembling out of exhaustion as she pushed through work and ignored the concerned glances sent her way by concerned co-workers, y/n knuckled down at her desk. Her workload seemed to never end. And with no one else in the same corporate position – not that others, like Sunwoo or Jongho couldn’t also fill the role – y/n’s hands were stuck with the mountainous workload whether she wanted it or not.

Stuck at her desk long after the end of her shift came and went, y/n waved off co-worker after co-worker until she was alone in the office, a single lone monitor staring right back at her. The ever-growing hopelessness that stayed in the corners of her own mind was clawing at her throat, dragging y/n into a downward spiral as she mindlessly typed word after word.

And then her phone rang.

“Can I help you?”

“Y/n love…it’s me,” her heart dropped as Jay’s voice rang through the speakers. “Look…it’s getting really late, and I’m worried. Want me to come and pick you up?”

What could she possibly say? How could she possibly face her husband after weeks of shutting him out? Silent as the words refused to leave the confines of her throat, y/n’s head began to fill with white noise, the world drowning out. The exhaustion, the anxieties, the guilt; it was all crashing down.

“…breathe— y/n, darling, breathe for me…” Taking her husband’s advice as his voice eventually cut through ringing in her ears, y/n pushed her chair away from the desk, suddenly eager to stretch her worn-out limbs.

“Thank- thank you Jay…I’d appreciate it if you could come pick me up.”

“Alright. I’ll be there in ten.”

True to his word, Jay had made his way to y/n’s office building within ten minutes, his jaw clenched in what could only be described as concerned anger. He had been blown off for weeks on end over a job that caused y/n this much stress? Was it even worth it?

Conversations needed to happen once they got home.

The drive back home was silent. Jay’s grip on the steering wheel was death-grip tight and y/n didn’t have the heart to disturb the fragile quiet. Stealing glances every now and then at her husband, y/n kept her attention largely focused on the night-time scenery. Anything but breaking what precious peace was hanging over the car.

“So, when were you planning on admitting that you’re burning yourself out?” Jay’s sharp question cut through the silence as the couple entered their home, a thick blanket of impatience taking its place. He couldn’t let it fester in the corner of his mind anymore – the chef needed to know why his wife, the love of his life, was doing this to herself.

“Jay, love I—”

“No. Y/n, I don’t want to hear any more of your excuses. I can’t even— when was the last time you thought about something that wasn’t fucking work?”

“I-…I don’t know.”

“A month, y/n. You’ve been drowning yourself in work and shutting me out for a month.” Jay deadpanned, his frustrated exhaustion dripping through his voice. The dam containing everything he had held back had cracked, and it broke the moment the silence had stretched on longer than a minute. His rant continued, listing every moment where Jay had watched y/n break off and sacrifice more and more for a job that was draining her dry.

He couldn’t watch it happen any longer.

Coming down from his rant, Jay took a deep breath, then a few more, the adrenaline still burning away under his skin. He had turned his back during his rant, too fired up to look at y/n in the eye and frowned at the wall as he heard quiet sniffles. It couldn’t have been coming from him; his face was dry, and the only other person in the house was—

Was y/n crying?

“Y/n, baby—"

Furiously wiping at her stained cheeks, y/n squeezed her eyes shut when Jay came closer, bottom lip trembling. He was right— of course he was right. There wasn’t any doubt about it; she was overworking herself, but how could she possibly have let herself take a break when Jay was pushing himself every single day? Surely, she could do the same.

Evidently not, however.

When the fog of tears cleared, y/n was on the sofa, met by Jay’s chest, strong arms wrapped around her and soft whispers in her ear. She felt like a fool – everything could have been alright if she had simply told him in the first place. If she had just opened up to him when it all started to become too much to bear. Basking in her husband’s warmth a little while longer, y/n pulled herself off to look him in the eye, fond admiration swimming in her gaze.

“Feeling better, honey?” Oh how she loved him.

“Have I said that I love you, Jay? Because I love you.”

By morning, the air felt lighter. Much lighter. Y/n had spent the rest of the previous night drafting and sending an email to her boss. She wouldn’t allow them to abuse her work ethic anymore.

Now she had two weeks away from work and someone was to be trained to fill the same position.

She wasn’t doing it all by herself anymore.

Peering her head outside the bathroom as the smell of coffee and breakfast wafted its way over, y/n grinned, working through her morning routine even faster with the promise of hot coffee and Jay’s cooking not too far away. Y/n, of course, wasn’t absolutely clueless in the kitchen, having been taught the basics in university, but Jay wasn’t taking cup ramen and tteokbokki as nearly every day as an adequate excuse for a meal. The kitchen was his territory.

And no one seemed to be complaining about the arrangement just yet.

“Do you want to do something—” pausing, y/n looked up from her plate, her question haemorrhaging itself there. Did Jay have a day off? “…is your day off today or tomorrow?”

“It’s both, actually,” Jay grinned from behind his coffee, “Soobin hyung said I still have some holidays off, and the restaurant will survive without me for two days.” Jay answered, animating his answer with the end of his butter knife as he spoke. “I’m definitely down to spend time with you honey, I’ve missed our date nights.”

“I’ve missed it too, sorry about—”

“Nope— uh uh, no apologising love. All forgiven, remember?”

“Right,” y/n hummed, a mouthful of toast in her hand, “all forgiven.”

Watching the fountain display from the veranda of the downtown restaurant the couple had been recommended, their wine glasses clinked, a bottle of red wine sitting between them on the table. Eating dinner together downtown on what would have been a miserable and exhausting workday was not something y/n had in the card for her a week ago, but those cards could throw themselves away. She was here. With Jay. Together.

“Wanna toast?” Jay hummed, watching how his wife relaxed with an infatuated smile. “Toast to anything you want~”

“Anything?”

“Anything, honey.” He watched her rise from the seat, eyes not once leaving her.

“Hmm…I propose a toast…to better communication~”

“To better communication.” Clink.

© copyright work of @armysantiny 2023-2024

Networks: @kwritersworld, @kdiarynet, @ultkpopnetwork, @whipped-kpop-creators, @k-library, @knet-bakery, @kpclub, @hybenet, @enhypenwriters, @enhypennetwork

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Consider reblogging, leaving some feedback or donating to my kofi!

Taglist: @teeztheflag, @jeonqquk, @mikailo666, @blonghoonie, @babyboobean, @xavi-in-kpopland, @autmnsnowsrain | Taglist form

[ikeuverse]

LET ME EXPLAIN — p.jongseong

PAIRING: fwb!jay x fem!reader GENRES: fluff, slight angst WC: 5.8k+

WARNINGS: mentions of food, some swearing, alcohol. implicitly told that yn and jay have intimate relations. and let me know if i missed anything else.

NOTES: i always read fwb and this plot came to mind with jay so i had to put it into practice. because honestly this man as friends with benefits is a perdition. hope you enjoy and remember, my ask is always open!

masterlist

In your mind, this friends with benefits thing only happened in romantic comedy movies. That whole cliché of having a best friend at any time in your life, both being attracted to each other and starting with hot kisses until you were both in each other's bed. This continues until this relationship ends up being labeled friends with benefits.

You never thought of living this, even more so with your best friend Jay. When he proposed, knowing it was something you could start together – and because you loved clichés and romantic comedies – there was no denying it. And with the most cliché of all; the contract.

Jay's laughter was memorable as you sat on his lap one night after you were too tired to do anything. Your bare legs and torso were covered by his dark t-shirt as you waited for the paper to slowly come out of the printer.

"Do you want to read our contract?" he laughed with your weight on his leg, caressing your waist with his fingertips and letting his lips rest on your shoulder.

You read everything carefully as if you were living the scene from whatever movie you used to watch with that theme. Jay's kisses were soft against your skin and even with the last sentence, the most cliché of them, he didn't stop.

Neither of them can fall in love. This could be lived quietly if it weren't for the frequency of your encounters. If this friendship with benefits wasn't so intense because you were looking for Jay not just for sex, and he wasn't looking for you just to be in his bed without clothes. Many times Jay just wanted to kiss you while he came home from work feeling so tired, wanting a hot bath and the warmth of your arms while he napped for a while. Or you wanted to feel him hug you when you were on the verge of exhaustion after a university test that, even with effort, you knew you would get an average grade on.

Your relationship had gone beyond friendship with benefits and it was for this reason that you had relived that scene a million times in your mind. It was time for the main scene, where you call him into your room to talk, tear up the – useless – contract you created a year ago with the famous line "I fell in love with you".

And that's exactly what you did. You wanted to throw it all away and tell Jay that you loved him. That the situation you two were in was no longer a friendship with some sort of benefit, it was an unofficial relationship. And it was eating you up inside because you didn't have a proposal, you didn't have something concrete that could tell you it was a relationship or something like that.

So his brilliant mind worked stealthily to make that scene memorable. And it was. Only in the most horrible way possible, because as soon as you tore that paper looking into Jay's eyes, he ran. Ran. The boy opened your bedroom door and came out like a figure as if your apartment was on fire and he needed to get out as fast as possible.

It sank your heart too much. It shattered any expectations you had about Jay feeling anything beyond the friendship with the benefits you two had. You thought you were completely wrong about that.

And it was for that reason that you, at the present moment, decided to curl up even further in bed reaching for your warm comforter. You just wanted to sleep a few more hours before you got up.

"Coffee's ready" Zoe, your best friend, said quietly as she poked her head into your room. She searched the place but could only see your body buried under the covers "Come on y/n, you need to get out…"

"I don't want to, I'm tired" you mumbled softly, but quickly felt all the warmth from your covers disappear as Zoe pulled everything off of you.

"You've slept for over ten hours, there's no such thing as tired in this little body" as you looked at her, she smiled weakly in your direction, sitting down on the edge of your bed "Come on, you need to eat."

"But—"

"If you say you don't want to, Niki will come over here and pull you out by your hair," you laughed for the first time in weeks, knowing your friend would do just that.

Then, taking some convincing from Zoe's words, you stood up. She didn't leave your side until you'd gone to the bathroom and fixed your hair at least a little, trying to look presentable even though they'd both seen you like that.

"Finally!" Niki looked so excited when he saw you and Zoe come through the kitchen door. The baggy sweatshirt he was wearing made him look even cuter, and you smiled as you sat down on the opposite side of the worktop he was on "I made pancakes and I think we're out of jam, but we still have some peanut butter."

"I think that should do it" Zoe went over to the cupboard to get the peanut butter, setting it down next to her on the counter and grabbing the pancakes Niki had made.

As she served you, you felt your chest warm a little. You knew that your best friends, even though they shared an apartment with you, had been there for you no matter what and in almost every moment of your life since you started college. They knew about Jay, they knew what had happened because you had to explain when he ran out of the apartment without saying anything almost three weeks ago.

Three weeks you hadn't seen him since. A low sigh left your lips as you realized that all that time you hadn't seen him – either you were avoiding him, or he was doing the same – but maybe it was better for the moment.

"It's not the best milkshake in the world" Niki's whisper in your ear snapped you out of the sad reverie you were in. Then, looking over at your friend who now sat across from you on the kitchen counter, you let a smile play on your lips as he held out a cup "But I tried to imitate the one you and Zoe bought the other day."

"Oh, Niki" your nose started to sting at the action, any display of affection over the last few days was making you have that kind of reaction. You could feel your eyes watering.

"Shit, the idea was so bad? Zoe, she's going to cry—"

Niki despaired as a solitary tear fell down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away. Since you were sitting between the two of them, you quickly felt one of Zoe's arms around your waist, while Niki's arm went over your shoulder.

"She's just touchy because of fucking Jongseong…"

"Hey, he's still my friend" Niki tried to correct Zoe, who just shrugged.

"Sorry, I don't want to talk about him."

"Three weeks, y/n" Niki sighed "I think one time you need to talk too."

"Too? Has he talked about it?"

Niki exchanged intense glances with Zoe. She looked like she wanted to curse him with every swear word on the face of the earth while he looked even more lost like he was trying to find something to say to comfort you.

"What Niki means is..." your friend sighed as she took her hand from your waist, picking up the pancake from the plate to eat "You need to get together and talk. I think it'll work out…"

"Work out with what?"

"Lots of questions in the morning, eat up" the boy pushed his plate with some pancakes towards you, also pushing the glass of milkshake he had made.

You could sense that something was different between the two of them just by the exchange of glances. Of course, you've been locked in your room for the last few weeks, it was understandable that Zoe and Niki had a lot more issues and even internal things that you didn't participate in because you chose to isolate yourself until you were well.

But it wasn't as if he could get what Niki had said out of your mind. Too… So he'd talked to Jay about what had happened and, a mere maybe, your friend had known why he'd left the apartment that day so quickly. But now you didn't want to know that. If he left and so far hadn't been in touch, it was because you'd done wrong and your friends-with-benefits relationship had come to an end.

So you would think that way. But how do you get over Jay when you've been involved for so long? There was no way to just let go of the fact that you proposed to him, and he ran away. Jay had run away from you… Or at least that's what you were thinking.

Jay looked at his reflection in the mirror one more time, trying to convince himself that the shirt was good for the occasion. Or he was curling up too much in his room trying to make an excuse and not go out with his friends that night.

He could easily take the second option, considering that for the past few weeks, he just wanted to isolate himself from everyone and lie around for as long as he could. Or until one of his friends walked in on him and yanked him out of his bed.

"You're going with us today" Sunoo gently pushed him out of the room, leading Jay to the bathroom they had in their shared apartment "Take a shower, get dressed. Look a little more presentable and less fucked up this time."

Down the small hallway, Heeseung was leaning against the doorframe with a bowl in his hands, laughing at the big brother scene between Jay and Sunoo.

"By the way" the boy swallowed some of his cereal to avoid talking with his mouth full "She'll be there, so…"

That seemed to cheer Jay up a little, and he rushed into the bathroom and took one of the best showers of the week. But now, at the very moment, he looked in the mirror seeming to snap back to the reality that had hit him. All right, you could be at that party, but that didn't mean you wanted to talk to him. Or that you would agree to talk to Jay.

Because he was the one who ran out of your room. He was the one who left you there without a single explanation as to why he had run away after hearing that you were in love with him. The truth was that Jay had been taken by surprise. He knew he was in love with you. All your friends and everyone who lived with you both knew it, Jay would never deny it, but he was taken aback by your declaration because he never thought you'd be that direct. It's usually the guys who declare themselves first, right? At least that's what he learned from the romantic comedy movies he watched with you.

But when the words came out of your mouth, he just froze. And the only way out was to run away from there because he was afraid. Of what? Jay couldn't think. And he tried to take the last couple of weeks to get his head together and just put some good words together to talk to you, but again, he was scared and looking like a fucking coward. As Zoe called him the last time they met.

He wasn't taking away your best friend's reason, because if someone hurt one of his best friends, Jay would surely curse that person without a second thought. Niki tried to defuse the situation, saying that it was between the two involved, but he also wouldn't blame Zoe's scowl while they were all gathered in the café after Jay needed someone to talk to.

Niki, Zoe, Heeseung, and Sunoo were the ones chosen to sit there since the others were busy preparing for the little party he was getting ready for now. And because the four of them kept in touch more because they shared apartments, so it might help Jay to talk to those who were daily involved with the subject.

The conversation had been good, even with the scolding from the only girl at the table, it had only calmed down after Sunoo offered a piece of her chocolate pie. Thank you, God of candies, Jay hummed mentally before taking the teachings of that conversation for the next few days.

Explaining the situation, that was the first step. But for that, Jay needed to go out and find you, otherwise, you would never answer a call from him or reply to a message. He knew because he knew you well enough to know that this would happen. So it was in person or nothing.

"Are you ready yet? The boys are here" Sunoo shouted from the hallway, it startled Jay and brought him back to the present moment where he was still looking at his reflection in the mirror. The boy swallowed dryly, deciding to put on a denim shirt over the blouse he was wearing and mess up his hair a bit trying to look a bit more presentable.

The smile his friends gave him was good for him, because Jay knew that all that reception was for the fact that he was leaving his room. The first party he didn't refuse to go to – or was practically forced to, because Sunoo was almost beating him to it – so it was nice when he saw that Jake and Heeseung seemed excited about the group finally being complete.

And this excitement continued until the house where the party was taking place. Nothing different from what they had all been to, because college parties were always the same, only the location changed because it was either in a fraternity house or in the mansion of some rich student. It didn't matter. But the people were the same, drinks everywhere and loud music that almost made your eardrums hurt.

By instinct, Jay looked for you everywhere. His eyes searched every figure to try to recognize you in the crowd.

"Do you want a drink?" he looked quickly at Heeseung next to him, who was smiling compassionately at his friend.

"I think I'll get one, I'll go with you" Jay could look for you later, he felt his throat dry and Heeseung's idea wasn't entirely bad for the moment.

So he followed his friend to the back garden of the house where the beer barrels were placed. Maybe a bitter to start before Jungwon showed up with Sunghoon and they started creating the craziest – and tastiest – drinks of the night.

"Are you okay? I mean…" Heeseung grabbed two glasses, handing one to Jay. When he took it, the boy pressed the keg's hose to pour some beer into his glass, doing the same to his friend "Are you feeling comfortable here?"

"I think I'll get better when she gets here" Jay didn't mind being direct, even more so with Heeseung by his side. Seeing that his friend only agreed, he drank some of his beer when the glass was full enough.

"Then let's go find the others, maybe a game or two before you paralyze them when she walks in the front door" he joked and that made Jay truly laugh. Because that was what happened every time at college parties. Jay could just freeze when you walked into the party because he was mesmerized by your clothes. The graceful way you moved to meet him and hug him when you met him with your friends. It was always a "get y/n out of here, she'll distract Jay and we'll lose" joke.

"Our best player has arrived" Sunghoon celebrated as soon as Jay approached the pool table, being greeted by his friends and a few other guys he knew from parties.

"Were you waiting for me?" he commented, a little too cocky when some agreed and others jokingly mocked that he had come just to lose "What team am I on? I want to slaughter you all" he joked, placing his almost empty beer glass on the makeshift table where a few more glasses were.

"Let's play me, you and Jake" Sunghoon ruffled Jay's hair even more "Worth a bottle of tequila."

"Uh, tempting. I'll take that" he grinned broadly and rolled up the sleeves of the shirt he was wearing.

Winning a bottle of tequila was worth it because it would only add fuel to the drinks they would make later. That one would be responsible for making Jungwon's drinks even better if that was possible.

"Loser gets to clean the winner's room for a week" one of the boys from the opposing team commented, and that made everyone laugh.

For a moment Jay decided to concentrate on his friends and the little game going on in front of him. Distracting himself might be the best remedy for the anxiety that was tearing at his chest so he could see you that night. He knew that the pool might take a few minutes, but nothing that would be so bad that he would stay there all night. Especially since his fingers would start to hurt from the shots, he knew someone would lose at some point or Jake would grumble about being tired and pull him away from the table to get a drink.

Surprisingly, the game ended sometime later. Jay's team won because Sunghoon threw the black ball together, now, with the bottle of tequila in his hands.

"Let's find Jungwon, I need something besides beer" Jake whined so childishly that Sunghoon laughed out loud at that. The three-headed to the kitchen of the house only to find the rest of their friends.

"If we'd agreed, it wouldn't have worked" Jake hummed as he approached the others, greeting them one by one until he stopped at Zoe. She smiled and hugged him back, and when Jake went to Niki to hug him, Jay felt stunned.

Only Zoe and Niki were there, but no sign of you. Maybe you'd gone to the bathroom or met some friend on the way who might have made your trip to the kitchen a little long. Jay's gaze was so intent that it had caught Zoe's attention, she walked towards him and touched the boy's shoulder gently to get his attention.

"Are you okay?" she whispered loud enough for Jay to hear. His other friends now celebrating the fact that Jungwon was opening the bottle of tequila to start making his famous drinks.

"She's… She's… Where is she? She didn't come?" Jay seemed a little lost for words, feeling Zoe's fingers soften on his shoulders with a friendly squeeze there.

"She didn't want to come" Zoe smiled without showing her teeth, she knew she had been tasked with breaking this news to Jay since Niki didn't want to face the sad look on his friend's face.

"Because of me, right?" Jay asked.

The silence in Zoa's reply could already tell him all he needed to know, and it sank Jay's chest even deeper into guilt. He gave in to his friends' requests and sure enough Zoe and Niki had asked you relentlessly, thinking you would give in to it too.

Then you were deeply unwell and didn't want to see him at all, because you declined the invitation. You weren't there.

"Hey, you two" Jake called out to Jay and Zoe, making them both look at the counter surrounded by their friends there "Jungwon sorted your glasses, come drink" he pointed to the containers already waiting for them.

Zoe glanced at Jay before thinking to follow and picking up her glass, trying to smile and beckon him to join.

"Come on, maybe it's good—"

"Can I come over to your apartment?" he asked quickly, on an impulse that made the girl's eyes widen in surprise at the question.

"Jay… Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked back. Zoe had an understanding tone but was also worried about the whole situation because she knew how the boy in front of her was and what he felt. But she also knew very well the state her best friend was in.

"I need to fix the shit I did" he sighed heavily, his hands running down his shirt to wipe them from whatever it was – the sweat of nervousness that was starting to run through his body.

"It's okay, I guess you can do that" she walked with him to the countertop for a moment, picking up her glass and handing him his.

Jay didn't think twice before tipping over the entire contents, feeling his throat burn because he knew he was the strongest. Jungwon had done this for his friend and his relentless night. He thanked her under amazed stares for how quickly he had drunk the contents, and with a kiss on Zoe's cheek as a thank you, he ran out of there as fast as he could.

Running to your apartment was not an option for Jay. He felt his body exhausted and, even though the party wasn't that far away, he preferred to take an Uber so he could get off in front of the building where you lived.

From the lobby, greeting the janitor who knew him and didn't ask a single question as he waved to Jay and let him into the elevator. All this while the boy tried to calm his already rapid breathing as soon as your floor number lit up his eyes.

He didn't know he could get so nervous about something related to you like that. Jay remembers being like that only the first time you kissed and the first time something sexual happened, because he thought it might ruin the friendship you'd built since your first year at university. So there he was, just as nervous as if it was his first time at something.

Maybe it was. It was the first time he would see you after weeks of no contact and, possibly, if it worked out, the first time he might confess how he felt about you. Swallowing dryly, Jay left a few light knocks on the front door, opting for that instead of ringing the doorbell. He didn't know if you were asleep or if the sound might startle you, so the knocks on the door were safer against any banging inside your apartment.

The footsteps dragging on the other side of the door made Jay's heart race instantly. You were there, going to meet him even if you didn't know who was waiting for you. Jay was fully aware that you had no idea. On the other hand, you thought it might be Niki or Zoe who had forgotten something at home and came back for you, so you didn't mind answering the door the way you were.

Your eyes widened at the sight of a panting Jay at your front door. He let his jaw drop at the sight of your bare legs, the torso covered by a huge oversized t-shirt that went to just above your knees. Their hair was loose and not messy, but your clean expression indicated that you had just stepped out of the shower.

"Jay?" your voice was hoarse, from lack of use and because you'd cried a little in the shower, but that last part would be a secret only yours "Zoe and Niki left a while ago, they—"

"I've come to see you" he interrupted you so subtly that you couldn't be surprised by the confession but felt your whole body shiver at it "Can I come in?" Jay sighed as you gave way, still holding the door handle as he entered the apartment.

The familiar scent of the room flooded him with longing because it was as if the boy was the fourth member of the apartment shared between you and your friends, just as you were of his too.

Jay turned around only when he heard the sound of the door closing, your slow steps approaching him who was already in the center of the living room of your apartment. He looked at you deeply, searching for any trace that you were uncomfortable or that you didn't want him to be there, but no. He could only see how shy you were. Jay could only see how shy and equally nervous you were, because your fingers quickly found each other, playing with your own hand as he took a step forward.

"Why didn't you go to the party today?" Jay asked the first thing that came to his mind, he wanted to buy time until he calmed his poor heart.

"I had some late work from university" you lied, still not looking at him and playing with your fingers. He stopped in front of you, raising his hands to reach yours and intertwine his fingers in yours.

"Or did you not go because of me?"

Motherfucker. He runs out of your apartment and when he comes back, he acts like he knows you so well. Okay, he did, but you didn't have to give in that much when you shook his hands incisively.

"You're so arrogant" you laughed low, not because it was funny, but because you were nervous and didn't know what to say. When you finally lifted your gaze to Jay's face, he had been staring at you the whole time. The dark, glowing orbs stared at random points on your face until they met his slightly reddened, equally glowing eyes.

"I asked you a question, y/n" he said seriously.

You laughed once more, slowly sliding your hands over his to release them at once.

"It's not like I'm obligated to answer, Jay" you tried to mimic his intonation, feeling your chest ache at the look he'd cast after your speech.

Jay didn't move in his seat as you took a step back, enough to be a safe distance from him.

"Did you come here to find out why I didn't go to the party?" your breathing was rapid, but you tried to calm yourself as you took a deep breath, holding back the uncontrollable urge to cry when Jay still kept his eyes on you "You could have asked Niki or Zoe" your shoulders rose and then slowly lowered, trying not to give a shit with the growing urge of the burning in your eyes at the moment "Maybe talking to them you won't run so easily…"

Your words died in Jay's mouth, which was now pressed against yours. He doesn't know how fast he ran so he could grab your body and kiss you so quickly. For a few seconds – three, maybe – you tried to push him away with trembling hands that spread his chest. This only urged Jay to press you against him, his tongue sliding against your bottom lip a few times until the kissing passage was given.

Even with the need to feel all of you, he seemed so careful with every touch. Sliding his tongue across yours so calmly and his lips fitting so perfectly that you stopped reluctantly and just enjoyed the moment you'd missed. Without trying to push him away now, your hands firmly gripped the shirt he was wearing and that was like a silent answer so Jay could keep kissing you like he wanted to.

His mouth left yours with slow kisses, sliding now to your jaw until he brushed his lips against your cheek. Warm skin against his mouth and you felt Jay smile against your skin.

"Why did you…"

"I needed to shut you up somehow" he was a little breathless from the recent kissing action, his speech being muffled by still having his mouth against your skin. Jay didn't pull away for fear of looking you in the eye after that and that you'd finally push him away "And you wouldn't let me talk, so…"

"Do you have something to tell me?" your hands smoothed a little on Jay's shirt as he slid his fingers around your waist. Straightening his body so that he could still have his face close to you, but this time facing each other.

"A lot, I just…"

"Jay, it's okay" you interrupted him subtly, your hands returning to Jay's chest only to straighten the shirt you'd wrinkled from holding on too tightly "I think I understood that day and you didn't have to come here."

He kissed you once more, now without going deeper like minutes before. Jay just brushed his lips against yours and let his breath mingle with yours, their warm, moist mouths joined by something so subtle.

"Let me explain, please?" he said against your mouth, his chest tearing inside at the little plea he whispered sounding pained in his tone.

If he was there for a reason, and if he was kissing you every time you cut him off, the reason was a lot bigger than you thought. He could end it all or say he wanted something one last time before you two became strangers the next morning.

With your silence, he interpreted it as a way to continue, and that only made him even more nervous. But he'd been brave enough to kiss you without getting slapped or cursed at and yelled at, so he had to pull the courage out of his chest to tell you. And he would.

"I know my reaction wasn't the best that day, and I'm really sorry for all of it."

Remembering Jay running out of your room wasn't a very pleasant thing, even if the situation would have seemed funny if it had been in another scenario. He pulled his mouth away from yours just enough, now leaning both foreheads together and focusing on touching the tip of your nose to his.

"But the truth is that you ruined all the plans I had made to confess to you."

"What?" you pulled your face away from Jay, frowning and tilting your head back enough to look at him.

An amused look and a slightly less tense countenance than yours. He laughed low at your surprise, almost as if he'd expected it as he felt your body slide down his arms until you pulled away a little.

"Yeah, you ran ahead and said what I wanted to say" he scratched the back of his head a little nervously now, his hands-free from your body as his steps were enough for you to be a little further away from him "And I froze, you know?"

"How, Jay? I mean… I'm confused" he knew you would be, so it was understandable as your brow furrowed more and more and your gaze was judging him in every way possible.

He felt shy with your gaze never leaving him, even if it was something still confusing. Jay's hands quickly wrapped around his arms before he crossed them in front of his body, a way to calm his hands with what he was about to say.

"I know how much you love these romantic comedies because I've lost count of how many times we've watched them here, even sitting on this couch" he pointed to the cushion next to the two of you in the living room, and you couldn't help but let out a shy laugh. Your love for the movie genre was true, you just didn't know if Jay would like watching them with you.

But he never refused to watch it, never seemed bored, and asked really interesting questions about the topic. He even suggested a few during sessions when you just couldn't make up your mind.

"So I thought I'd be cliché with the whole silly contract thing and I spent a long time trying to work up the courage and propose before I tore up that paper or recreated the scene from some movie we watched" Jay uncrossed his arms and ran his hands down his shirt, feeling like he might faint at any moment with your expressions completely focused on him. Jay didn't know if you were going to punch him after that, or if you were going to say it was too late to confess, so he hurried and took a few steps back towards you until he was close enough to your body "But I hadn't thought about what it would be like if you decided to do it for us."

You had, indeed, and from what he was saying – not unkindly – you had ruined his plans to propose to you.

"Sure, I could've kissed you after that confession or taken you to bed and told you how much I love you and that that stupid contract just made me fall in love with you" Jay rambled so much, you almost shouting with the I love you he said without even realizing it. As he said it over and over, seeming to blurt out his own words, you knew he was smiling.

A captivating smile that he didn't know if it was because he was all flustered or because you hadn't given up on feeling the same way about him. Without answering him with the right words, it was your turn to wrap Jay between your hands, grabbing his face and pulling him close. You sealed your lips next to his, sighing heavily against Jay's mouth when he grabbed your waist on instinct.

"So you love me?" you held back the urge to laugh as Jay's eyes widened, realizing that it had come so naturally and that he hadn't even noticed.

"I love you, y/n. I really do love you" he whispered, keeping close to you "I'm not so good with romantic comedies and all that cliché stuff, but pretend I'm tearing up that contract right now in front of you."

You laughed once more, kissing him again as Jay pressed you against him. The warmth of his lips, the way he held you so carefully as he kissed you, and the low sighs against your mouth before the two of you could break apart in search of some oxygen.

"I love you, Jay" it was your turn to whisper as he leaned his forehead against yours "But I don't care that you messed up like that."

"No? But I messed it up because it wasn't like the movies…"

"Really" you confessed and before he could apologize one more time, your fingers slid up to his lips so Jay wouldn't keep talking "It was much better. Because I think we're living our fumbling, romantic comedy."

He chuckled against your fingers, kissing them before pulling them away from his mouth so he could move closer with his face even closer to yours.

"Thanks for ruining my plans, then" Jay knew it was nothing compared to the movies you two watched and loved, but it sure was a lot better than anything you could share.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.