Note
I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)
before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"
I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.
Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.
IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF
TAVVY
TAVVY
TAVVY
DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV
I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT
“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”
“But it’s 15 in Idris!”
“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.
DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD
Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.
The warlock – not the shadowhunter.
He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.
Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.
The shadowhunter – not the warlock.
I AM SCREAMING
I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about
“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”
Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?
ARCHITECT TAVVY
SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS
SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES
“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”
“Cause they are chill?”
“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.
Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)
ANJALI IS A CENTURION
LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS
I still ship them.
“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”
Well, that was a quick change-
Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.
THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS
great now I miss Raphael
I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY
that is so thoughtful of him though...
tears.
“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.
“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.
“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”
Of course, it is. No one is surprised.
Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”
“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.
white people and their bland foods smh
“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”
As she should be
UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE
He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.
"Beautiful"
I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO
I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP
FUCKING RUMORS
I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE
“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”
There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.
No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.
But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.
YET
Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.
OH MY GOD THESE TWO
But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.
I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D
“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.
I-
same.
NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-
RAFAEL LMAO NO
"I hate her she's so annoying"
continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone
Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?
And he calls Max oblivious.
oh class started
shit
IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING
LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY
JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD
“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”
“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.
LMAO POOR DAVID
“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”
He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.
yup, that's them.
“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”
“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”
He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.
Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.
Idiots
ok, there is so much to unpack here.
DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??
These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI
“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”
“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.
“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.
of course, he is.
G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD
oh shit
oh shit
WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME
what's the rumor and who do I need to kill
He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.
what is her problem?
what the fuck
I need a minute
I need a minute to digest that
I'm so glad I closed my camera in class
what the actual fuck did she just say
tell me I'm hallucinating
times like these I wish I was Jared 19
no, because I'm actually speechless right now
Paige and Irene need therapy
OH SHE WENT THERE
“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”
THANK YOU
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON
I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him
I can't believe this
“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”
“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”
OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU
hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight
I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME
“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”
I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.
This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.
yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.
MAX IS SMOKING TOO
YOU FUCKING IDIOTS
oh wait
oh they might be alec's
yeah
For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.
Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.
He kept talking about portalling people to hell.
MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!
But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.
They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.
YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.
NO MAGNUS
THAT'S IT
MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL
WE'RE DOING IT
why do we hurt others?
my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units
me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.
“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”
EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”
AS HE SHOULD
Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.
He's right though.
it'll take time. lots of it maybe.
BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.
It fucked with his mind so much.
Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS
“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”
MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER
He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.
Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.
EXACTLY
Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.
It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.
GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO
(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)
His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.
that's adorable actually.
“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”
“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”
“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”
“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.
Therapy is boring but useful so-
He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.
He needed to go back home.
UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES
I'm so proud of him for this...
I still say we kill these people.
JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE
UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF
Camilla Alvarez.
well well.
OH THEY KISSED
“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”
hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT
Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.
Rafe: OMFG WHAT
Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.
AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU
THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING
“He is hot.”
He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”
“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.
Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”
I'm liking this ship...
I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP
but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs
Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.
Rafe: ????
Dad: I hv friends thr.
Rafe: ???
Dad: Thy r watchn u.
Rafe: Creepy but okay.
HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV
THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL
Do it
MILA IS GOING TO NY!!
I like her. she's nice.
He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”
“Why?”
“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”
honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs
Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.
no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.
“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.
LMAO
Max and I are vertically challenged.
“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”
So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.
well-
“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.
“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.
“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”
“Dick."
I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO
When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.
There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.
There was only growth.
His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.
This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.
YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.
“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”
Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”
“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”
I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.
“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”
YES EXACTLY
“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”
I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.
“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.
“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”
affectionate sigh that's alec.
“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”
Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”
“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.
Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.
Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.
Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.
I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class
I'm so proud of him.
“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”
“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.
“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”
THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.
THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG
“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.
Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine
“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”
YES CRISTINA
“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”
What if I just strangles him
“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”
“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.
“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.
“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.
“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.
The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)
THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL
“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.
YES ANJALI
Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”
“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.
CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES
“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”
“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”
YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE
“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”
SHOW THEM, QUEEN
How did she know his birthday????
ahem
“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”
There was absolute silence then.
“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”
The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.
“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”
She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.
Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.
also, alec looking scared-
“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.
“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”
“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.
YES YES AND YES
“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.
“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”
“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”
“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”
Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️
"She hates me!"
“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”
Stupid but brave.
YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!
ANJALI WHO HURT YOU
WHO DARED TO
Names. Give me names NOW
Jaime no...please no not Jaime.
please please, please
ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...
“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”
This is such an Anjali thing to say.
OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??
me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...
BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...
UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE
see ya on Friday!!
OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.
But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!
Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!
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straight through the smoke (3)
Summary: After Magnus breaks up with Alec and chooses to align with the Seelie Queen, pulling the Downworld Cabinet with him, Alec is arrested by the Clave for high treason. Will Magnus find out in time to save him from a death sentence?
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
On AO3
Ten minutes left.
Alec stumbles when his guards push him roughly toward the center of the courtyard, struggling to regain his balance with his hands still cuffed in front of him. One of the guards swipes his stele along the cuffs to remove them, and Alec flexes his wrists to help the blood flow back into his hands. He takes a pause to steady himself, then raises his head high and walks the rest of the way.
The large rune carved in the stone of the courtyard hasn’t been used in a long time. There hasn’t been an execution in the New York Institute in over a century. Alec has to fight himself not to look down as he steps in the middle of the rune, instead holding Imogen’s gaze until she looks away.
Beyond the no-man’s-land created by the rune and its safety circle, the courtyard is crowded. They’re all familiar faces, people Alec has led for most of the last decade. There is no hunger, no blood-thirst in their eyes. In fact, the atmosphere of the courtyard is muted and heavy. Disapproving.
Imogen is in front of the crowd, holding an adamas staff. Behind her, the Institute’s core stone of adamas has been set on a small platform, waiting to power the staff. The staff would normally be handled by a Silent Brother, Alec knows, but there must not have been any within the warlocks’ wards. Imogen is taking it upon herself to do the deed, just like she almost did with Valentine – or the man she thought was Valentine. Alec is looking at his executioner.
The anger has settled in him, and then evaporated. There is no time left for bitterness, not when he has mere minutes to live. Imogen doesn’t matter.
He tears his eyes away from her to survey the crowd. Even the youngest Shadowhunters of the Institute are here, some of them barely turned thirteen, and Alec is immensely grateful that his parents took Max back to Alicante as soon as he was stable. He couldn’t stand to look at his little brother today.
He wonders if Imogen has deemed it necessary to inform his parents, if they’re raising hell to save him from this, powerless, in Alicante, or if they secretly think he deserves no less. He’ll never know.
Despite being crammed around the safety circle, his people are standing apart from Imogen’s goons, like they’re showing their disapproval by isolating the Clave’s envoys into a group of their own. The Institute’s Shadowhunters are all standing at attention, in their formal uniforms, the Institute’s insignia on display on their chests. Alec chokes up. Every one of them seems to be wearing the—his Institute’s symbol instead of the more conventional Clave insignia for such an occasion – it’s a deliberate show of support to him, one that Imogen can’t take away from them.
Alec locks eyes with his second-in-command Jens, his mentor, who looks back at him with his gaze full of rage and sorrow. He breaks his stance to place his hand over his insignia, just above his heart. Alec nods at him, trying to make his gratitude apparent in his expression. Jens will handle the Institute until Imogen or the Consul appoints someone else – maybe Jace again, unless his association with Alec has tainted him irremediably.
Alec tries to meet everyone’s eyes, even briefly, in the time Imogen gives him. Sixteen-year-old Kara Svec, a recent transfer from Prague, who Alec has been taking under his wing. She’s crying silently, her head held high, and Alec gives her a tiny smile. Sandra, his favorite IT specialist and Alec’s de facto secretary, since the Clave has yet to assign him a real one. They won’t need to anymore. Andrej, the weapons instructor who replaced Hodge, and his herd of teenage Shadowhunters. Underhill, his brand new Head of Security. Even Lindsay Wayglide and Carson Strongmill, who grumble at each of Alec’s new briefings, are wearing their Institute insignia.
Jace and Izzy are standing at the front, their expressions a mix of horror and trepidation that even their best attempt can’t hide. They’re holding hands tightly, not bothering to stand at attention. It’s clear that they’re still hoping that something will stop the execution, but it’s too late for that now. Alec wishes that he could hug them one last time.
Magnus isn’t there. Alec wonders if he hallucinated his presence yesterday, or if Magnus is out there somewhere, trying to stop Valentine. He has his people to think about. Alec berates himself for hoping that he’d be able to look into his lover’s eyes as he died.
“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you have been declared guilty of high treason, and sentenced to death by immolation,” Imogen declares, her tone emotionless. “Do you have any last words?”
Alec, turns away from Imogen, clasping his hands behind his back in one last show of respect in the direction of his people. He looks down at the rune on the floor and tries to put his thoughts together, swallowing.
“I was lucky,” he says quietly. The silence in the courtyard seems to grow deeper, expectant. “I was lucky to fall in love with a man as wonderful as Magnus Bane. A man who is a warlock, a Downworlder. Someone that my entire upbringing had conditioned me to despise, and yet the man I met and fell in love with was nothing like what I had been told.”
Alec blinks back the tears coming to his eyes, letting his memories of Magnus wash over him. He can barely remember, now, why their breakup felt so important, why he didn’t run to Magnus and apologize, to spend one more day, one more minute with him. Wasted chances, all of them.
“Nephilim, Downworlders, Mundanes,” he continues, this time raising his head high to meet the eyes boring into him. “We’re all people. When it comes down to it, we’re all the same, with the same faults and the same hopes. I love a Downworlder, and if the Clave is going to execute me for that, then so be it. I am not ashamed, and the only regret I have is that it took me too much time to understand how deeply we Shadowhunters are failing at fulfilling our duty.” Alec turns to look at Imogen, letting his hands fall to his sides. He refuses to show her any more deference. “Our prejudices deform our understanding of the world until it is unrecognizable, and that is how ideas like those of the Circle are born.”
Imogen opens her mouth, but Alec turns away from her again. “The coming times may bring war and grief to our doorstep,” he meets Jens’ gaze. “I am sorry that I will not be there to meet them at your side. But when there comes a time when you have to take a stand, I urge you to think. Is caring for other people a crime that should be punished, just because those people are different from us?
“I love a warlock, and I will not apologize for treating him and his kind like people.”
Alec lowers his head to signify the end of his speech. He traces the rune under his feet with his eyes, once more, then catches Izzy and Jace’s eyes. I love you, he mouths, opening the parabatai bond wide to push through all of his love. They’re the ones who will have to stay behind, and keep fighting.
Jace pushes back fearstrengthlove and Alec nods at him just a fraction. Izzy has tears running down her cheeks. Alec takes all the courage he can get from their gazes and tries to send some back, before he turns back to Imogen. He will not let his siblings see his face as he burns.
Imogen doesn’t look at him as she raises the staff and touches it to the core stone. The entire courtyard seems to hold its breath, watching the tip light up like a stele, ready to activate the fire rune on the floor.
“Pulvis et umbra sumus,” Imogen declares. Her posture tightens when the only ones who repeat it are her Clave soldiers, but she turns her staff to the rune without stalling.
Alec closes his eyes.
This is how his story ends. Burnt to death in the courtyard of his own Institute, under the eyes of his siblings and his people. This is how he dies.
*
Twelve hours left.
“He wasn’t supposed to plead guilty! We were supposed to have more time!”
Isabelle is pacing the length of the small bedroom, while Jace sits immobile on the bed, staring at nothing. He looks in shock, incapable of processing. Clary looks at Magnus with pleading eyes as Jace fails to react to her pats on his arm.
Magnus pinches the bridge of his nose. “The Clave called off the search for Valentine,” he says. “He got through the wards around the city. He’s on his way to Lake Lyn as we speak, and the Consul is going to welcome him with open arms.”
The three Shadowhunters stare at him in shock. “The Consul is part of the Circle?” Isabelle asks with wide eyes.
“Alec said it was the only explanation. I told him during the trial.” Magnus closes his eyes. “Maybe that was a mistake. He pleaded guilty to speed up the trial, so we could get there faster.”
“Fuck!” Jace mutters through his teeth. He rams his fist into the mattress in desperate rage.
“That sounds like Alec,” Isabelle sighs.
“What do we do?” Clary asks, wringing her hands. “We have to stop Valentine, but we can’t let Alec get executed!”
Magnus feels himself flinch at the word once more. Executed. If they don’t find a solution fast, Alec will be burned to death by his own people, for the crime of loving him. Of being a good person, in spite of everything he’s been taught.
Clenching his fists, Magnus forces down the magical outburst he can feel coming and instead conjures a timer. “We have twelve hours,” he says, starting the magical clock with a wave of his hand.
“If Valentine is already in Idris, he’ll be at Lake Lyn long before that,” Isabelle says. Her face distorts before her next sentence. “Stopping him has to be our priority. We can’t let him succeed.”
Magnus shakes his head. “I agree that he’s the priority, but we can’t leave things as they are. This isn’t just about Alec. Even if we succeed in stopping Valentine, if Alec is executed tomorrow and word gets out about why, we’re looking at an all-out war.” He takes a gasping breath, the guilt eating him alive. How much of all this is his fault? He knows, he’s known for centuries that the Seelie Queen can’t be trusted. He chose her side over Alec. And if the war that’s brewing happens, he’ll have doomed his own people as well as Alec.
He leans against the wall, struggling to breathe through the panic. “Magnus?” Isabelle asks, squeezing his arm.
Magnus shakes himself. He can’t give in to the fear. Not yet. “The Seelie Queen betrayed us all. And your Clave is about to execute one of its own Heads for associating with the Downworld. This is a fuse that will blow it up to massive proportions.”
“But what can we do?” Clary asks.
“We need to split up,” Jace breathes, meeting Magnus’ eyes as he understands his intent. “Some of us need to stay behind. To organize.”
“Yes,” Magnus confirms.
They all look at each other for a moment. It’s not an easy decision. “Magnus,” Isabelle says softly. “You’re the best equipped to fight Valentine, especially since Jonathan might be with him.”
Magnus sighs. As loathe as he is to leave Alec, he knows she’s right. “I’ll go. I’ve already spoken to Luke and Raphael, they know where I stand. You can coordinate with them.”
“What about the warlocks?” Clary asks. “There’s still the wards over the city.”
“That’s also why I need to go,” Magnus says. “I’m the only one here who can go through them. I can take one of you with me. The warlocks won’t get involved beyond lowering the wards when I tell them to, unless war is officially declared.”
“The wards are useless now, though,” Isabelle remarks.
“Maybe not,” Jace says. “If you take them down, we expose ourselves to the Clave, and we know we can’t trust them. Right now every Shadowhunter in New York is in the Institute. That could work to our advantage.”
“An insurrection?” Magnus asks curiously.
“Maybe not that far, but Imogen is a minority right now. Our people are loyal to Alec. We may be able to use that to stall, if nothing else.”
Magnus nods. “Buy us more time.” He eyes the timer. “We could use that.”
“Clary, you go with Magnus,” Jace says.
Clary frowns. “You’re a better fighter than I am.”
Jace shakes his head. “You have your runes. And I’m needed here. My name and Izzy’s contacts will go a long way.”
Jace doesn’t add that if Alec is executed, it will incapacitate him and make him useless in a fight, but Magnus can see it on his face.
Clary nods and stands up, checking her pocket for her stele. “Magnus, do you think you could summon me a blade from the armory?” she asks. “I don’t know if we’re still on house arrest, but I’m sure we’ll be watched the second we step out of this room.”
“Of course.” Magnus visualizes the armory the best he can and pulls. The blade he finds in his hand isn’t Clary’s usual one, but Clary doesn’t seem to be bothered as she grabs it and clips it to her belt.
“Alright, Biscuit,” Magnus takes her shoulder. “We can’t waste any more time.”
He watches her hug Jace tightly, then Izzy, and the steel band around his chest tightens a little more at the thought of Alec, alone in a cell, waiting for his execution. He doesn’t let himself wish that they could have had more time, that they could have talked. They will.
“Isabelle,” he says. Isabelle turns to him and hugs him a well, but Magnus can’t quite return the gesture. He’s too tense. “If we don’t make it back in time—”
“We’ll do everything in our power,” Isabelle promises. She doesn’t say what, specifically. She can’t promise more.
Neither can Magnus. “If Valentine succeeds,” he starts instead, swallowing. “Tell Alec that I love him, and I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, Magnus,” Isabelle murmurs. “You’ll get to tell him yourself. Have faith.”
Magnus nods. “I love you, too. Alec is my family now, and that means that so are you.”
“Go kill Valentine for me, then,” Jace says, punching his arm. In another context, it could have seemed callous, even rejecting. But the look on his face says everything, and Magnus suddenly remembers that Valentine raised him. That Valentine is his abuser.
“For all of us,” he chokes out. “Brother.”
They’re brothers in battle now, not just in their connection to Alec. They strive toward the same goal. Jace nods, pursuing his lips in the way he does when he’s trying to hide his emotions.
Magnus opens a portal, layering it with a shield meant to pierce wards, both those of the Institute and the ones around the city. Clary takes his hand, and in a second, they’re gone.
*
Eight hours left.
They’ve set up in the training room. It’s something Alec once started, Izzy remembers, in the first year he took over the Institute. He was sixteen, not even an adult in Nephilim eyes. She remembers that he had to get Jens to sign every single report before he could even send them to their parents because his own signature held no weight, even though he was effectively running an entire Institute.
Their parents still came back for a few days every month back then, and after dressing Alec down for some minor mistake, they’d kicked him out of the Head’s office like his work meant nothing. So Alec had swallowed his pride, changed into workout clothes, and held every single one of his planned meetings in the training room, under the guise of fighting hand-to-hand.
He kept doing that as long as their parents still held some pretense of running the Institute whenever they were in New York. The practice came in handy when first Lydia, then Aldertree and later Imogen took over the Institute and Izzy watched Alec more than once discreetly listen to his people’s complaints and needs while kicking their ass on the training room floor, or letting them pretend to watch him fight Jace or Izzy herself.
Today it’s Izzy and Jace on the mats, sparring without conviction. It’s past midnight, and the benches are full. They’ve had to wait until Imogen retired for the night, leaving only one of her henchmen to watch over the ops center while the Institute works are reduced capacity. They can’t leave the bounds of the city, when they would usually handle calls as far out as New Jersey, and half of the regular patrols have been canceled because of the events of the day. Anything involving Downworlders has been put on indefinite hold.
Izzy straightens with a silent nod to Jace, untangling herself from his grip, and heads back toward the nearest bench to grab her towel. Jens hands her a bottle of water, casually standing up next to her, just outside of the line of sight of the Clave guard in the other room.
“Clary’s training all night,” Izzy says. “I need someone to cover for her. It’s her final exam.”
Jens nods gravely. “Is she on her own?”
“No,” Izzy shakes her head. “She’s getting some help.” She makes a small hand gesture low at her side, imitating Magnus’ style the best she can.
“Good,” Jens nods. “I hope it will be enough.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Izzy sees Jace gesture to her. It looks like he’s got Lindsay to distract the Clave guard, and he has his back to them now. Jace runs his hand across his throat. The sound of the surveillance system has been taken down. The guard won’t notice as long as he’s not looking. They have a few minutes.
She signals the Shadowhunters around her to come closer. They gather around her just as Jace joins them, still looking like an accidental grouping but close enough to listen.
“I think you all know that the crimes Alec is accused of are unfair and that he’s innocent. It looks like the Clave is corrupt far beyond what we thought. I’m reaching out to people we trust to try to overturn this decision, but I need you to be ready.”
“Ready for what?” one of the Shadowhunters asks.
It’s Kara Svec, Alec’s little protegee. She’s at the bottom of the Institute hierarchy, still a trainee, and she’s speaking out of turn, but Izzy doesn’t point it out. She knows it, Izzy can see it on her face. She loves Alec and she’s terrified.
Alec was her age when he took over the Institute, Izzy realizes. She didn’t understand how young that was at the time. They were teenagers, ready to take on the world, and she and Jace must have caused Alec so much trouble with their unruliness. Izzy can barely handle the thought of leading the Institute now, let alone when she was sixteen.
Izzy puts an arm around Kara’s shoulders to comfort her, though the young Shadowhunter is taller than her. “We’re going to do everything we can to get Alec out of this,” she says. It’s looking less and less like they’ll succeed while staying within the bonds of Clave law. Izzy and Jace have tried everything they could already, from calling their parents – they didn’t answer, and Izzy has a feeling that Imogen is purposefully keeping them away – to Jace directly trying to convince Imogen to change her mind. Izzy has been through all of her contacts in Alicante, and the only thing she got was a promise from Aline that she’d call back as soon as she got hold of her mother.
“If we have to, we’ll stop the execution and break Alec out,” Jace says, his voice deep and more confident than he is. “We won’t ask any of you to put yourself in a position to go against the Clave, but we need to know that you won’t stop us.”
Jens steps up at that. “Alec is our Head, and what’s happening is wrong. I am loyal to him before the Clave.” Izzy nods at him. The older Shadowhunter is Alec’s mentor in many ways, the one who taught him how to run the Institute when their parents left. Alec broke traditions when he made Jens his official second-in-command, despite him not being a fieldworker.
“He’s the best commander I’ve ever had,” Underhill declares. “I stand with him. We’ll help in any way we can.”
Kara nods emphatically at that, tears in her eyes, and she’s followed by all of the others. Everyone here has a reason to be thankful to Alec, and that’s exactly why Izzy chose them.
“We’ll do things by the book for as long as possible,” Izzy says. “But be ready. Pass the word to anyone you know you can trust.”
“Time’s up,” Jace signals.
They break ranks immediately, going back to the benches as Jace drags Underhill out to the center of the room. Izzy sits down next to Jens, making a show of unwrapping her hands.
“Whatever happens tomorrow,” she murmurs. “Thank you. For your support, for all these years. Alec wouldn’t have made it without you. None of us would have.”
Jens lowers his head. “I wish I could have protected him more. He took on so much more than he should have had to, and now they’re punishing him for it.”
“Imogen hates Downworlders. Hell, the Clave hates them. Alec knew that when he made his choices, Jens. None of this is your fault.”
“Be careful tomorrow,” Jens whispers. “We’re on the brink of war. If you free Alec and side with the Downworld, you’ll be hunted by every Institute.”
“I hope it won’t come to that, but it’s better than Alec being executed,” Izzy murmurs. She looks around her and spots Kara with her face in her hands, trembling slightly. “Jens, tonight, will you watch over Kara? I’m worried about her. She’s really attached to Alec.” Izzy doesn’t know all the details of the abusive situation she escaped in her previous Institute, run by her father, but she knows enough to know that Alec saved her life by pulling her out. The fear of losing him could pull her right back to the traumatized state she was in when she first got to New York.
“I know,” Jens says sadly. “I’ll take care of her. What about you? Are you going to be okay?”
Jens is one of the few people in the Institute who knows about Izzy still being in recovery, and how stressful the last few months have been.
“I’ll hang on until morning,” Izzy smiles weakly, touched by his concern. “I have Jace. And I have a mission. I’ll be fine.”
*
Two hours left.
“For the last time, the Inquisitor is not allowing any visitors,” the Clave guard growls, his hand ostensibly on the hilt of his seraph blade.
Izzy fights the urge to roll her eyes. “Come on,” she pleads. “He’s my brother. He’s gonna die tomorrow.” She almost chokes on the last sentence, and it’s far less of an act than she’s willing to admit.
No. Alec isn’t going to die. They’re going to get him out of there.
“I have orders,” the guard says. “I’m not letting you through.”
Izzy sighs. She’s been trying to get to Alec for a while, coming back here every hour, but it’s not happening. She turns on her heels and walks back to the elevator. Jace joins her just as she gets out on the third floor and comes with her to her room. “Any luck?” he asks.
“No.”
“Me neither. Still nothing from our parents, and Clary and Magnus aren’t answering their phones.”
“Fuck,” Izzy swears through her teeth. She throws herself on her bed. It puts her face to face with Magnus’ timer, which now read 2:03. They’ve got two hours and three minutes left to save Alec, and they haven’t made any progress. What are they going to do?
The only positive point so far is that Luke and Raphael are still alive, answering their texts, so Valentine hasn’t succeeded in making the Wish. Yet. Clary and Magnus have been out of contact since they portalled to Idris, so there’s no way to know if they’re even alive.
Izzy’s phone buzzes in her hand, and she brings it up to see the text, only now realizing how tightly she’s gripping it. Jace sits down beside her to look over her shoulder.
It’s Aline.
Mom has got the Council together in an emergency meeting. The Consul is out of reach, so she’s calling the shots. What do you need?
Izzy breathes out. Finally, something is moving. Just as she moves to answer, her phone starts ringing.
“It’s Clary,” she breathes. Jace immediately straightens. Izzy taps the screen to answer the video call.
“Clary?”
“Izzy!” Clary’s face appears on the screen, bathes in sunlight. It’s almost midday in Idris. Magnus comes into the frame beside her, and Izzy lets out a breath she didn’t know she held all this time. They both look okay, if a little out of breath.
“We did it,” Clary says. “We got Valentine. He’s dead.”
Izzy closes her eyes in relief – or maybe just exhaustion. Jace says something under his breath and squeezes her against him tightly.
“He raised the Angel, but I got to him before he could make a wish,” Clary continues.
“Thank the Angel,” Izzy sighs. A part of her registers that the Angel she’s thanking is the one who would have annihilated the Downworld on Valentine’s command. “I mean, thank you, in this case. You’re certain he’s dead?”
“Yes,” Clary answers. “Magnus killed him while I talked to the Angel.”
Izzy chokes on her breath at Clary’s nearly casual tone. “You talked to Raziel?”
“Yeah,” Clary laughs. She sounds more shell-shocked than happy. She’s had a long night. They all have, but Clary and Magnus perhaps more than anyone else. “Not my first rodeo with an angel, remember? I told him that we didn’t want to make the Wish today, and he left. The Wish is safe.”
Izzy takes a moment to breathe and process that. It’s too much at the same time, she doesn’t know where to even start, but she has to keep it together. For Alec. Alec needs her to figure out their next step, and the next. He needs her to get him out of this.
The news of Valentine’s death should feel more earth-shattering than it does, but they still have work to do. Izzy puts that aside for now. They can celebrate and think of what almost happened later.
“What about the Consul?” she asks.
“We ran into him while walking to the lake,” Magnus answers. “We had the element of surprise, since he didn’t know we knew he was a traitor. We had to fight off his goons, but I think we got them all. The Consul is dead.”
“Good. Do you have conclusive proof that they were with the Circle?” Jace asks.
“Is this enough?” Clary asks, switching to her phone’s second camera. It moves for a moment before it stops on what is unmistakably Malachi Dieudonné’s face, the Circle rune prominent on his neck. “I think he had a glamour on it that fell when he died.”
“Definitely enough,” Izzy says, taking a screenshot. She thinks for a moment, as Clary brings the camera back on herself and Magnus. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to get in touch with the Council.” She pauses as Magnus nods. “We need to make sure that you’re untouchable, especially Magnus, in case there are other Circle members in the Council. You record a video of you two explaining exactly what happened tonight. Jace authorized Magnus’ portal as Head of Field Ops and Magnus will get paid for his services, so we’re in the clear on that front. Make sure the video shows Malachi and the Circle rune clearly, and that you don’t implicate yourselves. Then send it to the Institute’s servers. It will make several backups just in case.”
“Okay,” Clary accepts. “We’ll do that. Can we come back now?”
Izzy sighs. “No. I’m sorry, but if you aren’t there when the Council sends a team to the scene, this will all have been for nothing.”
“Alec only has two hours left,” Magnus says, anguish in voice.
“I know, Magnus. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he’s still alive when you get back, okay? But you can’t leave Idris, or you’ll get thrown in jail too, and it will all have been for nothing.”
Magnus pinches the bridge of his nose, but nods.
“Magnus, can you get the warlocks to bring down the wards? We’ll need you and whoever they send from the Consul to be able to come through.”
“Okay,” Magnus says. “I’ll be there the second they let me go.”
“Me too,” Clary affirms. “Guys. We’re gonna make it through. Valentine’s dead. We’re gonna save Alec. Okay? Just hold it together.”
Izzy takes a breath and gives her a small smile, feeling Jace do something similar at her side. “Thanks, Clary.”
They’re all inches away from crumbling, but they need to hold on for a bit longer. One hour and forty-eight minutes left, according to the timer.
It’s a terrifyingly short amount of time that somehow feels like an eternity. Izzy sends the screenshot of Malachi’s Circle rune to Aline, along with a quick summary of what happened, and transmits Clary and Magnus’ video to the Council as soon as she gets it. Jace paces the length of the bedroom, fists clenched. After a while, Izzy takes his hand and pulls him down to the floor, where they sit cross-legged, across from each other.
“I think Alec could use some calm right now,” Izzy gestures to Jace’s parabatai rune, swallowing her tears. It’s almost seven. Outside, the sun is rising, coming through the stained glass windows.
Jace lets out a near-sob. They still don’t have an answer from the Council, and Clary and Magnus aren’t responding to Izzy’s texts. With no official backup coming, all their plans are crumbling one by one until they’re only left with the last resort.
“Breathe with me, brother,” Izzy murmurs, holding out her hands. “Send him strength. And love.”
Jace links hands with her and closes his eyes.
They don’t move until Jens knocks on the door, fifteen minutes before the end of the timer. “It’s time,” he says when Izzy opens the door. “They’re prepping him.”
Clary and Magnus haven’t made it back.
They’ve run out of time.
#shadowhunters#malec#alec lightwood#magnus bane#mine#echo's fanfiction#hm discord#malec discord server#straight through the smoke#angst
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My father was very abusive to women, my mom was treated as a play thing to him out of fear she was his slave and had been broken in by him many times over.
My Father laughed at humiliating and physically pain fully whipping my mom. He had her clean the house nude his sadist nature reminded her to never hesitate or let him see her question his command. I had seen my mother crawling on her knees and hands a dog collar and leash attached my father leading her around all day treating her as a real dog she ate from bowls on the floor he forced her to use the yard as her bathroom, she wore a tail held by a large metal bulb that was in her bottom he locked her in a dog cage when she upset him or to show off his pet to his work friends. I hear her sobbing and crying out as father whipped her body and her private parts using enemas ginger root plugs icy hot hot sauce restraining cuffs nipple piercing attached to a chain that was hooked to her private parts. His blood daughter from a previous marriage was treated the same way. Sexual physical mental emotional broken and trained to be his slave. Disobedience was harshly punished he had other ppl just to come over and watch him beat his slaves and watch them suffer then fear driving them making them degrade humiliated displayed naked treated and dressed up as teen girls or dogs. Both forced to sexually play with each other and others as well as there master. He was the town judge so no one gave him any issue no matter what it may have been. My mom and sister had been forced to be knotted for his bday gift anal alway. He took pictures and video recording the event as later using as black mail to make them fear what ppl would say if they ever saw them. It always worked and both would be doing more perverted twisted kinky humiliation in stead.
I was told to watch or join in be a man and use his house slaves if I refused he would be insulted and they where treated worse for it.
So I sometimes would start whipping there ass already shredded by father but taking more as I made sure he felt I was doing it 100% the would be incoherently sobbing begging mercy.
I was using meth at 13 years old my mom and sister where kept coked up to make them feel more able to obey deal with pain easy and earn the drug that made them feel numb but was the very thing making them degrade themselves to make it easier to get abused..
My father was a souless pos. My first gf was 13 I was 16 she was a run away from many miles away her past was daily second by second a living hell.
She asked if I could get her high she was. Cute and very sexy submissive and obedient off the bat to me. I told her that I was looking for a gf if she wanted the job she would have a home with me. She agreed great ful for my offering she knelt down and orally sucked swallowed and kissed my cock as a that was all she could do to make me feel like she
Was great ful. I told her before I took her to my father's home what she would be seeing. She looked at me and said she was only going to serve me my pleasure my stress my boredom was to be taken out on her. She was raped by family friends and beat as well daily. If she was going to be treated that way she was at least going to say who could have her willing to be treated that way by me. She was new to meth and I still was but I was 3 years plus every day night I could be doing it. My body was used to the training grounds if meth. She was so horny and the meth made her body freely behaving as she tried to get me aroused ensuring her body was used. She saw my father walking in the kitchen mom was bent over and being fked anally hard and fast her body whipped freshly marked tears rolled down her face my sister tounge deeply in side her father's ass licking as he roughly as he could pounding her ass hole his fat long thick cock stretched out mom his tip was almost as fat making it hurt when he pulled out doing it often to add to the pain pushing it back in spit and her pussy juice only lube she was going to get. Enemas before anal always two if needed rinsed by a hose in the yard, I loud and proud told my father who never stopped fking his slave smiled and said he was proud of me finally his eyes saw a man now that I had said this was my first and new slave she was to be living with me 24/7 daisy watched my father drilling his wife father noticed and barked at her for staring she yelped scaring her and apologizing calling him Lord as his new title he loved it and allowed her to call him that. I sold a lot of dope and always had drugs money and nice shit older women and younger always trying to find out how they could be the one who could secure me and my money for them to ride easy in life. I did that shit cuzz I wished for death so I tested mortality every living second I could.
Yeah I'm fucked up morally and I admit I started to see why father enjoys his slaves. My new toy was waking me up by making my cock her priority, she stayed in my room if I left high good in my fridge and I had my own shower washing drying machine t.v computer internet. So she was not board.
I came home every time even after I was gone days in a row to see a naked girl laied out belts paddles straps tied her self up and had been ordering a list of adult toys to be used on her to better keep my interest. She loved being fked anally hard until she was crying it sore hurting badly my cum filled her ass her mouth cleaned my cock every time I finished cumming in her ass. She gave her enemas before I was home to stay clean shaved her ass pussy and body or waxed it. I bought my own apartment to sell my dope out if and when I took her to my money spring she saw women come hang out and flirt with me using sex there body pretty and they where perverted some more then me trying to sell sex or be a good trade they get high and stay and will do anything I could think of no matter what it was in return. Daisy mad yelled at one of my regular friends who I liked as a friend she was cool and we joked about that shit I told her to earn 5 grams all she had to do was strip that girl naked and paddle her bottom hard fast and long until she agreed to behave like you referred to my friend. Jenny grabbing that girl pulled her over her lap tearing her clothes off roughly holding her ass down pinning her with strength alone and infront of all the people I had in my place she thrashed that girl scolded her daisy blushed sobbing begging to be let go daisy was reduced to involuntarily calling jenny Mommy pleading with her as she regressed to a young child. I had an idea and paying in dope jenny was to teach my girl how to conduct her self. Daily once at my money tree farm daisy was training to be craving for a painful whipping it was my wish to have a girl crave pain and humiliation making it pleasure to her broken mind. Jenny had that cunt lesson fully learned in under 2 months I said I wanted a pet a fully functional trained puppy slut. 7 months daily training lessons daisy obeying her hit teacher who had broke her will by using a harsh whipping on her ass down her pussy lips and thighs inner her clit butt hole beat hard to break her of any hesitation or thought of not obeyed respected eagerly awaiting to serve the pain of a whipping was done to a point that she feared that lvl and would obey as to not earn that stage ever again. Jenny said for 13 ounces of premium ice she would be at my call anytime or place to deal with the naked bitch I had drooling over my boots licking my fingers and playing fetch with a small skinny rubber dildo.
I after thought agreed to a ounce every two months in trade for jenny to take a month off and training my bitch every way possible then I would pay her a fat ounce and she would return two months later to train daisy in something new. Even bringing a young girl her age to turn daisy bisexual. Other older and cruel men I felt with often brought there sluts with them showing off your slaves willing ness to obey any task given to it was bragging rights and showed how much control you maintain as well. Blacks mexicans whites and a Japanese guy I liked having with brought there slave new or one that was never failing to please her master would be brought on party nights and showed off for the party favor. We had drugs cash every where liqure and music the basement refurbished into a bar and striper club poles and kinky shit everywhere to treat a slave as a fking slave. 7 bitches drugged up until they hit the max lvl making them degrade themselves as we watched playing cards they crawling naked crying as there skin was bruised from a belt or other implements cages liking them in to gags so the animals where quite. The jap okatuk brought his sister her friend both whom looked young and feared okatuk as he threatening to beat them both and both fear overwhelmed them crying as they showed off playing with each other. Japs look so young and even if they where I loved training Young girls to be sluts at still a young age in that concern. We party hard two weeks straight was normal.
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And so we run (ch.3) (Adore x Laganja) - Traumathicc
A/N: In which Adore has an interesting encounter and Willam works it out
Adore has been walking for what she’s sure is over an hour. It’s not that she hasn’t walked longer distances before, but her left foot is starting to cramp and her mouth feels like sandpaper. In short, she is straight up not having a good time.
Just how big is this fucking arena?
Luckily for her though, she hasn’t run into anyone since she left the cornucopia. She can still hear Fame’s cries in her head. Detox’ laughter. The boredom in Alaska’s voice. The way they were so… casual about the death of another human being.
Poor Max.
Adore feels tears burning behind her eyes.
She cries for her. And for her partner. Had it been Laganja back there, Adore would’ve made those girls wish they’d never been born.
She can only hope that Fame is doing better now. She did have a fairly large group looking out for her back there.
Her mind wanders back to Laganja again. She should probably look for her, make sure she stays alive.
Laganja might be loudmouthed, overly sensitive and a little paranoid at times, but deep down, she’s strong.
She’s one of the strongest people Adore knows.
Adore wants her friend to win this. She wants them to win it together. She knows it’s possible. There have been games with two winners in the past. Sure, it’s only happened like three times, but it’s a possibility she feels like she needs to hold onto to stay sane.
More tears are spilling down her cheeks now. Wow. She’s really just standing here openly crying in the middle of the woods, isn’t she?
Mom was right, Laganja is rubbing off on her. She chuckles to herself and wipes her face with the sleeve of her jacket.
”Dude, are you like, crying or something?”
Adore used to dream about being a ”cool fighter” as a kid. How she, while looking gritty but amazing as fuck, would walk alone in some abandoned area, get jumped on from behind and just nonchalantly pull out a knife and say some sort of badass one liner like, “I’m from district 11, I’ll stab a bitch!” and send her stalker running before she even had to strike them.
This is not what happens though.
Instead she jumps like six feet into the air and screams like a banshee. Reality continues to disappoint.
She turns around, without realizing she hasn’t even drawn her goddamn weapon (which is just a knife but you gotta start somewhere), and-
Hey! It’s that district 1 girl from before!
Luckily for Adore, this girl doesn’t have any weapons drawn either. She is, however, holding a half empty bottle in her hand.
Again, priorities.
”Woah! Fucking,, calm down! I just…. Asked you a question….”
Her speech is a little slurred. Either that liquor is really strong, or she’s one of those people that can’t hold their drink for more than three minutes.
Adore realizes she doesn’t really know how to interact with this person.
”You’re…. Wilma? Right?” She tries. She’s still a bit on edge after sitting right next to a homicide.
”Yah, I’m -wait, hold up. Nonononono-” The girl starts snickering to herself. ”That’s all wrong. Lemme set you straight-”
She does some sort of over-the-top courtesy bow. Adore doesn’t really know what to make of the situation. Is this her ally now? She can’t say she’s thrilled at the possibility, but on the other hand, she definitely doesn’t want to kill Wilma.
“My name-“ She starts speaking like a tv host announcing themselves. “Is Willam Belli! And I-“ She takes another swig from the bottle. “Am an olcahilic!”
A bird starts chirping somewhere in the distance.
“I’m sorry what?”
“Come on girl, don’t make me do all that over again. Although the bow was kinda fun lemme just-“
And so the girl, who was apparently named Willam the whole time, starts doing the bow again. And again. And…. again. She’s basically just doing squats at this point. Adore would like to believe that she doesn’t have time for this, but nevertheless, she does. Whatever.
She was planning on setting up camp for the night anyway. Plus, some alcohol in her system sounds fucking therapeutic right about now. Might as well just team up with Wil- okay, when she thinks it out loud it sounds worse.
“So…. Willam. Do you like potato-“
Adore is immediately interrupted by a loud “OOF” coming from right behind her. She swings around again and this time, remembers she has a knife on her. Seven year old Adore is very happy right now.
To be honest, Adore doesn’t really know what she was expecting. Maybe she was afraid that the White Reaper knew about her eavesdrop earlier and had simply decided to “save her for later” or something. What she wasn’t expecting was a blonde girl in a bright red jacket lying face down in the dirt and coughing like an old man with asthma.
Behind her Willam is having a moment, sitting doubled over in the grass laughing her guts out. The girl scrambles to her feet and immediately draws a knife herself. Her eyes meet Adores.
They circle each other for a bit, neither one of them saying a word. The air is so tense Adore can practically feel it vibrating and cleaving under her blade.
Suddenly Willam is up on her feet again, and she’s walking towards them, bottle in hand. Adore is about to tell Willam to get back but this girl is faster. She immediately drops her knife, draws the bow she was carrying on her back and shoots an arrow in Willam’s direction.
Luckily for Willam though, this girl might be even more shit with a bow than Adore is. The arrow barely grazes her arm, but it does leave a wound big enough for Willam to drop the bottle in favor of clutching the spot with her hand.
“FUCK! What was that for?!” Willam yells. She seems to have forgotten her spot in a literal death game.
Suddenly the other girls eyes grow wide with shock.
“Oh my god I’m so sorry! You were coming towards me so fast and I just-“
She takes a breath.
“I just watched my entire team get slaughtered and let’s just say I’m a little on edge, okay?”
Adore lowers her knife.
“Who were on your team?”
“Sharon Needles and Trixie Mattel.”
“And-“ Adore doesn’t know if she even wants to ask who killed them. Because despite it all she thinks she already knows.
“Pearl from district 7 shot Trixie in the neck” The girl is getting choked up. It looks like she’s been too stressed to really take it all in.
“And then the White Reaper and her team cut Sharon’s throat. And- and there was nothing I could do so…. I just ran….”
It feels like someone just dumped a ton of bricks on Adore’s head. What do you even say to someone at a time like this? She doesn’t have to think for long though, because lo and behold, Willam has the perfect answer for everything.
“Damn girl, all that happened to you? TODAY??”
Adore really hates how quiet these woods are sometimes.
“You’re drunk and you’re bleeding” She snaps back. “Go lie down on that log over there and stay quiet, okay?”
Willam mumbles something under her breath, but she complies.
“You can stay with us for tonight.” Adore offers.
“We have potatoes and…” She looks back at the bottle Willam dropped. “… Whatever that is!”
“Thank you, but I really think I should get going alone. I don’t want you guys to be stuck with me, for all you know I could get you killed.”
Adore looks back at her supplies. Then at the girl. She’s only carrying her bow and arrows.
“Then at least let me give you this.”
She walks over and retrieves the sportsbag, a couple of potatoes and a water bottle. The girl gives her a stunned expression.
“I really shouldn’t-“
“I insist.”
Adore drops the bag at the girls feet. She hesitates for a few seconds before she picks it up.
“Thank you!” She smiles. “I’m Katya, by the way!”
“Adore.” Adore replies. Katya starts to take off. Suddenly Adore realizes something.
“Wait!”
Katya turns around.
“If you see a lanky girl with short, blonde hair and blue eyes, tell her… tell her that I’m looking for her!”
Katya gives her another smile.
“I will! Unless, y’know, she tries to kill me first!”
Adore chuckles. “I doubt it!”
Willam is starting to moan pitifully over on the log. Adore should really tend to her wounds. She walks back over to her new partner and starts gathering sticks laying around along the way.
Good thing she knows how make a campfire.
#rpdr fanfiction#adore delano#willam belli#laganja estranja#katya zamolodchikova#alaska thunderfuck#sharon needles#trixie mattel#pearl liaison#max malanaphy#miss fame#adore x lajanga#hunger games au#and so we run#traumathicc#tw blood#tw violence
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Its been a while since I posted in my diary. I’ve been quite busy, and been doing quite poorly the last few days. Even though the sole intention of a diary was to write in it whenever I felt downcast for some reason I haven’t been succeeding. It just seems like a chore to write lots of paragraphs on my phone; I wish I had a keyboard.
Dad’s pension came in though, a few days back, so mum says I can get a laptop soon for school with some of the money he left. I would prefer to buy myself a Macbook, I told mum this myself, but she never listens so we’ll see how that works out. I told her about wanting to get rid of my TV yet she proceeded to buy another one with the money dad left? In my opinion it was a fucking waste. What the hell am I supposed to do now. Why does nobody in this house have a sense of priority or just generally not listen to me?
I went to see Mitski (and Harry Styles) in concert a few days after my last entry. The heat was excruciating, and everyone there had such nice outfits that I felt really insecure about the way I looked. When Mitski came on it took everything in me to not cry too loudly, but at the beginning of every song I was sobbing. Embarrassing considering I felt like I was the only person there listening to the opening act, bar these two girls I saw in the crowd that were dancing their hearts out (I loved them, I hope in another life I was friends with them). When Harry Styles came on obviously I wasn’t as interested but he was funny and a few of his songs were good so despite my complaining and typical stoic exterior I was having a good time those two days.
Concerts stress me out because I always feel obligated to be screaming and laughing and crying and just openly showing my enjoyment by being loud. Thats really not me. I don’t tend to show my emotions that way, even when I’m screaming with excitement on the inside I will be sat still and straight-faced on the outside and I’m afraid people will perceive it as me being bored or annoyed, when in reality I’m just not a very exuberant person.
Umbrella Academy season3 and Stranger Things V2 dropped. I have liked a great many shows more than I like Stranger Things, its not very high up on my list of favourites despite me being a fan. But I swear I’ve never reacted to any death the way I reacted to Eddie’s/Max’s. At movies and other shows I will have sat there shocked and sad obviously, maybe crying gently if its really heartbreaking, but I’ve never really openly bawled and screeched the way I did at that. I dunno, I think the anticipation of it, and watching it live, and seeing it at the same time as everyone else in the world and not having it spoiled made it so much sadder as opposed to everything else I watch where its already been out for years and I know whats happened. Sole exception to this is Doctor Who. But Christ almighty every time I see a clip or screenshot of Eddie laying there I feel sick to my stomach and have to scroll quickly, that’s never happened even with characters I cared more about. I assume this is how my mother feels about Eleven’s regeneration. I don’t think I could rewatch this if I tried to.
28th June was my interview as I believe I’ve mentioned a great many times. I wore my smartest clothes, fretted for ages while frantically googling what questions I’ll be asked and rehearsing my answers, only for it to be a five minute interview with one teacher, many other people in the same room being ‘interviewed’ at the same time, just to go over exam stuff. All they needed to know was if I’ve already done my GCSE’s, if I had extra time, whether I studied at another sixth form before, my exam scores, stuff like that. I think it would’ve been more complicated had I not already done my GCSE’s. Alas all that happened that mattered was the man taking a glance at my scores and saying, ‘oh you should be fine to get in to the lessons you want with those scores, just bring that to enrolment in August, you’ll receive an email’ which by the way, I haven’t yet. So yeah, I have to go back again, jesus christ.
The last few days have been completely terrible. I feel so hopelessly lonely despite having friends. I’ve realised that the people who feel comfortable coming to me with their problems will often do so without asking if I’m even emotionally stable for that. Worse, I can’t even go to them for the same thing, you know? Like I’ve realised whenever I talk to them the way they talk to me, I don’t receive the same energy back, they wouldn’t listen or try help the same way I would try to do with them - it just gets brushed aside, dismissed with a ‘damn’ or ‘same’ or some other shit like that. I dunno. It never really affected me before but now I’m just realising that I feel like I have absolutely no true friends. Everything in me wants to leave the friends I’ve got when they haven’t even done anything wrong, they’re technically nice to me, but talking to them makes me feel miserable and I don’t even know why. I dunno. I want a therapist or something.
I will try to write in here more consistently. The whole intention was to vent here as nobody else was listening but alas somehow I forgot that
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1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, 13, 16, 22, 25 >:3 💜💜💜
1) Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?
Try all of them maybe??? I’ve been putting off really getting into Moonage Darkened plus Victorian Crime Novel, which I’d honest to god love to be working on right now, if it weren’t for having to rework Regardless again. Time, Regardless has been in the works for ten years now and I’m so tired of looking at it, it’s the last thing I want to be working on, so procrastination stations are go lately on all fronts. The quicker I get it done, the quicker I can work on other things, and yet…
2) What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?
Ho my god… So, I and pretty much any professional writer in the history of existence (except for some choice narcissists out there) will tell you that first drafts are born to be the literal worst. Mine are no exception. (Except Moonage. I love you and I’m glad you’re here.
At one point, I wrote a NaNoWriMo project called Interview With a Lawpire about a vampire lawyer whose defence for one of his cases was that the victim fell on the attacker’s knife. I’m so sorry about that one, universe. Yikes.
3) What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?
I generally write front to back, which, in my case, doesn’t automatically mean chronologically. Time travel’s a lot of jumping around all over the place, and I tend to have to meticulously plan down to the very last detail for every chapter and then I have to revisit those plans every time I sit down to write something to make absolute sure I haven’t created a plot hole that doesn’t line up.
5) Character you were most surprised to end up writing
Sargent. He was written with a lot of intention at the time. I knew what I wanted him to be, which was this very effeminate straight boy who loved theatre. At the same time, I also happened to be going through a conundrum of really wanting to include more trans representation in my writing but was so scared to go there because I didn’t know the first thing about accurately writing trans characters and I didn’t want to screw it up. But I somehow wound up with a strong readership of genderfluid readers once Moonage got going and Sarge started really coming out of his shell as a character. When characters start to really click with me and readers start connecting with them, they start tugging on my sleeve about who they truly are, especially if I’m not paying attention to the important things. For Sarge, it was that he was painfully dysphoric and going through a lot of questions about his gender. I’m delighted to have this vibrant nonbinary character who is unapologetically himself at all times now that we’re finally there, but man, was I a clueless mother for a good 30 chapters there…
7) When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?
Oh my god, so enthusiastic! Like, it really depends on the person, if it’s an adult who would kinda look at you funny for being into sci-fi fantasy, and particularly YA, I’m a little more timid about it. But generally I’m like “let me lay it down for you” and then make people’s heads spin because apparently there’s a lot that goes on in my head??? No, but actually. my favourite thing in the world is talking non-stop about my characters like they’re my best friend. I’m that obnoxious writer, and the more I get to have giddy conversations with people about my stuff, the more writing I do.
10) Write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?
It’s really a mixed bag with me. I have playlists to reflect every single act in Regardless or every single character arc in Moonage, and I’ll have that kind of thing in the background depending on the scene I’m writing. But sometimes, especially when I’m writing a fight scene, I’ll put on really intense movie scores like Mad Max: Fury Road or Star Wars in the background to get me properly revved up. And then other times, I need to focus so intensely, I just need to hear myself think more than anything. I mostly like to write alone, because I’m notorious for keeping initial drafts close to my chest. (When I was younger, people would sneak glances at my work and I used to hate it.) I’m not great writing in crowds, but I like writing in cafes when I can just zone right in and focus on nothing else.
12) your weaknesses as an author
Action scenes. I can’t write them. They turn into really dialogue heavy snark-fests and my characters never actually get to the physical fighting part. I also have a severe lack of wlw in my writing, which is some kind of cis hetero white girl privilege on my part and I plan on working on that in future stories. I also really need to stop murdering characters and bringing them back from the dead and shoving pregnancies into everything I ever write ever. Convoluted plots where EVERYTHING is happening in the most complicated way possible is my trademark and I don’t know how to stop tbh. My brain just automatically twists everything around. Unravelling Undone is gonna be the literal worst and it still gives me a headache trying to figure out where the plot is.
I am a flawed writer, friends! You are not alone!!!
13) Your strengths as an author
Character development! I’m a character writer, so this should shock no one who’s ever read even a fraction of my work. They’re like real people living in my head and it’s my job to tell their stories as accurately as possible. I’m also really good about novel research and making sure everything is true to real life experience. And sometimes those convoluted plots work out in my favour, because they make me look damn smart…
Also, murder. I’m really known for two things: characters and making readers cry. That about sums it up really.
16) Are there any characters who haunt you?
Many in very different ways, I think! On the one hand, I have characters like Milo who are like “Helloooo! I am HERE! Here I AM! Hey, Sophie write about meeeeee!” at all inconvenient times of my life when I’m really trying to do other important things with other more relevant characters. And on the other, I have characters like Sargent and Violet who will literally wake me up from a dead sleep just wracked with a lot of self-doubt and in need of closure for development I just haven’t written for them yet. The latter is the type that really gets me because I know I have so much left unsaid and I can’t just sit down and write about them, because Regardless is my priority right now.
22) Are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?
I mean, to a certain extent, I’m one of those writers who writes to shock (I mean, so long as it’s furthering the plot in a productive way), so I have written just about every off the wall thing under the sun. I think writing wlw characters is something I’m currently uncomfortable with because I just don’t experience female attraction, and thus can’t fathom it. I know as soon as I start writing more characters under that umbrella, that’ll go away, but that’s currently where I am right now on that front. For the most part, I won’t write in rape scenes either unless it’s absolutely essential to the plot (like Moonage was needed to showcase just how terrible shit had become between those characters in such a nightmarish downward spiral as volatile as that one).
25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of
Who wants some good unadulterated female character love? Because all of mine are goddesses.
I fucking love Lanie Schrupnink. She’s the angry feminist mom everyone deserves and I’m living for her always:
You know who else is aesthetically (and literally) killing it lately? Crystal Fucking Venimores:
Also, it would be sacrilege to not mention how shamelessly kick ass my angry magic girl, Marnie’s become.
I love them all.
#ask games#writing#writer problems#moonage daydream#moonage darkened#Victorian Crime Novel#Time Regardless#Time Undone#Time series#wanderlustwinterland
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The 4 BRUTAL TRUTHS Of Travel Life, If Ignored Will Make You Shit In Pants
When it comes to living the Travel Life that you always dreamed of, there are 4 Brutal Truths that you should know.
Doesn't matter if you're traveling once a year or once every week or even full-time Nomadic Life. These truths are like 4 legs of a chair.
Even if one breaks you can't really sit comfortably and chances are you’ll probably fall off
Although when you start travelling, and as you start experiencing more and more, the lessons and the pieces fall back into their place and the whole picture starts to become clear.
But in a nutshell here's what you need to exactly understand . . ..
Brutal Truth #1:
Taking The First Step i.e To Actually Travel.
Hey, it's so simple that even a 3 year old naked baby will understand.
If you're not actually planning your trip and going on it how the hell you're going to live the life?
Simply saying that dreaming about it is not enough. Travelling simply can't be an option in your life.
It has to be a Priority. When you make something priority and put it on your Calendar you're kind of getting serious about it.
So all these likes and follows on Facebook and Instagram on travelling pages aren't going to cut it.
You’ve to actually plan the trip by yourself...
You’ve to figure out the place you want to travel to….
You’ve to figure out the transportation…
You’ve to figure out the home-stays….
And you have to actually get out of your house and catch that plane or bus that's waiting for you.
That magical bus or plane that's waiting for you since a very long time and is going to take you on your epic adventure of your life.
If you still haven't started living a travel life, then let me tell you Camping is the best way to get started.
And yes this small little 'Checklist’ that I’ve created will save you lots of time and lots of pain in the ass down the road.
https://goo.gl/v7ojAS
Brutal Truth #2:
Money or Recurring Cashflow.
Yup, that's one truth you simply can't hide from.
Be it the plane ticket or bus ticket, or even living in a hotel or homestay, you're going to pay someone to give you that service.
That's the way it is.
Now some talk about gathering a lots of Frequent Flyer points and travelling the world by redeeming points.
But to be a Frequent Flyer you kind of have to travel frequently and buy air tickets. And c'mon there's a difference between paying and travelling by a plane and by taxi.
It's not that you will get an air ticket for $30 right?
Even buses and trains charge a decent to travel long distance and to explore even your own country.
Which kind of comes to the Brutal Truth that you do need money to Travel. At least if you're looking to explore your own country in detail.
Yes hitchhiking is a good way to travel on low budget and requires less money.
Less money - but not for free.
For you what sounds like ‘Paying’ someone for giving you a service is actually earning a livelihood for that person on other hand.
That money you paid for that home-stay is going to feed the people that bring you that service.
It's their bread and butter for their whole life. It puts food in their stomach 2 times a day…
So stop thinking like a “Douche-Traveler” that travelling should be free. And start thinking like a “True-traveler” and know everything here in this world has a purpose.
(It may not fit in our tiny little brains right now. But whoever designed this existence is to be honest a super genius).
Start saving if you've a job or start earning more by adding another source of cashflow to your income stream.
If you're already started travelling, be it camping, hiking or whichever way you’ve started living your travel life…
Travel Blogging is the simplest and most 'no-brainer’ way to live the Nomadic Life while keeping you bank account full (only if you do it correctly) without being confined to a workplace constraints and making money at the same time.
And the proper way to do this is by grabbing this Epic Travel Blog checklist that will show you the blueprint to start a highly financially successful travel blog:
https://goo.gl/VM82Km
Because most of them bomb during the first two months. So it's a necessity and not an option.
And having a proper proven strategy goes a long way. (Telling this from my portfolio of 6 years of failed marketing ventures).
Brutal Truth #3:
Lots Of Time:
Now if you're making a lot of money and have no time, well again say goodbye to travel life.
You simply can't go out and trek a hill in just 5 minutes. I mean that simply is impossible unless you're Usain Bolt and you kind of live in the mountains or near some exotic place.
But if you live in a City then you know your majority of your time is invested in making money and not living.
To be honest I don't have any other solution at this stage to make money in way too less time unless you've a proper system in place that makes money for you even while you sleep.
And that thing only exists in an online business and blogs and has an online digital product in backend . . .
Ebooks, Paid Email Newsletter, Video Courses teaching your skills to other who need those.
Right now, making and selling Video Courses is a huge business. Plus you’re helping someone to improve their lives. Both financially and personally.
Using the same system you can offer services to people online that you're skilled in while targeting the only clients that pay you more and takes less time to complete the project or task in hand.
Or you can take one high-end client who pays a lot for your services (you should know how to position yourself and charge more for you services and have a pricing strategy in place).
And takes max 1-2 days to complete the task, but the money is enough to make you live lavishly for a month or two.
(The best option for freelancers who want to travel the world and make money using the skills they have).
Which kind of fulfills the purpose of Nomadic Life.
Or you simply change the route and go the travel blogging way. Your choice.
So yeah time is a big and necessary factor in travelling.
Brutal Truth #4:
Emotional Stability:
Now travelling is quite similar to Meditation. Because when you Travel you're not kind of trapped in your own mind and expectations or belief structures about the way you see this world as a whole.
Even a depressed-as-fuck guy or gal who lives in a concrete jungle thinks this world sucks just because they think things in their life never go the way they want, starts changing mentally and emotionally.
This nature is a way too good seducer. Even greater than any pickup artist out there.
Anyone who comes in contact with it suddenly realizes that there's a whole new world out there that has been hidden from them the whole time.
Their life has been a lie till now. And there's really a thing known as ‘Inner Peace’ that exists which the City Life fools you into thinking that it doesn't.
But their are some that are so attached to the routine and people of City Life that when the time comes to travel alone and to explore the world, they kind of start losing their minds.
They start feeling depressed even when travelling. Even though they're the ones that bad mouth and complain about City Life all the time when living the typical 9-5 life.
See now that's a very dangerous stage. If you hate City Life and love Travel Life then it's okay. If you hate Travel Life and love City Life again it's okay, coz not everyone is a traveled kind.
But if you hate Travel Life and also City Life then it's an extremely dangerous situation coz no matter what you do, feeling satisfied or feeling some inner peace is way too hard as your own mind is what rejects the good things around you and is trapped in the loop of depressed thought-train.
At this point focusing on maintaining the inner balance is extremely important. Or else your own mind will turn your whole life in a giant gutter.
And believe me that’s not a good thing. Telling this from my own experience when my marketing ventures bombed badly one after another for 6 years straight….Lots of suicidal thoughts, 2 times suicide tries with cough syrup (ended up feeling extremely dizzy and puking heavily), fights with everyone around me, the whole world starts to look in shades of black and white, the potential to learn from failures and bad experiences is totally crushed.
Emotions like anger, fear, insecurity, jealousy, anxiety starts to take over your mind. Self doubt increases at a tremendous rate. The food you eat starts losing its taste. No smile can make you happy.
Seasonal depression starts to take over. Depression feels the highest in cold seasons.
Lots of days spent crying. The body starts showing signs of weakness. Your immune system starts to fall. As the direct relation between mind and body is extremely high. Lots of nightmares.
You start feeling the world doesn’t understand you. Dependency on drugs and antidepressant increases.
That’s why people who meditate regularly are way more chill than normal because the process teaches you to start taking control of your own mind.
The rest falls into it’s place. Your mind can either heal you or it can directly kill you.
And the best way I know is to simply sit in a quiet place with a straight spine, close your eyes and concentrate on your breath.
Also there's an another way or technique that complements the above and is highly potent.
You can learn more about it here:
https://goo.gl/vloUJS
So that being said, these 4 legs of Travel Life are in sync with each other.
Even if one breaks, it's kind of incomplete and you can't continue your Travel Life anymore.
Peace out.
-Satya
“The Guy Who Smiled & Lived . . .”
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