#phil protector number 1 i guess

[amid-fandoms]

pov your boyfriend got unfairly punished 20+ years ago

[skelletors]

MCYT as D&D Characters 5 - Philza

Part 5 of me turning MCYTs into playable D&D characters! Today, as you might’ve guessed, I’m taking a crack at the man, the myth, the legend, Philza Minecraft. And, of course, before we begin, the ground rules.

This will not be balanced and the builds may not be very good. This isn’t for the minmaxers (not that there's anything wrong with that), this is purely based on either stories these people have participated in or their overall persona on the internet

These characters will go up to level 20, but in no way do you have to play them to the max level to get all the mechanics that make up the character

There will be no homebrew in this build.

I will be using standard array for all of these characters (15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8) when determining the stats for these characters for my own ease of use.

Character Traits to Emulate:

Bird

Angel of Death

Old as hell

Anarchist

THE father figure

Race, Class, Background and Stats

Race: Protector Aasimar (There was a lot of debate on what race Phil would be, if he would be a full bird or more human, but I decided on Aasimar purely for the connection to celestials/gods in D&D canon. Plus, they live longer than the bird races and have some fun features!)

Ability Score Improvement: +2 to Charisma, +1 to Wisdom

Darkvision: You can see in the dark! Sick

Celestial Radiance: You’re resistant to necrotic and radiant damage

Healing Hands: You can heal people a number of hit points equal to your level once per long rest. Maybe use it on a particular pig to make sure he can keep standing…

Radiant Soul: Once per long rest, for a minute you gain the power of flight (a fly speed equal to your walking speed) and deal extra radiant damage on attacks.

Background: Far Traveler (I think this one fits the best with Phil and his connection to his hardcore world, where he’s generally implied to be from.)

Proficiencies: Insight, Perception, a musical instrument or game of your choice (let’s choose lute) and a language of your choice

Class: Ranger 11, Cleric 9 (This one may need some explanation, but the features Rangers get are just about getting knowledge about creatures quickly and fucking people up, which is a very Philza vibe. Cleric is for his connection to Mumza)

Stats

Strength: 10

Dexterity: 14

Constitution: 12

Intelligence: 13 

Wisdom: 15 + 1 = 16

Charisma: 8 + 2 = 10

The stat distribution is also somewhat self-explanatory, Phil isn’t really lacking in any stat but he’s definitely not the most charismatic and as a bird man, probably not the strongest. Not to worry, he definitely uses finesse weapons rather than heavy longbows.

Level 1: Ranger

Favored Enemy: You’re really good at tracking and know quite a bit about certain enemies. I’m not sure what Phil’s would be, maybe undead or something like that.

Deft Explorer: This is a more general replacement for the normal level 1 ability Natural Explorer. Natural Explorer makes you specialize in different areas but I think the more general expertise that comes with Deft Explorer makes more sense.

Expertise in one ability of your choice

Two more languages of your choice

Level 2: Ranger

Fighting Style: Dueling

You get a +2 to damage rolls with a weapon if you’re only holding that weapon

Spellcasting: You get some cool spells! Like Hunter’s Mark! To kill things better!

Level 3: Ranger

Primeval Awareness: You can expend a spell slot to become aware of the kind of creatures around you like abjurations, fiends, fey, undead, etc.

Sssssssssssssssssssssubclass time! The subclass being…

Monster Slayer! Fuck yeah, this subclass is exclusively about learning the weaknesses of your enemies and fucking shit up. It’s just better Hunter, I will not be taking criticism.

Hunter’s Sense: As an action, you can choose an enemy within 60ft of you and learn any immunities, resistances and vulnerabilities as long as they aren’t immune to divination. You can do this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus

Slayer’s Prey: As a bonus action, you can designate a creature within 60ft to be your victim. The first time each turn you hit the creature, you deal an extra 1d6 damage

Level 4: Ranger

ASI Time baby!

Level 5: Ranger

Extra Attack! Not much, but hey, you can hit shit more often

Level 6: Cleric

Time to finally go into those Cleric levels! Clerics are pretty fun, especially since they get their subclass at level one. That subclass, of course, being…

Death Domain!! There was a bit of debate between this and Grave Cleric, especially with how the two synergize with other members of SBI (especially a certain pig), but I chose Death Domain because it really is just a Cleric class for people who want to fuck shit up. Also, Death, Mumza, pretty obvious.

Bonus Proficiency: You get proficiency in martial weapons. Unnecessary, since Rangers already have proficiency in martial weapons, but I’m mentioning it just so I’m not skipping any features

At first level, you learn a necromancy spell from any spell list. And, when you cast a necromancy spell that targets one creature, you can target two within range and within five feet of each other

Level 7: Cleric

Channel Divinity! This is one of Clerics more fun features, and there are two options open to you. You can do this once per long or short rest.

Turn Undead! As an action, any undead within 30ft of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. If it fails, it must take it’s entire action to either run away or, if it cannot run away, take the dodge action

Touch of Death. This is something exclusive to Death Domain Clerics, and it's pretty fun. Whenever you make a melee attack, you can add necrotic damage equal to 5 + double your Cleric level

Level 8: Cleric

ASI Time! This time we’re adding a +2 to his Wisdom, bringing it to 18

Level 9: Cleric

Nothing special here but you have more spells!

Level 10: Ranger

Back to ranger baby! Rangers are so cool, they are my favorite class and if I can put my favorite CCs in the ranger class, I will

Deft Explorer Improvement: Walking speed increases by 5 (that’s 45ft for those of you keeping track) and you have a climbing and swimming speed equal to your walking speed! That’s also a 45ft fly speed, so good luck to anyone trying to escape you.

Level 11: Ranger

Supernatural Defense: Whenever an enemy makes you make a saving throw or escape a grapple, add a 1d6 to the roll. Helpful, especially with the grapple. You have a +0 to Strength, you’re not escaping anything

Level 12: Cleric

Destroy Undead: Basically an improvement to Turn Undead, if the undead you’re targeting is under a certain challenge rating, they’re instantly destroyed

ASI Time! We’re going to be adding another +2 to Wisdom, bringing it to 20

Level 13: Cleric

Inescapable Destruction: Necrotic damage dealt by Cleric spells/abilities ignore resistance to necrotic damage

Level 14: Ranger

Land’s Stride: Moving through non-magical difficult terrain costs you no extra movement, as well as being able to move through non-magical plants without taking any damage from hazards. You also have advantage on magical plant spells meant to impede movement

Level 15: Ranger

Nothing special here, but you get more ranger spells!

Level 16: Cleric

ASI Time! Now, we’re taking another feat, and it’s going to be Observant! With the observant feat, you gain a +1 to Wisdom, can read lips as well as a +5 to passive perception and investigation. And if Phil is one thing, it’s perceptive. Seriously, he could tell his eggs were being played by different admins on the QSMP insanely quickly, this fits so well.

Level 17: Cleric

Divine Strike: Your weapon attacks are infused with necrotic energy. 1d8 until 14th level, so effectively 2d8. Pretty sweet, and it fits perfectly, thematically speaking!

Level 18: Cleric

Nothing special here, unfortunately

Level 19: Ranger

Nature’s Veil: Briefly, you can turn invisible until your next turn a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus and regain all expended uses with a long or short rest. Kinda redundant with invisibility, but hey, could also free up spell slots

ASI Time! We’re going for Shadow Touched. You can add a +1 to Charisma, Intelligence or Wisdom, obviously we’re going for Wisdom. You also learn invisibility and another 1st level illusion or necromancy spell, and there are some fun ones out there. Seriously, do not discount 1st level spells, some of those things are broken. Also, I think it’s fun that both Phil and Wilbur have this feat, since they’re both touched by death. Also, Phil now has a 22 in Wisdom, so a +6. Fucking christ.

Level 20: Ranger

Magic User’s Nemesis: If an enemy is casting a spell within 60ft of you, you can effectively counterspell them by making them make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. You can only use this once per short or long rest, but it’s pretty nice to be able to counterspell if your allies can’t!

And that's pretty much it! I hope you enjoyed reading and let me know any requests for future mcyts, I accept requests for pretty much everyone

[browniefox]

Pro No Evens - YOLMT 4

Pro No Evens - You Only Live Multiple Times 4

Conspiracy Theory About Themselves And Power Time

An Against All Odds @royalflushstories and Royal Expectations @trulymightypotato fusion.

Part 1 Part 3

“Alright, let’s try this out.”

Cry sets the wine glass on the table before stepping away. Across the room, Felix rolls his shoulders, eyes set on his target. He breaths in a deep breath, holds it in his lungs for a second, and then screams. He pushes outwards with his hands, because the movement somehow helps him focus on what he’s doing, and makes the pitch higher. The glass vibrates, but he’s starting to run out of breath now. 

He pushes harder with the energy inside of him, and though he’s no longer screaming the vibrations still bounce around in the air near the glass. He makes the pitch higher and increases the volume. By now his head is starting to hurt, but he’s so close. He feels his control on the waves slip.

The glass remains in one piece. The windows, on the other hand, are completely shatter.

“I’m making Ken clean that up.”

Cry kicks a bit of the glass with the tip of hoot shoe. 

“B-but,*gasp*, they br-oke.” Felix braces his hands on his knees, trying to get some air back into himself. “I, call that, a w, *wheeze*, -win.” 

“It was pretty impressive.” Cry concedes and pats Felix’s shoulder.

“aH!” Felix jumps back as a little shock goes through him. “Could you maybe stop doing that?”

“I need to practice my powers too.” Cry shrugs and Felix just knows that if he could see the other’s face he’d have a smug look on his face. Then again, he can feel the smugness loud and clear through their, their... okay, he’s still trying to figure out/remember the name of it, but their bond thing. “Though I do think we should take a break. Much more of this and you’ll pass out.” 

“I can keep going.” Felix straightens up, but he can feel Cry’s glare. Right. Cry can feel how tired he is. “But I guess we can stop for lunch.”

“Have you been able to remember anything new?” Cry asks as they head down to the dining room. Felix shakes his head.

“You’re important to me, I’ve died for you and would do so again. I had a weird medal thing, but it’s gone now. Marzia was there, and we were married. And there were a lot of other people that are familiar, but I can never make out their faces.” It’s just the normal stuff, the stuff they review with each other every day to make sure they don’t get back into The Loop. The Loop, as in the time where Felix had tried to pretend nothing weird was going on and kept remembering, then forgetting, a bunch of random things from The Realms. 

“We’ll just have to keep waiting.” Cry hums. “It’ll come to you eventually.”

oOo

“Alright, so... we connect The Demon Prince to the Suzerian War?”

“Mm, yeah. But also make sure that his proximity to The Queen doesn’t move, I’m still convinced they’re connected.” 

PJ took out the pins holding the different words to the board and shifted them around a bit. Together, they had really started to piece a few things together. At the top of the board in bold letters was ‘THE REALMS’. Across the board was what, between the two of them, they’d been able to think about. 

PJ’s name was in a group entitled ‘Protectors’, and although it was the only definite name there they both knew that there were others. There were vague sketches of faces they’d tried to remember, but the memories were tough coming and neither were very good artists. 

Dan and Phil were grouped in with the ‘Nobles and Royals’. Their names were on one piece of paper, because they were Together in whatever was going on here. Dan kept insisting that they were married, which was very very weird but then again, most of this was. A little string connected Dan, Phil, and PJ. PJ had been their Protector, whatever it was that meant. 

The ‘cat-nose-and-whiskers’ held some kind of significance, though neither were really sure exactly what. 

There were wars slapped on the board, names of places that didn’t really exist. The numbers Three and Four kept coming up, as did Seven. And plants. Every time Dan thought about Phil, he also thought about plants - though, to be fair, even the ‘real’ Phil liked plants quite a bit, a few always existing in their apartment. 

It was strange, really. The more Dan worked with PJ, the more sure he became about what the strangeness in his head meant. It became less foggy and easier to read. Perhaps it was just getting it out in the open for once, but he felt like it was something more than that too. He hummed as he connect a string between ‘Dragon’ and ‘Land of the Squirrels’. Maybe soon, he’d know what was wrong with him.

“DAN!” 

The door to the apartment was thrown open and Dan jumped, nearly stabbing himself on a pin. PJ dropped the pencil in his hand, a half-written note about an amulet or something left forgotten as he threw himself between the open door and Dan, hand to his side like he was reaching for a weapon.

“Dan, I was so worried! I took a shower, and then when I got out you were gone! How am I supposed to make sure you’re okay if I don’t know where you are?” Phil bustled in, looking rather disheveled as he made a B-line for his friend. “I’ve been running all over town, trying to figure out where you’d gone, and asking if anybody saw you and then somebody said they saw you come back here and, and,” Phil sighed, shoulders slumping. “Please don’t do that to me again.” 

“Sorry Phil.” Dan looked down, guilt rolling off of him in waves and knot of weird worry in the pit of his stomach. 

“I... I’m glad you’re okay.” Phil ran a hand down his face. He looked so tired right now. 

“Phil.” PJ looked like he was doing his best not to freak out at being so close to Phil. After their discussion about what a Protector could mean and how PJ would literally die for either of them, Dan had hoped that PJ would get a chance to come to term with the weird feelings before having to face them head on.

“PJ, thanks for bringing Dan back.” Phil gave him a smile, a grin, and PJ looked like he was about to cry. “And for keeping him distracted by the look of it. What is this, a story or something?”

“Yeah, a story.” PJ managed through a tight throat. “I, uh, need to go now. My, ah, family might start to wonder where I am.” 

“Well, feel free to stop by any time you like.” Phil patted his shoulder. “Always good to see a nice face. “

PJ looked like he was going to say something more, but instead he just nodded and left through the still open door, closing it behind him. Phil gave another sigh, turning back to Dan again. 

“Dan, next time wait for me before you go running off.” 

“Yeah, sorry.” Dan looked down, doing his best to look guilty. And he did feel guilty... but he also was so glad to have ran into PJ and start sorting out the crazy in his head. 

“It’s really an interesting thing you’re writing over here.” Phil remarked, looking back at the board, tracing his hand on the papers. He frowned a bit. He looked down at the note PJ hadn’t finished. 

Latter that day, as Dan walked into the living room ready to go to Freddy’s, a paper with the word ‘medallion?’ was pinned next to the Protector section.

oOo

“STEPH! WE’RE HAVING COMPANY FOR DINNER TONIGHT!”

Mat’s voice rings through the house. Steph sets down the ladle, adjusting her apron a bit before going into the front hall. She can’t help but to grin at the younger cop next to her husband.

“You know Gar is always welcome.” 

“I know Gar is.” Mat says, and he sounds... weird. Steph glances at the dirt on his hands that’s been there more and more often these days. And then, somehow, she only now notices the man behind the two others. She takes a step back upon seeing the man who more likely than not had a hand in Jason’s death. 

“Oh, hello there Mr. Barnes.” Steph manages to get out without too much trouble. Her eyes snap to his hands, which have even more dirt on them than Mat. His eyes are a little puffy, like he’d been crying recently or perhaps trying very hard not to. 

“Hello Mrs. Patrick.” Barnes wasn’t quite meeting her eyes, and she wasn’t entirely sure she even wanted him to. “So sorry to intrude on you.”

“It’s alright, I always make more than enough food. It may be a little bit longer though.” 

“We’ll be waiting in the dining room.” Mat gave her a smile that said just how thankful he was for her, and she managed to give him one in return before returning to the kitchen, stirring the soup.

“She’s familiar.” 

Stephanie froze at the word’s from the mob boss’s husband’s voice drifted to her from the dining room. 

“I’m getting the weird feeling around her too.” 

This time, it was Gar. She set the ladle down again, getting closer to the door to better hear them.

“What kind of feeling? Can you describe it a bit better?” 

Her husband joins into the conversation.

“It’s sort of what I get whenever I think about either of you for too long. You’re important to me. I should protect you if I can.” There was a bit of shifting. “But it’s much stronger for M- for Lady Foxglove.” 

“So she can’t be too involved in this.” Mat concluded. 

“No.” Wade said. “Whatever our issue is, she doesn’t have to worry about it. While’s she’s getting dinner, why don’t we start compiling what we all have.”

And she stands there, against the wall, quiet as she can be, and listens as they talk. Things about medallions and protectors and nobles. Thoughts about dead people coming back to life. Dreams of strange wolves that walked on two legs and people they must protect.

They don’t question what takes her so long to prepare the meal, don’t seem to think much of it at all. 

The paper with everything they said is hidden in the back of the cupboard. 

oOo

Ethan can’t help but to think about flying.

He can’t stop looking out the window during work, looking up at the sky, and wishing he was there. Which was crazy. Absolutely insane.

But then again, so was the weird person he was serving. 

“Excuse me, waiter?” 

Ethan did his best to look like he hadn’t been incredibly distracted. 

“Yes, what can I get for?” 

“I need your help.” 

Something glinted from the pocket of their coat.

oOo

Cry screamed, jolting awake.

His hand clawed at his face, trying to find the burn scars that should’ve been there.