#pidgewrites

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my sister out here giving the support everyone should have.

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Their love was now shattered and fractured like broken glass. Sirius was a shadow of the person Remus had fallen in love with, and Remus was sure Sirius felt the same way about him.

And maybe it was selfish, asking Sirius to stay when he was clearly so ready to leave.

But Remus never said he wasn't selfish.

Because a small part of them remained intact, sparking a fragile hope that with time, maybe all these little fractals could be mended.

Maybe everything would be okay.

Once the war was over, once they were no longer soldiers in a never-ending battle.

New Story for my favorite damp dude's birthday!

It's got everything!

Unresolved Trauma

Internalized prejudice

Angst with very little comfort

Answers to questions we've all had

And my personal favorite

Mpreg!

[pid-widgin]

helloooo! i’m new here to your account and fics. please forgive me if you’ve already been asked this, but are you still updating ‘et au final, ça vaut le coup.’ i know that probably sounds so insufferable to be asked but i was just wondering! i’m very hooked on this series :)))

You are totally fine my dear❤️

I am still planning to update with a final chapter, I know the story got left on kind of an odd spot, but if I'm being honest between college, kids, and having just clawed my way out of a depression hole after six months of crippling anxiety, I havent put a ton of effort into the final chapter. I have a clear vision, but not much written out.

So long and short, yes I will be updating it, I just don't know when.

[pid-widgin]

am I supposed to be doing a ten hour VaDOE training?

am I spending my free time plotting up a Dexter AU murder husbands story for spooky season?

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for my @wolfstarbingo2024 *free space* I give you the second installment of our Amsterdam!

Snippet below the cut off ❤️

And that's all it is anymore- a great big science expirement. 

There's two hypotheses:

1. If you put a happily married couple through tremendous amounts of stress, how long until they begin to resent one another?

2. If you take a person who's been through the worst kind of trauma, plant the idea of having a baby and being able to give them the life you never had, and then make it impossible to conceive said baby, how long will it take for that person to fall apart?

The answer is two years.

The last three days Sirius has barely seen Remus; who insists it has nothing to do with their robot like sex and the fact that most of Sirius's thoughts are spent obsessing and agonizing over something that doesn't even exist.

But Sirius isn't stupid, and can see the writing on the wall.

Remus is getting tired of this.

And he doesn't know what to do- doesn't know how to fix this. Because then he would have to admit that there was a problem, and he didn't want to do that. 

Didn't want to admit that maybe things just wouldn't work out for them, that there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

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Are u gonna update ‘these ugly, wonderful things’? I check almost everyday 🫣

I plan to! I've been working on a final edit of the next chapter and hope to have it out over the weekend ❤️

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Following @impishtubist advice and finishing my shit this December, so here's the new chapter of et au final, ça vaut le coup.

"I don't think that's ever going to happen, by the way."

Regulus, who must have almost been asleep, mumbles something before rolling his head in Sirius's direction.

"Having a baby in the car. That's never going to happen."

He hasn't said it outloud to anyone besides Remus. Not even James, because James burns a little too bright to try to snuff out the light. But Regulus, well Regulus can take it.

"You can't control it when it happens, Sirius," His brother sounds irritated almost, sleep heavy in his voice.

"No, I mean that I'll never have a baby. Like, at all."

And that must have done something, because Regulus sighs and flips back over onto his side with effort so that he's looking directly at Sirius's profile.

"It will. It just... sometimes these things take time-"

"We stopped trying."

[pid-widgin]

Hymn for the Weekend chapter 6 ❤️

And he doesn't know who he's fooling, maybe himself more than anyone else, but there's no way in hell that he hates Remus.

Not when he's watching him lean back against the concrete steps, balancing on one elbow as he blows smoke rings into the early evening sky. Not when the dying rays of light are painting him an odd shade of gold, dazzling and bright and Sirius knows the fine line that he was walking.

That even with that sinking stone of fear and rage burning in his gut, his heart would always skip a beat just at the mere sight of him. That he would spend eternity feeling the phantom weight of an arm slung over his waist in those last few moments before he was fully awake; that state in between dreams and reality. That he would be seventy years old in a care home, and he would remember the smell of Camel Blues on a summer breeze.

Sirius loved Remus, would always love Remus, and that love would eclipse anything else.

But Sirius also knows that he can’t be the first one to break.

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Just a little taste of Between Here and The End of the Universe.

Anyways, there was the older man at the bar, with a kind smile and an argyle sweater vest and Remus thought that they would probably hit it off. The man was wearing socks with sandals, and not even the cool Jesus-esque leather sandals, but fucking Keens with white and grey tube socks.

He looked like he enjoyed Indie music and probably ate shredded mini wheats and took a multivitamin every day.

He looked comfortable, like long evenings spent cuddled on the couch reading a book and the usual Tuesday night dinner spot at the cute little pho shop down the street.

He looked like everything Sirius wasn't.

[pid-widgin]

Friends.

I FINALLY updated Hymn for the Weekend.

It's only been -checks watch- 5 months.

It's fine.

🌑🌘🌗🌖🌕🌔🌓🌒🌑

"Er- Sirius?"

He turns, expecting James but instead meets the blushing face of Benjy.

"The bathroom is the other door," Benjy nods his head in the direction of the end of the hall.

Sirius stands frozen in the hallway, hand still poised in the air as he looks at Benjy.

His face is slightly asymmetrical up close, one eyebrow just a bit higher than the other and his nose is crooked. He has a scar splitting his upper lip, and Sirius wants to taste it.

Rip it open and lap at the blood that spills, and for a moment his stomach rolls at the thought. But it doesn't stop him from staring at that scar, now a silvery pink; Benjy probably doesn't even remember the pain from it.

"Hey," Benjy's eyes crinkle in concern, "Sirius, are you okay?"

Sirius doesn't answer, instead letting his eyes flicker up to meet Benjy's. 

A warning.

A chance to stop what's about to happen.