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brownstonearmy · 5 years

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2019-09-13: Perfume, Piggies, and Piddles

Wednesday June 24 (Morning)

Kalani is still recuperating from their recent journey to Mechanus, but the rest of the party are in stable enough shape to go into work this morning. Along the way, a group of hunters are overheard talking about the bounty for dead gnolls being increased to 2 silver pieces per intact carcass. Once inside the office, the Dave dishes dirt on all the stuff that's been going on during the party's two week absence.

Dave and Tyrik have been working overtime to keep things afloat, and work orders have been piling up. The mayor is running several sessions of a workshop this week called "How To Not Get Kidnapped: A Presentation By Mayor Shepherd Dunwall," and participation is suggested for all municipal staffers. Since the party has already successfully escaped after being kidnapped, Dave is cool with everyone skipping out on the presentation because there are more important things to do.

Strange things happened during the full moon two nights ago. A strong beam of light broke through the clouds and centered itself on the compound where the Order of the Immaculate Shadow are sequestered. This spooked some of the citizens, and caused a dramatic uptick in reported sightings of werewolves. At three separate locations, it was reported that a werewolf-looking creature was defecating and urinating inside the city limits. Cleaning up individual poops and piddle puddles isn't usually handled by SHART, but the citizens are afraid to deal with the mess on their own for fear of catching "Werewolf Disease" (AKA lycanthropy).

Grieg grabs a shovel and a hand cart, and then the party sets out to gather some better work gloves for the occasion. They make a quick jaunt over to Oneida's, a glovemaking shop owned by (you guessed it!) Oneida Cobblepot. Lucky picks up three sets of long embroidered gloves on sale for 1gp, while Grieg gets a pair of plain gloves that come up past the elbow. Q is feeling like calling themselves "Daffodil" today, and spends a bit longer searching for the perfect gloves for today. Q/Daffodil eventually decides on some bright red work gloves with black lace trim. Q wants to accessorize with matching footwear, but Oneida only sells gloves. Oneida tells them that there is an orc named Zagga who makes quality artisanal shoes.

The party opts to proceed to the job sites to clean up the mess instead of getting matching footwear, and they strike out to the northeast portion of town near the fighters guild to assess the situation. Along the way, everyone sees several signs posted on trees and buildings. It's a lost pet poster where the owner of the perfumery, Peggy-Ann Sweetbreeze, is looking for her pig. Although they don't see any signs of the pig on this leg of the journey, the first poop site is not hard to find. There's a sizable turd on the ground next to a building, and a 10-foot chalk circle has been drawn around it to keep people from wandering into the Danger Zone. Also inside the confines of the Danger Zone is a wall covered with a particularly caustic urine splatter. Lucky takes one look at it and prestidigitates it away. Easy peasy!

Except Grieg was hoping to investigate the poop to get more clues about what they're dealing with. There are more poop sites to visit, though, and the party heads south toward the shipping and arts district.

They find the second site without much trouble, but Grieg sees the poop first and swoops in to investigate. He takes a stick and gives it a poke. His determination is that it's from some sort of mammalian carnivore, but that is about the extent of what he can tell. Lucky, on the other hand, notices some greasy-looking black hairs in the dirt. She casts Mage Hand to pick them up and get a closer look. The hairs smell foul and don't look like they belong to some sort of wolf.

Lucky takes out the letter from Half-Nut and suggests that maybe they're actually on the trail of a gnoll instead of a werewolf. The signs match up.

As they're leaving the second site, the party sees Jangles setting up some complicated looking measurement tools near a sewer manhole. Jangles is feeling particularly lady-like today and is collecting calibration data for her next project codenamed "Peppermint Breeze." Jangles asks the party if they would be willing to assist her with temporarily blocking some sewer tunnels with boards in order to pressurize an underground chamber with gas. Although wary of exactly what this experiment might entail, the party agrees to participate.

Q and Grieg clamber down through the manhole and block the tunnel's airflow. Stinky sewer gas begins building up in the chamber. Jangles gives Lucky a small silver cannister with an experimental compound to be opened once the manhole cover is in place. Lucky follows into the chamber and Jangles replaces the manhole cover. The pressurized gas is too much for Q and Grieg to hold back, and the boards fly open. Lucky's Mage Hand uncaps the cannister, which sizzles for a moment before explosively reacting with the sewer gas and blowing the manhole cover sky-high.

Dazed and deafened, the party emerges from the sewer to find an excited Jangles. The experiment was a massive success! She pays the party 100GP per person, hands over a Handy Spice Pouch, and gives Lucky a sample of the X-Ray Tincture she had commissioned Jangles to create. Jangles packs up her things and the party heads off to deal with the last known werewolf poop sighting.

The third poop is located in a densely-populated working class neighborhood in the warehouse district on the riverwalk. Crowds of people are going about their daily business, though there is a curiously empty spot that everyone seems to be avoiding. Grieg pushes his way through the crowd. "Everybody back up! I'm the Pee-Pee Poo-Poo Man!" he yells. Audible gasps erupt from the crowd. Is someone going to deal with this awkwardly-dropped turd on someone's doorstep?

Members of the crowd are afraid for the safety of the approaching party members. Grieg assures the crowd with a wave of his hand. "I'm an orc; I don't get Werewolf Sick." He makes enough space for Lucky and Q to get through. Lucky blasts the area with Prestidigitation to clean things up, and the crowd cheers.

A tearful lady emerges from the house. She had been trapped in her house for two whole days because of the Poop on the Stoop. With that contagious werewolf dropping disposed of, she is free to live her life as she intended.

By now the party is pretty convinced that the serial shitter is a gnoll, and they trek south of the river toward the perfumery to speak with Peggy-Ann. Grieg notices some relatively recent pig tracks as they cross the bridge. Time to head into the woods in search of pig and/or gnolls!

South of the perfumery and sawmill, Q hears the sound of an animal whining. Following Q's keen ears, the party comes upon a cream-colored pig foraging for food. Unbeknownst to the pig, four hyenas are sneaking up on it.

Lucky casts Minor Illusion to make the sound of a roaring dragon, which causes a tiny stampede as both the pig and the hyenas flee from the sound. Lucky makes a signal to Grieg, and he grabs her with one hand and starts sprinting toward the pigs. Q dashes after the pig to keep it safe from the hyenas.

Lucky creates another illusion, this time of a large pile of apples. Missy Piggums stops in surprise and tries to nibble unsuccessfully on the illusory apples. Grieg drops Lucky, who fishes a real apple out of her bag and offers it to the pig. Over the next several minutes, the party lures Missy Piggums back to the perfumery.

Peggy-Ann is thrilled to see her beloved Missy Piggums returned safely. Peggy-Ann is preparing for the launch of her new perfume tonight, but the event preparation hasn't been going smoothly because she's been so preoccupied with finding Missy. Also, she hired a relatively famous Elven bard named Caelynn Tilathana for the event, but she disappeared last night and there's not a lot of time to find a replacement. Peggy-Ann notices that Q is of the bardic persuasion, and asks if they would be amenable to performing as Caelynn just so Peggy doesn't have to change the posters she's set up all over town. Q agrees on the condition that the rest of the party be able to attend the function.

Lucky volunteers to be Q/Caelynn's bodyguard, provided she can invite Hilaria as her +1. Grieg will also be an entertainer, one who specializes in interesting feats of pure skill and athleticism. The event starts just after sundown, so everyone makes plans to meet back at the perfumery by then.

As the party walks back toward home, there is a thundering crash of trees being knocked over. It is a house that walks atop four massive chicken legs! The house comes to a stop in front of Lucky and opens the door. Two humans Lucky has never seen before poke their heads out. From their unusual speech patterns, Lucky figures out that this is Kosja and her clutchmate, Turalisoth. They have transformed themselves into "soft-skins" thanks to Jangles' Jumble Juice. Now that they can pass as humans, they have decided to open up a restaurant in town.

Unsure of what to offer at a human restaurant, Kosja asks for advice. Lucky suggests eggs, while Grieg suggests salads with cheese. Kosja understands the appeal of eggs, but a bowl full of sad leaves is not as readily understandable. And cheese is a completely foreign concept. Grieg considers trying to explain what cheese is, but opts to avoid an in-depth discussion of the social implications of cheese and the game concludes for the evening.

How will this situation get resolved? Stay tuned next time for more!

#dungeons and dragons #adventure log #5e #fishdavidson #shits and giggles #poster #lost pet

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