#pirates smp marnie

[the-fandom-queenxox]

UHHMMMM HELLO I JUST LOOKED AT THE TAGS!! HOOKS FUCKING DEAD?!?!??!?

Edit: just learned that Marnie (the nightingale leader) was also killed, RIP...

[o0ogalaxyroseo0o]

i love taking notes about the pirates smp npcs, because on one hand we have normal stuff like finn the gardener and cael the sun-worshipping kite, and on the other hand we have Marnie Gatlin, the leader of nightingale who’s also a kestrel who’s also a fan of mrmadspy who’s also a real person who’s also an ai chatbot.

[cookie-0wo]

This is very messy...

[starrysymphonies]

I’m catching up on lore and???? Owen was missing for FOUR WEEKS???? ONE MONTH OR SO??? AND ONLY WATERMUNCH LOOKED FOR HER??????

[piratessmpnpcs]

☆°~ uhmmm npc update

Hook fucking died

[qquackblr]

a marnie letter wrecks me every time im just

[dragonwingthewingless]

You know after the last couple of days I feel like listening to Ashes by The Longest Johns is appropriate. Now if you excuse me I'm going to go back to being emotional over fictional characters.

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

12 november 2023 pirates smp lore recap

the crypts

the crypts are now open! they can be accessed using tokens (red crystals) bought from the curator npc for 1000 gold each

only at most 2 people can enter a crypt at the same time

inside are timed puzzles! it's kind of like the sands of time in there, and if they don't solve the puzzle in time, they die and are sent back to the entrance

the reward for completing a crypt is lots of gold and resources, and also a lore book on a pirates worldbuilding story!

the only livestream povs that don't involve visiting a crypt today are apokuna, graecie, and krowfang, all of whom are involved in the lore

the cruppy cleaning crew

p!apo finds cruppy messing around with marnie's statue and is mad at it for disrespecting the dead

he goes to find p!martyn to reassemble the cruppy cleaning crew (team 3c from now on)

team 3c kidnaps cruppy using a lasso and drags it to monkey island for interrogation

p!graecie is watching this happen and recruits kuervo to go rescue cruppy

on the way to monkey island, team 3c sails past p!el on her ship while she's going back to the faction isles. this will be important later.

team 3c locks cruppy in the cage on monkey island and interrogate it for information, torturing it with a lava bucket if it doesn't give a satisfactory answer

p!graecie and kuervo get there and free cruppy, and basically go off on team 3c for torturing a creature with the mental capacity of a small child

in an attempt to justify their actions, p!martyn says that the entire faction isles has been selfish and only caring for themselves (incorrect), and p!apo cites that corpse desecration is wrong (gets shut down because "small children" have no concept of death)

patchlings W, team 3c L, also p!graecie officially announces being marnie's appointed successor as nightingale faction leader, so yes, she can tell p!apo what to do now

p!apo also kind of burns p!graecie with a lava bucket around this time

in between all this, p!martyn decides to get out of dodge but passes p!el's ship on his way back to the isles

p!martyn then decides to go after p!el and kill her for allegedly snitching on team 3c kidnapping cruppy

meanwhile, p!el just came out here to look for crypts with p!bek and has no clue what p!martyn is even mad about

back on monkey island, p!apo runs off to apologize to and consult with someone called alphie

p!graecie comforts cruppy and tries to take it back to the isles

kuervo is still debating whether to leave the faction isles behind, but on his way back, p!bek's boat (which he was using since he couldn't find his own) gets struck by lightning and sunk. he is last seen drowning. there will be a lore stream tomorrow

what we found out from the torture-interrogation (at least as cruppy claims)

cruppy is an ally to the faction isles

it swam to the isles by itself on day 1 after recruitment day

cruppy freaks out whenever it hears the name 'ivy'

it is evasive about how it is related to the corruption, and if the cultists and iris are bad or not

cruppy has always been what it is now; it is not sandro caravel in disguise or anything

it first came into existence before recruitment day

it doesn't know anything about mufasa and the sabertooth clan

[hi-its-chaos]

Pirates SMP Brain worm where p!Owen froze faster during her containment with the cultists.

She's all alone in the cold cave that's seeming terrifyingly colder by the minute. Voices from the past are haunting and he swears she's going crazy on her own like this. Marnie was good company while she was here, somehow keeping the frost off Owen's fingers, but they've taken her away now and Owen feels colder. And colder. And colder.

She first noticed it wasn't just the cold of the cave when it started getting harder to move. The stiffness and the terrible pallor of her hands made it all the more damning. Something was wrong. The whispers. The counting. The freezing cold.

It all came to a head when he found himself huddled in the corner just wishing for something, anything, to bring warm back into her body. Her feet stiffened, she couldn't move. What was happening! In a last desperate ditch, Owen reached towards her captors and tries to get a word out through freezing vocal cords. Someone. Please-.

[dykeobsidianblock]

Characters I personally write for

These are the characters I personally write for, if you don't see a character on this list than it means I either dont write for them or forgot to add them to this list. If youre unsure than ask whether or I write for them

Red means I only write romantic x reader for them, Blue means I only write platonic/familial x reader for them, Green means I only write sexual x reader for them and Pink means I write romantic, sexual and platonic/familial x reader for them

Under the cut since it ended up getting longer than I expected

The Arcana:

Lucio

Muriel

Portia

Nadia

Volta

Vlastomil

Nafizah

Nahara

Natiqa

The Muppets*

The Electric Mayhem (Dr Teeth, Lips, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot and Animal)

Walter

Miss Piggy

Denise

Constantine

Rowlf

Clifford

*I only write for human versions of the Muppets

Empires SMP (Both s1 and s2):

Scott

Jimmy

Pixl

Lizzie

Pearl

Katherine

Shubble

Gem

Sausage

Oli

False

Joey

Life Series:

Grian

Scar

Bigb

Ren

Jimmy

Mumbo

Lizzie

Cleo

Martyn

Pearl

Scott

Impulse

Tango

Origins SMP:

Scott

Sparklez

Create SMP:

Keralis

Scar

Tango

Zedaph

Witchcraft SMP:

Joey

Scott

Cleo

Shubble

Hermitcraft:

Grian

Scar

Mumbo

Xisuma

Keralis

Ren

Renbob

Hypno

Doc

Gem

Wels

False

Stress

Pearl

Cleo

Zedaph

Wormman

Impulse

Tango

Pirates SMP:

Sausage

Martyn

Oli

Pokemon:

Champion Cynthia

Elite 4 Hassel

Champion Alder

Commander Kamado

Team Rocket Jessie

Team Rocket James

Trial Captain Kiawe

Team Aqua Archie

Team Magma Maxie

Professor Kukui

Champion Steven Stone

Gym Leader Iono

Gym Leader Kofu

Gym Leader Katy

Gym Leader Lt. Surge

Professor Birch

Professor Rowan

Subway Master Ingo

Subway Master Emmett

Elite 4 Marshal

Elite 4 Siebold

Elite 4 Drasna

Elite 4 Malva

Elite 4 Wikstrom

Champion Diantha

Gym Leader Wulfric

Aether Foundation Wicke

Team Skull Guzma

Ultra Recon Dulse

Ultra Recon Zossie

Gym Leader Milo

Champion Leon

Gym Leader Raihan

Gym Leader Melony

(Former) Champion Peony

Gym Leader Nessa

Gym Leader Kabu

Galaxy Clan Cyllene

Professor Laventon

Diamond Clan Iscan

Diamond Clan Adaman

Pearl Clan Palina

Rival Arven

Rival Nemona

Gym Leader Ryme

Teacher Tyme

Professor Sada

Teacher Raifort

Teacher Saguaro

Stardew Valley:

Elliott

Clint

Gunther

M. Rasmodius

Marnie

Haley

Maru

Demetrius

Leah

Seven Deadly Sins:

King

Diane

Escanor

Gilthunder

Howzer

Gowther

Jericho

Guila

Griamore

Naruto:

Kakashi

Sakura

Naruto

Sasuke

Gai

Rock Lee

Tenten

Kankuro

Choji

Obey Me:

Asmodeus

Lucifer

Leviathan

Luke

Simeon

Diavolo

Beelzebub

Barbatos

[murder-senpai]

F A N F I C T I O N

Oh, hello there!! My name is Murder-senpai! I’m new here to tumblr sooooo don’t mind me being awkward n’ stuff. So this is gonna be like, what fandoms and characters I write for sOoooOoOo

AU’s and other stuff I’ll do: ABO, genderbend, hanahaki, soulmate, supernatural/power, soft yandere/ stockholm syndrome, coffee shop, modern, fantasy, baby/kid versions of characters, babysitter, neko, inu, kitsune, post apocalyptic, zombie, flower shop, book store, dragon, fairy tale, high school/college, mafia, pregnant, steampunk, merpeople, pirate, pirate/merperson, prison, reincarnation, famous, vampire, werewolf

There is more shit I’ll do but I can’t really think anymore so just request

(reader insert crap)

I will NOT do nsfw. This is a christian minecraft sever 

You CAN request multiple character/poly and platonic stuff

If your not specific, I will choose between headcanons or a fic/drabble

If you request angst, I will give it a fluffy ending unless requested otherwise

Please be specific in your request   ex: reader gender (fem, male, gender neutral)

Edit: I will now take character x character, character + character platonic stuff, aus (like, medevil bnha, or a story about friendship or enemies to friends or adoption, anything really), and stuff like that

Current hyperfixation (aka, what I will probably write better for/ do more): dream smp

Will probably put the scenario in a non specific arc

Fairy Tail:

Natsu

Gray

Loke/leo

Laxus

Sting

Rouge

Gajeel

Zeref

Jellal

Jackal

Lucy

Levy

Juvia

Guildarts

Freed

Erza

DBH:

Connor

Hank

Markus

Gavin

nines

ATLA:

Aang

Zuko

Sokka

Katara

Toph

mai

ty lee

azula

BNHA:

Izuku

Katsuki

Shouto

Denki

Eijiro

Tenya

Toshinori

Shouta

hizashi

fumikage

neito

mirio

takami

hitoshi

inasa

Enji

keigo

rumi

momo

mina

ochaco

dabi

shigaraki

overhaul

sir nighteye

kurogiri

toga

twice

Inuyasha:

Inuyahsa

kagome

naraku

miroku

koga

sesshomaru

sango

BNA:

michiru

shirou

nazuna

alan

marie

pinga

Sherlock:

Sherlock

john

moriarty

mycroft

greg

molly

Harry potter:

harry

ron

hermione

draco

cedric

Black Butler:

ciel

sebastian

bard

finny

ash

claude

alois

triplets

william

grell

ronald

undertaker

joker

dagger

agni

soma

pluto

beast

lizzy

mey-rin

ran-mao

edward

aleistar

vincent

real ciel (I refer to him as astre tho)

snake

charles grey

charles phipps

gregory

cheslock

joanne

maurice

herman

clayton

lawrance

mcmillan

edgar

blavat

seiglinde

MLB:

Marinette/ladybug

adrien/chat noir

gabriel/hawkmoth

nathaniel

marc

luka

alya

nino

felix

bridgette

chloe

TPN:

emma

ray

norman

don

gilda

leslie

Undertale:

sans

papyrus

frisk

toriel

chara

asriel

asgore

grillby

gaster

mettaton

blooky 

AU’s- underfell, mafiatale, mafiafell, underswap, swapfell

Beastars:

legoshi

haru

louis

juno

gouhin

melon

Gravity falls:

dipper

mable

ford

wendy

robbie

bill

AU-reverse falls, monster falls

SVTFOE:

star

marco

tom

toffee

Hazbin:

alastor

angle dust

charlie

husk

vaggie

lucifer

val

vox

Pokemon:

Gladion

ash

clemont

serena

james

jesse

zeraora

lucario

mewtwo

zacian

zamazenta

literally any pokemon but those are my fave(and human versions ofc either is fine)

guzma

kukui

alain

lysandre

bede

hop

leon

milo

allister

raihan

marnie

piers

ACNH:

tom nook

raymond

lobo 

kabuki

lolly

marshal

Isabelle

redd

fang

Avengers:

tony

steve

bucky

clint

natasha

dr. strange

thor 

loki

peter

Voltron:

lance

keith

shiro

hunk

lotor

pidge

Aggretsuko:

tadano

haida

hyoudou

The hobbit:

literally JUST smaug

MLP:

twilight

pinkie

apple jack

rainbow

fluttershy

rarity

discord

Maid sama:

takumi

misaki

shoichiro

the three idiots

aoi (totaly gives off a ciel/lizzy vibe don’t even lie)

sotaro

tora

kanade

kuga

koma

yujiro

shosei

Naruto:

naruto

sauske

kakashi

itachi

gaara

neji

shikamaru

kurama

kiba

OHSHC:

tamaki

haruhi

hikaru

karou

both twins

kyoya

hunny

mori

kasanoda

nekosawa

Cells at work:

white blood cell

red blood cell

killer t cell

Little witch academia:

atsuko

diana

sucy

lotte

amanda

andrew

louis

frank

Pucca:

pucca

garu

tobe

abyo

Glitter force:

emily/Miyuki

kelsey/Akane

lily/Yayoi

april/Nao

chole/Reika

ulric/wolfrun

rascal

Glitter force doki doki:

ira

maya/Mana

rachel/Rikka

clara/Alice

mackenzie/Makoto

TMNT(2012):

leonardo

raphael

michelangelo

donatello

splinter

april

ROTG:

aster bunnymund

north

pitch

sandy

jack

tooth

Soul eater:

death the kid

soul 

black star

maka

stein

Aot:

levi

eren

armin

mikasa

jean

erwin

IT(2017):

pennywise

richie

beverly

eddie 

stanley

ben

bill 

henry

patrick

victor

belch

bowers gang

losers club

kamisama kiss:

nanami

tomoe

mizkui

kurama

otohiku

mikage

jiro

The outsiders:

dallas

darry

ponyboy

johnny

two-bit

steve

soda

Diabolik lovers:

shu

reiji

ayato

laito

kanato

subaru

yui

karlheinz

kou

azuza

carla

ruki

richter

yuma

shin

Hamilton:

alex

john

king george

george washington

lafayette

hercules

philip

aaron

thomas

Venom(2018):

eddie/venom

Tokyo mew mew:

ichigo

zakuro

tart

pie

Kisshu

Fran bow

Fran

remor

itward

mr. midnight

Steven universe

steven

connie

pearl

amethyst

larz 

sadie

garnet

lapiz

peridot

spinel

Haven't you heard i'm sakamoto

sakamota

Shou

Gargantia on the verdurous planet

ledo

amy

Animaniacs

yakko

wakko

dot

Over the garden wall

wirt

beast

Sonic

sonic

tails

knuckles

amy

shadow

Snow white with the red hair

Shirayuki

zen

obi

The sacrificial princess and the king of beasts(manga)

Leonhart

Sariphi

Lanteveldt

Anubis/Sirius

Jormungand

Fenrir

Nir

Joz

Ilya

Beetlejuice(musical)

beetlejuice

lydia

Creepypasta

Jeff the killer

slenderman

offenderman

trenderman

splenderman

ticci toby

masky

hoodie

BEN drowned 

eyeless jack

laughing jack

homicidal liu

zalgo

clockwork

Jason the toymaker

puppeteer

Yu-gi-oh

Seto Kaiba

FNAF

Freddy

bonnie

chica

foxy

golden freddy

toy freddy

toy bonnie

toy chica

mangle (male and female ver pls specify)

marionette ^

springtrap

william afton/ purple guy

baby

funtime freddy

ennard

nightmare freddy

nightmare bonnie

nightmare chica

nightmare foxy

nightmare mangle

fredbear

nightmare fredbear

Cuphead

cuphead

mugman

devil

king dice

Bendy and the ink machine

bendy

boris

alice 

Duck tales

Scrooge (aged down tho)

webby

della

donald

louie

dewey

huey

launchpad

lena

Dream smp

everyone (all platonic. Will do reader stuff, but would prefer more character +character interactions, specifically, SBI. PLSSS give me sbi stuff, ill marry you)

[piratessmpnpcs]

If Marnie Gatlin has a gun , she would have ended the horrors I think

[piratessmpnpcs]

☆°~ quick npc update !

MARNIE GATLIN FUCKING DIED !?!?!?

[piratessmpnpcs]

☆°~ Final npc death count !

In order from : Marnie , Hook , Robar Zhek , Jeffrey , Flam , Claud , Saffrie , Enchantress , Digby , Finn , Katie , Pip , Iris , Ivy , and Cruppy !

Most of the others are killed by the cultists , Robar Zeik got pushed off into the hole by Pirate Tim , Ivy killed Iris , Cruppy Jumped off , Iris turned into a statue and Oli Orionsounds killed Pip !

If there's anyone I miss feel free to tell me !

Edit : Jeffrey got squished by anvil by Blondebeard ! [ aka martyn itlw evil mode ]

Edit Edit : Today I learned that Flam died by Cultists , I'm not devastated over this information I'm NOTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

2 december pirates smp lore summary, aka WHAT HAVE WE LEARNT TODAY my god this is messed up

obvious disclaimers: spoiler warning, everything is roleplay

cw for livestreams:

apo: shouting, mentioned past torture of a child-like non-human entity (non-graphic)

kuervo: food insecurity mention, grief (via p!water), guns and gunshots, what we in the present day would call human rights violations (on at least 2 different levels), self-harm (hitting onself to ensure consciousness), shaky breath (possibly panic attack?)

apo summary (~30 mins)

apo finds graecie at the nightingale tavern, who confronts him about his motives

they sail to the "touching the stars" quest site for a more peaceful environment (graecie's idea)

graecie was trying to hard to stay calm, bless her

apo tries to justify himself, in that he came here in search of freedom and that he was trying to protect the isles from the "evil" of cruppy (whom he is convinced is a manifestation of the corruption and is gonna kill everyone)

he also thinks alphie will approve of his actions… and considers but doesn't tell graecie about martyn threatening him to kill acho (1 dec)

graecie continues to defend cruppy in that it, according to her, has the mental age of a toddler and that apo is compromising his "morals" for something he hasn't even been successful in achieving yet

graecie decides to stay at the quest site to mull things over while apo takes her boat (with permission) to go back to the isles

she also says that she refuses to give up on apo even if apo has given up on the nightingales (her words, summarized)

apo now believes he has to do something he doesn't want to do

apo lore revelations

apo might know more about cults than he initially lets on

the golden necklace he wears is a locket containing a picture of him and the former owner of the locket (probably alphie)

kuervo summary (~1 hour)

previously on pirates smp (1 dec), kuervo saw a cultist at the door to the kite tavern and got knocked out and yoinked

he wakes up in the amethyst cave where the rescue mission happened back on 13 oct (it takes him a while to realize this), and can't find a way out

he decides to take a nap because he's too tired to keep looking for a way out (chat was panicking because they thought he was gonna die if he did sleep)

cut to a shot of kuervo in the marnie cage getting zapped by a petrification beam and barely consciously trying to break out (overlaid with heartbeat effects)

kuervo then somehow WAKES UP in the tiny hut outside the big amethyst cave hole and finds a pistol with 4 bullets

he tries to figure out his surroundings, gets cornered by a cultist to get back down the cave or else, and then shoots the cultist (and… chat says he was having a whole panic attack after that)

CUE THE FLASHBACK to 16yo kuervo (recently promoted?) getting commended and invited to dinner with the armada commanders and being super excited about it (chat declares their undying adoration for him as a kid and i agree)

kuervo sails back to the isles by hijacking a cultist ship and is very salty about chat asking about his past, and decides it's too dangerous for him to hang around any longer

he leaves the kites and packs up his stuff to finish his revenge "quest", visits water in her home to comfort her about the wedding, say goodbye, and get supplies (like a lasting supply of food just in case he has to face food insecurity in the future, and money for another pistol)

he also revises his letter to the armada to come and get him and convinces water to send it off for him via the castaway. there is a promised goodbye hug in the kuervo lore "finale"

he moves into the main town tavern for his "last few days" on the isles to wait for the armada to come get him

kuervo lore revelations

kuervo is a VERY good shot with a pistol

he has a brother, implied to be older (probably alex if going by his last character lore stream on 13 nov); the brother was well-known in the armada

kuervo was almost definitely a child soldier (getting a "new" crew at age 16? he had to have been there for a while for that to happen…), probably indoctrinated into the autocracy that is naya (dw it happens to the best of us)

he didn't have that red hair (dye) streak at age 16

the cultists apparently experimented on him while he was asleep/unconscious… and it didn't work

kuervo has 8 rings out of a collection of 10, and intends to get his last 2. it's implied he might have killed the armada's commanders, 1 ring for each kill? (nothing is said directly on stream but this is the most likely option according to chat live reaction)

naya is located in the distant northwest

either alex is alive, or kuervo is planning to die. i personally suspect the latter, given the ending of his 18 nov stream

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

The Pirates SMP Kill Tally: an Analysis

(AKA I've been curious about everyone's kill counts for months and finally got around to making the count and the post.)

Obligatory "everything is roleplay" disclaimer.

Criteria for kills

For my own peace of mind, bounties do not count as kills due to the respawn mechanism

We're (mostly) sticking to permanent deaths, so the cast accidentally killing each other in battle via friendly fire does NOT count either

I'm judging by in-game death messages for who got the final blow

Each kill on a Cultist = 1 kill because I don't care about the respawn mechanism on them; I'm just assuming they're all different people and the respawn is to bypass out-of-universe logistics

It's impossible to determine ALL kills due to the established worldbuilding, but we sure are trying our best

Kills are sorted by event for organization; non-event kills and deaths are listed separately

Day 1 / July 30: Recruitment Day

None of the pirates have killed anyone yet! Woo!

Ivy / Corruption: Aimsey (1)

Iris / Cultists: Guqqie (1)

Day 36 / Sept 3: In Too Deep

Against all odds, no one technically dies. Michela shot the crystal that freed Ivy and the Corruption, but by that point, Ivy's been using Aimsey's body as a puppet anyway and p!Aimsey has been officially listed as "fallen" on the POWCreations Twitter since Day 1. So no, Michela did not kill Aimsey; Ivy and the Corruption did

Day 76 / Oct 13: The Rescue Mission

Acho: 1 Cultist, shot from above

Apo: 1 Cultist, shot just after the release of the Yetis

Scott: 1 Cultist, stabbed with a kitchen knife

Iris / Cultists: Marnie (1)

Day 77 / Oct 14: The Revenge Raid

Acho: 5 Cultists

Graecie: 1 Cultist, killed in melee

Kuervo: 1 Cultist

Kyle: 3 Cultists

Owen: 1 Cultist

Ros: 1 Cultist

Scott: Altair, the Right Hand of Iris, who seemingly respawns later for some reason (0.5)

Shelby: 1 Cultist, three-shot

Shep: 1 Cultist

Water: 1 Cultist

Iris / Cultists: Hook (1)

Day 93 / Oct 30: Halloween

Captain Golden Beard and her crew of 890 pirates (i.e. 891 in total) were technically killed by the cursed gold created by Nocturnus and Eclipsa

Nocturnus: Mufasa (1; but I personally don't believe it)

Seapeekay: Nocturnus (1); while two rounds were fought on-stream, both Owen and Martyn's YouTube adaptations use the first round as standard, so that's what I'm going with

Day 112 / Nov 18: Final Wishes

Against all odds, no POV character dies again! It's just the Faction Isles backstory drop lore event. That being said...

Iris / Cultists: Many unnamed individuals; including dozens of villagers [only one named character, Icarus, but identifies the Logkeeper and their cousin (1), brothers (2+), friends (2+)], many unnamed pirates [presumably incl. "Mrs. Caravel" and her two children] (10+)

Although most, if not all pirates end up having to kill the vengeful wraiths/ghosts of the townsfolk, as with Aimsey's case, they were dead to begin with and thus don't count

Day 134 / Dec 10: The Finale

Annotation: Only Take 2 of the Battle on the Faction Isles is counted, but Take 1 kills are recorded for reference.

Apo: 5 Cultists

Graecie: 4 Cultists

Jojo: 1 Cultist in Take 1 of the battle, 5 Cultists in Take 2, Ohca / Insane Cultist (6)

Kuervo: 2 Cultists

Kyle: 6 Cultists

Oli: 2 Cultists, Pip by accident (3)

Ros: 1 Cultist in the Take 1 of the battle

Scott: 1 Cultist

Seapeekay: 1 Cultist

Shep: 4 Cultists

Water: 2 Cultists

Iris / Cultists (offscreen): Olive (confirmed by cc!Apo), Sniff (confirmed by cc!Apo), Scar, Shelby, Puffy, Eret (confirmed by cc!Apo), Reddoons, Tubbo, Michela (9)

Ohca / Insane Cultist specifically: Claud, Saffrie, Finn, the Enchantress, Katie (5)

Other unnamed Cultists: Digby (1)

Ivy / Corruption: Iris (1)

Ivy's own death is hard to pin down, because the positive magick countering the Corruption in her is literally the Power of Love and Friendship, with Cruppy as a sacrifice; it can't be attributed to Iris because she's already dead by that point, but the cast didn't exactly do anything to kill her either

Non-event kills (known)

Iris / Cultists: "Dai", Bek on Day 125 / Dec 1, Will on Day 130 / Dec 6 (3)

Bek: 2 unnamed Cultists that captured her on Day 125 / Dec 1 (2)

Kuervo: Commanders Francesco, Miria, Charrio, Rosaria, Tapia, Miguel, Travis, and Ernesto of the Nayan Armada [Javi and Rodrigo survived the rampage, would technically be 1st degree murder due to premeditation; but let's be honest, we're cheering him on because they're tyrants]; 1 unnamed Cultist on Day 126 / Dec 2 (9)

Martyn: Jeffery on Day 125 / Dec 1

Sausage: At least 2, 4, or 5 unnamed naval soldiers holding his uncle captive in his backstory, arguably in self-defense; reports are inconsistent and the canonicity of the 4 or 5 is questionable because psychotherapy is anachronistic for the setting

Shep: At least one unnamed individual on Captain Merton's orders; p!Will's case could either be 2nd degree or voluntary manslaughter under US laws [for reference only] (1.5+)

p!Acho technically wasn't killed by anyone, but if we had to determine a killer, it would be whoever set up the trap and ultimatum in Kishi in the first place; however, since that person's identity is unknown and presumably lost to time, we cannot say for certain who is to blame. Same would go for Mahara and perhaps countless others

Total kills in the SMP-era (i.e. does not count distant worldbuilding kills)

* is counted for kills NOT in self-defense; battlefield kills or fighting back against captors ARE considered self-defense

Acho: 6, all unnamed Cultists

Apo: 6, all unnamed Cultists

Bek: 2, all unnamed Cultists

Jojo: 6, incl. Ohca / Insane Cultist

Graecie: 5, all unnamed Cultists

Kuervo: 12, incl. 8 tyrants* and 4 unnamed Cultists

Kyle: 9, all unnamed Cultists

Martyn: 1, specifically Jeffery*

Oli: 3, incl. Pip (by friendly fire) and 2 unnamed Cultists

Owen: 1 unnamed Cultist

Ros: 1 unnamed Cultist

Sausage: At least 2 (possibly 4 or 5?), all unnamed soldiers

Scott: 2.5, all Cultists

Seapeekay: 2, incl. Nocturnus and 1 unnamed Cultist

Shelby: 1 Cultist

Shep: 6.5+, incl. unnamed persons*, p!Will* (only 0.5 because the Cultists dealt the final blow), and 5 unnamed Cultists

Water: 3, all unnamed Cultists

Iris, via petrification: 15* named in SMP era; not counting deaths revealed in the Final Wishes event because they're pre-SMP era

Ohca / Insane Cultist: 5 named

Other unnamed Cultists: 1 named

Ivy: 2 named, specifically Aimsey* and Iris

Nocturnus and Eclipsa: presumably 1* named in SMP era; not counting the ~891 backstory deaths from the Golden Isle subplot*

Summary

The characters with the most known kills are Nocturnus and Eclipsa (~892), but Iris would theoretically have the most kills overall stretched out over a millennium; just because the Corruption took over some islands and settlements doesn't necessarily mean the people who lived there died to it (we need hard evidence for that, and we don't)

The only POV characters who have committed murder/manslaughter (i.e. killed outside the battlefield or captivity) are Kuervo, Shep, and Martyn, in that order in kill tally

Despite the above statement and having the most kills for a POV character, Kuervo is still sympathetic owing to the fact every named person he's killed was an autocratic tyrant

On the battlefield, the POV character with the most kills is Kyle, at 9 overall

The survivor who killed the least people is Cleo, at 0 kills; followed by Eloise (0 kills excluding bounties); then Owen (1 kill excluding bounties); then Ros (1 kill excluding bounties and finale battle Take 1)

For the above, Martyn is in that weird spot of "we don't know his whereabouts post-finale" AND he technically also only has 1 kill, but it was premeditated, even if he got the wrong target in the end (i.e. his kills were 100% premeditated)

The deceased character who killed the most people is Acho, at 6 kills, all unnamed Cultists; to note, star is also the first known POV character to get a kill during the canon era by sniping a Cultist during the Rescue Mission

I am NOT studying law for a reason LMAO

EDIT: Corrected p!Sausage's kill count because I completely forgot about his backstory when I made this post.