#platonic renjun x reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lisired · 4 months

Text

smile for the camera

pairing: haechan x (f) reader x jisung (ft. a reoccurring renjun who’s mainly there for suspenseful purposes)

genre/warnings: smut, cheating, unprotected sex, dom!haechan, switch!jisung, switch!reader, jisung is a virgin, degradation, praise, spanking, pussy slapping, sexting, rough kink, edging, really bad 3some scenes bc I am terrible @ balancing attention, oral (both m/f receiving), f I missed smth lmk

summary: upon accidentally finding a video of you and your boyfriend haechan doing some very sexual things, jisung knows that he shouldn’t watch it. he knows that it would be an extreme invasion of privacy, but he’s unable to control himself when he sees the thumbnail. so he settles for only watching 30 seconds. except, 30 seconds turns into 30 minutes, and by then he’s buried himself too deep into a life-changing situation—or in which jisung’s terrible at keeping secrets.

wored count: 19.8k of pure filfth (what the fuck is wrong with me)

author’s note: this is a repost of an oldie but goldie, i think. i hope. feedback is appreciated!

Fuck.

Jisung knows that there’s a plethora and a half reasons why this is a terrible idea. For one, it’s an invasion of privacy. The thumbnail is explicit, leaving zero room for ignorance—the bare, nearly naked sight of you and Haechan blankets over the screen, and if that isn’t enough to tell him that this isn’t something he was supposed to see, then the rather intimate position you and your boyfriend are in is quite the message.

He didn’t mean to find it. He wasn’t searching, wasn’t looking—not for this video in particular anyways. He was simply going through the camera roll in search of something else, and happened to stumble across what is so obviously you and Haechan’s sextape. If he had known that there was inappropriate things on there, Jisung would have asked for permission before he went on Haechan’s laptop. Yet the shocking discovery has him filled to the brim with curiosity, despite him knowing it would be wrong.

Thirty seconds. I can watch thirty seconds, then cut it off, he thinks. What’s thirty seconds out of a minutes-long video? You and Haechan can go for hours, the sounds you make whenever you stay the night at the dorm keep Jisung up long enough to know that. A part of him doesn’t mind since you sound so sweet, and he can’t help but imagine what it would be like to take Haechan’s place, to have you crying his name. No, he shakes his head. He doesn’t need to think like that. It’s bad enough that he’s watching this video. So he looks around the room a couple times, even though no one’s home except Renjun, and he’s asleep. Then he reluctantly presses play, turning up the volume a couple notches. He’d never miss the opportunity to hear you.

The tape starts off quick, you already sitting on your knees between your boyfriend’s legs as you took him in your mouth. Haechan pointed the camera in a way that gives Jisung a near-perfect image of what it would be like to have you sucking him off, with your lips wrapped perfectly around his cock and your eyes so round as you gazed up at him innocently. If you looked at him like that, Jisung would probably cum on the spot.

“Gonna show the camera what a whore you are for me?” Haechan said, out of Jisung’s vision for the most part and he prefers it that way. He’d feel too guilty looking at his friend’s face, and of course he’ll feel even more guilty looking at yours, but he’ll suppress those feelings until he inevitably sees you in person.

Then-you nodded a little in response, looking so desperate and eager to please. If only you knew Jisung would be watching this, would you have still agreed to filming yourself so explicitly? He doubts that you would’ve, it isn’t like your relationship has ever been anything other than platonic. He’s nothing more than the best friend of the man you’re dating, of course you only see him as a friend, too. Nothing more.

“Then get to work, baby.”

It took nothing more for you to comply, sucking your boyfriend’s dick in your mouth while your tongue swirled alive. Your hand wrapped around him too, grip not too heavy, yet not too loose either. It’s no surprise to Jisung, but you look amazing with a cock stuffed between your lips and he imagines it’s him instead. You’d probably feel just as good as you look. Honestly, Jisung’s never had anything other than his own hands around his dick, and you look so skilled that he knows you’d be promising.

Even if he couldn’t see, he can hear. Haechan’s a moaner - quite a loud one - and he’s making it obvious you’re doing a great job with how utterly verbal he is. All the moans and praises spilling from between his lips had you soaking and motivated you to work harder.

By the time Jisung thinks to check the timestamp, he’s already more than thirty seconds in. This sends him into mini-panic, but he slowly decides it wouldn’t hurt to watch a little more. So he does, in too deep to stop.

02:05, you looked up at Haechan with a gaze that gets Jisung hard. 06:48, you were gagging because Haechan had gotten a little rough on you, tugging at your hair and using his hands to control you, facefucking you. 07:12, 10:22, 12:57, by the time Jisung’s thirteen minutes in, Haechan’s patience had dissipated and he’d thrown you onto the bed, claiming he wanted to cum in you—not your mouth. Then Jisung has this thought of what it would be like to cum inside you, and wonders if one day you’d ever let him. He knows that you wouldn’t, but it’s still a fun fantasy.

Jisung finds himself enjoying this new angle better. Your whole body is on display, thanks to Haechan taking off your undergarments as well as the remaining portions of his own clothes. He had you on all fours, waiting impatiently for him as he teased your slit from behind you, gliding his cock over it while being careful not to slide in. The moment you whined, Jisung pulls his own dick out, not entirely, but enough to where his fingers can touch him in place of yours.

“So needy,” Haechan cooed, brushing his cock against your wetness, “you’re so wet. All for me, right? Tell me who got you this wet.”

“You,” you muttered.

Haechan drew back, sounding a desperate whimper from you, “Speak up, baby. Can’t hear you.”

“You!” you said it louder, adding something extra you knew your boyfriend would like enough to quit his teasing and finally slide in, “you, Hyuck, only you. Want you s-so bad.”

Just like that, Haechan gave back in, finally slipping himself in and stretching you far and wide. “Fuck, baby,” he groaned, gripping your waist and rocking against your hips.

At the same time, Jisung strokes himself, watching the way you let your boyfriend toy with you, how needily you take everything he gives you. He thinks you look beautiful, your back in a pretty arch, your thighs and breast shaking as your body lurches forward at the impact of Haechan’s thrusts, your face—god, do you look gorgeous when you moan. Maybe there is a privilege in being a viewer. Haechan couldn’t, though Jisung can see your face perfectly.

“Harder,” you begged, your voice practically muffled as you whimpered into the pillows and mattress, yet he still heard you, “harder, Hyuck, please, please, please?”

“Baby want’s it harder?” He chuckled. “You’ve been so good for me, so I’ll give you everything my sweet girl wants.”

Watching Haechan touch you in all the places Jisung oh so desperately wishes he was, he feels like he’s going insane. You’re so incredibly fucked out, so out of it that the pleasure has practically locked you inside of a trance. Knowing you’re a sucker for contact, your boyfriend toyed with your body a little more, rubbing your clit to heighten the feeling, slowly yet steadily climbing his hands up your skin until they’re brushing your chest. Jisung moans when you do, unable to shake his urge to be inside you. Just one time, he begs to no one in particular, one time, and he’ll be able to happily move on with his life.

It feels like with every moment that passes, he’s closer to the edge. He’s blocked out everything else in the world, hyper-focused on your body and face. Your mouth agape, the pretty sounds that tumbled loose every time your boyfriend hit the spot, how caught up in the pleasure you were. If you gave him a chance, he thinks he could make you feel good, too. Sure, all the experience he has is with the palm of his hand, and he’s no where near as experienced as your boyfriend, but with a little guidance, he thinks he’d make you crack.

Though right now, he’s about to crack.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jisung’s been here plenty enough times before to know that’s he’s almost there—not necessarily watching you like this, but on those occasions when you stay over and go at it with Haechan during the dead nights where you think no one is awake, where he’s secretly hearing you and shutting his eyes, imagining a twisted fantasy of you and him. He even sometimes does it when you’re not there, getting off to the memory of your pretty lips or gentle fingers, both around his cock. Up until now, it worried him that the thought of fucking your mouth kept crawling stealthily back inside his brain. You’re so gorgeous, so cute and loving. Though upon seeing you beg for Haechan to be rougher with you, witnessing secondhand how you took your boyfriend’s length despite him forcing it down your throat, he thinks you can handle it.

Fuuuuucck. Jisung bites at his bottom lip as he cums, shutting his eyes as the pressure breaks through his body. It’s so intense, taking everything in him not to make noise as his cum shoots into his pants.

When he’s done, it takes him a couple seconds to blink back in. Then the realization of what he’s done hits, following with the guilt and shame of his actions. He always feels bad after he cums to you, but this was different. This time, he had done something inexcusable, and he can’t help but wonder about how you’d feel if you found out. Would you think he’s a creep? Could you ever look at him the same again? Jisung doesn’t think he can live with that, so he quickly exits the tab and discards all evidence of his activity, shutting the laptop and buttoning back up his pants. He’ll definitely need to wash those himself.

Swiftly, he swoops the laptop up, and walks into the hall to put it back. The video he was originally looking for is long-forgotten, and he spent over half an hour watching you and Haechan. Jisung’s a terrible liar. If Haechan comes back before he can put his laptop back, he’s toast.

“Why do you have Haechan’s MacBook?”

Jisung freezes. Fuck, he forget about Renjun.

“I don’t,” he winces, realizing that’s a boldfaced lie. He has puppy stickers on his MacBook. Unmistakable puppy stickers, all your doing. “Okay, so maybe I do—”

Renjun glares.

“Fine, I totally do! But I wasn’t doing anything, I was just trying to find that video of Jeno and Haechan from the beach!” Jisung defends himself like he’s being accused of murder, “You know Haechan keeps everything on his laptop!”

Renjun nods his head. Valid. He’s still skeptical, but he doesn’t care enough to further interrogate the younger, so he just shrugs and walks into the living room. Jisung sighs in relief. He’s gotten away with it for now. Now he just needs to put the laptop back in Haechan’s room and pretend that what happened never actually happened.

Jisung’s been acting weird lately.

No scooting next to you on the couch and lying his head in your lap. No asking you how your day has been. No shyly waving at you whenever you first walk through the dorm door. No awkward hello’s (hell, he’s hardly even speaking to you.)

Even when you try and speak to him, his answers are plain and simple.

How’s your day? Fine.

Did you guys have a good practice? It was nice.

Have you been thinking about trying any new hair colors? Not really.

You don’t think he’s even looking at you. And Jisung’s really not that shy as you originally thought him out to be, after he got to know you a little, he was holding eye contact with you during conversations just fine. He’s a confident speaker even. But you try not to overthink things and try to get used to the emptiness without his normal self, chalking it up to him having a bad week or something. It’s normal, everyone has those.

Mission unsuccessful. You are the queen of overthinking. In fact, you are literally the walking definition of overthinking. If someone Googled the meaning of overthink, your name would probably pop up next to it.

So you turn to your all-time favorite therapist, AKA your boyfriend.

“Is it just me, or has Jisung been acting different lately?”

You’re at the dorms, in the middle of folding laundry. Haechan stands near you, doing absolutely nothing. Normally the guys would absolutely never let you do their laundry, and it’s Haechan’s turn this week, but you offered and somewhat aggressively insisted on folding, so he let you. He knows that you willingly do chores when there’s something on your mind and you’re trying to get it off but you can’t, so he was aware there was only a matter of time before you asked him some ridiculous question.

Your boyfriend blinks, not expecting the question, but if he’s caught off-guard then he conceals it quickly. “Just you, babe.”

You frown, “Think about it. He’s been acting so weird.”

“Jisung’s always weird,” Haechan laughs, “I haven’t noticed anything. He seems the same to me. Why are you so worried about him anyways?”

“Because he’s being weird, Haechan, I’m telling you. He doesn’t wave at or greet me anymore, doesn’t sit next to me during movies, and he won’t even talk to me anymore! I asked him if there was any hair colors he wanted to try and he said not really. He always has a list of hell no’s and shit that’s on his bucket list. This isn’t normal, Hyuck,” you ramble, halting in the middle of folding some Adidas sweatshirt.

Haechan pauses, rewinding a little and realizing that you may have a point. A small point, but a point nonetheless. “Well now that you mentioned it, I don’t remember having to hyper watch him during movie nights.”

“Exactly, because he doesn’t lay in my lap!”

“Thank God, maybe he’s finally learning boundaries,” Haechan says, relieved if that’s the case. Jisung’s never been particularly touchy with you, but he does use you like a human pillow during movie nights. Not that you mine, but your slightly possessive boyfriend does. “I was gonna kill him if he kept that shit up any longer.”

“Babe,” you whine, “seriously.”

“Oh, I am being serious. But I’ll ask the guys if they’ve noticed anything,” and as if perfectly on-cue, Renjun walks into the living room, “Yo Renjun, you think Jisung’s been acting weird lately?”

Renjun shrugs. “Nope, why?”

“Cause y/n thinks he is, and she’s like super worried. Been tryna tell her it’s probably nothing, but you know how she is—”

“Hey!”

Renjun pauses for a couple seconds, brows furrowed as he tries his hardest to think. And then it dawns on him. “Wait, the other day I did see him leave his room with your MacBook.”

Haechan furrows his eyebrows. “My MacBook?”

“Yeah, it had puppy stickers on the cover. I asked him why he had it, and he did a whole defensive rant talking about how he was simply, and I quote, ‘just trying to find that video of Jeno and Haechan from the beach’. I hope he never gets interrogated for something serious,” Renjun says coolly.

MacBook. Video. Haechan’s MacBook. Video. Oh god, this cannot be what you think it is. Yet as you gaze at your boyfriend, you can tell he’s thinking the exact same thing as you.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he groans. “When was this?”

“Like four days ago, why?” Renjun questions, utterly confused.

The time lines up, that’s when he started acting distant with you. He definitely saw something he wasn’t supposed to.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimper, tugging your boyfriend’s hair.

The ultimate stress reliever, head from your boyfriend. You’re not even exaggerating, the man eats pussy like his life depends on every lap. In this case particularly however, you’re ninety-nine percent sure he’s more so trying to shut you up by distracting you with something that’ll make you whimper in pleasure instead of distress, and you refuse to go down without a challenge. It is, needless to say, a challenge, especially with how the way that he makes you see stars clouds your mind, but you won’t succumb yet.

“Feel good?” Haechan parts for a split second to speak, then dips right back in unhesitatingly. He really doesn’t have to ask, but you know he only is because he wants to hear it from you, as though your moans aren’t telling enough.

“Yes, f-fuck,” you moan, unable to numb yourself to the pleasure. You wouldn’t even if you could, though it would be useful for you to convey your thoughts right now—the ones that keep slipping away the more he works between your thighs, yet you’re clutching onto them desperately. “But babe, gosh, what about Jisung—”

Haechan draws back, resulting in a whine to sound from you. “Baby, tell me you’re not talking about another man while I’m eating you out.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” you bemoan, “I mean, I could, but I don’t want to. I’m worried about him, you know, like what if he’s traumatized. And what if he never looks at me the same again, he’s never gonna—oh.”

Haechan cuts you off mid-rant by stuffing his fingers inside you, catching you a little off-guard since you hadn’t suspected his actions, or even take notice of how he moved from between your thighs, positioning himself behind you with your back to his chest. “Do you want him to forget?”

His question seems to catch you off-guard a little more. “Huh?”

“Do you want Jisung to forget what he saw?” He repeats. “He saw you naked, baby. He saw you sucking me off, maybe even you getting fucked into this mattress if he’s that nosy. Do you want him to forget that he saw you like that, or do you want him to remember? To get curious?”

If you’re bring frank, the thought has crossed your mind at one point. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself (because you already have a man, how dare you want another?) but a part of you craves Jisung. You think it has for a while, you’re just now coming to terms with it. That doesn’t mean that you don’t want Haechan—you do want him, you love him and you’ll never stop—though you can’t help but want Jisung a little, too.

“I… I don’t know,” you lie, afraid of choosing the wrong answer. How would Haechan take that you want to fuck another guy? And how could you unabashedly admit that to him?

“Stop being complicated, I know that you know,” he pulls away his fingers, as though to punish you for lying, “do you wanna fuck him or not, y/n?”

As expected, you whine once more for the umpteenth time this hour. You’re thinking about answering honestly if it means that he’ll stop denying you pleasure. “Why are you asking me this when you said you’d kill him if he kept lying on my lap!”

“I know what I said, and it has nothing to do with my question. Now if you wanna cum, tell me the truth,” your boyfriend whispers, silk voice giving you goosebumps, “if it helps, I know Jisung and I’m like a hundred-percent sure that he is absolutely anything but traumatized. The horny bastard probably got off to it if anything, and now he’s all embarrassed and worried about you finding out. That’s why he’s avoiding you.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “And not you?”

“I’m assuming it’s because you’re the one he wants to fuck,” Haechan shrugs, “since he’s usually all over you instead of me.”

Well fuck. You hate this. You hate it because if Jisung wants you just as bad as you want him, then something could really happen, and worst of all, Haechan’s okay with that. That’s probably all the reasons you need to love this, but you can’t shake the feeling that something about this is wrong, even if you want it. It’s the same feeling that’s prevented you from accepting how you feel, all of the shame and the guilt inside you. But fuck, are you willing to ignore it. Your moral compass is malfunctioning. You’re malfunctioning, probably. There’s no reason you’re turned on thinking about all the ways you could have both of them, and you can’t say the fantasies aren’t fun. You can’t say that you don’t want to take a chance at living them out. And even though technically, you can, that would most definitely be lying. You’re a woman of truth, and nothing but.

So you decide to tell him the truth.

“I… want him to remember,” you admit, your voice low but audible.

“Course you do,” Haechan crams a pair of his fingers back inside you, prompting a fairly loud gasp from between your lips in response, “you’re such a cock-hungry fucking slut, you’ll never be satisfied with just one, hm?”

“N-no, not a—fuck—slut,” even though you deny it, Haechan feels the way you clench around his fingers when he degrades you. He even felt the way you clenched around them when he described all the ways Jisung’s potentially seen you, and from that moment forward, he knew exactly what you wanted.

“Yes, you are, baby,” he disagrees, observing how you moan for him so needily. He thinks about how Jisung felt the moment he saw you like this in that video, so gone and pathetic. Then he remembers Jisung’s horniness is through the roof, and he was definitely turned on. “Such a slut. My greedy slut. Tell me you’re my slut.”

“I-I’m your slut, Hyuck,” you whisper, too caught up in bliss to speak an octave louder without forcing yourself.

Haechan slaps your thigh, and you moan consequently, “Louder.”

“I’m your slut!” you cry, louder than intended, yet your volume pleases him.

Satisfied, he smirks a little to himself. “Good girl. You wanna cum?”

“God, yes,” you’re nodding your head almost violently, “please?”

“Go ahead, baby. Let go for me.”

You’re in a daze-like state, feeling almost lightheaded as you clutch your boyfriend’s thighs for leverage. It’s either extremely early in the morning or extremely late at night and you’re at the dorms again, so you dig your teeth into your lips to try and conceal your moans as you cum, almost too out of it to even do that. Though as many times as you’ve been in this situation, biting back moans until your lips are bleeding, you like to think that you’ve perfected the silent skill.

The moment you come down from your high you lie your head against your boyfriend’s chest, and he whispers into your ear all these sweet praises, telling you how good you are for him. Everything is typical, with him holding you tight and close.

“Now, I want you to hear something,” Haechan says, throwing you off a little.

“Hear what?” You ask, nothing but confused.

“Shh,” he whispers, “listen carefully.”

Allowing your curiosity to get the best of you, your lips press together in absolute silence, and you’re even holding in your breath so that it won’t distract you too much. It takes a couple of seconds, but your ears begin to pick up on the faint sounds of groans coming from the wall that separates Haechan and Jisung’s rooms, which could only mean one thing.

He’s jerking off… to you?

Fuck, why does that turn you on? You wish that you were right there next to him, so that you could perfectly hear how deep his voice is when he grunts like that. Better yet, you wish that you were touching him yourself, so that you could see how his face looks when you make him cum. It isn’t fair. He’s seen you naked, while you’re left with not much more than your imagination.

“Haechan…” you whisper speechlessly.

“I know,” he whispers back. “He’s been doing this every night we fuck when you stay over. I know you’re always too fucked out to hear anything, though.”

Oh, god. The walls are severely thin here, you can only imagine all the noises he’s heard you make over the nights. All the times he’s came, and no wonder you hear him insisting on washing his own laundry. The guys already tease him, saying that it’s because he’s always jacking off, but you’re the sole one that never would’ve thought he was truly this horny—that he’d jack off to you.

“What do we do?” You ask, although your head isn’t exactly blank. It’s just that everything you’re thinking, you’re not sure your boyfriend would approve of.

“Confront him,” Haechan replies, like the answers obvious, and the moment you stare back at him in shock and appalled, he adds, “I’m not mad at you or against it, baby. If you wanna fuck him, then you can once on the condition that I have to be there. I’m sure that horny fuck wouldn’t care.”

You don’t believe your ears. “Really?”

“Yes,” he begins to yawn a little, “but tomorrow. For now let’s go to bed.”

The two of you lie down, and you go to sleep imagining all the possibilities of what could happen within the next twenty-four hours, snuggled up in your boyfriend’s arms.

The following day, you and Haechan plan out the confrontation quietly in his bedroom. Since the walls are thinner than you thought, most of your conversation is in hushed whispers and low tone.

Just thinking about it has you excited. If everything goes according to plan—essentially meaning if Jisung doesn’t shy off despite your boyfriend’s insistence on watching instead of participating—then you’ll have him wrapped around your finger, right where you want him. You just hope that he won’t freak out too much.

“You got it?” Haechan whispers once he finishes explaining the rundown of the plan.

It’s nothing like some elaborate scheme, or intricately-detailed ploy. There isn’t much to it but patience and faith in the slight steps to play out in your favor, although the ratio of your amount of the two things is dramatic.

“Yeah,” you reply a little too fast, a little too enthusiastically, “can’t wait.”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” he taunts, “you don’t have a choice. But I’ll get the rest of the guys out of here by two, and then you’ll have Virgin Mary all to yourself. He just won’t have you to himself.”

You make a confused face, “What’s with the emphasis on him being a horny virgin?”

“You don’t get why I want to watch, do you?” Haechan asks, and you shake your head. You’ve been tempted to ask, but you’ve already come to terms with the fact that your boyfriend sometimes works in mysterious ways far beyond your comprehension level. “Baby, I doubt Jisung’s gonna know what to do with you. He’s gonna need a couple of pointers plus a push in the right direction. And who knows your body and how to fuck you better than to me?”

No one. Not a single soul. You find it a little embarrassing, but not even you. Haechan didn’t take your virginity, but the first time sure felt like he had—he had reached places you didn’t know were there, let alone reachable, and he made sex seem like something totally new. No one has quite pleased you the way your boyfriend has.

“So you’re going to… teach him?” Is the conclusion you make when you put the pieces together, and Haechan nods.

“If that’s what you want to call it.”

That is what you want to call it.

Time passes rather slowly. Every hour feels twice as long, and you feel as though you’re going to die any moment now. The second you hear the sound of the guys piling outside the dorm, there’s a burst of excitement in you, making your stomach turn and swarm with butterflies. (It’s killed briefly when Jaemin rushes back inside, claiming he forgot his phone, but once they drive away you’re filled with bliss once more.)

Jisung steps outside his room, “Where’s everyone going?”

“Away,” Haechan replies vaguely as you two walk back down the hall.

“So it’s just us three?”

“Yep,” you and your boyfriend answer in unison.

Jisung looks absolutely petrified, though not wanting to appear suspicious (he’s kind of late, but it’s the effort that counts) his face soothes soon after. “Cool.” To him, it is anything but cool.

“Cool,” you repeat, “so you wanna watch a movie with us in Haechan’s room?”

“I don’t think I should—”

“Please?” Your eyes are begging him, pleading at him, and for safe measure, you add, “I miss you Sungie, it feels like it’s been forever.”

Truthfully, it hasn’t been anywhere near that long. Though Jisung knows that he’s been extremely distant with you—probably why you feel kicked away—and he feels terrible. Plus, it’s impossible to say no to you, especially when you give him that look, gazing at him like a sad puppy.

He gives in, “Okay.”

“Yay!” You clap your hands together. You clutch Jisung’s fist and begin to drag him down the hallway, “Babe go make popcorn!”

Some moments later, everyone’s settled down. The three of you sitting on Haechan’s bed, with you squeezed in the middle like the cream of an oreo. You rest your head on Jisung’s shoulder and he tenses a little at first, though eventually relaxs.

Everything’s going great and according to plan. Jisung looks calm, laughing the movie and being as naturally clingy as he usually is during movie nights. You and Haechan glance at one another occasionally, silently deciding on the perfect moment to strike and telepathically agreeing that that moment is now.

Haechan pauses Netflix, making Jisung whine in complaint. “Why’d you do that? It was getting suspenseful.”

“You’re getting a little comfortable, don’t you think?” Haechan tilts his head.

It takes Jisung a couple of seconds to realize what Haechan’s talking about, but once he does, he quickly separates his hands away from you and scoots over to put a little distance between the two of you.

His face burns like fire. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re a repeat offender, Jisung, sorry isn’t gonna cut it this time,” and before Jisung can apologize again, Haechan adds, “plus, I have another question for you.”

“What is it?” Jisung swallows sharply.

“When you watched that video, did you cum?” It’s you that asks the question this time, much to Jisung’s surprise. He’s chewing hard on his lip, nervousness spelt out across his face.

Still, he plays dumb, holding onto the slim piece of remaining hope he has to consider that maybe this is a joke, that you aren’t serious and don’t actually know he’s seen the video. “W-what video?” Even his own voice betrays him, and Jisung knows from this moment that he’s screwed. Terribly fucking screwed.

“I’m sure you know it very well. The one where she’s giving me head and I’m fucking her into this mattress, remember?” Haechan inquires, a smirk blooming onto his lips as he watches Jisung break.

He’s done, he thinks. You probably hate him. You’re probably disgusted with him, repulsed by him, and appalled that his prying eyes saw you in such a sexual context. He doesn’t look at you, afraid of what he might see, holding his head down low in shame as he’s unable to lie to you anymore. “Sorry. I’m so sorry,” he stammers, “I didn’t, I wasn’t trying—I didn’t mean to, I just… I was just trying to find—”

“That video of me and Jeno from the beach, yes, Renjun told us. But you found something you liked better and just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” Something about humiliating Jisung, toying with him a little simply to see how he reacts is fun to Haechan. All of his reactions, needless to say, are amusing; shuffling in his spot; fidgeting with his hands; swallowing and gulping hard; biting his bottom lip; and his eyes widening in panic as his cheeks sting with embarrassment.

You add, “We heard you last night, too. Do you always listen in on us like that?”

Jisung whimpers, “Y/n…”

“Answer my question, Sungie,” you lean into his ear, “do you always listen in on us like that?”

Whenever he’s awake, he definitely does. Jisung isn’t oblivious to the fact that if he can overhear Haechan’s room, then you guys can certainly overhear him in his room, but he thought he was quiet enough to get away with it. You have to give him credit, if Haechan would’ve never pointed it out you probably would have never noticed.

“Y-yes,” he admits in a low murmur, head still hanging low, “I’m sorry, you just sound so pretty when you… make noises, and it wakes me up. But sometimes I stay up and wait because I know you’ll start soon. Please don’t be mad.”

“Mad? You don’t get it, do you?” You move to straddle his lap, gripping his chin to force eye contact with him. He appears taken aback by your actions, but doesn’t fight them. “If I was mad, we wouldn’t be doing this, Jisung. I’m here because I want you, and you want me, right?”

Jisung’s Adam’s apple bobs as silence prevails over his voice.

“Answer her,” Haechan commands. “Do you want her?”

Jisung chokes out, “Yes.”

Shaking your head in dissatisfaction, you instruct, “Say it. Tell me what you want. Do I have to walk you through it like an ameteur?”

Jisung instantly shakes his head. He’s not a baby, he can do this. “You,” he finds the courage to say, fighting the urge to cower, “I want you.”

“Good boy,” you purr, “but you didn’t answer my first question, so I have some more for you.”

Trying his hardest to conceal how evidently the pet name fazes him while simultaneously bracing himself for the severity of your question, he asks coolly, “What are they?”

You lean back into his ear, but with you in his lap and his hands holding your waist this time, it feels so much different. “Do you moan for me when you cum?” Your voice tickles his neck, but he thinks he that likes it, “do you say my name?”

Fuck. Jisung could get hard at the memory, recalling all the times he’s came to you, moaning your name quietly to himself as he imagines you’re around his cock—your hands, your pussy, your mouth, anything. He’ll take anything as long as it’s from you. The only time he doesn’t moan your name is when he has to be silent, like when he was watching that video of you, in spite of how badly he wanted to call out for you right then and pray that you would somehow answer.

“Yes, fuck,” slowly, all of his shame and dignity is dissipating, “I imagine it’s you,” he mutters.

That gets you going as well. Jisung fucking his hand to the thought of you, pretending that it’s you, and moaning your name as he cums is a sight you’d pay to see. You’re pretty sure he’d send you a video for free though.

Deciding this needs to escalate quicker than it is, Haechan instructs, “Touch her, Jisung.”

“T-touch her?” Jisung repeats back, incredulous that this is the same Haechan who shoots him knife sharp glares whenever he so much as accidentally brushes his fingers against yours during movie nights. “Are you sure?”

“You think I’d ask you to touch my girlfriend if I wasn’t sure?” Haechan deadpans. “Honestly, you’re asking the wrong person.”

So Jisung shifts his focus back to you, and you eye him with these lustful eyes that tell him, scream at him that you want him. It’s so much like a fantasy that he’s half-tempted to pinch himself to test if he’s dreaming or if this is just a wet dream come true. “Can I touch you?” Jisung asks. His eyes are a little wide still, but he sounds so much more confident.

“Please,” you answer, and that’s all it takes for his hands to roam your body.

Jisung’s fingers move gracefully yet like the wild, untamable waver of a flame. As his fingers pull your top above your head, you can’t help but gaze at his fingers, long and bony. Fuck, you can only imagine the places they could reach, and you’re not too proud to say you’ve thought about it on more than one occasion. Because of your willingness to push it away though, the thought hasn’t ever bloomed into a full-on fantasy. Not until now, of course. This time however, you’re finding it perfectly acceptable to wonder.

He struggles to unclasp your bra though, earning a chorus of laughs from you and your boyfriend. But upon seeing Jisung’s flushed face, you try and teach him, with Haechan helping do a perfect demonstration.

Once Jisung thinks he has the hang of it, he says, “Put it back on.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “For what?”

“I want to see if I can do it,” he replies, making you and your boyfriend both scoff. But you indeed put the bra back on, and he successfully takes it off with a dramatic decrease in effort.

You nod in approval, “Good job.”

Jisung realizes he loves being praised by you. And in that same moment, he realizes that there isn’t much he won’t do to satisfy you so that he can hear you praise him some more.

He sucks your nipple into his mouth, fingers fiddling with your other one so that it wouldn’t be neglected. When Haechan talked down on Jisung for being a virgin, it made you think that you would have to teach him everything. But it seems like he’s done his research, because he knows a thing or two. That or he’s just naturally good.

“Shit,” you gasp, “Feels so good, Sungie.”

The look on your face tells him everything. You’re genuinely enjoying this, lips parted as you continue to moan little by little. If Jisung wasn’t hard before, he definitely is now. Something about your moans is severely intoxicating, and being able to hear them, seeing how you look when you moan in person is just on another level that the computer screen doesn’t compare to. It simply doesn’t do you justice.

You’re quickly becoming very needy and impatient. Jisung can feel Haechan’s eyes biting into his skin, silently waiting for the right moment to open his mouth, so Jisung decides not to make any advances on his own in dread of setting your boyfriend off. You on the other hand need him to pick up the pace, so you make the advance for him, picking up him free hand by the wrist and sticking it down your shorts. “Touch me,” you beg him with your mouth and eyes, “Please.”

He looks at Haechan, but surprisingly he’s nodding, urging him on. So Jisung complies, fighting the pitter-patter of his heart against his chest as he rubs you through your panties. You’re wet, he knows that much. Really fucking wet. It turns him on to think that he’s the root of it all, the reason why you’re soaking your underwear, especially because he’s wanted to touch you there for so long. He wonders how long it’ll be before he gets to touch you directly, without some flimsy fabric in the way of all the good stuff.

Lust blinding the two of you results in things to escalate somewhat quickly. It started with Jisung rubbing you through your panties, then you begging him for skin on skin contact, and then a complete change of positions after he hungrily takes off your shorts, finger fucking you as you eventually asked with your back flat against the mattress.

“Pay attention to the angle,” Haechan advises. “You can’t just shove your fingers in her and hope for the best. And don’t let having longer fingers get to your head, it’s pointless if you don’t know how to use them. Same with your dick.”

“I know that,” Jisung hisses. “Just because I’m new to this doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”

“Just being careful, Ji. You’d be surprised how many people don’t know that. If you’re gonna fuck my girlfriend, I gotta at least make sure you’re doing it right,” you’re almost completely tuned out of the conversation, only picking up on bits of pieces as you’re too concentrated on the way Jisung’s fingers plunge in and out of you, coated in your arousal. “And pay attention to her body, it’ll tell you everything you need to know. See what makes her moan, squirm, beg—all that good stuff—and what doesn’t.”

If Haechan has you muffling screams when you fuck every other night, then Jisung’s sure he knows what he’s talking about, so he silently takes his advice. You seem to be enjoying this, and he wonders how he can take it further, how he can find out where you’re sensitive.

He decides to explore, not exactly letting his fingers run wild but experimenting here and there until he finds the spot. And when you cry out a little suddenly, he’s sure he’s found it. “Fuck,” you cry out in bliss, “Right there, Jisung, god.”

His fingers continue to hit you there, and he tries to burn the spot into his memory. It’s uncertain if he’ll ever get this opportunity again—and that’s when he realizes he should make sure this experience is as pleasurable as possible, just in case this is a once in a lifetime thing—but he wants to remember for safe measure.

For some reason, Jisung has the urge to look at Haechan again, so he does, and sees the man mouthing the words, Pull out.

Jisung is utterly confused. He mouths back, Why?

Just do it, Haechan says.

It takes Jisung a little. He’s reluctant. After all, one look at your face tells him that you’re all blissed out, and he thinks you’re pretty close. So why would he pull his fingers away? The point is to please you, isn’t it? Though not wanting to mess up, he hesitantly does as told.

“Jisung,” you whine when you’re suddenly empty, and Jisung hates it. He wants you to say his name in pleasure, in satisfaction, not like this.

“Haechan told me to!” He defends himself quickly.

“I did,” Haechan unabashedly confirms. “Don’t let her cum yet, making her wait is part of the fun and makes her want you more. Just get her wet enough so that you can fuck her good.”

Figuring that you’re wet enough, he turns to look at you. “Can I… can I fuck you?”

“Yes,” you’re literally about to beg, you’ve been waiting for this moment for what feels like an eternity, “please do, I can’t wait anymore. Need you so bad, Sungie.”

Jisung feels like he’s out of his mind. A part of him still refuses to believe that this is real, that this is actually happening. That instead of being mad at him for invading your privacy, you’re here begging for him to fuck you. He’s not sure what’s more surprising, the fact that you want to fuck him or the fact that Haechan is allowing this to happen, even telling him what to do to please you. You’re begging for him. You’re spreading your legs for him. You’re wet—all for him. It crosses his mind that maybe this isn’t a good idea, but with those three things considered, he can’t bring himself to care anymore. Haechan doesn’t care that he’s fucking his girlfriend, you don’t even care that he’s fucking you, so why should he?

Jisung drops his pants and lets his boxers hit the ground. There’s nothing holding him back anymore, not when he sees you gawking at him (unlike Haechan, he leans more to the lengthy side rather than girthy, though as long as he follows Haechan’s instructions you’re sure you’ll both be fine). It gives him a little ego boost.

“Condom?” He asks.

“You don’t have to use one,” you say, nearly making Jisung’s jaw drop, “just hurry up, please.”

What comes over him as he slides into you is beyond him, but the process is effortless and he just skates in. “Fuck,” he grunts, needing time for himself before he can even move. He’s barely moved an inch, but he can tell the real thing is a billion times better than his palm.

“Start slow,” Haechan says. “You’ve made her want it, but most importantly, you have to make her need it. Make her beg for you to pick up the pace, and then go faster. Not too fast, but not too slow, either.”

Jisung complies, drawing it out a little. With the way you feel around him it’s difficult to resist moving around freely, but then he remembers what he was thinking about making this as pleasure as possible for the two of you and decides it’s worth the wait. Something tells him to grip your waist so he does, his fingers dipping around your hips, and in return you let your hands fly to the empty space on his back.

You’re crying out in pleasure, need, yearning—all of the above. You probably should have expected Haechan to descend his teasing ways onto Jisung. He’s ever so slowly stretching you out, not pushing his whole size into you, but gently wedging it inside bit by bit at an agonizingly slow pace. It’s useful preparation, but once most of his length is sliding in and out of you so leisurely, your patience has ran significantly thin.

“Faster, Jisung. Please,” there’s tears pricking your eyes, and he hasn’t even really done anything yet, “want—no, I need you to fuck me so much.”

“How much?” He asks, catching everyone in the room, including himself, off-guard a little bit, but he doesn’t back down.

“It fucking hurts,” nothing but desperacy fills your tone when you whimper. Luckily enough you’re used to this tormenting treatment from your boyfriend, so you have a couple tricks up your sleeve. “Don’t you want it too, Sungie? You said it yourself that you think about this. Don’t you wanna make your dreams come true?”

Jisung grunts and caves in, allowing himself to move a little faster. He’s honestly tired of torturing you and himself.

“I’m almost impressed,” Haechan begins, nearly startling Jisung as his presence for once almost goes forgotten. It feels a little unnerving to Jisung that he’s been watching so closely, but he refuses to let that get in the way of fucking you. “Keep it up. Talk to her. Definitely not too much to point where’s it gets annoying, but not too little to the point where it’s awkward. Make observations, compliment her, ask her shit like you just did.”

Jisung simply nods in understanding, not bothering to drop some bitter reply. He’s too focused on you, on how you look, on how you feel, and he wonders if he’ll ever have the opportunity to see how you taste. He’s never ate anyone out before, but he thinks that your pussy is so pretty that there’s a first time for everything.

Meanwhile, you’re lost in the realm that is pleasure, savoring the way his dick inches in and out of you, filling you to the brim, slipping out, then pushing back inward. It’s hard to believe Jisung’s winging this—he has to have really been paying attention because he’s so fucking good at this, tip so far kissing all the right places. You like the way he holds your hips, so firm and secure like you’re precious and he’s afraid of shattering you (even though you wouldn’t mind if he did.)

From beside you your boyfriend is groaning, and that’s when you think to shift your gaze in his direction, realizing he’s finally stripped his lower body. His dick is in his palm, tall and erect, and you’re impressed that he’s gone this long without touching himself—or most surprisingly you. As much as Haechan likes to talk down on Jisung for being horny, he can’t blame him because he’s the exact same. Worse, even, especially for you.

“Touch her,” even in this state, Haechan still has pointers to offer, “Anywhere she’s sensitive for extra stimulation. Rub her clit—if you know where it is. Or what it is. Do you even know what that is, Jisung?”

“Yes, I know what it is, Haechan,” As if to prove his point, Jisung drops his hand down to your cunt. If you thought the way his fingers accidentally brushed against you was amazing, you were no where near prepared for the feeling of them toying with your clit. “Right here.”

“Oh, g-god, Jisung,” you stammer out, rocking your hips onto his hand. “More, please. I want more,” he’s quick to obey, applying pleasure to your clit while his fingers softly kiss your cunt in the same motion. “Just like that!”

Some moments pass, all actions consistent though Jisung isn’t sure how much longer he can keep this up. He’s having this fuzzy, trance-like feeling, where everything seems like nothing greater than his imagination. The only reason he knows he’s not dreaming is because of the way you feel around him. It’s like pinching himself, except this is pleasurable. Your bare walls are warm, tight, and wet as ever around him, and he knew from the moment he slid in you that he wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight.

That video doesn’t compare to this. His fist doesn’t compare to this. He can’t describe it, not with one-hundred percent accuracy, because absolutely no other feeling in the world compares to this. You look so fucked out beneath him, bliss spelt out across your face, and he’s proud that he’s the reason why. He had always known that he could do this with a little help, that he was fully capable of satisfying you. He just never thought that he’d ever be given the chance.

“Shit, y/n. You’re so fucking beautiful,” he moans, the deepness of his voice driving you closer to the edge. You’ve always found it hot, but it’s more extreme with his dick inside you.

Close, I’m close,” you moan, feeling the tightening in your stomach, “are you gonna cum?”

“Shit, y-yeah. Gonna cum. Can I—”

Picking up on what he’s asking before he even has to chance to state it himself, you say, responding a little over-eagerly, “Yes, fuck, cum in me. Please don’t pull out.”

You’re seeing stars, you swear. Bright white twinkling ones that cloud your vision as you cum, digging your nails into Jisung’s back. It helps that he’s rubbing you in your most sensitive area, fucking you so perfectly, and that Haechan’s sweet moans are audible beside you. You aren’t sure who cums first between the three of you, but you do know his cum is leaking from your cunt after his hips stutter to a stop, and he can’t help but fill you with a load of white.

It takes you a long while to collect your breath. But afterwards your boyfriend swoops you into his arms, placing you in his care once the deed is done. “Last pointer,” he says, “always check up on the person you’re fucking. Good aftercare is extremely important after sex.”

“Are you okay?” Jisung asks, and you find it cute how his eyes look so filled with concern.

“Seriously never been better,” you manage to respond through heavy breaths. “Haechan, can you join us next time?”

Haechan looks repulsed by the idea. “Who said there was going to be a next time?” This saddens you considerably, and Jisung too, but he does a better job at concealing it. “You did good, Jisung. Hope you find your own person to use your new skills on. C’mon babe, let’s get you cleaned up.”

You follow your boyfriend into the bathroom, and Jisung sees himself out. At least he has new material to jack off to, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t feel you again. You’re just too good to give away, so he understands why Haechan is so determined to keep you to himself.

But fuck, you’re too sweet to let go of.

“Ever heard the phrase sex is a remedy?”

“No.”

“That’s because I just made it up,” Haechan grins, and you roll your eyes consequently.

It proves true in some circumstances, you’ll give him that. Prime example: Jisung. Ever since that day, things between you have cooled. He started sitting next to you during movie nights again, even going as far putting his head in your lap (much to Haechan’s annoyance), actually talks to you, and looks at you (maybe a little too much.)

Yet surprisingly, he doesn’t seem that bashful anymore. It isn’t like he’s ever been the type to shy away, though this is next-level. No more shy waves or meek hello’s. No more weak eye contact. No more hesitance in touching you, despite him potentially being able to piss your boyfriend off. He’s so relaxed, so calm and so certain of his actions, and you kind of like it. There’s a chance the sex got to his head a little, but perhaps it was a push in the right direction and plus, you find confidence very sexy.

But you push these thoughts away as fast as they come. Whatever you had with Jisung is done, it can’t happen again. You all had your fun, now it’s time to let it go.

You pout, “Why are you leaving me alone for so long? I’m gonna miss you.”

Haechan’s going out with some of the guys to handle what he titles manly affairs. If you didn’t know any better you’d say that probably translates to I’m going somewhere to play video games, but you saw Jeno in his gym shorts. They’re definitely about to go hit the gym.

“Relax, I’m going to be back in a couple of hours and you aren’t alone—Renjun and Jisung will still be here to keep you company. Speaking of which, Renjun said that if you keep treating this like a second home he’s gonna start making you split the rent with us,” your boyfriend snickers.

“I was joking!” Renjun shouts from the hall, coincidentally walking down at the same time you happen to be talking about him.

“I think Renjun should mind his own business,” you say, and he rolls his eyes prior to stepping inside the bathroom. “And why aren’t they going with the rest of you?”

“Won rock paper scissors,” Haechan mutters, “but back to what I was saying about sex being a remedy, I promise I’ll make you cum at least three times when I get back.”

“Why three?”

“Because I don’t think you can handle four,” your boyfriend kisses you on the lips for a second so short it feels unreal, and you’re torn between focusing on that or informing him that he sounds like that one Reese’s commercial, “but I gotta go. See you later, babe, love you!”

“I love you more!”

“No, I love you mo—wait. I see what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work,” he catches on, earning a gloomy frown from you. At least you tried. “Now goodbye, I love you most!”

“No, I—” before you can even chuck out half your sentence, the door is rudely shut in your face.

You huff. He cheated.

Alas, you’re left alone. Flopping down onto the couch, you consider that Renjun’s probably right about you overstaying your welcome, though it isn’t like you’re here all day every day. Two days a week at most. You have your own lovely apartment free of men that fight over video games and superior pizza toppings. Speaking of men, you’re tempted to go annoy Renjun in order to pass the time, but then Jisung creeps from the shadows of his room and you’re suddenly no longer interested in the former.

“Sungie!”

You don’t seem to notice the look on his face when you call him that, and even if you did, you wouldn’t have been able to make out what it meant. It’s fleeting, gone before it’s ever really there. Jisung covers it up with a smile, though can’t help but feel the nickname has an entirely different feeling. It used to be cute—innocent and sweet. But then he heard you begging for him and that changed his perception of the word forever.

He figures that he should probably let it go, though. It happened almost a week ago, the sex. It was fun, he knows that. All parties enjoyed it, he knows that too, but he also knows that Haechan would never let it happen again. Hell, he’s still surprised that he let it happen a first time.

“Y/n,” he smiles cheerily, joining you on the couch. You sit upright to make room for him. “you’re here while Haechan’s not?”

“Oh, yeah. All my clothes that I have here are dirty so I’m waiting for them to finish washing and drying,” you explain, Jisung listening and nodding understandingly, “I also don’t feel like driving.”

Jisung laughs, “I can’t drive so I’d be zero help with that, but I can help with your laundry. Do you need any assistance?”

“I’m good,” you shake your head. “Thanks, though.”

Jisung nods. “Cool.”

“Cool.”

You both know shit is anything but cool. And if you’re being completely honest, the silence that fills the room is a tad bit awkward. You’re sure you’re both thinking the same thing, though neither of you want to say it. However, there’s a major difference between a want and a need.

“We need to address the elephant in the room,” he initiates.

You sigh—in relief or not, Jisung can’t tell. “So I’m not the only one who realized.”

So, maybe your analogy was slightly wrong. Maybe sex wasn’t a perfect remedy for your Jisung situation. Or maybe Haechan’s made-up saying needs some clarification: sex is a temporary remedy, that eventually subsides into a plethora of other problems.

False advertisement.

“Yeah,” Jisung chews at his lip, “it’s been gnawing at me for a while. I mean, I get that it was supposed to be a one-time thing, but I can’t be the only one that’s having trouble forgetting.”

He isn’t, much to your misfortune, and it’s been gnawing at you. It’s even worse since Haechan hasn’t acknowledged that day since it happened, and you don’t have it in you to bring it up this time. You know he’s down to try lots of things, though at some point there’s a line you know better than to cross.

Yet the lingering memory is still tattooed onto your brain, and you can’t simply forget how wonderful it felt for Jisung to touch you; how good and deep he felt inside you; how perfectly his fingers felt on your clit; how blissful you felt when you came in his embrace. It doesn’t help that Jisung is impossibly attractive, and you can’t help but want to do things to him, or let him do things to you—you couldn’t care less.

“No, me too,” this time it’s you struggling to hold eye contact, opting to look down, “but Haechan already has, and is it really worth going behind his back?”

Jisung pokes his cheek. “I know. We don’t have to act on it, I just wanted to get it off my chest.”

“Okay.” You look up at him again. He’s still looking at you, unfaltering. “Wanna watch a movie with me?”

He nods a little. “Yeah. Sure.”

Fetching the remote, you open Netflix under Chenle’s account (poor him. The cons of sucking at GamePigeon 8ball.) and select a movie. It’s nothing spectacular, but holds your attention fairly well for a while. Nothing new seemingly happens with Jisung—he’s not on your lap, though still touchy, replacing his head with his hand as he lies his head on your shoulder. It shouldn’t bother you but it does, goosebumps breaking out on your skin. As if things couldn’t get any worse, your body refuses to listen to your brain, allowing itself to look at his hands as your brain shouts at it not to. With the sight of his fingers planted firmly into your brain, showering little seeds, it’s impossible to forget those six days ago. Even if you try and push the memory away, it’s helpless. Your body remembers, and doesn’t want to forget.

His slender fingers plunging inside you is all you can think about. You shut your eyes, yet the image burns into your eyelids. You open them again, yet it’s still there, fueled more by sight of his fingers close to you. It doesn’t help that they’re dangerously close to the inside of your thighs, the proximity making you sweat.

“Are we gonna pretend you don’t want me to finger you right now?”

His voice startles you. Jisung knows you think he hasn’t caught you, but he does—he did. It’s impossible to ignore the burn of your stare.

Fuck, when did he get so bold? “Jisung,” you whine, already sensing this is going to head in a direction you simultaneously do and don’t wish for it to.

“I want to do the right thing, I really do, but it isn’t easy knowing you want me, I want you, and we’re not doing anything about it,” he’s slowly rubbing circles onto your thigh, which is significantly bare since you’re in un-lengthy Dolphin shorts, “can’t we do it one more time? Fuck it out?”

“You and I both know that if we do it again this won’t be the last time,” you say.

He doesn’t look half-bothered by the idea. “That’s not something we have to worry about right now though, right?”

Fuck.

You know better than to give in like this, but it’s much too late the moment he sneaks you inside his room and lies you flat on his bed. You also know that you could stop at any time you wish, but as terrible as it sounds, you don’t want to stop. It’s basically been said that you’ll deal with the consequences later, letting impulsivity win.

“Can I taste you?” His voices sounds so hot when he says this. You can’t help but nod, allowing himself to have his way with you.

Jisung tugs down your shorts in fervor, your panties following suit and meeting one another in a growing pile on the floor. He’s seen it before, though he can’t help but gawk at the sight your cunt, dripping with arousal and he’s hardly even touched you. You’re so pretty to him that he can’t help but run a finger through your folds, spurred on further when you gasp aloud.

“Never done this before,” he says, yet he sounds ready as ever, “so tell me what to do.”

Impatiently, you nod. “Just go with the flow and I’ll help you from there.”

Your eager motion and the way you buck your hips up is more than enough to signal to Jisung that you’re ready. He takes it as you giving him the green light to begin, tongue experimentally prodding against your folds. It’s like all his hesitance dissipates the moment he gets a hold of you, as though the mere taste of you has put a spell on him that he can’t wake up from. He isn’t sure what comes over him in this moment, though he knows that he wants to savor it—the taste, the feeling, the craving. A single taste of you is enough to fill him with greed and then he’s eating you out like he just can’t get enough of you, as though there’s a burning fervor coursing through his veins that can’t be ceased.

“Sungie,” you cry. It’s been a couple of days since you’ve been given head and you’d consider that a while, so the relief is extra phenomenal. You’re sure that even if it had been yesterday, you’d be just as weak to his touch.

Then, so torturously, he pulls away. Before you can complain, Jisung shushes you. “I’m sorry, but you have to be quiet. Renjun’s here.”

Your eyes widen slightly. You had honestly completely forgotten about the other, though fortunately, this isn’t your first rodeo. If there’s anything sneaking around in the middle of the night with Haechan has taught you, it’s how to be quiet. The only reason Jisung’s overheard you is because his room happens to be directly next to the one that your boyfriend owns.

“I can be quiet,” you murmur.

Jisung scoffs. “Sure, you can.”

Affronted, you’re inclined to protest, until Jisung’s lips meet your pussy again and you’re silenced, digging your teeth into your bottom lip to muffle any potential sounds you might make. He picks up again, listening with super-sense to the quiet moans you utter as you’re unable to hold all of the volume in. It helps him apply his knowledge, playing close mind to what garners pleased reactions from you and your body.

His tongue skirts around, and he gets the wonderful idea to target your clit. The moment the muscle swirls it’s way there, you know that staying quiet is gonna be more difficult than you thought. Your lips nearly shudder shut and he pushes them open, his grip firm as he spreads you apart ever so gently.

“G-good, feels so good,” you moan softly, careful to lower your volume, “you’re doing so well.”

Jisung’s tongue is anything but gentle, however. Spurred on, he darts his tongue like it knows magical spells of it’s own, putting one on you that you fall deeper into with every stroke. The pressure feels amazing, and you can practically feel your heartbeat between your thighs. It’s honestly admirable how quick of a learner he is, paying full attention to how your body responds to his touch and solely acting on that. No previous experiences, just you and his intuition.

You really don’t have to tell him what to do. If there’s any question, you naturally give him the perfect answer. When you moan, when you whimper, when you beg. When your thighs quiver and your hips buck up in greed, it’s all a telltale signal of arousal, perfect sign of pleasure. In the moment, your fingers reach for his hair, threading through his locks and drawing him closer to you desperately. You want to feel this to the maximum, until you quite literally are numb.

It’s a miracle that you’re far from numb right now though, feeling every lap. He’s making you feel so good and it’s so hard to stay silent to the point where you’re contemplating stuffing your fist in your mouth. If Jisung was extra nosy, he would have seen another video of you and Haechan on his MacBook, a video of Haechan eating you out while everyone else was seemingly asleep. You wonder if Jisung was listening in that night, if he heard your muffled sounds after Haechan stuffed your mouth with your panties. Gosh, you aren’t sure why the thought of him hearing you in such lewd ways still arouses you. You just know that you want him to have you, you want to pry into his mind and carry out every fantasy he’s ever imagined as he got off to the sound of you.

If this was amazing, you don’t think that there’s an accurate word in the dictionary to describe the feeling of what Jisung does next. He presses his tongue inside you, his hand replacing his mouth as he simultaneously plays with your clit. Your whole body feels hot now, like piece by piece, you’re being consumed by fire.

Between watching you struggle to conceal your moans, and the way your face scrunched in pleasure as you do, he doesn’t know what’s hotter. He could do this forever if it meant seeing you break on his tongue like this. Hastily your resolve is cracking, and he knows he could have you wrapped around his finger. In fact, he thinks he probably already does. It may be wrong, though it’s only fair since you’ve had him wrapped around yours since the moment he met you.

Then he notices something—your moans are getting louder, your thighs are quaking more, and overall you look so much more blissed out. That could mean only one thing: you’re close. He knows he doesn’t have to, but he pulls away.

“Jisung!” if it wasn’t for the fact that Renjun was home, you think that you’d probably scream your lungs off. You’re also beginning to think that Haechan influencing Jisung was a bad decision. “You know that you don’t have to edge me, right? Like, even if I cum from foreplay, you can make me cum again.”

“I know,” he smiles, licking your juices off his mouth, “but I wanted to.”

Scratch that. It was a horrible decision. Now, Jisung’s equally as much of a sadistic piece of shit as Haechan.

Before you can whine, he says, “But I’ll make it up to you, if you let me,” he starts palming you with his hand, earning these little moans from you. Then he looks at you, with that pretty gleam in his eye that makes you want to fuck the shit out of him. “Will you let me?”

Ultimately, you let him. It didn’t take much for you to cave in—he had already given you head, aroused you yet refused to let you cum, so now you’re desperate for an orgasm. Plus, this has already gone too far. It might’ve not done any wrong to stop things from going any further, yet it isn’t like it would do any good, either. You’re in too deep, once you’ve started you can’t stop.

Jisung undresses you, showing you that he remembers how to unclasp a bra, and then he undresses himself. The sight of your naked body isn’t foreign to him anymore, yet he’ll still continue to marvel as though it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Fuck that—it is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“I wanna ride you,” you say, snapping him out of his daze.

He blinks dumbly. “Huh?”

Gently, you push him onto his back. “I wanna ride you,” his eyes are on you, watching you with a lustful shadow dimming his eyes. “Are you gonna let me?”

“You can do whatever you want with me,” he tells you, gaze never once leaving yours.

Fuck, he’s so damn hot.

You straddle him, and once your knees are on either side of him you sink onto his dick, a sound of relief being drawn from both of you. Instantly you feel so full, yet that doesn’t stop the need built up inside you from yelling for a release. You allow yourself to adjust all over again before you start really moving, grinding onto him.

The stretch almost makes it feel like you’ve never been here before but you take it, fingers clutching his shoulders for leverage as his arms anchor around your waist, keeping you in close proximity. You’ve allowed him to go in bare again so the feeling is as raw as it was the first time around, yet Jisung still doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to this. How your walls tighten around his dick, how the wet squelch of your cunt sounds when he enters you. It’s fucking mesmerizing—you’re fucking mesmerizing, and he’s happy to have you all to himself even if it’s for a moment.

“How does it feel, Sungie?” You ask, already having your answer when you look at his face.

The same way Jisung can see through you, he’s like glass to you, a mirror even. He’s beautiful beneath you, face scrunched up in pleasure, and the tightening grip on your waist is a crystal clear sign that he’s enjoying this. It’s entertaining hearing him trying not to moan, his sounds muffled as deep little grunts that you’re sure he’s oblivious of how fucking sexy they are. In contrast you can’t stop thinking about what lives rent-free in your mind, wishing you could be louder so that you’d hear the full extent of his beautiful sounds.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight,” he growls, surprising yet pleasing you. If he keeps up the sexy noises, you’re going to cum hard.

You smile, “All for you.”

In this particular moment, it is all for him, and that’s enough for him. He likes that he’s able to get you wet, he likes that he turns you on, he likes that you want him, he likes that he has so much control and influence over your body. And you like when he treats you like you’re his.

Jisung also enjoys watching you fuck yourself on him, ever so desperately chasing your orgasm. He hates denying you it, but that unfortunately doesn’t make Haechan any less right. It is a part of the fun because it makes you needier, and there’s nothing he loves more than seeing you all delicate and fragile, so greedy for his touch. And in your determination to cum, you’re using his shoulders to hold yourself together as your pussy swallows his dick. He knows it’s going to be a sight when you actually do cum, to see you fall apart on top of him as you finally reach your climax.

His gaze lingering on your body, Jisung suddenly feels the urge to touch you. You’re so beautiful all over, it’s only right that he appreciates every aspect of your body equally. Slowly, he drags his hands up from your waist to your breast, fundling with your breast. His fingers graze over your nipples and when you gasp, he can’t contain his smile. You’re so sensitive there, it’s so fun to mess with you simply to see you react.

“Your body’s so beautiful,” he’s really just thinking aloud at this point, but you enjoy the compliment, especially as you notice the in-awe gleam in his eyes. He looks like he’s seen you pluck a star from the sky, or summon the moon with your palm.

That’s when he gets an idea. One he’s always daydreamed about, yet never thought to ask you until now, when he’s thinking of all the ways to show your body love. “Is it okay if I kiss you? Not on the lips, but your skin.”

He thinks it sounds weird to ask, but you’re delighted by the question. “Y-yeah,” you answer mid-moan, and you can feel his dick twitching inside you, “just don’t bite or suck or do anything that’ll leave a trail and make marks.”

He hadn’t even thought about marking you, though now that you mention it, he really wishes he had the chance. He’s ignored the faint ones that linger on your body from your boyfriend, fading blotches of color. Instead, he does what he can, delivering little kisses to your skin. It starts from the valley of your breast, and slowly yet steadily falls down.

Jisung notices your breath getting shallower when you kiss him. When he passes by your breast, he makes sure to flick at your nipples with his tongue, driving an unsuspecting mewl from you. His kisses leave a hot sensation all over your body, like some kind of Midas Touch where everything he touches feel like fire. It’s a kind of fire you don’t want to be put out, that you want to let it’s flames eat at you and burn you. That’s exactly what Jisung’s touch does, and it’s driving you crazy. You don’t know how long you can keep this up before you have to let go.

You’re fucking yourself onto him at a steady rhythm, biting your lip profusely as you rock yourself against him, finding the spot that drives you to insanity. You look so fucked out but Jisung’s not any better, struggling just as much as you are to keep your sounds in. He’s so vocal, and you’d appreciate it more if it weren’t for Renjun being only some yards away.

You think of the perfect way to shush him, leaning in to crash your lips against his. With your eyes shut, you miss the way his go wide, yet he lets your mouth guide him and sinks his hands back around your waist. After all, he did say that you could do whatever you wanted with him.

Once you’ve confirmed he’s not backing away, you shift your hands from his shoulders to his hair, carding your fingers through there and drawing him closer this way. A particular movement causes him to moan in your mouth, and by then you feel beyond ecstatic. You feel high off of the pleasure, senses heightened and everything around you seems to slow. It’s a beautiful moment, filled with heavy breath and low moans, and you wonder if he feels the same.

Jisung pulls away, panting, “I’m not going to last.”

You guess that gives you your answer, because you’re so in sync, your body’s mirroring one another.

“Me neither. Fill me up, Sungie. Please.”

You’re clenching around him repeatedly, and he’s sure that’s what triggers his orgasm. That’s when Jisung meets his breaking point, biting his lip as his cum shoots inside you, yet you’re still close enough to hear the deep sound of his perfect groans. He recalls thinking that having you like this one tike would be enough for him to move on from you, but he’s onto his second and it’s already been somewhat established that there’s plenty more where this comes from. You just feel too good, more than he could have ever imagined.

The way you draw his name when you cum, clutching onto him so tightly as you work your way through his orgasm before leaning against his shoulders, it’s enough to spur him on once more. He’s realizing that he could seriously do this forever—you’re that addicting.

“Are you okay?” He asks through heavy breathing, holding you to his chest.

“I’m good,” you sigh, satisfied. “Thighs are kinda sore, but I’m good. What about you?”

Jisung rubs your thighs gently, but replies honestly, “I want to go again.”

You’re honestly astonished. You already knew that this wouldn’t be the last time, however you also didn’t expect the third to be so soon. You’ve hardly relaxed from this round, and the ache in your thighs is screaming at you to slow it down.

“My thighs ache, Jisung,” you laugh.

He pushes you onto your back, moving his head between your legs again and kissing softly at your thighs. “I’ll take care of you,” he whispers between kisses. “If you let me,” he gazes up at you, meeting your eyes. “Will you let me?”

In that moment, you feel purely hypnotized by him. Something tells you that this is a bad idea and that it’s getting out of hand, but it’s been that way since the moment this begun. You know it sounds corny, but though it’s wrong, you can’t stop this from feeling so fucking right.

And in that same moment, you realize that you’ll also let him do whatever he wants with you.

Sneaking around with Jisung becomes routine.

It’s like you two just can’t get enough of each other, drawn to the other’s body as though there’s some magnetic force between you, as though he’s a moth and you’re his flame.

When everyone’s back is turned, you find time to one another. Sometimes when the guys go away. Sometimes when they’re all asleep. Sometimes you even invite him over to the solace of your home, with no roommates, no one like you who uses the WiFi and the Netflix without paying even a quarter of a bill. Him and you. No more, no less.

Times such as now. Times when he has you backed against your front door as soon as he steps inside your apartment, out of sheer desperation. It isn’t always like this, sometimes you take turns taking control. Sometimes you fight for it until the other submits. Sometimes you’re so desperate for each other that neither of you can even think to care about control, just submitting to the desire in your bodies.

“Missed you, too,” you take his eager actions as a non-verbal way of saying I missed you. You gasp when he doesn’t respond, just pressing his lips to your skin. He doesn’t suck or bite, God knows he wants to though he knows better, but shows love to your body as he slides your shirt off.

It’s been longer than it usually is since the last time you’ve seen him, so he has every right to behave like a touch-starved virgin again. “God, I really fucking missed you,” he grumbles in your ear, cupping your chest. You bet he does. The reason you haven’t met up until now is because you two haven’t had the opportunity. It’s either the guy’s have been around more often, you’re prioritizing Haechan, or one of you are too busy and burdened with work to find time.

Speaking of your boyfriend, you don’t think he’s entirely clueless.

It isn’t like either of you are stupid enough to downright stick a hand down the other’s pants, however you’re still too touchy. Your fingers soothe through Jisung’s hair as his head lies in your lap, or his hand rests near the danger-zone of your thigh.

Haechan hasn’t brought this up, though you still feel the sting of his stare and it burns mightily. As a solution, you’ve come to the agreement to keep the contact to a minimum as long as he’s around, and use your place more often so that you aren’t starving each other of touch completely. It’s a solid plan. Haechan visits your place occasionally though not nearly as much as you visit the dorms, so you figure you two should be safe.

“Do you?” Jisung nods, not missing a beat and staring you down with the most hungry eyes. “Then show me, Sungie. Prove it.”

That’s all it takes for him to lead you to the couch and fuck you until you can’t even think — however if you could, you’d think that you honestly can’t handle it anymore.

There’s been times where you’ve almost been caught. Most recently, during the middle of the night the last time you stayed the night at the dorms. You decided to meet Jisung in his room for a quickie, slithering out of your boyfriend’s grasp and tiptoeing down the halls, thanking god that Haechan’s a heavy sleeper.

The minute you hooked your hand on his doorknob, you were given the scare of your life by no other than Huang Renjun (you swear, he’s always in the hallway at the most inconvenient of times ever.)

“What are you doing?”

You jumped. High as a Kangaroo. Turning to see who had caught you, you nearly let out a relieved breath when you realized it wasn’t Haechan. Then you realized it was Renjun, and all the panic in you resurfaced like clockwork.

Luckily, your lying skills are nothing short of impeccable because you follow one simple rule: don’t lie more than you have to.

“Going into Jisung’s room,” you answer honestly.

Renjun quirked his eyebrow. “In the middle of the night? Isn’t he asleep?”

“Oh, you know how he is. Afraid of everything under the sun, and he texted me that he had a bad nightmare so I volunteered to be his human teddy bear until he falls asleep.”

“Typical,” Renjun snorted, but he looked more convinced than you thought he would. “Good night, then. And tell him I said to grow up.”

Putting forward your best, oscar-worthy laugh, you told him goodnight back as he slipped away to his room, and you finally entered Jisung’s, shutting the door behind you and trying desperately hard not to laugh as you saw his face.

He frowned, “Scared of everything under the sun? Human teddy bear? Seriously?”

“You should be grateful that my oscar-worthy performance kept us from being found out,” you replied as you walked to his bed. It wasn’t unrealistic, Jisung doesn’t have nightmares as much as he used to anymore, though he’s certainly a scaredy-cat. You have no idea how he found the balls to sneak around with you. “Actually, I think I deserve a reward.”

Jisung pulled your shorts down your ankles, “You think so?”

“I do,” you smiled.

“Then,” Jisung paused to kiss you, addicted to the feeling of your lips ever since you first pressed them against his. It was a craving he didn’t even know he had until you gave him a taste. “Let me reward you.”

“This isn’t gonna be a quickie, is it?”

“Bet me,” he said, a little smirk on his lips that he slightly tried to hide. “How fast you think I can make you cum.”

He’s insane. That’s the conclusion you’d drawn from every moment you’ve spent naked beside him. You can’t deny it though, you like it, even if it’s a little dangerous and very unwise.

You furrowed your brows, “Bet? Like, money? Or orgasms?”

An even better currency in mind, Jisung shook his head. “Rounds.”

You knew what that meant. Jisung wanted you to himself. He was never satisfied with only one round — even if it meant overstimulating himself, he was desperate to have you until neither of you could continue, sore and exhausted from the work.

“Fine,” you agreed. “Six minutes. If you can’t, you get one round. If you can, then gosh, you deserve as many rounds as you want.”

To be honest, you never pay much attention to how fast he makes you cum, too caught up in the moment to even consider the amount of time you’d spent in that way, skin on skin, body to body. So the only person you’re sure has made you cum in six minutes or less is Haechan, because you explicitly remember him setting a timer to prove himself to you.

In spite of all that, Jisung looked confident. He passed you his iPhone and shifted to your bottom half, pushing your thighs open. “I’m ready when you are.”

Nodding, you set the clock.

Long story short, Jisung had as much fun as he wanted with you that night.

You’ve also been setting precautions. If it’s too risky for you to see each other in person, then you settle for exchanging nudes and things alike.

The first time it happened, you hadn’t actually intended for it to. It was more of a joke, you were texting each other and you playfully suggested that Jisung should send you a video of his own as reparations for his snooping. When he didn’t respond for a while you had your suspensions, but you didn’t think he’d actually hit you back with a video of himself, stroking his dick and moaning your name with a tremble in his voice.

In that moment you were given an idea of what it was like when he got off to your moans in another room, how he sounded and not so much how he looked since the focus was never really on his face, but you’ve seen his blissed-out expressions enough to come up with it on your own. It turned you on, enough to make you send back a video of your own, and from that day on it became a bad habit of yours to exchange explicit images and videos whenever you were separated.

It’s so late at night yet so early in the morning when the text hits your phone, I need you.

He caught you at a good time. Feeling hot and bothered yourself, you were honestly about to fetch your vibrator from it’s hiding spot in your closet because you knew your boyfriend had fallen asleep and assumed that Jisung had as well, at least until he texted you.

How bad is it? You send back, instead choosing to lie back on your bed, resting on your stomach as you wait for the typing bubble to transform into some type of message.

This bad. The attachment makes you bite your lip after he sends it. Sometimes when Jisung sends nudes of himself he isn’t very nude, he likes to send dick prints to tease you because he knows you want the full image. Though this time, his pants and boxers are discarded, he has his hand curled around the base of his erect dick, and you can tell at once that he’s much too desperate to be in the position to tease you. In fact, he’s probably hoping you’ll be generous to him.

He’s needy as hell right now, you can feel it. And how cruel would it be of you to not help him?

You grab your vibrator and prop your phone on your pillow, positioning it so that it’d film you perfectly. It’s late, and you have work tomorrow so you don’t have that much time to sext with Jisung, so you instead decide to send him a video you know will last him for now. You press record, and wiggle yourself out of your panties exaggeratedly, knowing he’ll love the gesture. He always does. Then you spread your thighs apart, enough so that he’d easily be able to see how wet you are. For a while you tease yourself with your fingers, allowing little moans to fall from your lips before you desperately reach for your vibrator.

The feeling of it against you almost makes you forget that there’s a camera watching you, and that this is supposed to be for Jisung more than it is for you. You’re not worried, however. The thought of him has successfully infiltrated your mind, and you can’t help but moan his name louder than your ears can register. With your eyes firmly shut, you’re imagining it’s him between your thighs—his dick, his mouth, anything. In this moment you, don’t care. You can’t care.

“J-jisung,” you whimper when you’re close, not once, not twice, but several times in a chant-like manner. You can only imagine how much he’ll love that, and if he wasn’t hard already, it would’ve certainly did the trick.

It feels explosive when you cum—literally. That’s when you come to the realization that you’ve squirted, and you find it a nice touch to end the video with. You send the message Good night to Jisung, making sure to attach the video before preparing for bed.

The next day when you find some free time, Jisung calls you briefly and asks you to come over, informing you that the guy’s are away and won’t be back for some hours.

Of course you’d never miss the opportunity to see him, and you were there in record-time, wearing a cute skirt you know he likes. Time is blur when he opens the door for you, and you hardly remember what happened in the time between you walking inside and him sitting you atop the kitchen counter.

He slithers his hand up your skirt, making you sigh in pleasure when he rubs you through your panties.

“Missed this so much,” Jisung murmurs, acting as though he hasn’t seen you in days. You didn’t think it was possible, but somehow you’ve turned him from a virgin to a sex addict. He’s seriously a fiend for you, but you don’t mind it.

You snort. “You always miss me.”

“Yeah, well,” you can sense the disappointment in his voice, but you don’t know where it’s coming from, “I miss you more now because you kinda left me hanging last night.”

Is he talking about you not sexting him? There’s no way, you sent him a whole video. He isn’t entirely insatiable. “What do you mean? I sent you a video?”

“No, you didn’t,” when Jisung fills you stiffen in his grasp, he stops and steps back. The realization creeps up on him as quickly as it does you.

Your voice at a whisper, you quietly muse, “Then who did I send it to?”

“Me.”

You think you’re going to be sick. You don’t even have to turn your head, you can tell it’s Haechan from the sound of his voice. Still you do, your heart hammering against your chest as you look him the eyes. He’s standing by the door and you have no idea how long he’s been there, but you know it’s definitely been too long.

“Hyung,” Jisung looks equally horrified, “I thought you left.”

That’s right. Jisung did tell you everyone had left, and it surely seemed like they had. No cars outside, the apartment was quiet, and void of all life save for you and him. You had made a mistake, and fuck, so did he.

“I was asleep,” Haechan shrugs discardingly, too nonchalant to be relaxing. “Having fun here, aren’t we?”

You start, “Haechan, I—”

“Can explain? I don’t want to fucking hear it,” he’s upset, and it’s finally seeping through his calm demeanor. “When I saw that video I’m thinking I’m waking up to a sweet morning surprise from my girlfriend, ya’know, and then I hear you moaning my best friend’s fucking name,” his gaze pans to Jisung, who then practically cowers.

Fear has consumed half your body, though lust consumed the other half. You can’t help but bite your lip at the way your boyfriend looks when he’s mad, pushing your thighs together — and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

“You’re fucking turned on by this, aren’t now?” He’s doing that laugh, the one that’s more out of anger than genuine amusement. It doesn’t help you at all, because damn does he sound hot doing it. “You know what? Come on. You too, Jisung.”

Haechan hooks his arms around you and forces you down the hallway before you can even think to move. You know being thrown around by him shouldn’t turn you on and especially not right now, but you can’t help the way that the aggression combined with his angry attitude has you sopping.

Jisung trails behind, feeling as though he doesn’t have much of a choice. You can tell he’s scared shitless, but you on the other hand are somewhat thrilled to see where this’ll go.

You’re practically thrown onto the bed when Haechan takes you into his room, slamming your back onto his sheets without much care. “I’m going to play with you until I’m satisfied,” he announces, not leaving room for options. “And Jisung, you’re going to watch.”

Jisung’s Adam’s apple bobs. “Watch?”

“Yes, watch. You’ve been fucking my girlfriend right under my nose and think that I’m going to let you off easy?”

Neither of you are going to be let off easy, and that’s the scariest part about it.

He doesn’t say anything from then on, only dragging down your articles of clothing or pulling them above your head at paces nothing less than excruciatingly slow. You begin to feel bare and uncovered underneath him, as though nothing could escape him and as though he can see through you more than you could him in the moment. The inscrutable expression on his face as he strips you naked makes you feel like everything you’ve hid is being stolen from confines, open and on display for him. He can see so much of you, but you can’t tell what’s running through his mind as he touches you almost everywhere but where you need him to.

The little relief he’s permitting you as he hauls his fingers around your skin isn’t enough and you at least know that he’s aware of that, deliberately fighting shy of the space between your thighs. You try and squirm, to show any possible hint of you needing more, but Haechan moves his hands to hold your hips steady. “You’re only making this worse for yourself if you keep moving,” his grip tightens until you give up and lie still, realizing that cumming is probably going to cost you more than you initially thought. “I’m in control here. Not you, not him, me. If you want to cum, then you’ll have to play by my fucking rules.”

You lift your gaze to Jisung, finding him staring back at you. The look on his face appears as unsure as it had the second you were caught, but the bulge in his pants betrays any lack of will present in him. If he could, you know that he’d be running his hands all over your body too, and you realize that that’s probably what’s going on inside his head.

You look away. “I’m sorry.”

The way Haechan snorts, you can tell he doesn’t believe you. He knows you’re only sorry because you want relief, and know the more you disobey him, the longer you’ll wait for it. “If you’re truly sorry, you’ll take what I give you like a good girl.”

The thud of your heart against your chest is loud, yelling at you when you feel him finally spread your thighs apart. You wonder if he can hear it too, the hunger and desperation in you calling for him in one steady rhythm. He moves like he’s willing to satisfy your greed, although not all at once, taking his precious time with you as he presses delicate kisses and rubs patterns onto the insides of your thighs. You whimper, but the dark, shadow-y look in his eyes as he gazes up at you shuts you up instantly.

“C-can I touch her?” Jisung asks tentatively.

Haechan doesn’t look back, doesn’t even think about it as he replies, “Not yet. You can touch her when I say you can.”

He’s dipping his head onto you again, not to say he ever really left. You moan a little when he licks at you, fighting the urge to buck your hips onto his mouth in reluctance to anger him further. You don’t know what the consequence would be if you did, and you’re fine without knowing. Still, the pace he sets is agonizing and it takes everything in you not to let temptation prevail. You know you did a bad thing. You also know that bad behavior doesn’t get rewarded, but you can’t help but feel a little selfish, wishing he’d give you a little more instead of teasing you beyond imaginable.

Eventually, the little licks do become more, gradually developing from gentleness to Haechan lapping at you with the eager movements of his tongue weakening you as he becomes unable to resist his own temptations. As you grip his hair forget there’s even anyone else in the room with you, weak in a way you had never allowed yourself to become for Jisung. This type of fragility is what he hears at night and what he saw in the video, but what he’d never be capable of having. You’ve been desperate for him too, but Haechan’s broken you beyond desperation. He’s teased you until your cunt physically aches, then filled you with pleasure that gives you whiplash.

“Hyuck, Hyuck,” your knees feel weak, and you can’t even think. All you know is that this feels good, and you fucking need him.

“You wanna cum, angel?” He coos, only moving away from your cunt for a second before he’s latching onto you again.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant. “Please.”

Your stomach feels like a rollercoaster, your gut flipping, turning, twisting, spinning—and everything in between. You can feel your orgasm approaching and you know that Haechan can too, with your body quivering in his grasp, your sounds increasing in frequency and volume, and your clutch on his locks tightening without you being capable of noticing.

In short, your stomach feels like an insane rollercoaster, your gut flipping, turning, twisting, spinning—and everything in between. You can feel your orgasm approaching you quickly and you’re sure that Haechan can too, especially from how your body quivers in his grasp, your sounds increase in frequency and volume, and your grip on his locks tightens without you being capable of noticing. It’s almost as though your body is physically here, yet you’ve elevated off in heaven somewhere. But when he pulls away just before that invisible string in you can snap, you feel shoved back into torturous reality.

“No!” You whine.

“You really think you deserve to cum?” The way he looks at you feels so degrading that you can’t resist shaking a little underneath him as he hovers above you, “I’m going to edge you until you understand that this pussy is mine.”

“No, no, no,” you whimper, “please let me cum, Hyuck. I’ll be good, I promise.”

Haechan scoffs. “Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that? You weren’t worried about being good when you decided to be a slut for Jisung.”

The mention of Jisung gives you the rough reminder than he’s still in the room again, watching closely how pathetically you unravel before your boyfriend. You can tell that he wants to do something but he’s mentally debating it, and he shies up every time you shift your gaze over to him again. He’s more nervous now that he’s been directly mentioned, unsure of what to do and how to react in a scenario like this. He knows he shouldn’t touch you, but should he be ashamed if he were to touch himself? Should he feel guilty about the things he’s done with you when your boyfriend’s back was turned?

“I, I didn’t—”

“You didn’t what, babe?” He crooks his head. “Go ahead and tell me another lie.”

It’s almost embarrassing how easily Haechan makes you feel like such a pathetic mess. You can’t even find the words to say in response to that, and he’s simply amused by how quiet you’ve gone. It was never like you expected him to placate you after finding out about everything you did behind his back, but you didn’t think it would hurt to try, hoping he would show you some type of mercy and be even a little lenient. You know that he didn’t deserve for this to happen to him and that you don’t deserve even a sliver of his mercy, but you had hoped that maybe he would still find it in him to grace you with it anyway.

When Haechan moved his lips from between your thighs, soaring up your body and re-starting his teasing journey at your neck as he peppers the skin with gentle kisses that you know only temporarily betray his attitude, you had then accepted that nothing comes without a cost, and that this was your price to pay. He played fake soft with you, treating you like you had a fragile label warning printed across you in spite of being completely aware that you wanted more, that you needed more and would never be satisfied with what little he was giving you. That was what made it more fun for him though, because it seemed like no matter what amount of pleasure he was generous enough to give you, you would take it for granted and not value it enough.

Then Haechan’s movements get fiercer as he continues to follow this torturous pattern of gradually fulfilling your desires, kissing developing into biting and sucking at your flesh in ways that make you gasp out in response, and ways he knows will leave marks on your skin. He was satisfied that Jisung had at least successfully avoided that and you couldn’t imagine what side of him would unravel if he hadn’t. Haechan liked to joke and play around at times but he was never truly all that possessive over you unless you had truly set him off, and this was one of those instances where you had.

There isn’t a single sign of reluctance in him as he marks you up more and more little by little, sucking red spots into your neck and falling steadily down the rest of your body to cover every area he could. He knows that they aren’t tattoo permanent, but not extremely temporary either. In the moment you would feel him decorating your skin, but afterwards you would look in the mirror and see how he had left you covered practically head to toe in marks. If you were bold enough to try and sneak around with Jisung again, he would be reminded that you didn’t belong to him and you never would. You’re Haechan’s, and Haechan’s only.

Jisung speaks up again, asking in the faintest, meek voice, “Can I touch myself?”

For once it manages to make Haechan pause, and ultimately causes you to whimper by instinct when the rough contact between your skin and his mouth is broken, but the moment is thankfully brief when Haechan shrugs, “Go ahead.” Then he’s continuing again.

At the same time, Jisung manifests every sign of being eager to get his clothes off, desperate to feel some sort of relief that he’s been refused recently. He had planned on breaking that spell, on having you to himself today even if it was only for a while, and honestly couldn’t and wouldn’t have predicted that this would happen. After going without being inside of you for the past couple of days on top of you ghosting him last night (whether you intended to or not), he felt starved of everything he was craving.

Touching himself felt no where as good as being inside you would, and especially after he finally had received the experience to prove it, although it’s better than nothing and he’s accepted that Haechan is likely not going to let him anywhere near your body — not until he’s done playing whatever game he calls this. You would nickname it torment, and so would Jisung.

You’re back to square one soon enough, with Haechan reappearing between your thighs once more, still acting slowly and rather teasingly although not nearly as much as he had the first time around. As you feel his mouth on you, your sounds mix with the ones that Jisung audibly makes as he strokes himself to the sight, practically bouncing off of the walls. “Be quiet,” Haechan whispers momentarily, and you immediately frown. You instantly feel the urge to question why he suddenly has a problem with you making noise, but you figured it would be best to fight against them. If you thought about it, lacking self-control is what landed you in this particular situation in the first place.

In your attempt to hold back any sound, you bite the walls of your cheek. He has you right there on the edge again, at the point where it’s hardest for you to keep quiet, but you manage to comply with his rules. It’s relaxing your body that feels impossible, especially when he’s pushing the right buttons. Your thighs begin to tremble, and your senses feel so heightened that you could almost cry. You’re right there, so close, your orgasm practically in arm’s reach—yet then he torturously snatches it all away once more. This time you do cry, however for an entirely different reason than you anticipated. “Haechan, please let me cum. I’m sorry, I’ll do anything!” you’re past the point of caring that Jisung’s seeing you like this, all capability of feeling embarrassment and shame leaving you as you’re filled to the brim with nothing but denial and want. “Please.”

Swiping his thumb over your eyes, he coos mockingly, “Aw, did you wanna cum? Do you think you deserve it?”

You’re nodding your head impatiently, unable to stop the trail of tears that stream down your cheeks. “I’ve been—I’ve been good, Hyuck. I did everything you told me to do.”

Haechan seemed to debate the decision of his next move in his head, going back and forth with himself a couple of times before ultimately deciding he would he allow you a deal. “Here’s the deal: I’m gonna fuck you, and you better not make a sound unless I tell you to. If you don’t cum by the time that I do, then you won’t cum at all. Got it?”

Again, you nodded fervently, sealing your lips shut in fear of messing up your opportunity to cum before you ever really got the chance if you opened your mouth. Haechan stripped himself of his clothes in what felt like seconds, throwing them onto the floor to be concerned over another time. He had truthfully wanted to be inside you when he saw that video you’d accidentally sent him, just to prove to you that no one could ever make you feel as good as he could. He had a particular motive in not letting Jisung touch you, too. He was punishing not only you, but the both of you, and he wanted Jisung to see that no matter how much you crawled to him, you were Haechan’s. You belonged to him entirely, and he could please you like no other. It wouldn’t matter how good he was because Haechan was better, and with every second that passed, he proved it time and time again, relentlessly.

So when Haechan thrusts inside you, there’s no doubt that Jisung feels jealous. It’s his own fault for messing with someone who didn’t belong to him, but he’s attached to you in a way that he doesn’t think he could be with anybody else.

“Shit, babe,” he slides in easily, both from the fact that you’ve been dangerously aroused since the moment he grabbed you and the fact that he’s edged you twice already.

You had almost whimpered at the feeling of him gliding inside your cunt, but then you remembered the terms of your agreement and settled with digging your teeth into your bottom lip with a force slightly dangerous. In this moment, you’re content. All you had wanted was to be filled and Haechan does so greatly, shoving his girth inside you as though he had been waiting for this moment his whole life. With how much he had been edging you, you never really realized how much his own need was growing.

“Fucking slut,” Haechan growls, watching how eagerly you take him. You look like such a mess, cheeks stained with tears, skin covered in marks, and your body practically shaking in response to the pleasure. “Needed dick so bad you fuck my friend behind my back?”

When you don’t reply, his palm lands on your ass, causing you to barely hold in a moan. “That was a question, baby.”

“I—‘m sorry,” is all you can bring yourself to say. There’s no use in coming up with a better response, you already know there’s no words you could use that would placate him.

“I didn’t fucking ask if you were sorry though, did I?” he smacks your ass once more, and this time you’re unable to contain the loud yelp that tears from between your lips. “And I told you to shut the hell up. But I know you can’t think with nothing but that greedy fucking pussy.”

You’re then distracted by the ever so inviting sounds of Jisung’s moans the second they ripple through the air, instantly shifting your gaze towards him and observing how hot he looks as he gets himself off to this, to you, his hair in front of his face and his lips parted agape. He sounds as beautiful as he looks, eyes squeezing shut in a deepening moan as he strokes himself with his palm. If you were in your full mind, you would have realized that you’re only further proving your boyfriend’s point, however you just can’t help but still want the both of them—together.

Haechan slows his movements until he stops entirely, then grips your chin, slightly rough yet you display no sign of disliking it. In fact, it’s probably worse how much you enjoy him manhandling you. You’re so close to whimpering when he goes still, hardly remaining silent and although he doesn’t mention it, you know he could tell. “Look at me, not him. You’re fucking mine,” he enunciates the single syllable with one sharp, deep thrust. “This pussy is mine,” he repeats the motion again, rocking your body forward and nearly forcing a moan from you, “now tell me who you belong to.”

Weakly, you answer, “Y-you.”

It’s clear that Haechan isn’t moving again until you’ve complied, and he seems unsatisfied by your response. Your thoughts are confirmed when he instead smacks your thigh, resulting in tears to prick your eyes once more.

“Not satisfied. Try again.”

“You, Hyuck, f-fuck,” you sound weakened and broken, attempting to speak through your sobbing, “I’m yours, I belong to you! Only you. N-no one—no one but you.”

That seems to do the trick, because he finally re-starts thrusting into you habitually, temporarily making your vision go black when he strikes a particular, sweet spot. There’s no one word that perfectly captures how he feels inside you, and you wouldn’t even bother to try and think of one. Hell, you’re beyond the point of thinking. You would’ve been embarrassed by how dumb you’d gone at this point, unable to comprehend how loud you’re being and that you’re essentially breaking one of the terms of your deal. Haechan’s in too deep to stop now though, wanting to feel how you perfectly take every inch of him, and instead comes up with a better solution.

“Jisung, come—s-shit—come fuck her throat,” Haechan barely manages to grunt out, his own eyes closing firmly and his moans getting louder with every passing moment. “I know that’ll make a slut like her shut the fuck up.”

At first the command takes him by surprise, though then Jisung’s rushing over to fuck your throat without needing to be told twice. He’s a little unsure if you had even registered the words that left your boyfriend’s mouth, however he can’t find it within him to stop once he slips into your mouth. He can’t stop the moan that tumbles from between his own when he feels your mouth around him, neither, the warm sensation already feeling levels bettet than his palms. It’s then that he realizes you’d never sucked him off before, that it had always been him giving head and you on the receiving end—not that he minded. He loves giving you head and watching the way your body reacts to his touch. However he discovers that he also likes the way your mouth feels.

He’s dreamed about this, and the reality is so much better than the expectations. You’d seemed a little lost when you noticed him in your mouth, but you sucked anyways, assuming Haechan had finally allowed interaction between the both of you and being glad about it. You also feel bad that he had been abandoned on his own for so long, unable to do much but watch, and wanted to please him to the best of your ability. The look on his face is hard to concentrate on when your boyfriend’s simultaneously fucking into you relentlessly, but the glimpses of it that you do manage to catch tell you that you’re most likely doing a great and successful job.

“S-shit, you feel so good,” Jisung moans, practically feeling his whole body tingle.

You’re almost overwhelmed by the feeling of having two dicks in you, although it’s clear as day that he isn’t going to last extremely long, especially considering that he had already been getting himself off beforehand. You listen to his deep groans while simultaneously watching the way Haechan’s face twists and scrunches with pleasure, the three of your sounds—although yours muffled—mixing together as one.

“G-gonna cu—f-fuck,” Jisung grunts, unable to finish his sentence before he’s filling your mouth with his cum, his eyes firmly closed as he murmurs a set of curses. He pulls away when he’s finished, watching with awe as you swallow as much as you can, and admiring the way you look as whatever you couldn’t take in your mouth dripped down and decorated your chin.

There’s something about the way you look at him that honestly makes him feel like he could cum again right then, right there.

Deciding slapping your ass isn’t effective enough, Haechan slaps your cunt to grab your attention, not caring that you whimper from the unexpected impact and almost tempted to do it again because of how sweet you sound. “Focus on me,” he commands, and you comply. “You close?”

Forgetting about what had happened earlier, you simply nod in response, much to his dissatisfaction.

Haechan slapped your cunt again, “It’s like you never learn, baby. Use your words.”

“Y-yeah, I’m close,” it’s written all over your face, you know he’s only asking for a chance to torment you some more, “can I—can I cum?”

“S-shit, cum for me babe. You better do it before I do,” he says, reminding you that you wouldn’t be allowed to cum if you didn’t by the time that he had. He’s just as close as you were, moaning needily, his grip on your waist tightening almost bruisingly. His thrusts get deeper yet they aren’t as precise as they were initially.

Whatever happens in the next couple of moments you don’t process, save for your orgasm and the feeling of Haechan’s cum filling you to the brim, warm and thick. He stops moving eventually, slowing the way he rocks into your hips until he pauses completely. When he pulls out, he watches the way his cum drips from your cunt, unable to hide the proud smile developing on his face. He knows you like it too, recalling vividly all the times you’ve begged for him to cum in you.

He scoops you into his arms afterwards, kissing your neck gently again, making you giggle when he avoids your mouth for obvious reasons. “You okay? Too rough?”

You shake your head. “I’m good.” He’s never too rough on you.

Jisung clears his throat from beside you, making you both shift your gaze to him. “So, um,” he begins awkwardly, “what now?”

The smirk on Haechan’s face is sinister, and you know whatever he’s thinking in his head can mean zero good, but a part of you is excited for it anyways. “We’re not done here,” he says plainly, then adds, “since you wanted it so bad, do you think you can take two dicks for us, y/n?”

You have no idea, but you guess you were about to find out.

When you slowly nodded in confirmation, you swear you saw Jisung eyes twinkle a little in excitement. “Can we record it?”

Haechan shrugs. “Is that okay with you, babe?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you reply, thrilled by the idea. If this was the last time you’d ever be with the two of them at once, then you wanted to be able to remember it vividly, and there was no better way than recording.

Your boyfriend grabs his phone from the nightstand, grinning a little devilishly. “Are you ready?” When you nodded, he pressed record and immediately brought the camera to your face, still sticky with cum.

“Smile for the camera, baby.”

#nct dream smut #jisung smut #haechan smut #lee haechan smut #park jisung smut #nct smut #nct dream x reader #nct dream x you #nct dream scenarios #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct

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jenosbliss · 6 months

Note

Can I request nct dream reactions to being on the kiss cam with reader, can be established relationship but also friends to lovers?

🍶 ⌇ nct dream ! reaction to kiss cam

pairing. gn!reader x nctdream | genre. fluff | wc. 1.3k | warnings. none

MARK. as your friend

You were Mark’s friend, just like how Chenle was his friend, or Jaemin or Jeno or- but for you he wasn’t just a friend because friends love each other platonically not romantically.

For you it was anything but platonic. In simpler words you had the biggest crush on Mark and always gave him hints but he was just too oblivious.

During the match Mark sat between you and Chenle, happily enjoying the game paying no attention to the kiss cam. It wasn’t until everyone around him started cheering that he noticed the cam. Laughing he commented “How could they think of us as a couple?”

Well… he said that to Chenle which made both you and Chenle facepalm yourselves. Like how could someone be this oblivious? Therefore having enough you pulled him towards you, making his eyes go wide as you kissed him deeply making his cheeks burning red. Mark would kiss you back with the same passion as you. “Dude you like me too?”

RENJUN. as your boyfriend

The moment Renjun heard the announcement about the beginning of the kiss cam he got tensed. What if you both end up on it? Would he have to kiss you in front of the whole stadium? No way, Renjun isn’t the PDA guy.

Therefore he engages you in a conversation and doesn’t let you even watch the screen of the kiss cam and let’s say he successfully dodged it the first time. Renjun didn’t even let you notice the booing of the people around you.

But the camera had other intentions. He panned the camera on you both once again and this time the audience made sure both of you noticed. Renjun this time just stood up grinning widely and kissed his glass of coke making everyone boo at him again.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” you asked. “It’ll be awkward, you know, in front of all these people.” He knew you felt bad about his actions and Renjun somewhat regretted them too. So the next time you appeared on the kiss cam, he mustered up the courage and with rosy pink cheeks he finally leaned in to press a soft lasting kiss on your lips making you blush as well. “I love you.”

JENO. as your friend

The moment he spots himself on the kiss cam with you he’ll let out a small chuckle while crossing his arms to indicate he can’t kiss you. Boy is already going crazy at the possibility of kissing you and he wants to but the thought of making things awkward stops him.

Jaemin beside him along with the others shouts ‘kiss! kiss!’ trying to push his friend into confessing his feelings but all this only leads Jeno to place a soft kiss on your cheeks which may have unleashed a swarm of butterflies in both of your stomachs but left everyone around you booing.

“Are you for real?!” Jaemin scoffed at his friend’s gentlemanly action which even left Jeno a bit disappointed and thinking only if I had a bit more courage… Maybe the cameraman heard his silent prayer and zoomed the camera on both of you again. This time Jeno gathered himself and asked “Can I kiss you?”

The moment you nodded your head he softly brushed his lips with yours for a few seconds before breaking away to the cheers of everyone around you and ending the sweet moment with a whisper of “Let’s do it properly later.”

HAECHAN. as your boyfriend

His determination to be on the kiss cam began when you jokingly sent him a reel about one out of hundreds of reels you send him on a daily basis. Kiss cams started appearing everywhere for him, instagram, YouTube, twitter… “THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!”

So it’s better to say he’s buying basketball match tickets to be on the kiss cam with you. It’s a part of his bucket list now. Dude has been recklessly buying the tickets for every game this season and will continue to until he comes on it.

He would be restless throughout the game waiting for the kiss cam and when it started he would try anything and everything to get the attention of the cameraman, like suddenly being too touchy with you or holding hands and waving.

And the moment you both appear on the cam boy would literally pounce at you, would kiss you so passionately, moving his leg to your lap and pulling you towards him. “This would definitely land on the Best Kiss Cams Compilation.” he smirked, wiping his lips and breathless “Woah”

JAEMIN. as your boyfriend

When he noticed himself on the kiss cam with you he would just smile brightly, shaking his head a bit as he is amused by the situation.

Jaemin then would slightly nudge you in the shoulder to get your attention, it seems like you still haven’t noticed the kiss cam. But when you do you become all nervous and shy, avoiding eye contact with him.

He would notice your nervousness and hesitation and ask “Are you comfortable with me kissing you?” You knew Jaemin loves PDA and you do too, but kissing in front of all these strangers made it a little awkward. But how can you say no to him?

When you nod in a yes, he would gently place his hands on your cheeks and lean in to place an even delicate kiss on your lips. Jaemin would tilt his head in such a way that your kiss won’t be visible to everyone, so you don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. “You know you look so cute while blushing.”

CHENLE. as your best friend

Chenle came to the basketball match with only one goal, to focus on the match and enjoy it.

But the moment his eyes fell on the kiss cam which captured you a sense of thrill and warmth filled his chest. He would have ignored the cam but who was he to miss a chance of kissing you. He just had the biggest crush on you.

Boy was so occupied in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice that the cam zoomed in on you, him and Jisung. You were sitting between both of them, therefore they had equal opportunities to kiss you. Chenle only focused on you and didn't notice Jisung on the screen as he just shrugged his shoulders inching closer to you “Don’t worry I’ll do it.”

But the moment he saw Jisung on the screen, both of you laughing at the situation, he got nervous… What if you kissed Jisung instead? Therefore he pulled you by arm and placed his other hand behind your neck, kissing you feverishly leaving everyone laughing at his antics, Jisung shaking his head and you in disbelief. “I like you and even the thought of you and Jisung made me lose my mind… will you be my girlfriend?”

JISUNG. as your boyfriend

Your relationship was in the blooming stage when one day Jisung returned with 2 tickets for a baseball match. It’s only been a few weeks (more like two and a half weeks) and watching a baseball match was the perfect date to share sweet memories.

The moment the announcer announced the beginning of the kiss cam Jisung became nervous thinking what if you both appear on the cam? Will he have his first kiss with you in front of thousands of random strangers? Will you be comfortable? Will it make things awkward?

And when you guys did appear on the screen his panic skyrocketed through the roof. His face burning red he would ask you “Do you want to do it?” an awkward smile plastered on his lips, fidgeting his fingers, heavy breathing and when you say yes he would become even more nervous, performance pressure some might say.

Leaning awkwardly with claps and hoots all around you he would softly place his lips on yours, hands holding yours, deep red adorning his cheeks and eyes closed. But the moment he kissed you every worry and nervousness of his would vanish and all he could think about was the feeling of your soft lips on his and he drowned in this feeling, in you. “I’ll remember this forever.”

masterlist. nct dream | nct 127 | wayv navigaation.

a/n. thank you anon for requesting this reaction and i’m really sorry for the delay in posting :(

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lqfiles · 2 years

Text

— nct dream and their favourite places to kiss you

nct dream x reader , genre — fluff!!!

MARK ( 이마크. ) forehead

mark is someone who gets easily embarrassed when showing affection to his significant other, even something as small as holding hands might drive him crazy. however, he came to find out he loves walking up to you and reaching for both sides of your face, giving it a slight squeeze while he internally coos at your cuteness. slight squeezes turned into cheek squashes and those turned more intimate as he’d attach his forehead against yours. it didn’t take long for him to secretly plant his lips on top of your head, praying you wouldn’t notice, or at least be uncomfortable by it. “you know you can just give me a forehead kiss without hiding it?” you’d call him out with a slight chuckle. ever since that day he wouldn’t go one day without giving you one.

RENJUN ( 황런쥔. ) hands

renjun would do it any opportunity he had. may it be when the two of you are walking besides each other and your hands graze past each other, he would swiftly lift it up to his face to place a soft quick peck on it, leaving you speechless. it could be when the two of you are sitting together, hands clasped into each other, that he’d intertwine them tightly and give it a long loving kiss that would leave you blushing, hiding in the crook of his neck as he’d laugh at your flustered state. or it could be when the two of you are just together and you’d tell him how cold it is. without a second thought he’d unconsciously grab ahold of your hand before blowing his hot breath on it and planting a few pecks. it was second nature for him. if only renjun knew the affect this had on you.

JENO ( 이제노. ) collarbones

it started off with just a silly impulsive thought. the two of you were hugging when his lips somehow founds it’s way to your shoulder, softly placing them against your collarbone. jeno never intended on if becoming a habit, but the moment he saw the way you shuddered at the sudden contact, he couldn’t contain his smile before he attacked your collarbone with kiss marks (some becoming actual marks). some would say it was a bit sexual but for jeno there truly was no sexual intent behind those kisses. he’d do it with no reason behind it other than the fact you were close enough for him to kiss your collarbones. it wasn’t like you minded it, you could feel his smile every time he did, and that alone warmed your heart for you to not even care about the mark that could potentially be left if jeno didn’t stop on time.

HAECHAN ( 이해찬. ) cheeks

i seriously believe haechan would be the type to give more cheek kisses than lip to lip kisses. he just loves how he can surprise you with it everywhere and whenever and how accessible it is. he enjoys the fact that it can be considered both an intimate gesture or a platonic one, giving him plenty of reasons as to why he would do it. those could be because “he just thought you deserved one” or “because i missed you.” haechan isn’t against lip kisses, but with cheek kisses he’s able to do it as many times as he can without it having to be romantic or intimate. he also loves the reaction he gets whenever you’re in the middle of a sentence and get cut of by the sudden movement of his before his lips quickly peck your cheek, giving you a small grin before telling you to continue your sentence.

JAEMIN ( 나재민. ) lips

it’s very simple, but jaemin likes it that way. he enjoys having your lips on his more than any other place. he loves the way he can gaze into your eyes as he closes the gap between you two. he likes the way he can pull you closer just to bring both your lips together. he enjoys the way you’ll get you on your tippy toes just to give him a quick peck on the lips that leaves him with wanting more. unlike jeno, jaemin only does it when he has a motive behind it. 9/10 those motives are because he wants to show how he truly loves you and how much you mean to him, resulting in long deep kisses that could last for minutes. he treats lip kisses as a special treat that he only can do if he thinks he hasn’t shown you how much he truly appreciates you. to keep it short, jaemin really really really loves you and shows that through his kisses.

CHENLE ( 종천러. ) neck

chenle rarely kisses you but when he does it must mean something very good has happened to him. and if that’s the case he’ll aim for your neck the moment he sees it. it could be that he won a match in his favorite video game, or maybe he got a day off. in any of those situations chenle will first greet you with the good news before he pulls you in a hug as the two of you celebrate whatever the good news is. next thing you know you can feel his lips trail over your neck as he plants multiple small kisses leading to your lips. if you’re ticklish, chenle loves to do it on purpose. solely because of the way your head cringes to the side to block him from any access. it leaves him laughing himself to death while you send him a small glare, hiding the small laugh that’s in the back of your throat.

JISUNG ( 박지성. ) nose

jisung is the last person to give you a kiss. he’s usually shy about those type of affectionate gestures and keeps it low to small gestures such as holding hands. so lip kisses are a no, or at least something you’d have to initiate. however you were totally caught of guard one day when the two of you said your goodbyes and before you could walk off, he pulled you back and placed his hands on both sides of your head. obviously you’d expect him to kiss your lips but instead he raised his lips higher and placed a soft kiss on the bridge of your nose, biding a small goodbye. ever since that day the two of you would do it at least once a week, jisung starting to get more used to the whole kissing concept.

thank you for reading!

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yutasbellybuttonpiercing · 1 month

Text

What's x in the equation of love?

pairing: huang renjun x reader

au/genre: humor, fluff, a tiny bit of angst, slice of life...?, a bit suggestive, college!au, roommate!yangyang

word count: 7053 words

warnings: cursing ☝🏻, yangyang, bad jokes, i really have no idea what this is, but i find it funny, personally, maths, sex jokes, yangyang is... a bit of an ick, one (1) smooch, fast paced ending because i don't know how to finish stories

synopsis: yangyang decides that you need a tutor, he can't take your whining anymore. hence, you're set up to meet the most perfect man you've ever seen. things tend to become more complicated than they have to be.

a/n: why do i always make my supporting characters so disgusting?

a/n 2: holy shit this took so long, but finally!! the strangers to lovers collection is finished! also, this is my first time not writing smut... which was... weird? but refreshing? i hope you enjoy it anyway... even though no one is boneing...

"I can't do this anymore," you sigh, dropping your pencil onto the squared paper in front of you before letting your head thumb loudly against the tabletop. The sound inevitably startles – first and foremost, but not limited to – your best friend, roommate and study partner Yangyang.

It's not like you're bad at studying. It's just that you somehow managed to slack off on a few courses and now your timetable is filled to the brim with seminars and lectures from different semesters, and it's honestly getting a little too much at this point.

"Maths?" Yangyang finally pipes up after watching your motionless figure hunched over one of the many desks in your university's library, staring blankly ahead into nothingness. As an answer, you just sigh again, sitting up and leaning back in your chair. "Why don't you get a tutor?"

"You're my tutor."

"Listen, I love you – platonically – but if you want me to tutor you in maths, we're going to have a problem," Yangyang motions between you and him with his pen while raising his eyebrows, "because I know less than you do."

"I can't believe you're doing this to me," you whine, maybe a notch too loudly because a whole bunch of heads are harshly turned into your direction, several squinted eyes bore into your body from different angles with death glares, and someone even builds up the courage to 'shh' across the room.

"Not knowing maths?"

"Yes!" You throw your hands up, looking at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. In response, Yangyang just grins, displaying his cute smile before he nudges your shoulder gently. You sigh. "I think I'm going to start crying."

"Please don't, that's cringe. I'll help you find a tutor, alright?"

A few weeks passed since your disastrous study session in the library (definitely not the first nor the last one of those) and in the meantime, Yangyang helped you put up flyers around campus looking for a tutor. Putting your phone number onto the sheet had probably been your first mistake since about half of the calls you got were pervs who, accompanied by a dirty laugh, asked if you needed to be tutored in "sexology". The other half had been a great mixture, a bit of everything, going from 4 invitations to 4 different "best parties ever" to heavy breathing into your ear (which you endured for a solid minute before hanging up to cry into your pillow).

Admittedly, there had been a few serious offers, but somehow they were not good enough for you, either too young, too old, too loud, too fast paced with trying to teach you the content, too this, too that, blah blah blah. Maybe you are just too picky, but would you admit that to Yangyang? Not in this life.

"What's wrong with him?" Yangyang asks as soon as he closes the door behind him, coming home to yet another person leaving your shared apartment with fast and angry steps, and an unreadable, but definitely not happy expression on their face.

"He has a dog."

"So?"

"I'm a cat person."

"With all due respect, but what the fuck?" Yangyang lets his bag drop to the floor so he can motion around with his hands weirdly. "You know you're not supposed to go to the pet shop with them, but let them teach you algebra, right?"

"I know, but trust me. He wasn't good enough for the job." You pout, strolling into the kitchen to make yourself something to eat which in this case means opening a bag of chips and sit down in front of the television to procrastinate and try to forget about the workload and unopened books on your desk that are slowly but surely collecting dust and/or growing mold.

"Could it be that, i don't know, you hypothetically just don't want to get tutored?" Yangyang catches up with you after taking off his shoes at the front door, looking at you accusingly which you only realize after turning your head to send him a sulky look.

"Maybe," you admit and just a second after, Yangyang slaps the back of your head tauntingly which causes you to whine. "What was that for?"

"You can't keep doing this. The next person that's offering to help you, you're going to take. If I hear another 'I can't do this anymore'" – he mocks your signature phrase with a higher pitched voice and odd body movements that remind you of a ship during dangerously harsh motion of the sea – "at 3am, I will move out."

You frown at him, an unuttered blinking battle happening between the two of you before you purse your lips in defeat. "Fine."

"... and I have just the guy in mind."

The guy in mind is no other than Huang Renjun, apparently, as you learn just a day later. Too bad that this information does nothing for you since, honestly, you'd never heard of him before. But hearing nothing about someone means that they can't be that bad, right?

That's what you keep telling yourself on your way to one of your favorite cafés where you're about the meet Yangyang and this Renjun guy in just a few minutes. It's sweet of Yangyang that he wants to help you find a tutor, but honestly, you would have preferred to wallow in self-pity for a couple more days, maybe longer, maybe forever and become a stripper instead.

Studying had always been hard for you, it's not that you're particularly stupid, you just have to realize over and over again that there are many things in this world that are way more interesting, that you'd much rather do than to study.

But maybe this is what you need, a final push into taking care of your life by a dear friend.

Finally, you arrive at your destination, ordering your drink before texting Yangyang a quick message asking about his whereabouts, decorated with an annoyed emoji. The answer comes sadly not in text form as you'd hoped, like something along the lines of "Can't make it, sorry, Renjun is busy" but no. Instead, you hear your name being called and as you look up, there's a particular blonde haired guy waving frantically at you from across the café.

You huff out a breath before moving forward, keeping your eyes to the ground as you make your way towards their table. Maybe, just maybe, you had dreaded this particular meet up and had therefore taken the longer route, and maybe you're a little late.

"Glad you could make it!" Yangyang greets with a fake smile.

"Shut up," you mumble as you sit down next to him, eyes glued to your cup as to not spill any of the liquid on your hands. Or maybe you should let it, it would make a great excuse to leave immediately.

"I'm Renjun!"

God, fuck.

You clutch your chest with your hand, admittedly over-dramatically. You had almost forgotten about him. Quickly, you collect yourself and look up at him, opening your mouth ready to introduce yourself too, but all that comes out is a weird, stertorous breath because holy shit, this guy's- handsome? Pretty? Beautiful? Perfect???

With a worried expression, Yangyang pads your back, probably already imagining you saying that Renjun could not tutor you because his perfume smells too strong, when in reality you'd kill – twice – to only get one tiny whiff of this man's fragrance.

Finally, you have grounded yourself, given Renjun your name and avoided shaking his hand successfully because he does not have to know how sweaty your palms are. Lucky for you, Yangyang remembers an insanely interesting topic that he has to talk to Renjun about, giving you the time and opportunity to study Renjun's face and everything else about him that is exposed to your eyes above the tabletop.

The first eye catcher would be his two toned hair that gently curls around his cheeks, framing it as if his face is a beautiful painting, which in your opinion, it certainly is. Next, you focus on his eyes that still seem to sparkle, even in the shitty light of the cheap café. He also has extremely beautiful lips, so slender, but at the same time so plush and full, so incredibly kissable. And his big nose...

A sudden shadow comes into your line of view, quickly followed by a quick, stinging pain as Yangyang pinches your nose to get your attention.

"What?!" You exclaim, holding onto your nose to, honestly, feel if it's still there as you look at Yangyang with squinted eyes full of annoyance.

"I've asked you something, like, three times." Yangyang chuckles as he pinches your earlobe next. "Did you space out again thinking about the amount of liquid a bladder can hold?"

"That is an embarrassing piece of information that I would have preferred to stay between the two of us." You grit your teeth as you glare at Yangyang. "And stop pinching me!" You hit Yangyang's hand as he reaches out to pinch your cheek next.

Yangyang laughs, "I'm sorry, it was my fault for occupying your study date for so long. I'll be on my way now. Have fun, but not too much fun since this is only maths and it would be weird if you had fun."

And with that, Yangyang disappears, completely ignoring your pleading puppy-eyes as he grabs his bag and waves, almost bumping into the waitress on his way out, apologizing profoundly before smirking, and asking for her number.

Now, it's just the two of you alone and with every second that Yangyang's gone the awkward silence thickens and your death wish upon Yangyang grows.

"So, uhm." Renjun clears his throat, sorting through his papers quickly before placing them down again in the initial order. "Yangyang sent me the topics of your maths course for this semester so I've brought some material."

You nod, finding it particularly hard to focus on anything but Renjun's perfect eyebrows, which is also the reason you can't really appreciate or be surprised that Yangyang actually put this much effort into something for little old you.

"I would like to make a plan, like repeating study dates, and I'd love to discuss the topics of each lesson right now so we're prepared. We can time it with your lectures and go over the stuff beforehand so you're prepared for each lecture. I mean, if that's something you want?" Renjun looks up from his notes, his eyes directly meeting yours and you feel yourself melt.

"Yes, of course." You're surprised that you managed to bring out actual words and not just a needy whine because... anything with you is something I'd want. You can do anything with me. Anything.

Anything.

"Great!"

And just like that, you're diving head first into your first study session with Renjun and you have to admit, he is incredibly smart and great at explaining, and, as long as you don't look at him directly or for too long, you believe he could really help you with your maths problems.

An hour later, you part ways, half bowing, half waving at each other, both still too new to the situation to be able to define your relationship and therefore agree on a proper way of saying goodbye, but so be it. The inner shame you're feeling about your awkward goodbye will hopefully subside in the next few hours. Or days. As soon as you turn the corner you bump into someone.

After an exaggerated intake of air, you glare at him. "Don't tell me you were waiting here this whole time."

"Brought my Nintendo." Yangyang smiles, waving the device in front of your face.

"Still weird."

"Did you really expect me to miss the first opportunity in my life of you telling me that I was right?" Yangyang beams confidently and as much as you fight it, a smile creeps onto your features as well because, yes, he had been right, Renjun is perfect at tutoring as well as every other aspect you've seen so far.

"He has a what?!"

"A girlfriend," Yangyang repeats, but it's so muffled by the food stuffed into his mouth that you believe you misheard him again. Or maybe that's just you hoping.

"A what?"

"Girlfriend."

"What?"

"GIRLFRIEND!!"

"And that's why he can't tutor me?!"

Yangyang swallows before answering this time and you're thankful for that. "Apparently. He just told me to tell you."

On the outside, you may have looked normal in this moment, just staring at Yangyang with an indifferent look on your face, but on the inside? It's like a whole world crushing down behind your eyes. In your head, there are at least 20 different little 'you's running around screaming and waving their arms around frantically, everything is one fire, in the distance: sirens. Why had no one mentioned Renjun's girlfriend before? You could've spend the past nights planning scenarios in your head about marrying him as you fell asleep doing something... something else! Something with a perspective, at least.

Of course, Renjun has a girlfriend. Honestly, you'd have been surprised if he didn't have one, but it still kind of stung right there in your chest, all your little fantasies that you've made up during movie nights with Yangyang vaporizing into thin air at the thought that he already is someone's.

"Why do you seem so upset by this? Could it be that you, i don't know, mayhaps like him?" Yangyang smirks, dropping his chopsticks to fold his hands under his chin, leaning his elbows onto the table to smirk at you.

"No." You stare back at him without a hint of emotion on your features. "I just need him to tutor me."

Yangyang sighs, picking his chopsticks back up, seemingly disappointed by the lack of crush you pretend to have on Renjun. There are not too many things you're good at, but hiding your feelings is one of them.

"Is something wrong?" Renjun finally asks you.

You've been sitting at your dining table for quite some time now and all you did so far was sulkingly pout and not look him in the eyes. Remember when you said that you're good at hiding your feelings? Scratch that when it comes to Renjun.

Renjun looks at you worriedly, clicking his pen thrice before putting it down on his book, your eyes following his every movement until you finally look up into his eyes. "Are you mad because I raised my voice when I told you to take the square root for the n-th time? Because if-"

"No, it's not that. There's just a lot on my mind lately." You sigh, eyes going back to the sheet of paper in front of you as you fiddle around with your pen almost nervously.

"You can always talk to me, you know?" Renjun finally says after you've been pretending to work on your task for quite some time. You raise your eyebrows simultaneously with your head to look at him in disbelief. "If you want to, of course..."

"I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate that..." You mumble, hoping he would not hear it, but apparently, Renjun's ears are extraordinarily intact and a tiny smile tucks at the corners of his mouth. You watch him as he leans back in his chair, closing his book to symbolize the ending of this study session, though his pen is still stuck in between the pages, bulging through the thin pages and the wobbly cover.

Renjun sighs, seemingly in deep thought about what to tell you next and a tiny wave of anxiety washes over you at the thought that maybe you've just given away your slowly but surely forming crush on him, and scared him away.

"I don't-" Renjun takes a deep breath, "I don't care what she thinks."

Your eyebrows shoot upwards at the speed of light. Out of all the possible answers in this scenario, this would've been your last guess. What's that even supposed to mean? Your surprise at his words seem to be showing on your face since Renjun leans forward onto his forearms, minimizing the space in between the two of you.

"Look..." He begins, but seems to be in trouble about how to put his situation into words. "Let's just say, it's not going too well. Let's leave it at that."

You nod understandingly, briefly licking over your lower lip, averting your eyes away from his form. To say you're not curious would be a lie, though you respect his wish to leave it at that, silently sorting your things as Renjun stuffs his own into his backpack. "I'll walk you out."

The next study session has you biting your nails in nervousness. Renjun seems to be in an exceptionally bad mood today, and he has no problem raising his voice at you every time you make an unnecessary mistake. You try your best to ignore the way that's making you feel, given the mood he's in, but you try to remember that feeling for the next time you're alone.

"What's up with you today?"

Renjun huffs, leaning back in his chair to fiddle with his fingers in his lap. He looks kind of cute like that, you have to admit, but you keep that thought to yourself for obvious reasons, instead taking a sip of your water to hide the small smile forming on your face.

"We broke up."

You spit the water out all over the table, wetting a few of your work sheets in the process. Renjun, unfazed by your sudden fountain imitation, just sighs, eyes trained on his hands as you try to dry all of the wet stains on the wooden and papery surfaces with tissues.

"It's not like I'm not glad about the decision, it's just that... I was so used to her presence in my life," Renjun continues as if you didn't just spit a few droplets onto his pants, "the circumstances for our break-up were also... unfortunate."

"I'm so sorry," you say, a squelching flapping sound of the soaked glob of tissues hitting the ground next to the garbage can accompanying your words as you reach out to gently pad his forearm. You notice the way his eyes focus on the exact spot where you touch him.

Quickly, you retort your hand, suddenly feeling like that had just been the worst decision of your life, but Renjun grabs your wrist before you pull it out of his reach. "It's okay, you can touch me."

You don't want to admit to the rush of warmth spreading over your body at his words, not even to yourself. It's embarrassing, he didn't even mean it like that, but it still gets you all hot and bothered. There are just many, many places and occasions where you'd like to touch him.

"There's no one to stop you," Renjun adds, chuckling gently as he refers to his now ex girlfriend and obviously himself. It seems like your silence didn't go unnoticed by him.

"May I ask... what happened?"

Renjun blinks at you, and for a split second, you believe asking was a mistake. But then, he answers, "It's been... not going well for a while now. We're too different, and I honestly fell out of love with her a long time ago. Plus-"

Renjun halts for a moment, before he continues, "there's someone that... made me realize that there are still many other good options out there."

"Ah, really?" You chuckle awkwardly. You're aware that if your friends were here right now, they'd all nudge your sides with their elbows, grinning widely in belief he's talking about you. You, on the other hand, are not so sure about that.

"I only met this person a few weeks ago, but I feel like... there's a connection. I mean, I don't know what it is, but I'm insanely attracted to- that person." Renjun scratches the back of his head, eyes locking with yours as if he's waiting for you to say something.

"I- can relate," you try.

"What if-" Renjun starts, but then begins shaking his head, "never mind."

You don't see Renjun for a few weeks. Every time, it's either you or him who has to cancel the meeting due to personal reasons. Yangyang is the one accompanying you during your solo study sessions, tapping away on his phone as you massage your temples with such force that you're surprised the you haven't rubbed any holes into your skull yet.

"Why isn't he coming today?" Yangyang pipes up, putting his phone onto the table with the screen facing down. You sigh so heavily and dramatically that Yangyang raises an eyebrow. You throw your pencil onto the wooden surface so hard that it rolls over the expanse of the table until it falls to the ground at the opposite end.

"I don't know," you say through gritted teeth, throwing Yangyang a stern look like he's a bird that just took a fat dump right onto the wind shield of your new car.

"Woah," Yangyang throws his hands up intermediately, mouth agape in fake offense, "no need to lash out on me like that, I'm not occupying your sexy tutor right now."

"Why are you calling him that?" You gasp.

"Because that's what you think he is," Yangyang states, nodding with a smile on his face. You sigh.

"I mean, he's not ugly," you reason, but that statement is enough for Yangyang to pull out his folder almost spilling over with collages and collections of white dresses, suits, napkins and bouquets to plan your wedding. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

"I think he wants you too," Yangyang sighs dreamily, folding his hands underneath his chin to rest it on top.

"Calm down, cupid, he just broke up with his girlfriend."

"For you," Yangyang sing-songs, dragging out the words as he finger-guns at you, "now we just need a plan to get you two to- you know," Yangyang motions with his hands and you're not completely sure whether he's trying to symbolize intercourse or solving an invisible Rubix cube.

"No."

"Yes!" Yangyang gasps offendedly.

"No! I need him to tutor me! Even if, hypothetically, he was madly in love with me," – you scoff to hide a forming grin – "I need his help! The exam is in just under a week, and neither him nor I can get distracted during these times of terror!"

Yangyang just watches you doubtfully.

"Believe me, it's better if I just study on my own. I can always ask him via text," you announce your final stance, waving your phone in the air to prove that due to the break-throughs of modern technology over the past years, he's just the press of a button away.

Yangyang does not budge nor react.

"What I'm trying to say is: do not get involved!" You screech, opting to throw a balled up piece of paper into his face that he doges with ease.

Apparently, your words mean nothing to Yangyang because just a day later he's invited you to the same cheap café where you had met Renjun for the first time. Too bad that Yangyang didn't show up. Someone else did show up, though, and it was no other than the complete content of your last month's dreams: Renjun.

"Where-" you begin, but soon realize that this is a set-up, and you make a mental note to strangle Yangyang as soon as you get home. With a slight smile, Renjun sits down across from you, hands wrapped around his paper cup filled with what you assume is tea, judging by the little label on a string dangling from under the lid.

"I swear to God, I'm going to kill him," you mutter, but Renjun suddenly puts a hand onto your forearm, your gaze burning into the pretty birthmark on the back of his hand immediately.

"Please don't," Renjun says, voice so soft that you have to pull yourself together as to not slide off your chair to melt into a puddle on the floor. Instead, you look up to find his beautiful eyes already locking with yours. "You need me right now, in these times of terror."

"He told you about that," you whine, face scrunching up in embarrassment.

"Yes," Renjun nods, pressing his lips together to symbolize empathy for your situation, that you accept with a sigh. Renjun does not need to know, and will never find out, that you actually will bury Yangyang alive in your neighbor's yard once you get back, or at least bewitch him so he never dares to darken your doorstep again. "The important thing is, I'm here. And I will get you through that exam."

"Honestly, I might as well just drop out. It's useless, you're just wasting your time. I should just become a stripper or something," you complain, fingers picking at your chipped off nail polish.

"As much as I'd love to see that..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. I don't want you to give up so easily! You can do this, I believe in you!" Renjun fakes a grin and shakes his fists in the air. "Jiāyóu~!"

You grimace at the expression, but then break out a smile as well. God, you missed him. Honestly, when you're looking at him, all the motivation his pretty eyes contain kind of latch onto you as well. Maybe you can do it, but not without his help.

"I'm free every day starting tomorrow."

"Sounds good to me."

A mathematics-marathon should be the last thing to be excited for, though you still found yourself sleepless rolling around your mattress the night prior, a giggling grin on your face as you imagined the next 3 days to be filled with nothing but quality time with Renjun. Even Yangyang is surprised seeing you up so early the next day, making coffee with a smile and a tune on your lips, and even a 'good morning' – something he hadn't received in years, maybe not ever.

"Alright, all set?" You ask, beaming.

"Yeah?"

"Great! I'll go masturbate!"

"Why?"

"Because I have to be able to focus on studying-"

"No, why are you telling me this?" Yangyang whines, shielding his ears with his palms to protect them from more tmi, though you huff out a laugh before leaning in to pinch his cheek.

"Yangie, you're so silly! Anyway, he'll be here soon, open the door for him when he's here, yeah?" You pad his head before turning to storm off to your room.

"Who?" Yangyang's brows furrow at the lack of knowledge he has regarding the situation. As if on cue, the doorbell rings. You squeak happily, then go to open the door for Renjun who stands there looking handsome as ever.

"Hi," he smiles, body decorated with a huge binder in his arm, a bag crossing over his torso and a small suitcase in his unoccupied hand. He looks breathtaking as always, and you almost forget to let him inside.

"Renjun!" It sounds from Yangyang who finally built up enough curiosity to sneak up on whoever just entered your shared home. Renjun smiles and waves at him as he rids himself of his coat and shoes. You can do nothing but watch in awe at how someone can look this enticing hanging a piece of clothing to a wall. Yangyang does not waste a second before wrapping an arm around Renjun's shoulders to drag him away.

"Where are you taking him?" Your brows furrow as you grab ahold of Renjun's wrist to stop him from going anywhere, ignoring the rush of excitement flowing through you at the feeling of his body's warmth.

"Thought you wanted to go masturbate," Yangyang bites back with a dirty grin. He always acts like a mess on mornings, but apparently it's all been an act, he seems to be able to throw you under the bus just fine.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about," you speak sweetly to Renjun, guiding him with you to sit at the table, but not before throwing Yangyang a dirty look. Renjun seems a bit taken aback, but generally grown accustomed to your continuous bickering.

If this was a movie, there would be a montage of studying clips with energetic rock music playing in the background right now. Of you chewing on your pencil, Renjun pointing at an equation in the book, explaining stuff with a serious expression and you nodding along. You scribbling away on a sheet of paper furiously, Renjun pinching the bridge of his nose while shaking his head. You throwing your pencil through the room in defeat before placing your head on the table top with Renjun patting your shoulder. Yangyang on the couch deeply invested in his Nintendo DS, occasionally picking his nose. Renjun motioning his hands in the air as you squint at him and nod. You showing Renjun how you managed to solve the equation, but Renjun presses his lips together. You screaming, claw-like hands shaking in the air as hot tears wet your cheeks. Renjun standing up, his own hands in his hair, panicking. Yangyang munching on a piece of toast which goes down the wrong pipe causing him to cough violently. The sun moving over the sky before being replaced by the moon at a sped-up pace, implying that these moments were happening over the course of multiple days. You sniffling, wiping your eyes every few seconds as you write something down again with Renjun nervously biting his nails and pacing around the room. You handing Renjun the paper, your hands shaking, and Renjun's eyes going wide, a smile forming on his lips. You screaming and cheering, jumping up and down celebrating, the sudden noise causing Yangyang to jump and fall of the couch.

"I'm going to the toilet," Yangyang announces, "don't wait up."

"Okay, ha-"

"I'm going to poop! Jesus, have you ever heard of privacy? You guys are so nosy," Yangyang whines before exiting the room. Renjun throws you a questioning look that you do not see, only sense, as your eyes are focused on the numbers and letters on your sheet of paper.

"He gets stressed when a costumer of his Style Boutique isn't happy with the item he chose for them," you briefly explain.

"Oh, so that's what he's been playing for the past two days?"

"What did you think?" You mumble, tongue catching between your lips as you punch the keys of your calculator until it finally gives you the answer you longed for.

"I don't know actually. Good for him," Renjun smiles.

"He's trying to get to the platinum level at the fashion contests right now."

"Sounds dedicated."

"I'm done! Check it please," you draw out the last syllable to sound cute, and if your brain wasn't filled with purely maths, you'd probably cringe at yourself right now. Renjun grins and takes the paper from you. Going through the lines, he keeps nodding, and you bite your pointer finger over your folded hands anxiously.

"Well, except that the answer is plus and minus 3, you managed to get everything right," Renjun beams, scribbling a little smiley next to your answer. You clap your hands in front of your chest, feeling relieved. Your heart beats a little faster as you watch Renjun flip through the pages.

"Okay, this one is really hard. If you get this right, you're definitely acing this topic," Renjun explains, the tip of his pen quickly drawing tiny little dots next to the exercise on the papery surface of the math book.

"I can do it," you nod and high five him before diving in.

While your nose is buried in your notes, scribbling away furiously, Renjun anxiously leans back. Yangyang reenters the room, locking eyes with Renjun who smiles nervously.

Yangyang grins, eyes darting to your hunched over form at the table, tongue stuck between your lips in upmost concentration, then back to Renjun, and he wiggles his brows teasingly. Renjun, innocent as he is, tilts his head in confusion. Yangyang stares at your form again, eyes widening purposely before doing the same while looking at Renjun, then he purses his lips to mimic a kiss. Renjun stares blankly ahead, still not getting it.

Yangyang groans silently before dramatically pointing at you with both hands, then to Renjun, before balling his fists and thrusting his hips into the distance between his hands, then halting and staring at Renjun intently.

Renjun blushes profusely and looks away.

Yangyang chuckles dirtily.

That makes you look up, "what?"

You notice Yangyang grinning and Renjun looking ready for the ground to swallow him whole. "Don't worry about it," Yangyang says grinning evilly before flopping back down on the couch, miscalculating the distance and almost tumbling back off.

Renjun gulps, you notice, and smiles at you awkwardly. You shrug and get back to calculating. Renjun is sweating, nervously gazing at Yangyang who is back in his Style Boutique, then at you as you write down something on your sheet of paper. Renjun notices the way your lashes curve softly, and how you slightly puff out your cheeks in concentration, and he can't help but recall the moment a minute ago, and what Yangyang was implying.

"I am sweating buckets," you inform everyone in hearing radius, and it's true. There are pearls of sweat running down your back right now, party because the next one and a half hours are going to determine the course of your enter life, and partly because, as well established by now: Renjun.

"You can do it," Renjun says full of energy, having woken up extra early to send you on your way into the exam, both of his hands on your shoulders, shaking you lightly, "repeat after me."

"I can do it," you say, trying to sound determined, as a bypassing student accidentally bumps into your arm as they enter the classroom.

"Yes!" Renjun nods, gazing softly into your eyes, his soft smile faltering a little as you gaze back into his eyes, your gaze unmistakably flickering down to his lips as he is standing so close. You gulp and nod, forcing a smile.

The awkward tension lingers in the air for a bit before another student bumping into you rips you from your daze.

"Maybe I should-" you say, clearing your throat, and Renjun nods.

"I'll be rooting for you," Renjun smiles, waving as you turn around and enter the room, sending him a last nervous, tight-lipped smile before disappearing in the midst of other nervous students.

Not really knowing what to do with himself, Renjun sits down on the floor across the room, scrolling on his phone and checking the time bi-minutely. He falls asleep soon after, and if he could see the way he is sitting from a third person's POV, he would be concerned for the state of his neck.

A loud smack on the top of his head with a playboy magazine wakes him up.

Immediately in fight mode, he takes the pose he learned in self defense class, but he soon realizes it's just Yangyang.

"Hello Romeo," he teases, plopping down next to Renjun far too carelessly for the solidity of the hallway floor, and Renjun halts briefly to worry about YangYang's tailbone, but he seems just fine. Yangyang seems to have no problems showing off his porn magazine as he openly leaves it laying on his lap.

"Hello Yangyang," Renjun replies briefly, forcing himself to look at the ceiling as to not lock eyes with a pair of boobs.

"What's ya fine ass doing here?"

Renjun vaguely gestures towards the closed door of the room you're currently taking your maths exam in. Yangyang's eyes follow his hand, grinning deviously as he finally rolls the playboy magazine up and stuffs it into the side pocket of his cargo pants.

"Waiting for your girlfriend, huh?"

"She's not my girlfriend..." Renjun mumbles, blushing.

Yangyang pokes his side obnoxiously hard, making Renjun tilt his body to avoid a bruise. "C'mon... it's obvious."

Renjun shifts in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. Yangyang was never one to be bothered by that.

"You like her, don't you? It's hot to you that she's as dumb as a bread," Yangyang grins, and after receiving a questioning look by Renjun clarifies, "a German expression."

"I... maybe I like her... she's funny and... sweet and... pretty smart except for maths," Renjun shrugs timidly.

Yangyang blinks at him, "agree to disagree... anyway! You should totally shoot your shot."

This time, Renjun blinks wordlessly, then after a moment says, "I don't think she even likes me."

"Are you joking?!" Yangyang shrieks, causing a few heads turn towards them, but he pays them no mind. "She's literally been head over heels for you since like 1947."

"We weren't even born then... my parents weren't even born then," Renjun points out.

"Dude," Yangyang comes unnecessarily close, "trust me. She's dtf!"

Renjun blinks, unfamiliar with the acronym.

"Oh my God, am I the only person familiar with slang? Is math really all you do?" Yangyang shakes his head in disbelief, and as Renjun opens his mouth to protest, to inform Yangyang that he, in fact, has various hobbies that have very little to do with maths, and besides, that math provides a lot of fun activities, like sudoku, but Yangyang stops him, "doesn't matter. She," he halts, rolling his eyes at the forced lack of euphemisms and exaggeration, "likes you."

Renjun does not seem convinced.

"Look, I'll give you my pair of Air Jordan 4 Retro Kaws Sneakers if I'm wrong," Yangyang says seriously.

"Why would I want your worn out shoes?"

"For God's sake!" Yangyang rubs his hands over his face, "why are we friends again?"

"Well, we met on vacation in 2017 and you said "on fleek, Chinese bros for the win," and you wouldn't leave me alone after."

"Chinese bros for the win," Yangyang repeats proudly, making Renjun glance around in embarrassment.

In that same moment, the door opens, revealing your figure sneaking out. With a glance at the time, Renjun immediately has a bad feeling about this. Not even two thirds of the time have passed since you entered the exam room, and from experience (of others, he himself has never had an issue with any exams), Renjun knows this usually doesn't end well.

You spot both boys sitting on the floor and step over. Renjun has never been more unable to read someone's emotional state. Hence, he gets up, preparing for the worst.

"And?" He asks hesitantly. In response, you shrug, informing them that you'll get the results an hour after the exam is finished. Renjun sighs, not a big fan of this uncertainty, but what choice does he have? Bribing the professor to look over your exam first and let him know whether you passed or not? ... that's not legal, right?

Three pairs of eyes are anxiously trained on your iPad screen in the middle of the table. Well, one pair of eyes, rather, since your eyes are fixated on how pretty Renjun's nose looks from this angle, and Yangyang is unmistakably scrolling on TikTok.

"Can you refresh again?" Renjun basically begs, gaze catching yours. He looks so distressed that it seemed as if he was waiting for his own results to come in. Well, in a way, he is.

Just as the clock strikes, you refresh the page, and a new email shows up. You gulp, glancing at Renjun who seems to be sweating buckets as he picks at his cuticles anxiously. Even Yangyang has abandoned his phone on the table, watching with interest. Hesitantly, your finger hovers over the email.

"I can't even look," Renjun brings out, covering his eyes with his birth marked hand. You take a deep breath before opening the document. A bone chilling screech emits from your throat, and no one is sure as to what that means.

Renjun, hand still covering his eyes, shrieks, "what??"

You grab onto his wrist and pull his hand away from his face, grinning widely "56%!"

It takes a moment to register in Renjun's brain, but then his jaw drops, the corners of his mouth pulling into a huge grin, "56%!!"

Confused, Yangyang watches. 56% isn't really that much...

"You did is!" Renjun cheers, getting up at the same time as you, wrapping his arms around your waist without even thinking and spinning you around happily.

"We did it!" You correct him with a happy grin, cheering along with him as you celebrate. Yangyang raises a skeptical brow, but his face contorts in slight amusement. The according to Yangyang slightly cringe celebration goes on for a good while before you seem to be calming down.

Renjun's eyes gaze deeply into yours, "I told you you could do it..."

"This was mostly your work, honestly..." you whisper back, gulping a little as you shamelessly stare at his lips, watching has his tongue wets them, Another quick look into Renjun's eyes and your lips crash into each other, hands frantically pulling the other close.

"Oh wow," Yangyang comments, shocked, but not surprised, grinning dirtily as he pats himself on the shoulder, fully convinced that he is to take full credit for this.

Renjun's lips feel so soft and perfect against yours that you fear you will lose consciousness if this continues on for much longer – not that you mind. It's as if all these weeks of pining, dreaming and wishing were not in vain. Completely tuning out Yangyang's speech about how he knew all along, you and Renjun lose yourselves in your own little world, tongues too shy to dart out just yet.

You finally part after a bit, slowly opening your eyes to stare at each other with what could only be described as the beginning of a love that will bloom beautifully. Renjun clears his throat awkwardly, but he can't help but smile softly as you gulp and timidly bite your lip.

"So..." Yangyang announces, snapping you out of your trances and making you both look at him, "when can we expect babies?"

"Yangyang..." Renjun groans defeatedly, and you grab your slipper off your foot to hit Yangyang with it, who laughs menacingly as he tumbles off his chair and takes off into his room, but not without another comment, "name one after me!"

#renjun #huang renjun #renjun fluff #renjun fic #kpop #smut #nct #kpop smut #nct fanfic #fem reader #nct dream #nct x reader #neohub

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sixzeroes · 1 year

Text

candy! a miniseries featuring nct dream’s ‘00 liners + a collection of short oneshots.

huang renjun, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin are a couple of buds in their senior year of high school. not a single one of them is taken and all of them probably have questionable rizz. but that’s alright, because love is love and having good rizz does not correlate with scoring a romantic relationship. (that’s why all four of them were able to find a girlfriend by the summer after graduating.)

alternatively, just a bunch high school romance aus that i mourn because i wish i was a teenage girl again instead of a tired adult.

inspired by nct dream’s mini album, candy.

EP.01 : ❝ you are my tangerine love. ❞

huang renjun has liked people before. he’s not some special case where his heart is solely reserved for his one true love—no, none of that shoujo manga bullshit. but whenever he sees you, his neighbour of ten years, renjun feels this sweet, tangy taste in his heart.

pairing. huang renjun x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, neighbours-to-lovers, high school au, non-idol au.

status. every time my type!

EP.02 : ❝ the feeling that reminds me of you. ❞

lee jeno has had you as his best friend for as long as he can remember. every step of the way, you were there, stuck to his side like glue. jeno always believed you’d be his best friend forever, so why is he starting to view you in a different, non-platonic light?

pairing. lee jeno x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, (best) friends-to-lovers, high school au, childhood friends au, non-idol au.

status. one step, crunch.

EP.03 : ❝ i walk this cold path with you. ❞

lee donghyuck did not believe in ‘love at first sight.’ key word: did. he does now, but only because you happened to fall into his arms on the icy road in the narrow streets. you’re going to render him breathless from the countless times your smile takes his breath away.

pairing. lee donghyuck x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, strangers-to-lovers, high school au, meet-cute au, non-idol au.

status. breathe in, breathe out.

EP.04 : ❝ can i stay by your side forever? ❞

na jaemin does not like you, not one bit. you’re one brat of a student body president, never failing to show-off to him. but on the day of your high school graduation, you unexpectedly confess to him, and all of a sudden, you’re more important than suneung results.

pairing. na jaemin x reader(f). genres. fluff, romance, slice of life, academic-rivals-to-lovers, high school au, non-idol au.

status. coming soon.

nabi’s note | i need to stop coming up with new ideas when i haven’t even finished my other fics. anyway, this is gonna be my return to writing on tumblr bc i rly rly wanna write smth for dream’s winter special !! all of these are probs gonna be ard 2–5k words, and (hopefully) no more than that lol :”

btw | all of these fics are written from the boys’ povs’! so please don’t be shocked if they’re a little wonky D:

taglist | @matchahyuck @lovehowdream @niinjo @jeonnyread @pckeia @dandelionxgal @huangstape @lemarkjun @mosviqu @neosdaisy @haven-cove @toothfa-1-ry

please send an ask or comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list! <3

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127luvr · 11 months

Note

Hey, could you do (if u feel up to it) a platonic NCT Dream x male reader where he feels he doesn't fit into the group (only added in 2019)

Thanks

Best Friend 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

Nct Dream x Male Reader

It was early 2019 when the company announced you were to be added to Nct Dream. The exact date slips your mind more than you would care to admit. Mostly due to the fact that everything seemed too rushed—from Mark’s graduation—to your sudden addition—to the release of the first album as Dream without Mark Lee.

You were never sure if the decision to add you to the group was something the company had planned beforehand or something they came up with on the spot—you were too scared to ask. Nevertheless, fans had the same questions. They were split—half saying that this scheme the company had planned to replace Mark wasn’t going to work—while the other half were defending you. Busy making sure your name wasn’t dragged through the mud just because of the shady planning behind the scenes. None of it was your fault—the graduation system was always something that was on the table for the unit.

Knowing this information and understanding it didn’t stop you from feeling guilty.

Your late addition was awkward at first—having never been in the group when Mark was in it shifted the dynamic. You didn’t have to get used to Jeno being the leader, you were introduced when he was the leader. And although they never consciously made the effort to make you feel excluded, the feeling was still there. It was clear that they were still grieving the loss of their friend in their group—and suddenly here you were. Preparing for their first album without Mark.

After the success of We Boom, you went from being Mark’s replacement to just (Y/s/n). Fans saw you as a proper member now—and while there were still some skeptics, they acknowledged you and your talents. There were no malicious intentions towards you but something still didn’t feel right.

Following Reload, you were tired. It had been over a year since you had been added to the group but the feeling of being a disposable member was still overwhelmingly present. You felt like you were watching the members from afar, as if you were still a trainee admiring them from a screen. So close but never quite close enough to reach out to. There was no point in bringing up your concerns with them—scared of how they’d react to it, considering they have been friends long before you were a part of the company. If one of the members disliked you—it was more than probable that the rest would follow.

When the news broke out that the company was abolishing the graduation system, the group was overjoyed. Of course, you were excited too. You got to experience Mark Lee in the same group that you were in. But as the time quickly came to pass, his addition back into the group made you feel worse. He was everything you envied. Perfect at dancing—at singing—at rapping—at communicating. There was nothing he couldn’t do.

Luckily this came at a time where a full album was being promoted—no one would be able to analyze your interactions with your unit if you were busy in others.

“You’ve been avoiding us.” Sooner or later—you would have had to face your members. You had hoped it would be later. Maybe never, as you would have rather spent your time watching videos on the internet on yourself—how you didn’t fit into the group as a whole—let alone your set unit. But it’s come now, in the form of leader Mark in all his glory. “I know I haven’t been back for long, (Y/n). I know that this has been our first comeback as an eight member group, but something’s off.”

It’s after a live video. The eight of you are sitting in the living room of the large dorms. Jeno, Jaemin, Mark and Jisung all share a couch while Chenle sits on the floor. You share the couch opposite to them with Haechan and Renjun, sitting as far as you could get with your ankles crossed. It’s an uncomfortable silence that follows Mark’s words, all eyes on you while you played with the frayed ends of your sweatshirt.

“(Y/n). We are all a part of this group. Regardless of how long everyone’s known each other, you are a part of this family too.”

“I’ve been waiting so long to hear that.” There are collective gasps that come from around the room. It catches you off guard when you make eye contact with an angry Jaemin. His hard eyes paired with his long eyelashes intimidate you.

“(Y/n), I know you’re entitled to how you feel and this has been such a drastic change for you, but we have been trying with you for over a year. We have gone out of our way to make sure you didn’t feel left out.” You hate how well he’s able to articulate himself even under stress, his words falling on your ears heavily as he continues. “I do want to apologize on behalf of everyone for not noticing how hard you were struggling, we should’ve pieced it together. You never came to us with problems but we also never established that you could. We’re sorry for never giving you verbal communication but you can’t say we didn’t try. We are not a group who has to really say things out loud so we understand each other but you didn’t know that.”

You let yourself inch closer to the members next to you. There was no point in trying to make yourself smaller when the attention was still centered on you. It’s an odd sensation—to think back on the interactions you’ve had with individual members.

They were always there for you—whether it was a simple affirmation from Jeno or an invite to hot pot from either Renjun and Haechan. To them it was small acts to try and ease you into the group—it was sharing water outside of the recording booth in between sessions. It was sharing jackets and pushing their leftovers towards you if they didn’t want anymore.

“Jaemin… Haechan, Renjun, Jeno, Jisung, Chenle,” you make eye contact with each member as you call out their names, trying to express how you felt through your eyes, “Mark. I was too in my own head—thinking about how you guys didn’t like me or want me here that all of the effort you put into making me feel wanted and welcome was ignored.” You couldn’t hold eye contact with Mark anymore, too embarrassed to acknowledge his nod of encouragement.

“We also should apologize.” Jeno’s voice startles you. Even if he was across the room, his voice carried so far it sounded as if he were sitting right next to you. “We should’ve done a better job of noticing that you were struggling.”

“I think if we keep going like this we’ll never stop passing the blame around.” You can’t help but smile at Jisung’s comment, mouthing a small thank you towards Jeno as he elbowedJisung’s side.

“Jisung’s right for once!”

The group erupts in laughter, the scene causing you to chuckle through teary eyes.

“Here’s to new beginnings, guys. We’re a family.” Mark’s eyes never stray from you and for the first time in over a year, you believe those words.

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ilwonuu · 4 months

Note

hi !! i saw ur req where open and i wanted to take this opportunity to ask for some platonic reader x nct bcos i’m just a sucker for platonic love and i barely see it anywhere 😓😓😓

maybe someone from the 00 line ? (i’m not too picky tbh) helping the reader with their crush ?! wether that be helping to ask them out or even making small moves like talking to them !! i need to see my 00 line in their wingman era ☝️

thank you again author <3

YES OMG I LOVE WRITING PLATONIC LOVE PLS SEND IN SOMETHING ELSE IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS!! i would love to do them. thank you for ur request!! i hope you enjoy<3

°˖ ✧best friend. h.renjun

summary- your best friend helps you confess to haechan about the crush you have on him.

warnings- fluffy besties, u kiss haechan, joking, slight alcohol consumption, idk what else

authors note- i love this sm. lmk if i should write a follow up with haechan smut or fluff<3

you and renjun have been friends almost your whole life. going through every stage of life with him. he is your best friend and your favorite person.

he always takes care of you like family and loves you the same. you two live together. you two cook and clean together. he always helps you feel better about any doubts that you have.

“jun? can you help me with something?” you ask him as you walk into his bedroom. he nods. “what’s up?” you sit down looking at him nervously. “so.. you know i have the biggest crush on haechan. i was gonna ask if you could help me confess to him?”

“woah! y/n you’re ready to confess??? look at you!!” he laughs playfully pushing your arm. “yes yes but jun im nervous..” he shakes his head. “don’t be nervous!!! i bet he feels the same way. he has been acting different around you..” he says smiling at you. “you really think so?” you are overthinking this now. what if he rejects you? “yes i know so. and if the slight chance i’m wrong i’m here as emotional support okay? now what were you thinking? how do you want to do it?”

you think to yourself for a second. “i’m really not sure. i feel like he would be confused if i asked him to hangout alone. what if we invite him and mark to hangout with us. i tell him then?” he doesn’t say a word for a bit trying to think about what you said. “that could work but i think i have a better idea if thats okay? i think we could hangout with mark and haechan here and then me and mark could go grab some food or something and then you tell him then? shit now im overthinking.” he laughs with you grabbing his phone to text mark and tell him whats going on. everyone knew you had a crush on haechan at this point. everyone but haechan. “okay you think this could work?” he nods. “yes i do and i really think haechan likes you back mark even said he thinks so too.” you nod quickly running into your room to get ready for the hangout. “will you tell me when they’re close??” you yell from you room. “yep!” you hear him yell back at you.

—

the two boys have now arrived waiting for you guys to let them in. you and renjun jump with excitement and nervousnesses laughing as you immediately pretend to act normal after. “okay you got this okay? don’t worry i will be here for a bit but just try to talk to him so more okay?” he says receiving a nod from you as you open the front door. “hello!!! took you guys long enough.” mark says laughing as haechan follows him inside.

“hi y/n.” haechan says smiling at you before walking fully into you and renjuns house. “hi haechan.” you smile back after shutting the door and following them into the living room. “sit by him on the couch.” renjun whispers to you before sitting next to mark.

you sit down next to haechan receiving another smile from him. “would you guys want to watch a movie?” you ask the boys looking at them. “yea that would be good but me and mark are hungry so we might go get some food for us all in a bit. if that’s alright with you guys.” you look over to see what haechan thought but he is already looking at you. “sounds good.” he smiles.

—

30 minutes later the two boys decide to go get the food. “it’s not too far give us like 20-30 ish minutes there and back.” mark says waving to you guys before getting up. “okay y/n you can do this okay? don’t fear rejection. he totally likes you girl.” he whispers to you winking at you before leaving with mark.

come on y/n you can do this right everything is gonna be fine. “hey you ok? you seem nervous or something.” haechan puts his hand on your shoulder. “yea im good! just want to talk to you about something if thats okay.” you say looking away from him slightly. “go ahead.” he smiles.

“okay i’m really scared to tell you this but renjun said its a good idea so. i like you haechan. like more than a friend. i want to be more than a friend with you..” you look away from him completely scared about what he is gonna say. he pulls your face to kiss him softly. “i like you too y/n. i have for awhile.” he smiles rubbing his thumb on your cheek. you hug him softly smiling. “let me tell renjun real fast.” you laugh grabbing your phone to text him

you- we kissed…

junnie😈- GURL WHAT???? damn do we need to stay out so you can get that d or what.

you- RENJUN NO. im not ready for that yet. plus we are hungry over here- haechan

junnie😈- OKAY WE ARE ON OUR WAY BACK!!! im so proud of u tho fr u did it<3

you smile at his text and turn back to haechan. “want to finish the movie?”

—

the two boys come back with the food. you and haechan thank them before sitting back on the couch together.

renjun is so happy for you. he knows how much you like him and how much happiness you must feel.

the two boys announce that they should get going as you and renjun agree.

“bye y/n i’ll text you okay pretty?” haechan says before kissing your cheek and waving bye to the two of you. mark waves bye to you both as well.

as soon as you leave renjun turns to you. “GIRLLLL HE IS DOWN BADDD THAT KISS ON THE CHEEK HE WANTED MORE OKAY!!” he yells taking another bite of his food they got. you are just laughing non stop. “his lips are so soft.” he laughs. “ok didn’t need to know that but don’t you think you deserve a little reward?!” he asks grabbing a bottle of wine pouring it into glasses for you two.

“oh jun i definitely deserve this.” you smile taking a quick sip. “also i wanted to say thank you. i wouldn’t of had the confidence for this if you didn’t help me and talk to me about it so thank you.” he hugs you softly. “of course y/n im always here to help.

“now we gotta find you a girlfriend or boyfriend mister!!” he laughs. “or partner hey you never know.” you correct yourself.

“your wingman skills are not nearly as good as mine come on!” he says receiving a quick glare from you. “we’ll see..” you say taking another sip of your wine laughing with him.

#renjun #nct x reader #nct #nct dream #nct dream renjun #dreamies #nct renjun #nct fluff #haechan #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct haechan

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rrxnjun · 2 years

Text

when nobody's watching ;; hrj

pairing. huang renjun x fem! reader genre. high school au/university au, cheerleader! reader | coming of age, platonic, angst, fluff warnings. alcohol and weed mention, swearing wc. 11k (10.932) a/n. no plot, just identity crisis.

playlist. idontwannabeyouanymore - billie eilish ; patterns - sarah close ; lonely - the maine ; rare - waterparks ; always forever - cults ; snow globe - waterparks ; hope ur ok - olivia rodrigo

where renjun can't seem to figure out who he is when nobody's watching and where you carefully examine and amire each version of himself he creates along the way.

When you’re 14, you watch Mean Girls for the first time. In the dark of your bedroom, with your childhood best friend Jung Sungchan huddling all your blankets to his side, your laptop illuminates the midnight with the gorgeous face of Regina George as both of you awe and giggle at the silly script. When you’re 14, watching Mean Girls for the first time, you are very aware of the fact that after summer ends and you turn 15, you’re going to high school�� and the image of having to live through the fate that met Cady, you shiver with horror. That night, you are determined to live through high school with a smile on your face. Too blinded by the dramatized image of the high school experience, you decide that you have to be one of the nice girls everyone likes, because if you’re not, you can’t imagine having to ruin someone’s life just for popularity. You don’t really strive for popularity, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that you’re simply too terrified of high school before it even starts.

When the time finally comes and you turn up to the building with a tall, lanky Sungchan by your side, you realize too soon that life is, sadly, not like Mean Girls, and while you’d love to wear pink on Wednesdays and walk around in designer clothing, your small high school in the tiny, microscopic town you’ve grown up in, is too old-fashioned to have their roles divided this way. Sure, the hierarchy is there, and the cafeteria sure does have assigned seats for all the different friend groups and extracurriculars, but it’s not as serious as the story you watched all those months ago with both terror and excitement, making you quickly realise that you don’t have to try hard to fit in with the populars, because it’s truly not that big of a deal.

And so, in the spirit of the new realization, you join the cheerleading squad. I know, it sounds ironic. All this fuss about the fact that Mean Girls wasn’t actually as realistic as you thought it was, all for you to end up with the popular girls anyway. In your defense, it wasn’t that serious. You weren’t even that good at cheer. Jung Sungchan just made you join so you could be at all his soccer matches so he could boast about his abilities the moment the match is over. Curse the boy and his athleticism.

Standing in the heat of the sun, droplets of sweat appearing on your forehead as you tug down on the short cheer skirt, you huff as the cheer captain– Ryujin, as you learned only a few minutes prior– walks around and yells at you with what you presume is supposed to be support and excitement.

“Y/N! Why are you just standing there?” she asks you, her voice genuinely concerned, but also laced with a bit of annoyance. This is the third time you’ve messed up on today’s practice, and while you don’t really mind that much, you think your teammates are close to breaking down.

“Uh…”

“You’re supposed to be all the way over here!” she reminds you, pointing to the spot next to her on the freshly mowed grass, making you smile at her with tight lips and jog over there, nodding. Of course you were supposed to be there. You knew that…

“What’s going on, Y/N? You did great yesterday,” she sighs, making you roll your eyes. Yes, you did well yesterday– that’s because the formation was still fresh in your brain and the choreography wasn’t as complex. Also, yesterday was much more casual, since it was the first practice of the year. It was spent getting to know each other and sharing snacks in the locker room. On top of that, it’s only been 24 hours and your brain adapts slowly. There’s no way you’d remember the formations you learnt yesterday, when the sun is glazing your high, slicked ponytail, making you think you’re going to overheat and fall to the ground any second.

“I just… kind of forgot the formation?” you smile innocently, making the older girl look at you with wide eyes and an ironic smile, the despair clearly written on her face.

“Don’t even try to tell me-”

“But I’ve got it now!” you say, showing her thumbs up, trying hard to calm the cheer captain down. You don’t really know what she’s like– from what you’ve seen, she’s nice, yet a little scary when she gets frustrated– but you can only imagine how she’s going to kick you out if you don’t manage to get your shit together and remember all the choreography you were taught yesterday. It’s just cheerleading, for god’s sake! You always liked gymnastics…

“Okay,” she huffs, shaking her head as she faces the front of the soccer field you’re currently training on, making you do the same as you notice the flood of your school’s soccer players get out of the gym, one of them being your dear friend Jung Sungchan, carrying the ball. “From the top! 5, 6, 7, 8!”

Your body moves almost on auto-pilot. Now, I’m saying almost– you don’t really remember the formation that well and you have to keep glancing to the girls around you to match their movements, but you seem to be in the right places at the right times, so Ryujin doesn’t really notice, which saves your ass, if you’re being totally honest. Curious of the sight in front of you, your eyes scan over the crowd of boys laughing to themselves as they kick the ball around, ready for their soccer practice.

You recognise some of the upperclassmen. Yuta is the team captain, and if your high school was like Mean Girls, he’d for sure be the Aaron Samuels of them all. He passes the ball almost gracefully to his best friend Mark Lee (you only know his name because one of the girls from the cheer is into him. He seems a little goofy, but you guess Jisu doesn’t really care), who passes it to another boy, whose name is either Jaemin or Jeno. You don’t really know which one is which, because they always go everywhere together, and when you asked Sungchan for their names the last time you saw them in the halls, he just told you it was ‘Jaemin and Jeno’, and so did everyone else you’ve ever inquired about the two. Nobody ever really specified which is which.

Making a swift turn with confidence– because this is the only part of the choreography that you actually remember– your eyes are met with Ryunjin that is now opposite of you, wearing a focused smile that only reaches her eyes when you look at her. You suppose it’s a form of encouragement, a silent praise that you didn’t fuck it up yet, and it makes you strangely comfortable. Turning back to the soccer players– because the formation requires so– your eyes continue to watch the small crowd on the other side of the field.

“Chenle, pass to me!” you hear someone yell out, making you giggle as the boy holds up a middle finger to his opponent that was trying to trick him with a childish stunt, passing to his teammate. Stepping from one foot to the other, continuing to half-focus on the task you’ve been doing, you watch the boy that’s now in charge of the ball, your eyes almost falling out of your sockets.

The boy now running around the field with the ball is fairly short compared to the rest of the team, his jet black hair flowing in the wind as he charges through the field. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him before, because you’re fairly certain you’d remember the perfect curve of his nose and the focused pout on his lips if the encounter between you two did happen, the white of his ankles captivating you in a manner you’ve never experienced in your all 15 years of life.

Yells and curses are thrown across the soccer field, the boy not really knowing what to do as he looks around in confusion. He looks like he’s just as good at the game as you would be… except with your eyes closed; so you don’t really know what he’s doing in the team. But hey, you can’t judge. Maybe he just really likes soccer and wants to learn. Everyone starts somewhere. Focused on the soccer practice, another sharp voice pierces through your ears– the owner of it being your cheer captain, Ryujin– making you halt in your movements and hide behind one of the girls in terror.

“Y/N I swear to fucking god if you mess up this formation one last time, I’m going to shave off your eyebrows in your sleep!”

There goes your daydreaming. Strange– you thought you had this part of the choreography down, you were 100% certain you were doing the right steps and that the timing was sharply correct. You must have been distracted…

“I’m sorry-”

“The practice is over for today, I genuinely don’t have the energy to deal with this anymore,” Ryujin huffs out, making the rest of the cheerleading squad take their duffel bags off the grass, scattering back inside of the school building.

“I promise to get it down before the match, Ryunjin,” you peep as you catch up to her, trying hard to regain your position as a reliable cheerleader. You were told your smile was quite captivating, something a good cheerleader should never lack, so you suppose you can’t really let that quality go to waste so soon.

“You better, or else I’m kicking you out,” she glares at you, and you can’t really tell if she’s joking or not.

Squinting at the sophomore, you hum. “Are you serious?”

“100%.”

Nodding, you clear your throat. Taking a glimpse behind your shoulder, looking at the boy that made you so distracted in your routine, you take notice of his lost expression and the aimless posture of his hands by his side. He’s almost a little too far behind the whole team, and while you don’t really know how soccer works, you really think he’s not playing the game right, but you don’t pay more attention to it as you look back at your captain with a warm smile.

“I’ll do better.”

This is your first encounter with the boy named Huang Renjun. You learn his name through your best friend Sungchan, and while you were teased for hours about the intentions of knowing it– because Sungchan is one gossiping fellow who lives for drama– you don’t back down and fulfill your plan of learning something about the boy. After stalking the soccer player on instagram for a bit, you learn that he doesn’t quite live on social media (and good for him, honestly), making you curse as the only pictures of him you find on your feed are the ones his mum posted on his birthday. He’s a baby on those and he didn’t even like the post, not paying attention to it from what you presume was pure embarrassment.

The soccer match is in two weeks, and while you’re not exactly living the plot of Mean Girls, you sit at the cheerleader table for the time being. You suppose getting closer to the rest of the girls can only serve you– you’re a 15 year old with a dream of having the wildest high school years, after all– and it’s also good to hear all the gossip about the soccer team. You finally learn which one is Jeno and which one is Jaemin, and you also learn that Huang Renjun is a freshmen like you–, and while you learn that everyone thinks that he’s insanely pretty (which makes you frown, because you selfishly wanted to be the only one), he’s also insanely quiet.

You tried to bug Sungchan into befriending him. It didn’t work– he already befriended the talkative Zhong Chenle, telling you that Renjun is too quiet to strike up a conversation. You just think he chose Chenle for his big house and the fact that he has his own basketball court he gets invited to four days a week, but you won’t say that aloud for the fear of sounding jealous of the fact that you can never tag along.

The weeks before the match finally pass and you’re at your first high school soccer game. Dressed in a skirt that just barely covers your asscheeks (you complained to Ryujin about it. She told you to deal with it– you’re exceptionally tall for your age), you twirl around with pompoms in your hands, cheering for the team you know by their names now. You quite like the feeling of having the whole school looking at you when you perform your routine in the half-time break, the formation now permanently glued inside of your brain, muscle memory trained hard now as you were watched by the stern eyes of your cheer captain the remaining cheer practices. Squealing and cheering for the team, you get so into the whole process that you feel like the main character of a movie (so glad it’s not Mean Girls), ready to watch the game when the routine is done and you can take a break on one of the bleachers.

Your eyes involuntarily follow Huang Renjun across the field. He does look a little out of place, you must admit. You wouldn’t really call him the sporty type either– his body not as chiseled and firm as his teammates, although you’d say that’s partly because he’s still growing and in puberty– but there’s something about him that makes you magnetically pulled to his presence, not being able to take your eyes off him.

So when the ball is finally in his charge and he runs around with it, looking like a lost puppy when you play fetch with it on its afternoon walk, your eyes light up, you almost even let out a happy squeal when he charges forward, the last few seconds of the match passing by as the crowd yells out a countdown. The whole thing is so intense you think you could pee yourself, if you’re being honest, and as you stand up to get ready to cheer for Huang Renjun’s goal– the one that could make your team win– the excitement dies down when the boy kicks the ball forward with no real intention, the opposing team instantly taking charge and striding towards your school’s goalie.

You may be a little obsessed with Huang Renjun, yes. But even you can admit that he messed up the match pretty badly, earning your team the first loss of the season, making the following matches end just as badly with the bitter essence of a bad start.

You’re just 15 when you first notice Huang Renjun trying to desperately fit in to a cafeteria table, the only thing that reminds you of your favorite teenage movie that you watched with Sungchan in the middle of the night. You’re just 15 when you see the first version of the boy, not knowing that the next four years spent watching him silently will be just as eventful and interesting, keeping you on your toes the whole time.

Sungchan would say you were just 15 when you first got a crush on Huang Renjun.

You’d disagree. Not because it’s not true,

just because you won’t give him the satisfaction of being right.

At 15 years old, Huang Renjun leaves the soccer team after two lost matches (which were, admittedly… both kind of his fault). Cheerleading isn’t as exciting anymore when he’s not there, but at least you get to watch Sungchan… am I right?

You’re already a sophomore when you finally share a class with Huang Renjun. You’d think this fact would help you get closer to him and learn something about the boy, but the opposite is true as your object of interest doesn’t really interact with anyone outside his circle, keeping to himself. Truth be told, you’d do anything to fit into his circle– but with the company he chose for himself in the sophomore year of high school is nothing close to what you represent, the science kids so far away from the cheerleading status you still hold.

While you’re still stuck in your Mean Girls arc, Huang Renjun switched to the Harry Potter universe, it seems. Or maybe it’s just your sudden obsession with the books that’s making you feel this way… Nonetheless, Renjun now reminds you of the Ravenclaw boys in Potions class, except this is reality and you’re only sitting in Chemistry, watching over his every move as he moves through the room and focuses on the experiments.

Sungchan nudges you with his elbow, scowling. “Stop ogling Renjun and fucking do something, I think this is going to blow up any second!”

Hissing at him, afraid his mean comment could be heard by unwanted ears, you grit your teeth at your best friend and roll your eyes. “Shut up.”

“No, I mean it, though, I think this is going to blow up-”

“I’m a cheerleader, Sungchan, I don’t know Chemistry, for fuck’s sake,” you sigh, fully commiting to the social norms you were put in. The soccer player only glares at you more after your comment, deciding to take the boiling mixture and spilling the contents of it into the sink with one swift motion of his hand, hopefully not burning the drain in the process and getting you in trouble. You never know with Chemistry. One wrong step and the whole school is on fire. On one hand, you’d love that, but on the other hand, you’d love to experience your first kiss before dying, so you really, desperately hope nothing goes wrong this time.

“Great, now we gotta start over,” you shake your head in disbelief, already taking another cauldron into your hand and putting exact measurements into the flask.

“As if the last mixture was salvageable,” Sungchan mutters, making you kick him into his shin for being annoying.

“Maybe you can befriend Huang Renjun and he can help us with the experiment,” you suggest innocently, watching your best friend melodramatically scream at your premise. This is not the first time you tried to make your friend to get to know Renjun, but it’s also not the first time he’s declining. You don’t know what’s so hard about being Renjun’s friend, you suppose he has a lot of them– from the looks of the group now standing around his small frame– Sungchan could easily sway the quiet boy with his charm and get him to your side.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I am not befriending Huang Renjun? You can do that yourself, if that’s really all you desire,” he huffs, shaking his head in disbelief.

“But-”

“No buts, for fuck’s sake,” he cuts you off, already knowing the contents of your rambling, “sometimes you gotta do the first step, if you want to cuff a man!”

“I’m old-fashioned, I’ll let you know.”

“That’s just… simply not true,” Sungchan grins, making you sigh.

“I mean, yeah,” you agree, feeling heat rising to your cheeks as you speak the next words, “I’m just shy.”

“Y/N,” Sungchan sighs as he looks you dead into your eyes, seriousness dripping off his tongue, “you’re like… the least shy person I know.”

Offended at his comment, because in this exact moment, you feel nothing but shyness when the topic of your conversation is Huang Renjun– your classmate you’ve never even talked to in the first place, but somehow grown interested in the first moment you’ve seen his face for the first time– you shake your head in disagreement. “You know that’s not true!”

“You made friends with my teammates even faster than I did! Don’t try telling me you’re shy when you were playing Call of Duty with Mark in his dorm room the first week you met him,” he rambles, making you grin at the comment. You knew he was jealous of you being friends with his older teammate– it didn’t matter that the boy was more awkward than anyone you’ve ever encountered (while also simultaneously being the most social human being on the campus, somehow. You’d say he’s so socially awkward and so social that it’s awkward at the same time.). At least you have revenge for not being invited to Zhong Chenle’s basketball court (yes, you’re still salty about that. You were decent at basketball. Well… more decent than Sungchan, at least.).

“That’s not the same, though,” you roll your eyes, making your best friend suggest something that is already known between the two of you, but never truly solidified in words.

“Because you like Renjun?”

“He seems interesting-”

“Because you have a crush on Renjun?”

“I do not!” you scream out, making the rest of the classroom look at you, resulting in you hiding behind your giant friend in shame. You only hope the rest of the conversation wasn’t heard by the whole classroom. You’d pack your things and move away to Nebraska if it was.

“I suppose the two of you are done with the experiment?” the professor inquires, making all blood leave your face as you vigorously shake your head in disapproval, apologetic smiles sent her way as you promise you’re almost done and that you’ll be quiet from now on. Truth be told, you don’t even know if you’re almost done. You don’t know how the experiment is supposed to go. You can only hope the period ends before you have to show the results.

Reading over the manual again, with Sungchan standing behind you and looking onto the white sheet of paper over your shoulder, you try hard to succeed in your assignment.

“I think I’ve got it,” he mumbles under his breath, gathering the things needed and finally getting to work, motioning for you to get closer and help him.

“You’re actually smart for a soccer player, you know,” you grin at him, the annoyed look on his face being the result of your successful teasing. Sometimes it’s fun to poke around with social norms and stereotypes– mostly because they’re kind of true.

“Just watch over the caldron and make sure it doesn’t bubble. If it does, turn the heating down, okay?” he urges you, earning himself a focused nod.

Now, the task at hand is easy. You just watch the caldron– it’s not difficult at all. But as we already established, you’re an individual that gets distracted really easily– especially when Huang Renjun is present in the same room as you, breathing the same air and looking insanely gorgeous even when he’s boredly looking at his own tools, seemingly done with the experiment with his head rested on his plopped-up hand, dissociated and uninterested. The group of boys around him– Shotaro, Jisung, Doyoung and Shohei, the proclaimed class geniuses at Science– look excited and immersed in the conversation, giggling at jokes and playfully smacking each other’s shoulders in fits of laughter when someone says something exceptionally funny. You imagine it’s Science jokes you wouldn’t get. You do fit the stereotype of a cheerleader, in a way– you’re not stupid, but you’re also not that smart in Chemistry, so you couldn’t indulge in their jokes even if you really wanted to.

Renjun looks uninterested and left-out. You feel the sudden urge to take him into your small circle, to ask him about his day and about his interests. He seems so different to the boy he was last year– while he did hang out with the soccer boys a few times after quitting the team, you didn’t really see him around. You suppose that the first impression you make on people is usually how you stay fixated in the minds of the general public, and while he used to be a soccer player for a while (two months, to be exact), he then lost the status, resulting in him being just… simply invisible for the rest of the year.

You were glad to see him with a new group of friends when you arrived in Chemistry class for the first time in your Sophomore year. While you didn’t really know how he ended up with them and what they do for fun after class, Renjun was now a part of the Science kids (this is your Mean Girls arc showing through. He does sit at the Science table in the cafeteria, though, so no one can really blame you for stereotyping.).

In this exact moment, though, he seems to be collectively excluded out of the collective. It’s frustrating– for this is the second time you’ve seen it happen to the boy– but you suppose there’s nothing you can really do or say to make it change.

“Fuck’s sake, Y/N! I told you to look after the caldron!”

“Oh shit!” you yelp out as you see the mixture boiling, the liquid inside turning black with steam, making the whole experiment fail for the second time.

Sighing, the boy only shakes his head at your distracted figure, taking the flask into his hand and once again, dropping the contents of it into the sink. Looking around the classroom, desperately trying to find something to anchor to so you can fix the situation, the bell rings and you’re left with the relief of knowing that the class is over and nobody can tell that you failed the assignment miserably.

“You’re lucky the bell rang, because this failure is completely your fault and I wouldn’t waste any time burning your skin off if we were called to show the results to the class,” Sungchan mutters, gathering his things.

“You’re not scary. I saw you shit your pants when you were eight.”

“Fuck off,” he rolls his eyes, leaving you behind to pack your things and silently ogling Huang Renjun on the other side of the classroom. The small circle of his supposed-to-be friends is now standing with the teacher, excitedly nodding as you hear them talk about a competition in Chemistry that is taking place next week. Interested in anything that includes Huang Renjun, you eavesdrop until you realize the boy was left out of the event– the four names scribbled down onto an application paper by their leader Doyoung left on the teacher’s desk, Renjun’s name nowhere to be seen.

You don’t think he did anything wrong to get left out. Looking at the neatly done experiment, you’re fairly certain he deserves to be on the list of applicants.

Looking at the group, you just think he didn’t fit in with them.

Huang Renjun leaves the classroom alone, his backpack thrown over his shoulder. After the year ends and he no longer takes Chemistry classes, you never see him with the Science kids again.

“I can’t believe you dragged me to the play just because you didn’t want to go alone,” you whisper to your best friend, staring forward at the stage. It’s almost over now, you can tell because you read the book it’s following– you were always a big Oscar Wilde fan– and you can’t help but giggle at the state of Sungchan. The poor boy isn’t used to having friends outside of the soccer player circle, and while he’s sociable, the image of showing up to the play completely alone, just because his friend Guanheng asked him to, is truly terrifying in his eyes.

“I can’t believe you only agreed when I said Renjun’s in the play,” he responds to you with a snarkier comment, making you roll your eyes at him.

“Shh,” you put your finger against your lips, subtly telling him to shut up, “I’m watching the play.”

“Sure…” he mutters, making you smile in satisfaction, for you managed to silence him and keep Huang Renjun out of the conversation.

You’re 17 now. You don’t know much more about Renjun than you did when you were 15, and you no longer share a class with him anymore, so you doubt you’ll ever really get to know him. You rarely see him, since you have no mutual friends or mutual interests, and so your silly crush started to subtly fade into the background. You must admit that you don’t look away when he passes you in halls with the group of drama kids he hangs out with now– you’re a weak, weak woman, after all– but the silent obsession with him is not your main personal trait anymore, and you can tell that both you and Sungchan are more than happy about the fact.

When the play ends and the whole cast scatters onto the stage to bow– you recognise Guanheng, Dejun, Kun, Sicheng and the director, Ten– all smiling brightly beside Renjun in the very corner, who only gives the crowd a shy grin as he bows down with the rest. Truth be told, you never expected him to get into the drama club. He always seemed quiet and reserved, but you suppose this is him experimenting with what he likes, finding the outgoing side in him and getting into more social circles.

After the lights turn back on and the school theater empties itself out, you find yourself waiting outside with Sungchan. The boy scratches the back of his neck in nerves, stressed from the sudden interaction with the drama kids. Your best friend is quite popular within the school, so you’re not really surprised that he and the charming Guanheng hit it off right away after meeting in Physics class. The sudden blush on his cheeks whenever you mention his new friend makes you strangely suspicious, though, but you won’t get deeper into it.

“Sungchan! Y/N!” you hear cheers from behind you, making you turn around and greet the cast of the play you just watched. Guanheng offers you a welcoming hug that you gladly accept, the rest of the friend group just as friendly to you as their connecting link is. Somewhere in the back of the group, you see Sicheng– the charming senior– trailing behind with Renjun. Too shy to look at him– because you still have the hint of the silly freshman on the inside– you avert your gaze off him and focus on the rest.

“We’re actually going to McDonald’s to celebrate the premiere, are you going with us?” Kun asks, a warm smile playing with his features.

“I- I mean-” you see Sungchan stuttering, shaking your head in disbelief at the hesitance he shows when he gets too much attention. Jumping in to save the boy, you quickly agree.

“We’re down!” you nod, seeing the man gratefully smile at you as you follow the drama club through the center of the town, towards the closest McDonald’s.

Throughout the whole journey, you’re painfully aware of Huang Renjun’s presence. You two haven’t even said hi to each other, and while you didn’t expect for that to happen, you still feel a little awkward to be invading his space. He’s in the back of the group with Sicheng, the two of them perhaps the closest of the whole club, and you wonder if it’s your fault for making him so distant himself from his friends right now. Did you invade his circle? Did you make him feel uncomfortable? You’ll leave, if that’s what he wants…

Arriving at the McDonald’s, you all order yourself your fast food of choice, the conversation flowing surprisingly easily after Sungchan gets accommodated to the new section of friends around him. Sliding into a big red booth in the corner of the room, you’re pressed between your best friend and Dejun, who can’t stop talking about the new Avatar movie. You almost agree to go see it with him in the cinema, from how desperate and excited he sounds, but then you’re reminded by the fact that you haven’t even seen the first part and you actually kind of hate sci-fi…

The whole time, your eyes don’t leave Renjun. Old habits die hard, you suppose, but you’re happy to see him genuinely laugh. You don’t think you’ve ever seen that on him before, and the sight of his eyes crinkled up into moon crescents and glittery stars in his dark orbsmakes your heart swell with fondness for the man. Still, though, you can’t help but notice the exclusion from the group– maybe he just doesn’t do well with crowds– as he sits in the corner of the booth with Dong Sicheng, while the rest are indulged in a shared conversation.

You don’t dare to try to include him in your conversation. Frankly, you think he isn’t interested, and it’s also not your place to organize a setting you were just tagging along to, only being invited because of Sungchan.

In the back of your mind, you think this is it. You think that Renjun’s battle of fitting in is finally over and that he found his place. He looked so familiar with the boys, so eager in the conversation with Sicheng– you’re happy he finally found his place in the world. It’s an unexpected one, to say the least, but you’re just satisfied with watching him be happy from afar.

You pay your goodbyes to the rest of the group after your meals are finished and the clock strikes 10. You’ve never been this close to Renjun before, and you don’t think you’ll ever grow closer. It’s fine with you, though. You’re always watching him– even when nobody else is, interested in knowing about his well being and the trajectory of his life. It’s strange, but it’s natural for you.

When you’re 17, you think Renjun finally found his place in the world– you think he’s finally satisfied with his table at the cafeteria, with the social status he has, with the group of friends around him; although still a little distant with most of them except for one. When you’re 17, you didn’t know you couldn’t be more wrong.

When junior year ends, Dong Sicheng graduates.

Renjun never hangs out with the drama club again.

When you finally turn 18– the birthday party with baby pink party hats and champagne all over the carpet of your teenage room– it seems like everything takes a sharp C turn. You’re a senior now, and while you got admitted to your dream university after many hours of stress and days spent filling out the applications with your best friend Sungchan late in the library, you don’t think you’re ready to leave your home yet.

It’s kind of weird that you realize the fact at a goodbye party thrown by your classmate Donghyuck. You’ve never really talked to the man before– you just shared multiple classes with him and he offered you weed outside of the gates to the building once– but there’s something about the aroma of the liquor he serves in his kitchen that makes you reminiscence about all the years you’ve spent in the cheer team or sitting at your little desk in the classroom, listening to only some of the lectures, because you didn’t really mind the rest. You also get back in your memory to the spacious cafeteria– the soccer team and the cheer team have joined their tables together after some months, and while it wasn’t like the Mean Girls, you still felt lucky to have such a big supporting system.

Your cheer captain– Ryujin– graduated one year before you, the role of the most responsible one falling onto your classmate Jiwoo not long after, since they were always friends and you all wanted to lead the team in the fierceful manner Ryujin always has. You swear you saw the ex-captain somewhere in the house a few minutes ago, though, carrying a bottle of vodka under her shoulder as she twirled her slim body around one of the guys that graduated two years ago, the one you always saw Donghyuck hanging around with in the backs of the school halls, wearing leather jackets and snickering with smug grins.

Twirling the liquid in the red solo cup around, standing alone in the corner of the living room (Sungchan left you stranded a few minutes ago, when he spotted Chenle and Guanheng in the crowd), your brain takes you back to all the memories you’ve made in the last 4 years.

You remember celebrating one of the only wins your school’s soccer team got in your freshman year with Sungchan, the tall boy carrying you on his back as he ran around the field in the lights of the reflectors. You remember blowing up the Chemistry lab with him once or twice, and you also remember the whole classroom giggling at you when you had to clean it up, accompanied by the horrified screams of your professor. The memory of the winter formal in your junior year is the most vivid in your brain– you went with your cheer friends, while Sungchan finally scored himself his first date. Her name was Lily and while you found the girl to be quite nice, the memory in your brain is so bright mainly because your dear best friend was so drunk out of nervosity of being with a girl that he puked in the school yard, leaving you to laugh your ass off until tears were streaming down your face.

Your whole four years were consistent. With the same group of people, in the same school halls and bedrooms of your friends when you had sleepovers as a cheer team building. You always had fun when new freshmen joined the team, making sure they know which Sophomore and Junior boys to be wary of, and while you’re excited for university, you don’t think you’ll get to replicate this carefree and silly presence of high school ever again.

“You okay?” you hear a voice call for you, making you snap your head up and see one of your classmates, Seunghan, staring at you with glittery eyes and a warm smile. You always perceived the boy to be quite the shy individual, but you think alcohol always helps everyone to get out of their shell.

“Yeah,” you nod, quick to make his worries fade away, “just lost in thought.”

“I get that. It’s surreal that we’re graduating, isn’t it?” he grins, shaking his head in disbelief. You didn’t expect anyone to get your feelings, but here you are– you guess you’re never as alone in your views as you think you are.

“It’s crazy…” you mumble, finishing up the cup and looking around, catching the boy staring at you constantly. Not really seeing your friend Sungchan anywhere, you decide the second best thing to do to pass time is to catch up with the boy right next to you, and so you lean closer to him and ask him if he wants to get out for some fresh air.

After seeing him nodding eagerly at your suggestion, you find yourself trailing out of Donghyuck’s house, straight to the backyard, while passing some of his friends on your way– their irises were twice as wide as a normal person’s would be and you swear you sensed the sweet, disgusting smell of weed resonating through the walls, so you were glad to get out before the essence got so deep inside of your nose and make you want to puke.

As a cheerleader, you were a regular at those parties. You’ve seen enough of Yangyang, Donghyuck, Eunsok… and Renjun getting so high and mixing the drugs with alcohol that it left them out of it for hours, and you don’t really need that for yourself right now.

“Finally,” you gasp when you reach the backyard, leaning on the wall of the house. Seunghan follows you with a cup in his hand that you’re not sure when and where he’s gotten on your way out, sipping on the alcohol as his eyes never leave your frame.

“What are your plans after graduation?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“University,” you say, letting your eyes travel through the backyard, finding multiple people sharing cigarettes and pipes in the bushes, giggling to themselves. “You?”

“Same,” he nods, “I got into the town’s uni, so I’m just gonna stay here, though.”

Humming, you take a short glimpse at him. Truth be told, you don’t know much about Hong Seunghan. All you know about him is that he’s super nice and he always greeted you when you passed each other in the halls, despite not having many shared classes or social circles. Your friend Yeri once told you that he’s got a crush on you when you got an anonymous Valentine’s day card in your locker during junior year, but you dismissed the thought quickly as you realized you’ve never really had a coherent conversation with him. Looking into his starstruck eyes right now, though, you can’t say that you wouldn’t believe it now…

“I’m moving across the state, actually,” you grin, desperate to hide your despair behind a smile. Sungchan got into a university only an hour away from yours, which is the only thing that’s keeping you going right now– while you will be so far away from home, at least you won’t be completely lonely. If you ever feel like it’s too much, you can just catch a train and meet your childhood best friend in the next town. It’s easy. Or at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.

“Why so far away?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble, taking your eyes off him again, looking through the crowd in the yard and finding a familiar figure, sitting lonely at the edge of the empty swimming pool, his legs dangling inside as he leans back, supporting his weight with his arms and looks towards the sky, “they had the best History courses, I guess…”

The conversation you’re having with Seunghan is only a background task now, a side quest in your game, as you focus on what you’ve been doing in the back of your head for the last 4 years. You monotonously reply to his questions and hum at all the right places in the dialogue to seem interested, but your eyes are focused solely on the man sitting at the swimming pool, looking more lonely than ever before. You’d make yourself feel silly for paying more attention to a man you’ve never spoken to than to the blushy classmate standing to your left right now, quietly obsessing your whole teenage years with a stranger, but for all you know, this could be the last time you’re seeing him in your life, so you let your inner little crushing-on-Huang-Renjun self have it, at least one last time.

When you turn 18, so does Huang Renjun. He finds enjoyment in all the possibilities now open to him with the new status of an adult, his Fridays spent drinking away with his new group of friends. He wears leather jackets and ripped jeans, and while you find it quite attractive, you don’t think it’s what suits him the most. Hell, even the soccer jersey looked more fit on him– and he played for the team for a total of two matches. His hair is bleached blonde and you once saw him with red, puffy eyes and a little fucked-out smile accompanied by his sketchy friends in the park, so you can only imagine what he’s been doing his whole senior year. You’re surprised he even managed to graduate.

When you turn 18, it’s when you worry most about him. He doesn’t seem himself, and quite frankly, he never has, but this is the most unpredictable and unexplainable version of himself that he managed to craft.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him genuinely laugh. And yes, you don’t know the boy, but still, you kind of miss the earlier versions of him, because at least those weren’t as self-destructive and damaging to his health.

You wonder why he’s not inside with his friends. You wonder why he’s so alone in the backyard, why he’s sitting at the empty swimming pool with a bottle of liquor next to him, why he’s not laughing at stupid jokes and dancing to bad EDM music in Lee Donghyuck’s house like the rest of his circle is. You wonder what made him hang out with the crowd for the last year, what made him let his grades slip and why he never seemed to stay with one friend group for long.

You guess it’s hard to be his friend.

Or maybe, he just finds it hard to be other people’s friend.

Changing himself up just to fit with the others, carefully crafting and molding his personality to have at least someone match his current energy– you wonder if it wouldn’t just be easier for him to be himself and let someone discover the true him for once. Because this surely isn’t him. And the soccer player, running aimlessly around the field wasn’t him. The kid that was good at science was never a good fit for the nerdy crowd either, because it wasn’t him. The drama kid that was decent at acting, but never really talked with anyone from the club other than Dong Sicheng (because even after all this time, you think that was his only real friend), wasn’t the real Huang Renjun either. And now, after the four years of admiring the mystery he is and examining him each passing day, you can for sure say that the version of himself that smokes and drinks in dark alleyways isn’t the real him at all.

After reminiscing on your four years of high school with a smile on your face, you wonder if Huang Renjun could do the same. If he smiles about the many twists and turns, or if he thinks of his high school years as a waste of his youth, a time he can only be reminded of with a bittersweet feeling, never fitting in despite trying so hard over and over again.

The boy at the swimming pool chews on the inside of his cheek, scoffing as he points his eyes towards the ground. There’s an urge inside of you to walk over to him and be a shoulder for him to cry on, be someone to finally offer him some comfort, to let him talk while you listen.

But you don’t do any of that.

You keep standing there, watching him, as Hong Seunghan talks your ears off about everything and nothing, making your confused heart simmer with despair at the broken look on Renjun’s face when he looks around for the last time before he takes the bottle standing next to him into his hand and smashes it into the pool with full force, the piercing sound of the glass shattering making your ears hurt as you jump up in surprise.

The boy stands up from his place as he storms off, your eyes meeting only for a mere second before he’s out.

“Are you okay?” Seunghan asks again, for the second time this evening already, while you look at him with a tight smile and nod your head at the question.

“Yeah. Just… got distracted.”

When you’re 18, you believe this is the last time you’ll ever see him. When you’re 18, all you do is wish him well.

Walking out of your trashy university accommodation, locking the door behind you– although you think it does nothing for the safety of your living space, considering the door is paper thin and anyone determined enough could get inside in two minutes, if they wanted to– you put the keys into your coat pocket and jog down the stairs, because you fear the old elevator ever since you heard your neighbor getting stuck inside of it one day when the power went out. Checking the time on your phone screen, you walk your way to university.

You always wanted to live somewhere far away. It’s not really about cutting people off or about starting new– Sungchan visits you every other week when he’s bored, after all– you just think you like the comfort the big city brings you. The architecture of the town is beautiful and your university’s History course is the best one in the country. You almost feel a little proud of getting in, moving out of the small hell hole your hometown was, and being competent enough to live on your own at 19, cooking yourself bad pasta for dinner every evening and posting instagram stories of the sunset with the song stickers from your playlist every other week. It’s a little surreal to live the life your younger self always dreamt of, for it doesn’t feel as strange and so brand new like you expected it to. You can’t say you don’t enjoy it, though.

Walking inside of the university building, still not used to the white modern walls and tall glass windows in the lounge area, you check the time and realize you still have at least 25 minutes until your lecture starts. Coming from a small town, you never really learned how to time your departure from home. You always arrive either very late or very early– it’s hard to calculate how long the walk is, when everything is within a 10 minute reach back home.

Deciding to spend some time in the lounge area before the class starts, because you don’t really feel like spending time in the lonely classroom and you also suspect someone’s having a class in there still, you walk towards the crowded place, adjusting the bag strap that’s sneakily slipping off your shoulder.

The view in front of you catches you off guard, the amount of students doing things to your little, anxious self (in moments like these, you wish you had Sungchan with you here. Despite being quite social in high school, it’s hard to make friends when he’s not around to be your isle of comfort; but you guess it’s time for you to be a big person and find friends on your own now), and as your eyes scan the place for an empty space to sit, your mouth drops agape in shock and surprise.

There is a boy with mousy blonde hair sitting at one of the bean bags, down in the university halls. He's surrounded by people, all typing away on their laptops, occasionally glancing up to their friends and talking in hushed smiles and cheery giggles. The boy is alone– scrolling away on his phone, earphones in his ears as the slight movement of his leg matches the beat– though, he doesn't seem lonely.

There are plenty of people around him, all with their kindred spirits, yet, the boy makes no effort in trying to fit into a circle; he doesn't try to match anyone's energy or to desperately make someone like him. In a way, the sight makes you sigh with relief.

Huang Renjun has finally stopped trying, and while this sentence usually doesn't have a nice ring to it, this time, you don't think there's anything more positive about the fact that he simply just has no energy to change himself to fit the vision of himself that is kept by others.

Taking a few deep breaths in and out, you contemplate on your next step. Is this really how you get to know your high school crush, after so many years of thinking of him? Is university really the time for your first real meeting? It makes you feel kind of silly, the tingling sensation in your fingertips making it hard for you to stay grounded as you shake your head to clear your thoughts, deciding.

Wiping your hands onto the fabric of your jeans, taking another deep breath in and out, you walk up to the boy with a hesitant smile and drop your body to the bean bag next to him, accidentally bumping into his outstretched legs. The action makes your cheeks heaten as your whole body feels hot with uncertainty, but you don't back away as he looks up to you with an uninterested look, merely just wanting to know what bumped into him and made him lose his focus and switch his attention to the world around him instead of his phone.

Clearing your throat, you force yourself to quirk up the corners of your lips into the most welcoming smile, greeting the boy you know so well, but also don't know at all.

“Hi,” you utter, seeing the boy glance at you with pure interest now, eyebrows furrowed as the gears in his brain work by themselves, trying to sort your face. When his thoughts are met with recognition, his irises widen as he works out a subtle smile, the one that reaches his eyes and makes them light up with a glittery sparkle, soft voice echoing to your ears.

“Y/N, right?”

“Yeah,” you nod, putting on an awkward smile, “from high school.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he nods, staring at you, as if to wait if you have anything else you want to say.

The encounter must feel strange to him. You've never really talked, and when you did, it was only when it was necessary. You were just a side character in his life– the one you pass in a game in a very unimportant side quest and never meet again, forgetting about it in an instant– however, to you, Huang Renjun, although he was never the center of your universe, was always there, somewhere in the back of your mind, as you looked after his every move and paid attention to every shift in his existence. To you, he was like the musician you fall in love with when you're a kid, and even though you don't listen to them anymore, you still have their account followed on instagram, keeping track of their every move, making sure they're safe and still loved by many.

Staring at you still, your throat gets dry as you have no words to say. Somehow, you always had so many things on your mind that you wanted to share with Huang Renjun, in each and every passage of his life. But now that you finally had the courage to walk up to him and talk, the words were stolen from the tip or your tongue and it's useless to try to search for them in your brain.

Maybe it's the boy recognising your hesitance, maybe it's his brain reminding him of all the times he's walked up to a new group and tried so hard to fit in with them, maybe he knows the lost look in your eyes all too well from how many times he's seen it in himself when he tried to make new friends; maybe it's the fact that he knows how stressful it is to walk up to someone and try to be their friend– nonetheless, for a reason to you unknown, he does something no one's ever done for him when he was in the position you are in right now, because, truth be told, this is the first time he's been in the position of being walked up to and interrogated with a premise of new friendship. And it's all thanks to you– so he takes the lead and warmly smiles at you, striking up a conversation.

“What's up? I didn't expect to see you here,” he says, taking his earphones out and putting them away to his pocket, turning slightly towards your figure and paying full attention to you.

Playing with your fingers in your lap, you turn your gaze away from him and master up a response. “I didn't expect to see you here either, actually,” you say.

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs, “I guess I just wanted to start over somewhere far away. It felt… a little claustrophobic back home.”

The two of you share a look full of understatement, because in his eyes, as his classmate from high school, you must have noticed at least some of the glimpses of his numerous friend groups over the time. And while none of them really worked out for him, since none of them ever really felt as if they were right for him, now, in the university halls, although a little alone and a little too ordinary, he seems like himself for the first time.

“I get that,” you nod, not wanting to dwell on the topic for too long in fear of hitting a painful spot in him or exposing that you’ve been watching him the whole time, “what do you study?”

“Art,” he says with an excited smile, the one that makes his eyes crinkle up a little and his expression is full of undenied joy and excitement, the one you’ve seen on him for the last time in junior year, talking away with Sicheng in a red McDonald’s booth– hinting that after so many years of changing himself up and trying to fit in with the rest, he's doing what he really wants and desires, with no expectations and harsh looks of others.

“That's so amazing,” you hum in amazement, offering him a genuine smile.

“It's very exciting,” he nods, glad he no longer feels like he’s been made from a broken mold, glad he no longer feels aimless and unarmed with everything he encounters, just like he did in high school in the sports teams and drama clubs, hating each passing second he’s spent doing something he despised, wasting away his life. “What about you?”

“Oh, I study History,” you reply, scratching the back of your neck, “doesn't sound as exciting as Art, to be honest, but I've wanted to study it for the longest time, so…”

“No, that's great,” he assures you, “although you don’t seem like a History kind of person,” he says, although he doesn’t know you that well– he can’t quite put a finger on when you two have met, and if you’ve ever even talked. Looking at you right now, though, he must have registered you, at least, because you seem too familiar in the foreign place and he finds himself silently holding on to the feeling of recognising at least something in the wide unknown.

Squinting, you curse the cheerleader stereotype for the first time in your life. “Is that supposed to be a diss?” you grin.

“God, no,” he shakes his head in disapproval, quickly leading you out of the misjudgement. “I just didn’t expect you to study History. I don’t know you that well, but you’re like, the furthest away from my image of a History major… but I guess my expectations can be wrong,” he defends himself, palms raised in defeat.

Humming, you still squint at him in uncertainty. “Well, I guess I get that. You seem like an Art major, though, to be honest.”

“Do I?” he asks, a tone completely different to yours– he looks grateful for the comment, his eyes shining with appreciation and maybe just a hint of pride.

To be honest, it's not really about the way he dresses that makes him seem like he’d study Art– his black high-top converse, beige pants and an oversized brown flannel could be worn by anyone– but his aura, the energy he gives off at first glance, is something that gives it away. This is the first time someone's ever affirmed Huang Renjun's identity, the real one, on top of that– the one he spent his whole life carefully crafting and creating, picking away the bad parts as he tried and failed to fit all the other categories he didn't like– and it feels truly euphoric to him, like he fulfilled his life-long goal and finally found his purpose. "Well, thank you," he says, and you can tell he means it.

You want to tell him how glad you are that he let go of trying to please everyone. You want to tell him how it's great that he finally found himself, how amazing it is that he finally let go of the desire to be liked for something he wasn't, just to be popular or have someone by his side. You want to tell him how you appreciated his existence all those years, how you watched over his every good and bad step, how proud you are of him for the journey he's taken and how amazing it is that he finally reached the final destination.

That would be weird, though– he doesn't even know that you’ve selfishly watched him all those years, tumbling and turning in the background of the mess his life had always been. So, instead, you mumble out a sweet: “You're welcome.”

By the way he looks at you, you almost think he understands your intentions. You almost believe he can read your mind and find the pictures of himself in your memories, each and every single one carefully preserved with his essence, although it was different each time and never really stayed the same.

But he can't. He can’t read your mind and he can’t tell that you know all about him, so instead, he thinks this is the universe rewarding him for being so patient, rewarding him for always trying, and that’s why he feels that he can’t let this opportunity get away from him.

“Do you want to hang out later? I have a class in 10 minutes, but I'd love to walk around and explore it here a little in the afternoon, if you're down,” he suggests, taking you off guard.

The new version of Huang Renjun that's in front of you is confident– something he always lacked, for it was never really him that he was showing to the world– and the new Huang Renjun is charming and magnetizing. You can't say you never felt like this about him before, because of course you did– you wouldn't have known so much about him and his various phases of life if you weren't interested in the boy, but the way you feel about him now feels more real– maybe because it's finally the authentic version of himself that he always was so afraid of showing to others. Electrified by his eyes, you bring yourself to nod.

“Of course I'm down,” you agree, smiling.

“Great,” he laughs airly, the sound making your smile widen even more, “I'll get your number, then?”

“Oh, sure,” you say, taking his phone out of his outstretched hand, typing the number into his contacts list. Walking up to him all those minutes ago, this wasn’t how you expected the encounter to go. You expected to say hi to him, to maybe hear him tell his major to you before he turns his back to you and walks away, never talking to you again. Instead, you get an invite, a premise of something new, a meeting that excites you and makes you feel all giddy inside, just like the first time you’ve laid your eyes on the boy in high school and decided to secretly hold your heart out to him, if he ever wanted to take it. It makes you feel like you should’ve done this long ago, like you should’ve walked up to him during high school, when you noticed him struggling, but perhaps, this is how it was always supposed to go, how you two were supposed to end up in each other’s lives and how you were always made to finally know Huang Renjun for real.

“Good,” he nods, locking eyes with you, “I have to go now, because the class is on the fifth floor and the elevator is broken, and I also don't really know my way around the building yet, but I'll definitely text you later,” he giggles.

Laughing, you shake your head in disbelief. “Of course. Good luck on not getting lost,” you say as you wave at him, his figure already standing up tall in front of you, his eyes glazing over your features for one last time.

“Thanks, I'll need it,” he tells you, “I'll see you later, then.”

“Later!” you nod, the smile never leaving your lips as you watch him leave and take a shy look at you over his shoulder for one last time before he takes the stairs up, eyes quickly drifting away when your gazes meet.

If anyone was watching you for the last few minutes, they'd think you were old friends. They'd think you were just catching up, accidentally bumping into each other and talking about the struggles of university life, bitching about the accommodation and how the professors seem uninterested in the topic of their courses. The reality is different, though, and although you and Renjun were just acquaintances meeting in a big town, miles away from the home, you can already sense that you and him were meant to have a storyline in each other's lives eventually.

This was Renjun's first time to be walked up to with a welcoming smile. It was also your first time to reach out and offer your friendship to someone. You changed your roles, in a way.

And while Renjun continues to find himself more and more each day, the true and real identity deep inside of him, he finally has someone by his side assuring him that it's enough and that he never has to change a thing about himself to be liked. No more masks and no more acting.

For the first time in his life, Huang Renjun knows who he is, even when nobody’s watching.

#nct #nct dream #renjun #nct fluff #nct angst #nct scenario #nct x reader #renjun fluff #renjun fic #renjun angst #renjun x reader #renjun scenario #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream imagine #nct dream scenario #nct dream x reader

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dhvlee · 11 months

Note

okay hear me out, yn and chenle are bsfs so they joke around a lot, until chenle realizes his feelings for yn and can't act normal around her cuz he gets easily flustered

hidden feelings, endless laughter ↠ chenle

i’m not sure if that’s what you wanted but i hope you like it anyway<3

masterlist

pairing: chenle x fem!reader

genre: fluff

warning: best friends to lovers

“i really think jo and laurie are better as platonic soulmates than as romantic soulmates so i’m kinda happy she rejected him,” you said when you and chenle finished watching little women. “and you? what do you think?”

“hate to say it but i have to agree with you. laurie and amy are better in my opinion.”

chenle invited you to his home right after his promotions for nct dream’s newest album istj for today ended. you happily agreed to it because it's been a while since you saw him and you missed your best friend.

“and what about us? do you think we’re better as platonic or romantic soulmates?”

hearing your words chenle choked on the water he was drinking. “what? y/n, what are you talking about right now?”

you laughed at his reaction as chenle looked at you confused. “chill dude, i was just kidding. there’s no reason to choke on water and die because of something like that. woah, what would i say to your boyfriends?”

“my boyfriends?” he repeated, holding his hand to his throat, which now ached a little.

“yeah,” you reached for the chips that were on the table. “your members, they’d get so mad at me if you died because of me.”

“yo chenle, focus!” mark said as chenle got the choreography steps wrong again. “you okay? even though you're here with us, it doesn't look like that.”

the truth is that for some reason chenle couldn't get your question out of his head. he kept thinking back to last night when you asked him jokingly if you two would be better as platonic or romantic soulmates.

“i’m sorry.”

“what’s on your mind?” haechan asked as he reached for his bottle of water.

“i don’t know, i’m just so confused,” he sat down, leaning against the mirror.

“why?” jisung sat next to him.

“i don’t know. i mean, i was hanging out with y/n last night and we were watching a movie and at some point she jokingly asked me if we would be better as platonic or romantic soulmates and for some reason i can’t stop thinking about it and i really don’t know why, it’s just stuck in my head.”

“oh you’re dumb,” jeno said, taking a bite of his dark chocolate.

“what? why?”

“because it’s obvious you like her but you’re too dumb to realize it,” chenle gave renjun a look as he was called stupid again. “oh don’t look at me like that. i’m hungry, let’s go eat something downstairs.”

all the boys agreed, but chenle preferred to stay in the practice room. he started to think about what renjun had told him.

he began to remember every moment he spent with you and how sometimes you made his heart beat faster. he remembered every time he'd been jealous because you and hyuck had flirted with each other for fun. he also remembered how much he loved your laugh and how sometimes he could look at the pictures you sent him for a long time. he also remembered how angry he was at your ex when he broke your heart and you cried in his arms for hours, wetting his sweatshirt with your tears.

and these thoughts made him sick.

“now, why are you avoiding me?” you said as you were standing in the dreamies living room after you asked renjun where chenle was and why he was avoiding you.

“i’m definitely not avoiding you.”

“oh, you’re not? then why are you leaving me on seen and hang up when i call you? oh and yesterday you literally ran away when you saw me in the grocery shop! so in your opinion you’re not avoiding me?”

“yeah, i’m not,” he said, nervously avoiding eye contact with you.

“you can’t even look into my eyes, you’re avoiding eye contact with me. did i do something wrong?”

“what?” he quickly looked at you. “of course you didn’t do anything wrong, why do you think so?”

“huh? why do i think so? are you actually dumb?” you asked in disbelief. literally a few seconds ago you gave him a few reasons why you have the right to think that.

“he is dumb, you’re right!” jaemin, who was sitting on the couch playing games on his phone, looked up from the screen and looked at you and chenle. “we’ve already told him twice that he is.”

“look, i’m sorry,” chenle said after he sent jaemin a death stare. “well i can tell you what’s going on but i don’t wanna do it here when jaemin is clearly listening.”

“go to my room then, i’m not leaving that comfortable couch.”

chenle rolled his eyes and got up from his chair. he grabbed your hand and quickly led you to the older boy's room, then closed the door behind him.

you sat on jaemin's bed and waited for what your best friend would say about why he had been avoiding you for the past few days.

“look,” he sighed. “i know avoiding and ignoring you wasn't a good idea, so i’m sorry. but a few days ago I realized something and I never in my life thought something like this would happen to me so I thought if I avoided you it would make everything disappear. but-” chenle sighed again and sat down next to you. “but i was wrong, nothing disappeared and i probably disappointed you and made you feel bad, so i’m really sorry.”

“okay, i still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about but i promise you that you didn’t disappoint me. yeah, i didn’t feel great when you avoided me but that’s okay. but please, tell me what you’re talking about because i’m really confused,” you looked into his eyes and saw him biting his lip. he was clearly nervous.

“i- well, do you remember when we watched little women?” you nodded so he continued. “okay so after it ended you asked me jokingly if we’d be better as platonic or romantic soulmates and i really kept thinking about it the next day and i couldn’t understand why. so i told the boys about it and they told me something. and then i remembered some things and that made me realized one thing and these thoughts really made me feel sick.”

“so, what did you realize? i’m sorry, i’m really trying to understand you but i’m confused.” you said feeling a little bad because you could see that chenle had trouble expressing his feelings at that moment.

“you don’t need to apologize. well, the thing i realized… i’m genuinely so sorry if because of that you wouldn’t want to be my friend but i also understand it. but the thing i realized was that i fell in love with you. i know that it’s stupid and i understand if you don’t feel the same so i’m so-” you silenced him with a kiss, which definitely surprised him as he didn't move for a few seconds. however, he quickly pulled himself together and returned your kiss, placing his hand on your cheek.

after a few moments, you pulled away from each other and you both laughed as you saw the blush on each other's faces.

“chenle, i also like you,” he smiled softly and this time he leaned in to kiss you.

#nct #nct dream #chenle #zhong chenle #chenle fluff #kpop fluff #nct scenario #fluff #nct x reader #smut #nct drabbles #nct scenarios

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cinnajun · 2 years

Text

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: hard to let go | hrj

summary | your high school friend group had an ambiguous and messy end, and you never got any closure for anything. two years later, and lee donghyuck’s girlfriend lives on the same floor as you, and you’re forced to face huang renjun, whose abandonment hurt you the most.

genre | huang renjun x fem!reader, haechan & reader (platonic, also incredibly negative), most intense situationship ever, non-idol! au, college!au, angst

warnings | alcohol, throwing up, haechan (and jaemin) are terrible people, victimization, villainization, toxic friendships, a bad fight between y/n and her mom is briefly depicted

wc | 4.3k

a/n: huang renjun marry me please i’m free thursday and every thursday after that i also don’t have classes on monday if you would like to hang out then.

ft. people i made up

THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT LOVE, OR COLLEGE.

You should’ve realized how much you hated school before you’d gone and put your all into college applications, but it was too late now, and you were already here. The clock was getting closer and closer to 3 am, and you had an 8 am lecture you needed to be up and prepped for.

The equations in front of you didn’t care about your 8 am lecture, though.

As you took a deep breath, resolving to take one more stab at the gibberish in front of you, the door to your dorm room flew open. You practically jumped out of your seat, your pencil flying out of your hands. A boy you’d never seen before stood behind her, gently trying to lead her into the room.

“Oh my god, Koeun,” you said, standing up from your desk chair. You had to stop for a moment, brushing off the wave of dizziness caused by your exhaustion. Then, you walked over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders and taking her away from the poor boy who’d gotten her here.

She tried to push you away, but you’d dealt with this more times than you could count; you grabbed her wrists as she tried to push you, pulling her over to her bed and practically pushing her onto it. The moment she laid down, she passed out and slumped over onto the hard, university-complimentary mattress.

“I’m so sorry for the trouble,” you said frantically, rushing back up to the boy. “I’ve got it from here, so you can go ahead and go home. Thank you so much for bringing her back.

“Uh, no problem.”

The boy looked down at you with a confused look on his face, chewing on his lip as he did so. He smelled like cigarettes and alcohol, more than Koeun did—it was impressive to meet someone who bested her in that.

“Do I know you?” he asked, furrowing his brows. “I swear, you look so familiar.”

“Sorry, but I don’t recognize you at all,” you replied, suddenly wanting him to leave a lot more than you originally did. “Have a good night.”

You slammed the door on his face, glad to be free from the smell of illegal parties. Koeun rolled over on the bed, letting out a loud snore, and all you could do was thank the lord above that you wouldn’t have to deal with her puking all over the room.

A sigh escaped your lips as you approached your desk, flopping back down onto your desk chair. What a bore this was—while Koeun went out and got drunk every night, you were here, bogged down by the pressure of your chemistry homework.

You wanted to scream and cry and jump around the room, rip your hair out strand by strand, cry until you couldn’t read the problems on the page; Koeun wanted to frolic in flower fields and go to expensive cafés to take pictures.

“You wanna know something, [First]?”

The sound of Koeun’s slurring made your previous relief vanish in the second, so you pushed yourself up from your chair, seeking out the bucket you recently bought.

“What do I want to know, Koeun?”

She giggled, grabbing the bucket from your arms and hugging it to her chest. “Kim Yeona lives on our floor.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Yup, she does. Two doors down.”

“Kim Yeona is dating Donghyuck.”

You felt yourself tense, and your knees weakened substantially. That was a name you hadn’t heard since three years ago, when you were a bright-eyed, seventeen-year-old girl who floated through life like a duck on a pond.

Yeona was a sweet girl—you could see why Donghyuck would choose her of all the people who probably threw themselves onto him. But, you couldn’t help but wonder if he had known, if he knew what dating Yeona would do to you. He’d been a main offender in the end, and you were unsure he ever got the closure he truly wanted.

“Is she?”

“Mhmm…Yeona doesn’t know about you. Nobody’s told her. Donghyuck—” Koeun hiccuped, and you cringed, hoping she wouldn’t open the floodgates. “Donghyuck hasn’t told her what he did to you. He knows Yeona would break up with him. But—get this—he said he doesn’t regret it, [First]. I heard it with my own ears, as I chugged another glass off…um…whatever I chugged, and—he was there, [First]. In the flesh. He was there. And he ignored me, too. He pretends like he never did anything wrong.”

You took a step back, mind racing and heart pounding. He said he doesn’t regret it. What a joke that was—how could he not regret it? In what world could someone be so heartless?

“Go to bed, Koeun. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She hiccuped, reaching out towards you. “Renjun—” she slurred, exhaustion lacing her voice. “Renjun should’ve chosen you.

You wished Lee Donghyuck had just killed you—pushed you out a window, thrown you out of a car, accidentally tripped you off the side of a pier—before he’d begun the campaign to destroy your existence.

“Oi, [First],” Donghyuck called, catching up to you in the hallway. The sound of students chattering and doors sliding filled your ears, nearly drowning out his calls, but you could hear them just enough to stop and turn. He half-smiled, draping a loose arm around your shoulder when he caught up to you. “D’ya got the answers to the calc homework?”

“When have I ever done the calc homework?” you snorted, hugging your books closer to your chest. Donghyuck sighed so heavily you could feel his chest expand into your shoulder, causing your heart to speed up a bit. You weren’t into Donghyuck—not in the slightest, given the situation you’d found yourself in—but he always made you a bit nervous.

You could never tell what he was thinking. You’d been friends since your first year of high school, so you’d watched him build people up just to drag them down with the same hands he’d used to build. It was scary. Sometimes, you wondered if you were next, but from the way he treated you and the way Mark insisted you weren’t, you knew that wasn’t the case.

“I wish we were friends with more people in our class. I feel stupid every time I walk in ‘cause I always gotta do the homework as she’s walking around to collect it.”

“Yeah, well, our class is stuck-up city. Bunch of rule-follower teachers' pets. Plus, Haeun hates me, so she’d never give you answers.”

“Haeun, hm,” he hummed, forcefully turning you towards the front doors of the school. “We’re skipping today, by the way.”

“What?”

“You never skip with us,” he said, so nonchalantly you could have thrown up. Your boundaries had officially been crossed; you ducked down, losing Donghyuck’s arm from your shoulders and causing him to stop and turn.

“That’s because my parents will kill me, Hyuck. Skipping class would get me grounded for weeks,” you replied, frowning. “Sometime after exams, I will, but for now…I just need to be consistent. Okay?”

“What about if I had Renjun come get you?” he asked, taking another step towards you. The presence of your classmates in the halls began to fade, with more and more people returning to their classrooms as lunch approached its end. “If I had star student Na Jaemin take you to the nurse? Or would you still turn it down?”

“I—”

“I feel like I’m losing you, [First]. We never hang out, not like we used to. We never talk. You never meet up with us after school, no matter how much we invite you. Even Koeun comes with us, but never you. Even Mark came with us last year, and he’s more stingy than you. Do you even care about us anymore?”

“Of course I care, Donghyuck. I just need to think about the future for a bit.”

“What future is there to think about if you’ll marry Huang Renjun and get a cut of Chenle’s dad’s billions?”

You looked at him, hurt building up in your heart. You didn’t want to be an extension of Renjun and Chenle; you wanted to be yourself, wholly, with a life you built by yourself. Not a life built by Chenle’s birth luck and Renjun’s family-friend status.

That didn’t overtake your pure want to be accepted by Donghyuck.

“Go get Jaemin, then.”

He smiled a devious smile, lips curling up and eyes sparkling with mischief. “Sounds good. Wait here.”

It only took a day for you to see him on campus. He was across the main quad, sitting on a picnic blanket with your neighbor, Yeona, and feeding her strawberries.

His smile was so genuine it made your heart want to shrivel up into nothing, his happiness was so real it made you want to march over and ruin it. Lee Donghyuck made you feel a lot of emotions—anger, sadness, betrayal, nostalgia—but you couldn’t pull one ahead of the others, and that was the reason you couldn’t fight back against him way back when.

Part of you hoped Koeun heard him wrong. That she mistook the does regret it for doesn’t regret it. That, if he could, he would apologize, and he would give your new number to Jaemin so he could apologize, too. “Mark got through to me,” he’d say, referencing the boy who protected you from Lee Donghyuck’s meaningless wrath until he couldn’t anymore. “I wasn’t in the right place.”

You looked away when Yeona saw you staring, rushing towards the sciences building with tears already building in your eyes. You knew you didn’t miss Donghyuck—you could never miss him, after what he did to you—and that you were missing someone close to him, but an apology from Donghyuck meant an apology from him.

An emotional one. A pleading one. A “please, let’s finish what we started” apology that could only be given to you.

It would never happen. You hoped Yeona either broke up with him or moved out soon.

You felt like your stomach was caving in on itself.

You hated skipping class; the more you pushed, the closer you got to your parents finding out. The nurse never questioned the fabricated fever on the thermometer, not when Na Jaemin was behind you, frowning and patting your shoulder. But, the more you feigned sickness, the more likely it was going to be for the nurse to call your parents and ask how you were doing at home.

They’d find out after that. Even if you used Donghyuck’s lie, which was telling her you didn’t want to get in trouble so you’d been staying at his house during the school day. Not only would you be destroyed for going to a boy’s house without permission, but you’d also be destroyed after your mom took you to the hospital and found nothing was wrong.

Nevertheless, you kept coming. Like today. You sat on a cold, large rock next to Renjun, who was smiling and laughing with the rest of the group. Koeun and you were sitting back to back as she slept, head resting on your shoulder.

Despite how people surrounded you, you still felt cold.

“I just don’t get why she thought it would be a good idea to ask me out. I mean, if she wasn’t so ugly, I’d say yes, but…” Jaemin sighed, throwing a rock at Jeno, who was also nodding off and for good reason. According to Koeun, after you left early last night to make sure your parents didn’t suspect anything of you, they’d all stayed up together until Jeno caught a shooting star on camera. You felt left out, but it was for your self-preservation, so you didn’t care too much.

Jeno jerked awake as the rock hit his knee, a loud yelp escaping his lips. “What the fuck, Jaemin? That fucking hurt, holy shit,” Jeno swore, holding his knee. Jaemin just laughed, which was followed by Donghyuck and Chenle joining in. Jeno hopped up, beginning to run towards Jaemin, who also pushed himself off the ground and began to run.

Mostly everyone followed, except for Renjun, who stayed next to you, and Koeun, who stayed asleep. Renjun looked at you, taking your mostly-alone-ness to cover your hand with his and initiate a conversation.

“Are you okay, [First]?”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” Renjun said, immediately calling you out on your bluff. Koeun shifted against you, and you could tell she was awake now, but you didn’t say anything. “You don’t like skipping—I know you don’t. You don’t have to come with us, you know. You care about school a lot more than the rest of us do, and that’s okay. We’re still your friends.”

“But Donghyuck said—”

Renjun cut you off by squeezing your hand, a lot tighter than you would’ve liked him to. “You did this with Mark, too, but Mark was nicer and less of a tyrant,” he said, turning to make sure none of the other boys were coming back. Koeun shifted again, firmly pressing her back against yours. “[First], just because Donghyuck is our quasi-leader now that Mark is in college doesn’t mean you need to follow his word like it’s sacred scripture. He does not decide how things go around here. Don’t risk your parents getting mad just to sit in a park and do nothing all day, okay?”

“Okay.”

Maybe you should’ve noticed how jealous Renjun was, and how it was already too late.

“I’d rather see you after school and on the weekends than never see you at all because your parents grounded you, [First].”

The unspeakable was going to happen at some point, no denying it, so maybe you should’ve tried to prepare for it more.

You had an empty laundry bag draped around your arm as you descended the stairs from the fifth floor of your dorms, where the laundry room was. The sound of quarters jingled in your pocket, excited for when you’d go back up to move your laundry from the washer to the dryer.

You had headphones on your head, music blasting loudly. You whistled the tune, taking the lanyard off your neck to unlock your door as you emerged into the third-floor corridor and found yourself opposite Lee Donghyuck.

His eyes widened as you skidded to a stop, almost running into him. Yeona stood behind him, purse on her shoulder, and you assumed you were running into them as they were about to leave.

How unlucky were you?

The difference between Yeona’s and Donghyuck’s facial expressions was palpable, so much so you could’ve laughed. His eyes were filled with malice, mixed with a sick sense of accomplishment; nevertheless, he looked disgusted. Yeona looked overjoyed to be seeing you.

“[First]!” Yeona exclaimed, stepping in front of Donghyuck. She drew you into a tight hug, a smile drawn on her face. “I haven’t seen you in a while! How’s Orgo treating you?”

“Miserably,” you mumbled, clearing your throat. “Not to rain on your parade, but I’ve got an online class in a few minutes…”

“Oh, before you go, let me introduce—”

“I know him,” you cut her off, ignoring how Donghyuck’s smile seemed to grow at your discomfort and Yeona’s seemed to fade. “We went to high school together.”

And you brushed past her, marching towards your room and not looking back.

“Mom, you can’t do this to me!” you screeched, lunging and just barely managing to grab your phone out of her hands. “Take away my free time, my stuffed animals, whatever you want, but you can’t take my phone.”

“Why not, huh?” she yelled back, getting in your face. “Your awful friends are who did this to you! They’re ruining my daughter, [First]! I should be able to take away your friends if they’re getting in the way of your education!”

“I will not let you isolate me again! I’ll never leave the house outside of school, hell, you can pick me up and drop me off, but I will not let you isolate me!”

“Fine! Let’s see what happens when that awful Lee Donghyuck unfriends you because you can’t destroy your future, and you have no friends at all because he’s the leader of the pack! You’re better off rotting away in your room than you are talking to him.”

Koeun sat on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest and giving you the most pitiful look she’d ever given you.

“I should’ve punched him. Gotten myself expelled. I should’ve beat the shit out of Lee Donghyuck,” she finally said. “Renjun, too.”

You frowned. “Renjun didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Since when was abandoning your almost-girlfriend the right decision, [First]? Do you remember what you told me after you snuck out with him that night? You said you could spend the entire rest of your life with him, and he left you the next day—just like that. Stop forgiving his mistakes without an apology.”

You stayed quiet, listening to the commotion in the hall. They were out there—at least three or four of them—hanging out with Yeona. You’d heard them call it a “first meeting,” meaning Yeona was new, and there was no way she’d known anything.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” you heard Yeona say, giggling as she did. There was a beat of silence, and then a chorus of loud ews and get a rooms, which you assumed meant Yeona and Donghyuck had shared a quick kiss.

“Be back soon, baby.”

Your stomach churned, and Koeun angrily got up and stomped over to where her headphones were charging. A few more beats of silence occurred as Koeun put the headphones over her ears, drowning out the noise of your ex-friends.

“Is that really [First] and Koeun’s room?”

“Watched [First] walk into it. Pathetic, right? How uncomfortable they must be knowing I’m dating their neighbor,” you heard Donghyuck say, laughing as he spoke. “If they were here right now, I’d suggest we pop in for a visit, but I doubt it. Koeun’s an alcoholic and [First] is obsessed with her books.”

“Are they popular, or something?”

“Incredibly. [First] is a campus favorite, according to Yeona—”

You shoved your airpods in your ears, pressing play on the first song you saw.

The night sky was so pretty during the winter. It was clear and cloudless, a break from the constant snow and clouds that seemed to assault Seoul.

This was, quite possibly, the first time you’d felt comfortable sneaking out. When you skipped school with Donghyuck, you always felt so unsafe, like your mom would show up and scream at you any minute. But, when you were with Renjun, you felt safer than you ever had.

“I wish it was easier to take pictures of the stars,” Renjun sighed, reaching his hand up to the sky. You both laid on a random blanket he managed to unearth from a closet in his house, out in a field near your house. You’d managed to sneak pillows out, too, making a makeshift bed on the open, grassy land. It was calm and quiet, the only noise being whatever you two decided to say.

“Maybe it’s better for it to be difficult. The night sky is best viewed in real life, you know.”

You picked up your phone, checking the time—2:03 am. You had another hour with Renjun until your dad could possibly wake up, and you didn’t want to risk getting caught because your dad decided to do his morning workout an hour early.

“I take a lot of pictures of you,” Renjun began, turning over on his side to look at you. You turned over as well, feeling your heart warm up at the proximity between you. “But you’re best viewed in real life, too.”

“How cheesy,” you giggled, staring at him. Renjun smiled back at you, shuffling closer so he could rest your forehead on yours and wrap his arms around you. It was uncomfortable to lay on his arm—you’re sure it was the same for him—but you would rather have him closer than not.

“I wish I could hang out with just you more,” Renjun sighed, his breath tickling your face. “Everyone’s so much work. You remind me of home.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“I’m honored,” you smiled, cupping his face with your hands. “I want to spend more time with you, too.”

“If only exams could come faster,” Renjun said, inching closer to you. “Then, we can spend as much time with each other as we want.”

With that, Renjun did what he had done many, many times before. He pressed a kiss to your nose, and then pulled you into a kiss. Renjun’s kisses were soft and sweet, like kissing a cloud. His chapstick was berry flavored, so you’d grown used to a slight blackberry taste mixed in with mint—it always lingered on your lips afterward.

You liked kissing Renjun. A lot.

But, as fast as it began, it ended, and he suddenly looked a lot more conflicted than he had before. With a furrowed brow and worried eyes, you asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I know we planned to stay out until 3,” he began, removing his arms from you entirely. He sat up, almost in a panic—like you’d slip through his fingers at any second. “But I don’t want you to get into more trouble. Okay? Next time, we can stay out later.”

You sat up, frowning. You should’ve rejected Donghyuck, through and through.

“Okay. We can leave. That’s okay.”

You wondered which of the boys told Renjun where you lived.

If you had to guess, it was probably Jeno. He’d always felt bad—you could tell from the way he looked at you at graduation—but never had the guts to do anything about it; maybe this was him doing something about it.

“You’ve got ten seconds before I slam the door in your face,” you said, mustering the most malicious look you could. It wouldn’t be a lie to say you never let go of Huang Renjun—he’d been your first love. He’d ruined every other date you’d gone on since because nobody would ever manage to be better than him. He was, in many ways, your everything, and with your lack of end, it always felt wrong to move on.

“Please, let’s just talk. Okay? We’re grown up now. We can talk about this rationally.”

“One good reason why?”

“Because I want closure, [First]. That’s all I want.”

It was all you wanted too.

Knowing Koeun was at a party, you stepped to the side, allowing Renjun to enter your dorm albeit hesitantly. He looked around, standing awkwardly as you returned to your seat on the bed, next to your laptop and phone.

You stared as he gently pulled your desk chair away from the desk, positioning it across from you, and sat down. Silence overtook you both, and you figured this was your only chance to have the first word.

“You left me. You didn’t even talk to me, Renjun, you just stopped picking up your phone and answering my texts. Avoided my daily route at school. Everything you could to not see me, you did.”

“You’re right, yes.”

“Not even an I’m choosing you over Donghyuck text. Nothing.”

“And I’m sorry. I was stupid and selfish. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“Oh, for sure,” you replied, narrowing your eyes. “He forced me out, Renjun. Told people petty lies to look at me in a bad way. Slowly stopped talking to me, but not before constantly shoving how boring I was down my throat all the time. Not before Jaemin told me I was the worst friend he’d ever had. And you just watched.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Renjun finally snapped, his voice nearly cracking. “I didn’t know what to do; I asked Mark for help, but he never responded, and I—I felt so alone. Jeno didn’t know what to do either. Donghyuck was a tyrant, but he’s not anymore. Mark beat his ass when he found out.”

“Seems like you’re still friends, though, and they still have it in them to talk shit about me. What’s your point?”

“What? I didn't know they—that’s beside the point. What I’m saying is…can we just end things here and now? Forget about each other after I say this? I just want to move on.”

“Meaning you want to get rid of your guilt, yes.”

“Whatever you want to call it, I’ll agree. I don’t care. I just want you to know that I really, truly was in love with you, [First],” Renjun said, clenching his fists. “Once upon a time, you were my entire world. My whole life revolved around you, and when Donghyuck led you into that trap—I felt like I’d been lured, too. Every day without seeing you was painful, and I thought things would get better if I tried to forget as Donghyuck phased you out. I never forgot, and things only got harder. I was wrong.”

“So you were.”

“I don’t expect anything from you,” Renjun continued, sighing. “Nothing at all. I just needed you to know it was never fake. I was never fake. The only time I’ve truly understood what it was like to love someone was when I was with you. I’d move mountains for you—I still would. Even now.”

You would never say it, but you would too.

“That doesn’t change what happened. So, thanks for letting me know, but never come back here. And let Donghyuck know I’ll spill everything to Yeona if he ever comes back here.”

Renjun stood, understanding you were essentially telling him to get out. “I will.”

“Thanks.” You stood too, approaching the door and opening it. “I’ll see you, maybe.”

“I’ll see you too.”

Renjun stepped out of your room, hesitating as you kept your door open. And, with a surge of idiocy and confidence mixed into some sort of mystery potion, you spoke.

“By the way,” you paused, sucking in a deep breath. “I loved you too.”

thank you for reading!

#cinna.nct #nct dream x reader #nct dream angst #nct dream scenarios #nct dream headcanons #renjun x reader #huang renjun x reader #renjun angst #renjun scenarios #renjun imagines #renjun x you #renjun x y/n #nct x reader

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anothershorthuman · 10 months

Text

Stay Alive Pt. 7

pairings: nct dream x platonic!reader, afab!reader (you wear a skirt, but they/them pronouns are used), ??? x reader x ???

genre: zombie apocalypse au, high school au, angst, fluff, humor, not really horror but it's zombies ya'know

word count: 6.25k

series warnings: blood, injuries & fighting, suicide, character death, swearing, again... zombies.

chpt warnings: sexual assault, swearing, grief, dead parents, mentions sex and periods, guns and violence

summary: nobody was ready for a zombie apocalypse. you were definitely not ready for a zombie apocalypse. while contemplating just giving up and accepting your fate, you meet a group of boys. life may seem pointless now, but at the very least, you now have a reason to stay alive.

previous: masterlist: next

…

Your shift with Jaemin ends when the sun rises; he wakes you up first before waking the other boys by banging two pots together. They complain at the idea of getting up while the sun is still rising but comply once Jaemin promises them breakfast before they go back to walking.

The boy's eagerness to eat is overwhelming for you, so you stand near the doorway to the kitchen, watching all of them stuff their faces with bacon and eggs as if they hadn’t eaten for days. You're watching Chenle and Jisung fight over a piece of bacon, eyebrows scrunching in disgust, when you feel someone nudging you with their elbow. You nod at Jeno in acknowledgement but say nothing as he hands you a plate with breakfast.

“You should eat.” You nod in what Jeno assumes is appreciation, before he walks away. He watches from afar as you ignore the utensils he left you and eat the scrambled eggs with your hand. His eyes smile when he sees you immediately go for a second bite.

…

The seven of you walked in silence for maybe 20 minutes before Haechan had started complaining about how bored he was. You’re a little surprised when he decides to focus on annoying you rather than any of the boys. He had been trying to hold your hand for a while now, but you were slapping it away. Eventually he gives up on holding your hand but hooks his arm with yours, and is pleased when you don’t shove him away. Despite your weariness, the physical affection isn’t awful, and it reminds you of Jungwoo a little.

“There’s the corner store!” Haechan exclaims before running over, pulling you with him.

Haechans fast pace doesn’t give you enough time to look at your surroundings and Haechan is too excited with the idea of seeing his family that he doesn’t notice the worried glances between Mark, Jeno, and Renjun.

You want to scold Haechan after you stumble into the store but become speechless after finally getting a good look at the inside of the store. The products of the store were completely scattered, on the floor and on the counter. The glass from the door and the freezers was shattered, with drinks and food scattered on the floor. The cash register was broken, as was the stool that was typically behind it.

Haechan disconnects from you and begins to wander the store. He calls out for his mom, and then his sister, not being able to control the growing waver in his voice.

You too are wandering the store when the rest of the boys finally enter the store. Walking past an aisle, you freeze. There’s a puddle of blood coming from behind a door, presumably a break room for the workers. You peak your head over an aisle, checking where the boys are. Haechan is the closest, but Renjun and Chenle are quickly approaching him and you hope they’ll keep him away from the blood, at least until you can figure out who it belongs to. You glance at Jeno and Mark who are standing by the cash register and consider grabbing one of them just in case things go wrong.

You step around the blood and reach with a shaking hand to grip the door handle. The sounds of the boys around you fade for a second as you gather your courage to open the door. You whip it open with a surprising amount of strength and scramble to catch it before it hits the wall, not wanting to alert the others of what you're doing. Once you are confident the door won't give you away, you take a look around the room. If not for the stream of blood leading to the back of the room, behind another tall shelf, you might have been pleased to see there was more supplies that would be useful for your group, like toilet paper and hand sanitizer. But alas, the sight of that much blood would spook anyone.

Peering around the corner of the bookshelf, you take a few deep breaths only to gag when you realize that you're standing in a pungent stench. There's a body behind the bookshelf. You cover your nose and mouth with your hand. The body is face down, but it’s a middle aged woman with long black hair. You had been preparing to see a dead body, it was inevitable given the circumstances, but the possibility of your first being someone Haechan might know, might be his mother, makes this moment a lot harder to cope with than you anticipated. You look around the room, looking for something to cover the body with. You use an abandoned sweater before quickly leaving the room.

All of the boys are gathered around the door, seemingly processing the same shock you felt when you first spotted the blood. You can’t help but to look into Haechans watery eyes, even though he instantly looks away from you.

“There’s a body in there,” you say, “a woman, not sure what happened, not sure I want to find out.”

Nobody replies for a second, knowing that there is a possibility of it being Haechans mother.

“I can check.” Renjun offers.

Haechan shakes his head strongly, “If it’s my mom then it should be me.”

“They’re faced down, so we would need to flip them over first.”

Jeno steps forward with Haechan and reassures him that he’ll help him with that much. You watch as the two go inside and stand quietly with the rest. The six of you hear Jeno count them down to presumably flip the body over. And then you hear Haechan start to wail.

Deciding to give him some space, you start to walk toward the entrance of the store, the rest of the boys following. It’s only until you all settle outside that you realize some of the other boys are crying too. Renjun has tears quietly streaming down his face and Jisung is straight up crying.

Jaemin tells you about how all of the sophomores would meet up at Haechans house to play games together. They would often stay for dinner, his mom made the best kimchi. She was kind, going to Jeno’s games when his parents were busy or gifting Renjun paint or packing an extra lunch for Haechan to give to Jaemin when she found out he would never eat at school.

And then he tells you that Jisung was just an empath, he had never met her.

While you had never met the woman or felt particularly close to your own mother, feeling helpless was not a foreign concept for you and you can’t help but pity Haechan. You sit outside for maybe 20 minutes before Mark is standing up and dusting off his pants. He says you should leave soon and that he was going to go get Haechan and Jeno. The three of them walk out and you all start to walk away without a destination in mind.

…

You didn’t mind walking aimlessly, but due to the literal zombie apocalypse, you think that it probably wouldn’t be wise to wander around for the entire day. Your entire group is clearly not in the right headspace. Anytime you hear a noise that could be other people or a zombie, they get spooked and switch directions. You had yet to run into other people.

You had been walking for an hour before Jisung started whining about wanting to take a break. Jaemin suggests breaking into another house but Renjun disagrees, saying that it feels oddly intimate being in a stranger's house without them in it. Mark offers his house, but quickly backtracks when he realizes that he has no idea how to get there, they are lost.

This of course causes all of them to focus on what's happening, trying to identify where they are. Chenle is trying to retrace their steps when you speak up, “I, uh, I think I know where we are.”

Their necks snap in your direction and they swarm you. And suddenly they’re bombarding you with questions. Their faces feel too close, you can feel their hot breaths on your skin and the way it makes the hair on your arms stand.

“I live near here!” You blurt out. Your sudden outburst has them backing away. “It’s a really small place, but we’re tired and there’s food there. We can spend the night there and figure out our next move.”

…

Jisung still has no idea where they are. He lived on the other side of school and even looking at the map on his phone, he didn’t really know how to get anywhere. So, he really was relieved when you said you recognized the area.

Part of him is confused, this is a pretty run down part of town, even before the apocalypse, he can recall his parents telling him to avoid this area. You lead them down a steep street and he finally seems to notice how eerily quiet everything is. All he can hear is the huffing coming from the boys breathing and their shoes scraping against the concrete.

They enter an apartment complex with flickering lights at its entrance. Jisung finds himself instinctively shuffling closer to Chenle as they go up three flights of stairs. The hallway smells of smoke and the yellowish tint of the walls prove that smokers lived here. He wonders if you smoke.

You open the door and he peeks over everybody's heads into the apartment. It's a studio, with a lofted bed and the eight of you struggle to fit into the… living room? Kitchen? Whatever you called it. Mark, Renjun, and Chenle squish themselves onto the couch and Jisung finds himself standing awkwardly next to them.

You scratch your neck uncomfortably, “It’s usually just me in here, so I forget how small it is. Sorry. We can look for someplace else if you guys want.”

Jisung watches Haechan walk in, make a beeline for the ladder that leads him up to your bed before promptly face planting on it.

Jaemin is the only one still standing near the entrance with you and Jisung can't help but be annoyed by him, leaning over you, a hand placed on the wall next to you.

“I like your place.” He says, “small, but cozy.”

You snort in amusement. When did you two get so friendly? Jisung thinks to himself.

…

“So, this is where you live?” Jungwoo looks around the small studio apartment. You can’t help but feel a bit self conscious and you cave into yourself, your arms crossing and shoulders hunched a little.

“Uh, no! Not like that,” Jungwoo tries to reassure you, “I guess part of me didn’t believe it when you said you lived by yourself.” He plops down on the small couch (which takes up a majority of the apartment.

“It’s okay.” You say. “...you're the first person I've brought over.”

“Really?”

You nod.

Jungwoo opens his backpack and starts going through his stuff. He pulls out a white polaroid camera and pulls you over by your sleeve so that you’re sitting next to each other. “We should take a photo then! This is a pretty big deal.”

He snaps the picture of you two and shakes it so that it’ll develop faster. He grins as he looks at the picture before handing it to you.

“Thanks for letting me come over.”

“It’s not like the place is impressive or anything”

“It doesn’t have to be impressive. I’m just glad you were comfortable enough hanging out outside of school.”

“...Yea, I am kind of sick of you.” You snicker as he lets out a gasp and hits you. “That was rude!” You say.

“That’s it, I'm leaving.”

…

You peer up into Jaemin’s eyes as he continues to loom over you. He’s still talking, but you stopped paying attention to him a while ago. You’re not sure if he hasn’t realized that you're not listening or if he just doesn’t care. Your eyes flicker around the room, up to Haechan, who is now sleeping in your bed.

Jaemin follows your gaze, “Don’t worry about him.”

Your eyes snap back to him, a bit dumbfounded, “What?”

“I mean don’t worry about him too much.”

“How can I not?” you ask him pointedly, “His mom died, Jaemin”

He moves so that he’s leaning against the wall next to you rather than standing in front of you.

“I think we all know that anyone could die in a zombie apocalypse.”

You sigh, “I know, but this makes it feel more real, ya’know? How am I suddenly the sympathetic one? Aren’t you guys friends?”

Jaemin picks at the skin around his fingernails. His movement makes you uncomfortable but you can’t bring yourself to stop him. “Of course I am. But I know Haechan, he doesn’t like being coddled, even though he could probably use the support right now. He doesn’t want it from me.”

“And I thought you were the bad boy.”

He shakes his head, “I might have the image, but he definitely has the emotional constipation that goes with it.”

You're silent for a little while before he leaves to join the guys. You sit on the floor, a little further from the group but close enough to listen to their antics. You catch Jisung and Renjun glancing at you every once in a while, but they don't ask you to come closer and you don’t bother to move.

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, being in your apartment makes it easy to ignore how the world is ending outside. Except for Haechan, of course, who has not left the comfort of your bed.

You make them some ramen and you all watch cartoon reruns on your shitty tv, changing the channel everytime some sort of news starts. You watch them grow tired and fall asleep, one by one. Eventually, you get up from your spot on the floor and climb the ladder up to your bed.

Haechan shifts when you settle next to him. The bed is big enough that you aren’t pressed against each other, but if one of you were to roll over you’d end up laying on top of the other person.

Jaemin might know Haechan well enough to leave him alone for a while, but you don’t. Hesitantly, you lift your hand and place it on his arm. You can feel him tense under your touch and you retract your hand, worried that Jaemin had been right and you shouldn’t have overstepped. You even think about leaving the bed so that he can continue to have a little bit of privacy, but he’s turning around to face you. His movement is slow and calculated, you can tell that he’s trying to not crush you. When he stops moving, the first thing you notice are his eyes. You might not have known this boy for very long, but the warmth and liveliness that was in them when you first met was gone, now bloodshot and sunken from all the crying he’s been doing. The darkness of the room makes the contours of his face look darker and he resembles the characters of a Tim Burton movie.

Haechan is avoiding your gaze and you wait for him to say something. When he does, it’s in a whisper, “Will you hold me?”

You nod at him and slip an arm under his head. He shoved his face into the crook between your neck and shoulder. You don’t say anything when you feel his tears hit your skin and you don't say anything when he tightens his grip around you.

Haechans breath eventually evens out and you realize that he’s asleep. You aren't used to having anyone pressed up against you, and despite the way you squirm, it isn’t uncomfortable. You’re about to fall asleep when you hear someone climbing up the ladder. You quickly close your eyes and pretend to be asleep until the person goes down the steps. You peek an eye open just to see the top of Jeno’s head disappear. Was he just checking in on Haechan? You think about possibly asking him, but you’re much too tired to even try to get up.

It’s the best night's sleep you’ve gotten in months.

…

Everyone is surprised when Haechan is the one suggesting you all get moving the next morning, but no one fights him on this. Instead, they pack their bags before deciding to walk further north. Renjun had woken up early and watched the news without any sound while everyone else was still asleep. Apparently, there were some camps set up across the country in order to help people, maybe some of their families ended up there.

Nobody says anything when Haechan holds your hand when you start walking. You can tell that they’re surprised that you’re letting him, except for Jaemin, who sends you an annoying wink when your gaze meets.

Despite being the one to suggest leaving your apartment, Haechan is barely trailing after you. At times, it feels like you’re dragging him behind you. Yet, he never complains about the continuous walking or comment on the looks he receives when he wipes tears from his eyes.

You spend several hours walking. At one point, you came across a couple of bikes and rode them (two to a bike) until one of the tires popped, leaving Chenle with a nasty scrape on his knee after Jisung landed on top of him. You ditched the bikes after that. All the phones you guys had ran out of battery and you spent the night in an abandoned building.

Without your phones, the eight of you were truly lost. Time and distance feel insignificant even when zombies appear. Your group had developed a routine, with Jeno, Mark, and Jaemin as the first lines of defense, all swinging bats at any zombie that got too close. With no other weapons, you are the second line of defense, clutching the knife that Mark returned to you. Looking back, you were stupid not to take more knives from your apartment, but everyone was too frazzled to think about potentially fighting zombies.

Rarely do zombies get past the boys with bats, but there have been a few close calls when Haechan just doesn’t react to a zombie lunging at him and you end up shoving him out of the way. Jisungs instinct is always to run away and sometimes that means leaving the rest of you behind. Chenle will chase after him if he sees him run away, but once, when his knee injury was recent, his knee gave out trying to run and Jisung had gotten lost. Yelling would only attract more zombies, so you ended up going in circles in the area for maybe an hour, looking for him. You find him hiding behind a car, having a panic attack.

After four days of walking, Mark and Renjun are talking about finding a place to shower in. You’re currently taking a break from walking, all of the boys are munching on protein bars and you’re taking a nap, head on Haechans lap.

He isn’t talking much, but the two of you have become a clingy duo. Mark thought that you were just tolerating Haechan because you felt bad for him, but now, it seems like you reach out for him just as much as he reaches for you. Some of the other boys have taken it as a sign to be more comfortable with you too. Jaemin will often have an arm over your shoulder if you’re sitting next to each other. There's a look of longing in your eyes when you look at him that Mark just can’t figure out where it’s coming from, but he’s not that surprised that you like Jaemin, if anyone at all. Chenle and you have a habit of teasing Jisung, often about girls and his lack of knowledge about them.

The only one of the boys that still keeps his distance from you is Jeno. Mark hasn’t seen Jeno be so cold to anyone before. Sure, your first time meeting the boys was pretty rocky, but Jeno is supposed to be the nice one of the second years. Regardless, he keeps his distance and deals with you since the rest of the boys seem to like you.

When he asks Jeno why he hasn’t grown to like you, Jeno only shrugs and says, “they’re your guys’ friend, not mine.”

“They let us into their apartment and they take care of Haechan.”

“I don’t have to like everyone, Mark.”

Except Mark knows that that's bullshit and Jeno does like everyone… or at least everyone that the boys are friends with. There has to be something else, and Mark swears he’ll get to the bottom of it.

…

A day later, the eight of you stood on the side of a street. This street was elevated and overlooked a good part of the city. If you looked closely enough, you could see a zombie or two wandering. It turns out that zombies are mostly solitary beings, you don’t usually run into more than three of them at a time unless a loud noise attracts them. The view would be a lot nicer if you had seen it at sunset and Renjun suggests staying there until you get to see it. He found some color pencils in the house you all showered in the day before and took them with him. He had been sketching and drawing the entire day. Nobody disagrees with his idea to sit there for a while and let him draw.

The sun is only starting to set and he pulls out his warmer colored pencils. He notices a dark spot of red that he tries to smudge, but it doesn’t budge.

“What the-” he mutters, gaining the attention of Jeno, who is sat beside him. The dot seems to be a light, similar to one of those cat laser pointers. The two boys follow where it comes from, just down the road.

Jeno, quicker than Renjun at realizing what it is, yells “Fuck!” and throws himself at Renjun, getting them both out of the way quick enough before a bullet is now where Renjun was sitting.

The noise makes all of you jump, and for Jisung and Chenle to wake up. Jisungs flight instinct kicks in and he moves to get up, although a bit sluggish compared to his usual reflexes.

“No!” Jeno yells, flinging himself to grab onto Jisungs ankle to keep him from running directly into open fire. Jisung falls on his face instead.

Everyone is quiet for a second, trying to process that the first group of humans you’ll have to interact with since the apocalypse started just shot at you. Next thing you know, you're being swarmed.

Their lights are blinding and you all squint. You're all being yelled at to lay face down on the floor and you do. You're outnumbered, not that it matters considering they're all holding M4’s to all of your heads. The soldiers surrounding you haven’t stopped yelling and the whole situation makes you dizzy, your hands won’t stop shaking.

From your spot on the ground, it’s hard to see the boys. There seems to be a soldier standing next to each of you, except for Jeno, who’s got three of them standing next to him, but that’s about as much as you can figure out by looking at a bunch of shoes. They’re spilling the contents from your backpacks on the floor and one of them confiscates the knife that you had left on the floor next to you.

You yell out in alarm when the soldier next to you presses their knee to your back and pulls your arms behind you. The boys protest at your distress but shut up when Mark gets kicked in the gut. Your hands are tied behind your back with a zip tie and you think about how it might break open your skin with how tight the zip tie is.

“This one had a knife,” he announced to the rest of the soldiers. The soldier that you assume is in charge is eying the bats that are sitting a little further from you guys, covered in blood and dirt. He yells at the soldiers to sit us all up.

“I am Sergeant Park. Congratulations on having survived this long,” he gestures to the bats, “I see you have found ways to stay alive. Now, you will all be taken to a survivors camp close to this location. Cooperate, and we will get you there in no time.” He turns to a soldier, “Search them, start with their fighter and end with the one with the knife.”

The soldiers surrounding Jeno drag him into a standing position, his hands are also tied with zip ties. There's a soldier holding onto each of his arms and he is roughly patted down. The rest of the boys' pat downs go by smoothly for the most part. Jisung flinches everytime the soldier places their hands on him and the soldier seems to have fun with this. Mark doubles over in pain when the soldier puts pressure on his abdomen where he was kicked.

Finally, you’re stood up and are getting patted down. There's a man behind you, holding your arms despite you already being restrained. You try your best to keep still and not say anything, even when the soldier unnecessarily squeezes your breasts. The soldier smiles sleazily at you and watches your face for discomfort as he moves on to your next breast. You don’t protest until his hands go more south, lifting up your skirt. You cross your legs in defense and try to move away only to cry out at the way that the soldier holding your arms twists them and the ziptie cuts open the skin on your wrist.

“Get the fuck off them, man” you hear Jaemin protest. The soldier only laughs at him, “Little darling had a knife, kid. Gotta make sure they aren’t hiding anything else on them.”

Jeno struggles in their hold as well but is kicked onto his knees.

Jaemin’s frustration only grows, “I said get the fuck off of them!” He’s able to shove off the soldier that was only loosely holding him and punch the soldier that had touched you before he’s jumped by another two soldiers and put on his back and also ziptied. They kick him a couple of times before you protest, “Okay! Finish your pat down or whatever. Just leave him alone.”

The soldier smiles smugly at Jaemin before standing in front of you again. You can’t help trying to squirm away when he lifts up your skirt again and you look away from the shitty man in front of you.

Later, when you get to talk about this moment, Chenle tells you that all of the boys looked away. It had been a traumatizing moment for you and perhaps selfishly, the boys didn’t want to watch that.

The soldier grabs your crotch tightly and he leans in close to you before whispering, “See, it isn’t so bad.” He leaves after that.

The boys are allowed to stand up. Renjun helps Mark up. Jeno and Jaemin are being held by soldiers. Jaemin is visibly the most banged up by the encounter, but he holds himself well after having been in many fights.

A truck driven by more soldiers approaches and the soldiers holding all of you push you in their direction. One of them orders Jisung to pick up your bats and he scrambles to do so. Renjun returns all of your dumped items into the backpack, only for it to be snatched from him. When the truck stops in front of you, the soldiers shove the boys on first before climbing in themselves. With no space left for you to sit, one of the soldiers beckons for you to sit on their lap. You don’t protest.

The truck continues to go down the road, silently. It’s night now, so you can hear crickets and the crunching of the tire. Your group becomes alarmed when the truck takes a sudden turn, you would have fallen off the truck if not for the soldier's stiff grip. You’re now being driven away from the city, down a dirt path. The road is bumpy and you're sure the soldier under you is sporting a boner. You try to focus on controlling your breathing, closing your eyes so you can ignore the burning gaze of everyone on the truck. A hand falls on your thigh, radiating warmth as it presses against your skin. For a moment, you think you’re going to throw up. You feel a kick at your shoe and you open your eyes to see Chenle across from you. He smiles and winks at you and you can’t help but chuckle at his stupidity.

The truck abruptly stops and the eight of you are pulled out of the truck and ushered into the camp. A clearing has been made for the camp, that much is clear with how its in the middle of the forest, with trees surrounding it in every direction except for the small dirt road you came in from. The camp is surrounded by two sets of tall wired gates. From what you can see, there is only one entrance and it is heavily guarded, even if there are military personnel throughout the entire perimeter.You pass through the first gate quickly after the sergeant gives the order to let you in, but the second gate is a bit trickier. There's a table with two medical professionals, fully covered head to toe. Here, they do simple check-ups on each of you, using lights to look into your eyes, ears, and mouth. Chenle gets his scraped knee disinfected and bandaged, but when they hand you all identification cards with your names on them, his comes with an extra symbol. From here, there are three entrances to the camp, a small gate opening behind the table where military and medical staff come in and out of, and two identical buildings on either side of the building. You are informed that the one on the right is for men and the one on the left is for women. Soon, you’re being pulled away from the boys, you follow the staff without much of a fight when you see the soldiers watching you intently. Once inside, you give the staff the card they hand just given you as you are led down the hall and into an office.

You look around, trying to discern what sort of place this is. There are no windows and the walls are made of concrete. You can’t help feeling like you’re in jail. Despite this, the office is decently sized and well decorated, with a fancy looking desk and pc. You are directed to sit down and wait for the doctor before the staff closes the door. You sit in silence for a moment, listening to their footsteps fade away before you are out of your seat and trying to open the door; it’s locked. Defeated, you make your way back to your seat and look around the office. There's a plaque that reads Dr. Kang. You wonder if the boys are going through the same thing, locked into an office with an unpresent doctor. Your thoughts are interrupted when the door swings open and a woman walks in. She is young, maybe in her early thirties, with long dark hair and sharp eyes. She is wearing a sleek navy suit that accentuates the length of her legs. Her appearance would lead you to believe that nothing out of the ordinary was occurring and you can’t help but wonder how she has managed to find the time to keep her manicure looking nice.

She doesn’t say anything when she walks in or sits down on the other side of the desk from you. Her eyes flicker to you for a second before returning to her computer screen, not wasting a second in acknowledging her. Still, you keep your eyes on her, not wanting her to think that she has the upperhand in making you uncomfortable. A couple of minutes go by of her clicking on her mouse and keyboard and you staring at her. Finally she seems to stop and look up to you. A smile graces her features and she makes eye contact with you, “I am Dr. Kang, nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

Her smile makes you uncomfortable rather than feeling reassured and you decide at this moment not to trust her. “I’m sure you already know that. I arrived here with seven boys, when will I be able to see them?”

She laughs at this, “I do know your name, but it is respectful to introduce yourself when meeting someone new. Nonetheless, I can see those boys mean a great deal to you, so let's try to do this quickly and get you back to them.” She watches you with the same cold smile until you nod in agreement. She asks you questions about your family, if you've contacted them and the sorts. You give her vague answers which she types quickly into her files. The questionnaire is quite boring, similar to what your physician may ask you at your yearly check up. She asks you about where you were when the outbreak happened and if you had lost anyone, if you were with the boys when it happened. You think about lying, telling her that yes, you had been with the boys the entire time, they had been your school friends that were together when misfortune struck, but you worry about being caught lying. Would it even matter? Still, you keep most of the truth to yourself, skipping over the part with Jungwoo and tell her that you met up with the boys a couple of days after the outbreak first happened. You hope they say the same thing.

“When was your last period? Are you sexually active?” You know what she’s insinuating, of course. Her smug smile makes the question more telling as well. Although, you're not sure what reason she would have to feel smugly about knowing that you’re potentially having sex with one or multiple of the boys you were found with.

Still you smile at her rather sarcastically, “Celibate, actually.” Your smile grows when you see her fake smile falter slightly.

“And your period?”

“Haven’t gotten it in a couple months.”

She hums, “Well, if you're sure you're not pregnant, then you were probably under a lot of stress, or something else could be potentially wrong. We’ll check in with you about that occasionally.”

You give her a curt nod. She types away at her computer for a while longer. She talks to you without lifting her gaze from her screen, “We’re done here. You’ll be getting your blood tested to make sure there aren’t any mutations in your DNA or are in the middle of turning.”

You’re taken from that room into another with medical equipment. A younger nurse approaches you and explains how she’s going to draw some blood from your arm. Her attitude is just as unsettling as Dr. Kang’s due to how preppy she is, but it seems more authentic and you haven’t decided if that's more or less concerning.

You flinch when the needle is inserted into your arm and she makes a comment about not liking needles. You watch her flip through a file that you assume belongs to you. There's a page that she spends significantly longer looking through and you can’t help but wonder what is written on it.

“You arrived here with other people?” You nod.

“Are you all close?”

“We’re friends. Does it matter?”

She laughs at your stiffness, “Just trying to make conversation. Usually the women's evaluation process takes longer than the men’s, so they’re probably about done, they could be entering the camp now.”

You can imagine them looking for you, walking through all of the bunk beds filled with people. Chenle and Jaemin might even be yelling for you, with Jisung following behind them, covering his face in embarrassment. She takes your fingerprint and a strand of your hair while tests are being run on your blood. You want to ask her why they need them but refrain from asking questions you know you won’t be given answers to. The machine she’s standing by dings when your tests are done and she scrolls through them. Her smile seems to die and is replaced by a frown.

Your worry grows as she walks toward you and you sit up. She stops you with a hand on your shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, watching her pull open a drawer next to you.

“I hope those boys care about you” she says before sticking a needle into your chest.

You want to scream but realize you don’t have the energy to. You try lifting your hand to remove the syringe but your arm flops over before you can get a proper grip on it. The nurse is laying you down as you struggle to keep your eyes open.

What– what did she do to me?

You’re unconscious before you can come up with an answer.

...

tagging! @staysstrays, @caspervoid, @alyselenai, @lethephin, @leechipp, @kodzukena, @kikookii, @rkiveruinz, @shley-chan, @butterfliesinthenightsky, @olxviaaaa

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a/n: hi! sorry for being gone for so long. I can't promise consistency, but I had a lot of fun working on this chapter and already have a decent part of the next one written. This chapter is pretty long too! Enjoy :3

#nct dream x reader #nct dream x platonic!reader #mark x reader #renjun x reader #jeno x reader #jaemin x reader #haechan x reader #chenle x reader #jisung x reader #stay alive

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