#please don't block me i still think the win was legitimate

[dear-ao3]

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[halexander420]

Ok cmere. Who did voter fraud. 2.5k in that poll is not a reasonable amount of votes.

[gmanwhore]

For some reason I'm thinking about my stupid mostly obsure Dr. Who blorbos so here we go: Six Guardians incorrect quotes. - White Guardian: Is it still visible? Where Rassilon slapped me? Dream Lord: Your face looks like a don't walk signal. Papal Mainframe: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box. Black Guardian: A palm reader could tell Rassilon's future by looking at your face. Celestial Toymaker: The phrase 'talk to teh hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face. White Guardian: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed. - White Guardian: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. White Guardian, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor. - Black Guardian: Did you hear that!? Rassilon just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT! White Guardian: ...You just threatened to kill them in their sleep. - Celestial Toymaker: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?! Rassilon: Cause I’m one of the idiots who lives in it! - Dream Lord: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Papal Mainframe: Spear. Dream Lord: BLOCKED. - Dream Lord: Hey, can you do me a favor? Rassilon: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this. Dream Lord: You don’t even have a legitimate reason? Rassilon: Oh, no, I do. Dream Lord: Well, what is it? Rassilon: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck. - Black Guardian: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Rassilon: Black Guardian: Rassilon: ...Please, go back to bed. - Celestial Toymaker: I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future. Dream Lord: Oh yeah? Then continue this. Dream Lord: I don't cook I don't clean- Celestial Toymaker: So let me tell you how I got this ring. Celestial Toymaker & Dream Lord: ..... Celestial Toymaker & Dream Lord: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-

[always-andromeda]

Time for a little talk. Skip if you don’t feel like reading. I just wanted to get some thoughts out because I’ve been seeing a lot of fatphobia pop up on my dashboard and I just got some comments that reminded me of it all.

TW: discussion around fatphobia, mention of EDs (nothing graphic), disgusting comments from a disgusting individual.

So a few months ago I made this silly little post:

Essentially, that day I got a load of OOTD videos from a plus size influencer on my for you page. And I was saddened to open the comments on every single one and see that the top comments were all insulting, unfunny comments about this woman who was simply just. Standing in front of a camera. Striking some poses. Showing off her outfit.

However. The other day, I got some particularly gross comments on that post:

Now let me clarify, I didn’t legitimize their comments with a response. I have since blocked them and I’m keeping their username covered because honestly, it’s just some random bullshit blog that reposts stolen aesthetic images from Pinterest and makes disparaging comments about fat people on tumblr. Their life is grim enough by the looks of things.

And I'm not posting this to say, "Look at the mean comments I got!! Feel bad for me!! 🥺" Because if this was just regular old fatphobia, I would've ignored and blocked this bullshit like I've done in the past. But it's that first comment that made me chuckle. Friends, I present to you the weakest excuse I've heard for being an absolute piece of shit:

They put themselves out there. They deserve the insults. Plain and simple.

For extra context: I've been fat my whole life. And I probably always will be. I've been insulted for it by "friends" and bullies alike. No matter how much I've restricted, worked out, binged, and purged, none of it has ever made me lose weight. If anything, all those actions have done to me is physical damage that I can't undo!

But these people don't care about that. They don't care about listening and extending empathy and learning like a decent human being might. Even if a fat person did try and comply with this person's bullshit logic and go to the gym to "fix" themselves, they'd still get treated like shit for the simple fact that they exist and they have a body and they dare to show it in public. There is no correct or incorrect way to be fat.

A person's body does not hold some inherent moral value. Leaving pathetically vile comments on a random post from a random blog you don't even follow sure does hold a moral value though I think! One that matters just an eeeensy bit more than my fat ass saying in a silly tumblr post: "Hey, it'd be really cool if I could just...exist...without getting stomped into oblivion, thanks!"

If I dared to pretend that comments like these are made with a shred of good faith in them, I would argue that there is no "winning" with people like this. They only care to perpetuate a cycle of self loathing and discouragement specifically designed to keep us in the position of being punching bags. All they care to do is hurt people they don't know because the internet has afforded them a level of removal from the rot within their hearts.

I'm not saying anything groundbreaking, I'm aware. There are plenty of folks who are more articulate than I am who have had these conversations dozens of time over.

But these people feed on our misery. They feed on their ability to kick up a fuss and hurt our feelings with half assed insults. One might argue that I'm kicking up a fuss right now typing up a long ass tumblr post in response to two measly comments. If that's your contribution to this discussion, get absolutely fucked, this post isn't for you. It’s not for the commenter either.

This post is for all of my homies who have become the punching bag, both on and offline. Because it hurts either way. I hear you and I see you, friends. And the second you start to doubt yourself when these beasts rear their ugly heads, please remember that their words have nothing to do with you. They use their words and their energy to deliberately cause harm. And there is something deeply wrong with that. Some wrong thing that you don't possess purely for some physical trait. Never ever forget that distinction.

I love you all. I'm glad we exist. And I hope that we can keep spreading love in whatever ways we can.

[blog-name-idk]

Everything Falls (Into Place) | 03

**Banner by the incredible @bangtansmauyeondan

Pairing: OT7 x Fem Reader

Genre: College!AU, Roommate!AU, Fluff, Humor, Smut

Summary: Your new roommates are unbearably nice and unbearably hot. Good thing you're an adult who is fully capable of platonic friendships with the opposite sex, right?

Word Count: 1683

~~~~~

"I still can't believe the whole situation," Mina said in awe as you finished packing the scant belongings you had taken to her place. You would be collecting the rest of your things from your old apartment later that day, and Namjoon and Jin had kindly volunteered to go with you.

"I kind of still don't believe it either," you admitted with a laugh. "It seems like an intro to a bad porno but they're nice guys. And my brother would never even have mentioned them if he didn't also think they were good people."

"That's true, Jackson is a good judge of character," Mina agreed dreamily, before hastily adding, "and so are you!" You snorted and rolled your eyes.

"Mina. You like my brother. That's okay. I've told you this before. I legitimately don't care "

"No I don't!" She protested shrilly, turning bright red. "A-and even if I did, that would be against girl code!"

You sighed and put down your bag, and put your hands on her shoulders.

"Mina. My dude. I will only say this one more time. Go for it. Nothing would make me happier than having the two people I love most in the world make each other happy too."

"R-really?" She asked, eyes suddenly watery, and you smiled reassuringly at her before you grabbed your bag again.

"Really," you confirmed, opening the door to leave. "Besides, he thinks you're hot," you added nonchalantly before stepping outside. As the door closed behind you, you heard a shriek.

"Wait, what?"

~~~~~

"Hey, thanks for coming. I really appreciate this," you said gratefully as Jin pulled into the parking lot of your old apartment. He and Namjoon smiled at you before you all made to leave the car.

"No problem, roomie," Namjoon said with his horribly cute dimpled smile.

"Help me with dinner sometimes and we're even," Jin added, eyes twinkling.

"Done," you agreed with a laugh as you climbed the stairs to your unit. You cautiously unlocked the door and peered inside, and sighed in disappointment when you saw your roommate was home.

"Geez, took you long enough, you done with drama now?" You felt your eye twitch as she began spewing her bullshit before you could even step fully into the apartment.

"Not quite, actually," you replied evenly as Jin and Namjoon followed you inside with empty boxes. You watched her jaw drop as she drank in the sight of the two glorious men behind you, and a petty part of you wanted to stick out your tongue and waggle your fingers at her. Yeah, keep my ex, you asshole.

"My room's this way, guys," you said instead, regretfully letting the adult in you win out. It took less than an hour to shove your clothes, textbooks, and other knick knacks into the boxes you had brought, even with Namjoon relegated to standing in the corner after he accidentally broke one of your figurines. After taking everything to Jin's car you gave the room one final once over to make sure you hadn't forgotten anything.

"Are you sure you're fine leaving this?" Asked Namjoon, gesturing to the bed he and Jin were sitting on. You grimaced.

"Considering I have no idea how many times my roommate and ex fucked on that mattress, definitely not. And the desk was cheap, too much hassle."

Namjoon blanched at your reply, and he and Jin both quickly stood up with grossed out facial expressions. Before he could say anything else, an unwelcome guest appeared in your doorway.

"[Y/n]!" You almost facepalmed at your ex's dramatic entrance, complete with a cliche-ass bouquet of red roses. "I can explain!"

"No thank you," you said coldly, crossing your arms. "You're blocking the door."

"Please! You can't just throw away all our time together! I-I love you!" You just stared at him for a moment, complete nonplussed. Really? His thought this was the appropriate time to drop the L bomb? And that it would work? What exactly had you seen in this dumbass again? Instead of winning you back, he had instead successfully dissipated any remaining feelings you had for him. They were instead replaced by irritation and even a bit of amusement as you heard a muffled snort that had to have come from one of the guys behind you.

"I'm good, actually," you just barely managed not to laugh at how ridiculous this scene must look to Jin and Namjoon, who were conveniently hidden from view by your bedroom door. Some of your good humor must have still peeked through, however, and he took it as an invitation to step forward.

"Let me prove it to you," he insisted, reaching for you, and you recoiled in disgust.

"Hey babe, this guy bothering you?"

Apparently the change in your expression had been enough for the boys to realize it was time to step in, and Jin appeared next to you, casually draping an arm over your shoulder.

"What the fuck?" Your ex gasped, staring up at the very broad, tall, sexy man looming over him.

"Thanks for showing me that I deserve better than someone who disrespects me," you said sweetly, before turning to gaze up at Jin adoringly. The cocky smirk he was aiming at your gobsmacked ex made your brain to mouth filter temporarily malfunction.

"I deserve someone who disrespects me and has a huge dick."

You had to give credit to Jin's acting skills, as his only reaction was to smirk wider. You did notice that his ears had gone bright red, which was absolutely adorable.

Namjoon did not share the same acting chops, however, and gave away his presence by choking at your bold declaration.

"Two huge dicks, even," you said nonchalantly, doubling down and pushing the door further open to reveal Namjoon looking like a deer in the headlights. Your ex's eyes widened further and you took advantage of his shock to push past him.

"Now excuse us, we have to go. So many dicks, so little time. I'm sure you of all people understand. Let's go, boys."

Jin and Namjoon, both resembling strawberries at this point, meekly followed you as you marched out of the apartment. You said nothing as you tossed your old keys to your speechless roommate, worried that if you opened your mouth you would burst out laughing. You manage to get into the backseat before you let the dam break, and the boys weren't far after you.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," you choked out, trying to catch your breath. You were releasing unattractive snorts through your nose, but you were too full of mirth to care.

"I can't believe you said all that," Namjoon gasped from the passenger's seat, still bright red, before succumbing to boisterous laughter.

"His face," Jin wheezed with squeaky giggles. You felt your heart swell with affection for these two men you had just met.

"Guys, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

~~~~~

To celebrate your first night at the house, Jin had made dinner. And, it being a celebration, it was accompanied by copious amounts of wine "because we're being fancy" - Jimin's words.

"What the fuck," you groaned as you took a bite, the wine you had already imbibed loosening your tongue. "What is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?" Asked Jin, mildly offended.

"There's no way you can be handsome, nice, funny, and an amazing cook. It's just not fair," you ranted before diving back into your meal. You were so focused on the delicious flavors assaulting your tongue that you missed the way the redness sped up his ears straight to the rest of his face.

"[Y/n], aren't I handsome too?" Jimin pouted at you and you snickered, marveling at how comfortable you already felt with everyone.

"Obviously," you scoffed, and he beamed.

"Honestly, you guys are like, the best looking people I've ever seen. Including girls."

Your unabashed honesty was met with mixed reactions. Yoongi just ignored everyone and took a large gulp of wine. Jimin and Tae waggled their eyebrows at you. Hobi, Jungkook, and Jin tried to hide their blushes by shoving food into their mouths. Namjoon silently prayed for deliverance from the vengeful god bearing your brother's face.

"Actually, that reminds me," you declared, steeling yourself before inevitable embarrassment. "I just want to put out there that there will be no sexual activity between myself and any member of this house."

Several of the boys began choking on either food or wine, and they all openly stared at you as you gazed determinedly at your plate, cheeks bright pink. It was borderline humiliating to be saying this so openly, but you felt that this was the best time to set boundaries - when you were buzzed enough to be blunt, but sober enough not to make a complete idiot out of yourself. Well, you did tend to manage to do that without alcohol, but still.

"I know it's unlikely anyone is or would even want to or consider it," you added quickly, suddenly insecure and realizing it was extremely presumptuous to even assume you might be in the same league as these guys. "I just wanted to get that out there just in case. Uh… sorry for making this awkward " you finished lamely, still staring at your food and determinedly not meeting the eyes of any of your new roommates.

"You're good," Namjoon assured you gently. "Honestly you're probably right. We've never lived with a girl before, so I think it's smart to address any potential complications." You looked up at him and felt reassured by his sincere smile.

"Plus," he added, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "Your brother scares the shit out of me."

You nodded sagely, knowing how overprotective he could be, but Jungkook looked unconvinced.

"Jackson-hyung? But he's so nice," he said, throwing a skeptical look at Namjoon.

"So's Hobi," Yoongi pointed out, and Jungkook shut up. You raised your eyebrows, glancing at the man in question, who was currently engaged making silly faces with Taehyung. Well, it was always the ones you'd least expect.

~~~~~

Tags: @singukieee

Next | Masterlist

[eurazia]

1) Don't let the hate get to you. They act that way because deep down they're scared and insecure about their own beliefs, while we're enjoying our ship as if it's a given it'll happen. They can't stand our confidence, but can't win against us with arguments, so they resort to hate and name-calling. Our convictions and beliefs are strong and unshakable like Charioce himself. We've got facts on our side, we've got logic, we've got the support of the writers, we've got the official materials and

2) everything points at charinia, while they have nothing other than ‘oh but everything can happen, Nina can still end up with Azaz*l’. They’re mad, because they assumed on their own that Azaz*l was the main hero in VS, so of course he’d get the girl, but then they’ve been constantly proven wrong and people don’t like to be proven wrong. So they cling to their misconceptions and biases, because at this point it’d be humiliating to admit the other side may have been right all along, especially

3) when they consider us cocky and arrogant. So just ignore the hate. Block more toxic people for your own mental safety. Or just let them hate only to drink their tears when every single hope of theirs gets crushed by canon. We have done nothing wrong. We’re just super enthusiastic about our ship, and we have legitimate reasons to be, which is what they can’t stand the most. If they could bring us down in a civili discussion, they would, but the thing is, THEY CAN’T. We’re just too strong.

This, my friend, was needed. Luckly enough I chilled out pretty soon, but I’m glad I have now the chance to express what I feel about all this mess.

Which is, this is tiring. A lot.

I can’t really stand to go into the main tag and see multiple posts about the same topic all over again; we’re getting into a vicious circle of opinions that nobody actually wants to read because what really matter is we disagree with each other.

STOP. WE GET IT. WE DISAGREE. FINE. Let’s move on, pretty please?

I’ll follow your advice, I won’t let the hate get me, but it really sads me when I can’t go look for new s n b material to share, because there’s only bitching here and there.

Now. I can see the point of an az*//nin* shipper (actually only one by now lol but yeah) in which they feel bad to read about their own ship called delusional and such. I can see that. I’m not arguing about defending the ship, because if someone would do the same with my ship and someone did that, not gonna lie I would be upset too. You can delete the posts,but that still hurt. (The thing is tho, I haven’t seen this crude way to spit on ships they were talking about, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that by myself. Besides, this is my reaction based only on what I saw and read.)

That said, I’m here, not properly upset, just sad. Maybe it’s just me not being actually able to argue that well.So, for this time and for all, I’m gonna state something probably useless, that will just let me off steam and nothing else. Because, again, I’m tired of this sensless chaos.

Whatever you think, whoever hurt you, whichever is the reason, calling names is bad and childish. Just do not.No one here is denying anything. Charioce is a killer? Charioce is a tyrant? Charioce is evil, Charioce is soulless? FINE, YOU’RE RIGHT.

Satisfied much? I am. Do I like the man? Yes I do. Does it make you feel disgusted? I’m sorry to hear that, but that’s what it is and nothing else.I personally do not excuse him in any way and I think a lot of other charinina shippers do the same. (and this brings me to the next point)

Whenever there’s a post trying to explain - and not excuse, explain - Charioce’s behaviour in the most civil and placid way, it isn’t overflowed by unrelated comments of any kind. I wish there was more posts of this kind in the main tag. And also about different topics more plot related, but yeah

Last but not the least, two things I really have close to my heart (and here I’m gonna quote my previous tags):

1)Everyone. can. ship. the fuck. they want.Everyone. can. like. the fuck. they want.Az*z*l. and. charioce. are. at the same. level. No one of them is better than the other in the ethical way. Period.2)Karma is not justice. I repeat, karma is not justice. If Az is having his karma in s2, that’s not as he’s been forgiven for what he did. He still did what he did.So, why it’s okay to like him, but liking Charioce isn’t? What makes you think Az wouldn’t kill and slave humans back in s1? He killed Favaro and Kaisar’s fathers, and I believe he’s still not sorry for that (which is definitely as it should be, knowing his character and all. And on a side note, I like him for who he is! Really!)

**TL;DR**: There’s no meaning to all of this. Shit storming on Az or Char is nonsensical, seen that they pretty much resemble each other, and it’s the same with shit storming on ships. 

Idek how many times more I have to repeat myself, but letting things flow it’s the solution. Ever. And after this post I’ll probably do so. Black list, black list everything. Block who you should block, let this craziness cease.

**VERY IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE**: I’m intentionally not tagging this with the main tag. I don’t want to spread the nth discussion. I appreciated the anon, it helped me move on from my sadness that’s it. I’m not even try to be “the good one” here, because there’s no need for that. So. No more bulshitting and fighting from both sides, okay?

I completely understand we all (as the whole fandom) get defensive when we feel pushed or mistreated, but if we ourselves don’t want to stop this from the start, it will never end. 

Just… let’s think about it. And thank you for reading until now.