#pluralmusings

[patricia-taxxon]

some new headmate showed up, went to the mirror to see what my person looked like, and got so freaked out that they switched out before i got a name or pronouns from them

[thescrapyardblog]

as a system without an inner-world (or at least without a strong sense of it) i think the idea has always appealed to us... i know for sure what it would be (a cozy apartment unit) and roughly the look and layout, but i wouldn't say we really ever "had it". i don't really know how much it bothers me. do my alters live there? i like to think of it that way but i don't know if that's "true".

[patricia-taxxon]

avery & olive cofronting

[i-came-here-to-laugh-at-shit]

I've been living as a different . Not person. But I haven't been Kiki for about a day and a half now. I'm an android girl now . I have a different name and different thoughts and I act differently. Weird shit but life is weird I guess, Mako out

Might be more active on this tumblr than her x3

[eyesonthethrone]

passports ready @jazzzamora @tolomarvelous ?? “don’t be late, get to your gate on time” - @meallionsssssssss 🌎🌍🌏 we’re teaming up with @pluralmusic for this sunday’s show 7am - 3pm manila (standard time) ✈️💺 set your alarms we flying to 🇺🇸 lollll #notnotthemove #allpenalties #thevirtualgetdown #medium #weareverydone https://www.instagram.com/p/B_q2eJfj0jj/?igshid=38v2hm1q3529

[patricia-taxxon]

i cried a little when you first showed this to me, happy to be able to put it on my page!

@patricia-taxxon

[patricia-taxxon]

i need to soapbox about DID more, because its kinda like being trans, you'd think that you'd notice if you had it but that's just cultural osmosis giving a skewed impression, statistically you probably wouldn't. statistically you need to do rigorous work to notice.

[patricia-taxxon]

one of the things that helped me with DID is realizing that everyone has parts and the disorder is when you gotta go to therapy to be able to talk to each other

[patricia-taxxon]

Okay, lets play a little thought game. Imagine for a second that we're in an alternate universe where everything is the same, except there's a mental illness that (among other things) obliterates your gender identity, turning you agender. Like it's got a lot of symptoms, but that one's a mandatory associated feature. Nonbinary people still exist in this alternate universe, but the mental illness that makes you nonbinary (MITMYNB) is broadly thought of to be the cause of nonbinary identities, and nonbinary genders are not yet recognized or understood.

Naturally, everyone on earth sees these two groups as being identical. The broader public assumes all nonbinary people to have MITMYNB, it isn't understood how one could be nonbinary without suffering greatly from all of the illness's other symptoms. Some nonbinary people even claim to be happy about being nonbinary, when MITMYNB is known to cause crushing dysphoria and depression over one's loss of gender identity. They're appropriating the struggles of the mentally ill for attention, if they were really nonbinary they would be miserable, they'd be lining up for conversion therapy, (which works sometimes in this universe because it is occasionally an associated feature of a mental illness but causes incalculable pain to those who are nonbinary but don't have it)

Of course, the only thing that nonbinary-gendered people can do is create tightly knit communities and enforce dogmatic validity as a defense against the impossible weight of invalidating wrought on them by people who are, for all they know, in the same group as them. Remember, we know in our universe that "nonbinary" is a gender, but they still don't. Mantras form. You don't need to be mentally ill to be nonbinary, you don't need a diagnosis, there is nothing to be treated, you are valid just the way you are. Which, while it is probably exactly what needed to be said to some people, it ends up further confusing and invalidating people who are suffering from the mental illness. "What do you mean, I am seeing spots and forgetting my last name, I don't want to be valid, I need help, I need community." Screamed helplessly to people who can't fully understand, who believe they're being told that their earnestly held gender identity, their selfhood, is a mental illness. No one wins. This is how I feel about plurality.

[patricia-taxxon]

the most fun symptom of DID is feeling my opinions on my closest friends shift radically as I switch and forget almost everything about them. did i say fun? it actually makes me want to fucking kill myself

[patricia-taxxon]

plurality is more mundane than you think it is

[patricia-taxxon]

it feels so nice to be spoken to as if im more than one person

[patricia-taxxon]

hey, friend, thank you for reaching out, unfortunately i am a different person and I forgot how we know each other, can you please reintroduce yourself

[patricia-taxxon]

if i was faking plurality, nix would have been named Alvin because i had a five letter A name thing going on with Avery and Amber and wanted to continue the pattern, but he really didn't like that name

[patricia-taxxon]

i think i need friends who will take care of my littles in a non-kinky responsible adult way.

[patricia-taxxon]

my therapist is encouraging me to find more age-appropriate interests and hobbies for Olive in addition to the sexual ones, she gave me a plushie as a gift to her