thescrapyardblog

[thescrapyardblog]

ah shit.

welp this notebook just got lost so i'll be putting this here for posterity

[thescrapyardblog]

I wasn't born, so much as I fell out Nobody seemed to notice me We had a hedge back home in the suburbs Over which I never could see

I heard the people who live on the ceiling Scream and fight, most scarily Hearing that noise was my first ever feeling That's how it's been, all around me

The Clash - Lost In The Supermarket

[thescrapyardblog]

this stupid fear of destitution and low social status that our parents instilled in us is so debilitating sometimes. you could argue its motivating but it also keeps me up and distracted at night and impairs compassionate action.

[thescrapyardblog]

someone thought to give an ego to all the flesh and neurons we call the human race. now i sit around worrying about being remembered, about the passage of time, about what happened to us as a kid, about being loved. one has to wonder it was worth being able to stand upright and throw spears. i worry about all the other collections of meat throwing me to the side, leaving me to starve and my bits of brain flesh all over the concrete, sad and sopping and drying to death in the sun. i know i would do the same in a heartbeat. chicken or the egg. do i worry about being cared about because i know i dont? or did something inside of me shut off at some point?

[thescrapyardblog]

Should I write myself Out of the history books? And mark a place in time For every chance you took?

And when it all comes down To a sunrise on the east side Will you be there to carry me home? The remains of my wasted youth This wasted time on you has left me Shaking and waiting for something more

[thescrapyardblog]

blog update

want there to be more like the guitar hero posts, more system oriented. still havent drawn headspace! unbelievable. there should be less random shit, that wasnt what this was for

[thescrapyardblog]

...but peace belongs to the contented.

the world belongs to the ambitious...

[thescrapyardblog]

the world belongs to the ambitious...

[thescrapyardblog]

i sit here and mourn the innocent, happy little boy we should have been.

[thescrapyardblog]

been feeling like shit lately... trying to sleep with this headache, and the back pain when lying down made it difficult to get rest. probably a cold since turning off the airconditioner helped. have i been dissociated enough to not notice smaller issues until they got bigger? anyway, right now im confident we can perform well today, at least.

[thescrapyardblog]

5 Minute Writing Challenge

Route 320

August 20th

In my eight years driving this route, no one passenger has ever really stood out to me. Every asshole or weirdo has always blended into the weird blur that is my job. That is, until today. I almost didn’t see him at first. He came up onto the bus at the Western Hill bus interchange. I was checking one of my meters when he tapped in. Something in me compelled me to look up. Was it fate, when I looked up into those beautiful eyes as they smiled at me? When I got home, I spent a little too long trying to get to sleep.

[thescrapyardblog]

a pretty boy like me needs a big strong man to keep him safe going home at night...

🖤

[thescrapyardblog]

The satellites that search the night They twinkle like a star They send their love from up above Down to my VTR The world is at my fingers Under control Video, oh-oh! Got the world on video

[thescrapyardblog]

"I already told you," the robed man replied, "I need this body to exist on this plane. Why would I give it back so soon?"

He looked down. The woman was drenched, face wet and red from tears. "Please... I want my boy back..." Her voice was hoarse from her yelling and crying. "I promise I won't call you a demon, just please let me see him again..."

He frowned at the word, then slowly lowered himself, his gaze piercing into hers. "Look into my eyes, mortal." He moved them even closer now. "What do you see in here? Do you see your son's soul?" His voice had a bite to it that almost seemed bitter.

"I will tell you the truth, woman. He is simply asleep. I'd advise you not to disturb him." He let himself out of her space, out of the light of the room. "Our bond is permanent now, and controlled by forces beyond your understanding. No matter what you do, you can never be rid of me." Her expression barely changing, her eyes simply followed him as he left the room.

"Now if you'll excuse me, my followers are waiting for me."

[thescrapyardblog]

In a realm where a mortal can become a god, I suppose they would need machines to serve and worship instead. Perhaps the mortals who tend to these machines consider themselves followers, in a way.

👁️

In another life, a distant world, I was worshipped as a god. Some may call it a cult, I understand. But their faith was as strong as the pleasure I felt from being a living idol.

I find myself in a strange world now, drifting in and out of sleep in a foreign body, only awoken by my rage. The life I once knew is starting to feel more like a distant, hazy memory.

But I know no matter where I end up, or my circumstance, people will always need to believe in something.

👁️

[thescrapyardblog]

I needs coffee.

👁️

In another life, a distant world, I was worshipped as a god. Some may call it a cult, I understand. But their faith was as strong as the pleasure I felt from being a living idol.

I find myself in a strange world now, drifting in and out of sleep in a foreign body, only awoken by my rage. The life I once knew is starting to feel more like a distant, hazy memory.

But I know no matter where I end up, or my circumstance, people will always need to believe in something.

👁️