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polyklok · 1 year

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What makes them soft 🥰 VS What gets them hard 😈 (Dethklok x Reader)

I thought of that title and it was too good to give up

Fluffy moments vs Turn-Ons headcanons for the Dethklok boys (if that wasn’t obvious enough) TW: Although not explicitly smut, this is definitely a bit spicy and has hints of kinks. Please, Minors DNI.

Nathan explosion

What makes him soft

Being a busy guy, Nathan values a lot of comfortable silence and mutual space. When you two are just sitting together, doing completely different things, not talking, yet enjoying each other’s company nonetheless. Most of the time, he’ll be writing song lyrics, storyboarding a music video, or planning out a concert. His mind is occupied, but he’ll occasionally take the time to look over to you and appreciate just how soothing your presence is.

This guy will go weak in the knees for random little pecks. On his cheeks, nose, shoulders, hands, he’ll go absolutely crazy when you give him just small, passing kisses. He might even stop what both of you are doing just to get more. Don’t get me wrong, he loves a good make out session, but quick and fleeting kisses are definitely up there on the list.

When really focused, Nathan has the tendency to overwork himself, getting completely enamored in his goals and not focusing on much else. Similarly, being an unofficial “Band Dad”, he might be very busy trying to keep his chaotic band mates in check and on schedule. So having a darling S/O who reminds him to take breaks and take care of himself is so precious. Just little, “It’s been a while, let’s have a snack.” or “We should be heading to bed now.” Are just lovely little reminders on just how much you care for him and it seriously makes his heart ache with warmth.

What gets him hard

Nathan is…stubborn and tends to be hardheaded. He’s pretty good at keeping himself in check, but sometimes that ignorance will still slip out. But, HOO, when he has an S/O that’ll snap back. Goddamn! Get a bit angry, boss him around a little. Nothing mean, just put him in his place. He’ll certainly return the favor to you later.

While I still stand by the fact that he loves some quick affection, he still greatly appreciates lingering touches as well. Specifically, massages. He’s a big guy, a big guy who is constantly hunching down and head banging. Rub up his neck and shoulders, please! He might literally beg you, if he must. He considers a massage to be some great foreplay, aftercare, or just whenever. He just really loves it.

Whispering. I don’t know how to explain this one, I just feel like he’s the kind of fella to just go wild over some whispering in his ear. Doesn’t even have to be flirty or sexual; get real close and whisper to him your grocery list, he’ll probably be bricked up over it.

Pickles The Drummer

What makes him soft

You know how Pickles had a completely supportive home life and a loving family? No? Not at all? Huh. That’s probably why he gets seriously emotional whenever you give him praise. Any kind at all, just a simple “Good job” might make his eyes start to water. Tries really hard to hide it too, cause if you'll notice, you might start to worry about him WHICH WILL MAKE HIM CRY EVEN MORE-

Scratching this isn’t kinky I swear- You know that feeling when someone gently drags their fingernails across your skin? Just barely enough to leave red streaks and cause goosebumps, but not nearly enough for any actual pain? Maybe I’m projecting but something tells me he’s just melt into that sensation. Bonus points if you play connect-the-dots with his freckles or something.

Pickles will regularly drink and drug himself up to oblivion, which makes absolutely brutal hangovers a very common occurrence. But he’s used to dealing with it on his own. Until you decided that wouldn’t do and started taking care of him during these tough moments. Even when he’s painfully groaning into you thighs, he really does love the fact that you’re just willing to be here with him, dealing with his pathetic habits and worse symptoms.

What gets him hard

Nothing gets him in the mood quite like seeing you dance. Seeing you bounce and sway to some music definitely puts his head deep into the gutter, especially if the song is filthy. Even better, one of Dethklok's songs. He’ll be staring at your legs, hips, and chest with a smirk for hours and he’ll definitely ask you to recreate some of those moves for him later, privately.

I think he has a thing for oversized clothes. Most of the women he surrounds himself with wear tight, revealing clothing and while that's all done and good, he really enjoys something that's loose and too big on you. Doesn't matter how big you are; buy a shirt a couple sizes up and it'll probably end up on his floor in a matter of hours. Also I think he wants to be the boyfriend to give you his clothing that's too big for you, but he's so tiny himself, it probably won't work :/

Okay, sure, it's nice to have a partner that's a little bashful or even teasing when it comes to sexytimes, someone who likes making a show out of it. But, he loves having a partner that's very casual about their sexuality. This was totally inspired by that great Momento Mori fanfic btw. When you skip to the chase of getting undressed or talk about kinks openly like it was in the morning news or simply ask for sex from him, no hesitation, he'll be so much more enthusiastic about it.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

What makes him soft

Skwisgaar is famous, or infamous, for being a Sex God. He has slept with more people in a week than most will in their entire lives; he's probably the biggest whore in history. It's what's expected of him. If you are in a monogamous relationship with him, he's already out of his element and feeling vulnerable. This wasn't supposed to happen to him. But then you start giving him affection. Hugs and cuddles, kisses on his cheek, and little pets that don't lead to sex just make his heart flutter in a way he didn't know was possible. He's had countless women touching every part of his body, but when you do it out of sentiment and tenderness rather than because you're horny...oh gosh, he becomes addicted to that feeling.

He'd be the type of guy to pine after good ol' fashion shyness. Seeing you blush, stutter, and look away at some simple flirting quips makes him melt. He loves getting his ego stroked so he often fosters your nervousness just to make himself feel like a big man. He especially likes it if you start to use him as a crutch for your shyness, like hiding your face in his chest or something.

While he tends to come off as smug, cold and dismissive, he is really such a crybaby and has a healthy dose of anxiety as well. While it will take a while a long while for him to open up and expose his emotional side, he really values someone who can comfort him in his tough moments. He’s gonna be bratty about it the first few times, but it means so much just to have someone there and caring for him.

What gets him hard

Oh boy, double whammy! The shyness not only hits his heart, but that feeling moves down south as well. Not necessarily acting timid in the bedroom, although he does like that, but watching the shyness melt away as you really get into it. Especially if you’re a bit controlling of him. Seeing your reserved attitude give away to dominance just fucking gets to him.

This one’s weird ngl So we all know how particular Skwisgaar is. He’s a bit of a diva. I’d think he’d like to pick your clothing. Nothing super invasive, but he likes to choose what outfit you wear before the two of you go out to do something nice. He gets so much pride that from knowing you’re wearing what he picked from you and he cannot wait to tear it off. Bonus points if you get compliments on it; he’s not gonna brag in front of people, but he’s gonna tease you for it later.

If you couldn’t tell, I imagine him to be semi-possessive. So he would just love to mark you up with hickies and bruises and scratches. He’ll have the cockiest smirk on his face as others stare at the marks covering your neck or thighs. He’ll show off his own marks that you left as well, wearing low-cut shirts after a particularly rough night.

Toki Wartooth

What makes him soft

Ahh, this boy is such a sweetheart! A lot of things you do will turn him into putty. But especially if you play into any traditional lifestyle. Toki bought a ring a month into your relationship, so saying your interested in marriage will make him so happy, he might propose right there! You want kids? So does he! How soon? As traumatizing at it was, he was raised with extremely conventional values, so seeing you cook or clean or act domestic even a little bit will push all the right buttons in his brain.

Toki never uses your name. It’s a given. Pretty much the moment you met, he’s called you by all the cheesiest pet names he can think of, even before you were dating. Some are cute; Sweetie, Darling, Prince/Princess, Kitty. But, just as much as those, he uses all the tacky ones that make everyone cringe as well; Honeybun, Num-Nums, Snookums, Baby Cakes. It gets worse. It doesn’t matter if you hate it, he thinks it’s cute!

Despite him usually waking up the earliest out of the band members, and having a cherry demeanor overall, Toki is not a morning person. He will be so pissed if he is waken up before he wants to, alarm clocks are not allowed in his room. He has very vivid and happy dreams and hates to be torn away from them. But he loves waking up with you, every single morning. Even if you snore or drool or kick in your sleep, he will be so happy to see you as you both wake up. Your tired face and messy hair and mumbling “good morning” just feels so right, really gets him in the feels.

What gets him hard

(This one is specifically for female readers) Remember when I said he definitely wants children? I wasn’t kidding. Man wants to start trying for a baby today. He hates condoms and will try to convince you to get off birth control. Almost every time you mess around, he’s gonna bring up how pretty you’ll be with his kids growing in you. Always wants to finish inside. The breeding kink is strong here.

Ok, so yes, Toki generally likes his S/O to be as sweet and loving as he is. But you know what else he is? Fucking scary. If you have some occasions where you get really pissed off, telling off some asshole or even beating them up, Toki wants you right then and there. He loves seeing the seething anger on your face not directed at him and definitely gets turned on if a little blood gets on you. Brutal.

Nudes are great, right? He definitely likes getting some dirty pictures from you now and then, especially if he’s away on tour and can’t get the real thing. But even more so than that, he loves getting teasing photos from you. Especially if you act dumb. Send him a necklace photo that just so happens to show off your cleavage or collarbone; show him something your holding with your soft thighs in the background; send him a selfie from bed where you ‘accidentally’ leave some sex toys in frame. Oh my god, he’ll go so crazy for it and pays you back double when he finally sees you again.

William Murderface

What makes him soft

It’s so easy to make his heart melt, it’s almost sad. He definitely puts up a tough exterior, but once you’re through, he’s pretty much at his knees for anything you do. But high up on his list (he would be the type to make a list) is receiving compliments from you. He already idolizes you and is weirdly grateful that you show him as much affection as you do, so even tiny compliments are gonna have him twisted around your finger, as if he wasn’t already before. He’ll kill someone for you if you just call him prettyboy beforehand, I swear to god.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is his stomach. This is true for almost anyone, but especially Murderface. He’ll gobble up anything you cook for him so quickly, doesn’t matter what. He’s bashful about it, but eventually, he’ll show his passion for cooking for you and teaching you some recipes definitely makes for some sweet bonding time. His favorite date is cooking something together and then eat it while watching an awful movie.

As you’ve probably guessed by now; Murderface is, what some might call, a total simp for you and is completely tender for anything you do. So, if you happen to flip the script, and start building him up as something desirable and pine after him hard, ohhhh man. This extends from the compliments but- Flirt! Get handsy in public! Show him off! He is literally one of the world’s most popular cultural figure and yet his self confidence is dirt. Be grateful for your famous, angsty, bulldog-faces boyfriend and his stomach will explode in butterflies!

What gets him hard

He seems like the kind of guy to seriously get off on eye contact not me tho. Make eyes at him from across a room and don’t look away. The longer you stare just at him, the more he’ll blush and squirm. Once you do finally get some private time, he insists on maintaining eye contact with you as long as you both can manage. It’s somehow feels both romantic and fucking dirty with him.

William is pretty much addicted to your scent. If you have a signature perfume or lotion, he wants to drown in the stuff. He loves to bury his face in any article of clothing you manage to leave behind in his room. While in his afterglow, he likes to creep up behind you and smell your hair and sweat. Even body odor, he likes it if it’s yours. Yeah, he’s a weirdo, but you already snatched him up. Please let him borrow a few sprays of your perfume to wear for the day.

Seeing you handle weaponry…my god. This poor boy. Could be knives, guns, anything in between. Just you holding it is enough to make his knees wobbly and his vision blurry. If you know how to use it? Good lord, he wants to be at the end of that weapon no matter the consequences. He’d be completely okay dying that way. Seriously though, this man has a thing for weaponry and danger. He puts on the attitude of a violent, hateful man but underneath that is a softie. But under want that softie is man who CRAVES VIOLENCE-

I got more and more sleep deprived as I wrote this man

Will I ever be able to write something comprehensible and exceptional?…probably not.

#metalocalypse #dethklok #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #nathan explosion #william murderface #toki wartooth #polyklok is real #metalocalypse x reader #metalocaypse headcanon #dethklok headcanon #dethklok x reader #sorry if the format is weird #I wrote half of this on my phone and the other half on a computer #tw kink

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polyklok · 1 year

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When they’re down bad

Dethklok and their massive, throbbing crush. You can interpret this as and xReader, xOC, or even towards each other idk I don’t make the rules.

Nathan Explosion

Unlike the other members, Nathan has had experience with actual girlfriends (rather than just flings) before, and so can identify the difference between attraction and actual romantic interest pretty quickly.

But he’s still a total idiot about it. He basically hasn’t developed his flirting style since high school; he hasn’t needed to. He’s famous! So, he just sorta forces himself into their attention all the time. He purposely bumps into them, asks to borrow random things, always stands or sits next to them. He just wants to constantly be around them.

He tries to start conversations too but, my god, he’s so awkward! They’ll be sitting in silence together and he just shouts “MAN, THIS WEATHER IS CRAZY.” While it’s been perfectly sunny for three days straight. BTW, he’s always yelling around his crush. It’s partly because he’s nervous, partly because he’s trying to assert his “dominance” (he doesn’t have any)

He tries to drop not-so-subtle hints about his feelings. Like, there will be a couple in public, clearly on a very romantic, cheesy date and he’ll be like “THAT LOOKS FUN, WE SHOULD DO THAT SOMETIME” to his crush. Or if there’s a kissing scene in a movie, he squeezes their hand or something. Just, out of the blue.

In general, he’s pretty obvious and is sort of a disaster, but it’s cute and oddly charming. 7/10 because I suddenly decided I’m ranking them

Pickles The Drummer

If Nathan was a disaster, he’s the end of the world

He desperately tries to play himself up in front of his crush, specifically trying to seem more classy and sophisticated, which are two things Pickles is not. He’s the kind of guy to try to be suave and lean up against a wall and then immediately eat shit, falling to the floor.

He likes to talk around his crush but never to his crush, ya’know? Like, if they are in a room, he’ll speak all loudly to a group about how cool he is and all the things he’s done. But in a one-on-one convo, he’s literally shaking and sweating and nodding along like his brain isn’t in full panic mode (it is). Because he physically can stand how gorgeous his crush is and how obsessed he is with them.

He’ll probably try to drink more than usual to calm his nerves, but it really makes it worse. Cause now he’s a bumbling idiot who’s only talking about how ‘damn pretty’ they are and threatening to get into a fight with the bartender.

Eventually, he does calm down. And he gets to be his natural, funny and relaxed self around them. His heart still flutters, but the anxiety doesn’t consume him like it used to and he has a real conversation with his crush and it feels like he’s falling in love all over again.

Like in most situations, Pickles is kinda a wreck. But he needs time and the right amount of booze to be a pretty great guy, 6/10

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Sound the fucking alarms because this Swedish whore has himself a crush. Seriously though, the realization hits him like a fucking truck. He’s just like, wow this person is hot and I like spending time with them and they have a great personality and they’re funny and they make me feel nice and HOLY FUCK

He gets so pissed. Like, genuine anger at himself and them and everyone else in the world because something is wrong. He can’t bring himself to take it out on them, so he just always scoffs and ignores them for weeks on end. But the whole time, they’re in his head. He feels all warm and fuzzy in more places than just his dick for once.

Eventually, he stops being just a baby and gives them a weird, half-assed apology his ego is still fragile, ok?! And starts flirting. Hard. Constantly praising their body and making unsubtle sexual innuendos, it’s the only thing he really knows how to do in this situation. God forbid they giggle or flirt back, because his face is gonna turn completely red and he’ll need to excuse himself for a 10-minute freak out.

Skwisgaar just feels so many strong emotions, and these new, affectionate ones are just kicking his ass. There’s a good chance that he gives up because he just can’t handle it. But, he might just persist and slowly open up and let them in.

He’s pretty much a noob for these sorts of things. He’s a sex god, not a Prince Charming. 3/10

Toki Wartooth

Toki is actually more passive when it comes to romantic feelings than you would expect; he can accept potential love interests as friends very easily. But once someone has embedded themselves in his brain as more than just a groupie or a good friend, my man is COMPLETELY ride or die

Doesn’t make any effort to hide it either. He gets all giggly around them, biting his lip, twirling his hair, kicking his feet. He’s seriously smitten and everyone can tell, including the crush. He won’t deny it either, “Of course I’s likes them! Who wouldn’ts?”

His wooing methods are completely cheesy as well. Like, leaving a large, lovey-dovey gift basket on their doorstep or writing awful poetry for them completely in Norwegian. In fact, he’s pretty much always getting them little gifts and they’re all genuine, even the stereotypical ones.

He also gets very, very touchy. Greeting them with hugs and holding hands and even little surprise kisses. He knows that they’re not technically dating, but he still sees them as his one and only, so he already begins cementing himself as their partner.

Although, if they don’t show any interest back, he’ll stop after a week or so simply because he gets bored easily. I’m not gonna sit her and act like he doesn’t have the patience of a four-year-old.

Man goes all in with his flirting but it fizzes out very quickly. 7/10

William Murderface

I was wrong about Pickles; THIS is the ultimate disaster. Poor guy really can’t take it, he’s so flustered and anxious and a bit furious at the whole situation. William is so fueled by hatred and hostility that he can’t fathom the fact that he genuinely likes someone and craves their love. For him, it feels like he’s gonna die without them and yet he refuses to go within a foot of them.

Most of the time, he just stares at them with his angry look on his face. If they ask what’s wrong, he just mumbles and walks away. But really, he gets so excited that they talked to him, even though he immediately fucked it up.

Maybe with some time, he can find a slightly better way to deal with his intense feelings. He mostly just needs to learn to relax and have some confidence, but those are both things he has never been good at. But, if he does manage do to so and have a conversation with them…it’s still pretty bad. He’ll stutter and stumble, walking on eggshells because he knows that he has a tendency to say stupid shit.

Even if the relationship doesn’t ever go anywhere, there’s a very good chance he’ll be this nervous around them for months, possibly years. If his crush manages to get the message and starts encouraging his ‘advances’, it’ll still be a while until he’s anything less than a wreck.

Someone please help Murderface, he’s dying out here. 2/10

Btw I wrote this last night and am posting it without much proofreading so sorry if it’s awful

#dethklok #metalocalypse #polyklok is real #william murderface #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #nathan explosion #toki wartooth #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #dethklok x reader #metalocalypse x reader

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polyklok · 1 year

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How Dethklok shows their love to you

Nathan Explosion

We all know about Nathan’s tendency to hyper focus on his current interest; mans got strong feeling and he wants to let everyone know just how happy you make him. So he shows you off, every chance he gets. Especially to the paparazzi. Once he’s settled into the relationship, he’s getting all cuddly and smiley in front of the cameras, quite rare for the media to see. He calls his parents nearly every week just to brag about you, it’s so sweet.

Motherfucking Nathan Explosion. One of the biggest names in the world, certainly the biggest in music and entertainment. A man who handcrafted a revolution of lyrics and rhythm. A man the world worships and the population craves. And yet, when he’s real smitten for someone, it’s awfully easy to make him shy. Just small, flirty things will get his face beet red and stuttering over his words in an instant, so incredibly enamored with everything you do. Whisper some sweet-nothings to him and he’ll become putty in your hands.

Nathan is very…specific when it comes to most aspects in life. He’s picky and stubborn and usually has his mind set for any decisions. But, you, as his S/O, own his utmost trust. So, before the final choice is made, he makes sure to get your opinion on it. Whether it’s small things or large decisions, he wants to hear what you think and will definitely take it into consideration. You have the ability to loosen him up on some settlements, much to Charles’ thanks.

Okay, the end of season 4 was an exaggeration, but Nathan does have a difficult time admitting when he’s wrong. Apologizing just really pokes at his large yet fragile ego. But, when he finally gets rid of some pride and realizes he fucked up with you, he’ll make the effort to apologize. Even if it’s not directly, you’ll get little gifts and gestures that lets you know that he really is sorry.

Pickles The Drummer

This one’s kinda silly, but here me out; Growing up, all of Pickle’s possessions were either hand-me-downs, stolen by Seth, or taken away as punishment from his parents. He didn’t get many stuff that was his. So, as an adult who could have all the material possessions he wants, he’s become a bit greedy. Until pretty lil you came up and stole his heart from him. At that point, he’s practically forcing himself to share everything with you. Food, clothes, anything. Something about seeing you with his stuff makes him feel really good inside.

Worries about you. Hoo-boy, as much as he hates to admit it, he’s got total mom brain when it comes to anxiety. Anytime you’re five minutes late or slightly more quiet than usual, he’s darting around, thinking that he somehow messed up and you hate him and now he’s gotta fix it. Please reassure him, he’s gonna give himself an asthma attack.

Pickles, uh, doesn’t have the best memory. Probably from the constant abuse of drugs and alcohol. I don’t think the dude knows anything that happened to him from age 20 to 25. But, he wants to make the effort. So, he’ll remember the little things about you, basic likes and dislikes, something you said, etc. When he acts upon it, like buying some of your favorite food, and you get all happy about it, he’s so proud of himself. He loves making you happy.

“Punch first, ask later. Or don’t ask at all.”That’s how he lives a whole lot of his life, especially in bars or parties. MF got some agitation issues. But when you get involved? Someone looks at you even slightly wrong? They’re getting their asses beat, he’ll defend the shit out of you.

In addition to that^…He’s definitely used to getting a ton of shit from his family and he just takes it. Because they don’t really like Pickles, there’s a good chance Seth and his parents will hate you and they’ll let you know it. This is when he cracks down. He yells at them for several minutes about what a wonderful person you are, what shitty people they are, and that they can talk about him all they want but not you. Definitely scares them straight.

Toki Wartooth

Oh, man does Toki love to spoil you! The way your face lights up when he manages to get you another perfect (and expensive) gift makes his heart flutter. He’s very good at it to; buying you things you didn’t even know you wanted but always cherish. He especially likes to get you custom-made stuff, something very cheesy.

He has a bit of a hyperactive mind, without something specific to focus on, he’ll constantly be bouncing around. But, despite this, he absolutely loves to listen to you in a way he can’t with other people. While he’s putting together a model or coloring or maybe practicing guitar (once in a blue moon), he likes to have you there, just ranting while he nods along. Even if he doesn’t get all the details, the sound of your voice is enough for him.

When you’re around him, he’s pretty much always going to be touching you. Sometimes it’s small things, like holding hands, knees together under a table, occasional cheek kisses. Other times, he’s practically hanging onto you like a sloth. Additionally, he absolutely loves to scoop you up at random moments and just hold you for a while. He’s strong, he can handle it.

It’s very clear that Toki is a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to love. Even if it’s unrealistic, he will often imagine a future with you, the classic getting married, having children, growing old. A nice, suburban, and perfect lifestyle. He knows that he can’t ever get rid of his rock n roll persona, but there’s a piece of him that’s completely dedicated to simply loving you for the rest of his days.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

First of all; it’s going to take a while to establish yourself as more than just some sex to Skwisgaar. He needs to know you’re not someone trying to brag that they fucked a rockstar. Once he realizes that’s you mean something to him (and vice versa), he relaxes! He gets vulnerable, gets emotional and cuddly and more romantic than you’d expect! He no longer has to keep up the persona, you see the side of him that no one else really does.

Along with this, he’s willing to be more silly than with you! He’s got an even bigger ego than Nathan and hates to look like a fool in front of all his fans. But when he’s around you, he allows himself to make some jokes, mess up a few times and laugh about it. Seeing you laugh makes the small amount of humiliation worth it to him.

Skwisgaar has practically heard it all when it comes to compliments; he’s an international sex symbol and a music mastermind, after all. There’s nothing he hasn’t been praised for. So, he thinks it’s only natural that he compliments the hell out of you just like others do to him. From wake to sleep, he’s giving you all sorts of flattery on how you look and congratulates you on every accomplishment, no matter how small. He likes to feel proud of his darling and makes sure you know it.

Despite him having a long line of past lovers behind him, Skwisgaar gets jealous very easily. Call it a toxic trait, but he’ll flirt with anyone he sees while glaring at anyone who sees you. And his glares are proven to be lethal. Just be careful, cause he can have anyone he deems ‘too touchy’ with you assassinated with the flick of a wrist.

William Murderface

William thinks he’s soo lucky to have you in the first place, he practically worships the ground you walk on. His mind is pretty much on you every moment of the day; every dream he has at night is about you. He’s obsessed with the way you look, the way you act, he’s always staring at you with a dumb, happy smile on his face. Anything you need, he’ll make it happen for you.

I personally feel that he’s a lot smarter than he seems; particularly about history, historical weaponry, and cars. So, when he gets the chance, you get your ass he’s gonna rant to you about all the random stuff that’s up in his brain. He’s an extreme pessimist by nature, but when he’s speaking about the things he truly cares about, he’s seems so enthusiastic and energized, even more so when you actively listen and ask questions.

While Murderface certainly talks a lot, he doesn’t really…express, you know? Most of his conversations are surface-level and to the point. But when he’s comfortable with you, he likes to have deep conversations about things most people think he’s too stupid to care about. Ethics, philosophy, religion. He’s no expert, but everyone has their own beliefs. He wants to share his and to hear yours. Sometimes, he gets really into it, occasionally crying. These moments are important to him and he loves to be with you during them.

Let’s admit it; William isn’t conventionally handsome in anyway. A good reason for that is because he simply doesn’t care or have the patience for proper hygiene. Still, he wants to really impress you, so he starts taking care of himself more. He gets some better products, puts a little more thought into how he dresses, even eats slightly better. It’s not a big difference, but it’s something and it’s noticeable over time.

Bonus^ If you have a skincare routine, he’s going to be right next to you, mesmerized by all the creams and serums and cleansers. Even better if you apply some to him, he gets so soft.

#dethklok #metalocalypse #polyklok is real #william murderface #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #toki wartooth #skwisgaar skwigelf #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #dethklok x reader #polyklok #murderface x reader #Nathan explosion x reader #pickles x reader #toki x reader #Skwisgaar x reader

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polyklok · 3 months

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Thank you @hopedope for sending me this lovely request in a very nice manner! I’m sorry it took me like damn near a year to get it done 😅

Doing Pickles’ Makeup

“C’mon, pleeeeaaassseeee?”

Pickles raised his eyes to you, slightly amused by your begging and more-than-slightly annoyed by your persistence. It was impressive, though. You had caught him at a particularly vulnerable moment of looking through naked lady fan mail and he was in a good mood. With your hard work and determination, you whittled down his several ‘No’s to a ‘Maybe’ and now, finally, a-

“I’ll think aboot it.”

“What’s there to think about? Just lemme take a crack at it!”

You had found an old magazine, of which Snakes ‘N Barrels headlined on. From that, a pretty close-up of Pickles’ glamor days, in which he was smothered in smokey purple eyeshadow and cherry red lipgloss. He doesn’t even know why that magazine was in Mordhaus in the first place. You somehow got it in your head that you needed to see an updated version of his dolled-up look.

He shuffled through a few more letters, no longer taking the time to admire the detailed shots of many-a titties. You leaned forward even more, keeping an eager stare. Damn your puppy-dog eyes.

“Fine. But I’m nat keepin’ it on all damn day.”

A mischievous grin spread across your face. He hated how adorable your evil ass could be.

At the very least, it was relaxing. He insisted the two of you had taken the activity to his room, he did not need anymore comments from his bandmates about how gay his makeup was. You straddled him on his bed, dipping the brush onto the makeup pallet by his head and spreading it across his closed eyelids. He shivered every time your warm breath puffed against his now-highlighted cheeks, fingers gripping harder onto your thighs he was allowed to hold as an added bonus for his troubles.

“M’gonna add shimmer,” You muttered, more so to yourself than him.

“No. Anything but the sparkles.” He said in a flat tone, mocking his earlier reluctance. Although he couldn’t see it, he swore he heard your lips spread into another smile. Maybe he’d let you do his makeup again if it made you this happy. Maybe.

His eyes felt heavier and heavier every time that brush glided against them again. He couldn’t tell if you were adding an ungodly amount of product or if he was just getting sleepy from it. His head sunk deeper into the mattress. He can’t remember why he was so reluctant in the first place. Having you on top of him while he got to practically nap rocked.

“Open your eyes,” You said, softly, ruining the comfortable moment.

“Don’t wanna,” He replied, just as soft.

“Pickles.” Oh shit. He knew not to defy that kind of tone. His eyes immediately shot open, wincing slightly at the sudden light flooding his vision. While you shuffled through your makeup bag, he admired the point of view he had, letting his hands linger up to your waist.

“Here.” You brought out a recognizable tube. Pickles grimaced. Even way back then, this was by far his least part of the process. You popped the mascara out and leaned in even closer than before, placing those little bristles right in his eye line.

“Blink.”

He did so and immediately regretted it. It was so weird to have his eyelashes, a teensy body part he hardly ever noticed on himself, to suddenly be covered in thick goop. But he didn’t fight it, blinking thrice for each eye and pushing down the strong urge to rub it all out. You blew gently on his new lashes, drying them into a thick, heavy fan.

“Yuck,” He mumbled, trying not to let you hear. If you did, you ignored it, simply assuring him that you were almost done.

“You want red, pink, or black lips?” You asked, shimmying down his legs so he could sit up properly.

“Dealer’s choice. I trust ya.”

You chose the black, which was really more of a super dark blue with a pearly sheen. He rested his jaw in your hand, holding his mouth limp to give you the perfect canvas to spread the lipstick on. Just as you were finishing his bottom lip, savoring the intimate moment-

“PICKLES! Toki and Skw-Woah. What the hell?” Nathan kicked open the door, apparently needing to tell Pickles some absolutely essential information, only to find you sitting in his lap and applying fucking makeup to him.

“Jesus fuckin- Nate’n, I told you to start fackin knockin, man!” Pickles turned his head so violently, the black smeared across his cheek in an ugly streak. You frowned, there goes your hard work.

“Pickles is getting his fucking makeup done!” Nathan yelled down the hall.

“Scheriously?!”

“Ha! Dat ams so gay!”

The rest of his bandmates could be heard not too far away. Pickles groaned, “Get the HELL outta here, dood!” He grabbed an empty beer bottle from his nightstand and flung it at the doorframe, shattering it.

“What’re you trying to relive the nineties or something? Gonna go back to your old band?” Nathan was clearly digging into his irritations, playfully enjoying how pissed off Pickles was getting.

“I think he looks hot,” You said matter-of-factly, hugging his head and pressing it against your chest. Pickles went slightly red with the affection, frantically waving his hands to get Nathan to fuck off. Nathan, luckily, understood the signal and promptly shut the door right before the rest of the band could get their mockery in.

“D’ose fuckin’ guys,” Pickles mumbled against you, one again relaxing into your touch, “You really like how I look like this?”

You pulled back, examining his face. His eyeshadow primarily black, blending into a very shimmery gold color. His highlighter was a similar gold and, despite the smudge, his lips looks good enough to kiss. So you did. “You always look good. Just especially now.”

“Don’t give yerself too much credit,” He teased with a smile, dragging you down with him in a tight squeeze. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he loved being fawned over whilst the two of you cuddled into oblivion.

#metalocalypse #dethklok #metalocalypse x reader #request filled #polyklok is real #pickles the drummer #metalocalypse pickles #nathan explosion #metalocalypse nathan #pickles the drummer x reader #pickles x reader #Metalocalypse fanfic

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polyklok · 3 months

Note

Omg omg i love your writing!!! No words can describe how much I love it!

Imagine muderface with a s/o or crush that says the weirdest stuff, like some stuff that they have been through. It is so random! Like those tik toks that say "the Egyptians believed the most significant thing you could do is die" in the most randomest of situations.

Like imagine just chilling out doing nothing and y/n looks over at muderface and says "would a zombie apocalypse be a formal event? Like your buried in your best clothes?"

It woukd very so cool if you could write something for this but if you don't want to that's cool!

Just wanted to share my thoughts. No one I know watches Metalocalypse.

Thank you!!!

Have a wonderful day or night!!

(I didn't really check my grammar or spelling that well, I am sorry)

Murderface with an S/O that says ~random~ things!

“The color is actually named after the fruit.”

You baffle him daily. He never asked to be spoonfed random trivia, shower thoughts, or absurd hypothetical questions. And yet, here he was, eating it all up.

When William was first met with your verbal hijinks, he was just so, so confused. Why did you know this? Why were you telling him this?

“What?”

“Orange. Like, people just described the color as yellow-red or something before the orange fruit was spread around Europe and they got a new word for it. The color is named after the fruit.”

“…Okay???”

For a while, he thought you were trying to give him clues about something. He was just extremely suspicious of you. Like, surely there had to be a reason behind it, right? Well, no, and he soon just found it was a quirk of yours.

He was always told to shut up whenever he tried to pipe in or had an interesting fact to share, so you defying one of the fundamental rules of his life is a bit jarring.

As he grows closer and more comfortable to you, he gets used to your pondering and even begins to consider them. Maybe you have a point?

“What’s the minimum amount of ducks do you think it would take to fully kill an adult rhino?”

“I don’t fuchkin’ know. Probably a schit ton.”

“I bet, like, five. They’d just swarm him.”

“You are scho wrong. He’d schtomp them all to a pashte.”

Well now he’s gonna stay awake all night thinking about it. He can’t decide if you’re the stupidest person he’s ever met or the smartest. Either way, he gets a little flustered when facing the seemingly infinite expanse of your mind.

After a while, he begins to pick up your habit. In his own Murderface-way, of course. He had a pretty obvious interest in things like car mechanics and war history, but now he’s more willing to share all of what he knows with you. He’s really excited that someone finally seems interested in what he has to say, no matter how meaningless it is.

And once that door is open, he becomes more willing to open up on a deeper level. Even though he’s a dumbass, he does have a depth of intelligence, even if he isn’t great at articulating it. Be patient and you’ll get some fascinating conversation from him.

“Even if there isch a God…like, what the fuck, man?! You juscht gonna leave us all down here to suffer and schit? I might as well ignore you juscht to schpite you! What a dick move.”

William never realized how valuable it was to him just to be listened to. Simply talking to you slowly becomes one of the better parts of his day, everyday.

It takes a lot for Murderface to love and it takes even more to love him back. But the effort is well worth it with these types of riveting discussions;

“You have to fight a bug that’s 100 times its original size and you get one weapon from the medieval era. What is your bug and what’s your weapon?”

“Easchy. Butterfly, Croschbow. One arrow for each wing. Instant win.”

#polyklok is real #metalocalypse #dethklok #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #william murderface #metalocalypse x reader #request filled #metalocalypse murderface #murderface x reader #william murderface x reader #i love you murderface but writing your speech is murder

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polyklok · 11 months

Note

nate might have really intense kinks but he is a MASTER of aftercare.

if you’re a groupie and/or one night stand, he’ll still tend to your injuries albeit hastily as he doesn’t want you to spread rumors that ruin his “grrr scary tough guy” image and out him as an actually good person. he’s a bit weird about it, doing it silently while pushing and grabbing you in all the places you’ve been hurt, but he isn’t rough—not nearly as rough as he was. if you make a sound out of pain he’ll stop and look at you before returning to the injury with an even gentler hand.

if you’re his partner though, god he will not let go of you for a second. he loves cuddling after sex—especially if it was rough—to make sure you know he still cares about and loves you. he’ll quietly ask if you’re okay while he runs his hand down your thigh or back. if you’re injured, he’ll honestly feel pretty bad if you can believe it (post-nut clarity) and will jump at the chance to take care of you. he needs a bit of reassuring on occasion; let him know you aren’t afraid of him or angry with him for what you two did. remind him that it was consensual and you had fun. he’ll gently kiss your forehead and start to get dressed.

sorry i’m fucking gay

Bro, I AGREE, you don’t need to TELL ME-

LOOK AT HIM

Btw I’m writing this since I love this but idk what do with it-

Aftercare W/Nathan Explosion!

Nathan rolls over, taking his weight and warmth off of you. Only when the cold air hits do you finally realize how hot your own face is. You stare at his ceiling, blinking away tears from your blurry vision, a mellow sense of pleasure still swishing in between your thighs; it’s wonderful. You try to take some deep breaths but only let out pitiful whimpers. You’re still shaking, still caught up in his powerful motions that now only ghost over your body. You can feel Nathan beside you, breathing out his own grunts. The entire room has a strong scent of sex.

You’re unsure how long you’re laying there next to him, could’ve been a few seconds, a few minutes, lots of minutes. But at some point your body years for warmth again. As soon as your shakes are replaced with shivers, he somehow knows and pulls himself up to encase you. Big mistake. Once he moves your body even an inch closer to his, it becomes horribly clear just rough he had been. All the cuts, scratches, bruises, bite marks, and sore spots begin to scream on your skin. You moan, in agony rather than bliss, as your body is consumed with aching and stabbing. You begin to weep again. The pain alone, you could’ve handled, but the sense of pleasure and love fighting pain and embarrassment overwhelms you to tears.

Nathan cringes. Just moments ago, it was so lovely to torture you whilst you lay underneath him, screaming his name. But the aftermath was nothing short of hell and he couldn’t stand to see you go through it. Of course, it wasn’t entirely Nathan’s fault, you had begged him to ruin you and he had happily obliged. The two of you have always had your moments of…cruelty in the bedroom, but never before had it been so much and all at once. Tonight became particularly passionate and therefore particularly harmful to your anatomy, and now the consequences were reaching you. You were bleeding in random places. Bright hickeys and bruises were beginning to form all over. Your throat was strained from all the noises you made. Your legs wanted to die. Tomorrow, the pain would be even worse.

“I’m sorry,” he grumbled, running his hands over you, light as a feather, “I’m so sorry.” God, his voice was addictive.

You tried to forgive him, but your words tangled in your mind and refused to leave your throat. You moved a hand up to brush over his scalp. He understood the sentiment. Still, he began to kiss every single mark he made that was visible on your body, and there were plenty. His lips sent your mind into fuzziness. The rough pads of his fingertips gently danced over your thighs, caressing your bruises oh-so-lightly before a warm kiss took over. Your face buried into the pillow, letting him heal the wounds he had created. It was wonderful, he was wonderful.

“Love you,” He grumbled, mouth pressed again your flesh. The vibration of his rich voice gave you goosebumps. His tongue slipped over a patch of dried blood on your hip, where he had used the most beautiful blade to slice you open. He had never been shy about blood, in fact, he seemed to thrive in it, as he now made a guttural sound from tasting yours.

You whispered, all you could manage, “I love you, too.” You had stopped crying, luckily. Now you basked in warmth and tried to soothe your throbbing head.

He stared up through his dark lashes, mouth still attached to you. As much as he hated to see you in pain, this moment of vulnerability made his heart melt in ways that he could only describe in the lyrics. He pities the past Nathan, who still destroyed you all the same and yet refused to show such courtesy to fix you back up. It was once minimal, hasty, even harsh the way he seemed to be so eager to be over with you. Never again. Now, he was willingly addicted to your touch and drowned in the way you felt underneath him as he slowly treated you with all the compassion he could muster.

Nathan loved to fuck, torture, violate you until you were a mindless mess for him. But, just as much, he learned to nature and cherish the wonderful body that you so kindly submitted to him.

#polyklok is real #metalocalypse #dethklok #metalocalypse x reader #request filled #tw bloodplay #tw wounds #nathan explosion #metalocalypse nathan #nathan explosion x reader #dethklok x reader

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polyklok · 8 months

Text

Thinking about him 😔

I WISH BRO 😭

#polyklok is real #metalocalypse #dethklok #skwisgaar skwigelf #not my picture but I saw it while driving and I immediately thought of my boy #pls let me spoon the Swede

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polyklok · 7 months

Note

Hi! What's your HC for how each band member (and Charles too, if you can) would be like on their wedding day?

Ohmygosh I am such a sap, I’m having way too much fun with this prompt and I haven’t even started writing yet!

The Wedding Day

Nathan Explosion

Leading up to the day, Nathan becomes more and more of a nervous wreck. He’s terrified of something going wrong, the day being completely ruined and you leaving him forever because of it. No matter how much you reassure him that you plan to marry him no matter what, he is dead set on making sure that the wedding will be perfect and that you’ll have the best day of your life. While metal and brutality are what he strives for most, he also has a sense of traditionalism that seeps into the wedding plans. He talks to his parents a lot during the whole process.

The morning of, he wakes up and is suddenly calm about the whole ordeal. His chest is bubbling with giddiness and he has a small smile that he can’t wipe off of his face as he begins to get ready. He’s excited to see you, to say his vows and to hear yours and put rings on each others fingers and become officially married. The word sounds really good to him.

Dethklok are his groomsmen, with Pickles as his best man. You’ve already been in their favor for a long time, so they’re equally excited on Nathan’s behalf. The dressing room is loud and crowded, but he lets the chaos roll off his back as he thinks about spending the rest of his life with you.

Eventually, he’s suited up and the guests have poured in. Shortly before the ceremony, he’s with his dad, who is making small adjustments to Nathan’s appearance and pumping him up for finalizing the greatest decision he’ll ever make.

“Ready, son? This is it.”

“Fuck yeah.”

The ceremony is fairly large; Klokateers line the walls, he’s facing all the friends and family that could’ve possibly been invited, his bandmates are behind him. But he’s only wanting to see you. He can’t possibly take much longer, he feels like the butterflies are gonna rip out of his gut and start devouring the guests. Suddenly, music starts playing, and he laser-focuses on the aisle.

You’re gorgeous. Everything about you; perfect. You’re glowing from the inside-out. Nathan doesn’t even notice the hot tears that begin to stream down his face, he’s entranced. As soon as you reach him, he takes your hand into his and squeezes them like he’ll never let go. His lips move like he wants to say something, but he simply cannot find the words to describe how brutally in-love he is. His head is dizzy with happiness.

He doesn’t even hear what the officiant is saying. When the time for vows come he just…shakes his head, keeping eye contact with you. You giggle, the guests chuckle. Don’t worry, you’ll get to see what he had planned to say later, and it’s very sweet. But Nathan can’t bring himself to say a whole speech right now. He just wants to kiss you.

And, boy, does he kiss you! Nathan’s kiss is hot and passionate and you feel like you would fall off the edge of the world if it weren’t for his right grasp. Nathan feels a lot of intense emotions, many of which he keeps bottled up. But when he kisses you on your wedding day, you can suddenly feel all of them and it’s wonderful.

After the ceremony, Nathan is thrilled to be married to you, it’s adorable. He does his best to compress it down for pictures, purely for image’s sake (these are the photos that are gonna be shared publicly, after all). In most photos, he holding you with his signature pissed-off expression. But there’s a few with a glimpse of his eager smile.

After photos? He’s completely loose. Nathan is an absolute goofball when in the right mood, and being married to the person he loves most definitely does the trick. He stuffs his face, drinks a drink or three, laughs loudly at Pickles’ best man speech, and doesn’t even complain when his parents embarrass the hell out of him.

The dance you two share is a bit clumsy, his feet taking random steps as he presses his forehead into yours. You both incomprehensibly compliment each other and exchange various, “I love you”s. But none of it needs to be said; Staring in each other’s eyes like this already makes it the best day of your life.

Soon after the height of the party, Nathan gives a half-assed goodbye to his band and his parents in order to drag you to the limo that’s already waiting outside, getting an early start on your honeymoon.

Pickles the Drummer

I’ll be honest; Pickles is not sure if this whole thing was ever a good idea. His proposal was last-minute and completely unplanned. He is constantly changing his mind, keeping you on edge. One minute, he’s infatuated with the idea of holy matrimony. The next, he’s saying he just wants to get hitched in Vegas. The next, he‘s calling the whole thing off. He knows that he loves you and he wants you to be happy but…it’s a big commitment. Especially for someone like Pickles. Please be patient with him.

But the date, despite the pushbacks, finally arrives. He hardly sleeps the night before. He convinces you to stay with him until the last minute, afraid he’s gonna scare himself into running off. He lays in bed for a solid hour after waking up, just letting your sleeping form cling to him. He desperately wants a drink and he hates himself for it. The only thing keeping him from spiraling is your warm weight and the pace of your breathing.

The morning is slow and heavy as the two of you get ready. You ask him a few times if he’s okay and he always says “Yeh, ‘m gud” despite the look on his face; scared and unfocused. You don’t push it. Instead, you give him a kiss on the cheek before you leave to get into your outfit.

Despite the coaxing from you and Dethklok and even Charles; Pickles had invited his family, at the very last second he possibly could have. And they show up pissed. His father is silently judgmental, his mother is nagging, and his brother is all kinds of rude. The ceremony hasn’t even started but they’re already on his ass about everything they can think of. He’s nauseous with anxiety, desperately trying to block out their voices. Nathan has to drag them away when Seth makes on a comment on you, seeing how Pickles was one second away from beating the shit out of him again.

So his wedding starts with Pickles in a miserable mood. He just wants the day to be over. He’s at the altar, avoiding eye contact with his mom and sweating bullets. When you do finally make your way down the aisle, he gives you a small smile. He feels guilty for being so overwhelmed with dread rather than happiness. At the very least, he does think you look amazing, even if it’s hard to tell beneath his unease.

You can see him shaking, trying hard to not hyperventilate. When the officiant asks if anyone objects, he squeezes your hands and his eyes dart over to his family. Luckily, they stay silent. And so, you’re married. Once Pickles kisses you, there a small moment where he’s calm again. He’s attached to you by the lips, the warm sensation of love pouring over him, the same love that made him propose in the first place.

Until it ends. He suddenly hears the cheering, realizes that the two of you are surrounded by people and he immediately looks to his parents, mortified by their unimpressed faces. You take his hand with you, back down the aisle as he stutters an apology for looking like an idiot.

But you don’t go back to the dressing room. Instead, you drag him right out of the venue and push him into a car.

“Wha’dder doin, babe?”

“Getting you outta here.”

You ditch the wedding. You’re already married, there’s no point in staying there just so he can stew in his anxiety. For a few moments of the car ride, he still afraid that you’re mad at him for not being more enthusiastic about the ceremony. But he eventually relaxes and thanks you, at ease for the first time in weeks. Later, there will be a huge freak out and Charles will berate you for leaving so suddenly. But right now, you pick up some fast food and hit up a random park. The two of you take some edibles he conveniently had in his suit pocket and spend the rest of the night eating and cuddling under the moonlight.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

The day Skwisgaar proposed to you was magical. It was romantic, it was beautiful, he was vulnerable and extremely sweet. After? Nothing. He was still your Skwisgaar, affectionate with you and ever-so-slightly teasing. There were no changes to him. But he had practically no involvement in the wedding planning, never even brought it up. When you asked for his input on something, he always told you do to do what you want. Even on inviting his mother;

“If you thinks she shoulds be theres.”

The only thing he actively contributed was picking his clean, white suit, which Charles had to nag him into doing last minute. The night before, you asked if he even wanted to do it at all, since he was so aloof about it. He gave you a simple,

“Ofs course I does.”

The day comes. Skwisgaar wakes up with a heavy weight on his chest. He really does want to marry you. He’s changed a lot about himself and his lifestyle in order to be committed to you, and he is happy about it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, better than the thousands of groupies he used to occupy himself with. But the word ‘Husband’ used to be something to mock in his eyes, a lame dildo who’s given up in life and probably isn’t even happy. But that’s about to be him, your husband. He isn’t upset, but it’s a strange thing to become someone you once despised.

So, as he gets ready and as his groomsmen tease him mercilessly for his dedication to you, he’s quiet and neutral. Even for Dethklok, it’s hard to tell what he’s feeling at he moment, but he shows no signs of backing out, so they continue on.

Once he’s in position, Skwisgaar sees what you’ve been working on for the past several months. And it’s gorgeous, you did a wonderful job. The guest list was very minimal, a detail he greatly appreciates. He briefly scans over them, but stops once he spots blonde hair the same color as his own. Then, he focuses on the aisle, waiting for you, keeping his head clear from the awful clouds of thoughts that he doesn’t want to hear right now.

You walk down, the two of you make hard, intimate eye contact. His first thought is that you are the most beautiful anyone has ever been, especially for him, and he can’t believe you’re real. His second thought is how wonderful you’d look if all the clothing were to be removed. His third thought is praying that the intense ache on his eyes don’t spill over into tears.

He says his vows quietly, speaking to you in a hushed tone. He couldn’t care less about the small crowd watching him as his life permanently changes, he prefers if they didn’t hear him anyway. This is for you and him exclusively. And when he kisses you…

Skwisgaar has a horrible tendency to always leave you wanting for more. He’s an absolutely addictive kisser and it’s completely unfair to you. Your wedding kiss is no different. He gives a light chuckle when you follow his lips as he pulls away. He decides to keep the gesture quite conservative for now. Don’t worry, you’ll get plenty more later.

From then on, he’s attached to you. He doesn’t leave your side for a second, completely ignoring the guests just to stare at you with a refreshing, loving gaze in his eyes. While drinking champagne, cutting the cake, listening to speeches; you’re the only thing occupying his world that day.

He says very little until your first dance, in which he thanks you for all the work you put in. But really, he would’ve been happy next to a dumpster. He leans his close, lips grazing your ear, and whispers exactly how he’s going to thank you later when the two of you are alone. Even as your husband, Skwisgaar is a man of seduction and absolute tease.

Toki Wartooth

He bought a ring, like, a month into seeing you and had to be tied down by Charles just so he wouldn’t immediately propose. Toki LOVES the idea of marriage and goes to ask you as soon as his manager is sure that you won’t accidentally tear apart the band. There are no words to describe how absolutely giddy he is to be your husband, he counts down the days every single morning.

Unfortunately, he’s sort of awful at planning. He has so many ideas that are a messy collision of traditional, brutal, and decora aesthetics and he’s constantly spouting them off to you. It’s gonna take a while to find some balance so your wedding doesn’t immediately cause a seizure to anyone in the vicinity. The day before, he gives you hundreds of kisses, squealing and giggling about how happy he is and how wonderful it’s all going to be.

The two of you separate that night, wanting to get ready individually so you can do a ‘first-look’ before the ceremony. Unfortunately, it has been a very long time before Toki has had to sleep in a bed without you and he is forced to remember how cold it can be. He barely sleeps, staring at the ceiling, desperately missing you as his heart pounds with anticipation to marry you.

Turns out, not sleeping before your wedding day isn’t a great idea. The entire morning, he’s sporadically dozing off, needing to be herded around by Dethklok so he can get ready. The whole day is spent with him either smiling like a huge goofball or half-asleep as he showers, eats breakfast, gets his hair done, and suits up.

At some point, he hears that his parent/s didn’t actually show up, despite being invited. His chest buzzes with the usual strange feelings he gets whenever talking about his family, but he pushes foreword. Never was there a groom so determined.

As he waits at the alter, he’s bouncing on his heels, fidgeting with his hands, grinning so hard his face hurts. He’s dreamed about his wedding day for years and years, in love with his soon-to-be spouse before he even met you, and the best moment of his life is mere seconds away from happening. What would happen next, after his happily-ever-after? He doesn’t know, but he’s happy to spend it with you.

And here you come. The music plays, you walk down the aisle…Toki is easily prone to sobbing, but he has never ‘happy-cried’ until this moment. It’s almost concerning, how shaky he is with pure, unfiltered joy. The last thing you need is for your husband to spontaneously combust.

While Toki had put a lot of thought and effort into writing his vows, they’re practically out the window. He slips in a few preplanned lines, but he mostly rambles about how glorious being in love is and how wonderful you are, slipping between Norwegian and English and laughing at himself the whole way through. It’s a messy speech, but it’s one full of passion.

He kisses you a minimum of three times, each more lovely than the last as your guests clap and cheer. You’re lifted and twirled all the way to the car meant to take you to the reception, squeezed into the back seat as he attacks you with affection.

At this point, Toki had been running on adrenaline and very short power-naps the entire day. He’s still flooded with delight to finally, officially, be yours but he has never been one to run well on sleep deprivation. His head slowly leans into your collarbone, humming through his comfortable smile and looking up at you lovingly with half-shut eyes.

“Toki, are you alright?”

“Pers-fect.”

He yawns through his words, half-heartedly insisting that he can enjoy the rest of the evening just fine but not objecting when you tell the driver to just head to the hotel and tell Charles about the change of plans. It’s not long before the both of you are passed out and tangled within each other, your outfits only half-removed before the sun has even set.

William Murderface

William had never thought he’d get married. At some points, he thought that love was simply not for him, that he was forever to be unwanted. But even has you entered his life, took over his heart and made him realize that he was worth something…it still never crossed his mind. It seemed like something that cliché assholes do just to prove a point. It took a lot of work from the both of you for him to truly believe that you cared; what did a dumb certificate have to prove after all this time?

Several years into your relationship, and the two of you have fallen into a comfy routine, both brutally thrilling and cozily domestic. He’s not only in love, but living in long-term happiness. It’s bliss. Until, at some social event that he was only attending out of requirement, some random dildo insists that it’s really about the time you two get married.

You laugh it off and Murderface promptly tells the guy to suck his dick, mostly out of instinct. But later, when you’ve practically forgotten, the concept is still on William’s mind. Was it about that time? Would two little rings really transform his relationship, one of the greatest things to ever happen to him, to something more sacred? Did you want to? You seemed to brush it away so easily earlier…would you not be willing to marry him?

You notice his behavior change over the course of a few days, clearly pondering something deeply but unwilling to tell you what. It isn’t until a very late night, when you’re already in bed with him, eyes closed and brain only half-on;

“Would you wanna get married?”

“What?”

“To me. If I aschked, would you schay yesch and marry me?”

“Sure, Hun. I’ll marry you.”

Two weeks later, he is stationed in the middle of Mordhaus’ living room, wearing clothes that are only slightly nicer than his usual.

Pickles, once again, asks him if he’s only doing this to prove some dumb point. William, once again, tells Pickles to fuck off. Nathan, as his best man, pokes him in the back and says he could’ve made the ceremony a bit nicer at the very least. William insists that the both of you liked this way best.

Skwisgaar is lounged on the couch, guitar in lap as he begins to strum the first song that comes to mind. Toki enters and haphazardly throws around some rice he recently hijacked from the kitchen. You follow, also in slightly-nicer-clothing, and holding one of Murderface’s many knives rather than a bouquet. The smile on your face is the brightest he’s ever seen and everything feels right to him.

Charles reads from a document he had just printed out that morning. With you looking into his eyes at this very moment, William is baffled at how he could’ve possibly waited this long to do the bare minimum of marrying you. Because he wouldn’t want it any other way. With Charles’ short, law-required speech done, he declares the two of you a wedded couple.

The kiss is intense, wrapped fully into each other as the commitment is finalized. There’s a brief amount of clapping from Dethklok and the surrounding Klokateers, but the celebrations last less than an hour before you and Murderface are shoved onto a plane for your honeymoon.

The first few days in Las Vegas are a blur of alcohol, drugs, gambling, and intense sex. The next few days are spent with long, romantic moments, intimate conversations, sensual cuddling and…still lots of sex. William practically melts every time you acknowledge him as your new husband.

It was rushed, it was messy, it resulted in rice being vacuumed out of the living room carpet for months and the biggest blackout of your life…but your wedding day was nothing short of perfect.

Bonus: Charles

I’m doing a rush job of this because I’m still not 100% sold on his businussy

I think you would originally get married in bare-minimal circumstances, probably for potential tax benefits or political reasons. Either way, he slips a plain band ring on your finger and gives you a brief kiss. It’s less than a romantic gesture and more like a business deal.

Later on, as the two of you grew closer than he has with anybody else, he realizes just how improper your official wedding really was. So he conducts that a proper one be planned. It’s much more extravagant and he splurges to make sure you get everything you want.

That’s all I have to say about that it is 3 Am I am so sorry offdensen simps love you

129 notes · View notes

polyklok · 10 months

Text

Nathan Explosion full Alphabets

Pickles

Skwisgaar

Toki

Murderface

If you’re unaware, I did an headcanon request thing using these two alphabets

It got a bit more popular than I expected and my askbox got flooded. I loved doing it! But I ended up cramming a lot in a short amount of time, so I’m just gonna finish off the alphabets for every Dethklok member. It might take awhile. If you’re getting impatient waiting to see what I said about your favorite boy, you can look up the tag “Polyklok is real” to find all my posts including the previous headcanon requests.

Anywho-

Fluff

A for Affection-

Slightly more affectionate than you’d expect! Nathan isn’t one to show a lot of emotions or vulnerability at first. There's a good chance that you're just a fun piece of eye candy to him. He might have an arm around you when in public, but things like cuddling are reserved for after sex and after sex only.

As he starts to open up, he becomes more and more addicted to your soft touches and gentle holds. He leans into you whenever you are vaguely close to him, nuzzling his face into your neck and letting his hands settle on your hips or waist. Soon, it becomes mandatory for him to be attached to you whenever you're in the same room. Especially whilst cuddling, he is not letting go. Will carry you to the bathroom if needed, just to continue feeling your warmth.

B for Best friend-

It’s sort of stressful. Not because of Nathan specifically, but because it’s fucking Dethklok. You’re going to need to live a very private life when you’re associated with them, unless you want to be stalked and harassed daily by overly-obsessive fans. And that’s if you can even get any of them to engage with you in the first place, which is a task within itself.

IF you somehow manage to pull off the impossible, Nathan is a pretty silly dude. If he already likes you, it’s fairly easy to make him relax and laugh with you. Most of the time, the two of you will be drinking and making fun of dumb stuff until early in the morning. But he’s never gonna really open up to you. If you try to get into his personal life or mental health, he’s just gonna straight up cut you off permanently. You’re luckily you weren’t killed by Klokateers.

C for Cuddles-

Once he's settled into the relationship and comes to terms about his more unbrutal feelings for you, he quickly becomes comfortable with regular, sappy couples things like cuddling. Very comfortable.

You know those dogs who are big but think they are small? He's kinda like that. If you're lucky, he'll scoop you up first and hold you against him. If you're unlucky, he's too tired to think of such a gesture and will straight up collapse on you. While 'Death by Nathan Explosion' may seem good in theory, the truth is that you have to stick around for him, which means you can't come to peace with suffocating in his phat tits. I'm sorry. If he does lay on top of you, it's gonna have to be across your legs while you scratch his scalp; his favorite way to cuddle BTW.

D for Domestic-

Nathan is a little complicated.

On one hand, he grew up among perfect domesticity. A nice, middle-class suburban neighborhood with a hardworking Dad and a stay-at-home Mom who loved each other and him very much. He often helped his Mom with chores around the house, went fishing and hunting with his Dad, even spent time on the farm with his grandpa. Everyone was happy and life was simple. Even today, when Nathan pictures the 'perfect lifestyle', he imagines a friendly community and being a part of a couple as loving as his parents are.

But then again, he wasn't ‘happy’. He despised the white-picket fences, and gossipy neighbors, and (gag) public school. He spent his early life trying to get as far away from that as possible. He lives to buy stupidly expensive shit, destroy it in the most violent way possible, fill his nights with drugs and booze, tour around the world singing about death and destruction, be worshipped by hundreds of hot girls only to watch their faces fall as he returns to you, and then have you screaming in his bed before the sun rises. Nathan wants chaos.

Eventually, you'll find balance. He realizes he create his own version of the American dream, with you by his side as his perfect partner, his equal. He'll still be apart of Dethklok, still live in Mordhaus, still write the most disgustingly graphic songs you can think of. But he now lives day-to-day craving his morning kiss, setting aside time to have a lunch date with you, sharing a few beers rather than getting shitfaced. Nathan learns to settle down in a way that makes both sides of him happy.

E for Ending-

Aw man :/

If it’s early in the relationship, he just straight up ghosts you. He feels bad for doing it but he’s too much of a coward to do anything else. It’s probably because he realized he didn’t like you that much, you couldn’t keep up with his lifestyle, or he was simply being a horny bastard and pining after others. I love him, but he’s still a rich, sheltered douchebag.

If it’s later on…he has a really hard time coming to terms. It’s gonna have to be a mutual decision, otherwise your both gonna be stuck in a miserable relationship. Maybe he realizes that his lifestyle is unfit for long term relationships, maybe you realize that you don’t suit him as well as you used to. He’s gonna make his explanation, hear out yours, hug you goodbye, and even provide some money to help you get by. But he’s not gonna talk to you again. His heart is too tender for that.

Potentially, if you really did mean a lot to him and changed him in ways he’s now grateful for, he’ll write a brutal song for you with secretly sappy and thankful lyrics. Then you get the satisfaction of knowing that you left on the best possible terms.

F for Fiancé-

For a long time, Nathan didn’t think he ever wanted to get married. It’s just didn’t fit his image. The idea of Nathan Explosion ever being a part of a celebration for holy matrimony? No way.

But when you started to sneak your way into his heart, marriage suddenly seemed like a wonderful possibility rather than a stupid consequence of the world. He tried to fight against it, which only made the urge worse. A pair of sparkling rings, wedding bells, flowers, you in absolutely beautiful outfit- all kept haunting his mind until it felt like he was going mad. He seriously considered dropping to one knee every time you smiled or laughed.

One day, you’re randomly swooped off to Georgia, on the ranch which is parents moved after Florida went to shit due to his political pursuit (we don’t talk about that). It’s the first time you formally meet them both but they’re already so glad to meet you; Nathan has said a lot over the phone and they know you make him happy. One night, during the visit, Nathan goes outside with his father, just the two of them. He asks his Dad when he knew he wanted to marry his Mom. They have a long talk about commitment, patience, love and life. That’s when he makes up his mind.

He proposes a week later and only cries a little when you say yes.

G for Gentle-

Nathan is huge. I don’t care how tall or wide you are, he’s bigger. And as much as he loves the size difference, his brain doesn’t really register that fact fully. He’ll squeeze with realizing he’s crushing you, wrap himself around you until you overheat, and occasionally fully consume you in his cuddles, as I’ve said before. It’s rare that he actually hurts you, it’s more annoying than anything. Just mention it and he’ll let up immediately with a small “Sorry.”

It’s similar in the emotional department. He's very blunt and, while he means well, it can cause some hiccups in your communication. He's never malicious but he often forgets to filter himself or add cushioning to his words, which might caused some hurt feelings. If it's a heated moment, he'll straight up walk away to give himself some time to breathe, think, reevaluate, and then go apologize to you so a solution can be figured out.

H for Hugs-

For a while, you thought Nathan hated hugs. And he sort of did. He never initiated them. He saw a full-body, front-facing hug as a way to greet his parents and...not much else. He also thought having to ask for a hug was embarrassing. Early on, if he's feeling touchy, he'll settle for groping at or leaning into you.

But he came around very quickly as soon as you fully embraced him. Just 30 seconds of your arms completely wrapped around him has him addicted and now he initiates them whenever you have a few passing minutes of free time. Still doesn’t like asking for them, though, he just does it and it’ll sometimes scares you.

I for I Love You-

If you say it to him, he’ll do the whole “I mrgghmrhyou too” thing. It’s gonna be a while until he completes the sentence, he’s stubborn. He’s knows he loves you and he knows that you know that he loves you but the words just seem so big, too big for him to say out loud.

But they’re not too big for Drunk Nathan! You’re helping him into bed after he’s had a long night filled with booze, swatting away his wandering hands from your body. You tug away his boots and jeans so he’s not too uncomfortable while he sleeps. “Thanks babe,” He mutters, head buried in a pillow, “I love you. So fucking much.” You pause, surprised grin spreading across your face as he promptly rolls over and falls asleep.

With time, the words will come out more and more clearly until he’s giving the casual “Love you.” Every morning and night, not even thinking much of it. But you’ll always remember the first time he said it to you, even if he doesn’t.

J for Jealousy-

He thinks jealousy is such an ugly look. He’s had girlfriends like that, obsessed with him and surveilling every single thing he does. It was awful. And he doesn’t want to be like that, especially not to you! So he tries; he really tries to be cool and levelheaded and to trust you completely. And he does trust you!

But he does not trust a room full of douchebags who think it’s alright to try and talk up his S/O! His chest burns with anger every time a creep stares you down or blatantly flirts. In public, he’ll stand right behind you and watch the entire room over your shoulder with the deadliest glare on his face. He totally fails at trying to be subtle about it. He can’t stand the thought that other people are having the same thoughts that he does about you. If you call him out on his jealousy, he’ll grumble and look away with an embarrassed blush.

Once you get home from some sort of social event, one where too many eyes happened to be staring at your body, he attached to you. He’s groping at and leaning into you, trying to consume you in his touch just to remind you that you’re his.

K for Kisses-

His kissing? Pretty good. He’s a bit rough, but he’s definitely not a bad kisser, especially if you’re into getting rough. He likes to keep his hands busy on your body when he kisses you and he groans against your lips if you ever start to mess with his hair. Very good experience.

He can make you go dizzy with a deep kiss or leave you quivering from a make out session without even blinking. What drives him crazy are soft, quick, passing kisses that you plant on him. A peck on his lips, face, or anywhere else will leave him blushing like a madman. He has no idea how something so simple makes him so flustered but he enjoys the feeling of butterflies in his stomach, wants you to do it more and more! He never gets sick of your small kisses.

L for Little Ones-

In the small community in Florida he grew up in, everyone knew everyone, which meant that all his stuck-up, judgmental neighbors knew how weird he was. Even though his parents were always supportive of him, that didn't stop fucking Cathy from down the street riding his ass at every block party. To avoid all the stupid questions and potentially beating up old people, he settled to hang out with all the kids during social gatherings. They were fascinated by his huge figure, alternative style, and gravely voice. He'd often find himself wrestling off tons of giggling toddlers, all with a huge smile on his face from the playfulness. This was a long way to say he's great with kids.

Kid's bring out Nathan's silly side. He's willing to drop his ego and act a little dumb just to make sure they have a good time; He'll roughhouse or play pretend or take a conversation about fictional dinosaur characters very seriously. It's honestly so adorable to see. As for having children? The thought scares him, he could name millions of protentional disasters just from the concept. But, if it's a serious want of yours, he'll consider it.

M for Morning-

Nathan thrives off of routine. He wakes up around noon and will not start his day off until he gets a morning kiss from you. He will sit in bed and pout until you finally peck his lips with a “Good Morning”.

After that, it’s pretty simple. At some in the relationship, the two of you have grown accustomed to each other’s procedures and habits, so you do practically everything in-sync. Most of the time, while getting ready, there’s a pleasant conversation that Nathan has grown to look forward to. Sometimes it discussing the day’s plans, sometimes it’s swapping the dreams had last night, or sometimes it’s just you reprimanding him for leaving such obvious bruises on your neck. No matter what, he’s happy he gets at least some time with you in his very busy schedule.

Despite what you might think, Nathan prefers to snack over the day than to have a large breakfast/lunch. Whether you follow suit or not, there will be some point where the two of you part ways so get can get work done, usually a meeting or early band practice. But before you go off to do your own thing, he always takes a moment to look into you eyes and share a small “Love You.”

N for Night-

Nathan stays up late. He’s a total night owl, always has been. In some cases, he’ll be partying and drinking his weight in booze. But most nights, he just wants to get work done, usually writing lyrics. Either way, he insists you go to bed before him and he’ll join you later. If he has been partying extra hard, it’s up to you that he actually makes it to bed. That’s if he goes to bed at all; he definitely pulls a few all-nighters every now and then.

At around 12-3 AM, you’ll wake up to the bed shifting and groaning under his weight. He’s stripped down to his boxers, he smells of either beer or chips, and he’s shushing you to stay asleep. He doesn’t mean to wake you up almost every night, but it’s sort of inevitable. Either way, he’ll kiss your forehead and gladly accept it when you eventually come crawling into his side.

O for Open-

At the beginning, it is absolutely minimal. It’s almost sad how little he’s willing to open up to you. Anytime the two of you talk, his answers are gonna be almost complete one-worded. Every date you go on a date, it’s exclusively for press and/or so he can get his dick wet afterwards. He truly believes that you’re only interested in him for his fame. He’s not mad about it, but he’s accepted it as the truth, so he doesn’t bother putting in any effort to actually engage with you.

But, over time, his heart will soften up and he realizes that-holy shit-he actually likes you and wants to be genuine with you. It starts out slow, like actually telling you about his day rather than just saying “Fine” or asking you questions about the side of your life that doesn’t revolve around him. He grows into admitting he cares about you or letting you in on band-business that’s supposed to be private. You can tell he fully trusts you when he’s willing to break down, let you comfort him while he cries, confess his weaknesses and allow you hear them because he knows that you won’t leave him for them. Then, and only then, does he realize how much he values you.

P for Patience-

It’s no secret that Nathan is a bit of a brat, or at the very least, a diva. It’s nowhere to the extent of his other bandmates (cough cough Skwisgaar) but he can certainly be picky or, yes, impatient at times. When it comes to small, inconvenient things, his anger is quick to spark up. It’s more so frustration than anything else, but he is still very clearly pissed off when something isn’t going how he wanted it to.

With you? He tries so hard to be levelheaded and cool. He’s willing to talk about it and work out solutions. But he has a tendency to just simmer in his own exasperation, especially when it’s something that has to just be dealt with rather than solved. A lot of the time, if he finds himself growing with anger, he will straight up walk away. It may seem disrespectful to you, but he’s just trying to keep himself from yelling or saying something stupid. He cannot lose you to an argument like that. Once he’s cooled down, he’ll return, apologize, and reaffirms that you’re okay with whatever is going on. Nathan really does want what’s best for you, no matter how angry he’s feeling in the moment.

Q for Quizzes-

Nathan wants to remember everything! He tries so hard to keep track of every little thing you say or do just because you’re so precious to him! But, more often than not, his brain will betray him and he’ll draw a blank when trying to decipher things about you. It’s not just you, he doesn’t have the most reliable memory in general. But he feels like such a bad boyfriend for not knowing things that should be obvious, like your birthday or favorite food.

At some point, he starts writing things down in his notebook. The very same notebook that holds reminders, inspiration, and lyrics for Dethklok songs. Every time you make a small comment that might be useful to him later, he quickly jots it down. It’s a little funny, right next to song titles like “Burn The Earth” and “Guts Punch Balls Throw-Up” he has little notes like “Favorite Flavor is strawberry :)”

BTW, you’re never allowed to see the notebook because you might also see notes such as “Looked super pretty this Sunday, made me happy” and how embarrassing would that be?

R for Remember-

It was such a quiet day. Nothing particularly exciting was happening, nothing particularly awful, either. He had spent hours sorting through paperwork, his brain still hurting with legal terms and signatures. Now, it was late afternoon, and the two of you were spending time on the couch.

By “spending time”, I mean he was writing lyrics, you were reading a book, and a large plate of French fries sat in the middle. Everything was so still. Occasionally you’d flip the page and grab a fry or he’d grumble and scribble something down. But besides that, perfect tranquility.

Until you decided you needed a drink. You left the room for a second, only a second, to grab a water or soda or beer. You just…got up and left. Like a normal person. But immediately, as soon as you were out of his presence, Nathan felt unnerved. The entire balance of the room shifted without you on a couch cushion beside him. He stared, dumbfounded, at the doorway as though you had abandoned him. He just missed you so much.

Less than three minutes later, you were back, with a drink in either hand. You place one by him, kissed his cheek in a way that made his heart flutter, and returned to your spot as though nothing had happened. Technically, nothing had happened, but those less-than-three-minutes had struck Nathan as so wrong, that when you returned, he was so, so internally grateful to have you there with him.

It was in that moment that Nathan realized how much he loved you, how important you were to him, how he couldn’t stand to be without you for a second. Even if the evening continued without him saying a word.

S for Security-

Yes, very much so.

Nathan fully believes that you’re “brutal as hell” and fully capable with handling whatever life throws at you. It’s one of the reasons he loves you! But he still acts so protective of you, he thinks that’s how a ‘good boyfriend’ should act (raised on traditional values and all). It’s adorable, how he insists on being your guard dog in public or carrying stuff you could’ve gotten yourself. It’s his own form of chivalry.

However, in a situation where your life is genuinely at stake, he freaks the fuck out. Adrenalin kicks in, he hyper-focuses on getting you out of there, even over his own safety. Remember when he saved Toki whilst Mordhaus was burning down? He’s not even blinking until he knows your secure, preferably in his arms. Afterwards, he’s pressed into you, rocking back and forth, sobbing that he could’ve lost you. He never wants to feel that way again.

If you were to protect him, potentially from rapid fans, he…Well, Nathan finds it hot. I’ll get more info this later, but Nathan thinks aggression is a very good look on you. He obviously wants to keep you out of harm’s way, but he might just let you yell for a little bit just to enjoy the image.

T for Try-

Early in the relationship, he goes all-out with expensive gifts, extravagant dates, and big gestures. Unfortunately, it’s not necessarily because he’s trying super hard, but he thinks it’s what will keep you happy. Again, in his mind, you’re only dating Nathan Explosion for the clout and/or money, so he’s gonna give it to you.

Eventually, he learns to be more personal with you. At that point, he tries so damn hard, not at making his romantic pursuits as bold, but more so at making them perfect for you. All your dates are planned so that you have the best time you could possibly have. The gifts become symbolic and personalized in a way only the two of you understand. His gestures become slightly more private, pleasing you rather than impressing those around you. He’s slightly embarrassed at his own sappiness but seeing the glow in your eyes is so worth it.

Day to day is about the same. Nathan has put in a lot of effort making sure that the two of you have a shared schedule that works and he’s super proud of it, having the comfort of you every single day.

U for Ugly-

As I said earlier, the first ‘phase’ of your relationship with Nathan is going to be difficult. He doesn’t trust you, he’s completely unwilling to share any details he deems “personal” which is most of them, and he really only dates you to say he’s dating someone and to show you off to the paparazzi. It’s…pretty pathetic. You’re gonna need to be tough in order to fight your way through to Nathan’s heart.

Even then, he has a streak of untrustworthiness. Not necessarily from you, but his jealously and clinginess can be a bit overwhelming sometimes. Not as bad as some other members though…

He’s incredibly stubborn. We’ve seen how picky he is with Dethklok’s music and that bleeds into other aspects of his life. He doesn’t enjoy sudden changes to his routine or unexpected events. He tries to be open-minded, but arguments might spark up if he’s feeling particularly hard-headed that day. Although, you are the only person he truly trusts an opinion from.

V for Vanity-

Most of the time, Nathan doesn’t really care. He likes to keep his appearance at least a bit brutal at all times, for sake of his image. His clothing is never too expensive or of high-quality. If he finds something that he likes, he buys multiples of it so he can wear it again. I’m also convinced that he dyes his hair because there’s no way it’s that black (look at his parents!). Outside of that, he’s not too concerned with how he looks.

Until he is. Every now and then, Nathan will get depressive mood for a bit and really start hating in his own appearance. He’s not in his peak physical form anymore; he’s fat and aging in a way that’s not super graceful. Online criticism of his every feature doesn’t help either. Which is why he really appreciates it when you start to love up on him, kissing random places and telling him how much you adore his body. He’ll mumble and look away and try to push you off a little bit, but his cheeks are heating up and his brain is tingling with all sorts of good feelings. Nathan loves being doted on.

W for Whole-

Like I said, Nathan likes routine. When you’re suddenly pulled out of the equation, his whole day is set off and he gets all moody until you come back. He doesn’t need to constantly be with you but he once he’s assimilated to your presence, he doesn’t ever want you to leave. At some point, deep in the relationship, you become an aspect of life to Nathan and he can’t even imagine trying to live without you.

So yes, in a sense, he’d be incomplete without you.

X for Xtra-

Even when he realizes that his relationship with you means much more than he originally realized, he still loves showing you off to cameras or at parties. With his arm around you, both wearing gorgeous outfits, he loves to show the entire world just how beautiful his S/O is and wants the world all to sob about it!

Before, pictures with his girlfriends used to be stiff and awkward. He just stood there, holding her hand maybe, whilst she posed for the camera. Now, he’s completely different. He’s wrapped around you, nuzzling into you, even smiling! The media goes crazy when he first does this with you; this is a side of him never shown to the public. It’s passionate, it’s tender, it’s so off-brand for Nathan Explosion! But he doesn’t care. He seriously gets off on the fact that you’re the only one that can make him feel this way and the only one he’ll act this way for.

Y for Yuck-

Lying. Nathan is already so guarded, so knowing that you are lying-for whatever reason- to him just cuts so deep and forgiving you will be a piece of work, if he decides to at all. Even if it’s something unpleasant, he just wishes you would talk to him and the two of you could work it out together.

After the whole “Rebecca’ incident, he can’t stand an S/O that’s too pushy or controlling of him. Who would’ve guessed, manipulating and bullying someone you’re supposed to be in a relationship with is not okay?! If you start off like this, he’s backing out immediately and probably calling you a bitch in the process. If you become worse over the course of the relationship, he might already be too far in love to realize how awful you’re being, so it’s usually his band members who are going to be calling you out on your bullshit. And there’s only a 50% chance you make it out of that alive soooooooooo….

Z for Zzz-

Nathan becomes a fucking wall when he sleeps. He’s on his back, he’s perfectly still, he’s gently snoring, and nuclear bomb couldn’t wake him up; you couldn’t even push him over you you tried. He likes to have you tucked under his arm when he gets into bed, but after he’s asleep, you could sleep directly on top of him for all he cares, he still won’t wake up. Probably would be super easy to suffocate.

Every now and then, you’ll wake up to him yelling his lungs out. Nathan is regularly frequented by prophecies nightmares and his reaction to them is not to thrash around or scream, but to just do the loudest, longest metal-growl you’ve ever heard. It’s terrifying to wake up to. Over time you’ll get used to it and begin to comfort him, usually by petting his hair and shushing him. He’s still half-asleep, so it’s not long before his eyes flutter shut once again. It becomes routine at one point.

Alright! And that’s fluff. Below there will be SMUT, including references to kink and BDSM. If you’re are sensitive to things that don’t qualify under “vanilla” sex, then this not for you babe.

A for Aftercare-

You are going to need it, babe. Nathan is prone to absolutely destroying you in the bedroom. Afterwards, though, he’s quite sweet (even if he won’t admit it). He likes to cuddle, soothing your aches and pains, kissing and fondling you gently. He’s vulnerable in this moments, exhausted from plowing you and soaking in his sentimental feelings for you. He keeps speaking to a minimum, sorry if you are into pillow talk. But he much rather care for you with actions rather than words.

If he’s feeling particularly romantic, he’ll get some Klokateers to start up a bath, completed with bubbles and scented oils. He knows it’s cheesy, but he really does have a soft spot for things like that, plus he gets an excuse to hold your naked body even longer.

B for Body Part-

He’s obsessed with you chest, no matter your gender or size. Groping with his large hands, running his fingers over your nipples to watch them perk up, leaving hickies all over. If you have boobs (or just large pecs) he loves watching them bounce while you fuck, his eyes are glued. If not, he still toys with your nipples, grinning as you whimper from the sensation. Nathan just loves your chest.

On himself; he has some lingering body issues, so he really doesn’t think to much about what he’s got going on during sex. That being said…he’s pretty proud of his dick. I’ll talk about it more during letter X but, oh lord, his cock is impressive. Nathan got some blessed genes in that department.

C for Cum-

Nathan comes in long, thick streams. He makes these beautiful grunting noises, hips thrusting forward and fists clenching onto whatever they can grab like your throat. He might just mutter some words about how filthy you are or how you drive him absolutely crazy as his cock twitches out his orgasm. As you might’ve guess, his favorite place to cum is on your chest, with you looking up at him like the god he is. Bonus points if you lick it up, he’ll get hard all over again.

D for Dirty Secret-

Obviously, like any good boyfriend, Nathan doesn’t like seeing you upset! He wants you to be happy, he wants life to be easy and good! But, whether directed at him or someone else, Nathan can’t help getting way too fucking horny when he sees you seething with anger!

When you’re voice starts getting a bit louder than necessary, you roll your eyes and furrow your brows, you throw your hands around with frustration…he is struggling to hide his boner. Something about it just makes you seem powerful and sexy to him and he feels so bad for not taking you seriously in the moment but he’s already flooded with dirty thoughts.

He would probably rather die than admit this to you, but there’s a good chance you figure it out on your own terms. If so, he will be very on board when you act just a little mean in the bedroom; pulling his hair and bossing him around, maybe even scolding him for being so turned on by your anger. Despite your love for each other, you can least pretend to be having awesome hate sex.

E for Experience-

It’s nothing to sneeze at. I imagine Nathan lost his virginity at some point in high school before he dropped out and it only went up from there. I mean…he’s a massive celebrity. He pretty much has access to all the sex he could ever want. The tricky part is catering to your needs. Before, Nathan was a bit of a selfish lover. Not awful but not super mindful about what the groupies he was banging were into. Once he’s dedicated himself to you, he realizes that really good sex requires communication. With some time and a few slightly awkward conversations, he’ll have mastered everything you could ever desire from him and it is worth it for the both of you. Nathan Explosion can fuck.

F for Favorite Position-

Including visuals from google

“Pirate’s Bounty”

I’ll start by saying that Nathan isn’t super picky. He’s obviously not very flexible, so anything that requires some impressive stretches from him is off the table. Outside of that, he’s game. You could be face down, on top, spread out, etc. He’s happy as long as his dick is buried in you, honestly.

That being said, this is a comfortable favorite he often resorts to. It lets him see all his favorite parts of you, grab and grope whatever his hands can reach, and look you in the eyes while he degrades the hell out of you. Nathan plows away, groaning about what a slut you are as one hand holds your leg against his torso and the other squeezes your throat. There’s also a good chance you’ll have your hands tied up to the headboard while he goes at it…Ugh I’m a simp

G for Goofy-

Absolutely not.

When he’s in the zone, Nathan pretty much loses all of his humor. Sex is very serious to him, in the same way alcohol is I think, “It’s sacred.” And once he’s with you, there’s an added layer of intimacy. So, no, Nathan isn’t really going to be cracking any jokes or even acknowledging the funny circumstances that inevitably happen. He’s too caught up in, well, destroying you.

If you happen to make a joke… yikes. He is very unimpressed. He’ll probably just ignore it. If you persist, Nathan will either make you cum so hard you forget your name, let alone a joke to make. Or, he’s gonna torture the fuck out of you until your apologize and beg for his mercy. It’s a good time either way. But don’t do it again, he really will get annoyed with you.

H for Hair-

He has a deep, deep secret that he has been carrying with him ever since he started getting an allowance as a kid. He has gone through ridiculous measures to ensure that this is not exposed to the public. Nathan Explosion…Dyes his hair. Oh, the horror! Seriously though, he has routinely dyed his roots black twice and month since he was, like, 10. Naturally, mousy brown color, similar to his Mom’s.

And as soon as he started actively messing around, Nathan even dyed his pubes as well. He doesn’t shave himself completely bare, usually just trims it down to stay out of the way. I’ve heard that balls can be difficult to shave and he doesn’t strike me as the type of guy to bother. And, yes, dyed it the same black as his hair, just so groupies wouldn’t go and spread the word. Eventually, with you, he stops caring so much about downstairs and lets it grow into its natural color. It’s honestly sort of cute and he gets a bit flustered when you point it out.

I for Intimacy-

Nathan really thought that romantic, passionate sex was only for basic dildo jack-offs and that he would never, ever be so vulnerable with someone. Nathan was an idiot. Once you are in the picture, he suddenly craves to fuck you in a way that is so beautiful and emotional. He wants more than just brutality and he’s not really sure how to handle it in a way that won’t make him seem too soft (he is so, so soft for you).

After some internet research and building up his courage, Nathan takes you out on a date. And it’s perfect. Dinner and a walk and stargazing, just the two of you. Part of him feels stupid, silly for indulging in something so cliche. But that part dies completely when he sees how enchanted you are by his efforts. Its a milestone in your relationship, because the whole night is filled with him getting sentimental with you, completely focused on the time you’re spending together. He’s overwhelmed with all the love he feels for you and, for maybe the first time in his relationships, he’s completely sure that you feel the same for him. It’s a wonderful realization.

When you finally get home, you’re met with rose petals and candles and music. Nathan is slow, squeezing your body like he’ll never let go, drinking in your image and your touch, telling you how perfect you are the entire time. It’s even better when you reciprocate it all back, caught up in each other, tangled within all sorts of amazing sensations. He even starts getting teary-eyed when he finally fills you up. He loves you so much.

After that night, the two of you still have sex that is rough and/or casual fairly often. But he always makes sure to set aside time every now and then to truly make love to you. When he chooses to be, Nathan can be extremely intimate and romantic with you.

J for Jack Off-

Nathan masturbates fairly often, even when you’re available for sex. Not that he’s not interested in you, he’s just rubbing one out so he can pursue more important things at the moment and blow off some steam, thought he won’t reject a blowjob.

Most likely he’ll be stumped with a particular song or going through some writer’s block same lmao. He’s frustrated, wracking his brain for rhymes that just don’t seem to exist, let alone fit the song he’s writing. He can’t tell if he can’t focus because he’s hard or hard because he can’t focus. Either way, his pants are straining and it’s getting difficult to ignore. A while ago, he might’ve pulled up some porn or even one of his old magazines, but he’s now think of you as he undoes his belt.

How gorgeous you looked for him a few nights ago, tears falling down your cheeks and legs shivering as he ruthlessly fucked you into, abusing your body in the most pleasurable way possible. He groans, tugging at his cock, eyes closed and wishing you were there with him now. Nothing made him cum harder that your touch.

When he’s finished, he makes a quick job of cleaning up and pulls back into his pants like nothing happened, feeling a new sense of lightness on his shoulders. Until he makes the unfortunate realization that he has to go back to working.

K for Kink-

Nathan is very, very kinky. He’s a huge fan of all things BDSM and Dom/Sub dynamics.

Knife and blood play, bondage, wax play, hair pulling, gagging, choking, edging, overstimulation, impact play, degradation, and even consensual non-con (which delves into roleplay as well).

He doesn’t even mind to be on the receiving end either, although he’s much more used to being in control. Hope you’re ready for that.

L for Location-

His bedroom. Yeah, he’s boring. Not even necessarily on the bed, but Nathan enjoys a secluded space for the two of you. If it’s at a point where you haven’t moved in, then your bedroom also works I guess.

But that’s lame so, scenario #2-

Nathan would love to fuck you as close to the ocean as possible. On the beach, on a boat, I would say a submarine but those are kinda controversial rn. He feels a deep connection to the ocean, although he can’t fully understand why. So having you there feels far more vulnerable to him than it should and he likes the intensity of it, even if you can’t feel it.

M for Motivation-

As I said earlier, seeing you get mad really does it for him. That’s what gets him the most riled up, even if he’s a tad ashamed of it.

He also loves massages. Nathan is a big dude who is constantly head banging and doesn’t have the best posture. He fucking melts when you rub his neck and shoulders and gets really excited to pay you back with some slow, hard fucking. The relief of you easing out his muscles just has him addicted.

Any revealing clothes, but particularly a low-cut shirt, especially if you happen to bend over and give him the perfect view; Nathan is drooling.

N for NO-

This goes with his ‘honesty’ thing, but Nathan hates when you fake it. He can tell instantly when you’re moans are being exaggerated, when you’re not really into something he’s doing, or if you try to fake an orgasm and it pisses him off. In your early relationship, he might begrudgingly ignore it just to get it over with. But later on, he finds it inexcusable and practically begs you to just tell him when you don’t like something. He’s a quick learner too, he’ll improve his technique and have you screaming in no time!

O for Oral-

Going DownKlok changed the history of everything forever in time.

For a while, there were very few things in this world that Nathan loved more than a blowjob from you. If you offered to suck him off, Nathan’s pants were already to his knees. No matter when or where, he’d find a way to get head. This led to a lot of risky bathroom escapes and leaving parties early. Nathan just loves a good ol’ blowey; petting your hair, looking down at you with a gaze full of lust, grumbling in pleasure as you choke.

However…I think we’re all aware of Nathan’s infamous refusal to use his own mouth on you. He somehow made himself think that doing so made him weak or submissive, probably something he heard in high school that stuck. He’ll straight up say, “Nope” when you ask and refuse to elaborate.

That is until one night, he’s stripping you’re clothing off and laying you down on his bed, giving you feverish and sloppy kisses. Your legs are wrapped around him, your face is red, and something about how gorgeous you look under him just makes him go, ‘Fuck it.’ and he dives in. Minimal thoughts, pure desperation.

And Nathan fucking loves it. He loves gripping your thighs and teasing you with his tongue and groaning against you whenever you moan his name. He’s a master at it too, knows all the perfect moves. It became a regular occurrence very quickly. Whenever you go down on him, he reciprocates. Or will just get on his knees for you at random moments purely because he loves to. Nathan’s new favorite thing is to give oral.

P for Pace-

It really depends on his mood. He can be both rough and romantic, often both at the same time. Sometimes he’ll be pounding so hard into you that your vision goes blurry; other times he will gently caress your body as he eases in and out. There’s really no definitive pace he goes for, though he is on the aggressive side more often than not in the bedroom. If he’s going to fast (or slow) for you, Nathan has no problem adjusting accordingly.

Q for Quickie-

He’s actually not a huge fan of them. He likes the concept of them, quickly and discreetly fucking each other, putting off other things just for sex. But in practice, not so much.

Rather than just enjoying it, Nathan will get stressed about his time management or wonder if something is going wrong without him there. He thrives on routine and prefers to take his time with you, so quickies just throw off his whole vibe. If anything, he’ll give you some oral and be on his way, saving the real thing for later. Even better, he’ll talk you up, telling you all the things he’s gonna do before leaving you to crave him.

R for Risk-

Nathan is very open to experimentation and is willing to try anything at least once. If he doesn’t like it, though, he’ll shut it down pretty quickly. But you don’t ever have to worry about sex being too vanilla or boring for you, Nathan is quite the adventurous type in the bedroom.

If he’s caught doing something freaky in a semi-public area with you, like a rented-out movie theatre or random bedroom during a party, he fucking dares it to be released to the press. Charles will do everything in his power to keep that from happening, for image’s sake, but Nathan is the biggest rockstar in the world. As I said earlier, he likes to show you off, and this is an extension of that. Now everyone knows how hard he fucks the gorgeous person he constantly has under his arm, what’s so embarrassing about that?

The potential risk for a pregnancy is…well, very touchy. You’d have to have a long conversation beforehand. If you don’t take precautionary measures, he will.

S for Stamina-

Nathan is a pretty big dude, and as strong as he is, not in the best physical health I must say. He has no issue getting it up again a couple more times, but with how hard he often goes, Nathan needs to take some good, long breathers. If you do plan on going at it for a while, these breaks will be full of gentle touches and praise for how well you’re doing, before he goes right back into you calling you a slut for wanting his cock so much. Ugh. If the two of you are careful, he can actually last a very long time, but there are a few certain little things you do that drive him crazy and will speed up his orgasm.

T for Toy-

A reasonable amount. Bondage equipment, whips and paddles, a few ornate knives to cause just the right amount of damage. Probably a vibrator that he tortures you with (male or female cmon now). He’s into kinky shit and kinky shit requires materials a lot of the time. I could also imagine him being really into that sex-furniture stuff, just to make things more convenient. If you ever have something you wanna try out, just ask and he’ll get it in a heartbeat. The only thing I can see him being adverse to is a dildo; you have his dick, why would you need another? Until you explain all the extra fun that can be had with it, then Nathan is on board.

U for Unfair-

Obviously with his dynamics and kinks, teasing goes along with that. He never edges you for too long, just long enough to make your eyes water and have you begging him for a desperate release. Really though, he doesn’t have nearly enough patience to edge you for hours, or hell, days but Nathan likes having a sense of control, so he still holds back when he’s feeling particularly malicious. He’ll tease you just long enough to get you to beg and then give in to you with overstimulation that’s almost worse than the teasing.

In public, he might give you some subtle pinches and gripes, hovering around you when he’s feeling frisky, but it’s nothing too blatant. If he’s desperate enough, he’ll drag you off to a slightly more private area.

V for Volume-

Nathan has a deep, gravely, sexy voice. It’d be a crime if he was silent during sex. Luckily, you get plenty of delicious growls, grunts, and groans from him. The pure bass of his voice shakes your entire skeleton when he’s real close to your ear. He does a whole lot of dirty talking too, using that same voice, degrading you to all hell while your mind in a blur of pleasure and pain. If he happens to be on the receiving end, you might be able to elicit some breathy, whimpery swears from him. While he’s not super loud volume-wise, all his noises are fucking perfect.

W for Wild Card-

My name ain’t Polyklok for no reason ffs

Pickles was totally the one to introduce him to the world of kink. He always knew he was a bit rougher than most and had some freaky fantasies, but when he and Pickles frequently messed around in the early days of Dethklok, he learned just how deep his desire for pain went.

Pickles had him tied up, hit, cut, and edged for what felt like forever. It was torture and yet Nathan always craved more of it. He felt so exposed and so safe at the same time. His exposure to BDSM was with him on the receiving end and it was perfect for him to discover just how wonderful that connection through pain was, especially with someone he trusted like Pickles.

He always has it in the back of his mind whenever he’s going at it with you, making sure that you’re feeling all the same wonderful things he felt and assuring that you are just as safe as he was. Tormenting your body is really a love language to him.

X for XRay-

Oh sweet baby satan

Nathan is hung. 8.5 Inches when fully erect and hella girthy, a slightly narrow head for your sake. The thing still somehow manages to bend upwards when he’s hard, by some miracle. He’s circumcised (look at his parents I mean-) and considerably veiny. Could’ve honestly been a porn star if the whole death metal thing didn’t work out.

Y for Yearning-

His sex drive his very high early in the relationship and eases into something more manageable within a few months. But overall, yeah, he’s quite set and you’ll certainly never feel neglected.

Depending on the damage; he might accidentally leave you untouchable for half a month due to the pure soreness. And he’ll be very apologetic. But usually, assuming injuries are kept under a certain threshold, he’ll go at it 2-4 times a week.

But his yearning can also build up. If you don’t happen to join him in travels for touring season, you’re gonna get it when he finally gets back. Both of you are gonna be completely unavailable for a few days minimum.

Z for Zzz-

Not too soon. This was pretty much all elaborated on in ‘A’, but he still cleans up and cuddles and gives you plenty of good aftercare. Once that’s all done and he’s confirmed that you feel taken care of…Nathan will sleep. If it happens to be way late at night/early in the morning, he might tough it out just to get his day started, but he’s gonna start feeling like crap by noon and probably pass out soon after that. Man needs his sleep.

…

I need my sleep. Dude, this took almost two months and many all-nighters. And I have so many requests…I love writing and I love the silly metal boys but…boy howdy. Thanks for reading, gorgeous.

#polyklok is real #dethklok #metalocalypse #btw I know a dick that big is actually pretty painful but this is fantasyland where vaginas never ever hurt so there #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #metalocalypse x reader #nathan explosion #metalocalypse nathan #I STARTED writing this on may 4 🥲#nathan explosion x reader #unedited honestly. was going to but I’m tired man #shit comes from the heart

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