#poop shit fart dookie

[fartquen12]

(IM BACK) yandere greedler x female reader.

HEY GUYZ IM BACK AFTER A FEW MONTHS.... HOPE YALL MISSED ME UWU.... JUST.. ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF FART

TRIGGER WARNINGS: onceler being MY version of onceler, Major character death, mentions of rape/non-con, Farts, poop, dookie,eating disorders, bulimia, body dysmorphia (vice versa jhonnythin style yk what i mean) will defenitly offend you if your a mini kyle or mini ravi.

You were here... you finally made it to the shitty place with all the trees you couldnt stop laughing at how hobo this town was... You were.. happy i guess when you saw this weird GUY.. uh wtf.. you thought to your self.

you walked over to him who was fighting this little orange guy..

“No shutu-”

“AHEM.. WHO ARE YOU?”

The fatass dude stared at you for a long time before making a run for it to his shitty houuse...

“um..” you said

“BRO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOY?” the lorax asked..

you just ran to your house.. that was real. And went to bed.

your was awoken by this weird sound... *scratch* you look over and see some creep looking at you through the window.. 

“OH HELL NAH” you said as you slammed the blinds shut. You coudnt make out who that creep was.. but he continued watching you.. at night.

“GURRRR” you said as a attempted to open my laxative bottle. 

*scratch-*

“WHA- DUDAAAA!” you yelled slamming the blinds shut again.

You began making it a habit to keep the door shut and locked and the windows closed.. no matter what.

One day you were staring at yourself in the mirror while laying upside down with your head hanging off the bed. You were bored and were looking around the room. since it was 12:00pm it would be safe too go outside.. but were you gonna risk it..? no. Ever since the creep stole your laxatives while you were gone and put a fan in your bathroom you havent felt safe.. You stared at the doorframe.. when you noticed something... rather... strange. You stood up on the bed to get a better look and to be able to reach it... IT WAS A MINI CAMERA. your jaw dropped and apparently so did your asshole because in that moment a huge flow of dirhea came out of your ass in fear. you ran to the toilet and threw the camera in before shitting all over it. While you shit you thought about everything that camera saw... Every time you scratched your butt.. every time you twerked.. every time you replayed that one abigail blyg and nick furcillo edit... AND THAT ONE TIME YOU CRIED TO “taco farts by mr farts and the band” WTFFF.

You began to cry. as you ran to your bed and slept all day. You woke up at 2:00am to check your house for any other cameras..

*scratch scratch*

“NO! NOOO!.. Listen.. please dont hurt me! stop stealing my laxatives and we can all be friends..”

*silence*

You sighed and ran to the bathroom and cried on the toilet as you ate takis and laxatives and shat like crazy. 

“why me!?!?!”

you began scratching your ass s you fell asleep on the toilet.

Next day you finally went out to town to get groceries.. you kept seeing this guy called the.. onceler? He was pretty nice and you felt bad for him about the whole thneed thing. it was a good idea to you but no one else like em i guess. 

“Hey! Onceler how are you?” you said attemting to make conversation.

“good.. what about you..?”

“Uhh... ive been okay..? There is this creep who keeps recording me tough i cant tell who though..?”

“heheheeee..”

“what?”

“check your bathroom... y/n” he said smiling.

You ran home as fast as possible slamming and locking your door and seeing it..

Yes. He was the “creep” you thought as you saw the camera in the bathroom you had.

“OH SICK!” you yelled before ripping it down. You heard something knock at your doorloudly and when you didnt answer..there was a knock.. at your bedroom door from inside the house.

You began to panic as you jumped and hid under the bed slamming a hand over your mouth to mask the sound of coughing from the battle with the toilet a minute ago. 

Thats when the onceler came int your room and grabbed you straight up from out under the bed and forced a mask over your face  with a gas to make you sleep. 

You woke up in a dark room. with this weird guy.. even though he had kidnapped you.. even though he had ruined your life.. and he raped you that one time... you liked him.. in a weird way. AFter weeks of treating him like a boyfriend and finding out about his factory and what not. He let you have free access to the house when he left for work. what he didnt know... is that he was going to regret that.. 

You saw his car leave and when you did you bolted for the toilet. You began throwing up last nights dinner the dinner before that the one before that and.. the one before that.

You had gotten super skinny... what you didnt know was that the onceler was coming home early.

“oh god *cough cough*” y/n said hovered over the toilet.

“I’m home! Ho-”

oh shit.

HE stared at you before running into the bathroom. you were excited for him to see you. you knew he was going to hug and kiss yo-

“GET THE FUCK OUT OFF MY WAYYYYAAA!” he yelled shoving your head away from the toilet and pulling his pants down to shit. But when you continued trying to throw up he got really mad.. with poop dripping down his legs he stood up and began to beat the everloving shit out of you. 

“DONT *smack* BOTHER *smack* ME *smack* ON *smack* THE *smack* TOILETTTT *smack smack smack*!!!” he said as he began to break every single bone in your body.. you decided to go into the light where you saw turds with halos on their heads.. Guess moving to that hobo town wasnt so funny after all..

THE END

[allcrush]

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[jeffdakillah777]

jfnsjavakwbajabahudjwnwbsjanahajwkamanwjiaksjs 👍👍

ok

[yamithediaperdork]

Baby Naruto

A little story that was done for littlesparkyabdl ^^

Naruto was well known for many things. His mastery of the shadow clone justu, his love of ramen and of course his goofy attuide. But one thing that WASN'T well known about Naruto was what a total goo goo gaga diaper dork he was. Case in point, at this very moment he was grinning ear to ear and looking over his shoulder, patting and admiring the massive thick white diaper taped around his hips. Giving his white crinkly booty a little shake he stuck his touge out and winked at his reflection, before turning around and pointing at his own reflection. "You, are a total, big baby and should be kept in diapies 24/7!" he scolded himself and then giggled. the already not quite bright lad's IQ always seemed to take even more of a dive the second his butt was back in diapers which helped explain why it was only when he was in diapers that the idea of wearing them all the time, of waddling around town with a thick puffy butt seemed like a good idea. Of course he knew how DUMB that would be, and he knew truthfully he'd die of humiliation of anyone ever actually saw him in his diapies. Still it was fun to think about, thoughts of being stopped and having his diaper checked or being scolded for being such a big baby made him swoon and blush. Though one thing that was kinda weird for naruto  was how his fantasies as of late had kinda shifted. oh, he still thought about being panted and having his diaper butt patted and being scolded in public, but while once it was him thinking about sakura doing the deed now.. a faint blush crossed Naruto's face and he tried to ignore the throbbing his loins at the thought of Sasuke or kiba or god, even konohamaru being the one scolding him. as mental images of Naruto on the ground, in just a diaper and looking up at a grinning sasuke who then...mfffh.. and also with his foot.. the throbbing in his loins got to be too much to ignore but Naruto had set up a very humiliating and kinda gross rule for his making stickies. Said rule was he wasn't allowed to spurt unless he was in a stinky diaper. waddling to his fridge Naruto got out his cartoon of spoiled milk, the oder making him make a face but nothing made sure he was a super duper diaper pooper like this stuff. Holding his noise and trying to block out the taste Naruto chugged and after a good five minutes of hacking and coughing was ready to move onto the next step. Naruto eyed his pride and joy, the custom built just for his big baby butt baby bouncer, With deluxe anti justu timer locks. colored orange (Naturally) the springs would kick in the second he was secure and he'd be at the mercy of the bounces in his soon to be VERY stinky diapers. The idea was so enticing to the dork he actually zoned out for a few minutes, drooling down his chin some till a gurgle in his tummy snapped him out of it. "Silly baby!" He scolded himself and then scrambled to get in the harness, strapping in and setting the timer for a hour and hitting go. (and sadly being the big silly baby he was, hitting 10 hours by mistake. oh silly Naruto.) the bouncer started him off slow and Naruto coo'ed softly and got himself comfortable, he was in for a ride. as the bounces got more intense the stinker let out some brassy farts and got a dopey grin on his face, squishy time was about to start! Despite his eagerness to fill his diaper up like the big baby he was Naruto fought the urges to go. that feeling of utter helplessness when he lost all control and pooped himself helpless..oh god! So because of that it was at least anther ten minutes before the fight was over and the poopie won, mush pouring out and making the diaper fill up and squish around even as Naruto bounced up and down, making the cutest dookie faces you'd ever seen. the diapers did little if anything to hide the stink and not for the first time Naruto was grateful the apartment by his were vacant (of course, if he'd been thinking, he might be the reason they were) "Bouncy bouncy for da stinkest baby!" Naruto gurgled out and coo'ed wishing he'd grabbed a rattle now as he instead grabbed onto the bouncer and closed his eyes. He pictured different boys from the village, all pointing at him, laughing at him, holding they're noses and complaining about what a stinky stinky baby he was, how could he be such a loser, did baby want a diapie change? all of these and more and naruto's cheeks were burning bright and his wiener was going into over drive! and it must of been because he was so close that the image of sasuke in his head sounded so clear when he started to laugh. "what the fuck are you.. Oh my god!" Sasuke laughed and Naruto opened his eyes. There he was, for real, hunched over and laughing. Naruto scrambled and tried to get out of the baby bouncer but there was no excuse, sadly the product lived up to all of it's claims and sasuke smirked as he finished laughing, crossing his arms and watching the loser fumble about. the funniest thing about it all (well aside from the fact the wimp was still being bounced) was that Naruto's ragged breathing gave away what he was seconds, maybe a minute at best away from doing. "might as well give up loser. your caught red handed...or should that be.." and sasuke paused, holding his nose and waving a hand. "Brown butted?" "S-S-Sasuke I-I-I" "Y-Y-You what? whats with the stammering? did you literly shit your brains out?" Sasuke laughed."Look it's pretty clear your about to nut, why don't you tell daddy sasuke what your pervy mind was thinking about." Oh god, no, Naruto couldn't tell sasuke, what would he do with that kinda info..that..he couldn't do with Naruto like this right now... yeah.. fuck. "I...I was t-thinking about...b-boy's-" Naruto started but was cut off. "Boys huh? Called it, Sakura owes me zenni~" Sasuke chuckled, then motioned for Naruto to go on. "W-well the boys...they..they were making fun of me for being a stinky big baby and yes you were one of the boys!" Naruto yelped out fast, with his eyes closed. Sasuke blinked at that, then naturally started to laugh again and chuckle call Naruto a biggg baby loser right as Naruto finally creamed his diaper. "KISS ME DADDY!" Naruto cried out as he came, a phase that shocked Sasuke long enough for Naruto to reach out and pull the brunette in for a kiss. as they're lips locked Naruto was lost in a stinky big baby bliss while sasuke, was forced to try and enjoy the smooch (hey, it was nicer then expected..) but at the same time try not to pass out from Naruto's fumes. "mffffh... when this is up you and me can cuddle lots more." Naruto coo'ed babyishly. "uh.. well you have like 9hours and some to go." Sasuke pointed out, looking at the timer. "Whatttt I set it for...Ohhhh geezballs.. Uh.. can you go open a window?" Naruto whined. "Yeahhh and then i';m gonna go get some scented candles..uh.. you want anything else while I'm gone?" sasuke said. it was odd, one second he'd been tormenting the blond but clearly Naruto hadn't planned on that long of a bounce. "yeah..a brain. Clearly i don't have one." Naruto grumbled "heh, I'll see what i can do.. in the meantime, don't go anywhere and stick around." sasuke joked. "oh your soooo fucking fu-" Naruto started to snark then groaned. "..You have to poopie again?" "Y-yeah.." "...I'm gonna get LOTS and LOTS of scented candles." "Hurry."

[crabs-in-a-trench-coat]

you like killing people huh? you wanna shit and defecate all over someone's little mouth huh?? you just wanna fill that baby childs mouth with fucking dookie don't you ??? fuck you piece of shit i hope you poop hard and just fucking shit poop sooopo hardddddd oh my god yes fart fart fart poo POO POO pbrrrrt poopy

Sir, the weird fetish blogs are a few blocks over.

[koulia]

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[dead-palette]

Jeff the Killer, New Beginnings

Hello there, I'll be using you to talk about the situation I find myself in. See, my name is Jefferson L. Killian, but you can just call me Jeffry. I'm 22 and recently moved from Tucson Arizona to Alton Utah with my mom, dad, and stupid adopted kid brother Liu. I like Yu gi oh, Roblox, and rap music. I'm actually thinking about starting a soundcloud to do yu gi oh parody rap battles. Or I was, before the bad day came. Now I'm no sure of anything anymore.

It all started a week ago when we moved into our new house, so Y2K had not hapened yet. I didn't want to move but my mom got a new job on a public access kid show writing. Her idea was called super puppet friends. Anyway, the new house was in a nicer neighborhood than our last one. I can tell because I saw married couples wearing sweaters tied around their shoulders. My parents forced me and my 14 year old brother to go to a new church. I wish we could go to normal church, sadly we're Mormon. When we got there, some men in black greeted my parents but I had to look after the kids in the daycare, INCLUDING my super adopted brother. The daycare was in the basement, and ugh, the smell. It was like a new kind of poop smell that was clearly poop, but like modified in a lab. The genetic code of this poop wasn't meant to occur naturally in nature.

So I surveyed the room. In the middle were a group of kids playing Beyblades in the middle of the room. They were playing Beyblades in the middle of the room in a hulahoop, not the officially licensed Metal Fusion Beystadium by Takara Tomy like my brother uses. My brother ran over and started playing took out his Burn Fireblaze Pheonix metal beyblade. I saw one black kid using a Twisted Tempo spinner, and another using a Diablo Nemesis Metal Fury. I hated Beyblades so much. They all yelled "Let a rip!".

One boy ran up to me and complained that they wouldn't let him play because he didn't have his own Beyblade. This boy might have been patient zero of the genetically modified super poop experiement. He had what I assumed what chocolate pudding on his face and nose, and did have a cowboy hat on. The whole time he whined he was itching his butt, really using his red shorts to get in their. I told him to wash his hands first. He then went to the near by drinking fountain and rinsed his hands, only to dry both of them by itching his butt again. This redirection must have changed his train of thought.

Over to the left area of the basement was kids playing with lego. If you didn't know, the plural of lego is lego, not legos, but I bet these stupid kids didn't know that. A few of the lego were officially licensed by the Lego Group of Denmark. The rest were some christian knock off legos. Like noah's ark themed bricks and the naviety scene. These lego bricks symbolized the death and rebirth I'd go through to become the man I am now. The one Ninjago toy that was officially licensed, Kai, symbolized the power I'd WELD.

Over to the right area of the basement there was some kind of some leaking pipes. The leaks were flooding the floor on the right side of the room. But no one seems to take notice of the leaking pipes and the wet floor. Besides dookie kid who would ocassionally jump up and down in the water, sending small splashes of putrid water of to the left area of the room, where the lego kids were playing at. Near the back of the room, opposite me, was a child having an intense game of pocket pool. Focusing my eyes, it was Randy, a boy my age. Randy had a skatebored at his feet and his hands in his pockets. I wondered if the strange curve in his back was natural or if it came from how good his game of pocket pool felt. Randy wore a black trench coat and a fetching white ascot. His hair was qcouffed in a manner that made him look like Joseph Smith if he was a school shooter. His skatebored had tight wheels on it, and it's underside had a picture of Dark Link from Ocarina of Time on it. Randy also wore a nametag that said Randy Anthon of the LatterDay Saints. That's when his eyes connected with me.

I wore white hoodie. I like to wear white to show off my positive attitude toward life. My hair was pure black and unqcouffed. My body has numberous scares from cutting myself. My pants WHERE black to slim my legs. I never liked my legs, too leggy if you ask me. Anyway, Randy gave off an aura of malice. I could just tell he had something to do with the Anthon Forgeries that made Mormons look like fools years ago. If not for that slip up, Mormonism might have been mainstream by now. But I couldn't let myself get distracted by that at a time like this, in this hell hole.

That's when a Bishop came down stairs with a cart full of snacks. The Bishop wore a red bow time and red suspenders, a white dress shirt and black dress pants. His haircut was dorky with disturbingly even bangs and ginger-y hair. His ears were big and magnifient. He started to introduce himself to myself and my adopted brother liu as "Bishop Bob Backlund." But then he started just yelling at me. He wanted to know why the pipes were leaking. I of coursed had nothing to do with it. But he wouldn't listen and blamed me. He pushed me on to the floor and told me to serve the the snacks if I wanted to stay a Mormon. Then he left.

Randy was laughing as he walked out of the room with the Bishop. I was so made, but I couldn't have my Mormonism revoked. My parents would be pissed. So I served the snack. The snack was either goldfish or vanilla wafers served in white coffee filters. And every child also got a can of warm ginger ale. But the Ginger ale was Canada Dry. My old Mormon church had Verners Ginger Ale. I couldn't deal with all this change.

Once all the children had snacks, they all resulted to their activities, getting goldfish and waffer crumbles everywhere. I started watching the children playing with K'Nex because I didn't have any paper to write Roblox raps. While all of the K'Nex were officially licensed by the K'Nex Industries Inc, many pieces were missing making the hole thing sad. They did have the K'New Plane that you got from Pizza Hut. My mom actually directed the Pizza Head commericals for Pizza Hut, so I had all the Pizza Hut K'Nex until we adopted Liu from China. I also got lots of Muchtown meals.

But while my attention was focused on the K'Nex, I missed some awful happening at the other area of the room. When I noticed, time slowed down. It was clear that this would be the defining moments of my life. And it didn't turn with a whimper, but a bang, of horrorific bang. A bang that would turn me into a harbinger of evil. Gone was the pure Jeff that believed in truth, justice, and the Book of Mormon. No, I would become death, bringer of evil. It was cowboy hat boy. His pants were down. His small small little boy penis hanging out. He was standing over the puddle, his vibrant red shorts around his ankles getting wet on the floor. Scattered around him were gradually softening goldfish, turning into puff balls. His back was arched in an all too famaliar way, a sign of inpending doom. Behind him was a trash can placed flush against the wall. His hands, far above his head and clinche into granite fist like victorious vice grips. That's when he yelled the incandation that brought to earth to a stand still. "LET A RIP!"

A shotgun blast of solid yet wet shit erupted forth from his prepubest bum and hit the wall without loosting any elevation, then shattering and recocheting on impact. Bit of wet poop landed on everything and everyone in a circular reverberance zone. The remants of dookie that stuck to the wall began to loosen and fall, hitting the rim of the trashcan but falling to the floor. This happen as a second burst detonated even louder and more sour sounding than the first. Now a mostly liquid napalm that traveled two and a half feet to the wall in a constant stream, that in turn back splashed landing mostly on the red shorts.

Then came Revelations 17:12. "The ten horns you saw are ten kings who have not yet received a kingdom, but who for one hour will receive authority as kings along with the beast." And these ten horns were ear deafing farts, the kind of piercing ordanance sounds that give soldiers life long nightmares. With my ears ringing and my mind boarding on insanity, a pee stream was unleashed from this tiny little man. A pee stream of a perturnatural nature, seeming to come from no where as it was impossible that it sprung from such a minuscule vessel considering the sheer literage of the urine in question. Whats more was the smell, the pee, not the poop, but the pee smells worst than anything I'd ever smelled. One might imagine puking, but the smell had such a tartness that it oppessed the heaving I was feeling in my gut. As my hearing returned, I heard the boy say one word with a blank expression on his face.

"Help"

That's when the Bishop returned and blamed me for the poop. It was so unsafe. He told me to clean it up. He handed me some cleaning supplies and sent all the kids home. I tried cleaning the trash can with bleach and ammonia and it burned me, turning me into a monster. I went broke into the Churches Musuem and stole the Kitchen Knife of Latterday Saints, the knife destine to end the Beast.

Afterwards, I broke into the inner sactum of the church where Randy, Troy, and Keith were all drinking ginger ale from the glass bowl of reformed Egyptians, one of the 3 scared objects of mormonism. I stabbed all three of them and drank from the bowl. Now I can read every langauge. Tihs made me Jeff the Killer, New Beginnings. Now go to sleep children of Abraham.

[tendaisagwetethink-blog]

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- idiot

shitbagger

- idiot

shitbrains

- idiot

shitbreath

- Bad Breath

shitcanned

- Fired

shitcunt

- idiot

shitdick

- idiot

shitface

- pooface

shitfaced

- Drunk

shithead

- jerk

shithole

- idiot

shithouse

- bathroom

shitspitter

- butt

shitstain

- poop

shitter

- defecator

shittiest

- worst

shitting

- pooping

shitty

- bad

shiz

- poop

shiznit

- poop

skank

- dirty girl

skeet

- semen

skullfuck

- sexual act

slut

- sexually popular woman

slutbag

- sexually popular woman

smeg

- poop

snatch

- female genitalia

spic

- mexican

spick

- mexican american

splooge

- ejaculate

spook

- White person

suckass

- idiot

tard - mentally challenged testicle - male genitalia thundercunt - idiot tit - breast titfuck - sexual act tits - breasts tittyfuck - sexual act twat - female genitals twatlips - idiot twats - vaginas twatwaffle - homosexual

unclefucker - homosexual

va-j-j - female genitalia vag - femail genitalia vagina - female genitalia vajayjay - female genitalia vjayjay - female genitalia

wank - sexual act wankjob - sexual act wetback - Mexican whore - hussy whorebag - idiot whoreface - idiot wop - Italian http://www.noswearing.com/dictionary/b

Me

_______________________________

This is a list of swearwords from another website that I put here for the sake of ideas generation. We were exploring this idea thanks to the suggestion of a teacher. The idea was to create a campaign that could potentially become viral thanks to the immaturity of the younger parts of our target audience.

[fartquen12]

WRITE A FIC WHERE READER DIRRHEAS ON THE ROOF WHERE XIAO HANGS OUT AND THEN WHEN HE GOES UP THERE AND SMELLS IT HE BREAKS UP WITH HER ANGST

OHKAY 

Smelling distraught

poopy!xiao x fem!sad!stinky! reader

TW: Poop,caca, dirhea, xiao, fem reader being my version of fem reader, fart, angst, break up, really sad, dookie, will defenitly offened you if ur a mini kyle.

You were standing on the roof staring down at the city. You felt the wind on your legs and feet. You had to go CACA so you pull down ur pants and spray shiat everywhere you couldnt stop poopin. You heard some guy from down in the city say “LOOK THAT LADYS SPRAYIN SHIT LETS GO SON!” he said as he rushed his son away from the building. After 20 minutes you were done and you went back inside to wash ur ass. You sat on the couch and watched gordon ramsay on crack for 20 minutes. You were laughing so hard when you heard “AR ARR ARA GAR A G AR AGAR AGA RA g!” come from the roof. *wtf is this guy on* you thot. Hmm You then ran up to the roof... “xiao...” you said quitely he was crying on the floor. “YOU DID THIS!” he said as he turned around. “WHAT NO I DIDNT BITCH.” you said back “uH YES U DID HOE.” he screamed you came over and slapped him “SHUTUP BITCH.” you said. He got up and said “ITS OVER.” you sighed “yes im done pooipng.” you said. “NO WERE OVER IM BREAKIN UP W YOU GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT AND TAKE UR SHIT WITH YOU.” He screamed. “WHA HEY WE CAN TALK ABT THIS.” you said “LEAVE... NWO” he said. you ran downstairs and scooped ur shit out the toilet and left. you never came back again.

THE END I HOPE U GUYS LIKED IT

[fartquen12]

Hey quen😊😊💕💕

can uf do zhongchi fic where childe is preg🥺🥺 and they raise thw stinky bwabby🥺🥺💕💕 thxx!.!

Omg yes bestie. Also since I am literally being such a bwimbwo whwore and want to stwab mwuself bc of a man (thats not very bwimbwo whore of me) This is a great idea.

Also next time pls put poop in the request and Also I only do y/n related stories so ya shes going to be in here.

UNFAIR RANK DIAPY WIPEY

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Fart, Poop, Birth, Sea section, Unatural birth, dookie, Fat babies, dirhea, Nsfw??, Will defenitly offend you if your a mini kyle.

It was 10:30 pm and I (y/n) had woken up to this shitty sound. It was like really loud. When I realised thats childe creaming- SCREAMING. I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom he was in! "Childe what- whats wrong a-are you okay!?" I exclaimed "AY GET THO FUCK OUT IM TAKIN A SHITAAA!!!" childe screamed back at me "FUCK OKAY ASSHOLE!" I replied slamming the door after. I was so pissed when I felt a rock hard di- hand touch my arm "whats wrong baby?" I heard a deep im taking a shit pooping sounding voice say. "oh 'ts nothin' just childe being a bitc-" I stopped when I heard "THERES A HEAD THERES A HEAD OUT MY ASSSSSS!" come from the bathroom. Me and zhongli ran into the bathroom and childe was standing with his asshole in the mirror and a small head covered in shit coming out his ass. Without saying anything zhongli ran to the car and forced childe and me into it. I had to sit in the back and childe was in the passanger seat zhongli driving. "THE BABYS COMING!" childe screached "YES BITCH I KNOW!!!" zhongli said angrily. I felt left out so I put on my headphones and turned on "taco fart song sped up 10 hours" On my switch lite. 5 minutes later we were at the hospital and i took off my headphones and me and zhongli and childe ran inside. Once we were inside zhongli told me to stay while childe and him went to the room. I felt left out again. So I decided to get a little risky with the patients in the large room I was in. I saw a strange man with blue hair and a huge shitty looking hat. I walked up to him and sat down next to him. "where ya from cutie." I said and I winked at him. "your moms ass." the cruel man said. "excuse me." I said. "haha just kiddin' im just pulling your leg IM from russia!" He said. I thought to myself man this guys cringe. I decided he was short and shitty for me. I looked over and saw the buffest hottest dude I have ever seen. I ran over to him and sat on his lap. "Damn baby lets go somewhere else." He said. Me and this man went to an empty surgery room. We started kissing. Shit. I farted. He looked at me. Laughed. And then we started kissing again. Then I heard the door open and while kissing this stranger I glanced over and saw a hobo looking man. "Hey butthole guye, Ive got the reports to your- OUHHHH PY AHA ADADADAY OH YA DADAY ISJDIUHSD ISUHIOOOHHOogOHOHOHUHOHUHOAOAAAHA!!!!" the man screamed- moaned? he ran away and the man I was kissing said "I need to go now, But call me my names kaeya, but you can call me- big daddy." The man left. I decided to go check on stupid ass childe. I looked through the door window since i wasnt allowed in. I saw childe holding a stinky ugly looking baby that looked like a noodle. childe told me to come in and say hi to our new baby. But i didnt want to. I was so disturbed at this rat ass looking childe I didnt know what to think, what to do, what to know. I stood there staring into its terrifying eyes for a while. Everything was gone except this strange childe. He seemed like a demon. "Hes...- terrifying.." I said. I placed a hand over my mouth as I slowly cried. "ACTUALLY ITS A GIRL." The nurse said. I screamed. I opened the door quickly ran through the hospital lobby and out the doors got in our car and left them there. I drove 5 states away.

10 years later...

I woke up to my alarm. I woke up my husband kaeya aswell. I walked downstairs and got started on breakfast. Kaeya gave me a kiss on the cheek and grabbed the keys to check our mailbox. I finished setting our food out at the table. Kaeya smiled when he saw the food. "Looks great thank you!" he said "Of course big daddy." I said. We ate breakfast silently and awkwardly. I went over to the mail he put on the counter and I saw a letter with my name. Y/n shitman. I opened it curiosly. It read, Dear Y/n Shitman, Due to the order of law you are five years passed on your payment, Your licesnse has been taken aswell as your toilet privlages and free yearly trip to england, Please come in contact with us soon. sincerly child department.

I was confused to what that was "whats that?" kaeya said "hmmm" I said in response. I saw another piece of paper in the envolope that read

Year one- $0.00

year two- $0.00

year three- $0.00

year four-$0.00

and it went all the way up to

year ten $0.00

I didnt understand until i saw in small print.

Hey y/n please pay for your goddamn poop riden child. We want 500 a month asshole. Child support please. sincerly childe and zhongli Shitman.

You paused. You dropped the letter to the floor and started tearing up. How could this trauma dump come back. You thought you would never have to hear from anything that had to do with that shit child again. when the paper fell it revealed the back of the paper which read.

You have 1 month to pay us 10k (btw we named her olivia and now we have another kid named topher)

"What- What the fuck is that!?" Kaeya said angrily.

"I-"

Part two???