#poor Timo lmao

[chaotic-lion]

KING JULIEN OPEN THE, OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE, KING JULIEN OPEN THE DOOR

[hockeyandhrsepwr]

One Year 🫶

Luke Hughes x college vlogger!reader

Sup Homies! masterlist

yourusername

liked by bestie, dylanduke.25 & others

yourusername Happy one year to my favourite sickly victorian child looking, incredible hockey playing, American eagle modelling, devil(ha)ishly handsome personal chauffeur! 🫶 Love you Luke, here to a lifetime 

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User83 put that fourth pic in the Louvre it’s a damn masterpiece! 

Yourusername It is exquisite isn’t it 

Adamfantilli Mackies face really makes the picture 

Dylanduke.25 oh he does look bad in that photo!

Yourusername idk what youre talking about, he’s never looked better

Lhughes_06 happy anniversary you nut. Love you!

Yourusername love you too lukey!!

Jacobtruscott_20 I take credit for this. 

Sholtz_024 the fuck you do!!

yourusername yeah sorry J, Steve gets creds for this one

Mackie.samo remember when he thought you were dating Steve?

Yourusername he what!!

Markestapa oh yeah! The first time you met at the arena

Bestie OH MY GOD!!! That was Luke? The cute awkward guy you bumped into that day?

Yourusername babe who the hell did you think I was talking about?

Bestie I dont know!! You’ve said a couple of them are cute before 

Yourusername SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

DylanDuke.25 no tell us more!! It was me wasn’t it?

Yourusername hahahaha

Lhughes_06 haahahah

Edwards.73 lmfao 

Makie.samo hahahaha

User74 omg poor Duker

UmichHockey our favourite couple!!

Yourusername my favourite social girlies!!

User838 can you get him in more team videos?

Yourusername I’ll lovingly bully him into it for sure!! Hell make some vlog appearances too!

Yourmom he’s good for you

Yourusername he is isn’t he🥰

Friend9 remember us sobbing over never being loved as freshman? Glad you finally found someone

Yourusername omg I forgot about that!! You’ll find someone soon!

luca.fantilli Hi! 😍

Yourusername sooner than I thought apparently 

User83 you guys are so cute!!

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User290 gonna go stargaze on a train track

User939 no same 

User02 same 😭

user84 Thats a hard launch if I've ever seen one

user215 girl did you not watch her latest video?

user84 lmao no, guess I'm behind

lhughes_06

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lhughes_06 happy birthday & anniversary babe!! To many more coffee dates & beach trips

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Yourusername Thanks for always buying me coffee! Love you 🫶

lhughes_06 a caffeinated y/n is a happy y/n. Love you

yourusername true dat

Adamfantilli thats one way to never forget an anniversary 

Luca.fantilli youre not wrong

Edwards.73 happy birthday favourite roomie!!

Dylanduke.25 she doesn’t live here 

mackie.samo practically does tbh

Yourusername I have a key. I’d say im a roomie

Markestapa WHO GAVE HER A KEY! We’ll never have any peace!

Edwards.73 not like we had it before, Dylan lives here

_quinnHughes  happy birthday y/n!

yourusername Thanks Quinny!! Need to visit Vancouver soon!

_quinnhughes text me! We’ll sort it out

TrevorZegras I can’t believe you’ve had a girlfriend for a whole year

lhughes_06 a year longer than you’ve ever had one

Yourusername ooh burn 

Markestapa she’s a cougar

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Markestapa shut up

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jackHughes fuck that Luke doesn’t count 

Yourusername oh he’s not included

NJDevils who make the roster?

Yourusername I’m so glad you asked!! Nico, Dougie, Johnny & Timo!

NJDevils thats a solid top 4!

jackHughes I got booted by the new guy?😦

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yourusername 21 & hella fun. Birthday Vlog up now

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Big thanks to everyone who helped me celebrate & _quinnhughes for the Can-ucket all the way from Van🫶

 User73 happy belated birthday!!!

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lhughes_06 you went hard for a Tuesday

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 User73 Quinn sent her a present? I love this 

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User13 already watched it! Looked like fun!

User61 Luke was so sweet in it!! User72 Can’t wait!!

user29 I love that your birthday is Pi day!!

yourusername I like it too!!

[ladylooch]

Hi, can you please write a timo meier imagine about reader and timo having sex and reader fakes an orgasim at night and tells some of the wags about it next day about how she really fooled him with her acting, not knowing that timo and his teammates overheard everything, his teammates laugh at him and timo gets embarrassed and upset at reader?

Eager Beaver with Timo Meier

A/N: Sometimes I write things and I’m like lmao a man would never say this, which is why we all love it 😆 Hahahaha. Poor Timo just wanted to show you a good time after he got home! Why you gotta do him like that!? Literally!

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: SMUT 18+ Content, Swearing, Angst. 

Tonight, Timo is an eager beaver. He’s been on the road for a long time, bouncing around the  East coast. He came roaring into the bedroom when he got home, flipping the covers off your body and dive bombing your breasts. He spent time kissing along the swells, but then he was dipping into your pants with quick fingers that had you reeling trying to catch up to what was happening.

“Please tell me you are close.” He moans into your hair. His thrusts are sooooo slow. And you’re nowhere near there. But his breathing is picking up. And his moans are filling the air of your bedroom. And you think the right thing to do is to perform a little bit to help him out. 

“Yeah, baby. Feels so good.” You coo into his ear, tugging his ear lobe between your teeth. His jerky hips buck into you as you heighten your breathing, moaning his name and arching your back like you’re coming. Timo finishes inside of you, melting into your body afterwards. 

“I needed that.” He confesses, running his hand along your cheek. “It was too long of a trip. I hate missing you that much.” You smile, ignoring the guilt of your conscious that pokes at you for pretending.

He’s happy. You’re happy. No harm done. 

The following day, Timo is whistling as you and him walk into the Children’s hospital visit you both agreed to. A few other team members and their significant others are joining too. He is happy after being reacquainted with you and has an extra pep in his step at seeing some young fans too. The Sharks are filming the visit for a PR video, so both you and Timo get mic’d up when you enter.

“I think this is where I leave you.” He smiles, leaning down to kiss you. The boys are going to do room visits while the girls are heading to some arts and crafts time. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me.”

“I know. Me too.” You kiss him back with a little tongue that adds a bright glint to his eyes. 

“Last night not enough, eh?” You widen your eyes and laugh off the pinch of guilt. 

“Good night, huh?” Erik’s wife, Melinda, asks you.

“Ah, yeah I’m letting him think that.” You chuckle. You and Melinda have a good relationship and it feels silly to lie to her about something so minor. 

“Little bit of a show?”

“Eager beaver didn’t know how to wait.” You joke back. 

“Babe.” Timo calls urgently. “Your mic is hot.” You cringe, looking at Melinda who covers hers in shock too. You had completely forget. 

“Sorry.” You cringe, looking at the producer who shrugs like he doesn’t care.

“We can cut it out.”

You look over at Timo who’s cheeks are red and eyebrows pulled down in agitation over his blue eyes. Can the producers cut it out of his brain too? Shit. You open your mouth to say something and he shakes his head, walking off with the rest of the group to the elevators. You close your eyes, knowing him well enough to understand he is really upset. 

The day drags on, The kids are cute and you do your best to interact with a positive attitude. But all you want is to see Timo and explain. What you’ll say, you still haven’t figured out, but it has to be something to soothe him. 

At the end of the event, he is somehow in a worse mood than before while you’re walking to the car together.

“What the fuck was that?!” He snaps at you. “I just spent two hours being annihilated by the guys for that. In front of the PR team. And young kids.” 

“I’m sorry. I forgot about the mic.” 

“I don’t..” He trails off, hands slapping against his thighs as he keeps walking to the car. “I don’t know what to say.” He completes his thought when you’re both in the car. You try to reach for his hand and he pulls away. “No, I’m really upset. I’m going to drop you at home and leave.” His tone is final. He refuses to look at you on the speedy ride home. You get out of the car and Timo roars off behind you before you’ve even gotten into the front door.

It’s agony being at home without him. You have no idea where he is. Your heart aches for what happened this morning. You feel so awful about what you did last night too. Why didn’t you tell him to slow down? Why didn’t you show him what you needed instead of pretending everything was fine? Why didn’t you remember the mic they put on you literally two minutes before that happened?

The sun has set when the garage door begins to open. You set your glass of wine on the end table and turn to look over the couch at the door. Timo comes in with take out bags for dinner and a bouquet of flowers. You hide your face in the couch cushion, feeling completely unworthy of whatever romantic display he is about to do. He puts a hand on your hair, tugging your pony tail for you to look at him.

“I was really embarrassed earlier and I didn’t know how to communicate with you about why.” You rest your chin on the back of the couch while he kneels down to be eye level with you. His thumb strokes your cheek while the rest of his fingers caress your neck. “I missed you and thought I showed you how much last night. That’s why it was so upsetting. I can take the heat from the guys. Whatever. But not giving you that experience feels awful.” 

“I’m sorry. I should have told you, but you were so eager. And it was hot. I loved so much of that but I was also half asleep when you came in and…” You close your eyes, having a hard time seeing his forehead crinkle in worry. “It wasn’t enough.” You finish, not having any other words to describe it. He nods. 

“That is fair.” He leans forward to share a tender kiss with you. “Let’s make a deal to not do that again.”

“Never.” You agree, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He lifts you over the back of the couch, standing with you in his arms. Your ankles hook together at his lower back. The hug lasts for awhile, softly stroking each other’s back, leaning heads together and sharing a few more smooches. “I love you.” You say sweetly. He smiles, the corners of his eye crinkling in joy. 

“I love you too.” He murmurs. “Come see what I got us for dinner.” 

[thehollowwriter]

you know one of your fits kind of hints at the fact that Timo was around when Morrigan was alive and that he knew him, so I wanted to know Timo’s opinion on Morrigan and viceversa :)

(if they didn’t actually know each other and I just don’t know how to read you can ignore this)

Dw, they did know each other! Morrigan actually convinced Silas to accept teens under 18 but over 15 part-time in the first place, though at first Silas didn't want to "babysit teenagers".

Timo and Morrigan met when Timo came over to have his interview (less of an interview more of "Silas asks you like two questions and stares at you the rest of the time" tbh) and Morrigan arrived just as Timo was leaving and instantly took a liking to Timo.

Morrigan really likes Timo and thinks he's a sweet kid with a lot of guts (he loves Silas, but even he can admit Silas is scary XD) and a talent for crafting stuff. Morrigan was "the ruffle his hair when he swims past" type y'know.

Timo held a lot of respect for Morrigan, partly because he was so accomplished and partly because he was Mister Silas' husband lmao. It kinda confused Timo that Morrigan was so nice to him at first, but while they weren't close, he did grow to really appreciate it and think fondly of Morrigan

Morrigan's death both traumatised and utterly broke this poor cuttlefish.

Tagging: @distant-velleity @br3adtoasty @rainesol @theleechyskrunkly @jovieinramshackle

@galaxies-and-gore @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @officialdaydreamer00 @krenenbaker

@offorestsongs @kitwasnothere @elenauaurs @boopshoops @am0nline

@1dont-really-know @kazumify @minteasketches @elysia-nsimp @skrimpyskimpy

@casp1an-sea @offorestsongs @tixdixl @poisoned-pearls @the-trinket-witch

@ramshacklerumble @ghostiidasponk @thegoldencontracts

[theemporium]

https://www.tumblr.com/theemporium/744669381671387136/okay-but-if-we-talk-spice-i-have-a-thought-for?source=share

Timo's eye twitching in the background, because he cares about his sisters safety and doesn't want her to be noticeable. And the only time she has ever decided to wear all black is for a weird sex thing with John???

Timo is ready to bury the guy lmao.

WEIRD SEX THING😭

poor timo thinks he has come to terms with the relationship, and then they pull some shit like this that has him ready to wack johnny over the head

and john is always like, "i swear i didn't know she was gonna say that in front of you-" but candy is cackling anyways

[bitchapalooza]

Hetalia actor AU(yes, inspired by the BNHA actor AU specifically)

• Alfred and Matthew are irl twins that got their start in acting as children. They both at first tried out for the roles of Northern and Southern Italy but they were seen to be better fits for the North American brothers. That and their Italian accents were not the best. No one cared they have an Italian uncle. Literally no one asked them. In fact their bad accents prompted the casting list to go more international faster than it already was. They both look exactly the same without the addition of the cowlick or ahoge so it's pretty good Matthew grew his hair out for this role. Otherwise they'd constantly have to correct everyone like they used to in the other shows they worked on.

• Arthur thought he was auditioning for the newest James Bond movie but turns out his agent tricked him. Arthur ended up liking it however and stayed. He managed to drag his son Peter in to audition for the role of Sealand, as Peter wanted to get into acting in something bigger than school plays. His character may be annoyed by his son's character but irl you can catch Arthur being a loving and caring father. Peter however is embarrassed to be around him, just as many kids are to their parents. Arthur is much more relaxed than the character he plays. And Peter isn't as annoying as Sealand is. He's actually always on his phone or doing homework when not working.

• Francis did not know a lick of English when he auditioned. He went into this blind. And yet he got the part after staying up 3 nights in a row beforehand listening to the Google translated script(from English to French and back) to memorize it that way. Presently he may be on par with a 10 year old's basic knowledge of English but that doesn't stop him from frequently speaking only French on set when no one else but Yao and half the writing staff understand him. He even only does his interviews in French because WHY put effort into a second language??? Y'all he's the epitome of lazy.

• Ivan is the prankster on set. He teams up with Kiku, Basch, Peter, Alfred, and Mathias very frequently to prank everyone else in the cast. He also purposefully messes up his lines when his character is being creepy. He'll say the weirdest shit while in the most intense scenes. During the magical pipe of pain scene, Ivan caused almost 20 retakes because he kept making bad innuendos causing everyone to lose their shit. He's the exact opposite of his character.

• Roderich really is a former pianist and former child actor coming back to acting because gosh he missed it. He's actually SUPER irresponsible with his money despite the character he plays. The first paycheck from the show he spent on a bulk of 200 rubber ducks just so he could set them up in his bedroom on his and his wife's 3rd anniversary. All for a chuckle. And to get a use out of them. That was an impulse buy. And he does not regret it. The scenes where Austria is playing the piano really is Roderich playing it, and he asks there to be almost no sound editing to those takes whatsoever. He's extremely forgetful so the staff has resorted to sticky noting his lines into the scene then green screening it out later. He's a good actor but someone help this man's poor memory.

• Timo basically already was Finland before ever auditioning. His friends already called him the dad of their group to begin with. He's a sweet guy and he bakes cookies and other sweets the night before just to bring them in to the set the next morning for not just the cast but the entire film crew too; he has two ovens for this and really knows how to speed bake. He just wants to make sure everyone's morning is as good as his own is. He's just a darling. Everyone is glad Berwald recommended Timo for the part of Finland and even happier that he got the role.

• Gilbert is a brunette with brown eyes irl so no one recognizes him without the white wig or red contacts. Fans meet him and are like "You remind me of that Prussia guy from Hetalia! You'd make a great cosplay of him!" and he just accepts it every time by this point. Every convention he goes to, every interview he does he is in costume. At least he isn't constantly bombarded by fans like Ludwig or Ivan are.

• Feliciano is a very mature and professional guy despite the bubbly and goofy character he plays. Feliciano does have his relaxed and fun moments though, learning to let go from his time acting as North Italy. He's a really pleasant guy to be friends with but it can be a little tough to break through his shell. He's kind of shy, different from North Italy's friendly nature.

• Lovino is a nice guy. He's kind but not super kind, but also not an asshole. He does a lot a Instagram live streams after episode recordings, mostly of him hanging out with the other actors. He and Feliciano get along well but Lovino tends to hang around Ludwig more because he feels so bad for how he screams at him and insults him on set, even though its purely for the show. He apologizes immediately after filming is finished.

• Ludwig is pretty orderly but he isn't exactly mature. He's the one to recite bad jokes and puns to everyone, his favorites being dad jokes. No one likes this. At all. He's a fun loving guy that everyone can get along with. He has fun acting. He's very grateful Gilbert pointed him in the direction of the auditions.

• Kiku is glad his very first acting gig will probably be one of his most successful and popular. He's freshly graduated from college and completely chaotic. He's got a degree in business he's never going to use. He collects weird Japanese products as well as gifting them to his coworkers every Christmas without fail. He once walked into Ivan's trailer and tossed a whole bag of hard boiled eggs at him and ran off. The eggs all had individual faces drawn onto them. Ivan still does not know why he did this and he's honestly too afraid to ask at this point.

• The actor for Chibitalia also plays chibi Romano! His name is Emilio and he's Lovino's nephew. Emilio is a sweetie that pretty much stole everyone's heart. He loves working on the show, especially when he gets to curse and not get in trouble for it.

• Holy Roman Empire's actor was originally a kid who had no prior experience in acting neither had he really been near a camera before. He ended up freezing up his first day. He was recasted by Ludwig's son Otto, especially since Otto had been around a film set dozens of times before. The dad jokes really escalated once Otto was brought on set....

This is all I'm going to do for now without the post getting too long. Plus I'm tired and have a headache. But I really wanted to get this out lol I spent 3 hours figuring this all out with a really bad glaucoma headache please at least appreciate this for my eyes' sake lmao

[vertigoambrosia]

shortcut pt. 2: the actual shortcut

lmao at that markus clip

poor smol ref

oh david was there! i didn’‘t know! i literally just saw him yesterday at progress nyc

btw sexy starr are the most adorable thing

david hugged me when i said hi and when i bought a shirt he helped jack figure out american money

jack was super cute adn seemed shy :3

oh boy i’m sure david has no feelings about this at all

man a rumble is the worst type of match to have against walter

#drei: this guy

i wonder if wxw is gonna use him for like, plot stuff again

#fier: ~jetsetter boi~

listen timo schiesse this is not the time for a promo

also i don’t’ understand you adn you’‘re not important enough for subtitles lol

#funf: well of course

idk if you guys watch the round tables, but julian’s kinda fucking amazing

he works as a therapist for troubled teenagers and he’s in school to be a social worker

would be boyfriend goals except he has no time

#sechs: shotgun extra

well that’s not fair he was on last week as part of the shitty new boys coalition

#seben: timo!!!!!! <3

oh man what if he wins????? and gets his revenge against andy??????

awww hugs

timo you dumbass

#neun: mikey!

bier

HAHAHA walter almost getting eliminated because beer

*tim voice* beer is extra carbs

#shit i forgot what ten is in german

wait no i forgot eight this is nine anyway

brb getting the german guidebook

as you can guess i have not kept up on duolingo

#neun for real this time: francis trying to pretend like he feels completely gine and no pain

haha tim can’t even understand the concept of francis’ shittiness

#zehn: i don’t have a quip for him except that he has a better name than his tag partner

LMAO TIM

#elf: ivan! fortunately not dead!

the only thing that would be funnier than francis winning by hanging out is if he got down to the finlal two and then immediately eliminated

lmao what is this

did julian just check on mikey’s underwear

#zwelf: car boy!

idk if rico meant to make that gear pun but it was good

wow rip oliver carter

oh shit is this gonna come down to walter and tim?

#dreizehn: jay also somehow not dead

*francis voice* look how great my boy is! god wrestling is fun to watch!

#vierzehn: ?

hahahaha what a dick

also i guess the pretty bastards don’t have music?

LOLLL BYE FRANCIS

tim no!

#funfzehn: forever teenage boi rotation

“armed with a mustache”

prince ahura chopping the titties

don’t

#sechzehn: dragan!!!!

MARIUS & CHONG!!!!!!!!!

YAAAAS

YOUNG RICH AND DIRTY

moral of the story: c

#neunzehn?: unidentified youth

~he’s got his whole face, on his ass~

a chant invented by progress re: james drake

i’m not clever enough to make that joke up -- hell, i pause the video sometimes so i can write something down with these

i think we need a promo from him or something to be...well more than a generic doughy jerk

awww bye boys

wait ahura’s second foot didn’t touch the ground!!!

well i guess now it did...

#achttzehn cause apparently thommy can’t count: jurn!

hahaha jurn probably still thinks jay is a nice boy

!!!! oh shit !!!!!

oh god dragan please eliminte jurn

kevin did it, you can too!

BELLY TO BELLY HIM

ok i gotta give up counting but aaron!

pls tell me sasa is back too

god he is so devoted to his husband

lol did jurn get his own custom kendo sword

#zwanzig(?): emil to the rescue 

YESSS DAVID

DO IIIT DAVEY

DAMMIT EMIL

#einsundzwanzig: ..i don’t know this guy but i guess he’s old wxw

oh man i forgot how hyped i had been for jurn vs david

#zweiundzwanzig: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JAZZY

i like to think she beat up whoever was originally 22 and took theoir place

aww rotation no

btw numbers are another example of german words being too fucking long

#dreiundzwanzig: raccoon boy!

full disclosure i get drei and zwei mixed up a lot

damn jazzy don’t kill the boi

#vierundzwanzig: nice monster boy!

OH SHIT

THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS

a good matchup

SIIIICCCKKKKKKK

awwww :(

#funfundzwanzig: why the shaved head

aww come on that was not nice for dragan

ooo only five boys left....

#sechsundzwanzig: smokeboiii

i’ve typed more zs than i usually do in like, a fucking month

‘zwanzig’ is so awkward for me to type

#sevenundzwanzig: i know this guy is a deal but i don’t really know why

oh ok history legend guy out of nowhere

byyyyyye emil

#achtunzwanzig: it tengkwa

he has a funny voice

doug helping bobby? veit joining in? are we gonna have a technical grapple stable?

#neunundzwanzig: peeeeeeeeteeeeee

bye tengkwa

is doug williams veit’s dad

or uncle?

yaaas i wasn’t sure if ivan was still in

ohhh man what if they’re the final 2?

#dreissig: THIS ASSHOLE

KICK HIS ASS

what the fuck are you wearing tarkan

is that a girdle

don’‘t turn your backl on him he’s a snake!

????????marius????

avalanche pls save us

OMG TARKAN REPLACED HIS BROTHER

BOBBY SAVE US

‘what is tarkan aslan? is he a sith lord?’ bless rico

a bad time to be sandwiched between pete and ivan

i didn’t think that would exist but it does

here’s a beef fight

THANK YOU BOBBY

i’m sorry robert is gonna murder u and defeat andy and bring glory to the wxw title again

though i have a feeling bobby will win?

this is a final 2 i certainly did not see coming!

ok rico don’t get crazy; this is a lot of fun but it’s not as intense as shortcut 2016

i knew what was gonna happen in that one and i was still freaking out and yelling and cheering

smoke boi did it!!!!!

bobby please destroy andy

(assuming zack doesn’t beat andy, which would be awesome but is unlikely since zack’s’ full time new japan)

we’re counting on you to right a wrong here

i like how bobby basically did not care about the shortcut match while he was champion

all throughout his reign he’s basically treated the shotgun title like the title

and next...shotgun

[vertigoambrosia]

shotgun’s back

not feeling this new wxw now intro at all

is it mean to say that this and the new shotgun opening feels like the editors jus ttook a motion graphics class?

RISE!

lmao tarkan legititamtely thinks he’s a lion

‘i went to africa to visit my family’

lmaooo how did lucky pass a driving test

also nice to know there is an official rise car

haha the smile on julian’s face when avalanche mentions putting jayfk through tables

what

what

no!

i do not like this match at all!

no triple threats! no more 3 way tag matches!

the last thing the world needs is another 3 way between these guys

smart of tarkan to not try and give a wordy promo for lucky

why isn’t tko a heel he looks like a douche

a douche vs everyone’s perfect boy

wow lucky totally almost licked that girl’s finger

a sportsman like fistbump

hah even tas had to laugh at lucky

now this child is strutting like he’s rick rude or something

did tarkan teach him that

imagine tarkan talking to lucky about women

ok really it’s just the backwards hat & white rapper aesthetic that makes me think of tko as a douche

awwww those little lucky fans

this is another instance where it’s hard to actually see tarkan’s interference

ugh emil still looks like my boss

that was an awkward segment

mystery is splelled with two ys

oh great here’s this douchebag

‘i launched in the sun’ somehow i think that’s...not what andy meant

i don’t believe andy is book smart

idk who should win this match; it’d seem really predictable if marius won

woah those new chyrons...no

the lowercase and the font are terrible

but anyway, and if veit wins, where does marius go from here?

also i do not approve of veit shaving his head

huh. i’d have thought veit would have gotten more offense in - it felt like it was mostly al ani all the way through

omg everyone with a neck pillow thinks it’s the BIGGEST SECRET HACK

i like how shotgun sometimes shows people we dont usually see togther hanging out

the backstage of this venue has some great mise en scene

oh i see timo sheisstheiss in the corner of the shortcut match graphic!

poor tommy never has any fucking idea

lucky is far too playful compared to ninja & fan boy marius al ani

‘his 100 situps’ lol

did tarkan slap him on the back or the ass

why do boys hit each other on the butt

can we talk about how marius’ fear is more a famiscile of samurai armor than anything a ninja would wear?

this coy lil strut

ok i love how the crowd is treating the leg clutch as a submission

lmaoooo tarkan’s face as lucky’s fucking around

the same sequence of silly lucky stuff in the same order is a tiny bit old though

i mean, i always laugh, but i hope he figures out how to vary it up a little

kinda like how yano could do the same shit forever and it was still funny

waht wait is this

no

this is not good wht would you spltiscreen this

also -- what the fuck is the room pete is in?

TARKAN YOU FOOL

also lol alan mistook felix for tas

how the f was that not a dq?

weird for him to get tapped out instead of marius hitting him with a move while he’s reeling

[vertigoambrosia]

dead endddddd

RICO’S BACK!!

woah we’re starting with the tag match?

nah we’re starting with some vimeo sync issues, of course

wow they really went all out with the metal gear codec look

there’s some real nice motion graphics shit going on

and wow they’ve lit the markthalle completely differently than usual

wxw is really stepping it up

knee sox vs galaxy

i love tim’s enziguiri cause it comes outta nowhere and it’s so weird

timo be nice to jay do not step on his face!!!

i really like this dynamic, with jay being all ‘you guys need to remember i’m not fresh out of the academy’

cause since he’s so cute looking and hangs out with francis it’s easy to think of him as being one step above young boy as well

and walter kinda being a bit condescending cause he (and ringkampf) has always had a bit of a haughty side

meanwhile francis just wishes they could all get along (but still fight, of course)

was that a lil botch there? kind of weird after the blind tag

HOLDING HANDS

wonder where jay fk are gonna head next; i would say skillet vs walter, but walter’s not gonna be in the carat tournament

OH SHIT THAT SLAP

lmao tim’s face ‘well that’s one way to work it out...’

uh oh jay and francis are strill in the ring will a turn happen?

k cool we’re safe

ngl i tried to watch the walter show but my attention span is low so i got bored in the beginning interview

i don’t think mike beats jurn, but it would be nice and fun

jurn your beard is terrible and so are you

you can tell mike schwartz is for the people because he has them help him beat the shit out of jurn

HAHA GET WRECKED JURN

aw come on the table didn’t end it? really?

lmao he put a beer jug on a stick?

i feel like that shoulda come bfore the table though

oh never mind here’s another table

‘tentacles of terror’ jurn is such a fucking nerd

i love that ‘good with tools’ = ‘good with weapons’ in wrestling

lol rico you’re not supposed to point out when someone’s gassed

boo this man

man i really have no idea whether ivan or lucky will win

ivan accompanied by his loyal bf

in maximum wrestling apparently his nickname is ‘the ukranian snake’

and of course lucky accompanied by his brother

aw the lights hurt tarkan

shoutout to whoever synced the beat dropping to lucky touching the finger

rise is basically 3 duos

i love this boy with all my heart

oh managers need licenses now??

hahaha ivan looks so exasperated every time lucky does something...lucky

lol rise will not survive until superstars

aw tarkan

to be fair he just wanted to help his lil bro

aww pete

yo kiev’s pele kick looks crazy for some reason

probably his fucking gangly ass legs

there’s been a few sloppy moments but this is really fun

Yay my boy!!!!

aww poor ivan tho :( carat was all he wanted

lmao tommy is not into grinding

still hate that parody of a skirt veda is wearing

*toni storm voice* this is not how you use your butt in a match

lmao veda with the smart move

rico of COURSE mella still holds a grudge

i wouldn’t be surprised if she interfered in this match

hahaha crowd firmly hates veda

rico what are the wrong reasons to be in wrestling

beer?

argh really? that whole spot in the middle of a 4 way title match?

it’s just so unnecessary and completely out of place and totally wastes time

ok martina doing the bronco buster for too long is pretty funny though

‘drunk phoenix’ is a great phrase

jeez toni you trying to break kelly’s neck?

ok i like that finish with kelly JUST too late to break up the pin cause she was brawling with veda

i do not like this feud

i have a feeling andy’s gonna win and then marius is gonna challenge at carat

is andy still using his goofy ass theme, btw?

wxw how dare you make me root for bobby gunns

omg just fiiiiight already

aw that’s legit sweet that vinny came by <3

so bremen is to hamburg what boston is to new york?

(aka, inferior but still tries to compete)

i don’t actually have much against boston but..it’s not new york

fun fact: the classic ‘reverse the figure 4 by turning over’ is actually complete bullshit

OH SNAP reiner ringer about to go off

jesus that finger snap was loud

i know it’s supposedly him cracking his knuckles but even so....damn

that sharpshooter spot was real good

i feel like this match is kinda long, but that’s probably b/c of how i feel about this feud

wxw doesn’t fuck around with ref bumps

oh snap it’s vinny!

still has no chill

andy officially The Worst

actually this is a little legitmiately upsetting

ummm we should probably get a replacement ref...

seriously reiner’s been down for a really long time

someone probably should have sent an emt for him too

MARIUS

...that was kind of a dumb finish; if you’re gonna go with th edistraction, why not just a rollup? especially after a belt shot

lmao bobby has no idea where that cigarette came from but he’ll still put it in his mouth

so mack’s definitely gonna be involved in this, right? the hamburg stip has gotta come into play at some point

ohhh snapppp the good rise boys are out

~saaad bones~

speedball is so adorable

*google translate voice* barry is a nice player

hahaha just last year, hamburg was bad bones city

god that bailey song annoys me so much but speedball clearly fucking loves it

maybe if i knew the song i’d hate it less...but probably not

i just hate singing as chants

also this is honestly the first time i’ve actually heard a crowd do a comprehensible melody/rhythm

hmm will mack really stay away?

wtf spanish fly still seems physically impossible

it’s like

1) flippa

2) ????

3) someone’s on the ground

oh shit what if mack is hiding under the ring????

nice catch, tas

what is going on here

this staredown is so weird

mike noooo

that lil polite tapout

i’ll forgive it cause he’s canadian

god pete bouncer is so hot

and totally gonna beat the shit out of bones at some point

oh hai walter

another person who will beat the shit out of bones at a later date

[vertigoambrosia]

i’ve had a rollercoaster and tiring day so let’s watch shotgun

also i’m all caught up on gwf’s show but debating doing posts for those too, though i guess they’d have to be more coherent since nobody else watches it

anyway

thumbnail pic is rise boyfriends looks like something’s gonna go down

sometimes i wonder why i even bother trying to watch on my roku it’s like, a coin flip whether the sound will stay in sync

ok so they’re broken up, right? it’s done? this is over?

but really it’s impressive how kevin is legit maturing enough to be like ‘that was dumb and i have to deal with what happens’...but is still doofy enough to genuinely write that list

this match is like big brick vs smol brick

throw one meat at another meat

UGH GET OUT BOBBY I AM IN NO FUCKING MOOD

oh yeah bring out the two smallest refs that will help

*bobby gunns voice* my parents took me to a lady-therapist and i fucked her

i’m assuming alpha female dropped out of femme fatales cause she got signed by wwe

i love how the factions in wxw have like, actual meetings

it’s kind of hilarious

oh man ivan kiev’s facial hair is a creeper disaster

look at how pete looks at ivan

hahaha meanwhile, andy watches marius work out

emil’s new trunks actually cover his entire ass

like the dark red, but are there tassels on it? nahhhh

‘almost like a power drive elbow, only with a lot less power and a lot more creepiness’ looks like rico’s disgust for dragan is rubbing off on alan

ewwwwwwwwww how dare u put your dick stank on francis

ha emil using dragan has a human shield is perfect

what the fuck is that picture lmao

i can’t stop laughing

is nero consultling...a cult

didn’t we already see this promo? chris you haven’t been here in forever you don’t even have new material?

ahaha poor thommy is terrified of ilja

i guess sebastian wasn’t around?

i’m so not used to timo speaking on a regular basis

bless u marius

i didn’t even have time to make a rise boyfriends comment before he just threw himself at them

aww i wish we could see all of that fan’s sign; i’m pretty sure it is not kind to rise

i forgot which one of you mentioned pete bouncer’s dick but now i can’t stop looking at it

‘that dirty topknot’ well i guess we know how alan feels about topknots

i love kiev’s diving intercepts

ooo i like marius’ submission; have i seen him do that before?

yay a4!

oh no pete :(

*bad bones voice* so is bouncer good for anything or is he just just kiev’s boy toy?