“But I don’t think I ever managed either… Why would everyone leave, otherwise?”
Ford is tired of being the ‘freak’. Maybe, if he earns those millions his father would be impressed by, if he can be perfect in every other way, he can make up for, well, being himself.
Slightly angsty Ford today, sorry!! I promise he does learn to love his childhood self again, he just needed some time to reconnect with his family and learn how to be kind to himself and be okay with everything he couldn’t become.
This piece is meant to be a little ironic because Ford is talking so negatively about his younger self who made so many ‘mistakes’, ‘wasn’t good enough’, and trusted people he shouldn’t have… But here his younger self is represented by Kid Ford rather than Paranoid Ford and kid Ford is so clearly full of joy, well-meaning and absolutely adorable. Ford ignores the sweetness and innocence of his childhood and early years in Gravity Falls, becoming too focused on his mistakes and the pain he went through. He ignores the need to resolve his pain and uses his feelings of anger, grief, and resentment as fuel to drive his ambition rather than dealing with it and allowing it to heal.
Ford has a lot of disconnect between how things were and how he perceives them in this piece and I think part of his arc with growing closer to his brother and family again would involve forgiving himself for making mistakes like trusting Bill and cutting off Stan and also finding some affection for his past self.
Speaking of, I think it would be sweet to do a piece with the Stan twins hugging their younger selves…
like what if cult member Stan like before the post card thing he finds some cult that's willing to 'help' him since he's down on his luck, he finds it pretty sketchy so he accepts it but keeps his guard up in case their lying or smth (cause by this point he's delt with a lot of stuff and is in a pretty bad situation so he's taking a risk but if all turns out well it'll be worth it) and like slowly but surely they manipulate him, since he's a young man who's living out his car with barely enough to get by and nobody to turn to if anything happened he's the prime target for a cult, I mean it would take a long time cause you can't really break a con artist that easily but eventually they manage to do it and now he's a cult member and idk does culty stuff and then Ford sends the post card, asking his twin for help, only for when stan gets there he's not at all like ford remembers (since sometimes cults have a person change their behavior as it doesn't aline with their beliefs) and he's just like "You seem like you need some help, why not come with me to [insert cult name's place], they helped me and they can help you." And Ford is just baffled and is like "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BROTHER?!?!" cause I get the idea he doesn't think this is his twin plus paranoia stuff, but idk through whatever means he convinces Ford he's Stan and starts yapping about the cult and ford realized that this crap is a cult and they indoctrinated his brother into their delusions, and he is mad or concerned? Idk whatever and like now he's gotta balance making sure the bill crap doesn't get out of hand while trying to help Stan get out of the cult and stuff, idk it kinda like a cheesy TV show/video game but I digress, I think it's a silly au idea, I might actually follow up on the concept and draw art
After the portal is reopened by the twins for thinking Stan was the true evil... Ford would convince Stanley that he was tricked by Bill and that he is changed. Stanley's weakness being his family, he would fall for this.
Drives me mad to think Stanford was this close to calling Stan earlier if not for Bill’s interference, and as a fucked up call back, Bill pulls the “Suicidal Phone Call to Stan” on Ford after they breakup.
Long before Weirdmageddon, Bill did not like Stan. Abusers isolate victims. It was easy with Fiddleford, but Bill knew Ford missed his brother deeply. Stan’s personality is much stronger and louder than Fiddleford’s. Stan was gonna pull Ford away if Bill allowed Ford to reach out because despite everything Bill has some understanding of interpersonal relationships.
Because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have threatened to call Stan. He knows deep, deep down inside that Ford wants his brother back.
It hurts so much to reread the lost Journal pages. Ford’s loneliness was so palpable. He was a deeply lonely man who really didn’t know how to talk to people. That’s what Stan was there for.