#poor lily ripper also bullied her

[gaysonlyocean]

the best in existence whoever blessed us with cats thank thou my cat reminds me of my old cat. :[ i love them dearly -silly

oh i get that hold on

i have this saved on my laptop and i have had it for YEARS, this is adder (black cat) and lily (white cat) two of the three cats i grew up with, we had another called ripper (really ripley, like from alien, but she was nicknamed ripper and it stuck) but i dont have a photo of her saved :(

[xxxdreamingflowerxxx]

Just saw the man who invented Christmas and now I just want a FGO fic of a Christmas Carol!!

Cast:

Director/Narattor: Gudako

Scrooge: Moriarty

Jakob Marley: Sherlock Holmes

Ghost of christmas past: Archer Gilgamesh

Ghost of christmas present: Iskandar

Ghost of Christmas Yet to come: King Hassan

Scrooge’s Nephew: Sigurd

Scrooge’s niece in law: Brynhildr

Little Tim: Andersen

Little Tim’s siblings: kid gil, Santa lily, nursery rhyme, Jack the Ripper

So Sherlock comes to visit Moriarty, informing him that he will be visited by three Heroic Christmas spirits if he doesn’t fix his attitude. Moriarty greets him by trying to shoot Sherlock, but shooting a spirit is pretty pointless.

“My my, what a warm welcome my friend!”

“Who are you calling a friend! You’re supposed to be dead! Now act like one or do you want me to help you?!”

Sherlock would completely enjoy his role as a dead spirit who comes to torment “Scrooge”

Sigurd would play the lovestruck newlywed and constantly talk about the love for his wife and cry when Moriarty probits him from taking the day off on Christmas.

“But, I cannot stay away for that long from my love! It’s been three hours since we’ve been separated and I miss her already!”

“I’m an evil genius, if I am not allowed to destroy this world then the least I can do is destroy your day. You will be fired if you don’t come.”

“I need this job! My son is very sickly!”

“At least I can commit one evil deed.”

To Moriarty’s surprise, Gilgamesh appears as the first Christmas spirit.

“Fuahahahaha! Rejoice mongrel for you have been given the honor to have an audience with the first and one true king! I do not care for what meaningless quarels you have, however I am bored so you will have the honour to entertain me with your pathetic life!”

“I’m pretty sure Christmas did not exist in ancient Mesopotamia.”

For Gil any feast is worth to celebrate and especially Christmas since he is still waiting for Santa alter to come visit him and give him his long awaited present.

They go to the past, but Gudako describes Scrooge’s childhood to be surprisiginly boring and stereotypes his childhood. He studied at Hogwards and bullied everyone with his money, drank tea with his pinky up and ate fish and chips. He played magic cricket and ended up destroying Hogwards with his evil scemes on Christmas eve.

Gil decrees that Scrooge hasn’t done anything significant with his life and contemplates about killing him.

Gudako: SCENE SKIP! Don’t ruin my story!

Iskandar appears! “I am Iskandar! The King of Conquerors and currently the heroic spirit of Christmas present! Let us feast! Dance and indulge ourselves in women’s company!”

“If I want to have a good time I would spent it by coming up with a villainous plan or throw tomatoes at Holmes. I assure you it is a very stress relieving activity.”

As the Heroic Spirit of Christmas Present, he shows Moriarty how current day Christmas is being spent. They go to Sigurd’s house!

An old rundown cottage in the outkirts of London! Yes Sigurd is deadpoor, there are mice everywhere and no proper toilet. England back in the day smelled even worse than during King Arthur’s time.

Despite the poor state of the neighbourhood, the house is very lively. They peep through a window to see Andersen drinking coffee instead of acting sick and complains about everyone’s poor acting.

“I cannot believe these incompetent people were scouted! You call that acting?! They’ve turned such a world renown story into history’s biggest dissapointment! If I were Dickens I would drown in alcohol and kill myself! Tiny Tim would have a better future when he’s dead than having to grow up in this shithole! And why are you humming!? You’re supposed to be a poor wife of a beggar who can’t even make enough money to survive for a week! And why are these kids at home acting like bagage!? Children from beggars would be send to the factory to work!”

He would also complain how his ‘siblings’ are waaayyy too happy and excited to be poor. Jack wants to kill people (especially women), nursery rhyme wants to hear a Christmas Carol, Santa Lily wants to be usefull and Kid Gil is still rich but can’t use his money due to plot reasons. The parents are so useless.

Iskandar is too surprised how depressing that was and doesn’t know how to comment.

Next Spirit!

King Hassan! The Heroic Spirit of Christmas to come! The messenger of death!

So this is where Scrooge is supposed to die.

“Don’t even think that I will end up the same as Holmes! I will show you which one of us is the smarter one!”

Christmas has arrived and Scrooge dresses up as Santa Clause and calls his Nephew’s family.

“The other day you told me you had financial problems, so I spend the whole night thinking of a solution and I got it!”

DRUMS ROLLING!!

Tadah! Scrooge has opened a factory where Brynhildr and the children can work!

“Your lousy kids will be educated to prepare themselves for the adult life and receive lower than minumun wage in return! And your wife will finally be useful!”

“Wait what?! But what about the Christmas spirit?! What about redeeming yourself? What about the message that everyone has something good inside them? How can you be so evil?!”

“Well I am the head of an evil organisation, but please I am not that heartless. You were short on money and I just gave you a solution to your financial problems. Even if you wouldn’t die from starvation, I’m sure you would have died to your wife’s spear. With all your family members working you won’t feel bad anymore about working during Christmas and at the same time your family would earn at least twice as much as you did back then. Besides, if anyone is supposed to be considered the greatest evil, I will have give that title to your eldest son.”

“What?”

“Despite all the money that he owns, he still refuses to help his family out of their financial situation and even lets his not-so-sick little brother die. Even I am speechless by such a brilliant evil mindset!”

So the moral of the story is: “If children are useless they will be send to a work factory and exploited and Kid!Gil is the real evil here!”

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!