#poor zach tbh

[mage-witha-glock]

[alebrijediscordico]

for some reason pastra's batdr streams have been helping me focus for like. a week straight

like for a moment im like. "man, everything is so [static]" n my first instinct is going to their channel n then the live section

[devil-doll13]

🖊 for everyone? 👀

Abigail is skilled at sewing and embroidery, and is especially fond of delicate lace. Her handwriting is horrible, literally unreadable by anyone but her.

Max is good at a lot of videogames, but in real life he has kinda bad aim and coordination tbh, unless it’s with something he can have rhythm with like drumming. He was bad at a lot of sports bc of this.

Jude is unreasonably good at mimicking bird calls. She struggles with tying shoelaces and prefers velcro or buckled shoes.

Zach had an industrial rock/EBM phase in his youth and probably still has some KMFDM and Nitzer Ebb CDs lying around. He tried to learn the saxophone once but it became another one of his failed projects bc he just didn’t have the chops for music.

Apollo is excellent at discerning emotions with all of his incredibly complex sensors, and he also makes a good lie detector. He is good at creating art in theory, but all that he does create comes across as uncanny. It just feels empty, despite his best efforts.

Adam’s favourite artist is Vincent van Gogh. His own painting tends to be rather abstract and psychedelic, with many colours. Kinda still bad at telling jokes tbh.

Ciarán is excellent at poetry in his ‘native tongue,’ but if you don’t know how to read those runes, you won’t be able to appreciate it. He’s actually really poor at board games of any kind and always has been. Yes, you can thrash this fae in chess.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I love Janine this episode xD

"They knew I was lying" SLFHFJSKD xDD

I love her lol

"That's concerning" xDD

I mean they could be schools too though lol, tbh I believe them xD

Ahhh I thought it was the mx for a second like wrong first name but it's the spelling xD

JANINE LOL

Honey xD

MELISSA GOING TO GO STAND WITH HER SKFHDJS

Melissa xD

Their face 💀

"Ja" SLFJFHSK JANINE XDD

Jacob I swear if you do it over text or call- sir get it together 😭 xD

SPCJSUANWPAUUUOH NO I'M NOT PREPARED FOR THAT

Imagine if he proposed or something-

Lol sorry xD ik it wouldn't be I just mean like something the opposite xD

Gregory does not want to be here for this xD

OPE NO CHOICE NOW

He didn't say that I just know he won't want to

SLFKGHDKS JACOB STARTING TALKING AROUND GREGORY XDD

Oh poor Gregory I'm so sorry lol

I know it would pain me too lol xD

Also it would be wild if Zach really does go like "I realized how much I love you :))" or like "are you doing okay?" xD

Yk maybe if they break up now we can fix it later in the episode :'))

Maybe :'))

Hear me out xD

Because this moved along a lot quicker than I thought it would from being 7 minutes in lol I thought there would only be time to breakup xD

Though there is still Barbara's whole plot

Also they deserve better than a middle for he episode breakup You Know What if that happens 😤 xD

"I've been rather frustrated" sorry Zach I can't take you seriously- /lh xD

I think honestly any wording in a blunt way just makes it more awkward for Gregory and that may be a reason for it lol xD not that they can't be blunt but yk

Aww and confused 😭😭 stop he sounded so sad :'((

Turns out Zach doesn't think they're having problems :'))

Maybe if they break up Jacob will realize how much he still loves him and wants to be with him :'D or both of them :'D help please :D

Poor Gregory xD sir at this point just leave lol

I would not be able to handle being there for that xD not bc I love them but bc it would be awkward lol

SLFHFSK yeah you have been xD

See this is why you guys never break up because you're too honest and accepting of your faults and sweet xD except clearly not honest enough lol

I swear though if this is all some elaborate ruse

I don't think it is but like xD

"My brother if I could just-" Bro is trying his BEST SLFHSJLDS 💀💀 XDDD

He does not wanna be here for this and I wouldn't either

PLEEEASE don't do this to me I feel like they will and then Gregory's gonna be left standing there awkwardly as the end of the scene 😭

But hey maybe that leaves time for reconciliation :D

Probably not but I can cope :')

It would be funny if Zach asks if it's from quitting vaping lol like the behavior

And nice callback/consistency :)) or if that actually is the reason xD but yk the 7 months thing so who knows

I thought Jacob said he'd been being frustrating and confusing but I went back (just to go back not for that) and he did not so slightly less immediately broke down and was honest there lol

Wait nah he's not gonna-

YEAH COUPLE'S THERAPY LOL

Jacob xD you idiot

Unfortunately this means they will probably break up at the end of the episode :') or before the end anyway

Since it's not now xd

Help I'm hurting

Let's just hope they actually do and it works xD :')

AUGH JACOB

aoguh

oaughHaug my CAPS COME BACK HERE I NEED YOU

AOGUHAUAIOGH

JACOB STOP

JACOB WHY

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

The way he said it 😭😭 xD sad and funny

Also!hey :')))) at least this means they could get back together by later :'))

Or he'll back down now lol

But I think we might end the scene and come back to it later? Hopefully not lol

Gregory awkwardly standing there like xD

Let me see his face I need to see it lol

It's my only solace here xd 😭

SKFJHDKS Zach's face xD but also 😭😭😭💔💔 my honey DD':

My honeys honestly 😭😭😭😭 D':

Yep Gregory's awkward xD feeling it I mean

LOL yes run XD

SLFJGHDKS MR. JOHNSON STANDING THERE WITH A TRASH CAN LOL

He just wants to be in on it lol xD

It would be wild if he set all this up-

Sorry I'm fine and rational I promise xD

SLDKFHDKS MR. JOHNSON

A H NO THEY'RE BACK CRAP

But I mean at least I get to see it 😭😭😭 they deserve that much tbh xd

Or maybe they'll talk it out :')? Or be almost at that point and then later we found out they did? Whatever works? Please :')?

The sub stuff is already mostly figured out so we've got plenty of time for this and the other one 😭 unfortunately and fortunately xD

Jacob don't turn it back on him lol

Just stop repeating him man 😭

OKAY Zach said "Jacob. You s" before I paused and the genuine emotion like without comedy there was too much for me I ant handle this 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔

Guys help help guys save me

This is one of the few times I think you'll find me genuinely having a breakdown on my blog show wise lol. Like sadness wise, especially liveblog wise lol

So hey at least there's that xd I am not always happy (with the decisions lol)

Pleeeeas don't do this to me

I should stop the post but I think I wanna keep it going xd all in one post and what not

They deserve that 😭

Ik I'm talking like they're already dead but please guys don't break up xdd

I mean be happy but I want you to be happy together xdd

Okay there was some comedy there vibe wise as I figured out still that hurt 😭

Jacobbbb stop trying to pin the blame on him 😭 ik you hate this but you did it

Honestly despite my screaming howling pain and misery if they really do I will be proud of Jacob for actually doing it lol

And I'm afraid that's what's supposed to happen xd 😭

HE DID NOT

Jacob stop gaslighting him 😭 I love you but sir xd

AWW APIGUOSHUHHH- I can't the that time oh my gosh

He's about to do it

Or actually force Jacob to be honest

Or break my heart (though both of those would) but yk in a separate way like about he was gonna propose at some point or how much he loves him or something

That would just about kill me and I would die right here 😌

OKAY NOPE IT WAS A "WHAT'S GOING ON" OPTION TWO GUYS HONESTLY THE BEST OUT OF ALL BUT NOW I HAVE TO CONFRONT IT 😭😭😭💔

And so do they 😭😭😭💔 :'((

JACOBBBB NOOOO

But also don't deny it I mean xd

Tbh I just don't deserve this

One second let me just-

AAAAAAAAAUOOUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

I'm fine :')

Yk what no no I'm not 😭😭😭😭 :'((

Screaming sobbing throwing up how could you do this to me

No Jacob don't deny it sir I swear-

JUST BE FREAKING HONEST

OKAY AIGOGDUUAGAUUHHHOGIHHGGGGH but at least the did :') 😭😭😭😭😭💔

Jacob. That hurt me. How could you ever do this to me

Zach's gonna agree or something and that lessens the chances of fixing it but also that makes it slightly easier sooo idk xd

Okay at least we're being genuine now 😭😭😭💔 :'((

Honeyyyys 😭😭😭💔 I mean yeah that tracks but xd the afraid to rip of the band-aid bit, as the reason I mean lol

Okay bandage my bad I paused lol

OH MY GOSH HE'S ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING WHILE SOUNDING LIKE HE'S CRYING LIKE THAT HE LOVES HIM I'M NOT OKAY-

Y'all this is too emotional for them to get back together they're really doing this to me 😭 I haven't accepted it till now and probably won't for the next 26 years but yk x'd

AOUGHHHHHAHHHHH "THIS SUCKS" YES IT DOES SUCK 😭😭😭💔💔💔

Not as bad as it could've been though, what he said wise :')

Yeah 😭😭😭😭💔

. . . do I deserve a kiss for all my efforts/pain though (the answer is yes but will I get one xdd a goodbye kiss for them I mean lol)

Should you be doing this in the middle of the school day by the way guys x'D sorry unrelated lol

Not really but yk xd

I better get a hug though not just a dejected stand

AOUGH NOPE THEY'RE GONNA CONTINUE TALKING OUCH

AUGHO why'd you have to say thank you I deserved an I love you there

We can worry about Jacob's growth later let me be sad and emotional and in the moment 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️

SLFKFHSK JACOB

SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT xd

I swear if the only reason Zach wanted to actually break up was because of the stuff you've been doing Jacob-

IF YOU'VE KILLED THIS FOR ME xd-

It is not a funny story Jacob bc ik that's what you're gonna say after really when I unpause this lol xd

Yep xD

And I think Zach agrees lol

Yk this was almost amicable xd

JACOB

How many times did that happen xD

I appreciate the jokes to lighten the mood but guys xdd

Also honestly just let me be sad lol I need it xd

NOT THE FULL NAME

Sir this was so close to being amicable 😭😭

I mean I don't want the secret but like xD

APCIENAO IS HE GONNA CALL HIM A SOB

Probably not but xD

Glad we're also acknowledging Jacob's non-growth lol

AOCURUANODAUHOL NOPE JUST THE B :O

SLFKGJDKHS LOWKEY ICONIC THOUGH ON ZACH'S PART AND ON JACOB FOR BEING CALLED THAT XD

Hold up now xd-

The what 😭

Guys I am not emotionally okay xdd

I'm shaking as I try to breathe lol

And I cannot take seriously what Zach is doing right now 😭😭 xD

Desperately hoping I get more in my feels so I can avoid this /hj-

WHY IS THE KRAKEN FLAPPING. ZACH.

YES understandable Zach xD but the yes was also for Jacob bc it needed to be said

Sweet prince??? Slfjghsks??? What do y'all have going here I swear xDD

Honestly fair though Zach don't have to care xd

But also. Did you have to try and break my heart in every possible guys xd

Zach this is about to be uncalled for- :OO >:OO THEY WERE NEVER FUN

Yk idk if I could get over this if they did ret back together ngl xdd

My babeys don't deserve this 😭😭😭😤💔

Fair and real though for Zach to go off mans was just broken up with

Also I cannot help but figure Mr. Johnson and Gregory are listening at the door 💀

:OOO AT TRIVIA NIGHT!!

Okay now Jacob looks angry too and fair enough xdd

Also not the callback to the first time we saw Zach, and I don't deserve this :))) 😭. The and isn't needed there but idk I wanted it

SLFJFHSKDS NOT THE SINGING XD

Fair and real Zach but also

Zach leads the choir song-

Awww honeyyy 😭😭😭😭💔💔

Now give me the sadness back xdd

Yk the anger makes it easier but also I still don't deserve this xd

Also as I've been wondering, where is Janine in all this 😭 your bestie needs you D':<

Yep Gregory's is stills standing there xD

Yep you should've xdd

SHLFHSKDS GREGORY

Nahh for him too

Awww yeah :')) 😭😭😭😭❤️💔

Awww :'))) (the "I do have other pens")

Okay! So! I did not deserve this!

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 12--The Lucky Ones

Yeah.  Spoilers have me not too excited for this one either, I admit.  Maybe that’s at least one of the reasons for the crackdown?  Like Angela knows we won’t tune in if we preemptively find out they boring as hell?  I dunno.  

Anywho.  Starting the ep in 3-2-1.  

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol.  You’re welcome.  

Okay.  I have to say that I do love how nerdy Real Stephanie, aka Max is. 

I’m tired, though, of glasses being used to denote nerdiness.  Because some of the biggest nerds I’ve ever met (hahaha) don’t wear or need glasses.  The Clark Kent stuff is getting a wee bit old.  So long as they don’t eventually have Max undergo a “glow up” just by removing them and fixing her hair, a la She’s All That, I can overlook it but still.  

Sidenote:  I love Max’s quilt.  Because it’s colorful and pretty and feminine and these characters have long been deprived of those kind of things so it’s nice to actually see it again.  

Mercer busting on up in Max’s room like he did feels more like an uber-overprotective dad move than big brother.  Maybe dude took over the rest of raising her young (baby) adult self when the world fell.  Tbh?  Mercer and Max kind of put me in mind of Connie and Kelly, though I feel the age gap with the latter is more significant.  Are they mirrors of each other?  Interesting to contemplate.  Anyway.  Babbling temporarily over, lol.  Onward. 

“Especially for me and you...”  Okay, though.  Where was Mercer going with that statement?  Is it especially dangerous because it puts their high positions (Commander or whatever of CW soldiers/Pamela’s assistant) in peril?  Or for some other reason?  Like they’re part of or at least sympathetic to the burgeoning Resistance?  

That look Fake Stephanie gave Real Stephanie, aka Max.  Does she know?  Does Lancy already know or at least suspect Max was the voice?  Because dude totally seems like the type to sit on information until he hatches the perfect scheme for it to benefit him.  

I promise.  I won’t call Max Real Stephanie forever, lol.  It’s just a hard habit to break.  

“A day without my son acting like a little asshole.”  LOL.  To dream the impossible dream be just as dangerous as not Pamela.  

Poor Eugene in  his teenage, prepubescent feels as a grown ass 40+ year old man.  Kang really thought let’s do the 40 year old Virgin in the most emotionally traumatic way for this man. I mean.  It could have been worse.  But Eugene feels so betrayed. Ms. Angela has a mean streak a country mile wide don’t she?  

What’s so special about ASZ, Lancy?  With half of my faves vacating it, it’s just some place.  

It makes 100% sense Aaron was the one to stay behind and oversee rebuilding ASZ but I don’t like not having him interacting with everyone else.  Tbh?  It was around the time they started splitting Team Family off in so many groups that my interest in the entire show (separate from my favorites) started to tank.  Just saying.  Because this season is sadly giving me some of those same vibes and making it hard to stay engaged.  Coupled with the lack of any kind of promotion or even connection between the characters that we have long watched and loved together and I feel my initial excitement at seeing how they tie all these threads up into ZA-appropriate bows eroding as I type this.  

“It didn’t matter.”  Daryl’s answer to Mercer when Boss Dude asked him what he did before gives me mixed feelings.  Because on the one hand, I’m loving it because it really didn’t matter.  Who they were burnt away so they could become the people they were always meant to be.  But on the other hand?  I’m just as curious as Mercer as Zach as everybody else and actually hope we find out more about Daryl’s past as he and Carol pursue their future because I feel there’s some real good, meaty stuff there for NR and MMB to slay us with and bury our damn bodies, lol.  

I don’t recall Daryl being that big a fan of Deanna but I guess time and maturing your viewpoint is what hindsight is all about.  

Interesting that Pamela said she wasn’t interested in politics at that time when I had HER pegged as a politician from birth.  

Finally.  Something that makes actual sense.  EZ’s right hand man Jerry actually being his literal right hand man, lol.  

Lancy must have been mega impressed with our girl to move EZ all the way to the front of the line and pay off his bill.  The power she has.  

Ofc, Jerry is ecstatic.  I love it.  <3

Pedicures during the ZA.  Imagine that.  

Nothing against Rachel.  But did they ever satisfactorily explain WTF happened with Cyndie and why Rachel ascended to leadership?  All I’m asking for is a little continuity.  If it makes actual sense?  All the better.  They waste so much expository dialogue to fabricate wholeass friendships and other relationships out of thin air but don’t bother to use it to explain where the hell people disappear to if they’re not canonically dead.  I just don’t get it.  Angela, girl.  Sometimes I question your priorities.  Especially when you’d rather feed the trolls for the sake of feeding them instead of informing the rest of us watching the actual show and not rewriting it into fanfic in our heads where so many previously established characters just up and disappeared to.  

On a related note, where the hell was Oceanside when ASZ was starving?  Make this shit make sense.  Please and thank you.  

Is Aaron really that much bigger than Lancy?  LMAO.  I mean.  I know he’s definitely the “bigger” man but literally too?  

Damn, y’all.  Even that Daryl/Maggie hug was more intense and intimate than THAT hug.   NR really demonstrating the difference amongst friendly hugs (Connie + Kelly), family hugs (Maggie), and forever (SOULMATE, I mean Carol) hugs and people be sleeping on the man’s work big time.  

C’mon.  Subconsciously, you know they have to KNOW.  

Did Lydia go back to Hilltop because she felt a connection with Henry there because when has she shared more than 10 words with Maggie?  And when were they more than civil?  Because Maggie was pretty distrustful of her in the past so I’m not seeing the draw for my girl in going back to Hilltop.  Unless she just felt uncomfortable with CW helping rebuild ASZ and didn’t feel like it was “home” anymore without Daryl and Carol there.  

“When do I ever?”  More proof Daryl is playing this CW system solely for the kids’ sakes because you know he ain’t trusting them far as he can throw ‘em.  

Pamela Milton acting like she’ s on some type of safari hunt has me LOL.  I don’t know if I’m supposed to or not, though.  

Pamela’s either a super slick politician or just innately savvy enough to press Maggie’s buttons.  Probably both.  I’m thinking both.  

The self-proclaimed king is dwelling in poverty.  No wonder he’s questioning things.  I mean.  To go from a kingdom of admirers to one real admirer in Jerry and an ex that’s on a mission .  Ouch.  

Took 20 fucking minutes for my girl to show up.  Do better, Angela.  Not everybody has the patience of Job waiting for the best part of the show to commence with her arrival.  

How is MMB so freaking beautiful?  What damn show are the ageist haters watching because she is gorgeous?  

“Because I don’t want you to die.”  Carol’s never wanted any of them to die.  This is nothing new or even all that special in case some people want to pretend it is, lol.  Just saying.  Her facial expression though, lovelies.  LMAO.  The unspoken but blatant WTF still has me rolling.  Like, is EZ more offended that she circumnavigated around a corrupt system and “cheated” on his behalf?  Or that she did it and shows no signs of throwing herself into his arms and declaring her everlasting romantic love?  That she did it simply because it’s the kind of thing she’d do for anybody she’s ever cared for?  

Sorry.  Sorry.  I’m being unfair.  But dude is 100% aware there’s nothing there for them as a couple, you can tell.  And I think part of his attitude toward her stems from that knowledge.  

“...for her shitty son.”  LMAO.  Tell us how you really feel, Carol.  

Cue the overzealous, performatory CZers jumping all over the lesser man commentary in 3-2-1.  He still ain’t the man of honor she’s been looking for since Season 2.  In deed and everything else?  That man is Daryl Dixon but some people are never gonna be ready for that conversation.  

Against my will, I’m actually, I wouldn’t say liking Pamela, but I would admit to falling deeper into intrigue over what makes her tick.  That’s all thanks to the actress, I’m sure.  

Beautiful shot of Eugene in front of that body of water.  But can somebody, anybody please, PLEASE take a pair of scissors to that rat tail hanging from his head?  Because it vexes me so, lol.  

Aww.  Rosita stopping by with Coco.  I have really grown to be touched by this friendship.  I’m not gonna pretend I haven’t.  

I know she don’t want that baby’s stroller close to the edge of that pier but it doesn’t sit right with me that Rosita is relaxed enough at the CW to have her literally positioned at her back.  Like, is it bringing up any of the same feelings in anybody else or just me?”

“Pretty damn good at everything you do, Rosita.”  Aww, Eugene will always have her on a pedestal, won’t he?  

It’s not that he’s wrong exactly but Rosita’s expression says she thinks he’s given her too much credit and yet?  She’s touched.  

Rosita being excited about the future makes me worry she won’t have one because this damn show has given me major PTSD and trust issues.  

I’m refraining from d’awwing again but I do love what the Rosita/Eugene friendship has grown into.  Rosita is so sweetly supportive of him that it gives me major feels.  

I almost didn’t recognize Dianne without her armor.  Especially with her hair down.  

Other than the Henry connection, seriously, somebody help me understand why Lydia threw her lot in with Maggie because I’m blanking on when they’ve ever shared more than a semi-friendly scene.  

Sweet hug between Lydia and Daryl.  I was wondering when or if they were even gonna acknowledge each other.  

Lydia asking Daryl how to know when to walk away feels multifold.  Like not just from trying to fix a broken community but a broken relationship (with somebody that feels broken) too.  

Daryl asking Lydia if that (walking away) is what she wants to do felt like a concerned guardian going “oh shit, you gonna make me worry about you, too?”  LOL.  No.  Seriously.  Season 11 Daryl is all about choices.   You’re not gonna convince me that Lydia bringing up that question didn’t lead his mind back to Carol.  For reasons.  

Why is Hershel wearing Mercer’s hat/helmet thingy making me think of Spaceballs?  LMAO.  Glad they finally showed the little dude because I was starting to think TWD straight up giving all these kids the soap opera treatment.  

Wonder who it was that thought it’d be better for Daryl to be out of his armor for appearance’s sake?  Lancy or Pamela?  

I do enjoy the Daryl/Mercer interplay so more of it, please.  Also?  I enjoyed the fact that Mercer respects Daryl enough to voice a subtle warning about CW.  

“Pineapple on pizza makes no sense.”  Literally the first thing, aside from thinking Carol is an absolute goddess, that me and the self-professed king have agreed upon in ages.  

Okay.  I think smarmy Lancy just overplayed his slimy hand but we’ll see.  

Another quick sidenote:  Mercer is so effortlessly badass and I love him.  

“Everything costs something.”  I’m actually with Maggie on this one.  

“It was an infiltration of the most epic proportions.  He is a snake.”  And Carol’s gonna cut the head off that snake but carry on, Eugene.  

Eugene is tugging on my heartstrings.  I’m not gonna lie.  

Okay.  Screw it.  Eugene and Max are cute in their nerdy way.  I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing more of them.  But not at the expense of more Carol scenes because GD.  Somebody remind Angela who her female lead fucking is.  

Judith sending Hershel candy was sweet but what about her forgotten BFF Forever Gracie?  

So.  Pamela knows Lancy’s a snake, too.  Is this a case of it takes one to know one or?  Who is the bigger evil here?  The devil you know or the one waiting in the wings?  

Interesting preview but again no Carol that I could see and they’re introducing yet more new characters.  I’m tired AF of this.  If they hadn’t completely pushed their female lead aside in 11A for the other newb group Kang was deadass determined to push down our throats, it would be one thing.  But it’s developing into (or revisiting) a shit ass pattern I hate so nah.  

Let’s see what Angela’s explanation points hold for us, shall we?  

Very moral person, huh Angela?  As opposed to Carol who’s what?  You know what?  Fuck the implications of that statement and editing, intended or unintended.  Dude is not some moral paragon.  He’s fallible and human and humanly selfish.  Trying to pretend otherwise, to whitewash the only non-caricature personality points he has?  Does not do him any favors.  Just saying.  

Carol’s always right.  We been knew.  

Pamela added to the list of those impressed by Maggie.  Like, we get it, Angela.  You keep telling us Maggie’s the greatest but is she?  Is she really?  Have her actions demonstrated it?  I still retain some meassure of affection for the character but damn you’re laying it on thick. 

These fools might be impressed with Maggie but they’re never in a million years gonna see Carol coming so.  I know who I find more impressive and it’s not the character you’re using a buttload of other characters to tell me they’re impressive.  

Thing is?  I want to be on Maggie’s side and embrace her return so bad (for nostalgia and Glenn-related reasons) but the blatant ass kissing at this point REEKS of shit so it’s a no for me right now, dog.  

Overall impressions?  

I enjoyed the episode much more than I anticipated because it kept me engaged and you know why it kept me engaged?  

Because every spoke of the story had a link to our long-term characters, be it Daryl on the mission with the CW’s political leaders, Aaron overseeing ASZ’s reconstruction, Maggie highlighting Hilltop’s struggles, Eugene and Rosita touching base as he navigated the perils of love and betrayal at the CW, and the Carol of it all and her desire to fix other “broken” things with EZ’s flagging health.  

Don’t get me wrong.  Last week wasn’t terrible.  I really do have a soft spot for Eugene, I like Connie and I love Princess, and any time Carol is playing superspy I am there.  But it  honestly didn’t feel like TWD and not just because of the tone.  Because of the choice of characters not as firmly rooted in my heart and imagination as Carol and Daryl and the other long-timers.  

The superheroine sisters are great but they are supporting characters at best.  Eugene, by default, is what I consider a long-term main character but without the anchor of other similar characters, his character suffers somewhat.  

Essentially, last week felt like they played us the B-side of one of Princess’s records and while it had some merit and enjoyment factor, there’s a reason it’s not on the A-side.  You lovelies get me?  

LOL.  

Anyway.  

I’m not too inclined to sit my ass up waiting for next week’s ep either so who knows when you’ll next get these rambling thoughts nobody much cares about, lol.  

Until next time.    

[ferryportlandingmayor]

feral chris au: grey wolf (thank you to @krazykratts for bringing this up because this is super fun)

absolutely LOVES the woods, especially rocky terrains/environments. he also loves mountain ranges because they’re like a rocky obstacle courses and perfect for running

he only becomes feral wolf chris when he activates the wolf CPS because the disc got screwed up when it was originally used and aviva doesn’t know how to fix it

martin got super scared when it first happened cause he didn’t know what was going on and was scared for chris

whenever he’s stuck in feral wolf mode, the crew has to feed him raw meat because it’s all he eats

when he’s in wolf mode, there will be days where he’s off in the woods and the crew can’t find him, so they just have to wait it out

martin gets into big brother mode when it happens around the crew because he just wants to protect his little bro

jimmy is TERRIFIED at wolf chris but won’t tell him

chris thinks twilight is insulting

on multiple occasions, zach and donita have tried kidnapping him in wolf form for inventions/fashion designs

my poor boy just needs a break tbh

[alex-fucking-dempsey]

SPOILERS FOR 13 REASONS WHY SEASON 4 EPISODE 1: WINTER BREAK

i was high almost the whole time this is a reaction ig sjsjsjs

Clay is narratating baby boy

Who tf died?

I called it monty fucking lived I FUCKING *flips tables*

So winston shut the fuck up if alex fucking goes to jail 🔪🔪🔪

Monty is horrfying omfg also the way hes talking abt the racial system

period tell him clay

aYO WHAT THE FUCK CLAY??? Is monty alive???

Clay looks so good shut the fuck up everyone

Dylan Minette pls sir get in guts

Clay is going insane lowkey scared

I miss Ryan Shaver n Scott Reed, end post

CLAY PUT THE GLASS AWAY MF

clay is too pretty im-

i hope tyler is okay ;-;

They are dating iM IM SORRY????

i just realize wtf is sheri? Where has been😭

clay lowkey reminds of tony

Tyler :(

tyler and clays friendship>>>

"ass shoes" - jess

Shes MOVING????

"Clay-cray" "clazy" the way i wanna marry Jessica

The way im high as hell the monty illusions i hate em

Alex dad >>>>

The only cop i stan

quick break: black lives matter.

okay Tony serve the looks

Where has justin been

ZACH MY BOY I LITERALLY LOVE HIM

PLEASE SIR LET ME LOVE YOU

ohhhhh justin was OHHHH

Okay but im zach showing up eveeywhere high as hell

justin n clay >>>>

Matt >>>>

jess n justin >>>

god i love this show sm sm

WE BITCH WHO IS WE

tony = tylers mom

Zach n alex stay a million feet apart for no reason

wAIT THIS DUDE

did he replace scott where is scott fuck u

US??? BITCH YOUR NEW GO AWAY WHO IS US

cookies: stan

alex is so nervous

oMG TYLER N NEW GUY HAVE VEEN CHILLING

I love zachs vibes

AGAIN WHO TF IS WE ANI SHUT UP

oh new guys name is charlie sisjsj

oH MY

justin what ;-;

you know what you tell her honey :(

I feel you lowkey jess :(

mERRY CHIRSTMASSSSSS

oh no ;-;

iF ALEX IS BEIBG LINKED BACK TO THW MURDER BY THIS STUPID COP IMA MD RIOT

alex looks so good rn sir pls

everyone: alex dont say anything

alex: SO FUCK YOU-

why does bill looknso diifferent

winston: mourning over his bf :(

winston needs to stoo being weird

Justin n clay getting new phones so sweet

Clay looks so good in that pic ;-;

why does everyone look so goddamn goos in the season wtf

hEY QUICK MF QUESTION DOES CLAY FUCKING DIE 🔪

ani n jess would make good friends with Sheri :(

I am one of the few who does like ani ngl

Justin serves looks sir pls

i swear i lean toward women but yall 😭the men in this mf show

Clay quit being awkward

I want ani and jess to live together

she best see her mom every weekend

sHE SAID: HER CURFEW IS 5 MF 🔪

does ani not like clay????

Yall jess best not be starting a forest fire

I forgot ani and bryce were fucking

ani is thicc lowkey

Yall i have work im upset

Is that the same whisper sound from assassins creed

WTF JESS SEEING BRYCE SCARED ME JESUS

ayo what the fuck?

yes jessica you fucking tell him

wtf is metal detector gonna do bro

I hate boland anyways

wINSTON QUIT LOOKING SO MF SUS

Estella is so pretty

Who is she Jess??

What???

Im confused

Zach >>>>

zach breathes and im all "wow so hot"

is no one going to college???

wINSTON GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM TYLER 🔪🔪🔪🔪

you getting cut if you are mean to my boy

thank god for ani

Fuck winston this lil mf gives me the heebegeebes

justins going to college imnso proud

oh shit winston is fine tho

also wtf do you mean it can kill you ima mess this mf up

wHY DID JESS GO BACK WITH- ANI PLEASE SHUT UP

okay ani pls dont call clay out (she wants a knife to her face)

poor clay has to pretend hes okay for everyone else

Im tired of seeing monty beibg a creep

Ani: *whispers* clay no wait-

LEAVE ESTELLA ALONE PERIOD

fuck off yall bitches

yEAH CHARLIE YOU TELL HER

who the fuck ONG

RHATS MONTYS SISTER WTF

monty n hannah n bryce: haunts ppl

CLAY GO RUN UP ON THOSE MFS

yall mfs really wanna box HURT CLAY-

OMG CLAY IS SO HOT PUNCH THAT MF

ani n clay: know who killed bryce

Also ani: THEY DONT WANNA BELIEVE HE KILLED BRYCE

im sorry???

tell ani clay :(

wINSTON DONT FUCKING TOUCH TYLER I WILL WHOOP UR MF ASS 🔪🔪🔪🔪

zACH N ALEX ZACH N ALEX EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP

alex: worried abt alex

zach quit being mean to ur bf

zach is being so inconsiderate eat ass bro

HES GONNA TAKE ALEX OUT OKAY NVM I LOVE HIM

:( they still wont take them back annoying

justin dont-

Snitches get stitches end up in ditches qnd get no bitches bro you know the code

okay clay dont get all pissy bro

that was a weird transition

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LITERALLY I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES ITS SCOTT OH MY GOD MY BOY

i had no idea he was a senior why didnt they say that

oh ny god this explains the absence of ryan then ig but i miss scott more than anything ong

This confirms clays in love with scott i dont make the rules

LOOK AT HOW SWEET SCOTT IS BEING ONG EVERYONE I LOVE HIM FUCK

clays jeans >>>

i was expecting hannah tbh not ani

omg no clay :( u cant save everyone- it would have been more powerful coming from hannah lowkey disapointed

clay is finally getting help, proud

Clay looks so fine omg im sorry but he looks great

everyone in this seasn is looking so fine wtf

Winston is so pretty :(

he rlly liked monty my heart lowkey is broken

wHAT THE FUCK ZACH

the WAY ZAHC JUST SAVED ALEXS LIFE

WHAT THE FUCK

IM SO CONFUSED

HE JUST KISSED HIM

ZACH SHUT THE FUCK UP

no :(

Im going to sob

I have a feeling theyll kiss again and itll be on zachs volition

The anxiety i havfor alex

Also lowkey zach kissed back

the fucks i give ima write so many fics istg yall

brb ima go get high rq

they are gonna trace it all back to clay im so nervous

tyler best keep his mouth shut

Clay is so funny sjsjsjs hes so scarcastic like okay emo edge lord

season 2 is still superior i stand by that statement

[multiplums]

13 REASONS WHY SEASON 4 SPOLIERS

first off

MY BBY JUSTIN

i was legit crying that whole episode

"can you hold my hand"

that took me out and i started SOBBING

ofc when he was finally happy THEY KILLED HIM LIKE DAMN

poor clay

he would going through it this whole season

he really needed some help :(

im glad ani wasn't there a lot cuz she annoyed from the start

jess was being a LIL annoying this season

like sis why can't you understand justin still loved you but HE NEEDED TIME

alex figuring himself out was the bestt

him and charlie are ADORABLE

i liked him and winston a little tbh

I SCREAMEDDD WHEN HE KISSED ZACH

also poor zach

i felt sad for tyler when they thought he was the shooter

I HATED THAT EP SO MUCH

i was watching it at like 1am and i wss SCARED

then it was DRILL I ALMOST SCREAMED

i liked how hannah showed up in the last ep

i wish bby jeff showed up too

also that scene between winston and monty was AMAZING

also i felt bad for matt and laine cuz their two sons were GOING THROUGH IT

i loved them tho

the ending with tony and clay i was confused cuz i didn't know if it was supposed to symbolize something?¿

i love you justin foley

feel free to comment your opinions i wanna talk

[monotonous-minutia]

Les contes d’Hoffmann (Zürich, 2021) reactions, pt. 1

so excited :D  (accents etc. not working on my laptop again so apologies in advance for the errors, will hopefully go back and edit later)

hey we get a barrel

second production out of [undisclosed] where the Muse comes out of a barrel

she’s so cute omg (and I LOVE her voice)

poor Hoffmann

so far it sounds like the Kaye edit/orchestration

love

getting some promising gay vibes here

love that outfit so far this production seems pretty classic/straightforward and it’s so refreshing

Nicklausse is eavesdropping

very concerned and a little scared of Lindorf

Lindorf is suitably dramatic

and a very good singer/actor so far

can’t really tell because apparently we have a Vienna-type lighting situation going on here, but Lindorf just dropped Stella’s letter on the ground, and Nicklausse picked it up before running offstage. Interesting.

this chorus always bops though I’m not sure what to think of those costumes/makeup

hmm this time they used the line “his shadow is with him” instead of “Nicklausse is with him” and now there’s shadows everywhere

Nicklausse is so sassy

continuing to utilize the barrel

Nicklausse is so concerned

VAAAAAAAA POUR KLEIN-ZACH (no one does this line like Shicoff but so far I really like this guy)

so fun

they almost pulled a Brussels ‘85 here and had Hoffmann integrate Nicklausse into the number

they just chased Nicklausse off the stage mean

now they’re pulling a La Scala ‘95 and putting Stella onstage for this number

tbh I can’t blame him for being besotted she’s fabulous

Nicklausse is SO jealous

“oh good THAT’S over with”

heyyy they took out the entire first half of the insult duet. hate when that happens.

Nicklausse and Lindorf are very wary of each other

v jealous

sus

cuuute

kinda seems like Lindorf is pulling a Pape Méphistophélès and orchestrating this thing with his cane

coooool scene change

Cochenille is so cute

aww yay we get this cute little number

fellas

C’EST MOI COPPELIUS (though he weirdly didn’t actually say that)

YAY YAY YAY YAY TRIO DES YEUX

loving this

Nicklausse taking initiative

I always laugh at this line (it’s a Huguenots reference)

Nicklausse is in disbelief

“dude I’m right here”

Nicklausse just hid behind the couch after Hoffmann ran offstage

they’re so cute

another bop (though I’m still not sure how I feel about these costumes)

so sassy

I can’t disagree

hahahaa

Nicklausse is so jealous

his FACE

so anytime Hoffmann takes the glasses off (or Nicklausse takes them off him) is when Olympia starts getting stuck. interesting device

she’s slaying this 

Nicklausse is NOT having it

the sass returns

Hoffmann just chased Nicklausse offstage again rude

the most clueless of all clueless tenors

yayyyy we get the cute little waltzy duet

I love Nicklausse’s expressions so much

I love how obvious it is that Spalanzani and Cochenille are co-parenting Olympia it’s like “Olympia! Stop disrespecting your father! Cochenille, go talk to your daughter!”

oh dang

I really like this so far :)

[explosionshark]

Thanks for recommending Gideon the Ninth! It was so good! Do you have a book rec tag I could check out? :)

honestly i should, huh? i’ve read more books than probably ever before this year and i’ve talked about ‘em intermittently, but not with a consistent tag. i’ll recommend some right now, though, with a healthy dose of recency bias!

sf/f

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon - a truly epic fantasy novel with one of the most beautiful, satisfying f/f romances i’ve ever read. the novel takes account nearly everything i hate about fantasy as a genre (overwhelmingly straight, white, and male centric, bland medieval European settings, tired tropes) and subverts them. incredible world-building, diverse fantasy cultures, really cool arthrurian legend influence. one of my favorite books i’ve ever read tbh.

gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir - which you’ve read, obviously, but for posterity’s sake i’m keeping it here! sci-fi + murder mystery + gothic horror. genuinely funny while still having a super strong emotional core and more than enough gnarly necromantic to satisfy the horror nerd in me. makes use of some of my favorite tropes in fiction, namely the slowburn childhood enemies to reluctant allies to friends to ??? progression between gideon and harrow. absolutely frothing at the mouth for a sequel.

the broken earth trilogy by nk jemisin - really the first book that helped me realize i don’t hate fantasy, i just hate the mainstream ‘medieval europe but with magic’ version of fantasy that dominates the genre. EXTREMELY cool worldbuilding. i’ve definitely described it as like, a GOOD version of what the mage-vs-templar conflict in dragon age could have been, with a storyline particularly reminiscent of “what if someone got Anders right?”

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone - i’m not usually big on epistolary novels, but this one really worked for me. spy vs spy but it’s gay and takes place between time traveling agents of two opposing sides of a war. the letter writing format really plays to el-mohtar’s strengths as a poet, the unfolding love story is weird and beautiful. it’s a really quick read, too, if you’re short on time or attention.

empress of forever  by max gladstone - i just finished this one this week! if you’re in the mood for a space opera, look no further. imagine if steve jobs was an asian lesbian and also like not a shitty person. this is where you start with vivian liao. you get the classic putting-the-band-together arc with beings from all across the universe, your romances and enemies-turned-friends and uneasy alliances all over the place. really satisfying character development and some extremely cool twists along the way. it’s just a fun good time.

the luminous dead by caitlin starling - this one rides the line of horror so it’s closest to that part of the list. it reminds me of the most inventive low budget horror/sci-fi films i’ve loved in the best way possible because it makes use of the barest narrative resources. it’s a book that takes place in one primary setting, featuring interactions between two characters that only meet each other face-to-face for the briefest period. the tension between the two characters is the most compelling part of the story, with competing and increasingly unreliable narratives and an eerie backdrop to ratchet things up even higher. the author described it as “queer trust kink” at one point which is, uh, super apt actually and totally my jam. the relationship at the center of the book is complicated to say the least, outright combative at points, but super compelling. plus there’s lost of gnarly sci-fi spelunking if you like stories about people wandering around in caves.

horror

the ballad of black tom by victor lavalle - we all agree that while lovecraft introduced/popularized some cool elements into horror and kind of defined what cosmic horror would come to mean, he was a racist sack of shit. which is why my favorite type of ‘lovecraftian horror’ is the type that openly challenges his abhorrent views. the ballad of black tom is a retelling of the horror at redhook that flips the narrative by centering the action around a black protagonist. 

lovecraft country by matt ruff - more of what i just described. again, lovecraftian themes centered around black protagonists. this one’s especially cool because it’s a series of interconnected short stories following related characters. it’s getting a tv adaptation i believe, but the book is definitely not to be missed

rolling in the deep / into the drowning deep by mira grant - mermaids are real and they’re the ultimate deep sea predators! that’s really the whole premise. if for some reason that’s not enough for you, let me add this: diverse cast, a romance between a bi woman who’s not afraid to use the word and an autistic lesbian, really cool speculative science tangents about mermaid biology and myth. 

the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson - it’s halloween month so i’m thinking about hill house again. one of the greatest american ghost stories ever written. especially worth the read if you follow it up w the 1964 film adaptation (the haunting) and then the 2018 netflix series.

the hunger by alma katsu - i’ve always been fascinated by the donner party even though we now know the popular narrative is largely falsehoods. still, this highly fictionalized version of events scratched an itch for me and ended up surprising me with its resistance from the most expected and toxic racist tropes associated with donner party myth.

wounds / north american lake monsters by nathan ballingrud - nathan ballingrud is my favorite horror writer of all time. one of my favorite writers period regardless of genre. in ballingrud’s work the horror is right in front of you. you can look directly at it, it’s right there. but what permeates it, what draws your attention instead, what makes it hurt is the brutally honest emotional core of everything surrounding the horror. the human tragedy that’s’ reflected by the more fantastic horror elements is the heart of his work. it’s always deeply, profoundly moving for me. both of these collections are technically short stories, but they’re in the horror section of the recs because delineations are totally arbitrary and made solely at my discretion. 

short stories

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado - tbh i almost put this in w horror but there’s enough weird fiction here for me to be willing to straddle the line. it was really refreshing to read horror that centered queer women’s perspectives. the stories in this collection are really diverse and super powerful. there’s an incredible weird fiction piece that’s like prompt-based law and order svu micro fiction (go with me here) that ends up going to some incredible places. there’s the husband stitch, a story that devastated me in ways i’m still unraveling. the final story reminded me of a more contemporary haunting of hill house in the best way possible. machado is a writer i’m really excited about.

vampires in the lemon grove by karen russell - my friend zach recommended this to me when we were swapping book recs earlier this year and i went wild for it! mostly weird fiction, but i’m not really interested in getting hung up on genres. i don’t know what to say about this really other than i really loved it and it got me excited about reading in a way i haven’t been in a while. 

the tenth of december by george saunders - i really like saunders’ work and i feel like the tenth of december is a great place to start reading him. quirky without being cloying, weird without being unrelatable.

misc

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid - there’s something really compelling to me about the glamour of old hollywood. this story is framed as a young journalist interviewing a famously reclusive former starlet at the end of her life. the story of how evelyn hugo goes from being the dirt-poor daughter of cuban immigrants to one of the biggest names in hollywood to an old woman facing the end of her life alone is by turns beautiful, inspiring, infuriating and desperately sad. by far the heart of the book is in evelyn finally coming out as bisexual, detailing her decades-long on/off relationship with celia st. james, another actress. evelyn’s life was turbulent, fraught with abuse and the kind of exploitation you can expect from the hollywood machine, but the story is compelling and engaging and i loved reading it.

smoke gets in your eyes by caitlin doughty - a memoir by caitlin doughty, the woman behind the popular ‘ask a mortician’ youtube series. it was a super insightful look into the american death industry and its many flaws as well as an interesting, often moving look at the human relationship with death through the eyes of someone touched by it early and deeply.

love and rockets by los bros hernandez (jaime and gilbert and mario) - this was a big alt comic in the 80s with some series within running on and off through the present. i’m not current, but this book was so important for me as a kid. in particular the locas series, which centered around two queer latina girls coming up in the punk scene in a fictional california town. the beginning starts of a little sci-fi-ish but over time becomes more concerned with slice-of-life personal dramas. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Zelda & Zach

ihatemyguts: Good thing you told me how bubble boy posi Robyn’s ‘rents are

ihatemyguts: ‘cos that felt like such a brush-off

ihatemyguts: I feel kinda bad, it’s low-key just upset her with no shopping trip pay-off 😬

inandout: your first date was today

inandout: the insane jealousy must have forced me to forget

ihatemyguts: Obviously

ihatemyguts: moping and staring out of open windows would be bad for your health

ihatemyguts: probably

ihatemyguts: can’t have that

inandout: mope hard enough and fling myself all over the house, they’ll call it exercise

ihatemyguts: I’d let Rob know but her parents would probably sue me

ihatemyguts: I did some research

ihatemyguts: and yeah, flare-ups fucking suck, but if she was struggling that bad rn she’d be in hospital getting her 💉 on

ihatemyguts: makes me ⁉️ if the meetup will happen

inandout: makes me wonder if her brothers are allowed out

inandout: if they are maybe they can help us smuggle her to the meetup

ihatemyguts: not just a pretty face

ihatemyguts: that’s a damn good idea

ihatemyguts: I can slide in their DMs

inandout: Cranking up the jealousy metre to give me a full work out, I see, are you gonna be a PE teacher when you grow up?

ihatemyguts: *prays they aren’t like 12*

ihatemyguts: imagine if that was my life’s ambition

ihatemyguts: wear unflattering sportswear and give kids complexes

ihatemyguts: even without the potential life-shortening illness, I’d reconsider that

inandout: it tracks that you’d wanna make them 💩 and bringing back the bleep test could work

ihatemyguts: okay I’m not 🦹‍♀️ or 🐯 levels of sweet but is that what you really think of me? 😏

inandout: I think there’s only one rebel teacher coming to mind and I haven’t watched that film so all I know is they stand on desks

inandout: probably not a perfect fit for you

ihatemyguts: I could force you to watch it for our first date

ihatemyguts: and ask you, what your dream job would be

inandout: Netflix and chill or cinema screening of the ‘classics’?

inandout: we could do a drive-thru

ihatemyguts: hmm 🤔

ihatemyguts: there are pluses to ‘em all

ihatemyguts: cinema, we could laugh at all the snobs and 🤓s

inandout: Cool, reach out to me with the time + date when it’s showing

inandout: Are you allowed 🍿?

ihatemyguts: oh hell no

ihatemyguts: have to find another way to hold my hand

inandout: 🦸‍♀️ said she was gonna look up ice breakers and stuff, hopefully it was a fruitful search and she won’t mind sharing the info

ihatemyguts: do you think she legit didn’t realize how thirsty that boy was for her

ihatemyguts: or is it all uwu coy-ness

inandout: It’s hard to tell

inandout: but if I remember my glasses I’ll do my best to decode her body language from 6 ft away

ihatemyguts: aside from hospital, have you ever met someone else with cf?

inandout: Nope

inandout: jokes aside, it really is discouraged

ihatemyguts: that’s a hard one to get your head around

ihatemyguts: far as adjustments go

inandout: getting Robbie at this meetup won’t be easy

inandout: separate ones mean we might not have her there

ihatemyguts: I reckon we can trust you and Kara to keep the teen love story fictional

ihatemyguts: for all our sake’s

inandout: She’ll get her man

inandout: it’s not like bad advice and dating pitfalls are just a click away

ihatemyguts: cosmos never steered ANYONE wrong

inandout: Yahoo answers neither

ihatemyguts: might be confused as to why they’re not related

inandout: [I like to think he’s just sending his fave yahoo answer answers now for the lols]

ihatemyguts: [meme back and forth lads]

ihatemyguts: if she gets her date we could go into the matchmaker business

ihatemyguts: start at home

ihatemyguts: 🤖 don’t last forever

inandout: Rob’ll need to be next or she won’t forgive us

inandout: and we’ll soon get tired/guilty of seeing the amount of 😿💔 spam the chat

ihatemyguts: we’ll have to liberate her first

ihatemyguts: in a literal way

ihatemyguts: not the pretentious, free your 🧠 type of vibe

inandout: Kidnap’s playing into her parents’ fears but we don’t have a better option

ihatemyguts: now it’s my turn for a potential 💡

ihatemyguts: what if that is exactly what she should do

inandout: jump scare them?

ihatemyguts: if she did some actual wild shit to show them they’re being suffocating, ‘scuse the mention, then they’ll have to compromise and let her do normal kid things and everyone will win

ihatemyguts: I realize getting her to wild out might be a problem

ihatemyguts: catfish it though?

inandout: 💡⭐️

inandout: getting her to agree to do it for real would take longer than we have but you’re right, faking it wouldn’t take any time at all

ihatemyguts: get Lauren to picture whatever the hell she’s up to

ihatemyguts: sorted

inandout: + there’s your next photo challenge ready to be accepted, dressing as if you were going on a date with 👵🌈✨ instead

ihatemyguts: hold my neon

ihatemyguts: and think, do we clue Rob in on this plan now or do it on her behalf first, ‘cos we could hit up her house phone with some madness to get ‘em sus now and when she’s like wuuuuut it’ll sound even more

ihatemyguts: or is that a bit evil genius instead of 🦹‍♀️

inandout: Does she even have a house phone? We don’t

inandout: you’ll have to find another way to trick my parents into believing I’m a badass

ihatemyguts: I bet they do

ihatemyguts: can’t trust a mobile

ihatemyguts: and I bet they don’t have a microwave, they’re that sort

ihatemyguts: obvs I’ll just direct them to Lauren on your friends list with a 🤔

inandout: We should probably warn her, in case she takes it the wrong way

inandout: or decides to stand up to them for her YA movie moment

ihatemyguts: yeah, you’re right

ihatemyguts: if she doesn’t go for it, her brothers might be of use still

ihatemyguts: have to focus my evil energy elsewhere

ihatemyguts: such as…

ihatemyguts: 🥁

ihatemyguts: [one of the crazier lewks from babyteeth for the photo challenge]

inandout: 🤞🏻 one of them is old enough to drive the people carrier

inandout: Uhh… that was a suspiciously fast transformation

ihatemyguts: didn’t know you was challenging a pro?

ihatemyguts: and someone with a lot of time on her hands

inandout: I do now

inandout: and I’m guessing it’s not every day you get stood up based on what else I know about you

ihatemyguts: it’s a first

ihatemyguts: not that I constantly ask people out

ihatemyguts: but that is what I’ve put across so fair enough

ihatemyguts: what am I interrupting for you?

inandout: I’m waiting on friends

inandout: this could end in both of us being stood up

ihatemyguts: am I a drag you down with me type?

ihatemyguts: hmm

ihatemyguts: nah, I’ll cross my fingers that your friends aren’t flaky

inandout: Late, but I’d be too if it wasn’t my house

inandout: What are you gonna do now shopping’s off?

ihatemyguts: life is one big photo challenge, right

ihatemyguts: yours is ‘whatever will make your friends double-take when they open the door’

ihatemyguts: it’s a good question

ihatemyguts: we’re going to virtual shop tomorrow but she wasn’t up for it today

inandout: Wait for it and their faces

inandout: + you’re virtually invited to watch movies and play games, you won’t be the only one who isn’t here in person

ihatemyguts: 👍

ihatemyguts: cool

ihatemyguts: meeting new people is my new thing, as long as your mates are down/not the level of nerd that they might get a nosebleed if a girl is about

inandout: Some of them are girls if that helps

inandout: and my brother won’t be there to bring down the cool

ihatemyguts: low-key a shame

ihatemyguts: have to meet him before the first date though

inandout: I’ve got a father you can ask for permission if you’re feeling old-fashioned

ihatemyguts: full set

ihatemyguts: fun

ihatemyguts: mines in scotland so we’ll let you off that trek

inandout: But a road trip is a coming of age movie staple! 😫 Has Netflix aired any YA without one + are you willing to take that risk?

inandout: mine’s a workaholic but we’ve got years to catch him

ihatemyguts: forget the meds, see who gets fucked up first

ihatemyguts: it’d be a journey, for sure

ihatemyguts: do you know what he does? ‘cos so’s mine and I couldn’t tell you, tbh

inandout: Or mix them up and see what happens when you take the ones for my 💩

inandout: He’s a sales manager, he says, but why so vague?

ihatemyguts: sounds like something they’d do at cool parties

ihatemyguts: and that sounds suspish

ihatemyguts: they should have this 🤓 but with a moustache instead of the buckteeth

ihatemyguts: dads are elusive creatures… conspiracy time, what are they all up to

inandout: Not sure that’s the topic Rich has been watching vids on but I’ll ask

ihatemyguts: he can always tactfully ignore you if he’s 😳

ihatemyguts: like he does with 👵🌈✨ when she’s extra

ihatemyguts: more than usual

inandout: Be harder to do that in person

ihatemyguts: I think everyone will still get on

ihatemyguts: unless fibrofog shows, then that’ll be teen show worthy drama, of course

inandout: I think he’s genuinely blocked, he’d need a 2nd account to find out about it

ihatemyguts: hope he’s seen catfish too

inandout: He’d be a fan of the one where the man refused to believe it wasn’t Katy Perry

ihatemyguts: it does seem like the sort of thing she’d do

ihatemyguts: poor bastard

inandout: 😂

ihatemyguts: ultimate photo challenge, catfishing everyone and then going for the ruveal

ihatemyguts: might need more than just a wig 🤔😏

inandout: Dressing like her would make my friends do a double-take

inandout: [pics of some of her outrageous lewks with his head put on]

ihatemyguts: 😂😂😂

ihatemyguts: you suit the 🍦🧁🍭🍩✨

inandout: We’ve probably got a can of squirty cream lying around for hot chocolate

ihatemyguts: inhaler but make it ~sExxxIii~

inandout: [a lil video of his failed attempt to re-create that in her insta DMs or wherever because idk if they can send stuff like that here]

ihatemyguts: Katy dat you 😍😍

inandout: I’ve agreed to only string you along for 4 years not 6 and I don’t have any savings to spend 25% of on a 💍

inandout: looks like the comparison starts and stops with our black curls

ihatemyguts: not much of an orlando bloom clone myself so it’s alright

ihatemyguts: pirate is always an excellent disabled-friendly costume though so add that to the ideas board we should start

inandout: If we decide the next meetup is fancy dress, Lauren will never go back home

ihatemyguts: that’s the mood

inandout: [sends her whatever he did for the photo challenge and his friends reaction to it because why not say they’ve arrived and there’s a similar feral mood here]

[tvdversefanfiction]

Since i have done this 30day challenge on two of my other pages it was about time I did it for this page, starting firstly with The Vampire Diaries, The Originals and Legacies will soon follow I promise.

So if you do not already no I have zero chill and zero patience so instead of 30 days I just do it all in one go 😂 feel free to sound off in the comments with your opinions, open to reading others' opinions and share in the love for this fandom 💖

1 - Klaus Mikaelson 💖 my king, my heart, the unrequited love of my life (fictional ofcourse)

2 - (in order) Caroline Forbes 👑 Rebekah Mikaelson 👑 Katherine Pierce 👑

3 - Klaroline, always and forever 😍

4 - Bamon or Stexi 🤔 although Stexi was definitely a more loyal friendship and I didnt want them together as a couple like I did Bamon

5 - Claire Holt, Love her to pieces, love her interviews and her post and pre TVD and TO work as an actress.

6 - Joseph Morgan, my husband in my fantasies only 💖 fantastic actor who I cannot wait to see what he does next 😍

7 - Daniel Gillies and Paul Wesley, their bromance is both adorable, authentic and slightly homoerotic 🙊😈

8 - Bamon or Elenijah, Bamon id have legit loved to see as endgame over Delena anyday and Elenijah I'd have love to have seen explored at least.

9 - Although neither the originals or Katherine were in every episode they were far from secondary in my mind, so in terms of secondary I'd say Lexi for sure.

10 - 2 and/or 3, most of the originals arc and Katherine stuff was peak TVD for me.

11 - The 100th episode for so many reasons, the nostalgic lookback at previous characters, Klaroline finally getting it on, a Mebekah reunion and lots of Katherine 👑

12 - He is your first love, I intend to be your last 💖 Klaroline was all kinds of epic and how poetic is it that she wound up being his last love💔

13 - Caroline singing at her mothers funeral 💔

14 - Elena, I know she went through alot but who didn't in the TVDverse, she was the victim and stayed within that role from beginning to end and god was she depressing to watch. She was also largely hypocritical with her judgements over things she too was guilty off 🙄 the fact I loathe her and love Katherine shows the incredible acting range of Nina Dobrev though 💖

15 - Stefan, he is like Angel with the Angelus edge, id say the male elena but that would be harsh as he didnt piss me off nearly as much 😂 he was alright I suppose I just didnt care for him that much, if he died early I'd have been like meh! I couldnt buy evil stefan either instead it made me cringe which is weird because Paul Wesley plays unhinged so well in Tell me a story...oh and also Stefan killed Enzo, not once but twice and he can only blame the humanity switch for one of those kills 😡

16 - i did ship Delena till they got together and lost all their magic, i never shipped Stelena but they did suit each other better than Delena or the very ill advised Steroline which should have stayed a friendship! Bonnie and Jeremy made absolute no sense and had zero chemistry so on those grounds id say those two or Steroline, Steroline itches me up the wrong way the most tbf.

17 - Elena and Caroline, Caroline was the better friend hands down for both Bonnie and Elena but Elena always seemed harsher to Caroline and yet couldnt handle it when Caroline gave her tough love back especially over Delena which tbh Caroline was right....IMO anyways.

18 - I cannot say Candice, Nina, Kat or Claire are anything but amazing actresses so I would never say any of them...maybe the actress who played Liv Parker, she was always kind of one note to me although not terrible but nowhere near as good as the others....I could probably later think of someone else but for now I'll go with her.

19 - Zach Roerig, a typical answer from fans I've noticed but he was just so blah for 8 full seasons I totally get why Im not alone here...also so far him and Steven McQueen are the only ones from TVD to appear in Legacies...Jeremy's cameo i didnt mind, Matts however...like when is he going to die and stay dead already? Sorry matt fans 😂

20 - A good chunk of episodes in season 7, didnt like Elena but didn't like TVD without Elena...would've loved the actress to stay on and either play another role or make Katherine come back preferably 🤩

21 - Most of them I started liking then hating, or hating to liking then back to hating 😂 I dont think I hated anyone from beginning then loved them by the end so ill just give a love to hate, Alaric...I liked him in early seasons but thought he came to a natural end when he died...from 6 onwards after he came back he lost any appeal and felt like he was just there to have another dead ex, then to cockblock Steroline which tbf was a good deed but still didnt revive him 🤣 and I full out despise him in Legacies but I'll dig deeper into that come a Legacies themed version of this challenge 😂

22 - Damon wins hands down here, loved him in the pilot, love turned to like as the show went on and then Delena happened and completely destroyed his chracter, Bamon gave him a much needed revival but Elena soon dragged him down once more...his live for her was obsessive to me, unhealthy and toxic and he couldnt cope without it. BAMON would've fixed all this IMO

23 - Okay stick with me here as this one has multiple answers for me...I'd have rathered Caroline or Bonnie as the main character alongside the salvatores than Elena so thats answer one. Answer two would be I'd have loved Katherine to have been the mainstay doppelganger instead of Elena. Answer three would be more flashbacks of Lexi and her life away from the Salvatores would have been interesting. Last answer, Rebekah should have been in more episodes both on this and TO but I'll probs get more into that when I do TO.

24 - The romances, the vampires, the villains and the aesthetic of Mystic Falls 😍 if you follow my other pages you know obsessed im obsessed with the supernatural genre 🥰

25 - Too much time centred around Delena and Stelena, which I know was the main story of this show their love triangle but it didnt have to be...

26 - Elena daggering Rebekah, my heart broke for Rebekah and hardened towards Elena...her biggest hypocritical move of many too!

27 - Heres one so this post isnt all bashing poor Elena 🤣 i love when Elena and Stefan wind up drinking in that bar together having a good time as friends...honestly wouldnt habe minded more scenes centered on this friendship.

28 - Klaroline getting together in the woods and/or the Klaroline moment in the last episode where he donates money to the boarding school...tbh any Klaroline moment 💖

29 - Liz's death and funeral, my heart breaks for Caroline everytime and Damon too, loved Liz and Damon's friendship 💔

30 - Almost all Lily Salvatore scenes, the worst mother alongside Esther Mikaelson....their deaths make me so happy every single time and I will never apologise for that 🤣

[devil-doll13]

What My OCs Smell Like

Inspired by @rottent33th and @solmints-messyocdiary’s posts on the matter no I’m not running away from my writer’s block shut up

Abigail

If mist had a smell, it would smell like her. Smells like blackberries, old books and rain, with a hint of cinnamon. The stench of death follows her literally everywhere, unable to be washed away. Like the earthy aroma of a freshly dug grave.

Also, sometimes a bit acrid and sulfuric, usually after she’s used some good ol’ black magic arts. A foul odour marks things she’s hexed/cursed.

She favours floral scents and perfumes but likes fruity ones as well sometimes. When she uses burns incense it’s usually sage or rosemary, and of course her favourite cinnamon.

Her breath smells like bitter coffee and apples, and strangely also… Iron-ish blood? Weird…

Beyond all this, there’s something else… Some unnatural scent impossible to place, but just smells very off in some way. It’s probably why dogs hate her so much. It’s not unpleasant, but it might make you recoil in disgust just the same.

Max

Pine cones, cedar and other woodsy scents, which clings to him after a trip to the Montana forest. Leather, fur and hot burning rubber from his motorcycle. Also that washed out denim jeans smell, like just after it’s been done in the washing machine.

After work he smells heavily like motor oil and probably also sweat until he takes a bath ngl.

After he’s… Gotten rid of someone, he’s quick to get rid of the coppery blood smell as soon as he can. His breath still permanently carries it though. That and a sort of meaty aroma.

Cologne can’t really hide his natural animal musk, but he goes for anything that seems popular really lol.

I’m sorry guys but he smells like a wet dog, especially after a bath/shower or a swim. It’s just one of those things really, although he does try to cover it up with cologne it’s not possible for him to get rid of it entirely :( poor Max

Jude

Smells earthy in an entirely different way than Abigail, almost in the opposite sense. She smells like blooming life. Like rich soil and flowers, as if she’s been rolling in a meadow or something. Also fresh, clean linen and grass.

After a fight she’ll smell like dirt, sweat and iron from any blood (hers or the enemy’s). She’s always showering afterward to get rid of any weird smells they give off.

Her breath smells like milk and honey, because she always spreads it on her toast and puts it in her barley tea. (She isn’t into drinking coffee like Zach is)

Prefers light floral and citrus scents and perfumes, but it’s not too overpowering and she doesn’t wear it that often tbh. Usually sunflowers, daisies and oranges, but anything ‘Summery’ Jude’ll go for honestly.

Also vanilla, lemon and amber are scents I associate her with too.

Zach

A mixture of leather, gunpowder and cigarettes, as well as a sort of metallic smell from so many fights over the course of his life. The rusty stench of blood has literally embedded itself into his skin now.

His breath smells like tobacco and black coffee, with a bit of pastry overpowered by those two.

I firmly believe he uses old spice deodorant, probably got it from his dad honestly. Like he just never stopped using it because it’s just old faithful and everyone he’s been with seems to like it anyway.

Various ingredients and spices he uses for cooking are present too.

An acrid, smokey scent still clings to him a bit from when he was possessed by that demon, and it never really went away…

(Taglist: @slaasherslut, @the-pinstriped-hood, @goldrose-star, @soupbabe, @bluecoolr, @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better)

[mackenzie-lukasiaks]

audc rewatch: “let the dancing begin” (s1, e1)

yeah. I’m really procrastinating y’all. s/o to lifetime for putting the full episodes up on youtube.

skill=technique

theme=hollywood

thinking about how gianna newborg said she doesn't think that mckaylee from s2 actually used her scholarship and like.....can you imagine going through all of That for nothing. I guess you get to keep the cash but still.

who was the girl dancing in the opening credits of this season cause I don't think it was any of the contestants

"she's my god" please pick a new religion

the early 2010s fashion of it all

why did I think jordyn was much younger than 12 when she was on this show?? and also why is her hair so crimped

yvette really was a whole fucking thing wasn't she

you put a broke, shitty pittsburgh dance teacher on one lifetime tv show and suddenly all these women and children are acting like she's bob fosse reborn

I wonder why they did this first season in new york but the second one in los angeles. 

I'm just kidding, this is still los angeles, it's just a different studio, and I'm just dumb lol.

you know that if your mom starts the first episode talking about how you are Definitely going to win, you're almost guaranteed to go home within the first three weeks

kyleigh jai's mom looks like monica from friends

*spongebob voice* TeChNiQuE

"the skill for this week was technique but tbh I cbf about that because elisabeth is tall and blonde and I always wanted to be tall and blonde so" like. thanks abby. for nothing. also no wonder elisabeth didn't do well since she didn't actually have the best technique.

"overconfident people, I'm not attracted to. when people think they're all that and a bag of chips, maybe they're eating too many chips." whatever you say, yvette

I like how kelly says "bobby newberry" as if I would know who tf that is

asia's make-up............kristie ray, just let her be six

I love anthony doing all his choreographing while wearing a tie and a hat

it's funny that gianna said that in s2 she was hoping for tap but that a lot of the girls didn't know tap. I wonder if the poor experience with tap in this first season is why they just never bothered to do another one.

"the infamous...the lovely abby lee miller" pick one

*spongebob voice* SqUiDwArD!!! tEcHnIqUe!!!!

remember that one twitter thread where one of the pussycat dolls said it was basically a sex trafficking group. is that why robin antin got replaced for s2.

hiphop trio (jordyn, lexine, asia): poor lexine. also never understood why it was such a bad thing for them to lipsync during the dances cause I know they always got angry at asia for doing that but it seems like a reflex that they almost don't realize? so who cares?

I'm all the like white tweens in the audience booing when richy said he didn't think it was good hiphop

"asia, you were born to be a pussycat doll." hmm. not sure I'd want to hear someone say that to my six year old.

they should've kept it at this theater because this alley is a great place for fights

jazz trio (madison, zack, hadley): they couldn't get robin to give them the rights to the actual version of "when i grow up" for this trio?? they had to use the knockoff version instead??

they just tell zach he has bad knees and move on. okay.

oh yvette, hadley is definitely on their radar.

tap trio (kyleigh jai, tessa, tua): I just wanna know why they were facing the back for the ending pose??

"tua, you are asian and therefore your biggest competitors are the two other asians." maybe that's why robin got kicked off.

why did tessa's mom hate tua so much??

contemporary trio (elisabeth, amanda, brianna): brianna was just such a good dancer. so was amanda. elisabeth did kind of get boned getting put with them for this first trio.

abby, it's almost like picking elisabeth because she was tall and blonde wasn't the right decision for the technique challenge.

"a ball of hope and fresh air"

the first richy finger wag!! and so soon!! also the first tearful elisabeth monologue

"let's all clap for divorce guys!"

I'm erin implying that elisabeth played the divorce card on purpose (but I assume that was an editing choice. but still. lmao.)

also they didn’t say anything to brianna??

top dancer(s): brianna, madison (how poetic lmao)

safe: hadley, zach, asia, lexine, kyleigh jai, jordyn, amanda

bottom dancers: elisabeth, tua, tessa

eliminated dancer: tessa

[sidcrosbybro]

Pittsburgh Penguins 2018/19: Explained

Since we're about to kick off with the playoffs, I figured I'd do an updated silly explanation of the Penguins. So here goes...

Players

Kris "Tanger" Letang - a fashion icon who loves to tweet about how much he loves his team. Incredible two way defenseman. Loves to yell at the refs. It's not Tanger if he's not arguing.

Evgeni "Geno" Malkin - fashion disaster. NHL101. One of the best, if not the best, players in the league but constantly overlooked. Shouldn't be able to skate as gracefully as he does on such long legs. Has the softest hands. Would kill a man for Sidney Crosby.

Sidney "Sid the kid" Crosby - Captain Dad. Takes on rookies like it's his job and ninety percent of the comments from players about him is that he's great at making newbies feel welcome. Has adopted so many sons. Really likes candy. Is already a legend and isn't slowing down. Will probably take over the world at some point. Loves his teammates, especially the rest of the core. Has specially commissioned paintings of him and the boys hanging in his house. President of the Evgeni Malkin fan club.

Jake "Guentz" Guentzel - young but mighty. Really put all his heart into playing and came out from under Sid's wing like a champ. Won't stop scoring. Likes golf. Wrote a book report on Sid once.

Justin "Jultz" Schultz - Also known as Jeff. Amazing defenseman, literally don't know what we'd do without him. Missed a bunch of this season with a broken leg but thank God he came back. Has a fake tooth he just carries around with him for interviews. Best friends with Olli Maatta.

Olli Maatta - for a long time we all thought he was super quiet and shy and then at the 2016/17 cup parade we turned out to be very very wrong. Boy went buckwild and passed out on his own balcony. Soft and fluffy. We love him. Best friends with Justin Schultz.

Brian "Dumo" Dumoulin - looks like your typical frat boy but actually doubles as one of the best/most underrated defensemen in the league and the Ultimate Wine Connoisseur. Loves his wife and his dog more than anything. Team DJ but doesn't know what indie music is.

Matt "Cully" Cullen - (A.K.A Dad) Was with us for a few years, left us for a season and was meant to retire in Minnesota but then came back for 18/19 because he Missed Us Too Much. Not convinced he'll ever stop playing tbh. Has the funniest kids and loves his family.

Phil 'The Thrill' Kessel - ...Is a Stanley Cup Champion. Shy boy who doesn't like cameras. Plays like a God. Really loves his dog, Stella. Super Supportive Brother of Amanda Kessel. We are so blessed to have this man on our team.

Patric "Horny" Hornqvist - resident Swedish Viking. Was part of the iconic duo of Horny and Hags but this season stole that from us. Very shouty and very happy. A net-pest who upsets most goalies in the league. Allergic to wearing clothes.

Bryan "Rusty" Rust - soft boy. Great at breakaways and his job in general. Went through a period of time where empty nets just really weren't working for him to the point it became a team meme. Works really hard and deserves nice things.

Matt "Muzz" Murray - elite!!! Crazy good at his job and is going to be a complete legend one day. Has two giant Newfoundlands who are adorable. Was a mentee to Flower and It Shows. Works with charity a lot and is so humble. We love this boy.

Tristan Jarry - eyebrows!!! Also very good at his job. Sully once had to tell him to be LESS calm because he's so chill. He doesn't even break a sweat making insane saves. Fantastic dude.

Zach Aston-Reese - "ZAR" - looks like he should be in the wilderness chopping wood. Looks AMAZING when he gets into fights. Soft and lovely, works really hard for this team and deserves his place here. Poor boy won't stop getting injured though. Half of the iconic nose & eyebrows squad.

Garrett "Willy" Wilson - other half of the nose and eyebrows squad. Has freckles for days. Captain of WBS and it shows. BIG, looks like he could Kill, but is actually very soft spoken and has a little bit of a lisp. Loves kids and loves Pittsburgh. Deserves only the best.

Dominik "Domino" Simon - people can personally fight me about Dom, I love him. Had a bit of an up and down season but he'll be okay!!! Underrated two way player and trusted by Sully. Looks like a chick that just hatched for Easter.

Chad "Roo" Ruhwedel - used to play roller hockey a lot! We don't see him much but he's a good guy. Works hard and gets along with Sid a lot.

Jack Johnson, A.K.A. "JJ" - was Sid's roommate in school. Has a lot of stories about him he either can't or won't share about him. Had a questionable start but has been really really helpful to the whole team as of late. So big.

Theodore "Teddy" Blueger - somebody please let this boy get some rest. Looks like he has a cold 90% of the time but definitely doesn't play like it. He's going to have an amazing career. Jesus Christ.

Marcus "The Dragon" Pettersson - acquired him from the Ducks this season and it was definitely worth it. He's tall, young and has a play similar to Dumo's. Who knows, maybe in a few years he'll be just as unstoppable as him?

Jared "Canner" McCann - along with Bjuggy, Canner experienced maybe the most stressful move from his old team to the Penguins. Left Florida and showed up for their first game two minutes before the anthem started. Looks a bit like Guentz when he has his helmet on. Insanely good addition to this team, could not be more grateful for him.

Nick "Bjuggy" Bjugstad - like Canner, has been an incredible acquisition. You will hear his name pop up about 100 times a game because he never stops working for it. Just wow.

Erik Gudbranson - Large Man. He can really steamroll them. He's too new for me to know That Much about him but boy can he send opposing players flying.

Zach Trotman - called up from WBS recently. Looks a bit lost sometimes like he's not 100% sure where he is or what he's doing but he's a good guy.

Head & Assistant Coaches

Mike "Sully" Sullivan - Head Coach. Angry Bird. Loves his team, expresses his pride in the guys constantly, but is not afraid to yell. Has a good relationship with his players and makes good decisions most of the time. Unless it's an empty net. He really likes them. The fans wish he didn't.

Mark "Rex" Recchi - Assistant Coach. A kind guy who works hard and backs Sully most of the time. Looks after his players. Top notch dude.

Sergei "Gonch" Gonchar - Assistant Coach. Basically a second father to Geno, housed him when he first came to Pittsburgh. Played with him and Sid for a little while. Is permanently done with the whole team. Absolutely beloved.

Jacques Martin - Assistant Coach. Responsible for 'Jacques Squad' which was an incredible penalty team group the last few seasons.

[stagekiller]

 @feltcalling​​​  said:  billy, all this holiday stuff got me wantin'.... to ask...….. give us some lila headcanons puh-lease            

me: dumps everything i was doing to respond to this

 for our convenience I have divided the headcanons in three separate categories, starting from least to most sad and ending with a sweet one. :D

First of all: trigger warning for alcoholism and mentions of sexual/physical abuse. Here I wanna state that I personally don’t like demonizing Lila about what she did to the twins. Honestly, to me she reads more as one of those parents who are still children themselves, rather than a malicious woman who went out of her way to hurt her kids on purpose.

 Second, let me start by saying I have this FC for Lila that suits my image of her PERFECTLY but I can’t find more pictures of the woman depicted, because she’s some Greek singer with a very small following. ( sCREams )

                                  lukewarm sad:

  Lila’s aesthetic is opulence. But because she’s poor as dirt, the stuff she chooses to ‘decorate’ her home with are usually really cheap bling bling that she finds at street bazaars. Because she’s very lonely and emotionally numb, she likes to fill her house with shiny things she can look at and delude herself with. 

  She wears really heavy perfume and accessorizes a lot ( her fingers are practically covered in rings at all times ) . Lila dresses in a very sexualized fashion, without any real sense of what’s aesthetically pleasing. Her clothes are cheap and sometimes... don’t really fit her. ( Jerome fatshames her on the regular for this ) A thing that says a lot about her psyche is that, even though she’s always enveloped in this ‘nice’, extravagant wrapping, her body is very neglected. She’s a bit on the plump side, but because of her age + malnutrition + lack of exercise, it makes her look wrinkly and lumpy ( yes she has neck wrinkles and that’s actually canon )

  Lila will drink pretty much anything available and she often starts drinking in the morning. The smell of booze plus cologne is an especially revolting one, coupled with the fact she smokes as well. When she eats, it’s usually really low quality junk food, save for the times Zachary would bring something home from work for them.

Lila isn’t a horrible cook. When the twins were younger she could cook up a decent goulash. She knows some Russian ‘mom’ recipes, passed down from one generation to the other, but, as she grew up next to Zachary herself and he would most often take care of the kitchen, she’s not very experienced. As time goes by and she descends further in her addictions, Lila stops cooking or buying groceries all together and starts eating outside by herself, leaving no option for her sons but to learn how to prepare their own meals.

Lila and Sheba (the snake)  spend a lot of time together during work and often in the house as well. It’s not unusual for Lila to have forgotten Sheba in the caravan and the snake to have nested in a pile of dirty laundry. Fortunately for everyone in that trailer Sheba has a very calm temper and is accustomed to humans handling her. Lila, despite being the one to handle her most, leaves the ‘gross’ parts ( such as feeding, cleaning the cage ) of being her owner to her sons instead.

               pretty damn sad:

 Contrary to popular belief, Lila doesn’t have an explosive temper. When she’s sober; she’s actually rather catatonic.  She throws fits, of course, especially under the influence, but unless drunk she’s not likely to pick a fight. It is Jerome who antagonizes her 25/7 and Lila’s prefered method to deal with it has always been going to Zachary and crying about how horrible Jerome is so that Uncle Zach would reprimand him. However, she’s not above throwing things at him during her fits ( their caravan looks like a mess all the time ) and she’s been physically abusive towards both twins when they were younger. Growing up it became harder for her to beat Jerome up because he could fight back. But she can get creative sometimes, much like her brother, and, say, grab the clothing iron to slap him with.

 Lila doesn’t refer to Jerome as her son. She’s stopped doing so ever since Jerome was in primary school. He calls him by his first name. When Jerome does something ( or Lila thinks he does something ) to Jeremiah, Lila tells him things along the lines of  “ Stay away from my son! ” as if he’s a stranger. Jerome doesn’t call her mother either. Around other people he will most often refer to her as simply ‘her’ or with an insult and when addressing her he doesn’t use any particular name. Just ‘you’. She’s much closer with Jeremiah, however, probably because he doesn’t antagonize her.

really sad tbh:

  She and Uncle Zachary are too close to each other, with Zachary being very controlling towards her ( a behavior Jerome later on displays towards his brother, in imitation ). But Lila, through the years, has developed a dependence on him. He is her big brother, who will take care of things for her when she’s in trouble etc etc. Zachary is also rather possessive of Lila; he likes to know the guys she sleeps with and has often acted as a pimp to her in the past. Clearly he doesn’t care about what she does to make ends meet, but he does stick his greasy hands in her earnings under the excuse of ‘she’s not responsible enough to handle them herself’.

  In the past Cicero had not only shown her some genuine affection, he had also helped her financially. But there’s a darker side to that, because Lila wasn’t genuinely attracted to him. In a sense, he groomed her. And when she realized that, she felt deeply ashamed - though not ashamed enough to stop sleeping with him immediately. These days, however, she seems to avoid him as much as she can.

sweet :

 One of the few ‘family traditions’ Lila has with her sons consists of gathering in front of the TV and watching soap operas together. Jerome and Jeremiah would most often be comfortably snuggled up together besides her as kids. Growing up, Miah would sit next to their mom as a separating barrier between her and Jerome. They don’t talk during the soaps, but they do call each other when the show starts. After Miah leaves the home, the tradition slowly begins to fade.

EDIT : forgot to mention that the soaps headcanon came up in a convo with @/craftedsanity. I don’t remember if it was him or me who came up with it, so, to give credit where credit is due we’re gonna say it was him. But it’s such a good headcanon I couldn’t help it and I’ve incorporated it to the backstory ok, don’t judge me I like bittersweet things. :D