#possibly too much of those in fact
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first-class-feral · 11 months ago
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brad dourif scrungly feature analysis: eyes
from the “Boys” dourif-hottie supercut music video:
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I’d love to see an artist break this down!
For now, let me write you a novel about Brad's spectacular eyes...
The Strangeness
(Skip if you want to preserve the mystery.) BD's right eye is placed a little higher, and turned up as if tugged from the outer corner. I think it's part of that subtle something that immediately sets him apart. This unique, catlike, romantic asymmetry snatches your attention.
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The glow
His striking, chameleonic blues capture light — even in B&W — which directors loooooove to exploit by lighting him obliquely:
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It's a great way to crank up the eerie vibe of any scene, and I respect Star Trek for trashing that option outright with all-black contacts. (Of course, he still served an incredibly compelling outsider.)
(Edit: I put up a post just about this effect because they seriously do it all the damn time) (...because it's awesome)
Set in shadows
He has hooded eyes, deep-set and accentuated by heavy eye bags. The shadows and textures draw you in toward those luminescent irises, like picture frames that amplify each motion of his eyes.
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Contrast
Sometimes he pops them wide open, creating these huge, expressive magnets...
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...Or squints lopsidedly...
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...Or interrogates, challenges, threatens — alert but defensive, like a prey animal on the edge of lashing out.
He’s said he chooses roles that "turn him on" (pretty clearly in an artistic sense); many of these blend menace and vulnerability, and our boy dumps emotion into every. single. line. This can manifest as an intense, wary, combative look, with eyes wide under neutral or furrowed brows:
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Cry, baby
...And that's all before we mention the tears. He cries, of course, at will and liberally, and his eyes go red-rimmed and wet, highlighting them even more as he pins someone's soul to the wall with his gaze.
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When he hovers right on the edge, they seem to shine in the dark.
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Bared
At times, his fair eyelashes almost vanish, compounding his unusual look with a birdlike or reptilian tinge.
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Obviously, the shaved brows in LOTR add to this effect.
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A couple more things you'll notice here: he'll hold his eyes wide open for much longer than normal, drawing out these moments and making him seem even more alien.
And when he gets up-close in someone's face (which is often), he's constantly switching his gaze between their eyes — totally fixated, as if scanning for emotional feedback. In my opinion, it adds to that vulnerability: to the object of his attention, he must seem like a predator freezing them in place... but it's also desperate, like a prey animal trying to decipher the other person's intent, all senses tuned to pick up their slightest signal. (Gríma Wormtongue and Jack Dante especially have this pathetic air about them: grasping at sources of warmth while lashing out at the harsh, unintelligible world around them, allying themselves with uncontrollable destructive forces in an attempt to establish a place for themselves........)
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TL;DR
The eyes — and how he uses them — are the standout scrungly feature, the main reason we can’t look away from this unforgettable weirdo.
The cat-eye asymmetry pulls focus;
His ice-blue irises are light traps, framed in textured shadow;
His full-bore emotional commitment ramps up the anguish and torment to an aching crescendo that's impossible to ignore.
Eventually I'll follow up on other contributing factors, but for now, I'll leave you with a couple of article snippets about The Eyes:
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Imagi-Movies: Vol 1 No 2 — Winter 1993/94. Pages 11-13: "Traumatic - Brad Dourif". Link
SoHo News: November-December 1981. "Tension and mercy - Brad Dourif glowers for our sins" (an article all about his eyes! But they don't mention the asymmetry.)
[Gifs were mostly stolen from the GOAT, @exdeputysonso — with some of my own, mostly the square ones. Shout-out to @dragonsbloodsnowcone for inspiring this word vomit.]
Thanks for reading!
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beargregor · 5 months ago
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wait i'm curious, what makes you say that gregor doesn't like everyone else (if i read that post right)? just curious since i've never seen anyone else say that
i don't necessarily think gregor dislikes everyone else at lcb but i do think that gregor is an incredibly petty person that isn't nearly as close to the rest of the sinners and even outright dislikes some of them cough cough rodya cough cough which a lot of people just Refuse to see because he's as much of a doormat as he is. there's several examples i could get into to try and prove my point however i'll just focus on what i personally think to be the biggest ones.
additionally, this is going to be kind of long, so i'm adding a read more. read more! read it. sorry for being so wordy. i have several diseases.
Pt1. gregor is the type to try and get along at least decently with everyone, especially if he gets a good first impression from them.
this is less a point in favor of gregor's distance w/ the rest of the sinners and more just a contributing factor to it. once again there's several examples i could point to here but i think the most in your face one happened in canto I with yuri, as several people have pointed out. even before gregor comes clean about growing attached to her as quickly as he did because she reminds him of his sister, we get this interaction.
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i'll go ahead and make the disclaimer now that i don't necessarily think gregor is the most reliable of narrators, especially when it comes to his feelings and interactions with most people, but from the way he acts when the topic of yuri comes up (and the way we still see him act even all the way up to c7, nearly a whole year after yuri's death) i don't see reason to question his sentiment here. gregor immediately got that aya and yuri were close, potentially even taking note of their traded belts, and went out of his way to get something nice for yuri despite hardly knowing her.
i feel like a lot of people have forgotten as much, especially since it's been so long since c1, but gregor actually spent a good bit of season 1 doing the exact same thing with the other sinners! gregor reads a connection between him and ishmael pretty quickly despite getting off to a rocky start
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mostly because gregor can tell that ishmael is pretty sardonic in a very similar way to him. there's been multiple instances where ishmael and gregor have essentially expressed the same sentiment at different moments, most notably gregor's little argument after ishmael got shot with a decay ampule in c4
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and ishmael's response to pilot talking about self-sacrifice in c5
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i could go ahead and pull up more examples, but in general pm has gone out of their way to show us that gregor and ishmael are pretty similar, so it makes sense for gregor to assume that they're friends, right?
this will be pushpin 1. keep note of this for Later.
ishmael's only the first sinner we see gregor trying to do this with in s1, we also see him try it out with heathcliff, sinclair, and ryoushuu
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he's tried to get along with charon, being one of very few sinners that we've seen actually try to establish a connection with her at all
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even rodya, despite my insistence that gregor doesn't like her nearly as much as the fandom thinks he does
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all of these seem pretty fine and dandy, right? sure it frequently leans towards self-degradation, micromanaging, and commiseration, but gregor can at least be pretty chummy with most of the sinners, can't he?
Pt2. hell's chicken was more than just comic relief guys please
i'm fully aware that this is quite the hot take, but i think hell's chicken deserves a lot more credit for character writing than the fandom gives it. hell's chicken gave us foreshadowing for several events, such as the donqui bloodfiend reveal
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heathcliff's distortion in c6 (as well as hong lu's highly speculated distortion at some point in the future)
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and ryoushuu and sinclair's continued connection by making him the odd one out on her team
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which, hey! that implies something about gregor's odd one out, don quixote, too, doesn't it? yes. yes it does. that's pushpin 2. keep note of that for later.
speaking of pushpins, hey! that's pushpin 1!
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splitting into teams is one of the major events in hell's chicken, and most of the sinner's choices are either motivated by very little, backhanded, or motivated primarily by not wanting to be on the opposite leader's side. i didn't include all of the picks, just because i feel like including most of them already gets this across, but i think gregor took one major thing from this: most of the sinners, when push comes to shove, will only side with gregor when they refuse to or can't take his opponent's side.
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now, don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware that this is primarily intended to be comedic relief, but when gregor is being described as having his trust broken by ishmael or nearly crying because no one on his team properly sided with him for him, i feel like it's pretty fair to read into this.
something that i think is pretty important to remember in conjunction with this is that we know that gregor is the type to hold a grudge, both from his general attitude towards the G corp soldiers in c1 as well as his continued distaste for vergilius
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even beyond the splitting into teams of hell's chicken, the sinners have given gregor plenty of reasons to feel bitter. i feel like this is something people have noticed but haven't really put a finger on, but it's kind of wild just how often the rest of the sinners make gregor the butt of the joke
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and sure, we could argue that a fair few of these aren't really made with any ill intent. quite a bit of it could have been meant as harmless teasing, but with gregor being more sensitive than most, it coming from nearly all sides, and as often as it does? yeah, i think he's prone to taking it a bit personally.
Pt3. yes i do still think gregor was the third most important character in canto VII you guys gotta hear me out okay
of course, all of this leads up to the bit of the story i highlighted, doesn't it? c7? i totally get why people haven't really picked up on all the gregor things i did in it, seeing as they were mostly not *directly* said about him or by him.
personally, i think that gregor's distaste for talking about himself on any serious level and thus leading to him getting sort of "sidelined" narratively (which i take issue with that claim, but still. it's effective for getting what i mean across atm) is supposed to lead players to take a deeper look at the times gregor gets held up to other characters and compare and contrast what's being said about them by the matchup. as i showed earlier with his immediate latching onto ishmael, i think this is something gregor himself is at least partially aware of too.
so, that begs the question, who was gregor compared to in canto VII that makes me think it's one of the most critical pieces in understanding his character?
really, i'd like to avoid getting too lost in the analysis of this canto specifically, since i'd like to do a proper post about this later, but i figure i can bury the lede a little before doing it properly.
c7 features several characters being made to perform in sansón's play, acting out the relevant backstory for this segment of the plot. a lot of these characters have rather direct, degrading reasons for playing the roles they do.
outis, a character with an inflated ego who wants her journey to have a purpose, is made to play an aimlessly wandering villager with a single line.
hong lu and ryoushuu, two characters for whom families and the expectations placed upon them are likely going to play a major role, are made to play bloodfiends.
rodya, a character who resents her lot in life and is constantly shown to be eager to leave her destitution behind her and become someone special, is made to play a helpless villager that's too poor to even offer any money to the hero that saves her.
heathcliff, a character that has spent most of his life getting dehumanized by comparing him to beastly animals, is made to play a literal bear whose sole purpose in the plot is to get beat up and then quickly left by the wayside.
sinclair, a character that has two opposed parties essentially treating him as a macguffin to procure for their side, is made to play the character who was arguably the catalyst for this entire canto, not to mention playing a decently major role in ruina.
our star don quixote is made to play her father, the first kindred, but there's someone by their side the entire time, isn't there? don quixote's dear, steadfastly loyal companion. a character which don quixote has tasked themself with getting to come out of their shell?
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hello again, pushpin 2.
gregor has been made to play our unreachable star, sancho. someone had to, of course. you can't really tell a story without it's main character, now can you?
now, i should once again give a disclaimer. i am not trying to say that i think adapting what happens to donqui/sancho in c7 to gregor is the road pm is going to take here, not only would that toe a bit past the line of foreshadowing, but it'd also just amount to rehashing that plotline again, which i don't think would make for a particularly exciting story.
what i DO think is that we can take a lot of the things that are said to either directly be the case for sancho and use them to inform how we see gregor.
and god, does playing sancho have some fucking implications for our favorite ossan archetype.
starting off, the earliest moment we get to see of sancho is quite literally her just waiting for death to take her in a pile of ashes.
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which, i should remind everyone, is actually pretty damn close to what happens to gregor's literary counterpart at the end of the metamorphosis. gregor samsa experiences one final breaking point that pushes him over the edge and makes him decide to just wait for starvation to take him.
gregor and sancho both consider themselves to no longer be human, something which sancho goes out of her way to highlight repeatedly throughout the canto and gregor is quick to get defensive on her behalf for when outis starts really tearing into her
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sancho spends quite a lot of this story denying herself the joys of community and friendship, despite knowing that, even with the rest of the sinners frequently making jokes at her expense and outright insulting her, they were things that she desperately craved.
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and, while this is getting into my "outis is a red herring meant to distract us from gregor's eventual betrayal" theorizing, i also think it's worth noting for this discussion that sancho's fellow kindreds, her family, all seem to be under the impression that she dislikes them and ultimately her departure was an act of betrayal
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and that, despite gregor being one of LCB's resident mood makers and attempted conflict de-escalators, one of the sinners that's most prone to making appeals to the bonds they've all forged together, only him and faust remained silent during everyone's speech
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so yeah, i think there's quite a lot of little details and hints building up to the reveal that gregor's not quite as fond of everyone as he presents himself to be. i do think a lot of this ultimately comes down to gregor getting in the way of his own happiness, similarly to donqui, particularly because he's been frequently portrayed as something of a self fulfilling prophecy, especially by giving him as many christ allegories as they have by way of priest and garden of thorns. gregor is convinced that the rest of the sinners don't like him because he's not convinced anyone could like him, so he convinces himself that he hates them because why should he care if someone that he hates hates him too?
a lot of this ultimately ties back to my personal interpretation of what happens in the metamorphosis as well as my own theories regarding all the times gregor has made weird callbacks and references to lobcorp and ruina, but yeah. i think about this guy and his deeper characterization a fairly normal amount, i think.
to end this off i'll highlight one of my favorite little "gregor is fucking seething and trying so hard to keep it cool" moments, in the credits CG for c7 we see rodya teasing him by drawing a little horse on his window and actively pointing and laughing at it, which gregor really doesn't seem all too pleased about.
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i personally think this ties into the other cruel part of sansón forcing gregor to play rocinante, which is the more literal "he's actually just straight up playing rocinante" side of things. gregor was quite literally made to play something less than human, less than even animal really, as he was reduced to nothing more than the shoes don quixote wore as she got to play the leading role. sansón directly makes jokes about gregor being nothing more than shoes in the play twice, which adds to this reading, i think.
this, imo, really plays into the adaptation of the metamorphosis! i've seen a lot of readings for the book that posit that, despite being the protagonist, gregor samsa can't really be considered the main character due to nearly everything he experiences in it being used to further his family's character development at his expense, which i think fits nicely with limbus gregor seemingly having the most said about him through indirect means by holding him up to other characters. also it's rodya carelessly making fun of His Big Major Insecurities™ again like she did in c1 which i always find fun. rodya i love you but god you're the worst.
#beargregor's property#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#something to bear in mind#beargregor's analysis#beargregor's theories#do i bother tagging both of those i feel like i do#oh also.#long post#sorry guys i promised i would try and stay brief when i set out to respond to this ask and before i knew it seven hours passed#my bad#does this give me normal gregor fan cred#i'm fully preparing myself to be screenshotted and posted to twitter or reddit with people making fun of my reading of him but idrc honestl#also i'm really hoping that LCB regular check up has donqui actually like#confront gregor about the fact that he was playing her in sansón's plays#i've seen people insinuate that any deeper reading to the roles they got in them is doing too much#and while i really don't agree with that just due to how much sansón fit the roles to be as cruel as possible to their sinners#i do think at the very bare minimum that the comparisons drawn between gregor and sancho are Very Intentional#despite gregor's supposed lack of proper Deep character moments people love to claim i really do think that we know a lot about him#significantly more than people think we do#just because so much of it has been told to us indirectly or has this aspect of plausible deniability to it#just due to gregor being the way he is#a lot of these smaller subtler details in his proper main writing get highlighted more in his IDs and EGO#like gregor's pettiness and grudge holding in AEDD or the aforementioned self-fulfilling prophecy-ness of priest and garden of thorns#anyway. that's it. gregor is fat by the way did i mention that. also very hairy. refer to my url for more details.#ignore how i just can't shut up about him i promise i'm normal. i promise it's over i can rant about him more another day. i swear.
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dennisboobs · 8 days ago
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one day i'll post my fic and you can finally witness this monster of a playlist that fuels my insanity
#but for now. i write notes about electrical service box grounding (suffering)#im literally motivated to get Ahead with my courseload so i can write + draw im going insane not being able to do anything creatively#it was a mistake signing on for 5 self-driven courses in a semester btw. just in case anyone was wondering.#if youre considering it that's the devil speaking#or your business partner who wants you to be able to work sooner i suppose#anyway the dennis playlist i have posted in the past is a decoy this is the real one#i refuse to have overlap and i prioritize this one lol#i have a super secret charden playlist that i can't have overlap with too but thats not important.#i dont think anybody will see That one....... its for me........#north dakota fic playlist is crazy because i'm like holy shit this song is perfect what the hell (wrote the fic)#my brain and music have a symbiotic relationship in that i am inspired by songs and then the direction the fic takes also opens up new musi#considering a minor rewrite bc i like the picture painted by a song if i match up with lyrics#also lowkey highkey how vicky works as well i iron out details while sorting thru music#it usually helps to inspire me and broaden my ambitions a little more than i would normally go for#i think north dakota fic has spun into this big web rather than this very focused thesis Because i've got songs about multiple relationship#ie. thinking about mandy and dennis' arrangement. boundaries and feelings (not romantic or sexual. something else.)#it's precisely because of their history that dennis is distant and gives her more space than is necessary in every possible way#it's not out of respect for her or this odd sort of truce they have for their kid's sake#it's like. if i let you any closer i'm going to run. but god do i wish i could. when you Already know so much. it'd be so easy.#dennis enjoys domesticity. so he can't enjoy anything about being here. he's punishing himself and he's here for his son Only#sleeping on the couch or in a hotel instead of in the bedroom because he could get comfortable sleeping with mandy#they cant afford a bigger apartment and she's fine with it. he knows this. but Fuck No.#dennis' weakness... sleeping With someone. (no i will Never stop thinking about maureen spooning him in the 6x02 script. fucking lorddd)#he craves casual intimacy with her in the same way he craves it with mac. and he could. but she knows him. (he could Let her know him.)#and she sees this in him and Offers freely. offers him help. offers the bare minimum. and he can't have that. it's compassion. it's pity.#it's her seeing someone who is desperate to break open the shell that encases him but knowing it'd do horrible things if she did it for him#it's not even a matter of pride. it's about relinquishing control. he's So out of his element and has no hope of finding a foothold here#this is a charden fic btw. this is a charden fic where mandy is his partner. in this bizarre queerplatonic lavender marriage ass way#she's literally just his friend. dennis doesn't have any of those.#i thoroughly enjoy like. the contrast of her to mac and charlie and also the simple fact that dennis is insane
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pinkfestivalpeanuttree · 5 days ago
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#personally i think chapter 5 taking place in the flower shop is pretty much a fact.#it's barely a theory and more just picking up on obvious foreshadowing#but i'm willing to consider it taking place in a later chapter due to prophecy-diverting shenanigans#now the light world segment and the festival is something i'm more unsure about#i'm leaning towards chapter 6 being something super out there and breaking the format of the narrative thus far#even more so than chapter 3 and 4#due to gerson saying the lord of the hammer series was never continued after chapter 5#i think an outdoors dark world with the possibility of bringing many of the hometown characters into the dark world#could be an interesting twist for the plot to take; and sort of makes sense by upping the stakes now that we've faced a titan#continuing to put more lightners at risk; noelle + berdly; then toriel & undyne; asgore and carol probably too#and although we've faced a titan we still don't know what exactly the roaring entails or seen how it affects lightners#like there was one titan but the roaring didn't happen. would the knight have to summon multiple titans to unleash the roaring?#would the titan just start making more titans on its own (like the spawn? would those mature into full titans?) apparently the roaring#would turn all darkners to stone like how they do when they're in the “wrong” dark world. how does that work? how does the titans'#presence affect the dark worlds themselves? and how would it affect the light world?#the roaring apparently traps the lightners in an eternal night right?? so would all lightners be dragged into a dark world; would a fountai#just subsume the entire world?#hence: outdoor dark world being a possibility.#but idk!!! maybe these kids can actually catch a break for once and just get up to normal teen shenanigans at the festival#unlikely but we'll see#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#utdr#polls#epilogue speaks#edit: okay i thought of the possibility of flower king dark world AND festival dark world in the same chapter#but i feel like that's extremely unlikely#there's been a decent amount of foreshadowing and buildup for both an asgore centric dark world and the festival#so if either of those were to get a dark world#i feel like they'd have their own chapter dedicated to themselves
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grahamcarmen · 9 months ago
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And my thing STILL is that as carmen gets a stronger sense of her past and better connections with her friends and allies the need/desire for Gray in her life doesn't decrease and dissapate, it INCREASES and is refined. All while constantly being more sincerely layered in romantic tones as the show goes on.
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jijunbzz · 11 months ago
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Canids/Canidae! They are much easier to edit, so I give you all the sinners from this family in one post at once. I understood a lot of my mistakes seeing Meur and his perfect hair. Probably the most important point is that, despite the presence of references in the form of specific animals, hybrids do not always have a clearly defined breed or resemblance to a regular animal. For example, Sinclair is based on both an eagle and an owl. And Heathcliff in general has no breed, he is a stray dog ​​that is easy to spot on the street.
Now about the Canids/Canidae themselves in general! They are classified as mammals and are much closer to humans than ornithoids. Ironically, this is what causes both affection and outright disgust in homosapiens.
They are not for nothing classified as predators, like their "relatives" the felids. The problems of aggression and protection of their territory are very acute among predators, as is the ability to maintain hygiene. Smell is very, very important to them. (But you can meet both very neat, good-smelling Canids, and hybrids with their own natural "smell")
Probably the most common in terms of numbers, since they almost didn't have to adapt to life surrounded by human things. And the offices were happy with the appearance of dexterous, hunting-focused fixers. Not to mention the flourishing of pharmaceuticals related to hormone control.
Speaking of the latter. All hybrids living in Nests, especially predators, must take medicine that reduce the production of certain hormones. Obviously, those who can't afford it (or refuse to take them), in addition to taxes, often end up outside the Nests. Rules of the City are quite cruel in a lot of ways, huh.
There is a stereotype that canids believe in a strict hierarchy. Just like among humans, it is built with the help of strength and influence, and perhaps there are no special differences between hybrids and humans in this aspect.
Canids are hairy (very hairy with fluff and fur everywhere) and are divided into two branches in this matter: those who grow hair/beard/mustache and those who constantly get rid of them. They quarrel among themselves because of this, although the root of the conflict is in the human attitude to the issue. In general, there are predators who try to look as much like humans as possible (hide their tail and ears) and those who despise the latter, surrendering to their animal nature. Of course, there are those who are somewhere in the middle. There are those who hide against their will.
Let's finish with the fact that Heathcliff lived in a house filled with humans while being a hybrid and… This had serious consequences. Both for him personally and for his relationship with Catherine.
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godblooded · 3 months ago
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the whackiest piece of characterization i’ve ever decided to create was the literal novel-length queer fanfic that wasn’t a fanfic in which alana has a tumultuous several year long love affair with an extremely dubious rich photographer who is so fucking messy she eventually leaves her and is the source of all her trust issues as well as an extremely public left at the altar humiliation. when she is only like. 21.
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longagoitwastuesday · 10 months ago
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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quaranmine · 8 months ago
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the amount of math i put into figuring out my PTO is honestly so funny. i've probably spent like 2 hours this week and last week just playing with the leave calculator spreadsheet my coworker gave me. this morning i added a sheet for 2026 so now i'm calculating my PTO out that far. i basically already have a plan of how i'm taking time off for 2025 so as to maximize my time off in 2026. i dont think this is a normal level of attention to detail but at least i'm having fun
#(at my job i can accrue a certain amount of PTO that then becomes 'use or lose' because only so much carries over each year)#so by the mythical year 2026 i could in fact end up with 121 hours of use or lose by the end of it#aka i am Forced to take off 15 days (121 hrs) that year or it'll just be wiped#oh dear oh no! however could i manage to take 15 days off! <- DESPERATELY wants to be in this position as soon as possible#my issue is that i keep taking too much time off so i havent hit the maximum cap yet lmao#like if i just chilled out i could reach it next year#but chilling out is not in my vocabulary. i have places to go and people to see#therefore i cannot reach use or lose in 2025 BUT i can reach it in 2026....if i don't end up spending too much of what i accrue first#so i have vauge plans next year that havent solidified and i keep trying out stuff to see how many hours it would leave me with#historically my methods of maximizing time are:#1) work a flexible schedule with 9 hour days one pay period in order to get a day off for 'free' (this is how i'll get black friday off)#2) work over time and bank those hours as 'credit' time. i can have up to 24 hours/3 days worth of that stored#(i can easily do this long term by just like. working an extra hour every week and it'll add up lol)#3) receiving a time off award if management loves me enough (i normally get a free 8 hours award each year but i can't bet on this)#4) earning travel comp time by working overtime via work travel (such as your flight getting in at 8 pm or whatever)#5) earning normal comp time by attending a work event outside of normal hours (i.e. that time i worked on saturday)#these are all ways to get time off without dipping into PTO so that i can let the PTO accumulate#......as you can see i'm Very normal about this
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nexus-nebulae · 4 months ago
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"why are you so worried abt random accidents, stuff like that rarely ever happens" well you see I'm too disabled to ever evacuate a situation on my own, so I'd rather be a safety advocate now than become a statistic later
#like. part of the reason i avoid large crowded events at all costs unless they are outdoors#is because i know for a fact i would more likely be a victim of crowd crush than any disaster like a fire#i am slow. i am very fragile. i have extremely poor balance#even if i could walk on that particular day (which is becoming less and less likely by the month)#i would be knocked over almost immediately by a light shove and be trampled#as well as like. my diminishing ability to make it UP stairs in the event of a fire in my apartment#because i live in a basement apartment and there is no elevator or alternative way upstairs in this building#if i were on an upper floor i would bear the injuries and just throw myself down the stairs if it were that severe of an emergency#i know far too well how to protect myself from a hard fall and would likely be able to avoid too severe an injury there#but if i had to crawl up the stairs i don't know if i could make it#these things are also why i fear car accidents so much#i physically cannot use an airbag without it breaking my collarbone; my height and general brittleness guarantee that#so it's just not. active. on my side of the car. like it was manually disabled#and I'm already so severely disabled i just. i can't emotionally handle something else. on top of everything#i have a do not resuscitate order in place bc of that. so if my heart stops for any reason they shouldn't try to restart it#that's a recent choice bc like. i can already barely handle the emotional toll of my current disabilities getting worse#i would not be able to handle something new unless it were like. a more severe form of one i already handle well like. losing my legs#i miss running but it wasn't as hard to give up as; say; losing use of my hands- they're the only way i can do ANYTHING nowadays#the few times my joint pain got bad enough that i fully lost use of my hands for a few days were absolute torment#and I'm far far too scared of my voice being recorded to use anything with speech to text like. it's a BAD paranoia i can't shake it#so i would just kind of. be locked out from most tech. and THAT is currently the only way it's possible for me to be social#so i would actually just fully lose my mind like it's already fragile enough i would break i would just break#i love large transport vehicles but i struggle to trust the safety of most other than trains because those tend to be. fairly safe#I've watched enough train disaster videos to know how robust the rules and regulations of modern trains are#(all regulations are written in blood!)#i trust cars very little though and since buses run on the same streets i worry. a Lot#not that there's any buses that run near my apartment the closest bus stop is three blocks away and it only comes twice a day#and it only runs to the college and nowhere else so there's. very little point to me using it#and very few ways for me to even access it in my current physical state#it's very much not an accessible bus stop the sidewalks are diagonal in most places and my right wheel is malfunctioning now bc of it
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djarinova · 6 months ago
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me when everyone i know seems to have closer friendships than i do
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moeblob · 2 years ago
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Pen doodles from yesterday and then digital for today
Katale and Rudyard but as little crime babies. Since he's known her for a while and just thought she looked like a little street thug despite being higher ranking than him in the crime organization at first, the cat-ear hairstyle was just A Thing for her. And it spawned the nickname he would use in private of "Kitty" and even when she grows her hair out and he grays even more he still calls her Kitty in private. They're literally just bffs who do crime and what more can you want of them??
#my characters#time for more lore in the tags#so it was brought to my attention that the funniest thing possible is to give them a few bases with my favorite meme#the color theory meme where everything is just too reminiscent of a bloody massacre#because honestly katale would be like hey rud hey i have the FUNNIEST idea ever look at this carpet pattern#and he looks at the very horrific carpet and just says go on#like keep going this is funny and very much the funniest thing we can do as crime lords keep going#and they do actually have that kind of decor in one of the nicer buildings#and the poor little agent who is on a mission to kill them walks in like HOLY CRAP ITS A MASSAC-- thats the carpet that is JUST the carpet#and has to take a minute to file that information away before proceeding#then stuff happens and the two crime bosses are like oh yeah that agent is our son now we adopted him its fine he can be here#also ruds sense of humor is super dry and he doesnt really SHOW the fact hes amused much but thats what makes kitty so happy when he jokes#he sounds very serious but hes enjoying himself and thats wonderful#like those weather reporters who see an off the wall temp and go OH YEAH EVERYONES DEAD IN THAT CITY#or the other weather man video where only some of the temps are off the wall so hes like#oh yeah this seems to be the safe area but if you go up north a bit its basically melted - there isnt anything to loot there dont bother#that is his sense of humor. hes super casual and acts like he didnt just say the funniest thing on the planet
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connormoving · 9 months ago
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like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk
#i dont even want like. Ooh major graphical updates whatever if sims 5 was announced and they looked photorealizstic id hurl i wouldnt play#it#my ideal would ig be sims 4 with a touch more realism style wise. if this makes sense#like its a bittt too cartoony for me but i like the like. Clay hair or whatever SJFNFJ. and i think having it be simple in basegame means#you can customize it easier + itd run better on more pcs#so im fine eith that. i would nottt want it more cartoony#i also like. I understand the sims is like. an all ages game i do sometimes wish that the animations in 4 were a bit toned down#like i dont mind silly goofy wacky stuff i think its fun and like. The sims has always been a bit sillay yk. but the overexaggerated#animations r sometimes like -_-.... to me. but thats personal preference#IDK. the tags that show up when i type idk r so funny. do i ever know anything. sources say no#BUT ya i just rly wish like. if this is what they wanna do i wish theyd give us One more full game give it lots of time and love and rly rly#focus on having it excel at like. being this partnof the sims#since they wanna have like. Other sims games that have online features and multiplayer and everything. they could use that to make sure that#ts5 was Rly solid as a foundation and as like. ykwim..... they could plan updates for the future And dlc or whatever and i just think itd be#a better move than trying to make sims 4 happen#bc i judt dont think With all the updates in the world. sims 4 wont ever be like. what it couldve been. yk. i just dont think you can make#it work without Fullllyyyy just starting over.#and at this point with like..so many modders and stuff and everything and how much dlc there is thatd be impossible Esp if they keep#releasing new stuff which. They will ^_^#idk. im excited for some other lifesim games im keeping my eye out#but i rly do love the sims and i just wish that it could be as good as it could be. It has such a huge budget and team and like. if ea would#stop just trying to make as much money as possible off it i feel like they could make Such an amazing game. not to put down indie gamedevs#at all the games jve been looking at look Incredible like.. yk. but the fact those games are so good eith FAR smaller teams and budgets is#like. imagine what we could have if the sims had that amt of care and time put into it.#but whatever whatever whatever. sorry im just rambling#again ik what i would want from my platonic ideal of a sims game isnt what everyone would eant#but idk. i feel like another good step might be like. making the other sims games more available and updating them so they run better on#modern pcs. but i dont think thatll ever happen DNDNFJFNFN.
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twigstarpikachutroll22 · 2 months ago
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HEY WHAT THE FRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE FRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#nevermore#was reading the first part eating UP everything Will was telling Montresor#about how inconsequential he’s always been and how much he admires and wishes he was more like him#and the ‘’why is it that you matter so much to me’’ *SCREAMS*#''seems like you've got the answers to all the questions i'm too scared to ask'' * S C R E A M S *#‘’it’s driving me mad the not knowing’’ * S C R E A M S *#and then HOLY FRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#* S C R E A M S * DGISGISUFSFJSFJWIDIGAGIDGIXGHAGJXJGXJFAKDJGZFHAJGXWHCGISGIDKHCJFSGKCIGVIFSGUAGIDGFSGJDGKXGJSJFSGKXGJDFJSGICGISFS#AITSIGXFJSGKSGIXJGSFJSIGDHKXHFSGKXGJSGJAGIETIDHOFIGSFUSIGCJGSGISGOXOGDIFSFUSIGCHDJGSGJXJGFISIGXGIAKGXKXFUSGSIGCHOCGUDGUSIGDJGSIGXUFSUFSUGSF#Y E A H I’M GONNA BE R E A L INTERESTED TO SEE HOW MONTRESOR ENDS UP FEELING ABOUT T H A T#AND THEN IT WAS OHHHHHHHHH MY GOD DON’T TELL ME HE FREAKING DIED#and then i spent WAAAAAAYYYY too long figuring out how the FRICK to read full episodes on mobile#all the while trying to process THAT#and possibly come to terms with if this really was the end of will#and then i figured it out and got to keep reading and#WHAT THE FRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WAS THAT A CLONE THE WHOLE TIME IN WHICH CASE HOW MUCH ARE HIS CLONES WHOLE PEOPLE#LIKE YOU’D THINK THEY’D JUST BE WAY LESS DIMENSIONAL HOLOGRAM-PHOTOCOPY-WHATEVER OF THE WHOLE ACTUAL THING#BUT EVIDENTLY NOT SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#OR WAS THAT THE ACTUAL WILL THAT REALLY DID JUST DIE AND T H I S NOW IS A CLONE AND THOSE CAN STILL EXIST WHEN HE’S GONE#IN WHICH CASE A L S O HOW MUCH ARE THEY#AND EITHER WAY THIS IS SO SO SO FRICKED UP ARGUABLY THE SECOND ONE MORE SO#AND OF COURSE MONTRESOR ALSO IS GONNA HAVE TO GRAPPLE WITH ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ON TOP OF ALSO THE FACT THAT THAT WILL THAT DIED FREAKING MOUTH-KISSED HIM#AND HE’S THE ONLY ONE THAT REMEMBERS THIS#AND ARE WE EVEN GONNA GET ANSWERS OR ‘CAUSE H O W FRICKED UP WOULD IT BE IF WE JUST STRAIGHT-UP NEVER DID HUH#FREAKING—#* S C R E A M S LOUDER AND LONGER AT THE VERY VERY TOP OF MY LUNGS THAN SHOULD PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE*#AUFSUFAUTDGISGISITFKGSIGXGUDOHSIGXGJSKGXJFSKGSJGXKGSJGSJGSKGXJFSGKXJFXJGSGKDUFSGIXGKZGKDKGSGICJGSJGDGJSGISUTDGIDFUEIGFISUGSGIWICGKJFAIGXFUX
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villain-in-love · 5 months ago
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I like how the way I just off-handedly mentioned this fact perfectly reflects the way Kiera herself talks about her experience with torture.
One day in a conversation with Thistle she just casually goes "So here I was in that basement, hanging off the hooks that were stuck into my spine, and I distracted myself by thinking about-"
Aaaaand now Thistle is even more determined to never let Kiera out of the "safety" of his dungeon ever again. No more military campaigns for you, young lady. Enough is enough.
Kiera herself didn't quite understand what was with that shocked expression on Thistle's face when she told him what happened. She spent at least two centuries at war, did he really think that she was so lucky to never get caught as a war prisoner? Did he think there were no curious people who took advantage of her regeneration abilities to learn more about human anatomy?
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unproduciblesmackdown · 8 months ago
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what if we held on to whatever we get the idea of as Normal as unquestionable & think all you can do to this normal is apply some veneers overtop it to be more polite & also resent that. maybe we could project that everyone who seems to be Annoyingly Disruptively doing more than this must be putting on a performance to look good &/or humor others b/c that's all we ever believe we're doing, & again, we resent even that much....maybe we could use our show of More Polite language to make the same points blaming everyone who our Normal mistreats for their own mistreatment
#perhaps we could lecture autistic people on their; ah; Lacking Social Skills or Intelligence. it's just matter of fact#completely neutral what Annoys those who do well enough when thrown into any group settings; completely neutral how they React#like yeah can't possibly take issue w/anything Acceptable to Encouraged in the realm of even ''successful'' ''normal'' social interactions#infinite ''smh this is why nobody takes ableism seriously'' like oh you mean b/c of the ableism? is why you don't take it seriously?#infinite ways of phrasing that everyone alleged so Annoying With It is just like you but someone actively Putting On An Act too much#all it can possibly be. just as someone's Anti Ableism would be knowingly ''humoring'' / ''tolerating'' an autistic person e.g.#ah you see to this Person Who Identifies As Nonbinary's face i will try to mostly use Their Preferred Pronouns. that's that done#but it's sooo annoying. what's next; multiple &/or changing pronouns? god even worse. so Inflicted Upon my correct norm#if i'm not feeling actively malicious & devious in how i treat someone i am surely as righteous as it gets#having to improve on perfection by occasionally feeling Put Upon to perform politeness around some individuals? ughhh#that's why it's actually illegitimate. shouldn't have to be Put Upon like that. (finding the norm Questionable? out of the question Lol)#shocked ppl report that casual usage of the r word is having a revival. by shocked i mean [already clear ppl didn't care abt that]#& again just the current ''polite'' rephrasing of ableism like oh um :) disabled ppl are just a Specific kind of unintelligent & unskilled#& unprofessional & incompetent & a harmful scourge :) & maybe if they learned to be otherwise they wouldn't be punished :)#just formalized ABA vs the less formalized ABA huh. & the [the Real ableism] it ostensibly is to be saying all this i'm sure#something something not a real ally if they encourage behavior that will Make other ppl treat you badly. helpless neurotypicality :(#just as the ppl saying ableism is baked into terms & phrases used casually well beyond the [bad but lol guess not That Bad r word]#were definitely the ones Advancing Ableism by annoyingly overdoing the Polite Veneer you imagine they were Demanding#(rather than a more thorough questioning of language & accepted ''norms'' in pointing out the logics in their usage / basis)#simultaneously as being too much to ask it was also always so Frivolous as to not be worth the apparently infinitesimal effort#hmm guess we'll never solve the contradictions there....#not even with the ''openly saying 'see? i don't take ableism seriously & now it's Your Fault b/c i saw this & scoffed at it''' clues#& a final shoutout to the classic ''it's called being Realistic'' language in this & wherever else relevantly applied lol. we could go on
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