#precipice of change

[elveny]

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

From the Real Fic Writer Asks | Thank you!! ♥

(I was away for the weekend so I haven't been able to get to them before, thanks for your patience!)

That's a hard one!! 👀 I think most writers would love if literally any of their works got more credit / attention. I've narrowed it down to two fics: The Siren's Claim and Precipice of Change.

The Siren's Claim is my FFXIV mermaid AU (M-rated, 17.5k words, 5 chapters, Estinien x WoL). I'm really proud of the way I managed to weave in a mythology that's not overloading it but gives a background and general feel for the world. The story is concise and rich at the same time, with a general buildup that I think works really, really well. I hope once Mermay comes around again, people who read it boost it a bit :D

And then there's Precipice of Change. I cannot really fault people for not giving it a chance because it's LONG, but I still wish, more people would read it and love it. It's a DA2 AU that spans three works with a whole of nearly 600k words. So reading it is involved. Still, I am immensely proud of what @kunstpause and I achieved with that series, giving the events of DA2 a different weight and intensity than ingame, giving Cullen a character and redemption arc that makes him actually sympathetic and works well for DAI, giving all the characters the love they deserve. Our two protagonists are so immensely close to our heart, and I think you notice that.

[buckttommy]

recontextualizing this story through the lens of buck/eddie and what it means for them, is like. it's so interesting because recently, i got an anon that asked me (paraphrasing) if i thought 9-1-1 would actually "go there" with buck and eddie as individuals, and that three main characters discovering their queerness would be "too much" for the general audience. and, like, not withstanding that it's actually true to life — that queer people can and do naturally gravitate toward each other even when we aren't out / passing / aware of our sexualities at the time — it's also just like. the belief (or disbelief) that 911 wouldn't "go there" with their stories also comes with this inherent assumption that there's only one way to tell a queer discovery story.

like. when michael came out in season 1, he was already at the end of his journey. he had already walked through the self-hate and forced closeting and came out on the other side to self acceptance. when we meet michael, he is a queer man, a gay man (because the word is important), who has already stepped into self actualization and is ready to live his truth. this is not the story 911 is telling with buck.

and then with eddie, you have this character that is introduced with the idea of being perfect, as ryan said, of having it all together, only for the audience to realize he's not. only for the audience to realize that he's broken and cracked on the inside and that a lot of it stems from war. but most of it? most of it doesn't. most of it stems from his father, and from how he was raised. raised to shut it down, to swallow things whole even if they hurt, even if they make him bleed. he was told to keep it all quiet, repress repress repress. and so. i know this is an unpopular opinion, but to that end, i don't think an explicit queer discovery storyline is necessary for him, in the sense that, subtextually, i think it's already happened. season 5 was very much eddie's unrepression arc. we dug deep into the things that make eddie diaz, eddie diaz. and a lot of that was war. violence. chaos."warzones are my thing." but if that was all that his arc was meant to be, why have it end with a conversation with his father? they could have played that arc out in so many different ways.

for one, they could have had mills still be alive. they could have had her and eddie reconnect. they could have had her and eddie have a conversation where she shoulders some of the weight that eddie's been putting on himself and have him settle into the peace of the realization that he's not alone in this specific thing, that he never has been, that other people survived what he did and that he can find solace in them. but the writers didn't do that. they took it back to his childhood, to the root of where eddie diaz began and they said, this is where you need to go. this is what you need to address before you can heal and move on. so that conversation with his dad that culminated in him choosing wellness, in him choosing happiness, in him choosing safety in his body for himself has very much always read to me as queer acceptance even if not explicit (due to the assumed barriers that were placed on that story at the time).

eddie has always been with women, eddie has always liked being with women, so i'd be shocked if he's ever even thought about the nuances of his sexuality. but his unrepression in season 5, to me, has always made him open to the possibility of falling into whatever comes next, whatever that looks like.

this is also not the story they're telling with buck.

(as a side note, i'd just like to say that queer subtext is still queer existence. subtext is how our stories have been told for generations, well before we were able to take up space on the page, and subtext is still a wholly valid and beautiful way of telling a queer story. please don't forget that).

so then, finally, we get to buck, and he's so very new at this. so very green he may as well be a blade of grass on a country club golf course. and so, despite the fact that there have already been two queer storylines prior, this is the first time in 9-1-1 (and tv!) history, that we have ever gotten to see an unplanned queer character discover who he is at this intimate, detailed level. we get to see buck's story unfold in real time, we get to learn about who this actualized version of himself is, as he is realizing it, and we get to know and dissect the layers and nuances, the ebbs and flows of his sexuality as he's taking himself apart and seeing what's underneath.

friends. this is the story they've always needed to tell.

and so, when i think about buck and eddie, and i think about their progression toward a romantic relationship and what that would look like, realistically and in the eyes of the audience, buck has really always been the missing key. we've talked about it before — who he is, who he was, has in no way been ready for eddie on multiple levels. whether it was because of his insecurity, his lack of place in the world, etc, buck has always been (for lack of a better word) too immature for eddie. eddie is a single father. he doesn't have time to play games, and though he will always love and reassure buck when he needs it, he doesn't have time to heal buck for him. nor should he. so buck was the only one who canonically, canonically, needed to be yanked from point a to point z.

and. it's like everyone's said, even before the season began — buck has been on a hamster wheel, buck has been stuck in a rut, yadda yadda yadda, which means that, as far as the audience was concerned, what always was for buck (women) is what always would have been. and there was nothing in canon, nothing concrete to disprove them from believing so. so we needed him to fall into something, not just radical, but sometime new.

and when i think about buck, and when i think about eddie, and when i think about their stories both as individuals and together, buck has, realistically, been the only real stopping point. at least with eddie, when the time is right and buck/eddie go canon, we, the audience, can go back in time and we can look at the way he came into himself and settled into his identity as a person, as a man, and say, like, oh okay, this is the moment. you know? we don't need the writers to take our hands and guide us through the same processes buck is experiencing because eddie's already had his ah moment, he's already experienced the moment where he decides that his life and his needs and his joy and his liberation are just as beautiful and valuable and worthy like everyone else's.

so when people ask, like, "would 9-1-1 really go there with three queer discovery arcs?" it's just like. well yes. they already have. we've already there. in fact, we're well into the third and final act. buck, eddie, and the audience, are almost ready — as in, actively ready — for each other. and yes, sure, even after the meat of this arc has passed, there will still be some things buck and eddie need to learn — specifically, they will need to learn that, not only do they have feelings for each other, but that feelings for each other is actually an option — but. for all intents and purposes, this is the crescendo before the final chord. this is it. and the thought that we've been here, that we've witnessed these three beautiful queer storylines unfold with these three beautiful characters (two of which are gentle, loving, present men of color) makes me entirely too emotional for words. tbh.

[wttcsms]

torn between wanting @mochalate to post more fics and wanting her to never publicly show her work ever again because it's just a little too good. like, you cannot possible go back and read anyone else's writing after you have read anything she's written

[pillowprincessvarric]

Okay but maybe I don't Want to live through the great paradigm shift. Have you considered that.

[maretriarch]

less of the birthday blues and more of a blurple

[alternate-jersey]

looking a lot like last year unfortunately

[capricornsister]

All these people around me still seemingly have their spirit and fully engage in the distractions of life and my only thought is "have fun." It's such a relief to let go of hope in a way + the ever-constant narrative of excitement for the journey ahead. Another lie to believe in. One more trapping of humanity...

[mistergoddess]

it's been such a weird few years like this decade really started with such a fucked up year huh i know we went thru that as an entire planet but i think so many ppl in my life were just like haha that was crazy with covid i had to get my groceries delivered and work from home and it's like oh cool that that was the worst part of that for you im happy for you i lost so much i don't know how i survived.. and then i lost a bunch more stuff the next year too. and then 2022 started with more loss. but then i think ended up being a better year than the previous 2 combined and now 2023 has started on a pretty cool weird note and like i'm excited for life but i'm gonna go through so many changes shit is about to get really intense for me in good and bad ways and i am going to have to work so hard to rebuild my life now and i know i need to pace myself and ease back into being a human in a healthy and manageable way and i'm so excited for it but god i am too old and worn out and battered by everything to be getting into the kind of fucked up stuff ive been getting into my literal entire life so like. good vibes only idk i'm really excited about life rn and and wanna do good and i know how to be responsible and take care of my shit and have my life under control now it's just a matter of like sticking to what i know i need to do lmao. i'm really glad my first ever Big Solo Adult Travel was such a success and so much fun and cool and chill bc i feel like i can do anything now i feel very inspired and full of love and confidence and that's really nice. but like it easily could have been whack because i'm a downright clown and am so good at getting into some shit but like. yeaaaaaa good vibes can't go wrong with that just be cool and life will be cool back !!!!!

[rosewatergrapefruit]

this is still maybe one of the most insane relationships I’ve ever had with an album…when I was 15 and really making an effort to figure out what I believed in and what I wanted to stand for this album was invaluable in articulating what I imagined living in active resistance would be like….the pain and anger and humiliation and discomfort and joy and sexiness and the love of it all…really very few pieces of work that I can think of even today that embody that. and it’s also one of those things where it rings so strongly of “what could have been” like it feels like it was recorded while we were on the precipice of something that we ultimately whimpered away from…which is why every song on here kind of makes me want to cry lol. anyway, great album!

[1introvertedsage]

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.

~Krishna~

[todayisafridaynight]

Some Yakuza villains: I am unlovable and I require nothing from others. I am self sufficient. Blegh urgh hnnnng

Same characters after receiving genuine kindness and sincerity: 🥺

A few of those same characters when the person who is nice and soft to them ends up giving them a heart boner: I'm madly in love with you now and everyone around me knows I'm weak for you

sometimes i think of that quote thats like 'everyone is motivated by love one way or another' and yeah you know what. most yakuza villains fall in line with that tbh

[buckttommy]

Buck and Eddie are going to be pissed at each other/one of them is going to be pissed at the other, but not for the reasons you think.

Before anyone asks, I'm not being shady and I don't know how the season is going to unfold, but I do know that in all the years of Buck and Eddie being BuckandEddie, we've seen them survive a lawsuit (essentially: Buck at his most selfish), a kidnapping, a nervous breakdown (essentially: Eddie at his most destructive), a shooting, and so many other things that have yet to actually rock the core of their relationship. I think this—whatever this is—is going to strike at the heart of who they are together and that? That fascinates me.

[thanflowers]

       “I can’t imagine it’s been easy, growing up with apostates in your family.” One of Elspeth’s greatest fears has always been the impact her magic might have on the people she loves the most. She can’t be sure what her parents would have done if it had found a less subtle way to manifest, but she knows any choice they could make would have been a burden. “I don’t know what my family would’ve done.” 

@sunchascd​​ / carver! — call. 

[gfsolar]

Got this in the mail yesterday.

The big book in front of you... Not the other stuff. The book by Toby Ord. Yes. That one.

[inukagome15]

Hi there! Just wanted to let you know I've been rereading your Precipice of Change fic, and I love it as much as ever. Your Hawke is so interesting and I've really loved how he's interacted with the inquisition plot line as well as how you've written all the companions! It's definitely one of my favourites :)

Ah, thank you! <33 I'm so glad you enjoy that one so much! :D

I adore the Dragon Age 2 characters. Inquisition has some fun ones as well. And it's lovely to throw Hawke at them and see how they all interact.

I do look forward to eventually returning to it. It's such a long project that I'm waiting just a little to get some other ones out of the way.

[withlibertyandjusticeforall]

really America. we are scraping the bottom of the barrel. you're telling me there are no people in the United States that are better than trump and Biden? really??

there are better Republicans than trump. those that aren't a threat to democracy. pretty much anyone is better than him.

so many people have allowed themselves to be bamboozled.

I would say we need someone to swoop in and save us, but that's a situation ripe for exploitation. it's what trump is claiming to do.

if only there was someone with integrity that wouldn't exploit people's grievances-- at the very least, someone who doesn't support insurrection and gaining power at all costs, including breaking our democracy.