#president fiddleford mcgucket

[gravityups]

Haha isn’t so funny how Alex Hirsh’s likes to put loony near-insanity characters who mess around and cause chaos as people in government office? First Trembly and then McGucket as post-canon president in the Gravity Falls universe

Haha it’s almost like he’s saying that people in government are incompetent… no, sorry, like the current/former presidents of America are obnoxious, have no desire to run the country…. oh, that can’t be right..

…

Wait a minute….

[stanfagpines]

Fiddleford Hadron McGucket is truly the character ever. He's a mad engineer. He just wants to play baseball with his son. He's a cult leader. He used to live in a dumpster. He is the smartest man in the world. He is married to a raccoon. He grew up on a hog farm in Tennessee. He had a homoerotic relationship with his science partner. He's divorced. He has eaten a baby dinosaur. He's the president of the United States.

[maniacwatchestheworld]

Just... I don't think that I can express how happy Alex Hirsch saying that in the Gravity Falls universe that Fiddleford McGucket becomes the 45th US president makes me. Like it's dumb, probably just a joke, and won't stick... BUT BOY HOWDY DO I WANT IT TO STICK! This is MY kind of garbage! Fiddleford is my favorite. Politics is a thing that I know things about. My presidential history isn't exactly the most comprehensive, but it's probably better than most. SO I LOVE THIS GARBAGE!

In any case, here are some dumb headcanons about Fiddleford being president:

He ran as a third party candidate (or as an independent). Ford REALLY hoped this would kill his chances of being elected. But as it turns out, 100 foot spider robots is something that everyone, no matter their political leanings, agreed that they would LOVE to have.

I have no idea which party he would be a part of, but it has to be something completely absurd like, "The Rent is too Damn High Party."

You probably wouldn't expect McGucket to be very good in a debate. But here's the thing. When you show up in a 20 foot tall mech taken straight out of some anime, you've kinda already won. At everything. Including life.

I can totally see McGucket pulling an Andrew Jackson, and on the day of his inauguration, throwing a MASSIVE party on the White House lawn that goes full crazy and lasts for the greater part of a week!

Once in office, he would let raccoons run amok in the White House. Guy just seems to have always liked raccoons.

He would make the White House cow a thing again.

He would NOT pardon the turkey! That turkey said some really nasty things and doesn't deserve a pardon!

Speaking of pardons, he would probably give Stan and Ford presidential pardons (you can't say that they don't deserve it, let’s be honest here), but immediately after recieving the pardon, Stan would then break a LOT of laws again. Why? Because he thinks that McGucket will just give him infinite pardons! Of course Fiddleford's not an idiot, so Stan does not receive any further pardons.

Here! Have a fun fact! He would be the first president from Tennessee! (Also I learned that Al Gore is also from Tennessee... I feel like they’d know each other... Also, just imagine Fiddleford solving the whole Global Warming thing just to stick it to Al.)

He would also be the first single divorcee to be elected into office! You know... Unless...

He would also be the second president to have ever been divorced!

I feel like he would get along GREAT with Jimmy Carter! Obviously, I don't think that he would particularly be on bad terms with any single one of the former US presidents, but I can see Fiddleford getting along famously with Jimmy.

I can't say for certain that Jimmy did any of the manual labor on his family's peanut farm, but considering Carter's philanthropy and how he was indeed on the ground, putting up buildings and doing physical labor, it does sound like something he would do. Therefore Jimmy and Fiddleford like talking about life back on the farm to one another.

While Bush Jr. has a ranch down in Texas and therefore could also talk country farming life with Fiddleford, they don't stand particularly eye to eye in their political beliefs. Still, Fiddleford remains completely civil and friendly towards both of the Bushes, and they get along perfectly fine. Of course this would demonstrated during George Bush Senior's funeral.

Fiddleford's politics and policy would probably swing pretty darn progressive. He did spend 30 years homeless so he knows what it's like to be at the bottom of society, poor, and of not particularly good physical or mental health... And how terrible the United States is at actually helping its people, after all. He would probably fight to end homelessness and I would love to see him establishing a system in which everyone at least has their most basic needs met.

Obviously Fiddleford would support the Black Lives Matter movement. Because cops are assholes and he’s probably experienced how shitty they are first hand. (Even if he likes Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland just okay... But probably the best thing they ever did for Gravity Falls was be terrible at their jobs.)

It would be incredible if he could break down how divided this country has become and how the parties almost always tend vote as a block, regardless of personal beliefs. Especially if he does it by just... Befriending... Everyone. And being his usual kind self. Like, he can get bipartisan support on stuff because... Just... “Why did I vote for this bill that he wanted to pass in spite of past objections to such policy? Well... A lot of it is because I owed him a favor. Have you met the guy? He’s just SO nice! And he really helped me out a lot a few months ago. It’s really the least I could do. Also he has made a lot of good points on why this legislation should be passed.”

Just imagine him being like... A REALLY nice Lyndon Johnson, but who’s also a scientific supergenius.

Also he would absolutely not be above punching some politician for being completely unreasonable for petty reasons!

[stephreynaart]

Also

[joemerl]

Today I learned that, according to Alex Hirsch, McGucket became the forty-fifth POTUS in the Gravity Falls universe.

I mean...I'd've voted for him over Trump or Hillary.

[when-gravity-has-fallen]

As you may or may not realize, it has almost been a decade since the Pines Twins' first summer in Gravity Falls. Everyone has been very busy.

Dipper and Mabel Pines are currently attending San Francisco State University. The former is studying various sciences to be prepared for "oddology", a scientific field he wishes to invent with his great uncle. The latter is attending for the counseling program.

Stanford and Stanley Pines are exploring the world's seas, enjoying each other's company as they encounter oddities across the globe. They've fully reconnected through their adventures. Stan works on his comic "Lil' Stanley" and Ford polishes his encyclopedias of anomalies in their spare time.

Fiddleford McGucket is still inventing brilliant things and has reconciled with his family. He is currently President of the US and has been since 2016. He lives the first half of the year in the White House and the other in "McGucket's Hootenanny Hut!!".

After graduating from Portland State University, Wendy Corduroy lives in a Portland apartment. She loves to ride her Harley.

Soos Ramirez takes pride in his role as Mr. Mystery and works hard to keep the Mystery Shack entertaining. Melody became his Mrs. Mystery June 2015 and they have been attempting to conceive since then.

Pacifica Northwest is currently working towards becoming a family attorney, and going to Portland State University.

[agftheorist]

Note: This post is written for fun and does not mean to offend any part of the Gravity Falls fandom so please no hate. Thank you.

The true hero of Gravity Falls is Fiddleford Mcgucket.

Built a high security bunker so the shapeshifter couldn't escape

Tried to warn Ford about the portal

His alternate self gave Ford a crucial tip for his quantum destabilizer

Helped the kids multiple times during summer

Built the Shacktron

Literally invented the gun that brought Bill Cipher's end

Is semi-canonically the next US president

[mother-ofthe-universedraws]

ooooo requests you say? how about some fiddleford in these trying times? :)))

Some Fiddleford you say? How ‘bout three!

First is tired college man, second is feral hillbilly, and third is President McGucket 2016-2024

[animation-recaps-by-sean]

Gravity Falls Beyond the Woods Chapter Five

The Agency make plans and the Pines family prepare to return to Gravity Falls

Rated T 

<-prev     next-> 

It was a hot day in Washington. Agent Madison wiped his brow. There was a problem with the Agency. An embarrassing side branch of the CIA. It was made to study UFO’s, Bigfoot, and other such nonsense. It was mainly used as a dumping ground for problematic agents and newbies. But while running around Oregon looking for a magic statue, someone actually got himself killed. His surviving partner insists that he was killed by fairies of all things.

Worse yet, instead of discussing this in some dark room in Langley, they were going to talk about this in the oval office with the president himself. Granted this president  took great interest in the goings on of intelligent agencies. While Madison liked the extra support, he was worried that some of the more questionable actions the CIA needs to take for the good of the country could be traced back to the president.

Wiping his brow again, he entered the oval office, filled with people. Some he expected, others he didn’t. He was shocked that Tambry Valentino was there. Tambry was often the CIA’s go to girl for wet work. Frankly, Madison thought the girl lacked discretion and had no idea what overkill meant.  

President Nicholas Wednesday sat behind his desk. The president's look was unique to say the least. A very large man, both in height and in stomach; he had long since lost his hair, save his bushy beard which was snow white. Instead of the typical blue suits, he was scarlet, the same as his tie. It really showed against his white collar shirt. His name and dress sense combined with his general jolly demeanor brought to mind that of Santa Claus. More people would properly call him that if he wasn’t missing his left eye, which he covered with an eye patch the same red as his suit and tie. To top the whole ridiculous thing off, President Wednesday was sucking on a candy cane.

“Agent Valentino,” the President said, “Please start.”

Tambry stood up and cleared her voice. “In the 1970s, paranormal researcher Stanford Pines entered the small Organ town Gravity Falls. If that name sounds familiar that’s because that’s the town former president Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III Esquire founded and kept his candy frozen remains.

There, along with engineer Fiddleford McGucket, began researching rumored events. McGucket suffered some short of nervous breakdown. In a few years he was living alone with the local dump. The Agency then picked up a strange energy signal coming from the shack Dr. Pines lived in at the edge of town. The next day, his estranged twin’s, Stanley, car was found burned down. Stanley had quite the rap sheet, so police suspected foul play, not nothing ever came from the investigations.

Later that year Stanford turned his lab into a tourist attraction, called the Mystery Shack. This went on for another thirty years until Trembley escaped, and the Agency detected more energy signatures. A team led by Agents’ Power and Trigger investigated the town for a month. When they came back, none of them even remembered going. Later that month, Gravity Falls goes black. I’m talking completely cut off from the outside world. Nothing goes in or out for four days. No phone calls, no mail, no people. When people were able to contract Gravity Falls again, they only thing people said was ‘never mind all that’. Also, after this ‘never mind all that’, Stanley returns from the dead, Stanford gives the Mystery Shack to his repairman, they both ride off into the sun set.”

“Is this about anything?” Madison interjected. “Was it the fairies?” His tone reeked of condensation.

Tambry continued without looking at him. “The truth is that during the seventies Stanford Pines made contact with a dream demon called Bill Cypher. Cypher convinced him to build an interdimensional portal to let him into ours. Ford got cold feet once it became apparent Cypher had hostile intentions. He shut down the project, while McGucket invented a mind wiping device, the same mind wiping device that was used on Agent Powers and Triggers, to ease his memory of the whole affair. He wiped too much and became insane.

Dr. Pines was unwilling to completely destroy his research however. He called in his criminal half brother, Stanley. He wanted to give him a third of his research to hide but the family reunion reopened old wounds, a fight broke out and Stanford was lost in the portal. Stanley faked his death, stole his brother's identity and turned his lab into a tacky tourist attraction to fund his repair to the portal.

I failed to mention that the twins had an older brother, Sherman. Nice guy, vietnam vet. Had a son, David. He married a woman named Gillian and they had two twins, Mabel and Mason. Or Dipper as his friends call him. Now, in the summer of 2012, David thought it would be a good idea to send his twins to spend the summer with the man he thought was his uncle Stanford. Fate would have it, that was the summer where Stanford returned to this reality and Cypher wasn’t too far off.  

For four days, Cypher unleashed what he called weirdmagedon on Gravity Falls. But both sets of Pines twins worked together, turned Cypher into stone and returned the town to normal, well as normal as Gravity Falls got.”

The room was filled with confused mutterings. “And we know this how?” One of the generals said.

It was the president who answered. “Agent Valentino grew up in Gravity Falls. She was at ground zero for the ‘never mind all that’. In fact, most of our intel on Bill Cypher comes from Agent Valentino.”

“What about the death?”

“The surviving agent made contact with a creature calling itself The Homunculus . He claims to know where Cypher is. He’ll tell us if we help him.” He stood up. “Finding the remains of Cypher is our top priority. It is the key to the next arms race. America’s power can not be threatened by anything!”

Morning broke over New York City. Dipper was making a large breakfast of french toast for his daughter. Tyrone and Wendy were helping out when Rose came out of her room with a large white board. The girl looked tired.

“Hey sweetie, we’re making your favorite. Wanna join us?”

“Everyone, I have made a decision. I’m going to focus my attention on the family business, mystery solving!”

“Well it’s great that you’re bouncing back Rosie,” Wendy told her daughter.

“Yep. I even discovered a mystery from Dad’s and Aunt Mabel’s first summer. The secret of the CD message!” Rose proudly pointed to her whiteboard filled with pictures and string. But all Wendy and Dipper could do was cringe at their past preteen/teen angst respectively. Rose failed to notice as she plowed through her presentation.

“Now years ago, Mom dated Mr. Valentino but broke up with him when Dad found that backward brainwashing message in that song he wrote. Mr. Valentino claims that he stole the song and didn’t know about the message. Now I know he’s sus, but I’m inclined to believe him. One, he’s kind of an idiot and i don’t think he could pull it off. And two, Dad and Mom were perfectly okay with him dating Mom’s best friend. And I don't think they would be cool with that if Mr. Valentino knowingly tried to brainwash Mom into kissing her, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. Although how he and Mrs. Valentino got to know each other had its own issues.”

“That was your Aunt Mable’s fault.”

Rose continued. “The begs the question of where it came from? So I did some digging. The song is called ‘Wendy’ was it was written by swedish nu metal band Roc Shoes in 2005. Meaning they wrote the original mind control message. Which can only mean one thing. The band are henchmen to an evil sorcerer! Now I compiled several suspects, I think we should begin with emails...”  

“Ah Rosie,” Wendy interrupted. “This is super creative but...”

“Subliminal messaging isn’t real.”  Dipper finished.

“What!”

“Yea, if it worked the government would put it in everything.”

“But-but when you told that story, you never mentioned that!”

Dipper looked embarrassed. “I-I didn’t think I needed to. I figured you’d know that it was fake.”

“That’s ridiculous!”  

“Yeah, Dad. I gotta side with Rose. That seems like a big thing to leave out,” Tyrone said.

“It’s pseudoscience nonsense guys!”

Tyrone continued. “Dad, Dad, Gravity Falls operates on pseudoscience nonsense. Your summer up to that point included gnomes, a fully operational animatronic that doubled as a submarine, magic living wax statues, magic amulets, ghosts, whatever a manotaur is, cloning, a long lost secret president frozen in candy, time travel, living video game characters, a size changing crystal, man eating candy, gremloblin, a literal bottomless pit, a merman, and a body switching carpet. All of that is real. But subliminal messaging. Science fiction nonsense. Just leave us to figure it out yourself.”

“All right, all right. I get it. I’m sorry. Jeez.”  

The days went by and the Pines family prepared for the trip in Oregon. But while the Pines were boarding the plane, the Pines-Northwests were packing their suitcases into the car. Being one state over, Mabel and Pacifica decided to simply drive to Gravity Falls. As the family buckled up, Pacifica noticed something in Stanley’s mouth and an opened jar of playdough in his hands.

“Stanley Northwest-Pines! Are you eating playdough?”

“No,” Stanley said with a mouth full of playdough.

“Stanley, I can see the playdough in your mouth.”

“I’m not eating it, I’m sucking on it.”

“Spit it out.”

“Mooom.”

“Mabel, tell our son to spit it out.”

“Stanley, please take the playdough out of your mouth.” He opened his mouth and the playdough slid his mouth out into it’s little container.

While the family made their way to the little Oregon town, Tambry was making a trip of her own. While her coworkers were wrapping their heads around the frozen time baby, she was doing a little recruiting. The former agent Powers had retreated from civilization and was living alone in a log cabin. He answered when Tambry knocked. Powers had let his hair go wild, with long bushy hair and beard. “May I help you?”

“Agent Valentino,” Tambry said, flashing her badge. “I’m with your old agency.”

Powers sighed. “I doubt you’d leave if I told you to go away.”

Tambry walked right in. Powers’ place was a mess. Garbage and clothes littered the floor. The walls was full of pictures, newspaper clippings, and maps of Gravity Falls. “We found something in Gravity Falls, something connected to the Pines. Do you remember that summer?”

She didn’t mention what summer she meant, She didn’t need to. “There are holes still, but less of them; smaller too.” Powers turned to her. “I-I’ve seen you before. That face…”

“We meant briefly at Preston Northwest’s Party. I was only a teenager then. You and your… partner were having a spat, I was looking for a place to put my coat.”  

“Work partner. And a work spat. But yes I remember you. You were with them. The Pines.” Powers turned to look at some faded pictures of Dipper and Mabel as children. “Last I heard they weren’t chummy with the government. Why betray them.”

Tambry’s face grew serious. She sat on a discarded crate. “You weren’t there for the end. The sky ripping open, things flying out of it. Your whole body turning to stone.  Being alive and not being able to move. Yeah I’m selling them out. I’m selling them so nothing like that never happens again!”

Powers smiled. “So, what’s the situation?”

[jheselbraum]

GF Theory: Backupsmore is secretly a school for geniuses

Created with @fordtato!

The theory:

President Nixon secretly made a ton of cheap magnet schools/honeypots for smart but poor disenfranchised students (America won the space race because of systematically disenfranchised black women who were great at math and computer programming. The Russians got ahead early on because they had a larger pool of geniuses to choose from). They make the students think they’re going to an awful school, but they’re really going to an incredibly advanced school on par with (if not surpassing) the Ivy Leagues.

Evidence:

Ivy Leagues racist and anti-semitic admissions policies

Not only does Backupsmore have multiple geniuses attending, but enough students to support and maintain classes in fifth dimensional calculus, applied quantum phase theory, etc.

The fact that they had a PhD program at all.

Possible Fourth Amendment violations (is the phrase “mostly bug free dorms” a double entendre?)

Heavy government involvement in school projects (the mind control tie was, after all, taken by the government despite the fact that Ronald Reagan wouldn’t run for president for years).

Introduction: Alarming Trends and Coincidences

Picture this: Young Stanford Pines is a prodigy amongst prodigies. Being gifted is one thing, but possessing the capability and ingenuity to create a physics-defying perpetual motion machine (at 17 no less!) is quite another. Ending up in Backupsmore instead of any Ivy League was nothing more than a tragedy—this genius of the future was left in an unassuming mostly-bug-free dorm, instead of a place where his skills could have been better cultivated.

Right?

Enter Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. This Backupsmore student is also years ahead of his time—decades even. Portable computer technology was a pipe dream in the 60’s and 70’s, but dream it he did, even completing a successful prototype in his thirties (given he and Ford are the same age, approximately). His specialty is robotic mechs unattainable even with today’s technology. He possesses a wealth of knowledge so vast that he was able to construct a polydimensional metavortex thousands of years before mankind had that kind of technology, And, despite all odds, he ended up in the same college as Stanford. Not just the same college, but the same dorm-room, even.

That’s no longer a coincidence. Two geniuses, leagues ahead of the world they live in, in the same dorm? One prodigy is an anomaly. But two? That’s a trend.

Why Backupsmore? Where are the Ivy Leagues?

One could make the argument that both Stanford and Fiddleford are poor, too poor to afford Ivy League colleges on scholarships that (at least Ford) wouldn’t get due to not being valedictorian or even likely in the top ten percent of his class.

But, since Ford is from New Jersey and Fiddlefordd from Tennessee, at least one of them has to be paying Backupsmore out of state tuition.

Plus, college overall was cheaper then, and the system at the time was designed to funnel white students through the system while poorer and less white students were conscripted and shipped off to Vietnam. And if not Ivy League, surely a less prestigious but more qualified school would have accepted either Ford or Fiddleford into their ranks? Perfect grades do not a college student make, after all.

I find it hard to believe that neither of them applied to another school and that neither had been accepted by a school other than Backupsmore.

However… Stanford Pines isn’t white (particularly not by 1960s standards). Stanford Pines is, after all, Jewish.

The Ivy Leagues? The Ivy Leagues are predominately Protestant. Their students come from old money families who would pull their kids out of school in a skinny minute if their “good protestant children” have to spend too much time surrounded by people who aren’t just like them.  

On top of this, the Ivy Leagues (Harvard, Yale, etc) have a noted history of antisemitic admissions policies (whether official or not).

Come to think of it, this could also be why West Coast Tech was so quick to dismiss him. Stanford Pines is a very Jewish name, they likely made their decision before even meeting him. (The representatives were from California, not New Jersey, their attitude can’t be explained by the general culture of the Garden State).

Why is Backupsmore being used as a Magnet School though?

Consider: The year is most likely 1969. We know Ford came to Gravity Falls in 1975 so we can assume he spent most, if not all, of Nixon’s presidency in college.

From 1969 to 1972, there were six manned US moon landings, securing an American victory in the Space Race (and, arguably, the Cold War itself).

And who is responsible for the Apollo 11 moon landing?

None other than Katherine Johnson, a systematically disenfranchised black woman.

Now, consider Richard Nixon, the thirty-seventh president. Nixon was a paranoid, lying, scheming man who disenfranchised the anti-war hippie movement and the black power movement in one fell swoop (the effects of which we’re still feeling today), with his aide, John Ehrlichman, quoted as saying:

“You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders. raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”

Nixon also ended the draft with the specific intention of stopping the anti-war movement.

But consider what value Katherine Johnson and others like her presented to the Nixon administration, what pawns disenfranchised geniuses could be to the Nixon administration.

Consider that, by allowing the poor, by allowing people of color, allowing hippies, and Jewish people and Catholics (who were, at the time, considered outsiders, Jewish people much more so than Catholics but still) to get a quality education while thinking they’re receiving a poor one, all while doing the government’s dirty work, America could keep their newfound leg up on Soviet competition.

After all, why fight in a war with only a fraction of your people working with you?

Events of Note

“MOSTLY bug-free dorms” seems like an odd choice of words off the bat— and the tone of voice the speaker (the dean, I believe) says it in makes it sound like a positive thing. However, it’s well known that all college dorms are only mostly bug free. So why bring it up?

Well, if it is Nixon who’s making these magnet schools, and the government is heavily involved in the curriculum, why wouldn’t the dorms be bugged?

This is, of course, a violation of the fourth amendment, but since when has Richard Nixon cared about that?

The “government-funded” mind control tie experiment sounds like something straight from a declassified CIA file.

Backupsmore has suspiciously advanced classes, for a “sub-par” school. Colleges rely on tuition payments to pay faculty members. And if a student underperforms/fails a class, they’re removed from campus.

Backupsmore University, therefore, must not only have enough students to justify hiring professors to teach their advanced classes (again: Applied Quantum Phase Theory and Fifth Dimensional Calculus! Not to mention Ford’s cryptography classes), but have enough students consistently passing these classes as well!

Conclusion

Gravity Falls Richard Nixon created at least one honeypot college for poor or otherwise disenfranchised students, so that he could use their work to further American agendas at home and abroad, all while refusing to actually work for social change, and none of these students actually received a leg up or any social leverage for their trouble.

[ceslatoil]

Fiddleford in Fairyland, Part 2

The second half of my first @fiddleford-appreciation-month story is up! Read more under the cut!

           Fiddleford would later look back on his time in Faerie as one of the best research experiences of his career. For example, the library where the research team had set up their base was vast and plenty in books about the history and culture of Faerie, and Titania was more than happy to point out which books were more helpful than others.

           “Look at this,” said Fiddleford one morning when the Queen had stopped by to visit the team. He held up a large, leather-bound book that was embossed with ornate flowers on the cover. “I think I found something that might come in handy,” he continued, flipping through some of the pages as he spoke, “it’s some kind of journal written about a few hundred years ago, maybe it’ll show us something about the past we haven’t seen before—”

           “Oh, hell no!” Titania’s face was a mixture of amusement and horror as she laid eyes upon the book. “That’s my diary from when I was a dorky teenager,” the Queen explained, her face flushed as she tried to take the book from Fiddleford.

           “Oh? Well that’s even better,” Fiddleford chuckled, an impish grin painted across his face as he held the book out of her reach, “I cain’t recall if I’ve ever read a first hand account about the awkward teenage years of a Queen before!”

           “Give me that!”

           “Never!”

           Aside from some lighthearted teasing here and there, however, the Queen remained and invaluable ally to the research team’s mission. Though Titania was often busy in political briefings and in her office performing the difficult duties of running a country, she would make time to visit Fiddleford and the others, even going so far as to consent to giving brief interviews about her life and responsibilities as the Queen of the Fairies. It had been she who had suggested Fiddleford interview other citizens beside herself, and so, with either Corduroy or Ramirez in tow, Fiddleford traveled the countryside and began conducting interviews with the people of Faerie.

           What interesting people they were too—creatures that he had only ever seen in storybooks could be found in every crevice of this strange land. There were ogres who sang and danced in critically acclaimed musicals, leprechauns that baked cupcakes for a living, centaurs that bussed tables at bars run by dwarves; there was even a man who claimed to be the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States, who was now mayor of a small town just a few miles away from Eclipse Manor. Everyone seemed to have a story, and Fiddleford gladly collected his or her thoughts with the help of his team.

           At the end of every exciting day, Fiddleford and his team would return to Eclipse Manor, where they would eat a hearty, delicious dinner wit the Queen and her family, and would spend the rest of the evening playing games in the garden or watching movies in the Queen’s parlor.

           It was a fine, comfortable sort of life; Fidds couldn’t remember a time when he had felt more at ease since he and Stanford had founded the Institute thirty odd years ago. Fiddleford jokingly wrote to his husband one day that might just try to move him and the rest of the family to Faerie full time. He was in no hurry to rush back to the never ending bustle that came from running an Institute of the Odd when things were so relaxing in this magic kingdom.

           Things changed, as they inevitably do, when another Fiddleford McGucket had shown up at Eclipse Manor’s gates one sunny afternoon.

           Fiddleford woke up to find six tawny kittens crawling over his stomach. He could see Prince Daya standing by his armchair, giggling as he placed a seventh kitten on the old man’s belly.

           “Kitty invasion,” Daya squeaked as he bent down to pet the mama cat, a lovely Abyssinian who luxuriated at the attention.

           “Oh no,” said Fiddleford in mock-horror. Scooping up the kittens into his arms, he gave each of them a quick kiss on top of their little heads. “What am I going to do with all these kittens? How could this have happened?”

           “You sleepin’!”

           “Yes I was,” said Fiddleford, yawning as he gently placed the kittens on the ground next to their mama. “Musta dozed off while I was reading. Any idea where the rest of my team went, little guy?”

           Daya shrugged. Regardless, Fiddleford patted him on the head and gazed at the clock on the mantle. It read two in the afternoon—golden sunshine was pouring into the windows of the library. It was silly to spend the day cooped up inside, thought Fiddleford, he would take his research with him into the garden this afternoon. Daya toddled after him as he made his exit from the stuffy library into the main hall.

           Fiddleford was just passing by Titania’s office when suddenly, he heard several voices crying out at once. He looked up and found Ramirez, Corduroy, and all four of Titania’s fairy friends were barreling down the corridor towards him, each with looks of complete terror etched upon their faces. Before he could even begin to ask what the matter was, all six of them crashed into him, forcing him to fall against the heavy oak door into Titania’s office. Fiddleford landed with a thud on the soft carpet of Titania’s office, the back of his head throbbing as he tried to make sense of what just happened.

           “What are you doing,” hissed Titania, who was sitting at her desk with a stack of papers laid out before her. “Don’t barge in here like stampeding rhinos, what if I was seeing somebody important? Get out, I have work to do!”

           All at once, the intruders all began talking fast and loud, so much so that it was impossible to make out a word that was being said. Fiddleford lay there on the floor, saying nothing for lack of any explanation as to why he always seemed to end up in these sorts of predicaments.

           “Silence!”

           The group shut up. Titania rose to her feet and glared down at the intruders disdainfully. With a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose and said, “Peaseblossom, what is the meaning of this?”

           Peaseblossom cleared her throat and said, “Look out the window!”

           The Queen, annoyed and tired, turned to see what Peaseblossom was fussing about, and after peering out the great glass window of her office, let out a horrified gasp. Her hand shot to her mouth, muffling her screams.

           “What is it,” said Fiddleford, who was now scrambling out of the dog pile. His eyes widened in terror. Treading down the path towards the mansion were two old men, one who he instantly recognized as Stanford, wearing a tired old sweater and a contented smile as he held the hand of the other man, who was a complete stranger to Fiddleford. By the looks the Queen and her friends were giving him, however, he was able to make a guess who it might be.

           “That’s me?”

           “It is,” said Titania solemnly.

           “Oh, man, what are we gonna do?” cried Ramirez, who was clawing at his face in his anxiety, “If he finds Dr. McGucket we’re done for! I don’t wanna deal with the existential horror of vanishing forever!”

           “I do,” whispered Cobweb cheerfully.

           “What are they even doing here in the first place,” Titania asked, angrily turning to her servants for an explanation. “If I’m not mistaken, I sent you four out with a letter three weeks ago letting them know about an alternate Fiddleford staying here! Care to explain what exactly went wrong with that incredibly simple task?”

           “Um, well, about that…” said Peaseblossom, looking incredibly guilty.

           “It’s all her fault, not mine,” said Mustardseed, who nonetheless proudly clapped Peaseblossom on the back.

           “We ran into some… unpleasantness along the way,” Cobweb explained.

           “Peaseblossom got into a fight with all the gnomes and she broke their faces,” cried Moth excitedly, “because they stole the note and said you were mean for not marrying them!”

           “They ripped it up and called you—well, they called you something really inappropriate, and sexist, and I’m not going to let them say gross, chauvinist things about the queen,” said Peaseblossom, looking down at her feet in shame.

           “Aw, Sweet Pea,” said Titania, her expression thawing as she knelt down to give Peaseblossom a hug, “I appreciate that, I really do, but couldn’t you have just told McGucket the message in person?”

           “Well… I thought we did… sort of,” said Peaseblossom, looking even more embarrassed than ever.

           “We let Moth tell them,” said Cobweb bluntly.

           “What… what exactly did you tell them,” said Fiddleford, his heart drumming rapidly in his chest as his alternate self drew closer to the mansion. Eclipse Manor was a large place, but there was no way he could hide from his alternate self forever.

           “I thought I was pretty clear,” said Moth, shrugging. “I threw a big old rock through the window of his mansion and screamed ‘Don’t go near my house or you’ll die!’ Then I ran off before he could call the cops. Do you think I should have thrown a bigger rock?”

           “I honestly don’t know what we expected,” sighed Mustardseed.

           “Potatoes and Molasses, there ain’t no time to lose,” said Fiddleford, his knees bouncing together rapidly as he paced around the room. “We gotta get out of here before I meet myself—er, before me meets him—ah, before, oh, who gives a gosh dang right now, IF WE SEE OR TOUCH EACH OTHER, WE’RE ALL DONE FOR!”

           “Hey, hey, breathe,” said Titania, patting her friend on the back comfortingly, “no need for caps lock—we’ll stop the two of them from entering and calmly explain the situation.”

           “Or,” said Corduroy dryly, “We can just have your servants kidnap Dr. Pines and that’ll keep him distracted.”

           “Pardon?” said Titania, and both she and Fiddleford heard a screech out the window that sounded like an enraged feral cat. Mustardseed and Cobweb had snuck out of the office, unseen by the rest of the group during Fiddleford’s panic, and were now currently lobbing a very annoyed Stanford Pines back and forth in midair like an oversized volleyball above an infuriated McGucket. The old hillbilly spat, cursed and at one point began to angrily hambone at the two fairies, demanding they put his fiancé down at once, but to no avail.

           “Well… I suppose that’ll work,” said Fiddleford, who knew they had to keep moving if they wanted to make their escape. He turned to Ramirez and Corduroy, and businesslike, he said, “get the research team into the library at once—we have a lot of data to take with us and we’ll need to move quickly.”

           The security officers nodded, both bolting out of the room to catch the others once he had finished speaking. Fiddleford sighed; he wished he didn’t spend most of his last day in Faerie taking a nap. There still felt like so much he could do in this strange, marvelous land, it was a pity to say goodbye so soon.

           “Are you really going to leave already,” said Daya, who pouted at the old man in disappointment.

           “I hate to leave early, little guy, but it ain’t safe for me to be here anymore,” said Fiddleford, once again patting the boy on the head.

           “We’ll see each other again,” reassured Titania, who took Fiddleford by the hand as they headed towards the library. “We’ll just have to figure out a way to coordinate these little visits first.”

             There was a mad rush trying to get all of the research that the team had collected into transportable boxes and bags; eventually, Titania ended up enchanting a sturdy, burlap bag to hold everything in one place so the team could get moving at once. Once everything was secure and in its place, Titania waved her wand and teleported the group back to the entrance of the ruins, the portal that lead out of Faerie and back to their own home.

           “We were going to have a party for your going away,” said Titania, giving Fiddleford a firm hug as the team began to disappear one-by-one through the gateway, “But I suppose we’ll just save that for the next time you visit. Here. I wanted to give you this before you left.”

           She reached into her purse and pulled out a framed picture, the exact copy of the photo Titania kept in the library of Alternate Fiddleford’s family.

           “Tanya, you are a treasure,” said Fiddleford, pulling the Queen into yet another bear hug. As he pulled away, he smiled and pulled out an envelope from his sweater pocket.

“Now, before I go,” said Fiddleford, handing the envelop to the Queen, “Do you mind passing something along for me?”

           “Of course,” said Titania with that signature, warm smile of hers.

           “Make sure my alternate self gets it,” said Fiddleford, who felt a wave of melancholy crash over him as he turned to face the dark entrance back to his own world.

           “I shall. Have a safe journey home, Fidds. I’ll miss you.”

           “Likewise, your Majesty.”

           With that, Fiddleford stepped through the doorway and with great reluctance, left the world of Faerie behind.

             Titania arrived back at Eclipse Manor as soon as Fiddleford and his team had left, and, after getting her girls to release Ford and calming down a very angry McGucket, she explained all about the other Fiddleford’s visit, and apologized profusely for not telling them earlier.

           “This could have been a serious disaster,” said Ford gravely. He remembered hearing the horrific account of the imploded dimension during his own stay at the Institute. To think such a chilling fate could befall his own Fiddleford was too awful to even imagine. “I’m glad you stopped us when you did.”

           “What a bad time to invite ya to the engagement party next weekend,” said McGucket; he didn’t quite understand the weight of what had almost happened, but was relieved that everything had sorted itself out.

           “When he left,” said Titania, presenting the envelope to the couple with a wave of her wand, “He said he wanted you to have this.”

           Nervously, Fiddleford reached out and took the envelope, ripping it open to find a letter addressed to him:

           Dear, Well, Myself,

           This is all probably very confusing, but I come from a different timeline where I run an Institute with my Stanford. I’ve seen lots of things in my day since we managed to get that conflabbing portal under control; some of it wonderful, and some of it as terrifying as that first day we faced the Gremoblin when we were younger. What I want to tell you most though is this: you’re doing fine. You’ve got some darn wonderful people in your life, and they seem awful glad to have you in theirs.

Be sure to keep Stanford in line—mine’s pushing seventy and he’s still as reckless as ever. Whatever would they do without us?

Wishing You Well,

F.H. McGucket

He held the letter for a long time after he read it, and, after being asked by both the Queen and Ford if he was feeling alright, McGucket tucked the letter into his pocket, where he would keep it for the rest of his life.

             In another dimension, far away, Fiddleford McGucket settled back into his own bed. No matter how fabulous and interesting Faerie had been, thought Fiddleford as he drifted off to sleep, there was nothing quite like the comfort of your own bed after a long time away from home.

[ceslawrites]

WIP: Fiddleford in Fairyland, Part Two

Here’s a quick look at the second half of my story for the first week of @fiddleford-appreciation-month-- have a look below the cut!

           Fiddleford would later look back on his time in Faerie as one of the best research experiences of his career. For example, the library where the research team had set up their base was vast and plenty in books about the history and culture of Faerie, and Titania was more than happy to point out which books were more helpful than others.

           “Look at this,” said Fiddleford one morning when the Queen had stopped by to visit the team. He held up a large, leather-bound book that was embossed with ornate flowers on the cover. “I think I found something that might come in handy,” he continued, flipping through some of the pages as he spoke, “it’s some kind of journal written about a few hundred years ago, maybe it’ll show us something about the past we haven’t seen before—”

           “Oh, hell no!” Titania’s face was a mixture of amusement and horror as she laid eyes upon the book. “That’s my diary from when I was a dorky teenager,” the Queen explained, her face flushed as she tried to take the book from Fiddleford.

           “Oh? Well that’s even better,” Fiddleford chuckled, an impish grin painted across his face as he held the book out of her reach, “I cain’t recall if I’ve ever read a first hand account about the awkward teenage years of a Queen before!”

           “Give me that!”

           “Never!”

           Aside from some lighthearted teasing here and there, however, the Queen remained and invaluable ally to the research team’s mission. Though Titania was often busy in political briefings and in her office performing the difficult duties of running a country, she would make time to visit Fiddleford and the others, even going so far as to consent to giving brief interviews about her life and responsibilities as the Queen of the Fairies. It had been she who had suggested Fiddleford interview other citizens beside herself, and so, with either Corduroy or Ramirez in tow, Fiddleford traveled the countryside and began conducting interviews with the people of Faerie.

           What interesting people they were too—creatures that he had only ever seen in storybooks could be found in every crevice of this strange land. There were ogres who sang and danced in critically acclaimed musicals, leprechauns that baked cupcakes for a living, centaurs that bussed tables at bars run by dwarves; there was even a man who claimed to be the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States, who was now mayor of a small town just a few miles away from Eclipse Manor. Everyone seemed to have a story, and Fiddleford gladly collected his or her thoughts with the help of his team.

           At the end of every exciting day, Fiddleford and his team would return to Eclipse Manor, where they would eat a hearty, delicious dinner wit the Queen and her family, and would spend the rest of the evening playing games in the garden or watching movies in the Queen’s parlor.

           It was a fine, comfortable sort of life; Fidds couldn’t remember a time when he had felt more at ease since he and Stanford had founded the Institute thirty odd years ago. Fiddleford jokingly wrote to his husband one day that might just try to move him and the rest of the family to Faerie full time. He was in no hurry to rush back to the never ending bustle that came from running an Institute of the Odd when things were so relaxing in this magic kingdom.

           Things changed, as they inevitably do, when another Fiddleford McGucket had shown up at Eclipse Manor’s gates one sunny afternoon.

[maniacwatchestheworld]

Remember how I said that Fiddleford would be the first US president who is a single divorcee? Unless... Well, it is time for me to discuss that unless! After all, that above fact wouldn't be true... If Fiddleford became the first US president who is married to another man. And I just have to say... Hearing that Ford wants his best buddy to lose this election because he thinks it's bad for Fiddleford's blood pressure is the cutest and most "concerned spouse" thing I have ever heard Stanford do!

Ford² is a quality ship and while I do have doubts that it would ever become canon... Boy howdy do I look at Journal 3 sometimes and think... There's no way that Fiddleford isn't at least bi. He must have had a crush on Ford or something. Because the kinds of stuff he does throughout Journal 3? That kind of stuff is beyond straight best buddies™ behavior. I do tend to ask myself if this kind of stuff was intentional on Alex Hirsh's part. Because... Just... DAMN would I love to see these dorks get married in their old age!

And so if they did get married... And Fiddleford becomes the 45th president of the United States... That would make Fiddleford the first out LGBT US president! Which would be rad as hell and I would love for that to be canon! But also, the idea of Ford being the first First Gentleman just... Absolutely tickles me pink!

Like... Ford having the duties of the First Lady. I love that idea. Because he would absolutely HATE it! Like, First Ladies don't necessarily have to do anything per se. Their duties are primarily social in nature with maybe a few traditional tasks thrown in there for fun. And Ford would just HATE having to go to social functions like that. Like, he would know that ind of stuff's important and it would be rude for him not to attend, but don’t expect him to be anything except bitter for every second that he’s forced to be there!

I can just imagine other politicians whispering to one another like, "The president's actually really nice... But his husband..." "I know, right? I tried to start some polite conversation with him, and I almost got my head chewed off for it!" Ford would pretty much only be friendly when he gets to talk about nerd shit with Fiddleford at these junctions... Which you know, would leave all of the other politicians and representatives confused because it's like they're speaking a whole different language.

Ford would absolutely hate being First Gentleman and I would love to see it... At least he would hate it at first. Fiddleford probably wouldn't even have to ask Stanford to do things, he just would as a natural evolution and progression from doing these social events. I can easily see Stanford starting to use his influence and newfound position of power to try and do some good. Maybe he would start pushing for better education and funding in the United States. He may go off and try to strengthen the US' relationship with another nation. He may push for some technological and scientific advancements and programs to be given a higher priority.

I can just see Stanford hating the role of First Gentleman, but then slowly but surely fully throwing himself into the position to the point where he starts to go overboard with it. Just like he does with most things he gets into! Before long, he's staying up all night, burning the candle at both ends with the stuff he’s trying to accomplish with his position, forcing to Fiddleford have to wrangle him to bed like, "Stanford, you're workin’ too hard again. You've been stressin' about all this stuff so much lately, I’m worried that you’re goin’ to work yourself to death. And I'm the president! If anyone should be overworkin’ themselves to death, that should be me! Now come to bed. I don't want to see you losin' hair over this."

Just like... Holy fuck are these two nerds cute! Especially together! But yes. Another reason to love the idea of Fiddleford McGucket being the 45th president of the United States. The possibility of Ford having to act as the First Lady. First Gentleman!Ford is just too good an idea to want to pass up!

[maniacwatchestheworld]

Over the course of less than a day, the Gravity Falls timeline has officially become one of my favorite alternate histories in fiction.

Because no Trump? AND Fiddleford is president? AND everyone gets 100 foot spider robots? FUCK YEAH! Sign me up!

[stephreynaart]

Giant Spider Robits for everyone!!!

Also Ford being a protective BF.