#probably one at a time. yk. be sane about it.

[gotham-daydreams]

For your Not [] I was wondering how would Alfred and Y/n's relationship post kidnapped will go? Down the drain? Sure, they may have some reprieve from the rest of the family with Alfred, but would they resent Alfred for causing them to come back to the manor? After gathering the clues it was Alfred that pushed them to find you.

Also would Y/n have eventually gotten back into contact with Alfred after taking their much needed break away from the family, to help figure out and find themselves?

Well, that's the thing, I suppose!

I have thought about their relationship post kidnapping, and honestly I don't even know if the reader will ever logically know the extent of what Alfred has done to ensure that they stay in the position they're in. Especially, well, considering how I plan for Chapter 4 to go.

Of course at some point they'll definitely be able to deduce that he did something- they'll be able to tell from the things some of the Batfam says and just generally how Alfred acts, even if said things they catch with Alfred aren't all as they seem. But if they'll know the full extent of it? How much he played a part in what happened? In what ends up happening? Maybe not, not everything but maybe enough to be afraid. To get a peak into the ruin and shitty mess that is their life, and the true extent of that ruin. But a glance is only a glance, y'know?

I guess that's the scary thing - for me personally, anyways - that they won't know right away. That even when it happens they'll have no idea, and for those moments where they remain ignorant, unaware, and blind- Alfred is their saving grace. The only sane person amongst the endless sea of madness and derange that is the Batfam. The only person that seems to under their side, that not only comforts them but someone they actually feel comfortable and safe with. Alfred is the only one they trust, and... well, I rather not spoil how he feels about that.

Though, for the reader- from the little they put together and the little they know, its heartbreaking all the same. They don’t want to accept it- who would? The only person after being stripping and taken from their life- is just as insane as the rest? The only person they felt like they could confide in? That they could trust? That they could allow themselves to be vulnerable with when the others were away? That person is just as insane? Just as cunning and- and tricked them too?

It ruins them, and even if I won't say much else as it will be shown when I have it written- I think what I've said here is a good enough image of how badly things get from there once the reader even gets an idea of what Alfred may have potentially done. Though even if they did reach out now, they would probably still hold the whole "everything is fine" attitude they've got going on, and just try to talk to him normally- if not then at least passively mention how the family is sort of being weird and giving you a hard time (will that cause him to stop them? Not at all, but maybe things could've turned out differently. Which may be a recurring thing?? Well- it sort of already is but yk!)

As for the reader reaching out- I think I mentioned this in an previous (albeit older) post a bit in passing, but the reader has technically been in touch with Alfred! Just... not in a way he prefers. They are technically communicating with him, but it's very one sided (which is by design) and... well, may or may not be one of the reasons Alfred kick started this mess.

If this didn't answer your question then I apologize! Feel free to send in another ask if you want, and I can clarify anything you have any questions about!

[wonbons]

heyy this is my first ask ever lol

wanted to see like riize reactions to someone walking in on you guys while you’re 👀 yk!!

could i possibly be ☁️ anon as well? 🫶🏾

HIIIIII!!! OFC u can be cloud anon!!! anyways, here we go!!!

warning: mdni, public sex kinda, exhibitionist, dirty talking

☆ riize reaction to someone walking in while you're having smeggsy time

shotaro: he would laugh ngl... he would literally giggle and say "sorry!" and then continue when the person close the door ISTG this man

eunseok: well! another barbarian! he won't say sorry tho, he will just "oops!" and will definitely continue after the person runaway! he would then say things to you like "do you like it when we get caught like this?" ok i will stop here.

sungchan: ...another barbarian, i'm so sorry... he would be the most crazy tho?? he would ask like "what? do u want to join?" teasingly to the person while still pounding like? that man is sick (me too)

wonbin: he's not barbarian but he doesn't give any fuck. he probably doesn't notice it too so he will keep going and focusing on you.

seunghan: he's more concerned about you!!!! like, if you're uncomfortable he would definitely covers you so quick. but if you CLENCH?????? oh girlie... he will smirks and whisper nasty things to you "oh you dirty little slut, you love it when someone caught us, don't you?"

sohee: 90s playboy would be the only sane guy who's gonna be mad at the person who walk in. he would be like "excuse me?" and the person would be surely runaway cause??? he's kinda scary when he's serious like that idk. he would ask you if you're okay and would only continue if you're really okay. WOULD TEASE YOU IF YOU CLENCH....

anton: depends! if he's feeling shy and not in his element that day, he would cover you up so quick, no one can see you guys like that. BUT if he's kinda feeling himself that day? or you're in the pool? oh boy... same like those barbarians above, he would smirk and won't give a fuck...

[imrllytootiredforthis]

OMG CY IMMTHINKING thinking about fucking soobie or seungmin (cause those are both my biases) with a dildo that squirts fake cum, you'd be fucking them ofc and they'd be unaware, then before they cum you yk idk push the button or smth and "cum" in them and they squirt☹️☹️ idek like it was a bit inspired by you and that other person talking about having a dick🤲🏾

no bc i might be a tiny little bit obsessed with breeding and cumplay-like😵‍💫 (i am sincerely sorry for my filthy thoughts)

fucking them with one of those, them completely unaware of the fact. as loud as they usually are, clutching at your shoulders and trying to pull you in for a kiss, threading their fingers through yours because they wanna feel close to you so bad.

legs shaking, whimpering out incomprehensible nonsense from how fucked dumb they are.

until they're about to cum.

"Deeper-deeper, please fuck me deeper, i need it!"

the smirk curling at your lips, with a particular harsh thrust and a significantly loud gasp they're clawing at your back. "want me further in you? want me fucking you full of me, of my cum? wanna be full of my babies? huh-make you a mommy?"

they'd probably lose they're fucking mind at your little 'surprise', cumming harder than they've ever in their entire life. eyes crossing, watering, crying, back arching, clutching at you, trying to stay sane as you fill them up.

they'd watch so closely too when you pull out. watching, going completely hard again at the sight of it leaking out of them, using their fingers to push it back in, or even better, your fingers to fuck it back in. perhaps using it as lube to finger them until they cum one more time. even as they'd whine all the while, deliriously telling you to be careful, not wanting to waste a single drop of it.

putting a plug in afterwards to keep everything inside, they could go about their entire day like this, feeling warm and horny. knowing that they're filled to the brim with your love.

[johnslittlespoon]

thinking unholy thoughts of gale making john come untouched with only his fingers in the biker au… maybe john didn’t even know it was possible so when gale keeps going he gets confused and is like “i’m good im ready” but gale keeps going 😅

au post | ohhh man okay. yeah feeling super extremely sane and normal about this, never been better! thanks! ~2k words of nsfw filth below the cut sighhhh

okay, prefaced with a little more world building in my last post since we're really diving into this au now LOL. ofc things might change when i actually write it, but this is how i'm feeling things will go rn!

re: 'maybe john didn't even know it was possible'– like i said in the drabble before this, he's fooled around a little with curt, but nothing more than getting a bit handsy. he's had a girlfriend for around a year, so they were probably serious enough to get up to things too, but straight sex is very different from gay sex obviously.

the internet exists, and during the time john is pining(thirsting) over gale, he probably does his fair share of googling 'blond man with tattoos fucks brunet man', but really he's kinda intimidated by a lot of stuff, so he doesn't delve too deep into that world. when he and gale start seeing each other and john realizes they're gonna move past making out eventually (because gale is almost such a gentleman sometimes that john wants to bash his head in in his impatience), he probably psychs himself out a bit and gets into his own head and is like fuck.

gale's had years to gain experience and what if he's not good enough or does something stupid or or or, on and on. obviously these worries are completely unfounded because gale adores him and would never pressure him and doesn't expect them to just jump right into things; half of the reason he probably drags things out is because he wants to be absolutely certain things are on john's terms, and that john's not just being horny and impulsive.

john probably ends up trying to do some research so he can yk. pick up some tips, because he's got all the enthusiasm he needs when he thinks about getting to drop to his knees for gale, but he has no idea what he's doing and he doesn't realize everyone learns as they go because he's dumb (/fond) and overthinks everything. (whatever he ends up learning doesn't matter anyway, because all coherent thought leaves his head when they do start doing stuff together and gale is so encouraging and easygoing that he feels ridiculous for ever worrying.)

all that is to say that yeah, he's got like no firsthand experience when it comes to anything past the basics or anything he hasn't been doing by himself. everything is fresh and exciting and as much as he loves just hanging around gale, he's also always needy and horny (gets told he's "insatiable" quite a few times by gale) so they get up to a lot of shit and it's unfair how good gale is in bed and how he knows exactly which buttons to press to get john worked up.

at the time this incident happens, gale's already fingered john a few times, but it's always just as a build up/foreplay, usually followed or joined with gale's other hand or lips around john's cock. they haven't had sex yet, and it feels really nice when gale does this, but john always just kinda sees it as foreplay and it doesn't last for long.

so when gale's got john laid in his bed one sunny afternoon and they're making out and john starts getting whiny and squirmy from the stimulation of his fingers in him, and gale doesn't switch things up like he usually does, john's heart leaps because in his mind, surely gale's getting him ready for something else.

but he's frustrated because it feels like gale's purposefully avoiding hitting right where he needs him to, pants out gale's name against his lips, grasping the back of gale's shirt. starts rocking his hips down against his fingers, seeking it out, and gale rumbles out a "needy thing" before pressing a kiss to his cheek and crawling down the length of his body, settling himself between john's legs.

john props himself up on his elbows to watch, cheeks flushed and eyelids heavy, digging his fingers into the blanket instead. he lets out a little whine at the slow drag of gale's fingers, and that finally makes him cave, crooking his fingers just right, and john's lips part at the way the sudden surge of pleasure zings up his spine.

lets his elbows slide out from underneath himself, dropping back down into the pillow, satisfied he's finally getting what he's been waiting for since gale worked him open ten minutes ago. he waits for stimulation on his cock to join the fingers in him as usual, assuming that's why gale moved to lay there, but gale just keeps up the slow in and out and consistent brushes against his prostate and its embarrassing how much he's leaking all over his own stomach.

but then he has the thought that maybe gale's actually properly prepping him and his cock twitches and his breath catches and he props himself up again to find gale already watching him. he waits expectantly, too shy to ask, and gale doesn't offer him any confirmation, just pressing gentle kisses to his thighs and smiling when john's hips start to roll down against his fingers again.

john thinks that maybe gale's waiting for him to say he's ready, since he does often make him ask for what he wants, so even as his cheeks go hot, he gets out a breathy "gale, i'm– that's good, 'm ready."

but gale only chuckles quietly, nipping at his thigh to feel it twitch away, watching john in a way that makes him feel somehow even more exposed than he already is, and now he's even more confused and he feels like he's melting into the bed and gale's putting a little more pressure into each crook of his fingers and the sounds he's making are so whiny and high pitched that he wants to cover his own ears out of embarrassment.

"does it feel good, doll?" gale purrs, dragging john's eyes back to him, and he nods, twisting his hands in the blankets harder. it does feel good, enough so that heat is pooling in his stomach in a way that's both familiar and foreign, the sensation all different with no friction against his dick.

gale's working his hand a little faster and john's face burns at the realization that he's being finger–fucked like a girl and he drops back into the pillows, arms going too weak to hold himself up. his thighs are starting to tremble and gale murmurs that he's "making such a mess on yourself, baby, look at you" and john immediately reaches down to take his dick in his hand, but gale catches his wrist with his free hand, slowing his movements down, much to john's dismay.

"no hands today, john," he says gently, letting go of his wrist. "i want you to keep them at your side for me, can you do that?"

and john lets out a near hysterical noise but he obliges, grabbing fistfuls of the blanket again, head spinning at being given an instruction, biting down on the inside of his cheek when gale speeds his fingers up again with a "good job, baby."

the heat builds and builds as gale's fingers hit right where they need to each time, and it feels like he's just hanging on the edge of an orgasm for so long, unable to tip over that edge, eyes blurring over from how overwhelming the drawn out sweet–hot pleasure is. he's mindlessly rocking his hips down and panting out little "ah ah ah"s with each thrust of gale's fingers and he's so close to lifting his hand from his side when a sob of frustration slips out.

but gale presses his lips to his thigh again, sucking at the sensitive skin there, pulls back to murmur a stream of "c'mon sweet thing, come on my fingers, show me how good you feel, you can do it" and john chokes out a cry as he clenches around his fingers and comes so hard he nearly blacks out, back arching and hips stuttering up like he can get friction that way.

gale's hand chases his jerking movements, continuing to fuck him on his fingers as john paints his own stomach, cock pulsing, feeling like he's just going to keep coming and coming, mewling desperately and shaking like a leaf and seeing stars behind his closed eyelids.

he closes his thighs against gale's sides when it starts to be too much, hands shaking when reaches down to tiredly push at him, hips stuttering away from the stimulation, hiccupping as he tries to catch his breath. he can feel hot tears soaking into the hair at his temples, lips parted in surprise, shuddering when gale lets his movements slow down until his fingers go still.

john whines when he pulls them out, despite his efforts to squirm away from them moments before, and gale presses a kiss to his hip before he crawls back up his body, cupping john's face with the hand not covered in lube, and john's eyes flutter open, bleary when they focus in on the expression of awe on gale's face.

"fuck, john," gale sounds almost as breathless as him. "you're crying, baby. was that okay?" john nods shakily, tilting his chin up for a kiss, and gale leans down without missing a beat, kissing him so deep it feels like he wants to devour him. mumbles "you have no idea what you do to me" against john's lips, brushing his fingers over the tear streaks on either side of his face, peppering his red cheeks with light kisses before pulling back again.

"felt good?" he murmurs, and john chokes out a laugh at the understatement, draping his wrist over his forehead. "really good," he breathes out, flushing when he opens his mouth again, "didn't know that was, um. a thing." and gale half laughs, half groans at the admission, rolling his hips down, and john sucks in a sharp breath at the drag of his pants, cock twitching even after all that.

gale doesn't mind; he's more than happy to watch his pretty boy fall apart on his fingers, mouth, cock, as many times as john lets him.

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

[tomurasmoleunderhislip]

Shouta in love headcanons:

Ignore my grammar mistakes/shitty English

It would be pretty easy to notice when he is in love, because yk he's grumpy with everyone else until you appear. Please you can see him relaxing his shoulders, his tone being more gentle, calm and that little soft blush creeping on his face.

He didn't notice at first that he's in love with you until Hizashi pointed it out how he's looking at you and becoming all soft when you are talking to him. I can imagine him telling Hizashi to shut up and would probably deny it all as well he would rather bury himself alive than admit he's in love with you.

I feel like he would be pretty insecure and become a little distand because he thinks he has no chance with you and that you deserve better, but still he would be really sweet towards you.

Mic would mock him 100% and tease him until Shouta smacks him in face with his scarf 💀💀💀.

But yeah he would help you two get together since y'all both are insecure bitches scared of rejection and thinking they deserve better me fr🔥🔥.

One day when school day was over and weekend was starting, Shouta walked up to you and awkwardly asked "Are you free this weekend? If yes would you like to go out with me?"

You were pretty surprised, took you a while to process what was happening 💀

but you accepted ofc and asked him where you two would meet up.

I just know y'all's first date would be either at cat cafe or cinema, and he would pick you up at your place with his car. At first he thought about inviting you at his place but than he changed his mind and thought who tf has first date at eachothers place 😭. Okay but your other dates would be at eachothers place when you two become closer.

He definitely won't confess first since he's awkward as hell, so you will have too. When you confess to him how you feel towards him, man is out of words literally, and suddenly his brain stopped working, wait, so you telling him you felt same this whole time?! Y'all insecure fucks. You got scared for second by his reaction and asked him is he okay. Shouta would be red and embarassed as hell when he realizes he looked like a dumb goat staring at rainbow door. But ya after all that awkwardness you two ended up together finally somehow 😻.

Of course all that awkwardness and shyness will go away after some time dw. If you are introverted like him thas 🔥🔥🔥 he won't have to worry and overthink his ass where would you like to go out on other dates. Like I said other dates would be definitely at cafe or at eachothers place. You two would usually have movie night and stuff like that and it's cheaper so better 💯.

At first he isn't really affectionate would take some time but not too much ofc for him to get comfortable finally. His love language is probably quality time and when together alone psychical affection <3. He doesn't like PDA but it's alright since I don't like it as well.

Likes more to show you his love with actions than with words.

Anyways now for nicknames/pet name's I see most of people saying that he would call his s/o kitten, sorry y'all but I cringe so badly when I hear or read that and I feel like he would be too uncomfortable to call his s/o like that I mean it's so weird and like, yes he's cat person but not a fkn furry or discord mod LMFAO💀.

I kin him so Idgaf what y'all say and this is my opinion 🖤, it would be more accurate that he'd call his s/o: darling, sweetheart, my little bat 🦇 and shit like that, I'd do the same so yasss 🤡.

Napping and cuddling all day together 24/7. He loves spooning you, hugs you from behind while laying together and buries his face in your neck/hair or you just lay your head on his chest. Doesn't mind you spooning him too, he just wants to be with you and nothing else matters, you are the only one keeping him sane.

I feel like Shouta would love it sm when you would shower his whole face with kisses, only when you two are alone ofc. And he gives me a feeling that he'd like to kiss his s/o the most on their forehead, neck and nose but lips too. His kisses are soft and quick most of time yeah. Usually gives you them when going to sleep or work <3.

He doesn't get jealous easily, but can be a little bit protective sometimes. If someone makes you uncomfortable in front of him, he'll put his arm around your shoulder/waist and just stare into their soul, It always works. He just wants best for you <3.

Also where's Aizawa fans? Most of them just disappeared 💀 but okay, hope y'all like this <3.

Writing shit about my comfort charachers becoming my coping mechanism now literally.

[nicosraf]

Hi Rafa!

Back again in your inbox and I have what’s probably a silly question but I am nothing but silly and goofy so I’ll ask anyway

I was thinking about yk the verious depictions of lucifer (as every sane and normal person does) and it got me wondering onwhat made you decide to characterise Lucifer the way you did, mainly because usually in modern media he’s very much seen as a anti-hero and mostly he’s seen as a good (-ish) guy that didn’t do too much wrong, the rebellion is usually very much written off as something akin to teenage rebellion and God is just seen as a disappointed parent that had no other choice but teach a lesson to his kids (and well that is of course because gods forbid someone sees God as anything less than the perfect father but I digress), for example the Lucifer series does this and in part too hazbin hotel.

And idk it was refreshing to see your read of Lucifer, he starts good and very much kidlike and then his wonder and love become corrupt I’d say, I struggle to call him evil because well for one I have what could be considered too much sympathy for him and I understand him, he was set up to fail in a lot of ways. So I guess I just wonder what made you say “no I’m going to keep the “bad” and “evil” that is in him”

(I am aware that the answer is probably just well he’s like that in most classical depictions but idk I want to hear you ramble about Luci and his development because that’s always interesting and I love it ajdhsh)

Sorry for the confused ramble anyway lots of love from Italy <3

-J :)

Hello! This is a dangerous question!! I have many many essays I'd love to write about the depiction of Lucifer in media and about what eventually led me to making Lucifer like that. It's also fresh in my mind right now because I saw that Lucifer Hazbin Hotel episode recently. (I actually don't have a ton of thoughts on Hazbin Lucifer. He is very cute, but Hazbin isn't trying to be theological I think; it's just having fun with the mythology.)

I would say that societal depictions of Lucifer always mirror a lot of the way that society has come to understand not the devil, but God, parent-child relationships, authority, tradition, and so on. Some people think Paradise Lost was the first to make Lucifer a hero, but it's actually very clear that Milton wanted his flaws to outweigh the good things, to make Satan ultimately a bad person, and to justify God's actions to us.

Like 200 years later, William Blake started saying that Paradise Lost was pro-Lucifer, though by accident: "Milton was of the Devil's party without knowing it." But Blake lives in a very different time, during the French and American revolutions and the industrial revolution. Old traditions and empire are getting shaken up, the story of Lucifer looks a lot more heroic.

I won't get too much into how Satanic panic affected things (or even the rise of anti-theist communist regimes!), though I think the Satanic panic of the 90s really exacerbated Lucifer's connection to teenage rebellion. (Also, I'm focusing on the US because of how much their media is exported and influences other countries).

But so then we got the modern Lucifer I used to see quite a bit — suave, night club owning, slutty, probably referenced bisexual, manipulator of women. I always thought this development was kind of strange. It's almost like what Blake did to Milton's Lucifer; we didn't change how the people before us thought of him, we just decided that the Lucifer we're supposed to hate is actually super cool.

But I was not super compelled by this Lucifer. And I reference these lines a lot, but the idea of Satan in Western Christianity came from several passages from the Bible, one of which is Ezekiel 28, and I was really struck with line 14: “You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you," as well as the multiple times the chapter stresses that the cherub of Eden fell because of his corrupting beauty above all.

I realized I never really saw "blameless" Lucifer, innocent Lucifer. In a lot of interpretations, he's just sort of born wrong or always a little Evil. But the lines say that he was innocent once, and I got really caught up in that. I thought of God watching Lucifer be beautiful and innocent in all that time (like a voyeur).

It felt like the next step in Lucifer's development to take the child-parent relationship between him and God and make it ugly. (Though sticking with the dichotomy of good vs evil didn't really work for me. Lucifer isn't good but he's not evil either, and the weird love and hate mixture is what brings him closer to how God is, too (to me)).

We live in a day and age where all authority is being critiqued, where we don't laugh at teenage rebellion as much. I mean, if you watch any recent Disney movie, you'll see parents learning from their children to stop the cycle of generational abuse. And, of course, with Lucifer becoming so associated with queerness (Lil Nas' MONTERO for example), the framing that he's just a metaphor for a teen rebel who will one day realize his dad was right... falls apart. Lots of teens kicked out of their house for being gay are grown up now and making shows/movies/etc.,. And I think it's always better not to shy away from trauma victims being imperfect and, occasionally, cruel.

So. yeah! I've always been surprised that Lucifer as an imperfect victim of parental abuse, running away, taking some of his sibling with him, isn't more common in general.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hii

It's me again ✨

Could you write something about staying in bed and watching movies on a super cold rainy day with the papas(not just old nihil for once😂)? It's cold af today and my anemic self is suffering 🫠 and being delusional is helping yk💅🏽

The moment I saw your request, I immediately thought of Nihil. This one's short because I'm sick - Jez

Rainy days in bed with the Papas

Primo

He's not too much of a movie fan, to be honest. Manages to fall asleep during the darkest, goriest scenes purely because they don't really catch his focus.

He enjoys very few movies. His favorite is Les Miserables. Mainly because it's entirely sung.

He walks around and hums the songs later while working.

Prefers to read or solve crossword puzzles or sudoku and stuff like that. He enjoys reading to you or when you read to him.

Might bake with you if you ask nicely.

Will drape his robes over you if you're cold. And wrap you in a blanket.

Multiple blankets.

Makes you many hot herbal teas.

Acts more like a dad than lover on days like these.

Secondo

Gets a fucking headache. Cures it with whisky.

He might be a bit grumpier than usual, he's not a fan of weather like this.

Cuddle the old man, he needs it.

If you two decide to watch movies, he's gonna be really fucking picky about the movie.

He won't tell you what he wants, it's just a matter of you listing titles and him saying no to every single one of them until you finally find something he's willing to watch.

He probably picked something completely stupid, but absolutely not admit the movie is shit.

The movie totally was shit.

Terzo

Bro's gonna take it personally if you decide watching movies is more important than he is.

It's a rainy day, one of the very few days he gets to only pretend to work instead of actually working!

And you wanna watch a movie instead of doing other fun things? Really?

Don't get me wrong, he's fucking soft for you, he'll give in.

Will do some light groping from time to time as you cuddle.

If you tell him to stop or that you're uncomfortable with it, he stops and apologizes. He's pervy, yeah, but he's not a fucking creep.

Lots of kisses and hugs! He's touch starved!

Copia

Copia loves movies! He's got a full collection of his favorites waiting for days like that, just so he can cuddle with you and watch them.

The only one actually focused on the damn movies.

And the only way to distract him is to start touching him.

It's like a little game for you, how much he'll squirm and try to focus on the movie until he gives up watching and gives in to you.

Might get pouty afterwards of he really liked the movie.

Loves to play video games with you on days like these. And he has a perfect excuse, too! What else are you guys supposed to do, after all?

Unlike someone (ekhem, Terzo, ekhem), he's fucking sane about it.

Old Nihil

Only picks ancient movies from his youth that no sane person ever heard of.

And it's the most ridiculous movie ever, something that would totally get cancelled for being offensive nowadays.

If you tell him you don't like it, he might give you some shit about you not appreciating good movies.

Make a cute pouty face at him and his opinion changes completely.

In the end, he lets you pick the movie. Spends the entire time staring at you, dreamingly unless he's startled by a loud noise from the film.

Forgets about the noise within three seconds, goes back to staring at you. Fucking simp.

(The day I don't call Nihil a simp is the day I die)

Young Nihil

Kinda like Terzo, not interested in movies in the slightest.

Way more of an attention whore, though.

Literally whines about you liking a movie more than him.

And he whines like... A lot.

Enough to give up to movie idea completely.

He's gonna have a shit eating grin on his face when he "wins" your little argument.

And he will win. Kinda.

You get upset with him and don't talk to him for a few hours until he makes a joke that he actually kinda likes it.

Smack him and he's gonna laugh, claiming he knew that would get a reaction and that it was planned.

It was not planned, he's just a jackass who doesn't think before opening his mouth.

[indigos-stardust]

I'm super curious about the fruit bat vampire WIP.

Sorry I took like bajillion years- I was going chronological order, and then some stuff happened irl :') and I might've made an artworks for it

HOWEVER, you chose a very nice (and extremely self indulgent) WIP even though its.. underdeveloped to say the least

Basically there was a dangerous witch/poe causing shenanigans and the colors were sent out to deal with it. The Poe or whatever definitely was setting up curses, although they don't know what the curses were intended to be.

During their battle with him, he ended up shooting Vio, even though Vio swung it back with the four swords (I mean it is a light magic sword). After the battle though, Vio just... didn't seem cursed at all. He was fine, so they all assumed that the curse didn't hit Vio at all.

But then the side effects started. Around the same time there were investigations on what the poe had actually been up to. Which was starting to look like some sort of evil transformation ritual. (the poe was probably trying to convert life force to magic, but they don't know that.)

Meanwhile, Vios become "ill" and he's sent to the castle infirmary, unable to eat foods (not even bread??), constant headaches from sounds and smells, looking pale, has a horrendous sleeping schedule, and- tiny claws and teeth. Confusion and... loss of speech? They realize this isn't a normal illness. There's a tainted magic in his blood. Slowly, yet surely infecting and warping him.

He's starving.

They put some dots together and well- Yeah he's like just becoming a straight up vampire isn't he?

And then let's just say within the next 24 hours not only has vio hissed and scratched a guard in the face, but he's also escaped and become. :) let us just say it like it is, "freaky as hell"

Unfortunately I do not have a more detailed artworks of that, the best I have is this:

but I feel like it gives the vibes off appropriately.

hes just acting feral, hiding in the rafters n etc 💀 Yeah its kinda hard to hide the fact that your brother is cursed as hell and might want to eat people when he's just climbing the walls and acting feral.

its ok that he's a lil ugly, he's still cute, like bats are yk?

they tried to "reason" with him and get him to follow them so they could try to undo the magic but the conversation went something like:

"heyyyy viooooooooo"

"..."

"wooowwww you.. made a freaky nest up there! thats- thats cool- um, but I'm SURE YOUD LOVE SOME BLANKETS AND SMALL ANIMALS (and not people) TO EAT RIGHT??"

"..."

*waves blood packet of animal blood from the kitchen*

"psst psst psst"

vio: *screeching and scampering, tries to 'lunge' on them but then falls down a flight of stairs and disappears*

"well. that didn't go to plan . - . o- o y-y"

XD, anyways some knights up finding THE FERAL VAMPIRE??? and they're like we're gonna kill it!!! and then the colors have to explain that they cant because THATS VIO

and well, to say they get some... divided responses... he might jump red at one point but well...

the truth of everything is that the poe was cursing people into animals, as a way to feast off of their misery. He was trying to turn vio into a bat (the bat being a fruit bat btw) but it only really hit him half way. So now he's taken on physical and mental traits of a bat without a full transformation.

theres a point where he jumps red who, earlier in the day, had spilled juice on himself (lil guy COULD NOT reach the highest shelf and it spilled on his head lol, he was in the kitchen stress baking because they forced him to rest)

They do eventually manage to figure it out (or Zelda does, she realizes that his behaviours are just like Jeremy's... If your'e confused, everyone else was too, she had to explain that when she was trapped under Vaati and Ganon and just fighting for her sanity because of the dark magic n etc, she became friends with a bat that lived there... and named him Jeremy. She is so sane and not effected by her time there, she was totally not shown horribly images of her kingdom falling and being manipulated and etc....)

Anyways there's also a thin where he experienced torpor (mini hibernation) once things chill the hell down lol, but the colors think he dead 0-0, this has spent too long in my drafts so I'm just gonna post it sorry for being 7 decades late

[quidfree]

i love the old married couple portion of your follow up to sober ii (melodrama)! outsider povs just tickle the brain, especially in tsh where the characters are so just disconnected from normal society. out of curiosity, have you thought any more about how students/peers/other people view francis and richard throughout that au?

i love that portion too i think the idea of them as this long established couple (for all intents and purposes, altho they may have deviated from certain aspects of a nuclear family monogamous relationship) is so funny & interesting. like sober ii already does so much legwork from canon and then the followup even further so by the time we hit middle age it’s a free country for what is allowed.

you’re right in that the tsh cast are deep weirdos to anyone normal interacting w them. i think they have naturally changed somewhat by the time we reach them in that portion bc for francis he’s now (gag) middle class and sort of domesticated / for richard he’s like.. in a long term relationship w a man (it’s funny they have reverse things to get used to) & plus yk there’s the whole thing where they’re both deeply troubled individuals with abusive childhood drama and bad relationship history so probably sticking it out together has done some healing / good down the line. so in some ways they’re a little more Normal mentally. but that said they are still weirdo murderers with terrible personalities who would both annoy and enable each other so not that normal.

talking abt how they go from sober ii to where we see them in their 40s is a separate post so in terms of outsider pov specifically i’d say they do kind of stick to themselves (codependent freaks) but like in the neighbourhood / on campus / in montreal classics circles they def have relationships and certain uhh reputations that go with them.

richard’s students are a fairly niche group so i think as a whole they tend to like him- if nothing else he’s genuine in his love of the material and he’s attractive and kind of reserved so he’s probably at his least annoying / cringe / questionable when teaching despite his inner monologue. he probs has bad timekeeping (cf his flop job at hampden) and pretentious grading but generally okay. we know he comes across much more sane and sound to people who don’t know him well (very tartt, we love). and then they don’t know francis at all apart from Maybe as f. abernathy the classics translator guy. so realistically to the students they’re actually quite a cool addition to the student rumour mill. i think over the years there have been random glimpses of them but never anything interesting until the fic incident, or similar ones that make it obvious professor papen has what seems to be a boyfriend. then everyone is ‘literally obsessed’. i don’t know if anyone ever IDs them as witnesses to the hampden murder-suicides on a true crime podcast and then gets excited about their tragic backstory and inspiring romance, but that would be fun.

professional peers see more of them obviously, but they do still keep to themselves a lot. richard’s colleagues’ opinions vary depending on how much interaction they’ve had with him and in what context, bc he definitely has beef with administration and some colleagues whose courses he doesn’t respect. he’s professionally respectable though. francis is a fairly lowkey presence in translation- he got initial buzz from the julian student clout but he only sporadically networks. he definitely has culture friends who gossip amongst themselves about him vanishing from boston so close to the wedding and no one hearing from him until his book got published. alex from NY wants to fuck both of them but finds them annoying as talents and good in small doses as friends. most of that author circle is at least a little jealous of them as a couple, maybe because they flourish when amongst people they can close ranks on.

in terms of other canon charas… some of that feels like its own post too. judy does not particularly get why richard is into francis but she thinks they’re a hot item and she overall likes them and their weird little bohemian* lifestyle (*misrepresented). she thinks they’re a good match. charles would not have very nice things to say. i think he’d think richard ‘fell for it’ with francis. his own complicated relationship with francis would predispose him to think they weren’t a genuine item. if he saw them down the line as an established couple he would probably just find it funny. and camilla… she’s sort of like “good for you crazy kids”. like it’s completely random to her but it tickles her nihilistic brain. later esp if she’s around them in person for some reason she’s just completely on board with it and has a strong fondness for their relationship bc it’s like, this one weird positive thing to have come out of the whole hampden disaster, AND it’s taken a lot of the strain out of richard’s relationship to her even though he never especially lets go of his camilla-shrine. richard’s naturally Very Embarrassed about being in any way datey with francis around her but it tapers off with age/habit despite his best efforts. francis on the other hand perversely enjoys making richard uncomfortable around camilla. guess which one she enables.

[kunoimochi]

You know the drill, ehem, the 4th years + senju types please

I included my two new oc's hehe, sorry if there any grammar mistake I'm writing this in hurry

Sorry if the information is not much😭😭 I'm not really good with this type of headcanon 🫂 probably will rewriting this in future

- menori Arai

He like a bright and cheerful girl, someone who can handle his hassle personality and keep it up with his stupid ahh. He really appreciate if his future significant other good at cooking as he looking forward to eat delicious meal everyday. Want a lil spoon.

- burai Kasei

Burai not really have a type since romance are not his main priority. But he's the type of person who will fall in love with their friends so maybe someone he close and understanding. As long that person loyal to him that's enough.

- fuyuto koike

Aiyah this guy um, so fuyuto partner ideal kinda simple tho at least in my opinion. He want someone who can be a good talker that can hold a conversation well, someone who is not easily get sway away by his attractive classmates and probably just over the heels for him. If his future significant other appreciate him he of course will appreciate them back.

- Reku muto

LMAO BASED ON HIS PERSONALITY IS THERE'S ANYONE WHO WILLING TO DATE HIM?? PFFT– nah actually this what he be thinking about lol, he have the mindsets that people will not approach him especially in romantic aspect since he's the only 4th grader that doesn't get along with Kunoichis. I mean anyone literally anyone who like him probably will end up with him. It's kinda complicated to write this part for him actually since his personality complex is um idk how to say it but yeah that's all pretty much.

- kimio oye

He like someone who can share their interest with him, someone who he can spend quality time with without judging his personality and interest. Probably someone who approach him first because he's very awkward person .

- risaku yano

He doesn't have a type since he always unaware when he like someone.

- sunaoshi shimada

Not much but someone who will be his partner in crime will be great, someone who can keep up with his risky plan and still love him always eventho after he get possessed with his mask. Yk what no please help him get rid of the mask it's not like his future significant other can handle two person at the same time, unless–

- poki tamanaha

He like someone who have a fascinating look and a unique personality, someone who really beautiful, stunning and etc. He doesn't care about personality since he only go after good looking people.

- oujirou sakurazaki

Hehe this cutie potatie are not a picky person nor he have a types, he doesn't care if you a girl, a man, a alien or a complicated creatures, if he fall for u that mean he will love you always.

- shiroshi Uyehara

He probably will skip this question geez

- ryomie ozaki

Someone who will feel entertaining with his small show and his talent. Someone who didn't judge him or thing he's weird or anything. Probably like a ordinary girl since he want someone who normal that can keep him sane.

- senju date

She like someone who have good personality and very charming, someone who muscular and strong something like that. But tbh her case it's just like oujirou she doesn't care about it to much.

- Enri yoneda

She's very insecure with herself so she never thought about her types at all. She just wondering if there anyone who take her as example for their type. Probably no one lol

- Dohri goto

Man if that person wasn't weird she will be grateful af lmaoo

[archiiive]

How To Get My Husband On My Side

I usually love strong female characters and I love reading them. Not a big fan of weak or damsel in distress characters. But RUBY. Idk how to explain my thoughts and feelings about her. Ik it doesn't make any sense but I feel like this is what I'd feel about my own daughter if I had one (I just turned 20 last month lolol). Ruby is by far my most favourite manhwa fmc and the most beautiful girl in my eyes I'm not even exaggerating. Yall won't believe how many times I scroll back to see the panels Ruby is in. I don't think I've even replayed shirtless Izek that many times lmao. I just stare at her in awe. I can't help but smile. I just re read this manhwa for the 4th time today, I just keep coming back here. This manhwa is so beautiful, cute, sad, painful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I cry, smile, laugh, giggle, get angry, so many emotions all at once.

I feel so sad whenever I look at Ruby's eyes. I just wanna give her a hug. Ruby is by far one of the strongest characters I've ever read. Being strong doesn't necessarily mean being physically strong yk. Everything she's gone through, those are unimaginable. The fact that she's still sane is probably the biggest proof of how strong she is. Cause imagine being abused like she was for that many years (even in her previous life, or should I say lives), she's only suffering. I can't imagine how deep the trauma runs.

Every kind of Abuse destroy people. She has gone thorough so many kind of abuses. But man SA has got to be the most horrendous things to ever happen to someone, that too by her own brother, at her own house, for so many years, where the so called brother even spread rumour about their questionable relationship outside just so her marriages could be broken off. I can't imagine going through all of that everyday and still having to smile sweetly 24/7, not having anyone to share these with, no one to rely on and pretending to be completely fine. I'd never be able to last so long, I'd be long gone.

As much as I love Izek now, it's an undeniable fact that he was a jerk to her when she first came here. Okay he had his reasons cause her family couldn't be trusted yada yada but RUBY didn't deserve any of it. Good thing she escaped from the hell, her own house but then came here to be treated like a nuisance by her own husband. Okay he's changed now and he loves her and everything is good so I'll kinda forgive him too cause at least he's giving Ruby the love, warmth, support, reassurance, comfort now. She needed them so bad. She really needed someone to confide in.

Whenever I see her holding things in and not being able to talk about her past traumas and abuse with anyone and silently putting up everything that fu*king Cesare bitch a**hole ugly looking piece of sh*t son of a wh*re does in fear that things will get worse, I just want to go get myself off by a truck and isekai into the story and stab that filthy guy until my hands fall of. I don't think I ever hated or will hate anything as much as I hate Cesare. This manhwa keeps breaking me but I still keep coming back for Ruby and maybe a little bit for Izek too, love to see them together.

I'm so mad she had to endure all of that. Idc what Ruby does or ever did. I'd support her even if she were to take initiative to end the world. I'd gladly let her destroy everything, kill everyone including me if that's what she wanted, I'd give her everything she could've ever asked for and even more cause RUBY my love deserves everything. Okay but why do I sound like a mom tho lolol. I guess Izek has a stronger competition now cause at least I'd never treat that angel like precious munchkin the way he did in the past hmph.

So in conclusion what I wanted to say is, I LOVE RUBY. My loveliest most adorable bestest sweetheart. My heart swells with love everytime she smiles. She shines so bright I fear. Ruby is the most amazing, Ruby is the most beautiful, Ruby is the strongest, i wanna bawl my eyes out everytime I look at her eyes. And if anyone tries to hurt my Ruby and talk shit about her, I'm personally coming for you, you better sleep at night with an eye open. Cause Ruby might be the sweetest but I'm certainly NOT.

[hsmtmts-arrows]

okay SO basically, i was kinda half-asleep and half dreaming, yk??? like the thoughts just Come to u. it was like that

( /// TW TRANSPHOBIC LILY BECAUSE SHE SUCKS . ALSO SOME INTERNALIZED TRANSPHOBIA BC RICKY'S GOIN THRU IT // )

(i'd put it under a read more but. it's an ask)

so basically ricky was trans and had already told gina and a few of the wildcats, and just like in s2 canon he stays with lily for a while and. yk how ricky is abt to go w lily when he finds his harness and realizes she stole it and tried to ruin the show?

yeah, well.

when he does, she gets way way more defensive than in canon, and rebutts with a "well, you didn't tell me you're a girl so we can call it even."

ricky's heart drops. soul shatters. he feels hot and cold at once. he can only respond with a feeble, "what?" that's weak even to his own ears.

"i mean, come on, richie... what's even your real name?" her eyes light up. "rachel? rose? r—"

"stop." he whispers, and she rolls her eyes. "how did you—"

"i found out weeks ago." she tells him with a flippant wave of the hand, and he waits, but she doesn't elaborate. "i mean, how long are you planning to keep up this... delusion? you know it can't last forever, richie, or whoever you really are. do the wildcats even know?"

"yes." he says, trying to bring up anything of defiance even though his heart is seizing and catching. "and they—they support me no matter—"

"do they really see you like that, richie?" she's suddenly sympathetic, and he knows she means it like a balm, but it feels like acid. "i mean, they're obviously just doing it to humour you."

"you don't know that." it can't be true.

"nobody sane would endorse people like you."

i have to go. i have to go. i have to go. ihavetogoihavetogo i have to go i have t o go i h av e to leaveleaveleaveleaveleave—

and then it cuts to ricky and gina, during one of those nights where ricky sneaks into gina's room, and they're cuddled up together in her bed. and she's saying something, giggling, but he's barely there. his binder feels too tight and he's probably had it on too long but he doesn't care. every time someone sees him, they'll assume he's cis, and he can use that against lily's words that still feel like poison, even months later.

"hey, ricky? ricky?" gina waves a hand in front of his face and he startles. she blinks in surprise. "oh. didn't mean to scare you."

"wasn't scared." he replies in a voice a few octaves high. (you didn't tell me you were a girl.) he makes his voice a little lower. "sorry, zoned out there for a second, gi. fire away." he tries for a smile.

gina sits up, frowning, concern over every inch of her features. "ricky? are you okay?"

what's even your real name?

"it's nothing." he says. his chest is too tight. how long has he had his binder? how long is he going to keep pretending? fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck—

"ricky, i can tell something's bothering you." she grabs one of his hands and rubs circles into the knuckle. "i want to help."

her clock ticks. ticks. ticks.

he sighs and gina, after a second, lays back down where she was.

"you know how i was... with lily? i wasn't dating her," he adds quickly, noticing the crease between her brows. "but like, at the beginning of camp, i was going to go skiing with her, remember?"

"yeah." gina says, visibly unsure of where this is going.

"yeah... well... i found my harness. my beast harness." gina's eyes go wide and he can see her basically plotting murder right here and there. "and when i confronted her about it, she—she started... saying some things?" his voice wobbles dangerously and gina turns more to look at him, eyes openly worried.

"what things?" she says, with a dangerous edge to her voice.

he tries to calm his breathing. it's not working. he's feeling that tight feeling again. usually it goes away when he's with gina, or just with the wildcats, but ever since lily said those things, they've been working less and less.

"she said you guys were just... were just...."

"just what? ricky?"

"just humouring... me." he tries to take in a breath but it comes out as a sob. gina straightens, alarmed. "humouring that i'm—i'm a boy."

"oh, ricky." gina sits up and he does too, and she wraps her arms around him and he cries and cries and cries. "i'm going to kill that bitch—"

"because i'm not, am i?!"

"no, ricky, you are. lily's a deceitful prick who manipulated you." gina lets go to look him in the eyes. "you are richard bowen. you're a boy and always will be—so long as you identify as one, of course." gina hurries to add (and he remembers glimpsing her on a trans-positive subreddit the other day under the question, how do i support my trans boyfriend????? she'd closed it when he came over, but he saw it, and his heart sang.) "and i promise none of us are 'humouring' you. okay?"

that's all i remember JASHJSHJHJSJHASHJSJ

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT WHY WERE YOU EVEN PANICKING ABOUT IT BEING A LONG ASK FUCK LILY BTW BUT OHHHHHHH RINA RINA RINA ILY RINA GINA IS THE ALLY OF ALL TIME I LOVE HER I LOVE TRANS!RICKY HE DESERVES THE WORLD OH MY GOD

[go-to-the-mirror]

Un-Follow Me Now, This Is Gonna Be The Only Thing I Talk About For The Next Day. I've Been Wanting This For Months Fuck. What The Fuck. /ref

@a-mag-a-day

So, uhm, MAG 136 everybody! As you can probably tell I've been looking forward to this episode, not as much as some others, (cough cough) cul-de-sac (cough cough), but a fair amount of excitement going into this. So, without further ado, let's get on with it! Mostly rambling, but I have great words a lot of the time.

For content warnings, mostly what's in the episode and some pretty frank discussions of suicide and depression. If I need to add or tag anything please let me know.

If I get another gambling ad, I'm going to break something :). Sorry, I keep getting this gambling advert and it's just. Nope, no, 0/10. I had hope it would only be on RQG.

ARCHIVIST (Compelling) If you don’t mind me asking, where are you off to? MELANIE Therapy. Wait … ARCHIVIST Oh, God, Melanie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to … MELANIE It’s fine. I would probably have told you eventually anyway. ARCHIVIST Even so, I shouldn’t— MELANIE Just forget it

I'm glad that although Melanie's obviously -- and to be honest, rightfully, yeah Jon didn't mean to make her tell him that she's going to therapy, he still did and that would make me pretty angry -- upset, she's handling it in a good way, they're not getting in a fight, they're being... amicable. Not friends -- a long way from friends.

DAISY You’re not babysitting me, alright? I know that’s what the others think sometimes, but that’s not it. I just don’t like being on my own if I can help it. You know, flashbacks, panic attacks, the usual. Just trying to avoid it if I can. ARCHIVIST I know, Daisy. I do. It’s hard. DAISY Yeah, well. Don’t let me get in your way. ARCHIVIST Of course.

jon's just grappling with the concept of friendship in the corner like, sure, he was a last resort, but he's spending time with another human and they're not obviously wishing he was dead! yay for that i guess!

also uhm i like how yk, maybe i was just watching bad shows before -- probably -- but it isn't... glossed over. they go through things and they deal with said things, mostly in bad and self destructive ways, like yes the characters suffering and then they have to deal with the suffering and it's all portrayed in a -- in my opinion -- pretty true to life way. People get angry when they're traumatized and under stress, people get suicidal, people do stupid things, people don't trust people -- trust the wrong people -- the works.

*holds gently* p o d c a s t

I loved Neil. I might even have been in love with him; it’s hard to say. When there are so many emotions caught up in a single person, when they’re such a significant force in your life, it gets difficult to say what’s really there at the heart of it.

I'm aro, I thought i was in love with people, I probably wasn't. Love is complicated, discerning what type it is.

Even pyrotechnics, while impressive and visually spectacular, just didn’t give me the same sharp joy as making something that could move, that came alive, directed and controlled by my hand.

Ah, right, so here's the sentence that's like "and this is what fear it is." There's a lot of those, scattered around. What comes to mind are the following lines.

Well, that’s what’s really terrifying, isn’t it? Your mind is all you are. There’s no back-up, no reset if it goes. I’m not just talking about madness as it appears, but what it is from inside. The way people talk about it, it’s like you have to think you’re sane, that our mind is everything we perceive, everything we are. Well, that means you can never know when your grasp might be slipping. I’m not convinced that’s it though. Or maybe deep down, somewhere inside, you understand what’s happening to you and I, um… I don’t know which scares me more.

(MAG 65 - Binary)

This shows that it's The Spiral.

One thing that… eats at me, as it were, and does give me that sick tightness of fear deep in my gut. It is rot. I don’t know why it gets to me so; perhaps it’s precisely because I don’t think there is anything beyond the body, and even dead and unaware, seeing a person’s form begin to putrefy and fester – becoming just a home for the crawling, feasting things – is too much for me. Perhaps it’s just an unaccountable phobia. Regardless of the reason, the fact is that to see the corpses decaying, to see their flesh corrupted, it is… the one part of this job that I find uncomfortable. So much so that I would describe reconstruction and preservation as my favourite part of the process. Making sure the cadaver looks as peaceful and lifelike as possible. Make them the person they were, or as close as they can be while cold and senseless. Fighting off the rot. The insects. The disease.

(MAG 36 - Taken Ill)

And this shows it's The Corruption.

I like it, a little introduction, so you know what you're getting into.

“Besides,” he always told me, “I’m a puppeteer at heart.”

✨ Spooky! ✨

A frugal life, lucrative career and prickly personality had left him with lots of money, but no real support; while my life had left me in a position where I cared deeply about his wellbeing and was in desperate need of money. Everything just lined up so neatly.

this was planned wasn't it, "everything just lined up so neatly," yeah no way it's a coincidence.

I must have asked him about it, but at the time it just seemed like such a natural progression.

This reminds me of some of the stuff in MAG 59 - Recluse.

I’m sure they’d have said the same things about me and at the time nothing seemed amiss. I did what I did because it was what I was supposed to do, and it never struck me to question it. I’m not sure I really recognise who I became while living at that house.

With The Web's control and things seeming fine but then you look back and it's like "yep, definitely not."

He was hanging there, wrapped in his strings like a cocoon, twisting gently around and around and around.

THAT'S AN IMAGE. oh!! OH!! oh boy!!!

She told me to take the films, his original cuts.

The way "original cuts" is said sounds a lot like some of the other tones a few statement givers take -- even Jon sometimes, immediately I can think of in the season 5 trailer. I recognise that tone.

She told me to come here. She told me to give them to you. I resisted for some time, but I’m done now. She’s won. And I would very much like to go home.

I love the way this statement ends, a lot of statements have very cool endings, this one's snazzy, the statement giver sounds so defeated.

ARCHIVIST They were … Well, let’s just say it’s not a complete shock there was something unnatural to them. Didn’t know we had copies in the Institute, though, let alone original cuts. Records indicate they ended up in Artefact Storage. DAISY Probably best they stay there. ARCHIVIST Yeah… Yes, of course.

No! Not best they stay there! Daisy and Jon movie night watching spooky films together! I think that would be fun.

DAISY She’s Web. Spider’s sneaky like that. Like that lighter you’re always using – where’d you get that? ARCHIVIST Hm, good point. We should keep our eyes open. Anyway, how’s Basira doing?

Spooky bloody lighter, god damnit, god damn that spooky lighter.

AAAA. No guys, the lighter isn't messing with his memory, he just has adhd.

DAISY Yeah, well, what do you think? You think I’m weak just cos I’m not already chasing the next kill? You think I’m less me? ARCHIVIST I … I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the intersection between free will and humanity. Still trying to figure that out myself.

✨ t h e m e s ✨ [themes]

I, unsurprisingly, like this. I think, that I like. The exploration of it. I think it's snazzy. It's hard to articulate my thoughts, but I am holding this gently, I am holding the many many themes of this very cool podcast gently. I am directing you to tumblr user annabelle--cane because it's got great brain thoughts.

DAISY Jon … When you went in the coffin, was it you choosing to do that? Did you actually think you could save me or was something telling you to do it? ARCHIVIST It was me. I was drawn to it, I’ll admit, but it was my decision. It wasn’t entirely about you, though. DAISY What was it? ARCHIVIST My— My memories of the coma are not clear, but I know I made a choice. I made a choice to become … something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I don’t know if I made the right decision. I’m stronger now, tougher, I can … If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever, I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else, so if I can maybe stop that happening and the only danger is to me … I’ll do it in a heartbeat. Worst case scenario, the universe loses another monster. DAISY That’s messed up. ARCHIVIST (Laughs) Yeah. I suppose it is.

I've also heard it described as "if there was a truck coming towards me, I wouldn't move out the way." Maybe not actively seeking it, but definitely not... not seeking it.

Yeah, thinking you're an inherently worse person than everyone around you, is a pretty good way to get you know, suicidal.

Almost everyone you care about thinking -- and saying -- that your very existence is a wrong, that they'd rather you have died, that's going to mess you up. And I'm... I mean like, poor Jon or whatever, I love him, he's my blorbo, but like him living his worst life is compelling and written well.

I should say more, but idk, I think I've summed up Some Thoughts.

ARCHIVIST I guess I thought imprisonment wouldn’t … wouldn’t be as bad as it was. And it’s a lot easier to make that choice than it is to actually endure the result. You might have noticed, when I was in there with you, I had regrets.

fuck dude it sure is, i mean at least he's pretty bad at self-sacrifice, like he lived, didn't get stuck in a coffin forever, no bad outcomes apart from... like... the trauma. he didn't even have to have one awkward conversation. until now, but i feel like him and daisy are more on the "joking about melodramatic notes app notes written while having a breakdown" than "one person who wants to get out of the situation and another who is Concerned."

DAISY You need to stop moping. ARCHIVIST I what?

THIS IS A MOMENT WHERE THE UNNOFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTS ABSOLUTELY WIN. "picture of Edwardian offence" ahsdfsewadfssewa

I mean like yeah it's a little insensitive or whatever, but to be fair, sometimes it's just better to get out of your head, distract yourself, don't listen to sad music while you're down because otherwise you're just going to get more sad. Shout out to crying over a TMA meta while listening to Mitski and reading all my saved TMA metas. Not the exact situation, but let it be known i don't cry over fiction that much. This podcast has made me cry like... how many times at this point?

I'd share other, more specific details, but I'm not sure how much is oversharing, especially with these topics.

DAISY “Boo hoo, I’m so alone and a monster!” ARCHIVIST I am alone. Martin is—

*points* GAY

well, bi. yk.

DAISY Get over yourself. You’re always talking about choices. We all made ours. Now I’m making a choice to get some drinks in. Coming? ARCHIVIST I don’t … Yeah, ok.

ANOTHER PART WHERE THE UNNOFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTS STAY WINNING! "pause while he grapples with the concept of friendship." Like I'm using official because i noticed an error in MAG 119, but the unofficials are funny.

DAISY Melanie’s out, but I’ll go get Basira. ARCHIVIST Is she … Would she want to join us? DAISY If she doesn’t, I’ll rip her throat out. ARCHIVIST Uhhh… DAISY It’s a joke, John. ARCHIVIST (Dubious) Oh, aha. Yes. I’ll get my coat.

HIS STUPID LITTLE LAUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

he's just like me fr oh my goddd he's a dumbass he's i want to squish him like one of those toys whose eyes pop out i want to shake him out like a cat aaaaaa

Anyway, Jon fan[redacted]ing over, uhhh more thoughts on the whole bloody... thing he's got going on.

First of all, I mean... passive suicidality sucks. And I think that's what's going on, like he jumped into that coffin, with the knowledge that he might not live, but maybe he will, and does it matter either way. He lives, gets Daisy out, he's useful, he's good. He dies or gets stuck there... well, it's just another monster gone. And of course that's not what he thinks when he's down there, but... I can't back this up with studies, but anecdotally... yeah uh, I mean, sometimes you go "oh shit, maybe doing this nonspecific thing was a bad idea, actually, and you don't want to die."

That... sudden realization of what he's done, what he's condemned himself to, the continuing... you know, he's not exactly okay in season 5, or even later on in season 4 -- what with the dark sun -- and that rings true with me. I can actually back this up with a study, according to this website, (it's reliable, it's Harvard, just search up "attempters' longterm survival" on google, it should be the first result.) 90% of people who attempt suicide don't go on to die by suicide, however 40% of those who have died from suicide (in the US) have previously attempted suicide, and 5 to 11 percent of people hospitalized for a suicide attempt go on to die via suicide, but those who haven't are only 1 in 10,000. Besides, not he's gotten help, he's just realized he made a mistake in one situation, he's talked about it to a friend, sure, but he's still mostly alone, he still mostly thinks he's a monster.

Like... that's not a great situation to be in. Someone give him some actual friends (or a boyfriend) and take all the Panado (acetaminophen) out of his reach.

[daisydood]

Ramblings about God of War: Heimdall Addition!

Note: Heimdall won on the poll if you couldn't tell💀 I thought I would get no one voting on it but DAYUM I got like 20 votes what. Yeah,,, I hate Heimdall so much. He sucks so much. He SUCKS. I HATE HIM

☆ Heimdall: The product of the All Father ☆

Heimdall was an absolute arrogant, short citied, incredibly perceptive, JERK. All of these traits cause the downfall of Asgard. The worst part is he's the most sane of Odins sons. Why is he like this?

Odin is why he's like that. I think when Heimdall was way younger, he was being a jerk to someone because yk, kids. Odin should've corrected him and told him why it was wrong and what to do instead, but no. Odin never corrected anything Heimdall did unless it effected him directly. Actually, he encouraged the behavior. He thought it would be useful to him, for some reason.

Heimdall had so many opportunities to save himself in his final battle. But, his divine dignity couldn't handle defeat.

Kratos tried his hardest not to kill another god. He has been trying to change for Atreus. But then here comes Heimdall, tempting him to kill him. Kratos has pitied him enough to let him go without dying (correct me if I'm wrong, I havent played this part in a while) twice, but Heimdalls stupid little ego couldn't take the fact that he got pitied by the god killer.

Heimdall just kept pushing him. If he shut up for two seconds he would probably be alive for the next game. When Heimdall fell to Kratos for the first time, he was about to let him go. Heimdall said something that set him off, and he lost his arm for it. Kratos pitied, he went like oooooh no I'm attacking you again rinse and repeat two times until he dies.

Just an fyi: if he shut up he would be alive; if he was alive he could protect Asgard; if he could protect Asgard he would be able to protect his home, his pride and joy.

AND once he dies, he doesn't even get recognized for his long lasting loyalty to Asgard and Odin. ODIN DID NOT CARE AT ALL.

I mean, we all know he uses the poor guy like a lapdog. But AT LEAST some slight sadness or mourning for your dead son that just got his face bashed in to an unrecognizable bloody mess fighting for you.

But alas, all we got from him was "Heimdall is dead. Do you know anything about that?"

Not a slight bit of emotion. Factual. Interrogative. Quite literally a pawn in his little game. Not sad in the slightest.

No funeral, no condolences, no nothing. Atreus even said everyone hated him. Well, yeah. But even the most annoying jerks don't deserve this. Soooooooooooo yeah idk what else to say. In conclusion Heimdall sucks but he doesn't deserve what happened to him.

Note 2: AHHH I FINISHED IT. omg I'm so sorry this took so long. Ive been so busy and honestly I kinda got writers block for a little. I'm thinking about making a Pokémon "leaks" type of thing so if you're interested in that let me know🐡

[rrxnjun]

okay (cracks knuckles) ik whipping out the laptop means serious business for people our age, so thank you bar🥺 and you answering everything made me emotional so lemme reciprocate......yes I like u, more now

Yes they both are your only smuts and not so explict at that and being non explicit is again wholesome for me and hence more delusion inducing. I love both the type of smuts though, explict because oof it's hot and detailed and it makes me distant enough to not get too attached but if it is emo or angsty then I am doomed. Smut makes me go like ew the characters did the bad and dirty stuff and are not so pure and angelic ewww (for me to not live under their skin XD and be sane). I like smut without plot for sure but verrrry short in length, just for giggles yk, and not like 10 chapters of pure fucking (idk how ppl do that😭), then I need plot because where is the buildup and story and feelings. Implicit because it makes me yearn when I am in the mood to not be sane and detach from reality. But I get your point, usually people feel that way i guess, i m weird and horny bxdjnf.

And oh you did NOT like Liebestraum, whyyyy >:( if i may ask (omg sweet(est) anon let me kiss your feet snjhdd) but thanks so much for actually putting it up here (online friends and meeting ur tumblr anon 3 times irl?????? U live in a movie??? R u not real??? I feel it's possible). And oh OH OH, this is why OMG i get it now!!! because ur own feelings are resembled in Jisung's monologue and summer feels like THAT for you, it felt more real to me. As I said I was born in summer and rain, so it's like a part of me, an essence of mine, to feel and connect so much with the summery blues, so that and ur own resemblance made it suureal and easy for me to connect so deeply (i am SLIGHTLY dramatic) Because yk how usually with y/n fics, I resonate or try to at least with the y/n's feelings or imagine from a 3rd pov but this made me feel what Jisung was feeling throughout as my own feelings 😭🥹🥹, I felt like I was left behind without that last meeting instead of Jisung GODJDJSJSJSJSJ, please I will cry, I even told my roommate about this fic and Liebestraum and everything so randomly (she doesn't even follow kpop now and has only read bts fanfics in the past ), please let me kiss u :3 (My fav season is actually the transition from winters ending to spring to summers (spring is kinda short where I live and fall is even shorter otherwise it would have been my favorite too) so yes basically summers approaching because they are not as hot and I don't have to shiver all the time and I see the sun but to an extent that is pleasant) I feel like where I live it gets super duper hot in summers so ppl lean towards winters more.

And no by ur carrd being cute I didn't mean JUST the template but what you wrote, that was cute, u r cute. And IKR, ik so many 03 liners irl because of class but online? They do not exist. One year older? Yess, one year younger? Tons but same age? NAH . And oohh cool, I just completed my bachelors and now I feel lost, gonna go for Masters Clinical prolly but yes idk what I will do after that either and I dread research and therapy even so yeah maybe diagnostics lol. (I am ahead of u, but probably gonna take a break this year, let's get at the same level then :D). You make me wanna re-test my mbti it's been a while ;)

And I am probably gonna read Potential or the self sabotage one, Chenle yes, I rarely find good stuff about him. Wish me luck, I saw people sobbing in your asks regarding Potential 😭. (Thanks for not getting mad but it's understandable even if u do)

I do not listen to Dominic but I will check that song out, for you, to try n feel what you said <3

Let's be friends, can i try sliding into your dms time to time🤸🏻‍♀️

hihihi happy to hear u like me more now 🫶🏻 i like you too 🤭🤭

AHAHA okay i get you but also i definitely read smuts that made me delusional before... this one smut i read i cannot stop thinking about it IT WAS PWP TOO 😭😭😭 sigh. Yeah 10 chapters of pure fucking is not really my cup of tea either. Its like when the smut count in a fic goes past 2 im like well this is too much isnt it🤨 (and then i realize real ppl fuck and im just being a virgin.)

I will tell my friend u wanna kiss her feet /j HAHAHA yeah we met last october for the first time!! She lives in a country next to mine so periodically we take turns and take a train to each others capital 🥰 it definitely feels like a dream like wow life didnt end at 17 i am 21 now and meeting online friends and travelling and wow. And yeah kinda!! Also i feel that i dislike most of my angst for some reason ??? And i dont really know why if im being honest TT its like maybe i feel a bit pretentious ?? I have no idea its a whole thing 😭😭 but once again i feel very honored that you connected so deeply with a work of mine 🫶🏻 its still baffling to me haha. TELLING UR ROOMMATE IS ALSO ANOTHER LEVEL WHAT

omg i actually dislike spring but also like it at the same time ?? I was born in spring! but i dislike the unreliable weather but also theres something abt seeing the sun after months of winter that cures ur depression a little doesnt it😭😭 it gets crazy hot in summers here too!! Like next wednesday its supposed to be 36°C 😀😀😀😀 im gonna d*e. I would say i prefer winter to summer but i think u couldve guessed that from my previous reply HAHA

DJDJS me? Cute? 🤭🤭 no, YOU are. but you are SOOO right i see so many 04 liners online its crazy. Most of my mutuals on here are 04-05 liners it makes me feel OLDDD. Omg thats so cool 😯😯 i think clinical is too far from my abilities LMAOO but then again idk idk. When i was little i wanted to do psych because of clinical but then i got into uni and realized how difficult it is and how i am a gifted child burnout so :// and i feel like therapy isnt for me it would burn me out too much. I was thinking of art therapy perhaps ?? but the easiest way to get emploeyed would be school or educational psych here so we'll see maybe ill go for that ?? tell me what ur mbti is after!!

AAAA self sabotage i dont really like either (i seem to dislike a lot of my work LMAO) but potential is one of my most fav fics ive ever written 🤍 i didnt really think it was THAT angsty but i kind of treated it as my therapy session lmao so...,.,,. Yeah maybe thats why. hope u like it! I am very proud of it,, it was a spontaneous work of mine but im happy with how it turned out :,)

what kind of music do u listen to?? :oo i am a HUGE dominic fan no one underastands the sunburn album the way i do </33 hope u like it if u listen to it:)

LETS BE FRIENDS !! u can slide into my dms any time altho i am uhh not really as active on this blog lately ((since i made my other one this has been collecting dust. Shame on me 😭😭😭😭) but i will try to get back to u asap !! (Or we can talk on discord?)