#prox.txt

[ghibli]

hey I made a list of 100 pieces of media i feel have been Influential on me, starting with Sesame Street as a toddler all the way through to the Newsreader fucking me up this year.

- bit limited by not wanting to add too many custom entries, so some options are imperfect (eg one book or the author name instead of the whole series) and i feel like i am missing some indie Australian stuff.

- a lot of these have disappointed me (long running shows or podcasts I dropped in the final season, sure, but also stuff like hp or potc or buffy where I'm icked by the creators involved). but if it moved, changed, or influenced me at the time I included it.

- this is chronological to the best of my ability, boy was I allowed to read and watch some pretty adult stuff when I was 10-13.

- follow your heart on what counts for checking something off. only playing half a 60 hour video game is different to only watching half of a two hour film.

[intrinsically-disordered-proxein]

sorry for everyone who followed me expecting normal biology content. yeah sometimes there will be funny plant meme. sometimes there may also be posts about how gender can be modelled as a quantum state on the bloch sphere. sometimes there may even be photoshops of the pride and prejudice characters on the 2fast2furious bluray box art. this blog is a lawless land no niche nerdpost is safe from my funny digital artist photoshop skills and my dual wielded science degrees i should not have been trusted with

[concaveconcrete]

[77of76-moved]

Hi prox

GAY dog

[eyestrainz-remade]

gay person with mental illness call that a fruit bat

[ghibli]

playing blue prince in a void has lead to a kind of funny experience. I came online excited to find people who are enjoying the duality of the punishing roguelike with the fact that there never seems to stop being epic puzzles to solve while you play the fun drafting game. like wow guys isn't it cool that this fun game ALSO keeps giving me secrets? only to discover most people are hate the rng of the actual game and are just trying to progress the puzzle like read the room prox.

[ghibli]

remembered the existence of the massive fic that is just me formatting and lightly proofing hal and i's tma rp (on ao3 because i wanted to be able to save it as an ebook and it's too big for gdocs). reread and realized there was still a lot i hadn't moved to ao3.

am now jumpscaring the forty people who are subscribed to a seven year old dead wip. wordcount was 200k and i think it's gonna be over 400k when i'm done adding the new stuff.

[ghibli]

maybe it's just my dash but the resurgence of House and Buffy (disclaimer, two shows that I love) interests me.

do you think we miss shows that had multiple seasons with 20+ episodes each? much easier to fall in love with buffy and her world knowing you get a hundred episodes there.

perhaps more controversially, do you think there is a comfort in being able to say "well, that's how things were back then, we know better now" when something blatantly racist/sexist/ablest happens in the show? like you don't have to hold yourself to vigorous moral standards, you can relax and watch some tv. quiet, bartholemew, you know better.

or maybe it's just the lack of corporate sanitisation in particular. where these very real and worthy ideals just become a checklist, lip service to avoid offending people, that does not serve the creative work. so finding older shows that are earnest but maybe not totally politically correct feels refreshing. (alleged abuser whedon especially fought the networks every step of the way - as have many television auteurs like bryan fuller, dan harmon, alex hirsch, these aren't solely his flowers - but it makes buffy feel transgressive especially when it manages to break ground that wouldn't be nearly as radical today.)

idk maybe it's just that they're timelessly good and have huge existing slash fandoms, it's probably not that deep. interested to hear other people's thoughts. in general I love thinking about buffy's place in the zeitgeist.

[ghibli]

guess it's official: anybody who has paid for a Harry Potter book, film, game, or official merch, in the past five years has a little blood on their hands today.

also disgusted by every person who still writes fic or makes fanart or posts meta about this property no matter how self effacing or death of the author they may be. because even if you don't give her money you're building her ambient power, you're normalising interest and discussion, you're letting terfs think you secretly agree with them, you're keeping this shit alive so that businesses think they can still make money off it.

money that goes to JKR, and then into For Women Scotland, and then into campaigning and badgering and bribing the UK legal system into depersoning trans women.

anti-trans rhetoric is a wedge issue for fascism. anti-trans policy lets violent transphobes feel comfortable spreading hate and killing women. anti-trans feminism distracts from the very real regression of women's rights worldwide. we can't stop usamerican christofash from funnelling money into the anti-trans lobby but maybe we can at least try a little harder to cut off the wizard book billionaire? jesus fuck.

[ghibli]

just got an ao3 comment that lifted me up out of a lonely and desolate panic over things I cannot control and briefly into the sunshine

[ghibli]

did some arcane wizardry to install the game fuser on my mac after watching griffin mcelroy's set, and quite frankly I think it's the best software ever invented, I am having such a blast pretending to be a dj. latest discovery is that megalovania goes with basically everything.

[ghibli]

[1am before a hefty work day voice] i wanna write fic

[ghibli]

I'm "ulyssean" on bsky if you would like to have a back up way to keep in touch in case tumblr abruptly disappears. I also have discord, a very inactive dreamwidth, various other sites on request, etc.

[ghibli]

I'll tell you what's a real deal breaker for me and it's when people talk shit about some trait in themselves without realizing they're also talking shit about everyone else with that trait.

I think the two most common examples of this I've experienced is 1. being fat and having relatively "straight sized" friends talk shit about their body when they gain a little weight, and 2. being neurodivergent and watching people call themselves cringe/freaks/sick for traits that are just an ordinary part of life for you.

idk like i spend a lot of time hating myself too, feeling frustrated and wrong, policing myself in ways I would never do to others, but I at least know better than to let that irrational shrapnel hit those around me who are or have been struggling. in fact sometimes having empathy for my friends helps me to also have empathy for myself.

[ghibli]

watching everyone arguing with americans about whether something is a burger or a sandwich with various levels of gotcha and japan is over here with ハンバーグ (hambagu) like 😬

hamburger.

[ghibli]

I don't get why people are weird about giving sites money. like 1. it gives me a stake in the company's actions so I have leverage when they do stupid bullshit and 2. it allows the site to stay up and functioning so I can keep using it. I include "pay for or donate to the web services i use because i don't want them to go away" in my budget, because, get this, I don't want the sites I use to go away.

"I would never pay for tumblr even if I was a millionaire" why are you telling me that on tumblr. using your tumblr. this isn't a matt bors comic about society, you can literally leave. you wouldn't believe the amount of websites I don't use.