#pullstring spongebob

[lvexpart]

there's no explaining what happened in the group vc tonight

Odysseus: Oh, pullstring spongebob, what should I do? Pullstring Spongebob: [distorted] IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER Odysseus: You're right... I shouldn't cheat on my wife...

[jaxxolotl]

I WAS WATCHING SPONGEBOB RERUNS AND THIS HAPPENED

“Whoa, Mabel, come look at this!” Dipper waded back to the edge of the water, pushing his wet bangs out of his eyes as he approached his sister tanning on the beach. He padded over the hot sand, carefully inspecting the strange shell. It was a conch shell, smooth and glossy from being beneath the water, but what struck Dipper as odd was the pullstring attached to one side, and an eye painted on one side. His brows furrowed as he scrutinized it, sitting on the towel next to his twin. “It looks like some kinda toy,” He added. Mabel lowered her sunglasses off her face, leaning over to inspect it as well. “You found that in the water? What was it doing in there?” She questioned, and Dipper nodded. “Yeah, It was the weirdest thing, I accidentally stepped on it. I wonder what it does?” He paused a moment, turning it over in his hands, before carefully pulling the string. He waited a full five seconds before frowning at it. “Huh. I guess it’s broken. Must be a piece of junk, huh?” He pulled the string again, and let out a loud yelp when a shrill voice yelled out from it. “A PIECE OF JUNK? KID, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A MAGIC CONCH, AND I HOLD THE SECRETS TO THE UNIVERSE. AND LEMME TELL YA, YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO RUB SOMEONE THE WRONG WAY.” Mabel and Dipper stared at each other long and hard, before staring at the now silent conch. “....What,” Dipper started. “...The fuck,” Mabel finished for him. Dipper pulled the string for it again, but nothing happened. “...Why is this thing so finicky?” Dipper grunted irritatedly, tugging the string once more. “HOW’S ABOUT INSTEAD OF THINKING SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH ME, THINK ABOUT HOW YOU’RE CLEARLY FAILING TO UNDERSTAND MY CONCEPT. HIT ME UP WHEN YOU FINALLY FIGURE IT OUT, BRAINIAC.” “....Wow, even an inanimate object is roasting you, Dip,” Mabel teased. “Shut up,” He snapped, before addressing the shell once more. “...Let’s see…...Okay, How do I become more popular with people?” He pulled on the string once more. There was a long pause before it began speaking once more. “LET’S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES HERE. REALLY KID? YOU PLAY TUBA IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST, WHICH IN AND OF ITSELF IS WEIRD ENOUGH TO SCARE A BEETLE AWAY FROM YOU. YOU SPEND HOURS ON NETFLIX AND YOU SING ALONG TO CRAPPY POP MUSIC. DITCH THE DORKY HAT AND THE SICKLY I-STAY-INDOORS-ALL-DAY-EVERY-DAY LOOK AND MAAAAAAAYBE YOU MIGHT GET SOME SEMBLANCE OF A LIFE-” Dipper hurtled the conch into the water, watching it sink beneath the waves with great satisfaction.