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forabeatofadrum · 3 years

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I’d cry a river just for you (6/24)

Notes: I take back what I said about ancestor. This prompt is the truly evil one!

AO3

DAIRY - The 25th Annual Puntam County Spelling Bee

2007

Kurt and Blaine are standing in Time’s Square and they’re posing for photos. Blaine’s mom can’t stop making them, but it’s understandable. Blaine’s parents gifted Blaine a trip to New York for his fourteenth birthday. Granted, it coincided with a business trip, which is why Blaine’s dad is not here right now, but Blaine takes the opportunity.

When Blaine showed up on Kurt’s doorstep with the big news, Kurt was understandably jealous, but that jealousy didn’t have to last long.

“I asked if I could take you with us. Mom said yes!”

After planning and a lot of talks between Blaine’s parents and Kurt’s dad, it’s finally happening. Of course they’re seeing RENT, but they’re also going to Wicked and to a show called the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, since Blaine’s mom thinks that educational shows are important too.

Blaine’s mom is visibly regretting every step she’s taken to get here, since the Spelling Bee is not an educational show. Kurt and Blaine’s mom are sitting next to each other and Kurt tries not to laugh when he sees Blaine’s mom’s reactions. Blaine’s on stage, since he got picked to be a speller from the audience. The audience loudly cooed and awww’ed when Blaine first appeared, since he stands out between the adult cast members and guest spellers, but he’s survived his first spelling round.

He laughs when he goes back to the audience after his elimination.

“You made your Broadway debut,” Kurt whispers when Blaine’s in earshot.

“Are you proud of me, mom?” Blaine asks his mother, who groans. When one of the characters starts singing about having an erection and selling dairy-free stuff, she gets up and leaves. Kurt and Blaine burst into laughter, which pisses off some other audience members, but that only makes things even funnier.

“Good thing we have Wicked as a buffer for RENT,” Blaine says when they’ve calmed down. It’s kind of a shame that Blaine’s mom has left, because the second part of the show is unexpectedly emotional, because it delves into the insecurities of the characters.

When Olive sings her big The I Love You Song, Blaine grips Kurt’s hand.

Tell me what you’re learning Ma, I have, Oh God, this need I think Dad is angry, Ma And I do not know what to do Mama, Mama, Mama

Kurt looks at Blaine, completely ignoring the actors on stage. Blaine’s as tearful as Olive. Then he turns to the empty seat where Blaine’s mom used to sit.

Kurt files this away for later.

Blaine’s dad doesn’t join them for Wicked. Blaine’s dad doesn’t join them for RENT.

Maybe the latter is a good thing, since RENT was as amazing as Kurt and Blaine had hoped, but Kurt’s not sure if Blaine’s dad would appreciate it. Blaine’s mom was once again horrified, and she probably wouldn’t have taken two fourteen year olds to a show like that if she’d known, but she didn’t walk out this time and by the end of the show she was crying as hard as Kurt and Blaine.

Kurt and Blaine have their separate room, so he doesn’t have to worry about the Andersons overhearing. They can’t tell them to go to sleep, even though it’s late. Kurt and Blaine want to stay awake as long as possible, since they want to be able to make the most of the time they have.

During their last night in the city, Kurt decides to ask what’s been on his mind.

“Blaine, why is your dad never here?”

“Hm?” Blaine absently says. He’s reading the RENT Playbill again.

“Your dad. He didn’t even show up for dinner in these past three days.”

“Oh,” Blaine lowers the Playbill, “He’s busy. Always busy. But I don’t mind. If he didn’t have business here, then we wouldn’t be here.”

“And… doesn’t that bother you?” Kurt asks carefully. He thinks back at the Spelling Bee show. Blaine was gripping Kurt’s hand so tightly that it almost hurt.

“It’s what it’s always been like,” Blaine shrugs nonchalantly.

Kurt lets out a frustrated sigh. Blaine can tell him everything. Kurt has no problems telling Blaine his secrets, so the thought that it’s not a mutual feeling stings a bit.

So Kurt drops the carefulness and he tells Blaine that he’s noticed Blaine’s reaction in the theatre. Blaine’s face falls. Kurt gets out of his bed and he climbs into Blaine’s. He always gives Blaine a few seconds to push him away, but he never does.

“I am not like Olive, Kurt, no worries,” Blaine says, but there’s still some sadness, “Unlike Olive, I have parents who love me. But like Olive, they’re not always there and it- I guess the song just hit me hard. That, and the fact that my mom walked out of the show…”

“But that’s not your fault, right?”

Blaine nods. “I know that, but it still sucks, because… because…”

Kurt waits for Blaine to find the words.

“You know, I am jealous of you.”

“Me?”

“You and your dad are so completely different from each other, but he still takes time and effort to understand you. I’ve seen the photos of your childhood tea parties with your dad. Mine would never even consider.”

Meanwhile, Kurt feels like he and his dad have slightly grown apart since Kurt’s mom’s death. That, and Kurt knows that his secret is hanging over them and he just doesn’t want to ruin things. But Blaine’s right. Even then, Kurt and his dad are everything to each other.

Kurt realises that it’s probably why Blaine loves spending time in their home.

“I’m so happy you’re here with me,” Blaine says softly, “Otherwise I’d be totally alone during the musicals.”

“I’m happy you asked me to come along.”

Blaine smiles and it’s not sad. In fact, it’s joyous and Kurt very much prefers this over Blaine being sad.

“I always want you to come along, Kurt. You’re my best friend!”

“And you’re mine.”

Notes: Chip does not sell dairy-free snacks at the show, but I honestly had no idea what else to do with dairy, so in this universe, the lyrics of My Unfortunate Erection (Chip’s Lament) have been changed!

#klaine advent: dairy #klaine advent 2021 #klaineadvent #klaine advent #klaine #glee #holy fuck I wrote #2021 #multichaptered

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forabeatofadrum · 3 years

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I’d cry a river just for you - a playlist

For the Klaine Advent 2021, I wrote I’d cry a river just for you and since I love to complicate things for myself, I decided that I needed a ‘soundtrack’ with showtunes. This is a sort of homage to my first two Advents (2015, 2016). Those consisted of 24 separate stories and I picked a musical number for every prompt.

I started with writing down 24 possible musicals, all musicals that I love. This immediately led to the first complication: I prefer recent contemporary musicals over quote-on-quote classic musicals. This meant that a lot of musicals that I listen came out in the past couple of years, and I knew that the ‘past’ timeline would run from 2003 to 2013.

After some shuffling, I ended up assigning a musical and a number to every chapter. Here’s why I chose them (beware for possible spoilers for some musicals!):

Silence - Falsettos

What Would I Do?

I'd do it again I'd like to believe that I'd do it again And again, and again

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Whizzer and Marvin’s story ends with no way to change it. It’s about losing someone, but still holding on. Blaine is listening to the song when he sees Kurt and it hits him like a ton of bricks. He lost Kurt. Kurt caused him pain. But a part of him would endure it all over again, just to have more time with him.

Ceiling - Wicked

For Good

And now whatever way our stories end I know you have rewritten mine By being my friend

Ah yes, the ultimate friendship song! Of course, in the context of the fic, Kurt and Blaine are at the very beginning of an intense friendship, but you can say it’s foreshadowing. Their future friendship will change their lives, it will consume them, it will overtake them, and even though it ends in a big fight (whatever way our stories end), it will forever have an impact.

Obligation - Legally Blonde

Legally Blonde (Remix)

Back in the game (Yes!) Back to the trial (Yes!) But I'm going back in my style (Back in her style!)

'Cause it's a fact (Yes!) When you're attacked (Yes!) You've got to respond (Got to got to got to got to respond!)

This is a long one, and I was in doubt. Back when I was writing this, I still had a 1K word count in my head. In the end, I put the full thing in it, because this song slaps. For a long time, you, the reader, don’t get to know why Blaine ended up studying a (non-existing) law degree at EUR, but with this song I did want to sort of hint that it’s his own choice and that he likes it. Law is great, according to Blaine Anderson and Elle Woods.

Ancestor - RENT

Rent

How can you connect in an age Where strangers, landlords, lovers Your own blood cells betray

What binds the fabric together When the raging, shifting winds of change Keep ripping away

Honestly, this has no big underlying meaning. I love this song. I think it’s one of the best Act 1 openers in theatre and I just wanted to add this song, and I picked the lyrics because I like it. I could claim that it’s foreshadowing, but no, not this time.

Orientation - Bandstand

Who I Was

Well, it feels like it does I feel guilty because There are days when I just want to be who I was

I'm not saying I'd trade the life that I had with him for a minute That was once in a lifetime love and I know I was lucky to win it

I don’t think the song is necessarily about regret, because in the context of the musical, Julia can’t help that her life has turned out the way it has. But to Blaine in this fic, it’s about regret. The song is about longing for an easier time, and Blaine is definitely doing that. He’s about to talk to Kurt for the first time in seven years and he thinks back on how easy they used to talk to each other.

And then there’s the last two lines about love. It’s the first hint to Blaine pining for Kurt. I tried to go for an “oh, wait!” moment with Blaine coming out to Kurt. It’s weird to think that Blaine never knew about his sexuality until it was too late.

Dairy - The 25th Annual Puntam County Spelling Bee

The I Love You Song

Tell me what you’re learning Ma, I have, Oh God, this need I think Dad is angry, Ma And I do not know what to do Mama, Mama, Mama

Ah yes, Blaine family angst has been my forte since Papa Anderson in het meertje anno 2011 (wow a decade ago!). As Blaine pointed out in the story, his situation isn’t as dire and neglectful as Olive’s, but I wanted to show a contrast between Kurt’s family and Blaine’s family. This would explain why, in later chapters, they’re constantly at Kurt’s house and why Blaine is also hit by the loss of Burt, Carole and Finn when the friendship ended.

Rhythm - Heathers

Seventeen

People hurt us Or they vanish And you’re right that really blows But we let go, take a deep breath Then go buy some summer clothes

Shout-out to, uhm, me for letting Blaine call this an ‘admittedly mediocre song’, because it is. I wanted to fill this playlist with songs that I actually like, so I doubted whether or not I should put Seventeen on the list, but it fit so perfectly! This one got explained in the story: the song about innocent love at the age of seventeen fills Blaine with regret, because if only he’d understood his feelings earlier, then everything could’ve been so different. I chose this particular set of lyrics for the whole People hurt us/or they vanish part, because Blaine hurt Kurt and then Blaine vanished.

Cup - Spring Awakening

Whispering

See the father bent in grief The mother dressed in mourning Sister crumbles, and the neighbors grumble The preacher issues warnings

I knew I needed a Spring Awakening song in this story, since Spring Awakening is about teelings (teen feelings). I’ve considered several songs for several scenario’s and chapters, but this particular moment in Whispering always gets me. Of course, in the show the sin that everyone reacts to is Wendla’s pregnancy as an unmarried girl, but like Kurt, I decided to link it to homophobia.

Also, I get such a weird kick out of the idea that Kurt and Blaine listen to Lea Michele’s voice without connecting it to Rachel. Do these kids ever wonder why Wendla and Melchior are the spitting image of Rachel and Jesse?

Fan - In the Heights

The Club

A toast to the end of all I know!

You've had enough!

Says the girl who has it all

That's not fair

Well why don't you run home to daddy? He loves to remind me that I'll never be good enough for your family, for you

You don't know me

Poor you

I thought you were different

God, okay, I hated that this song fit so perfectly. I mean, Kurt and Blaine are fighting at a club! Ideal! Why did I hate it, then? Well, as I mentioned, I was running out of possible musicals for my ‘past’ timeline and I reserved In the Heights for that timeline, since the musical arrived on Broadway in 2008. I had already relucantly moved tick, tick... BOOM! to the past timeline (we’ll get to that one), but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity, so I scrapped Come From Away from the ‘present’ timeline and I frantically started looking for a ‘past’ replacement. But hey, The Club now fits perfectly and it was worth it!

Transparent - Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Origin of Love

It's the story of the origin of love That's the origin of love, oh yeah

This one is one of the ultimate love songs. (Fun fact, another ultimate love song is a song by MIKA called... Origin of Love!). I am still such a big sucker for Hedwig, so I also knew I needed that musical in the story and I realised that a song about the origin of love would fit in a chapter where Kurt realises he has feelings for his friend. I did, for a split second, consider moving it to the ‘present’ timeline due to the verse that starts with the lyrics The last time I saw you/We had just split in two, because that’d be a banging reunion song, but as mentioned above, I couldn’t afford to move another possible ‘past’ song to the ‘present’ timeline.

Demonstrate - Everybody's Talking About Jamie

The Wall In My Head

And don't fall, I'm finding my feet There's shoes to be filled But this wall, is harder to beat When it's one you helped build

I tried to make clear that the friendship ended because both sides just... couldn’t do it anymore, but I am also biased and Blaine is painted as the worst offender out of the two of them (there’s another story behind that decision). This was me trying to add somewhat of nuance to this dynamic. Do I, the biased writer, still think that Blaine’s actions were worse? Yes. But that doesn’t take away that I, the biased writer, also wanted to point out that Blaine had reasons of his own to do what he did. Kurt made him feel like shit. It wasn’t intentional, but it happened, and this part of the lyrics illustrates that.

Invisible - Hairspray

I Can Hear The Bells

Yes, it hit me just like a ton of bricks Yes, my heart burst, now I know what life's about One little touch and love's knocked me out

And I can hear the bells, my head is spinning I can hear the bells, something's beginning

You see what I did there? The previous ‘past’ chapter ended with lyrics, and this one starts with it. I Can Hear The Bells is, as Blaine said, such a sweet song about being in love. I chose this particular set of lyrics because it also emphasises that these feelings can overwhelm you when they’re seemingly out of nowhere. Although unlike Tracy, Kurt’s not very fond of this relevation.

Arrow - 35MM: A Musical Exhibition

Cut You A Piece

His life was scattered, and soon was her ash I cut you a piece of me, I cut you a piece of me. And where you go I will go too. I lost my life when I lost you.

35MM is such an underrated gem, so I also knew that I wanted to include this ‘musical’ (it isn’t really a musical with a plot, it’s a photo exhibition with songs accompany certain photos). I had a hard time picking one of the amazing songs for my story, but Cut You A Piece is so emotional since it’s about grief. Now, the singer describes a story of a man who lost his wife. The singer himself isn’t part of the story. That doesn’t work for Kurt and Blaine. They both are the story. Another thing is that Jessie is Jules’s romantic partner who dies, whereas Finn was the stepbrother of Blaine’s best friend. But in the end the song is about loss, and Blaine lost Kurt and Finn’s death worsened that, which led to Blaine being stuck in a deep rut (I lost my life when I lost you).

I considered another lyrics (But warming your hands in mine fills me with terror/That I will lose you, today, or tomorrow, in two years, or seventy), but at this point in the story, Kurt and Blaine have already lost each other, so it wouldn’t make sense for Blaine to fear that.

Offend - Company

What Would We Do Without You

What would we do without you? How would we ever get-- How would we ever get-- How would we ever get-- How would we ever get--through? What would we do without you?

Hey, so remember how I was looking for a musical to fill the In the Heights related gap? Company, baby! I watched the 2011 proshot two days ago (I’m writing this on December 10th) in the hopes of finding a song. I guess I did. I was going back and forth between this song and Company, since Company is about Bobby loving his erratic friends (and I also think that’s my favourite song of the show), but What Would We Do Without You ended up fitting the story. Yes, it’s kind of a comedic song and the moment where Kurt realises he doesn’t know who he is without Blaine isn’t comedic, but the lyrics fit!

Appendix - Fun Home

Telephone Wire

Say something! Talk to me! Say something! Anything! At the light At the light

This can't be our last—

I originally chose the song Maps, and that song was going to be featured in a later chapter. Originally, this chapter was going to be Six’s I Don’t Need Your Love, since the confrontation would give Blaine that (false lmao) sentiment, but I was listening to one of my musical playlists and Telephone Wire came on and this is the song about not talking things out and how it leads to sadness, pain and regret. Blaine mentions it himself: the abrupt end of Big Alison’s line shows how Alison and her dad never resolved their issues and that is a tragedy.

Chance - Once On This Island

Forever Yours (reprise)

You gave him love Love he would soon betray! You gave him life I am the price you’ll pay!

Sure as the grave You must accept what is... Now your life is Forever mine...

This song is one of the few songs that I decided on before I even started writing the fic. Once On This Island is filled with sweet love songs, and Forever Yours (reprise) is such a contrast. Ti Moune believed in love and it heavily, heavily backfired. Sure, Blaine didn’t know about Kurt’s feelings for him, but even without the romance, love that stems from friendship can be so deep. So yes, the love that Kurt trusted in refers to both romantic and platonic love. And Blaine turned his back on it. It was unexpected, which makes it feel like betrayal (Love he would soon betray!).

A small note on the Spotify playlist: in the context of the fic, Kurt would probably be listening to the OBC, not the NBC, but I put the NBC on it purely for selfish reasons. I want to be able to listen to the playlist whilst enjoying it (rip to Seventeen). Like, for Hairspray, I actually prefer the 2016 Live version and the movie version, but I still put the OBC on the list since I don’t mind it (and once again, I get a kick out of the idea of Kurt and Blaine listening to the OBC with Matthew Morrison). And I like all three Hedwig and the Angry Inch albums equally, so there I also didn’t mind putting the movie version on it, but I never listened to Once On This Island’s OBC! So yeah, apart from Forever Yours (reprise) and Come To Your Senses, all the versions on the playlist are the ones Kurt and Blaine listen to.

Global - Six

I Don’t Need Your Love

I don't need your love, no, no No, I don't need your love, no, no There's nothing left to discuss, no, no But I don't need your love, no, no

Another song I decided on from the get-go. Yeah, I partially explained this one in Fun Home’s section, but it’s also self-explanatory. Blaine tries to believe that he doesn’t need Kurt’s love, or maybe love in general! This is, of course, utter bullshit and a lie that he tells himself. This is why he’s kind of envious of Bella and Adeola in this chapter, although he doesn’t admit that to himself either.

Mine - Next to Normal

Aftershocks

They've managed to get rid of me I'm gone without a trace But sear the soul and leave a scar No treatment can erase

Yes, this one also explains itself. Yay, Kurt and Blaine are talking again! All is well! Is it really? Of course it isn’t! The issue might’ve been resolved for now, but it will never fully leave their heads and that’s why Kurt decides to fully end it after the second block. The aftershocks indeed remain. This is the third and last song that I decided on beforehand.

Core - Hamilton

It’s Quiet Uptown

Forgiveness, can you imagine? Forgiveness, can you imagine?

I know, I know, that apart from these two lines the entire song doesn’t make any fucking sense, but I hope that by now it’s clear that the little snippets of lyrics were leading in the choices for the songs and every time I hear these two lines, it still makes me feel something. Forgiveness felt impossible. Eliza was never, ever going to forgive Alexander, but she did. Kurt vowed to never, ever be friends with Blaine again, but he did.

Qualification - tick, tick... BOOM!

Come To Your Senses

Come to your senses Defenses are not the way to go And you know, or at least you knew Everything's strange, you've changed And I don't know what to do to get through I don't know what to do

Oh buckle up, because I have a lot to say!

I watched the movie version when it got released on Netflix and I loved it, so I decided to add this show to the fic. But here’s the thing, and I’m sorry to say this, but when I first watched the movie, Come To Your Senses didn’t do it for me at all. If it hadn’t been for Andrew Garfield’s stellar facial expressions, it would’ve left me cold and disappointed. (Your Eyes 2.0?) Basically, I hadn’t even considered this song.

But five days ago I stumbled on this bootleg audio recording of Karen Olivio as Karessa singing the song and even without the visuals, it had me in tears and I realised the true meaning of this song and I understood that it’s about a big life-changing relevation.

And that’s all thanks to Karen Olivo, so I decided I put her version in my fic. I originally had this as one of the last songs in the ‘present’ timeline and it would be for the moment that Kurt and Blaine realise that they are still in love and they had an epiphany about that. And then I would use other lyrics to illustrate that (Deep in my eyes, what do you see/Deep in my sighs, listen to me/Let the music commence from inside/Not only one sense, but use all five).

As you know, Answer Me from the Band’s Visit replaced that slot and it’s a beautiful song, but God, I wish I could’ve used Come To Your Senses. But if I wanted to have Karen’s version in the fic, I needed to put it in the ‘present’ timeline, since Karen performed that show in 2014 and the ‘past’ timeline ends in 2013. But yeah, as mentioned several times, I realised that I couldn’t put any more possible ‘past’ musicals in the ‘present’ timeline after I already put Falsettos, Legally Blonde and In the Heights there.

In the end, I am happy about the placement of the song in the fic. Come To Your Senses now refers to another epiphany, namely Kurt’s realisation that he has to give up on Blaine in order to feel okay. This also led to me picking these lyrics (the Everything's strange, you've changed/ And I don't know what to do to get through/I don't know what to do fits especially well!)

The Spotify playlist does have the movie version. It wouldn’t be possible at all, since the movie’s from 2021 and the ‘present’ timeline ends in 2020, but hey, I can’t add the Karen Olivo version to it (F in the chat) and the 2001 Off-Broadway recording isn’t on Spotify.

Work - Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812

No One Else

And I catch my breath And I laugh and blush And I hear guitars You are so good for me

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

Another one that’s pretty self-explanatory. Just like Origin of Love and I Can Hear The Bells, No One Else is just pure love! Blaine realises that maybe being in love with Kurt isn’t a bad thing after all. On the contrary, it’s wonderful!

Ordinary - The Last Five Years

Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You

I could never rescue you All you ever wanted But I could never rescue you No matter how I tried All I could do was love you hard And let you go

So, remember how I said that Forever Yours (reprise) is the definition of heartbreak? I lied! All of The Last Five Years is a harrowing experience, but of course, I Could Never Rescue You is the moment where Jamie writes a letter, telling Cathy that he wants a divorce. It’s the end. No turning back. And Kurt’s doing the same thing. Kurt tried so hard to hold on and to fix things, but with Blaine acting like that, there’s nothing to fix. So all Kurt could do was let him go.

I also considered another part of the lyrics (No matter how I tried/All I could do was love you/God, I loved you so/So we could fight/Or we could wait/Or I could go...), but unlike Cathy and Jamie, Kurt and Blaine never expressed their feelings for each other, so to add the lyrics about love felt a bit unnecessary. There’s already love in the snippet that I chose, and that was enough.

I think it’s fitting that last song in the ‘past’ timeline is the last song of The Last Five Years. This fic also had two alternating stories, with one beginning happily and ending on a sad note, and one beginning sadly and ending on a happy note. Of course, this fic has two timelines instead of one story being told from the begining to the end and vice versa, but I like the alternating between sadness and happiness in both stories.

And absolutely fucking thank you Jason Robert Brown, Adam Kantor and Betsy Wolfe for doing your Off-Broadway revival in 2013! This way I could use my favourite recording!

Company - The Band's Visit

Answer Me

Only you When the sun and moon and stars are gone What's left is only you Will you answer me? Answer me

So. This is a choice. Like I said, I scrapped Come From Away, but I was going back and forth between scrapping Come From Away or The Band’s Visit. I eventually picked The Band’s Visit, because I couldn’t find a proper song from Come From Away. I considered Come From Away’s Stop The World, since it’s a lovely love song, but it’s also about the fear of the end, so that was a hard pass. This chapter needed to establish that they were absolutely certain about each other and yes, I know, I’ve used songs that are questionable when you use the full song (see It’s Quiet Uptown oops), but Answer Me might not fit perfectly, but this song is so absolutely gorgeous. You can say that within the context of the fic, it’s about Kurt and Blaine knowing that the other will always be there (When the sun and moon and stars are gone/What's left is only you). It’s not a great revelation like Karen Olivo’s Come To Your Senses, but you know, I’m satisfied with my choice.

Rise - Hadestown

All I’ve Ever Known

You take me in your arms And suddenly there's sunlight all around me Everything bright and warm And shining like it never did before And for a moment I forget Just how dark and cold it gets

Ah yes, read my Myosotis series from the Klaine Advent 2019 for more information.

No, but for real. This song is just sweet and lovely and it’s about taking a chance on love. I did actually consider swapping this song and Answer Me, but I decided I wanted this story to end with Kurt and Blaine inside, cuddling in bed, with the cold and dark winter outside.

And I liked the idea that this song is the beginning of an epic love story (Orpheus and Eurydice, or Kurt and Blaine if you will). During the writing process, I jumped between ‘past’ and ‘present’. Those were the words that I used to outline my story and to match chapters with a song. But for this chapter, I used ‘future’. (This is why the fic ends in 2021, yet I still insist on saying that the ‘present’ timeline is 2020 only.)

And I actually have to thank tumblr user @rougedraconteur for that. When I first started writing this story, the setting was april 2020, but they reblogged one of the chapters with the tag #and is this holiday klaine?. In the end, the festivities are mostly skipped, but I decided to move it to december 2020. What an amazing choice! It did impact quite some plans for my ‘present’ timeline, since I now decided to push everything in the span of four weeks and there were several moments where I was afraid that the reconciliation went too quickly and too smoothly, but in turn it gave me the opportunity to use the kerstvakantie (two weeks of vacation for the holidays) and to solve the problem of ‘what to do with the last chapter: present, past or both?’ The answer is neither! It’s ‘future’ now, babes!

Not only that, but I hope that the ‘future’ chapter also shows that even though they’re dating and they are definitely getting their happy ending, it’s still the beginning of their new journey together and they still have some of their issues to work through. After all, I made it pretty clear that the way their friendship ended impacted both of them, but now they’ll work through it together. And that circles back to the feeling of All I’ve Ever Known. It’s a beginning. That is okay.

Bonus song: Black Friday

Take Me Back

Take me back in time to love you Take me back when we were lost Lost in love and lost in feeling Without the cost

Take me back in time to high school Take me back when things were light Light my heart and light my shadow And make it alright

Wow, what is this? A bonus song? Yes, there is a bonus song. I have a weird self-imposed rule about crossing Starkid and glee, which stems from a divide that was being uphold in 2011, and therefore I didn’t even consider any Starkid musical for this fic. After I picked my 24 shows, I was writing while listening to my Musical Love Songs playlist and this song came on and it hit me! I have my Thoughts(TM) about Black Friday but Take Me Back is such a wonderful, beautiful song about loss, love and regret.

I also considered another part of the lyrics to highlight (Cause I already lost it once/What I already won/I've lost too much now/To care/But I know that something’s still there). Tom and Becky meet each other again after years of no contact and they realise that their friendship and feelings shouldn’t have gone to waste, but that it’s not too late to rekindle and same is here. Just like Tom and Becky, Kurt and Blaine have lived their own lives in the seven years apart.

And I need to point out another part (In time to love you/Hold me closer than before/Heal my heart and mend what's broken), because in the end, Take Me Back is about realising it’s never too late to try again. They were broken, really broken, but I think Kurt and Blaine have grown and changed enough to have learnt from their past.

#story extras #klaine advent 2021

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