#pyro might be the one who kept a lot of old stuff from childhood

[5eraphim]

out of the merc's parents shown in cannon, who do we think would be most likely to hold onto old baby clothes "just in case" the might get passed down to their child's child?

(i really wanna put engie's parents here bc i just got the sense they would, but unfortunately- not shown in canon so :/)

[tf2-headcanons-and-scenarios]

Hewwo! Can I request some headcanons on how each mercenary would raise their daughter from childhood to adulthood? Thanksies!! Also, I adore your writing 😘💞

A/N: A nice short and sweet thing I hope you lot enjoy! My desire to have children when I’m older and married is strong so it fueled this for me :)

Scout:

- Honestly this man has no clue how to raise a daughter

- He knows how to raise boys, but knows nothing about raising girls, so you help him out more times than he wants to admit

- He definitely wants to make sure his daughter stays healthy and active, so growing up he introduces her to various sports

- Baseball, Softball and American Football are among the 3 most played sports between Scout and his daughter

- Early morning runs became a tradition between Scout and his girl growing up. Unless one was injured or sick, they would ALWAYS run in the morning

- Scout looks to you for giving your daughter life advice because try as he might he just can’t seem to give the right advice to her

- Overprotective? Nah, so long as his daughter doesn’t do something incredibly stupid or brings home a very dangerous partner

- When Scout’s daughter reaches adulthood, they continue with their morning jogs and start to play aggressively against each other in sport

Soldier:

- This man goes from hardcore drill seargent to hardcore softie in a matter of SECONDS after meeting his daughter for the first time

- This man is about discipline and self-routine. He’d try to make sure his daughter can look after herself properly in case anything was to happen

- He would definitely give in to the tea parties, he so would

- When she’s old enough, he’d teach her how to shoot a gun for self defence

- He leaves the stuff about school and girl-based advice to you

- He is literally the dad holding a shotgun when his daughter brings home a romantic partner, and he will intimidate them and their loyalty to his daughter

- Soldier will reward good behaviour and actions, often taking his daughter out to see a movie or get some ice cream

- When Soldier’s little girl becomes a woman, he’ll teach her how to use explosives and basically drop in with a packet of bread and stories to tell

Pyro:

- Pyro is just excited about having a daughter, that’s another person to host tea parties with!

- Dear god where they afraid of hurting her, especially since they worked with dangerous amounts of fire 24/7

- Cute clothes for the baby girl? FUCK YES!!!

- Stuffed toys? YOU BET!!!

- You enjoy watching Pyro play with your little girl, and you loved to join in

- All three of you celebrate the holidays like there is no tomorrow, and you absolutely love it

- Pyro surprisingly teaches your daughter how to be safe around fire. The last they want is to see their little girl covered in burn marks

- They are generally good with giving advice, but stuff like puberty is a zone Pyro does not go to, often leaving those questions with you

- When your daughter grows up, Pyro loves dropping in for tea, and definitely loves bringing up baby photos of your little girl

Demoman:

- Demoman is over the moon when he first met his daughter. He forever counts himself lucky he had the eyesight to see her

- Babyproofed the house and never laid a finger on explosives when she was around

- You never thought you’d see the day Demo would stop drinking, but ever since your daughter was born he didn’t touch a single drop

- He never consistently bagged your child about becoming a demolitions expert, but he always had fun making small and safe explosions in the yard every now and then

- He is the parent who sneaks their child a sip of Whiskey on the rocks. You were certainly not impressed when you caught him

- He did return to drinking as his daughter grew older, but he never drinks to the amounts he drank before she was born

- He is really good with life advice (thanks to his own mother), and is the dad that tries to guide his child along the straight and narrow path

- When she grows up he takes her down to the bar to drink responsibly, and he loves telling her stories of his days working as a mercenary

- You bet he tests the romantic partner with hardcore shots of Rum containing 90% Alcohol

- FYI such alcohol exists

Heavy:

- Heavy helped his mother raise his sisters for years, so having to look after a baby girl was easy for him

- Soft lullabies and fairytale stories at night were Heavy’s favourite moments of the day when your daughter was young

- Great with advice and puberty questions, though he sometimes turned to you to ask if he was answering them properly or not

- Definitely teaches his daughter fluent Russian and boxing

- As she gets older he starts talking more about his past as a mercenary and former life in a Russian gulag

- He definitely teaches his daughter the history of Russia and how bad things can be if a bad person was left in power

- When she grows up he is the loving father who loves talking as often as he can with his daughter. No matter how old she is, he would always call her by her childhood nicknames

Engineer:

- Engi wrote down lullabies on his guitar for her even before she was born

- Baby furniture was all assembled by hand by this Texan man

- He loves giving the infant girl cuddles and tries to get her to speak as early as humanly possible

- As she gets older he allows her into the workshop so long as she promises not to touch or break anything important or dangerous

- The amount of times this daughter of his has broken that rule is enough times to give him chronic back pains at the ripe old age of not-even-50-yet and you so very close to banning her from entering his workshop

- He is great with advice and even greater with schoolwork. He loves having discussions with her about subjects she doesn’t know too well. He will leave you with some personal questions if he can’t find the words for it

- He will encourage her to pursue her passions no matter what they were, even if society deemed it inappropriate. If she wanted to be a nurse or a lawyer or even the fucking Queen of England she can damn well strive to be just that!

- He invents various toys and items for her whenever an idea strikes him fancy, and he will teach her how to handle a wrench and a sink at least

- When she grows up he will continue making things for her and send them her way at random times. He will also be the aged father who loves playing the guitar for her

Medic:

- Local medical man knows you were pregnant with a girl before you were 3 months pregnant

- Said medical man was over the moon he had a daughter to look forward to (you found it surprising that he wanted to dress her up in a lot of cute outfits)

- Medic would always take charge with making sure you and your unborn daughter were healthy and happy throughout the pregnancy

- He would also be the one to deliver the baby! The amount of happy tears he shed holding her for the first time was the most happy you had seen him in a long time

- Having a baby kept Medic in his toes. No child of his, daughter or son, was going to go through the night with a cold!

- He is the one who always patches up his daughter’s scratches with bandaids and song-like words that cheer her up

- God forbid him even let her into the Medbay in the middle of an experiment

- Medic would let his child feed the birds, and Archimedes loves hanging around your daughter

- Medic would go to you for help when he needed advice on how to take care of his little girl properly, but otherwise the both of you were just fine

- When your daughter grew up the first thing she did was go to Medical school inspired by her father’s career, and he would help support her as much as he could

- She would also take care of her own brood of doves

- She promised to keep away from experimenting for your sake

Spy:

- THIS MAN WAS A NERVOUS WRECK WHEN HE FOUND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT

- He already failed to raise one child, so why did fate give him another?!

- He promised himself he wouldn’t run like he did with his first child, and stuck with you throughout the pregnancy

- He would not let you mention how much he cried holding your daughter for the first time to anyone else

- He was a very cautious man once your daughter arrived. He even stopped smoking inside buildings to avoid ruining her lungs

- Taught her how to speak French as early as she could understand it. This may have lead her to develop his accent over time but you love it

- Advice was something Spy trusted you to do more than himself. He would never shake the fear he was going to fail at his second attempt at being a father

- You always found your heart melting whenever you caught your daughter and Spy resting with one another after reading a bedtime story

- Even after growing up, Spy always looked out for his daughter, and wouldn’t hesitate to protect her from any of his enemies that try to harm her or you

- He is forever grateful he was given a second chance at fatherhood, and did his best to not let it go to waste

A/N: So I’m back! Hope ya didn’t miss me too much. Thanks for being patient with me!! 💕💕

[kellanved-ammanas]

Trick or Treat

“You want me to what?” Spy asked, looking confused.

“Take me trick-or-treating for Halloween this year. You weren’t there to do it with me when I was kid so you got to do it now,” Scout replied with a grin as he leaned against the wall instead of sitting on Spy’s desk – he’d get yelled at if he did that again. He was too old to go trick-or-treating but he’d dreamed of doing so with his father for ages as a kid and free candy was always good no matter how old he got. There was no law saying only kids could trick-or-treat so he was going to… if Spy was down for it, it’d be no fun alone. Though he could probably get some of their other teammates to come if Spy didn’t but… Spy had promised to do father/son stuff with Scout now that their relation to each other was open between them so Scout wanted him to do this.

But Spy still looked confused. “I don’t know what that is.”

“How do you not know what trick-or-treating is?”

Spy sighed, giving Scout that look that said he’d said something Spy thought was stupid, it wasn’t as harsh as it used to be though. “I’m from France, we don’t celebrate Halloween.”

“Oh.” Halloween was Scout’s favourite holiday, someone not celebrating it was almost inconceivable to him. “You still know what Halloween is though, right?” It’d be a lot harder to explain trick-or-treating if Spy didn’t know at least a little bit.

“Yes, you dress up as monsters and throw parties and get drunk naturally.” Ah, so he only had experience with the adult side of things. Well then, he might have fun going out and getting free candy too. … Wait, did he even like candy? Scout had never seen him eat any so maybe not but… who didn’t like candy?

“There’s another thing people do too, it’s called trick-or-treating. You dress up as a monster or whatever you like and go door to door and say ‘trick-or-treat’ when they answer and then they give you free candy.”

“That sounds like a recipe for disaster.”

“It’s fun though. And uh… most of my brothers had their dads take them and stuff, you know?” Scout had always been jealous that all his older half brothers knew their dads and occasionally did stuff with them while he never got that opportunity. Now he did have that opportunity if Spy was willing to go along with it anyway.

Spy studied him, his face unreadable under the mask before sighing. “Fine, if it means that much to you, I will take you.”

“Yes! Awesome, thank you.”

 -

Spy’s expression as he examined the customs Scout had brought for them to go trick-or-treating in come Halloween night looked like he smelled something foul. In hindsight Scout should’ve expected such, this was Spy after all, pleasing him seemed nigh on impossible at times.

“What’s wrong with them?” Scout asked with a sigh. He thought they looked cool, one was a vampire, the other a skeleton. And unlike when he’d been growing up he’d had the money to buy them himself, so they weren’t hand-me-downs or sheet ghosts.

“They’re cheap,” Spy said as if that were the most disgusting of bad qualities. “They simply will not do.” He waved his hand in dismissive gesture as he turned away. “If we have to dress up for this trick-or-treating thing then let me handle the costumes.”

“Uh… okay.” Good thing Scout had kept the receipt.

 -

“It looks badass, let me try it on.” Scout reached for the costume Spy had lain out on his coffee table for Scout to see. It was a nice suit but what really caught Scout’s eye was the full body cape, it was a vampire cape, the kind only seen in movies.

“No,” Spy said, grabbing his wrist. “I only want you wearing it for the shortest amount of time possible.”

“Ah, come on Dad, it looks cool.” Calling him ‘Dad’ often ended with Scout getting his way. Not this time apparently though as Spy continued to frown at him.

“No and if you damage it during the time I do let you wear it I’ll break every bone in your body and never let you touch any of my things again.”

“Uh… got it. I’ll be super careful with it, promise.” The first part was probably an empty threat but Scout didn’t want to risk it or not being allowed to touch Spy’s things.

“Good.” Spy nodded his affirmation as he pulled out a cigarette.

“What are you going to go as though?”

Spy shrugged. “I have not decided yet.”

“It’s next week though so you got to decide fast. And it’s got to be something cool so no fairy princess shit.”

Spy let out an exasperated sigh. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

***

Spy would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that watching Scout run around the room at top speed so the cloak Spy had lent him flew out behind him was endearing. How he had so much energy was beyond Spy though, when Spy had been his age he hadn’t been nearly as wild and he doubted Scout’s Mom had been.

“Remember if you damage it you are going to pay for it,” Spy said loud enough to break through to Scout.

Scout stopped, not even breathing hard. “Yeah, yeah, I know, don’t worry, it’ll be fine. It’s cool though, I look badass.” He grabbed the edges of the cape and pulled them out and above above his head, making it splay out like wings behind him. “It’s soft too and smells nice.”

“Yes, yes, can we go now?” Spy had dressed up too. He’d strongly considered dressing up in something that would embarrass Scout, meaning something silly, but this was their first Halloween together and Scout was excited for it so Spy would embarrass him in some other way later. Instead he put on a different coloured suit and a masquerade mask, wearing his normal mask underneath just in case. Scout had expressed disappointment with it until Spy had distracted by letting him put on his costume. “The sooner we start the sooner we can get this over with.”

“Yes, let’s go get free candy.” Scout grabbed the pillowcase he’d brought with him into Spy’s quarters – hopefully he’d at least washed it before deciding to use it like this, knowing him though it was unlikely – and headed back out. Spy had to fast walk to keep up with him.

Outside the base’s minivan was already out of the garage and the rest of the team was crowding around it. Everyone except for Sniper was heading to town to do Halloween stuff, namely getting drunk or going to parties. Which is what Spy used to think Halloween was all about since he’d never participated in it before, often choosing to hang out alone or occasionally with Sniper while everyone else took the given time off to goof off in town.

They all wore Halloween costumes. Pyro was dressed as a pink pony over his seemingly ever-present fireproof suit. Engie wore cat ears and nothing else special, lazy bum. Demoman was dressed as a pirate, not a costume he wore only on Halloween though so did it really count? Solider was decked out in American flag stuff, which was hardly a costume at all but not much more could be expected from him. Medic and Heavy had a Frankenstein theme going on, who even knew what they’d be up to in town?

Thankfully not much talk was exchanged before they all piled in. It was a tight uncomfortable squeeze but the drive wasn’t long.

 -

It seemed the entirety of Tuefort decorated for Halloween. ‘Spooky’ stuff was everywhere, it was almost as bad as Christmas time except the decorations were tackier. Scout was hyped about it though from the moment they were out of the car, he yammered about Halloween stuff, his Boston accent thickening to near incomprehensibility as it often did when he got too excited – or drank too much coffee. As a result, Spy understood maybe one in every three words or so and he wasn’t given any time to interject so he resigned himself to just riding it out.

He kept an eye on their surroundings out of habit. Most of the rest of the trick-or-treaters were young people, a lot of kids and some teenagers. As suspected Scout was too old for this but the vast majority had at least one parent with them and Spy hadn’t been there to do this with Scout when he was the proper age so he’d humor him this year at least. With how loud and obnoxious Scout was he could probably be mistaken for a teenage anyway, as long as no one looked too closely or recognized him.

Scout approached the first house with Spy a step or two behind him. He rung the doorbell and an older lady answered it. “Trick-or-Treat,” he said, holding his pillow case open. She gave him an odd look before shrugging and dropping a small handful of candy into his bag from a large bowl by the door.

“See? Free candy,” Scout said as they moved back. “I’ll share some of it with you if you want.”

“No thanks.” Spy had tried American candy before and was not a fan. “Make sure none of it has been opened before you eat it.” It wasn’t likely anyone would poison candy intended for children but it was still a possibility.

“Yeah, I know.”

They continued on like that, if anyone had a problem with an adult taking advantage of the holiday to get free candy no one said anything. Aside from the garishness of the decorations and some of the costumes, it wasn’t too bad. If Spy had been alone he’d have been basically invisible, despite being out in the open no one paid him any mind. No one even paid much attention to Scout, he wasn’t the only loud person on the streets tonight and considering the fact that he was sober he wasn’t the worst of them either.

He talked at Spy between houses about Halloween stuff, movies, traditions, things he’d done during the holiday in the past, such as pulling pranks – sometimes kind of cruel – on his brothers or neighbours or pranks that had been pulled on him, often not nice ones from his brothers. A bit calmer, he was easier to understand. Though he still rarely gave Spy and opportunity to reply. Whatever though as long as he was happy Spy didn’t really care. And well, since he hadn’t been there, he was interested by the tales of Scout’s childhood.

At the speed he had them walking and the amount of houses that gave out candy here – apparently a lot compared to where Scout grew up in Boston – it wasn’t too long before Scout’s pillowcase was filled with candy. It was almost midnight too and the number of trick-or-treaters had thinned significantly. Meaning it was time to stop.

“You sure you don’t want some?” Scout asked. They were sitting on a park bench near where the car was parked and he was already stuffing his face with candy.

“I’m sure,” Spy replied. He was tired and wanted to go home. This outing hadn’t been as bad as it could’ve been but he was ready for it to be done now.

They sat there and waited for the others to show up. Scout was now too busy sorting through and eating candy to chat much, meaning they sat in silence. Spy was more than fine with that but he wished he’d brought a pack of cigarettes with him, he could use one right about now.

“Howdy partners.”

Spy looked up and over to see their teammates finally approaching – minus Sniper of course. Engie was walking in front, holding a hand up in greeting. Heavy walked behind him, Medic either passed out or asleep in his arms. Pyro walked with Demoman, righting him whenever he staggered too far in one direction or another as he continued to drink despite the fact he’d clearly had more than enough already, he was going to drink himself to death if this continued. And Soldier took up the rear, marching as if he were in a parade, typical.

“What happened to Medic?” Scout asked as they stood up.

“Drunk too much,” Heavy said with a shrug. “He’ll be grouch tomorrow so watch out.”

“You guys have fun?” Engie asked after peeking back over his shoulder to check on Demo and Pyro.

“Yeah, look at how much free candy we got.” Scout proudly held up the pillow case. Most of it was probably cheap and low quality, not that Scout would care.

“Let’s go, I have stuff I need to do tomorrow before we go back to fighting the next day,” Spy said. “I’ll drive.” He held out a hand towards Engie and Engie obediently tossed him the keys, meaning as suspected, he’d been drinking too even if it was nowhere near as much as the others.

“Shotgun.” Scout took off towards the car, running at top speed. Spy could only sigh and shake his head before following him, going much more slowly. Scout would just have to stand there, waiting for however long it took the rest of them to reach the car too.

 -

The drive back was uneventful other than Demoman finally passing out halfway through. It was past one the morning before they finally arrived back at the base. Spy parked in the garage and they all unloaded and went their separate ways to go to their rooms.

“Hey uh… Spy, Dad,” Scout interrupted Spy before he could head into his rooms.

“Yeah?” Spy turned back to face him.

“Thanks for uh… humoring me tonight. I know it’s not really your thing and all but… it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, I… really appreciate it.” Rubbing the back of his neck, not once did Scout look up to meet Spy’s eyes. Which was probably for the best, Spy didn’t know how to react and his unsureness undoubtedly showed in his eyes before he got his expression under control again.

“You are very welcome.” He hadn’t had fun but… it didn’t matter as long as Scout did.

“And I didn’t tear your cloak.” Scout grinned, looking up but still not meeting Spy’s gaze. They were both bad at this whole family thing, huh? At least they were trying though, right? “I suppose you probably want it back now huh?”

“No, you can keep it.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Spy had no real use for it and he could easily buy another if the need ever arose.

“Awesome. You’re the best, Dad. But I’ll let you go to bed now, I know you old people need your sleep.” Scout zoomed off down the hall, holding the cape up to make it flutter behind him.

Spy stared after him, grateful he’d been in a rush to leave, not even offended by the comment about him being old – it was true anyway. Scout of course hadn’t meant the other part like that, Spy was not and never would the best dad. It had just been a phrase, nothing more, but… it was nice to hear anyway.

He groaned at himself and he unlocked his door and stepped in. He was getting sappy in his old age. He should maybe stop and hardened up but… who cared? His son was an effective mercenary, he could take care of himself, so they could be family without much worry. Which was what they both wanted anyway so why fight it?