#quite cleverly done

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Someone just posted the entirety of one of Bo Burnham's earliest comedy performances on YouTube!

Called The World Stands Up, this British comedy showcase features a VERY young Bo (only 17 at the time!) playing guitar and singing 3.14 Apple Pi.

You can watch the clip (Bo starts around 15 minutes in) here

[elitadream]

It had been a little while since the last time I made art of these two... I figured the occasion justified a small sequence. 🤭

One element I actually quite liked about Mario and Peach's first meeting in the film was the unusual context surrounding it. This whole misunderstanding involving the royal toad brigade, with Mario being initially mistaken for a dangerous trespasser and chased around inside the Castle... I thought it was a great setup to introduce the two, as it helped build tension and cleverly established how first impressions can indeed be misleading. x3

Granted, there are many things about their movie dynamic that I personally would have done very differently, but I’m glad for the unprecedented visibility this franchise has gotten lately and you can be sure there will be a lot more from me still. 😎✨

[nymphaliia]

𐙚 TOKYO REVENGERS SMUT

୨୧ sanzu x police officer!reader

— you need to arrest sanzu, but you're alone and he thinks you'd be so much prettier beneath him, so he takes it upon himself to remind you of your place.

cw : noncon, gun play (not really), threats, public sex, blowjob, cum swallow, humiliation, slight spitting

my masterlist : ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

your job was tough. you knew that when you signed up so you didn't have any right to complain. but there were nights like this which were radically harder than others.

you were patrolling on your assigned neighborhood on your own. it wouldn't be effective to have you there without any help, but your police station was running short of workforce so it left you with no choice.

and you regretted deeply to have come here tonight when your boss had suggested you join another group in a less secluded area. but, you wanted to assure the safety of the inhabitants, as you've been warned repeatedly of the growing activity of various gangs here.

regardless, when you think about it, it was careless and stupid of you to think you could've managed any issues alone if one had to happen.

this overconfident thought process of yours is what led you to your current situation, a gun pointed at your head. your gun.

"what's wrong, weren't you about to arrest me?", you tried to think cleverly, hands raised in a surrender motion in hopes he wouldn't shoot just for fun.

"listen, I'm only doing my job. you need to surrender yourself to the police, my colleagues have been notified, they'll be there soon. it's in your interest to stop protesting" the man seemed insanely high, pupils dilated all the way and an eccentric speech you often found with drug addicts.

you had to gain time and act extra careful with him. the way he handled your gun showed you he wasn't a novice and knew what he was doing. shooting you would have been the least exciting highlight of his day.

"you talk a lot for a little bitch like you. your mouth doesn't need all those big words" you watched as he glared at you, getting annoyed at your 'bratty' act and thinking of a way to entertain himself.

"you're quite reckless even though I'm holding you at gunpoint" he stated lazily. you eyed him carefully, choosing not to say anything for fear of upsetting him further.

"do you value your life ? because I'm thinking of a few ways you could try and save your life" he laughed lightly, a playful expression finally making his way to his face.

you gulped as you watched him start to caress his member through his pants and you noticed with dread that the man was hard. a little wet spot had appeared and you could only pray he wouldn't make you do what you thought he would.

but of course, he was the one in charge. you had been dumb enough to let this drug addict stole it from you and now you were paying the price. you judged your options, not knowing what he would do to you and how far he was able to take it. you prepared yourself for any demand.

"get on your knees and show me how much you want to live. or would you like to test how long it'll take for your other friends to get there?", he agitated the gun in front of your head, clearly indicating what was about to become of you if you tried to play it smart.

you could resist, but he seemed way too determined at making you obey. you knew he'd force you physically if you didn't follow his words.

you shuddered at the thought of your coworkers stumbling upon you, watching with disgust and horror their sweetest colleague in such a shameful position.

so you went along, swallowing your pride and slowly sinking to your knees. you felt humiliated and wronged, knowing you'll get no mercy from the man in front of you. you were either gonna suck him off or die on the spot. your choice was done.

you grew more anxious as you watched him unzip his pants, taking his hard dick out and presenting it to you. the tip fell on your lips and you had a recoil, lucidity preventing you from remaining emotionless.

"come on princess, work for your life", he was mocking you and you had no choice but to stay silent, slowly parting your lips when he forced his dick inside.

watching you glaring up at him with a face cutely deformed by his length made him laugh at you, condescending eyes looking down at you.

"aah yes, you're definitely prettier when you shut the fuck up. acting all big and mighty just doesn't suit an airhead like you baby"

you wanted to cuss him out, regretting how stupid you had been for complying to his words in exchange for your life. at least you would've died properly during your shift like any proper cop.

but here you were, on your knees for the criminal you were supposed to arrest. you were such a failure, if your police station learned about that, you could bet your life was over for real this time.

"you better hurry up and make me cum, wouldn't want them to find out their colleague is just a dumb slut who opens her mouth wide for any criminal to cum into, right?" he presses the gun deeper into your forehead, eyes questioning if you have any fighting spirit left in you with a raised brow. he smirks when he finally feels you start to move, your movements are clumsy but it draws a few loud moans from him, obviously not caring at all about the possible passers-by.

"fuck, getting your dick sucked by a cute little cop is the best. you're doing great baby, taking it like a champ'", he mocks, tangling his hand in your head and watching you gag as he pushes you deeper and deeper on his cock. your choke are stimulating him and he finds no sympathy in himself to give you a moment to breathe.

you turn light-headed, slapping his thighs in an attempt to ask him for oxygen and he just laughs.

"poor princess, do you need someth- aah almost there, that's right keep sucking me like that" he swiftly puts your gun in his back pocket to allow him to use your head easier. that's how harmless you seem to him, he doesn't even need a gun to make you submit and it hurts your pride even more.

he now grabs two handful of your hair, scalp burning in his hands, before he slides you along his shaft quicker.

he throws his head back, enjoying the unholy sounds you make along with the sweet pleasure your abused throat offers him.

you find little relief in knowing you're alone there. at least your reputation won't be too dirtied... but of course, it wouldn't be funny if that's how things went?

"y/n ?! where are you, we've received your localisation" you freeze. you recognise that voice as your colleague, a nice guy with whom you spend most of your shift with. expect for tonight.

you look up at the man above you, fearing the glint of malice in his eyes.

"they came to look for you, how sweet. do you want me to call them over to tell them you're alright baby?" he roughly removes you from his dick, allowing you to pant for air. you would've crumbled at his feet if not for the way his hand was solidly attached to your hair. it hurt and you were scared to be discovered.

you hurriedly pleaded him with multiple shakes of your head, eyes wide and looking up at him with dread.

sanzu felt like he had won, smiling satisfyingly upon witnessing how undone you looked. just a bit of manhandling, threats and having your mouth fucked was enough to turn you into a submissive cum slut? what a treat.

he was glad he decided to go pay a visit to one of his client tonight.

"damn, her car is here but she's nowhere to be found. hope she's alright, there's a lot of gang stuff going on in this place" you listen as the voices come and go, internally praying for them to leave as soon as possible and search for you somewhere else.

you were too lost in your fear that you let out a loud chocking sound when he shoved his dick again in your warm mouth, growing tired of listening to the shouting of your name. and he stayed there again, unmoving, wearing your mouth like a socket.

you tried to throw a look behind you. you could hear them but couldn't see anything as he had your back turned on the road. even though you were hidden in a dark alley, you knew sanzu could see them clearly and you could only hate the way his smile widened at your distress.

"hey be careful, you don't want them to find you if your being too loud, do you?" and with that he started pounding into your head again.

he enjoyed the way your face looked a mess, with saliva dripping down your chin and chest, knees bruised at how long you've been on the ground and how your mascara was dirtying your cheeks. it felt so good to corrupt a cute little cop like you.

he felt your throat tightening upon hearing footsteps getting closer. he knew you were scared but it only pushed him to wreck you even more.

"oh- yes that's the spot. if you keep doing that I might just nut on the spot, are you sure you're doing the right job? might as well just become a whore..."

and he finally felt it, happy to do it in your pretty mouth.

he gripped your hair tighter, coming in your mouth with low grunts. you chocked around him, helping him finish quicker. you felt the warm liquid spurting inside and you had no choice but to swallow as he wouldn't let you go until he was sure you had tasted him fully.

"fuck, that felt so good princess. I love coming into an obedient slut's mouth, always the best" he patted the top of your hair dreamily, his lips stretched into a content smile while he kept his dick inside your mouth, waiting for the high to dissolve a little.

when he finally released you, he let his dick go in a pop, letting it rest on top of your panting head, the saliva and rest of cum coating his shaft fell on your head in drops but you were too exhausted and defeated to do anything.

sanzu felt satisfied with how things turned out today and chose to leave without any regrets. he promised himself he would pay you a little visit too when he felt like it and he jokingly kissed your cheek, thanking you for your hard work.

he cleaned his member by smearing it on your face before putting it back in his pants. he threw your gun back right in front of you "I think that's yours, you can keep it baby" and with a final spit on your face, which you received with no resistance, he finally left, unapologetic and a ting of mockery in his tone "I'm sure you'll be able to keep that secret between the two of us, right princess?"

what an asshole.

you took a moment to gather yourself, messily clearing your face up with your shirt, trying your best to look presentable.

you felt ashamed of yourself for having helped this asshole to cum. you spat all you could to try and get rid of the foul taste but to no avail.

you were at least glad he wasn't here to witness your little reunion with the people you worked with for years. you know he would've laughed at you.

you dusted your knees as you stood up, stumbling on your feet which had grown weak during the past minutes. you tried to think of a good excuse to justify your lack of response and finally made yourself known to your coworkers.

"y/n, here you are! we thought something bad happened to you- wait are you okay, you look really... tired?"

[rwrbficrecs]

Here's our October recs ❤️ also, look at our new banner !! 🥰 Happy reading !! I’m just too soft for all of it by @bellamysgriffinprincess (book/movie-verse)

@dot524: This is a sweet one shot where Henry is struggling with depression, Alex drops everything to be with him, and they comfort each other. Very well done.

Confidential Memorandum by @sherryvalli (book-verse)

@wilmonsfolklore: this is such a sweet kidfic. Henry is Alex's boss, and Alex keeps getting calls from Henry's daughter when Henry is busy. It's heartwarming and comforting and the dialogue is wonderfully written, especially their love confessions.

@babiemonk: the perfect lighthearted kidfic! The child dynamic is perfect and the humor is spot-on. If you’re looking for a fun, feel good, story with some domestic fluffiness this is it.

@rmd-writes: a sweet, funny fic with excellent banter, and a stellar supporting cast of OCs. It quite literally made my face do this: 🥰 I saved it with the note "read when you need to feel better about the universe).

Aged Like a Fine Wine by @three-drink-amy (book-verse)

@babiemonk: Alex and Henry are older now and cakegate never happened. There’s lots of emotions and angst and growth and it’s really quite beautiful but also tragic at times. It hurt my heart and my feelings before putting them back together again.

In my dreams (In your dreams) by @lizzie-bennetdarcy (book-verse)

@babiemonk: very cute drunken love confessions— absolutely precious friends to lovers

all of our love filling all of our room by @kill8a (book-verse)

@inexplicablymine: this is so incredibly soft and childhood friends to lovers I have reread this more times than I’m willing to admit

Help Me Hold On To You by @affectionatelyrs (book-verse)

@read-and-write-: A one- shot, a very cathartic one about the aftermath of a fight between Alex and Henry. This is one to cry from beginning to end, it's beautifully written and you will be left speechless.

flatline by rizcriz (book-verse)

@wilmonsfolklore: exes to lovers is one of my favourite tropes and this work shows perfectly how naturally and fully Henry and Alex love each other. it's sad and heartbreaking but it has a happy ending that makes the crying all worth it.

What I Need Tonight by @sparklepocalypse (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: This fic was written for Kinktober's prompt "selfcest", which for some might be sound a little too weird, but that's exactly why I picked this one as my monthly fave. If you like reading smut, give this a chance. Yes, it's hot but also emotional and it has Oxford-time slutty Henry!

heartbeats under coats by @hypnostheory (book-verse)

@heybuddy-drabbles: one of my favorite works to come out of FirstPrince week. It's really sweet and sexy. There was only one bed at its finest.

All Booked Up by @three-drink-amy (book-verse)

@heybuddy-drabbles: another FirstPrince week gem. This was just so beautiful. Alex and Henry meet during a vacation, spend three perfect days together and then loose contact until June and Nora force Alex to read a book they both love and something about it makes Alex think of Henry. I absolutely fell in love with it.

@rmd-writes: it's no secret that I'm an allmylovesatonce fan and this is one of my ultimate favourites of hers. A very cleverly told love story, with some wonderful June and Nora content as a bonus!

praying our bridges don’t make waves by @anincompletelist (book-verse)

@rhubarb1210: This fic is such a cool take on soulmates. Henry agrees to pretend to be Alex’s soulmate to get June health insurance. Lots of universe building. And I can’t give away more! Inspired by Fractured by @clottedcreamfudge

everything's growing in our garden by matherine (book-verse with a few movie elements)

@indomitable-love: Absolutely loved this hanahaki fic – the pacing and tension are so good, the relevance of all the different flowers is just beautiful

It's Nice to Have a Friend by @mainstreamelectricalparade (book-verse)

@read-and-write-: Childhood Best Friends to lovers AU, where Henry, the prince of england meets another boy during a holiday, they send each other letters and they fall in love, it's soft and it's beautiful, a love that tascends the page and is reflected on all the characters actions.

I feel the beating of your heart, I see the shadows on your face by @anincompletelist (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: This fic has such an interesting premise, and although I’ve never been into the bodyswap trope I’m so glad I gave this one a chance. It was done so incredibly well and was such a fun, wholesome fic.

Henry Fox, All-American Hero by @tintagel-or-cockleshells (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: This is a fic inspired by Meg Cabot’s All American Girl (which I am a huge fan of) and everything about this fic had me screaming in delight. Loved this so much, I’m obsessed.

maybe take me into your room by @smc-27 (book-verse)

@thesleepyskipper: Alex and Henry are both the children of ambassadors to Canada from their respective countries in this lovely AU. Friends-to-lovers perfection, this was so, so good.

a degree of fate by @softlofty (book/movie-verse)

@dot524: In this AU, Alex and Henry meet as university students. This is a sweet get-together fic with depth and heart.

It's Tradition by @f-ing-ruthless-baz (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: Alex and Henry's soulmate bond revealed itself publicly and now they have to act like they're in love, even though they hate each other. This fic is such an excellent use of soulmate trope and looks into so many possiblities in a world were soulmate bonds exsist. It's also super funny, a little angsty and Alex is even more oblivious than usually.

I’d be smart to walk away (but you’re quicksand) by @littlemisskittentoes (book/movie-verse)

@dot524: Such a wonderful, heartfelt 5+1 based on canon events when Henry walked away and one where he stayed.

Catalyst of Change by @uglygreenjacket (book-verse)

@myheartalivewrites: an AU that’s pretty close to canon in some ways: Alex (still a well known child of politicians) and Henry (still a prince) meet as students in Edinburgh. This story is sweet and gentle and heart wrenching at points, but also incredibly uplifting in Henry and Alex’s determination to be together no matter the obstacles. And the Scottish setting is gorgeous and really evocative.

Ghosted by @tintagel-or-cockleshells (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Twists and turns abound in this story that borders the line between life and death. I love the depth of the plot and just how deeply and quickly Alex and Henry fall for each other- and the fantasy aspect immediately put this high on my list of faves! Not to mention all the great references to my favorite things throughout the fic. This fic is amazing!

Such a Burden, This Flame on My Chest by @three-drink-amy (book-verse)

@heybuddy-drabbles: a 911 Lone Star!AU very angsty but with a happy ending. Alex going through grief felt really fucking relatable. It's also spicy in contrast with the angst.

But I love him, whether or no. by @leaves-of-laurelin (book-verse)

@dot524: This firefighter AU is one of my favorite RWRB fics ever, and I’m glad I was able to follow it from WIP status to complete this month. Alex as a firefighter is irresistible (Henry thinks so too) and somehow these two feel so true to character even in a completely different context. There are so many fun scenes here - riding a bull, an airport scene, shenanigans at a fire station, sentimental piano playing - but none of them are forced. Truly a wonderful fic that I know I’ll be returning to again and again.

@wilmonsfolklore: seconding this one so so so much!! read it in one sitting and have been thinking about it ever since then. there are so many heartfelt and sweet conversations in it. everyone's so true to their character in such a different situation. can not recommend it enough

[ay0nha]

Some Unholy War | Theseus Scamander

SUMMARY: In an ideal world, you’d like to think you and Theseus could be friends. Frankly, though, his compassion made you nauseous. Or maybe it was nerves. The feeling was always hard for you to distinguish. You wished the way he looked at you would bring warmth to your chest, but it only reminded you of how that was another impossibility. 

PAIRING: Theseus Scamander x f!reader 

WORD COUNT: 2.1K

WARNINGS: canon-typical things, mentions of smoking and drinking, angst, morally gray reader, mutual pining, semi enemies-to- lovers, protective Theseus, etc. 

A/N: Lowkey proud of this one, so comments and feedback are Super welcomed! This was based off this request, so thank you SO much anon, this was a blast that might have to be a series. Also Huge thanks to @kalllistos​ for all the help, couldn’t have been done without you!! Enjoy.

PART II, PART III, PART IV

You fit in so absolutely.

The rim of your glass was still lined with enough sugar to enjoy dwindling sips. Theseus knew it was gin. Your lipstick left a mark on everything you kissed, the pattern was found on your glass, and the cigarette holder balanced between your fingers. You made everything look so serene. Simple.

Scanning the room, you hadn’t seen Theseus yet. However, he, too, fit in—tie properly knotted to show his status and pocket-watch cleverly tucked in his waistcoat. Once he joined you at the secluded booth, he’d complete the idyllic image.  

Yet, Theseus lingered for a moment, taking you in. Your confidence was always envious. It worked silently, exuding from your presence alone. Your magnetism couldn’t be credited to magic but to how you evolved, becoming pointed and moving without fault.

Theseus was one of the only ones remaining to know it hadn’t begun that way. He remembered you, a few years below him, always sprinting to class, already late. The professors would scold you, and your confidence was read as insolence. You challenged everything and excelled in doing so, but it only lent itself to trouble. It created a barrier always present between the two of you.

“You’re late.” You sucked in a crackling breath. With pointed eyes, you took his presence in. Even late into the night, he was always so poised. Professional.  “I’m risking a lot showing my face here.”

“You look beautiful.” Theseus slid into the leather cushion. The charm always came with his supposed  professionalism. It came in waves and never crawled under your skin the way intended. “Relax…It’s fine.”

Unbuttoning his suit jacket’s button, Theseus settled. It was bold of you to accept his invitation to meet so publicly, but he knew you couldn’t resist. You just needed to play your part smartly and get what you want.  

“Your promises are too shallow for me to trust.” You crossed your legs, making it easier to lean and be heard. Then, you clicked your tongue against your teeth with sarcasm, “I think I’d rather you arrest me.”

“Unfortunately, I’ve clocked out for the night.” Theseus was an intentional man, a clever man. He was protecting his image just as much as yours. “It’s just you and me.”

“That’s why you wanted to meet here…” You hummed with feigned realization. The muggle restaurant was a precarious cover but equally as rewarding in its purpose. “You know there are better ways to ask someone on a date.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time…” Theseus matched your hum absentmindedly. The banter was a buffer, something to ease into an inevitable unwanted conversation. Reaching into his heavily charmed jacket, he pulled out a file.

It was always a fucking file. The folders were always pristine, never quite full of all the information, just enough of what Theseus was willing to share. It grew over the years of the unorthodox relationship, but you knew not to mistake that for trust.

The figures in the picture were blurry, moving incoherently as they entered a building. The stack of images moved in sequence, following rushedly an exchange that was meant to remain a secret. Without seeing their faces well, you knew who they were, and you held back from using your cigarette roach to burn it all away. Instead, the image repeat over and over before you, but your expression was trained with passivity.

“When did he get out?” You finally met Theseus’ eye. Your composure could fool most, but to a trained eye, your discomfort was obvious.

“A month or so at this point...”

Your laugh was bitter. “So, I’ve been a sitting duck.”

“You’ve been avoiding me...” Theseus countered, his tone just barely teasing. There was truth in jest, as there were plenty of owls following you. You looked at him, knowing what came next. His compassion would get him killed. “...I can help you.”

“Careful.” You cocked your head, musing a buried thought. “You’re getting awful sentimental these days.”

“Don’t you want those off?” Theseus leaned in like you had, voice low. Although his fingers were threaded together, he pointed to the bracelets on your wrists.

You smirked, “And ruin my outfit?”

Rarely did you acknowledge them so explicitly. The bracelets—admonitors—dampened your magic by tracking your every spell. They made you feel like a child with a trace spell. Part of you wished you could say you grew accustomed to the constant surveillance, but you grew weary of lying.

The offer was too sweet, and you wanted more than just your magic untraced. “What’s the catch?”

“You help the Ministry find him.” Theseus was trying to protect you, but you were too filled with vindication to notice.

“You mean work for you.”

He frowned, correcting you, “With me.”

“There truly isn’t a difference in your world.” You spat. The ministry was the reason you were in this mess; they branded your cuffs as a daily reminder that your autonomy was shared. “You’d be using me as bait.”

The conversation would go in circles, as it always had. It was the reason more time was added between meetings. Every time you left, that bitter taste grew stronger, and it was difficult to put it aside to face Theseus again and again. This was different—more threatening, but your anger prevailed.

“I won’t do it.”

“Catching him will clear your name.” Theseus all but begged. He remained poised, but you knew it would only last for so long. Those around you looked your way; interest piqued in conversation they weren’t privy to.

“I’m not innocent.” You were blunt. You had been called cold because of it. But it was a trait that you favored, especially at times like this. You wanted to see Theseus break.

You had done unspeakable things, figuring it was an acceptable way to siphon your affection. You were young and blinded by false idolization. Theseus chose to see the best in you, even now, even after everything. He, too, was blinded by an image of you that hadn’t changed since you were children.

The table held your drink, forgotten and diluted. The air was tense and hushed. Theseus needed to move fast, knowing you were moments away from fleeing. But he knew he had just enough time as you lit another cigarette, this time not for vanity but to quell your nerves.

Your nails tapped on the base of your cocktail glass. Your fingertips twitched, begging to satisfy their itch for magic. You debated on if your actions would be worth it.  Theseus decided for you, hand flexing to replenish your drink.

Your lipstick remained fresh but still marked the glass. It was perfectly cold, calming the swarm of nerves that hit you. “It’s a bit strong.”

“Nothing you can’t handle, I’m sure.” Theseus appreciated your teasing; it meant he was doing something right.

“This place is quite charming, you know,” You looked around before shifting forward even more. It may have been improper, but you leaned over the table, elbows resting comfortably. “Next time, we’ll have to venture and order food.”

“Sure.” Theseus agreed, body language mirroring yours. To anyone else, the pair of you would look smitten. “Anytime you’d like.”

“Anytime?” Your eyebrow ticked up as you tapped at the ashtray.  “Come on, I’m surprised you’ve stuck around as long as you have.” Your knuckles crept forward, almost bumping his as they dragged to the middle of the linen cloth atop the table. “Truly—We haven’t—”

You stopped yourself with an uncharacteristic laugh. A tinge spread below Theseus’ freckles, assuming your humor was chastising him. But you were laughing at yourself, at how ridiculous you felt. You were enjoying yourself.

The feeling felt foreign, so you prickled. “Be practical, Theseus.”

Your worlds barely overlapped, and where it had highlighted the worst parts of each of you. Your world was dark and hidden; you stole and bribed. You were suitable for it and resisted morphing into the image Theseus expected of you.

He was as kind as any Hufflepuff, putting other needs first and blindly placing his kindness. He mistook his demeanor for bravery, but his true bravery formed by sitting across from you. The only barrier seemed to be Theseus’ incorruptible moral code, a space where you couldn’t quite freely exist.

“I need to know the full story.” His voice was commanding, betraying his desperation.

Theseus looked warm, contrasting the winter blizzarding outside. A bubble was created that was becoming suffocating, but with him across you, it seemed just marginally bearable. His hand flexed, skimming yours, hoping to regain your attention.

“You already know how it ends. What does the rest matter?” You thought to sink back, but you chased the small contact. “I want nothing to do with this. With him.”

“I’ll be there the entire time,” Theseus promised, voice low and steady, reflecting his sincerity. You could make out the warmth he was willing to share, but you weren’t willing to accept it wholly.

“And my interests?”

Theseus’ expression fell slightly at your evasive rejection. It reminded him of his position, of his strained relation to you—what he was supposed to do but always found a reason to put off.

“It depends on where they lie.”

In an ideal world, you’d like to think you and Theseus could be friends. Frankly, though, his compassion made you nauseous. Or maybe it was nerves. The feeling was always hard for you to distinguish. You wished the way he looked at you would bring warmth to your chest, but it only reminded you of how that was another impossibility.

You wished his gaze would turn you to stone; that way, you could avoid everything else. Instead, it made you melt, it made you pliable in way you opposed with others. There was a suspicion he kept returning just because of that—despite your bluff and his willful ignorance, you weren’t made of stone, and deep down, he knew that. Probably not consciously, but he did.

You always came back. Or he did—another indistinguishable something. You could still feel his fingers reaching for yours. It almost made you cave. Yet, your back met the bench of the booth, and your hand drew away as you placed your cigarette on your lips.

Although you were still present, Theseus watched you flee. Your guard returned stronger, but he didn’t regret his words. Theseus’ eyes were pleading, and you went to blame his naivety, but you found something distinct there. The reason you were here tonight was not for a favor.

It was an ultimatum, not a request.

“When was this decided?” You asked. You thought Theseus came alone, and now the naivety fell on you. There were too many eyes on you now to dismiss the crowd as solely muggles.  You fell so perfectly into the trap that all you could do was laugh.

“I wanted to keep you out of this,” Theseus admitted. It was the truth, but he knew what needed to be done. The greater good, you could already hear his defense. “This is the only way.”

“Your way.” You shook your head. Another laugh. “And what happens when he kills me? Hmm?”

“He won’t.” Another promise that made you sick. “I’ll be there the whole ti—

“Then you, Theseus—” Venom dripped from your every pointed word. From the corner of your eye, you saw how the undercover aurors were ready to respond to your agitation. If they wanted a spectacle, you were moments from providing it. “— are ill-prepared for what he’s willing to do.”

“You need to trust me.” Theseus attempted to regain the conversation but failed to recognize any mending he made was lost.

“And why should I trust the man that watches my every move?”

Theseus put you in this position; he was the wizard who held your wrist tightly all those years ago to secure the admonitors. For your own good, he told you. He believed it, and yet again, you found yourself at the hands of his so-called mercy.

“And if I decline?” You weren’t in such a position to, but Theseus understood your question only brought ruination. 

“The only way you're walking out of here is because of me.”

A threat, how original.  Your cigarette threatened to burn your lips. The ash tarnished the linen that fell over your lap. Apart of you hoped it would set the entire thing aflame. Maybe then you’d have a chance at a genuine escape. For now, though, you resolved to the final word.

“You think you are blessed with morality—” You finished your drink, the taste becoming sour. “—yet what sits before me is nothing but a boy that’s only purpose is to follow orders blindly.”

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

because this has been on my mind wrapping up the epilogue, here is a little story about how writing fanfiction for very silly sometimes awesome sometimes genuinely terrible SYFY show the magicians changed my life for real.

i started writing help, i’m alive in may 2020. as i have stated many times on this blog, the overarching goal from which this story sprung was my passionate desire to give quentin coldwater each and every last thing he deserved: i wanted to follow him all the way through a downward spiral, and then i wanted to figure out what it would take for him to climb out of the darkness and make it to somewhere he actually wanted to be. the first part of that, the part that became damage control, was some of the easiest writing i’ve ever done, even accounting for the hours spent google mapping the most depressing road trip of all time. the second part was harder, and not just because it wound up being more than four times as long (lmao). it was thornier; there were more threads to weave through; and, frankly, quentin was so fucked up that it took a lot of effort even to outline what it was he needed in order to change. i had written one story already in which the pivot happened entirely internally, an act of self-forgiveness that proved transformational, and i knew that this time i needed to give him more: actual wants, actual actions, an actual life, with actual ties not just to the people already in his circle but to the world beyond. once i had that outline, the first four chapters flowed pretty easily, anchored by the goal of hitting the story’s first big win, which is when quentin finds a way to fix something for the first time since his magic broke; chapter five was where i got stuck.

by that point, it was fall. i had quit my teaching job mid-pandemic with some modest savings, no back-up plan, and a growing realization that after five years in the classroom, teaching was no longer something i could see myself returning to; working obsessively on this story was, among other things, a great way to quiet the constant humming freak-out of what the fuck i was going to do with my life. in october doing some jump squats after sitting in bed all day i threw my back out so badly i couldn’t walk to the bathroom unassisted and paid a hundred dollars to talk to a telehealth doctor for fifteen minutes for some muscle relaxants. the pain sucked, but so did not knowing whether i was going to be better by election day — i’d signed up to be a poll worker, and i really could have used the money.

i’d started dipping my toe in some local volunteer stuff when i quit, but it was during this time that i signed up for the first time for a particular project i was really excited about joining. i did the zoom training with my camera off because my back still hurt too much to sit up; the follow-up involved scanning and emailing some personal documents and signed agreements. i didn’t do it the next day because, whatever, my back fucking hurt; i didn’t do it the day after that because…? and then, well — then i started feeling like i had missed my chance, and it was too late now.

now, here’s the thing: i say feeling like because by this point i had learned enough about the world that i knew — like, knew — that, objectively, taking a few days to send an email (during a pandemic, while i was having previously established health issues) is not considered by most people to be an unforgivable crime. i knew that i should still send the email. and i also had learned enough about myself that i could actually recognize the thing happening in my brain as an example of the kind of overly self-protective mechanisms in which i have many years of practice; i knew by then that i was an absolute expert at finding reasons to not do things that felt like they were based in truth but were really just cleverly disguised manifestations of fear, because if you do things then bad things might happen, but if you don’t do things then nothing bad happens, except that you ruin your own life. i knew all of this!! i could diagnose and analyze exactly how i was once again perpetuating the same anxiety-driven patterns that had governed so much of my life. i was conscious of the workings of my own unconscious. but i still couldn’t bring myself to send the fucking email. instead i was spending 16 hours a day alternately lying in bed and gingerly pacing in my apartment to regain mobility, feeling like shit about the fact that i wasn’t sending the email and also trying fruitlessly to unpack whatever was going on in chapter five.

the election came five days into this mess, and i did feel well enough to go work the polls. this was a great way to experience election 2020, by the way; i had to leave my apartment at like 3:30 in the morning and by the time the returns started coming in i was too delirious to have any emotions about them whatsoever. it was also, not to be a shill for electoral politics, genuinely kind of inspiring: all these people lining up to Do Democracy, the deployment of translators to assist across languages, the columbia undergrad from the neighborhood we were in i was paired with at the info desk who told me he wanted to go into politics and said very seriously, upon hearing i had a friend in the grad school there, “you should tell them to join the union.” plus, you know, the high of doing something, surrounded by other human beings, at a time when that sort of thing had been in short order for the work-from-home crowd for months, and i personally had recently been confined to my bed for several days.

leaving the site that night, entering my twentieth consecutive hour awake, i felt this weird mix of spiritually rejuvenated and psychologically worse. i had just lived through this physical proof of how doing things is both not that scary and kind of awesome, i had spent a day living in alignment with the kind of person i wanted to be, i felt a fresh rush of love for my city and its people — and i still couldn’t imagine sending the fucking email! it was like i was looking at the thing i wanted most through a pane of glass, and the glass was actually really easy to break, so the only thing stopping me was that i was too much of a baby to do it.

and the thought that i had then, i fucking swear, was: i would be such a fucking hypocrite if i wrote quentin coldwater into a happy ending i’m too cowardly to give myself.

which is, first of all: SOOOOOOOO corny, like omg. unbelievably cringe. embarrassing as hell. but it was also my truth at that moment in time. i had no faith in my own ability to change, but i had spent five months and counting thinking about almost nothing else except the story i was writing in which quentin also has no faith in his ability to change but is brave enough to do it anyway, and i really felt like — i could not live with myself putting these ideas out into the world and refusing to integrate them into my own life. i could not write this promise that something better was possible for quentin if i wasn’t even going to try to make it possible for me. i could, apparently, live forever with my constant self-sabotage, but i couldn’t live with myself making this story a lie (this story being, again, fanfiction for a TV show that was, at its best, so great, and also, at its worst, so, SO stupid).

and like… that worked. i emailed the documents the next day; i attended my first monthly zoom meeting that weekend, during which the election was officially called, which felt like a good omen. i summoned the idea that had presented itself to me that night — don’t be a hypocrite! do what you would want quentin to do! — again a while later when my email got lost in the shuffle and i had to send a check-in following up, and again every other time something came up where my fear had to war it out with my desire. (or, well, most other times — it's a work in progress, and yes, i do still find myself calling upon this logic to this day.)

my life now looks more like the happy ending i wrote quentin into than it did almost four years ago, when i started this story, or even three years ago, when i finished it. it looks more like that future than i ever imagined my life could look when i was writing it, and not just because, as i have mentioned before, a few weeks after my election night revelation, i did do as quentin did and befriend a community-minded extrovert who invited me to join a book club. even the fact that the final part of the epilogue has taken me so much longer than expected is a funny case of life imitating art, because while i have had work and illness and travel and general life stress, i have also had many days in the past few months where i was not very productive because i was simply too busy doing something fun — the kind of never-quite-solved balancing act quentin was set to deal with in the epilogue back when i first started kicking it around, well over two years ago at this point, but which was not really applicable to my own life until basically now. and it sounds even to my own ears so, so, so insane to say this, but it’s true: i can trace every aspect of that shift to the fact that i wrote this story, and that writing it fundamentally changed something inside me for the better. (shout-out to the people in the comments who noted that the story was, in a meta sense, my own version of quentin’s coffee maker; i knew you were right, but i don’t think i knew how right until this recent bout of reflection.)

i don't really know that there's a take-away here, because "quit your job and write four hundred thousand words about a weird TV show with a niche audience" is not exactly universally applicable advice. but if i were to try to find one, i think it would be something like: i felt really crazy and kind of embarrassed the entire time i was writing this story, not because i was writing fanfiction, or because it was incredibly horny and wildly self-indulgent, but because it mattered to me so, so deeply. it was one thing to have a fun goofy hobby, even a fun goofy hobby i took semi-seriously and poured a lot of time and effort into, but it was another to actually, like, care, and to care a lot, which i did. but if i hadn't accepted that this story mattered to me, i don't think it could have been as personally transformational as it wound up becoming. the heart wants what it wants, and you're only going to find out what that is if you're willing to listen to whatever rhythm it beats.

i solved chapter five on the way home from the poll site, by the way. i knew there needed to be some problem with quentin’s first semi-successful attempt to mend the coffee maker, but i couldn’t figure out how it tied in thematically with where he was in his life. on the bus it hit me: quentin and the coffee maker were both trying to remain unbreakable. an appealing idea if you’ve been broken, but one more conducive to stagnancy than to growth; you can stay there for a while, but eventually you need to let yourself want more.

[jinnie-ret]

oddinary house finale

vampire!jeongin x reader

genre: horror

content warnings: death, abuse, violence

word count: 4.1k

summary: y/n learns about how everyone arrived at Oddinary House after finally meeting 'Mr Yang', some bombshells being revealed along the way

so this is the final part of Oddinary House! I'm so thankful for everyone's support along the way as this is the first time I've indulged in writing horror. It's been so fun making this storyline and I'm glad you've all enjoyed it. This probably won't be the end of this series ;)

ODDINARY HOUSE MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

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He was charming in his nature, how he so elegantly leant back in his chair, one leg folded over the other as he tilted his head at her. His smug, teasing smirk rested on his face in a thin line, eyes squinting slightly with a quirked brow.

"Welcome, to Oddinary House, Y/N, glad to properly meet you, you certainly are a character, aren't you? He chuckles, making the others laugh, as they nodded their heads in agreement, glancing across at you.

You were speechless. Maybe it was from seeing all 8 of them in front of you, finally. All 8 of the residents right here. Or maybe it was the charisma he exuded, a clear controlling, leader-like role about him.

"I can see you're confused dear, but why? 'Mr Yang'? Oh come on, you must remember me from the letter that Changbin so cleverly conjured in your dreams," he chuckled, finding your frozen astonished figure quite amusing.

"Don't worry, Innie, she's done this with everyone," Changbin chuckled, brushing his fingers through your hair to rouse you out of your startled state. And oh, how your hair sparkled after, a golden hue to it.

"Oh well that doesn't surprise me," Mr Yang leans forwards, his long fingers wrapping around the glass that Felix had crafted for him, some... red wine(?) already poured for him.

"Why have I only met you now?" Y/N could barely keep eye contact with the man that sat at the head of the table, hands fidgeting with each other. Noticing her discomfort, and smelling it too, Minho rubbed his head against her shoulder soothingly, sending a glare to any of the boys that gave him a teasing look. He had certainly mellowed over the years they had all known each other.

"Don't get shy on me now, darling, you are very much meant to be here so I want you to be comfortable. As for meeting me, well, I wanted to see how you fit with everyone else. You've had quite the time here already," Mr Yang sincerely said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Mr Yang..." Y/N began before she was cut off.

"Call me Jeongin, no need for formalities," Jeongin nodded at her, looking down as he shook his head, already finding himself feeling fond of her.

"Right... Jeongin, I just, ok, it's nice to finally meet you," Y/N nodded over at him, a small smile on her face, feeling more relaxed now with the help of the other guys.

"Yah! That's not fair, she's so nice to you already, we didn't get that!" Jisung whined, leaning around Changbin with a pout.

"Jisung is feeling jealous," Chan robotically announced, as he analysed the chupacabra.

"Yah, Chan!" Jisung covered his face now, feeling embarrassed as everyone, Y/N included, giggled at his misfortune of being exposed like that.

"It's only natural, Jisungie," Jeongin laughed, swirling around his drink. And the man with chubby cheeks just leant back into his chair, laughing slightly now at the situation.

"So... Jeongin you're a, vampire right?" Y/N questioned, thinking about how he transformed right in front of her.

"Oh that's right," Jeongin out down his glass momentarily to applaud her with a mocking smile. "I have my stupid bat form, as you so nicely said," he chuckled afterwards.

"Ah, sorry," Y/N facepalmed, embarrassed at how she had insulted him before, unintentionally at least.

"Oh it's no trouble, god knows I've dealt with worse from this lot over the years," Jeongin sighed wistfully, a small smile on his face.

"How long exactly have you known each other?" Y/N asked curiously, from their banter she could tell they seemed pretty close.

"Ah, well, it depends, you see, some of us have known each other much longer than others," Jeongin nodded, sharing a nod across the table with Seungmin as they both grinned.

"Well, I'd be willing to listen, if you tell me. Felix told me some things but I know there must have been much more things that have happened in this house," Y/N leant forward in her chair, arms resting on the table as she looked around at everyone.

"Might asssss well put her out of her misssery," Hyunjin hissed with a giggle, startling Y/N, she had never seen this guy smile before.

"Get ready for a long history lesson, darling," Minho chuckled, leaning back in his chair. He himself had had this conversation with the boys, many years ago.

"Right well, I'll start, it only makes sense," Jeongin began to talk. "From the very start it was just me here with my family, hundreds of years ago now actually..."

"Hundreds of years?! You look about 22/23 years old to me!" Y/N gasped.

"He's a vampire, you silly," Seungmin shook his head with a laugh.

"Now now, I will take that as a compliment, I am actually 325 years old," Jeongin kindly informed her, before continuing his story. "I came from quite a rich bloodline of vampires, and so all that time ago, we bought this mansion. Miroh Mansion, I believe it was called back then, but that was when this city was still separated into districts..."

"Jeongin she won't care about the city history, she wants to know about us," Han groaned.

"Y/N is interested," Chan announced, once again, catching Jisung out.

"Yah why do you always do this to me?!" Jisung complained, keeping his head rested against the table.

"Stop being impatient Sungie, eventually we'll get to your part of the story," Changbin sarcastically coos over him, patting his head.

"Jeongin, carry on please," Y/N kindly nodded, and so the vampire continued.

"Yes, well, like I said it was just me and my family here for a while. There was around 5 generations of us here, I believe. And it was like that for a while, until we had found Seungmin in the lake outside, terrified," Jeongin gestured for Seungmin to continue.

"Rightfully so!" Seungmin held his hands up in defense. "It's not everyday that someone threatens to rip out your vocal cords just so they can have your voice!"

"They wanted to what?!" Y/N gasped, hand over her mouth as she processed the statement that just came out of the siren's mouth.

"Actually it did happen on a few occasions... but this was the worst one. Luckily I managed to flee my homeland and found Oddinary House, thanks to Jeongin and his father. Their family kept me protected, Y/N," Seungmin explained.

"We did. Nothing says leave someone alone like the threat of draining them of their lives. Although, I have to say, siren blood isn't my favourite," Jeongin pondered.

"What is your favourite then?" Y/N rose a brow, hoping he wouldn't say...

"Probably human blood," Jeongin admitted, laughing when he saw her face pale at the mention. "You needn't worry Y/N, that doesn't affect you."

"Right... Ok, so then what happened?" Y/N tried to brush off the fact that her blood was favourable, despite Jeongin's words of reassurement.

"Ah, yes. My father decided our house be a refuge point for creatures in danger. This house was always too big for just my family, it didn't hurt having others join and stay here," Jeongin explained.

"Wow, so that's how everyone ended up here? That's a good thing your family did, Jeongin," Y/N commended him.

"You're half right, it wasn't that easy though," Felix sighed, fiddling with his fingers.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Felix, is this when you lost your..."

"Yes, I'll let Jeongin explain that part. But, as you may remember I arrived here as part of my duty. I was sent to look after the vampires and heal them if they weren't drinking enough blood. And I helped Seungmin adjust to living here too, as well as a lot of new residents that the house looked after," Felix reflected on his old self, one that could heal others.

"Yes I do remember you saying that!" Y/N nodded. "How exactly did you lose your ability though?" she winced as she saw the downcast look on Felix's face.

"There was a big battle. The Battle of Yellow Wood, we call it. There was an opposing vampire clan that were closing in on us from the outside of the city. We lost a lot of our residents that day," Jeongin frowned, rubbing his chin.

"So all those new residents...?" Y/N trailed off, feeling sad for the losses this house had experienced.

"Gone, just like that," Seungmin confirmed, his expression mirroring Jeongin's.

"Every single vampire in the Yang clan, killed, heartlessly," Jeongin growled, hand tightening around the stem of his wine glass, Felix gently peeling his hand away, to soothe him but to also prevent his hard work from being broken. He spent a long time crafting the perfect glass.

"Oh, Jeongin, your family, your parents... I'm so sorry," Y/N felt herself getting upset for him.

"No need to apologise, Y/N it wasn't you that took them away from me," Jeongin straightened up in his chair, putting a smile back on his face.

"But Felix..."

"I really did try my best to heal others along the way. I was exhausted. Didn't get too lucky myself, I attempted to heal myself and well... it drained my magical core," Felix sniffled lightly. The memories always hurt whenever he thought back on them. He had lost a part of himself that day. Everyone had.

What was more shocking was how without looking, not that he really could, Hyunjin reached a hand around Seungmin to pat Felix on the back in support. No wonder Felix defended him, they must be quite close.

"Oh Felix..." Y/N pouted seeing him so sad.

"It was just the three of us left. We tried looking around to see if any of our residents, our friends, were still alive, but there was no hope. That was when me and Jeongin found Jisung," Seungmin continued, changing the topic away from Felix which the fairy certainly appreciated.

"That makes me sound like such a stray. But yeah... Jeongin and Seungmin found me after a ritual went wrong," Jisung bit his lip, blushing slightly feeling embarrassed. Minho laughed, knowing where this was going.

"A ritual went wrong? But you seemed to know what you were doing, it went well with me at least!" Y/N tried to make him feel better but he shrank into his seat even more.

"I tried to gain some powers to let me... aish, it's too embarrassing," Jisung whined.

"He tried to create and endless amount of cheesecake," Minho burst out into laughter, Y/N giggling with him too.

"Cheesecake is so good though," she laughed as she nodded along.

"Right! I just wanted to have it always there but yeah... I kinda forgot the right words and banished myself from my 'cabra pack," Jisung scratched his neck sheepishly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, that must have been hard," Y/N tried to sympathise but she still grinned at the thought of why things went the way they did.

"It's ok, wasn't the worst, I wasn't really close to anyone in the pack, I prefer my own space. It was more getting used to this world which was difficult," Jisung shrugged.

"That's why we took him in, let him stay here. He really didn't have a clue what was going on," Seungmin smirked.

"Felix said something about Jisung doing a ritual to keep him alive?" Y/N remembered what else Felix had told her.

"Yes, we put our trust in Jisung to keep Felix alive, we didn't want to lose him too," Jeongin nodded, "but we made sure he knew what he was saying this time. Otherwise we could have had a cheesecake fairy on our hands."

Everyone laughed at that.

"Now we have a brownie fairy instead," Chan humanely laughed, the thought of Felix's baking skills made something light up in his brain.

"Oh I love brownies!" Y/N cheered loudly, some of the guys wincing at how loud it was but they didn't say anything, just smiled at her enthusiasm.

"I'll make some soon, give you a proper welcoming," Felix grinned back at her excitedly.

"Thanks!"

"After that, with it being the 4 of us, I swore to carry on my father's legacy, to make this a safe place for those who were lost," Jeongin continued.

"Wow! So who did you meet next?" Y/N rested her head on her hand.

"It wasss me, dear," Hyunjin smirked, before he soon wore his cold expression again.

"How did you, find your way here?" Y/N wondered out loud.

"Issss that a blind joke?" Hyunjin teased, pretending to be mad.

"N-no, just ummm, wondering..." Y/N froze, not wanting to anger Hyunjin or get on his wrong side again.

"Do not fret, you already passsssed my tessst," Hyunjin laughed at her. "I arrived here to ssseek refuge, just like they offered. I had no place, people usssed to treat me a certain way for my lookssss, and sssince my eyessss were forcefully taken, I wasss desssired lessss so. I prefer it that way, people are ssssso ssssshallow."

"I wish I could have healed you and let you see again, you know that right?" Felix leant back in his seat to see Hyunjin's face.

"Don't worry, little fairy, I am content asssss I am," Hyunjin nodded.

"Next it was me who arrived," Changbin spoke up from next to Y/N.

"Really?" Y/N asked.

"Why so shocked?" Changbin held a hand over his heart, feigning offense.

"I just thought you'd be busy with your duties of bringing dreams to everyone, that's all," Y/N shrugged, tracing patterns of golden dust on the table.

"Busy, I was. I was just so well sought after by the guys here," the sandman proudly smirked, sticking out his chest as he folded his arms.

"You give yourself too much credit," Seungmin waved him off.

"He had spent a lot of time here before moving in. Us monsters... We come with a lot of baggage, memories that creep up on us in the night. Changbin helped us..." Jeongin trailed off, looking at Y/N and hoping she'd realise.

"Just like he helped me..."

"That's right," Changbin patted her hand once more, thinking it was sweet that she was now so relaxed in their presence that she was doodling little pictures.

"Albeit was quite creepy, seeing you loom over Hyunjin like that when I met you," Jeongin said quite frankly.

"Yeah, you perv," Hyunjin joked, his pronged tongue sticking out between his lips.

"Yah!" Changbin whined, kicking the basilisk under the table.

"Changbin thinks he is not a pervert. He just thinks Hyunjin is very handsome and funny," Chan's face shifted into a smile as he analysed Changbin this time, and not Jisung.

"See! Now you know how it feels!" Jisung stood up and ruffled Changbin's hair smugly.

"Yeah, yeah... well I decided it would make more sense for me to stay here as my base, and then I leave in the night once everyone here is asleep," Changbin shrugged.

"It does make sense, being on the outskirts of the city here, it's a good place," Y/N nodded.

"Then I came along, that's why you're so graced in my presence, dear," Minho scratched under Y/N's chin, bringing her attention to him.

"Here we go..." Seungmin muttered, looking done with life as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"There was someone from the Yellow Wood clan still alive," Jeongin pitched in, giving some context before Minho could continue bragging, "they knew I was still alive. They wanted to finish the job."

"Finish the job? Oh lord..." Y/N shook her head, realising just how much this group had been through.

"The lord wouldn't have been much help, good thing I decided I wanted to live here otherwise Seungmin would have been a nice big of fried fish," Minho teased the siren.

"Call me a fish one more time-"

"Silence," Jeongin quietened them down immediately. "Explain properly, Minho, maybe without your biased perspective, this time."

"Fine," the werewolf rolled his eyes. "I had been trying to sus out if this place was safe or not, and I was here on the right night. That last vampire from the Yellow Wood clan absolutely reeked of death, I knew he was up to no good. He came through the back way of the garden and I saw straight away he spotted Seungmin."

"Smelt of... death?" Y/N shuddered, her nose scrunched up at the thought. "Wait, what do I smell like?"

"Hmmm," Minho sniffed the air for a moment, "not of a lot actually, but kind of earthy, I'd say."

"Earthy?" Y/N didn't expect it but nodded anyways.

"... but as I was saying, I could tell he had bad intentions, and I knew Seungmin was one of the good ones. I did what any normal being would do," Minho left the answer hanging in the air.

"And that was...?" Y/N shifted her body towards him, wanting to know.

"Tore his body to bits. That was the end of the Yellow Wood clan," Minho bared his sharp, pearly canines as he grinned.

"So that means the last person to arrive was..." Y/N turned to Bang Chan who was at the end of the table.

"You are correct. It was me," Chan nodded statically. "These guys saved me."

"Our Chan can be so cheesy," Jeongin chuckled, looking over at the cyborg sat at the other end of the table, watching as his eyes glowed trying to retrieve the memories he had pushed so far back.

"I was experimented on by a group of mad scientists. They wanted a robot who would think like a human. Instead I am a human who thinks like a robot," Chan soulessly explained.

"Oh Chan," Y/N sighed sadly at what happened to him.

"He does have his human side come out in him sometimes though," Jeongin added.

"So you're human too, Chan?" Y/N asked him, feeling nice she could relate to someone in that sense. Perhaps she'd have to ask him about his life before, if he was comfortable with it.

"Human too? Variables in front of me are not valid. I was human. You are-" Chan rambled, before Hyunjin whacked him on the metal part of his head to stop him talking.

That must have been why they thought to take her in, right? If it was initially a place for monsters to seek refuge, and they helped Chan who was half human, they must have thought it was acceptable to help her out after seeing her past.

"So that's why I'm here, right? Because you saw I needed help. Because I'm human too, like Chan sort of is..." Y/N looked around at all of them for some help to her questions.

"Y/N is a banshee," Chan spoke before anyone had the chance to stop him from talking again.

"Chan!" Jeongin facepalmed seeing Y/N freeze in shock at the statement.

"We weren't going to tell her yet, bro," Jisung covered his eyes, unable to watch.

Y/N couldn't believe it. She wanted to think it was some sort of prank but she knew Chan enough by now that he saw what he saw, and he was never wrong. But... a banshee? She knew what it was, of course she did. It just didn't make sense. All her life she assumed she was normal, she didn't even really think monsters existed fully until she met the guys at the house.

Minho subtly released some of his calming pheromones to soothe the increasingly stressed girl from beside him. Not that she'd know he did anyways, but it would help. From the other side of Y/N, Changbin rubbed her back with one hand, the other braced against his satchel in case she got too panicked and he needed to send her into a sleep.

"A banshee?" Y/N gasped.

"Please, don't worry," Felix sadly watched her.

"B-but... how? I dont-" Y/N tripped over her words, not fully understanding.

"We'll explain for you, ok? We didn't want to tell you now and overwhelm you with information but..." Jeongin sighed, slightly frustrated because they had all just told her about their own backstories, and now she was here learning her truth.

"I knew were different since the first time I passed by your house, Y/N," Changbin rested his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently to bring her attention to him. "You were a young, scared kid, and I heard your cries. They were not that of a human."

"How long have you known me for?" Y/N blinked her tears away, turning to him.

"Perhaps longer than I have known these guys right here. Certainly longer than I have known Chan," Changbin stated, lips pressed together in thought.

"You knew me when I was a kid... So you... You really do know everything, don't you?" Y/N shook her head, trying to stop her memories from surfacing.

"We all know," Jisung peered his head round at Y/N, sending her a sad smile.

"I was there, on duty, on the night of your mother's passing," Changbin tried to say gently, Y/N squeezing her eyes shut at the dark memories that swarmed her mind. "Do you... do you want me to stop?"

Y/N rubbed her temples, getting a headache from this information but she wouldn't let herself stop there. She needed to know.

"No, I... I need to know," she wiped her tears away.

"Ok, if you're sure.." Changbin waited for her to nod again before he continued. "I stopped by your house, normally you would be asleep by this time I'd come to see you, but you were curled up in bed, keening."

"Keening? What's that?" Y/N was confused.

"Keening is a habit that banshees do when... they sing a song before someone dies."

"Oh god..." Y/N covered her mouth. That night, that fateful night her mother was killed by her monster of a father, she had been singing her mother's favourite song to block out all the screams and cries from her mind. She hadn't known it was because she was a banshee. She didn't know it was a clear sign when she had been... keening. She should have known.

"Sit," Minho brought her to sit back down in her chair, nosing at her neck comfortingly. The girl hadn't even realised she stood from the nausea of her realisation.

"I thought... I thought it happened in the morning. I didn't dare leave my room. I didn't know when I was humming to myself that it would happen in that moment," Y/N cried into her hands, shoulders lifting as she sniffled and took in some breaths.

"That's exactly it, dear, you weren't to know," Jeongin shook his head. Everyone had a story.

"You were so connected to my singing, but you were able to withstand it. Normally any human wouldn't be able to leave the trance for a while. But you broke out of it," Seungmin quietly spoke up from opposite her, reaching his hands across to grasp hers gently.

"Because of my... k-keening, right?" Y/N shakily asked, coming to terms as more and more details made sense.

"Exactly," Felix smiled at her, some pride in his eyes as she was beginning to understand who she was.

"How do you guys even know so much about banshees?" Y/N pulled her hands away from the siren to wipe her eyes.

"We've seen a lot of them in our time here, dear," Jeongin spoke softly.

There was a reason for everything. She was never truly scared to come to Oddinary House. Perhaps it was because the true monsters in her life weren't those different beings sat in front of her, but the ones who were closest to her. Her father. The things that knew her the best, the thoughts in her mind.

"So, what do you say, banshee? You make us stay. You're the reason we want to help others, help them escape. To find safe places like here," Jeongin wanted to truly know if she was comfortable here, if she wanted to remain living with them as they help her understand who she is.

Y/N took in a deep breath, looking around at everyone she was sat with, the ones who she had met and some misjudged. The cyborg, the werewolf, the sandman, the basilisk, the chupacabra, the fairy, the siren and of course the head of house, the vampire.

"I'll stay."

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @amararosesblog @ikykwkleeknoww @lixie-phoria @briqnne

[bitchlessdino]

so happy that i saw that ur recs r open bc for some reason i thought they were closed which was sad. bc i literally love ur writing and ur so good and making me feel like i’m actually in the situation you’re describing like ur my idol i swear. anyways i digress, could you please write me a smut with cheol? honestly any set up you want and any kinks you want. bc tbh anything you write i love no matter what it is. bless yo soul 🙏🙏🫶❤️

Pairing: seungcheol x afab!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 2k

tags: brief teacher!cheol, neighbor au, fwb au, lingerie (as well mentions of the destruction of it), rough sex, choking, doggy style, daddy kink, marking, oral (recieving and giving), spitting

Summary: Welcome to the five tip guide on being neighborly! We hope this helps you get on friendly terms with the people you see everyday!

author note: I shouldn't be anyone’s idol lol but thank you 🥺. I've done so much to this that you might get whiplash tbh

1. Always greet your neighbor

You glance back at him as he ruffles through his mail, likely looking for something urgent or maybe a new event flyer to pique any interest. You can see his eyes turn up in the corner, returning your gaze, a grin tugging his cheeks harder as he greets you with a simple, “Afternoon.”

“Good afternoon to you,” you greet back, you scanned his figure up and down, taking in his laid-back work attire. From the beige dress shirt untucked from his slacks to the usually smooth pressed tie dangling loosely from his neck, that is only possible after a long day at work, but how could that be? It was only 3 pm. “Short work day?”

“It was a parent teacher conference day. Kids left early, and we teachers talk to parents for a few hours then leave on the dot. How about you? Why are you home early?”

“Working from home today. Remembered to get mail. Got lucky that I got to see you.”

His ears perk up at the word. “Lucky? You got something to do with me?” 

It’s funny how he could say that with a straight face. 

You shake your head grinning. “No. Just nice to see one of my favorite neighbors.”

He chuckles, “Pleased to know I’m a favorite. KKuma misses you by the way.”

“Kkuma? Just Kkuma?” You ask with a raised brow, a Cheshire smile dangles off your face, tucking the bundle under your arm.

Your anticipation was evident on your face. Seungcheol could play this cleverly or like he always does: with a stupid smile on his face.

“Well,” he cheekily grins, pretending to shuffle through his mail, “not just Kkuma.”

You press your legs together in restraint, holding yourself back from taking a step further, knowing well there was plenty of time in the rest of your day. “I’ll see you ‘round, Cheol.”

“I’m betting on it.”

2. Always call ahead before visiting: 

Seungcheol lingered on your mind for quite a while, picturing his bare broad shoulders facing you as he faced the sunrise from your fire escape, only wearing a pair of gray sweatpants. You hum at the internal image in delight, leaning on the kitchen counter in longing, wishing and dreaming it was replaced by something much warmer. 

You immediately think to text him, ask him what his plans are with all that free time, and are waiting for the other line to respond, luckily sooner than you expected. The nickname you have for him pops up as well a timid smile on your face reading out his message:

Kkumas Daddy: no but I bet you have a few ideas

Your teeth meet your bottom lip with interest, thinking about what to type out. Your thumbs scale the bright screen across the keyboard before you could stop yourself. Blood rushing to heat your cheeks and hitting send almost too soon, not even worrying about the possible typos you made.

You: maybe I do. I could tell you unless you want me to show you

You shut your eyes, clutching the electronic device, quietly praying that you read the room right. It’s a few seconds later, your phone plays a text tone and you open to read what he responds back with.

Kkumas Daddy: well I wouldnt be against it

You scrambled in your closet to pick out a pretty set, letting the straps tug against your body in a flattering way before snapping a few photos, picking out the best one, and sending it to him. You hands were practically shaking. It had been so long since you go to do this. You felt sexy, wanted, invigorated; all by the same man.

Seungcheol finds the notification immediately, throat running dry at how pretty you look in red lace, hand automatically falling to the erection in his sweats. He palms himself, thinking of fucking the daylights out of you, seeing the tears fall from your eyes when you scream how good he feels in you. He could get himself off just thinking about it. He struggles to respond with one hand, lightly relieving himself simultaneously. 

Kkumas Daddy: You knew just what i want to see

Kkumas Daddy: You put that on just for me?

Kkumas Daddy: I hope you don’t mind me ripping it open to get to what’s underneath

Your arousal was practically pooling between your legs, having you clench around nothing, you think about him ruining you perfectly against your fresh sheets or face down on the kitchen counter. No matter how many pieces of lingerie you would go through, he’d rip it like disposables and you’d be split in half, practically shaking with the cum spilling out of you.

You:  You better come over then before I decide on taking it off

Kkumas Daddy: Not without me you won’t

3. If you ask for a favor, like borrowing a cup of sugar, always thank them: 

“T-thank you, daddy,” You barely utter as Seungcheol ruts you over the arm of your couch.

He did good on his word when he came over. In little to no time, he’s made himself home, closing the door behind him, attaching his lips to yours, and pulling off your cardigan to reveal the lingerie set he only saw in your messages. He’s groaning over your lips, curling a fist to the small of your back. “You’re body is fucking absurd in this. Shit.”

His hand traces your frame, brushing his fingers over your erect nipples through the lace covering them, and hoists you up to wrap your legs around his torso. Things only went up from there as his reliably strong build handles you like a rag doll and he takes you to the living room to fuck you open.

He holds you by your hair, ass in the air with help of the couch and he can barely hear your thanks through the violent sound of skin slapping and your vicious moisture. “You gotta be louder than that for me to hear you, pretty thing.”

You could hear the arrogant smile in his tone, as well as the breathlessness he exhibits. He manages to slow down his pace, teasing you to get your voice a chance, but the slippery suction of his cock going in and out of you still haunts your ears. “Thank you so much, daddy…you make me feel so full.”

He picks up his speed, squeezing the flesh of your cheeks in gratitude. “You like taking my cock? You’re so fucking good at it. Your little hole is practically perfect for taking it deep.”

“Yes!” You answer enthusiastically, nails digging into the scratchy tweed cushions. “It’s so…b-big and…f-fucks me…so good.”

He places a hand over your neck, pulling you up to have your bare back meet his bare chest, bottoming out inside you, and holding back your oxygen. Your eyes flutter at this sensation, hands gripping the couch arm desperately to ground yourself, vision blurring from lack of and you incessant tears. His tongue runs up the back of your neck, a slobber trail left on your skin before he’s sucking down the skin of your jaw, triggering something in you that made your body restless. You could feel your arousal drip so far past your knees.

“Fuck, daddy!” you cry out rather loudly, his warm chuckles tickling your skin soon after. 

The pads of his fingers press deeper into the base of your neck. His teeth bit down on the patch of skin he caught and marking you a pretty darker shade. “Look, I just made you a little prettier.

4. Lend a hand when you can: 

Seungcheol’s full length slides in your mouth and down your throat so effortlessly. He shut his eyes at the tight sensation and your drool dripping down his shaft until it reaches his lap. You bob your head, looking at him wide-eyed and needy; all signs pointing to your cock thirst. He groans watching your efforts, feeling himself hit the back of your throat euphorically.

“What a perfect little mouth. Does daddy taste good, baby?”

You moan a ‘yes,’ vibrating around his cock and his precum coating your tongue. Your lips hug around his girth, glossy and perfect, looking the prettiest sucking his dick. He thought about this all the time when he was alone, ecstatic to have it back.

“God,” He takes your hair in fists, “Your mouth is a dream…”

He pushes your head down in aid, moving you to his preferred pace, his hips thrusting in your mouth. The sound you make was nothing short of melodic. From the gag of your mouth to the slick moisture that echoed throughout the room, he felt like he could leave this world happy with your mouth full of his cum.

“S-shit.” He overexerts himself, pumping a hot load directly down your mouth and it leaks past your lips, dribbling down your chin like melted ice scream.

You pull him out of you with a gasp, coughing for air, half of the cum in your mouth swallowed down or trailing down your chest. 

“Did I hurt you?” a brief look of concern washes over his face.

You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, smiling manically. “Yes, but I liked it.”

5.Make sure to leave a lasting good impression: 

Seungcheol spits in his hands before running a finger down your slit, edging you with a tired grin on his face, your whines becoming his theme music. “Daddy please…”

“You’re so wet. My fingers got dirty so fast from you.” He pushes two digits in, making themselves him and adjusting the rhythm in which they move to see how loud you can really get. “Gotta push all this cum back in you. Can’t waste any of it, you know.”

Knuckles deep, he curls his fingers, thumb pressing into your clit in his intervals of rubbing. You squirm under his touch, crying out his name like a mantra, pushing the back of your head deep into the couch cushions. His face buries between your legs, spitting inside your hole, and letting his tongue join his fingers. It circles inside you, fucking you just as good as his fat length would. He lapped you up like liquid gold, blessing his mouth and throat with the pleasure of your climax. 

You savor the experience, watching tufts of his hair flying all over the place, and his cheeks damp with the result of you cumming two or more times today. There wasn’t a better image you could think of replaying in your head after this is all over. “Daddy, your mouth…cumming…”

You warn him too late as it’s already gushing out of you, he smiles in your warm, no doubt staining your couch in all kinds of fluid. He picks himself up and kisses your lips, the reminisce of today sweet and salty on both your tongues. When Seungcheol parts from you, you could focus on hearing each other pants, the pounding in either one’s chest, and the warmth of his flushed and tired body as he envelopes you in an embrace, pulling you into his lap as he rests against the couch. 

“That…” he gasps, “was fucking crazy. Why don’t we fuck like that anymore?”

You laugh through your nose, resting your head on the crook of his neck. “You were dating someone that wasn’t me.”

He sighs, eyes boring into the dim light of the common area, before slowly closing them shut, “Right.”

You twiddle with your fingers, their tingling sensation nagging at you to work up the nerve to finally say it. Your eyes sporadically blink both in fatigue and anxiety. You decide to embrace his broad back, exhaling through your nose in a calm breath. 

“I was thinking. Maybe instead of, I don’t know, casual sex, we could…Cheol?”

He was long gone. His snores leave his nostrils as soon as air enters, tranced in a deep slumber. You sigh, bitterly gazing back at him and thinking about what’s never to come. But hey, at least you’re good neighbors. He’d never let you forget that. 

[2smolbeans]

Yandere Grand Admiral Leviathan falling in love with a fellow sailor headcanons

Tags: Male reader, Implied nsfw, blackmailing, major power dynamic, mentions of tortured 'enemies', attempted escape, Male Mc, Dom grand Admiral Leviathan.

______________________

The moment your admiral had an infatuation with you, it was over. You tried to resign. Hell knows you tried to quit the navy as soon as you figured out how your admiral was stalking you.

But you couldn’t. Everyone in the navy already knew about their captain's feelings towards you. As if wrapping you nicely as a gift to their leader, you were forced to stay in the navy.

"Come on man, if we let you go, Leviathan sir will definitely stake our asses onto the poles! You think we want that?! No. Now get back to work pal."

You tried leaving the navy by force. Climbing over walls, purposely avoiding work, even walking through the tunnels that lead to the centeral town. But no matter what, your subordinates would always find you, putting you back in your place before reporting back to their duties.

During this time, Leviathan hadn't made any direct moves. Only watching you from the distance while you mopped the deck floors. Eying you up and down while you interacted with the other sailors for work related reasons. You weren’t paranoid. You weren't overthinking things when you claimed that you were the admiral's next victim. You thought that Leviathan wanted you dead, that for some unknown reason, you had upset him, and now the avatar of envy wants you demolished. That his obession for you was the result of pure hatred.

Why else would he always be so close to you? His tail always wrapping around your leg while his clawed hands would tightly grip onto your shoulders within every given chance? Whispering on how good you are, how irreplaceable you are, even though you hadn't done anything extraordinary. He was merely playing with you, wasn't he? Using sacarasm as a way to warn you of your future demise, right?

He wants you gone. Oh fuck he wants you to scream in agony just like the demons he puts on display. You were so horrified, you nearly threw up when Leviathan had personally dragged you to an empty room- demanding you come to his personal quarters when nighttime struck.

You had no choice but to obey him when he gave you those orders. When the time came, you forced your feet to walk to the office, dreading every moment as you could already picture what Leviathan had in store for you.

So when you had walked into that room, that small claustrophobic room, you couldn't help but sink when he flashed a grin at you. His teeth beeming back at you when you dared to look at him.

When the two of you were finally alone, Leviathan motioned you to come closer to where he was sitting. So you did. But it wasn't enough. He wanted you CLOSER. Now you stood there, faces nearly inches away from each other as he had a hand rubbing and smoothing out the arch of your back.

"I'm sure you're aware how I feel about you. Aren't you, my little sailor?"

You nearly teared up. You felt his tail slowly travel to your chest, almost touching your neck. Immediately, you began apologizing for your actions. For whatever reason, you seemed to upset him. For Leviathan to spare you, to show you mercy, to forgive you for angering him.

You just wanted to be safe, to just live peacefully, to not go through the eternal damnation you were blessed to avoid. You begged and begged, clasping your hands together as you looked at him with those pitiful eyes of yours.

He didn't say anything, only now playing with the collar of your uniform as he debated what to say with his words. Cleverly, he sighed as he slowly pulled you onto his lap, using his fingers to wipe away your tears.

"You annoyed me. Talking to others, distracting yourself from the work I provided you with. Taking advantage of the wonderful opportunity I gave you working at my navy..."

"You upset me. If I wanted to, I could put you down like the rest.."

"But since you're happily willing..I can forgive you..Only if you earn it."

"You want to earn your captain's forgiveness, don't you? Good, now sit still and do as I say."

.

.

.

"Good boy~"

.

.

.

_________________________

[starlightrosa]

LEE JAX lers pomni and rags pleaseee ur fics are amazing

Jax's Downfall

Summary: Jax has played one too many mean pranks, and Pomni wants revenge.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Rather intense tickles, Jax is an asshole but he gets his just desserts, swearing (haha censored though)

A/N: Jay! Thank you for the wait! And I'm happy to hear that you like my work! I'm sorry you have had to wait so long, but I do hope this one is good. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jax snickered to himself as he hid in the corner of his room. It was rather early in the Digital Circus today. While everyone was still asleep, Jax had found the key to Pomni’s room. Pomni was relatively new to the circus still, having been only there for a couple days. What kind of person would Jax be if he didn’t give the new girl a nice housewarming present, right?

Except the housewarming present may or may not have been a sack full of cockroaches. And maybe Jax knew that Pomni had a fear of cockroaches. Apparently the little jester hated the way they moved.

Jax had also been extra kind and put cleverly made fake cockroaches around as well, so the jester would have a hard time telling which roaches were real, and which were not. Jax giggled to himself as he heard the noises of Pomni stirring awake. He didn’t even need to check if his prank had gone to plan, as he heard a hair-raising shriek from behind the door.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! THERE’S COCKROACHES EVERYWHERE! NO, GET AWAY! EW!”

Jax slammed his hand over his mouth and he snickered as Ragatha raced into Pomni’s room and got her out. Caine popped into view, rubbing his eyes.

“Pomni, its most early…” Caine complained, but then he saw all the cockroaches and both sets of teeth that also made up his head comically fell open. “Oh goodness.”

Ragatha hurried Pomni out of the roach-filled room and consoled her. “Hey, hey. Pomni, calm down. I don’t know how they got in there. Don’t worry, we’ll get rid of them all.”

“Hey. Bugs matter just as much, you know.” Jax cut in with a drastic eye-roll. Ragatha sent Jax a look. Oh, if looks could kill, Jax would be a pile of bones by now. Her eyes were hateful, as she comforted Pomni.

“Jax, what the (HONK!) is wrong with you? Why would you do that to Pomni?!” Ragatha accused. Jax scoffed and held his hands up.

“Don’t be blaming me, Ragdoll. I didn’t do anything.”

Caine went closer to that door. “Well, I’ll put this right in a jiffy.” the ringleader responded. One simple click of his fingers and these digital bugs, both fake and real, disappeared at one simple snap, making their little chirping noises even as they dissolved into pixels.

“Thank you, Caine.” Pomni murmured, even as she pressed closer to Ragatha, the jester refusing to look at her room even as the last roach disappeared. She had woken up to find one of those on her bed. Granted, it was a fake one. But then she looked up and saw real, moving ones, which had caused her initial scream.

“No problem, Pomni. Well, I’m off to touch some grass.” Caine excused, the ringleader vanishing with a pop. Jax scoffed and walked by Ragatha, who still sent the lilac bunny a very angry look indeed. He bent down to Pomni’s level, whispering into her ear.

“You know, Pomni… fun fact. Female roaches can lay eggs after like sixty days.” Jax teased, loving Pomni’s whimper of fear as he left. God, he loved messing with her.

Pomni growled once Jax had left. “Ugh… I hate him so much.”

“So do I, Pomni. I don’t know why he’s the way that he is.” Ragatha said, doing her best to sympathise with the upset jester. Jax was unfortunately like this. Just the other week, he had done a similar prank to Ragatha, only with centipedes, which happened to be Ragatha’s fear. Seems she and Pomni were on quite a similar wavelength in regards to their fears.

“I want to get him back.” Pomni hissed, at her wits end with this stupid rabbit.

Ragatha wasn’t sure. Turning the other cheek sounded like a better option, but Jax was the kind of person to never get bored, and his pranks tended to become much more mean if he got a reaction he didn’t want, as it was blatantly obvious that because of life in the circus, Jax either had little or no regard of consequence coming to pay its dues to him.

“I want to do that as well. But we don’t even know how to get him back.” Ragatha reasoned. But Pomni was dead set on paying the rabbit back, and then some.

“Then we ask Caine. Let’s go.” Pomni said, leaving no room for excuses as the two girls ran off to go find the ringleader.

Caine was outside the tent with Bubble. He was doing what he said, at least. His mismatched eyes were on the lush, digitally-created green grass, and his gloved hand was stroking up and down the green blades, them swaying softly in the wind.

“Caine.”

The ringleader looked up to see Pomni. She looked most irritable, and her arms were crossed.

“Pomni, dear. What’s wrong?” Caine asked. Pomni sighed, one hand twirling at the stray strands of hair under her hat.

“Jax has been playing such horrible pranks. I want to get him back.” Pomni stated, looking at the ringleader, even as he played with the blades of grass idly as he listened to Pomni air out her singular grievance against Jax. Oddly refreshing, considering that the other members must have had a list of grievances against Jax that was about three miles long by now.

“Hmm. Well, I suppose there is one way that you could pay Jax his dues. I found out some rather valuable information about Jax, and he doesn’t know that I know. Care for me to spill the tea, as it were? Though I don’t really have tea. Just a teacup.” Caine rambled, a flowery teacup popping into his hands. Caine pretended to drink tea from it to sell the illusion.

Pomni grinned as she nodded her head. “Spill, Caine. Spill every drop of information.”

Caine chuckled. “Well, Jax is actually rather ticklish. More than he wishes to admit. If you give him a good tickle, he should back off for a little.”

Oh, Caine had just helped Pomni strike a gold mine head-on. She smiled, an evil glint in her eye. “Oh, Caine. I don’t think you know how happy I am right now. Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome, my dear. Oh, and Jax can’t stand nibbles on his stomach.” Caine added.

Pomni rubbed her hands together, the way a cartoonish villain would. She chuckled lowly as she began to plot with Ragatha.

“We have our plan. Ragatha, you’re gonna help me.” Pomni said.

“Sure. Jax has been more annoying than usual. I’d like to see him laid out and screaming like a baby while we tickle him to tears.” Ragatha stated, winking her real eye as her button eye focused upon Pomni, content to listen to the jester explain her plan.

Pomni chuckled a little mischievously, as she and Ragatha assumed their places. They waited in Jax’s room, because Jax had so foolishly left his door unlocked while he went to go wreak havoc on Gangle again.

Gangle’s muffled cries were cut short at the snarky laughter of Jax slowly growing louder as the rabbit walked back to his room and closed his door. Perfect. Ragatha and Pomni took their chance and they both jumped on Jax.

Jax shrieked like a little girl as he was taken to the floor. Ragatha gathered Jax’s wrists and yanked them sharply above his head as Pomni straddled his waist, and she smirked down at him.

“What the (HONK)?! Pomni, get off! You little-!” Jax yelled, trying to struggle, but then Pomni traced Jax’s underarms. Jax clamped his mouth shut faster than he ever had, trying to swallow down the laughter steadily rising in his chest.

“A little birdie told me you were ticklish, Jaxie-Paxie.” Pomni cooed, the jester never losing that mischievous look.

“Jaxie-Paxie? Oh, cohohoHOHOHOME OHOHOHON! P-POHOHOHOHOMNI!!”” Jax deadpanned, but then his sarcastic remark was cut off by a loud shriek and laughter as Pomni stuck her hands in Jax’s armpits and started off tickling.

“Yes, Jax?” Pomni asked, in a sickly sweet tone that made Jax squirm. But Jax couldn’t even say anything, overwhelmed by laughter as he couldn’t even wriggle, Ragatha holding him down easily like he weighed nothing.

“POHOHOMNI, STOHOHOHOP!!” Jax wailed, the rabbit’s legs kicking as he tried to find purchase to escape the jester and her tickles. But there was nowhere to go, and not like Ragatha would let him get very far.

“Stop? Aw, but I barely started!” Pomni responded, moving her hands slower than a snail’s pace to Jax’s stomach, pulling his shirt up.

“WAHAHAHAIT, WAHAHAIT! NOT THERE, POHOHOMNI!” Jax begged. He hated how ticklish he was sometimes, especially when other people found out about it. Well, hate may have been quite a strong word. Like hell he would tell anyone how he really felt about getting tickled, though.

“Not here? But why, Jax?” Pomni asked.

“B-Becahahause no!” Jax lamely responded through his laughter.

But Pomni didn’t listen and vibrated her fingers into Jax’s stomach. Jax had no chance at resisting, as that was his number one tickle spot. He fell into loud, wheezing cackles near-instantly.

“NOOOOOOHOHOHOHO!!! ST-STOHOHOHOP IHIHIHIT! THAHAHAT TIHIHIHICKLES, POHOHOMNI!”

“Aww, is the wittle wabbit all ticklish on his tummy-wums? Ohh, poor baby.” Pomni teased, not letting up on her tickles one bit. She grinned, letting Jax see her teeth. “Such delicious giggles, little bunny-bun. I’m hungry for laughter. And I think I could go for a snack~”

Pomni dipped her head down and began to softly scrape her teeth against the ticklish skin. Jax screamed and thrashed at the feeling, loud and boisterous laughter leaving him.

“Just give it up, Jax. Let me hear them giggles.” Pomni encouraged, before going right back to nibbling Jax’s belly, and Ragatha laughed along with Jax. This was the best entertainment Jax was involved in, by far.

Jax screamed and wailed like a baby as his legs kicked out. Pomni was so mean.

“Have you learned your lesson yet?” Ragatha asked. Jax cried out as Pomni was now kneading Jax’s stomach with her fingers.

“NOHOHOHOHO!!” Jax screamed, but Ragatha tutted from above him.

“You haven’t? Oh, dear. Well, you need another lesson. Pomni, give him some good raspberries.” Ragatha instructed. Jax swore he saw God for a minute.

“NOHOHOHO! DOHOHOHON’T YOU (HONK)ING DARE!” Jax yelled. Once again, Pomni didn’t listen as she ducked her head down and her lips met Jax’s stomach as she inhaled and blew a raspberry right over his bellybutton. Jax shrieked at such a high pitch, that if the circus tent had windows, Ragatha was pretty sure that Jax would have shattered the glass.

And Pomni didn’t stop there. She blew smaller raspberries and moved her ticklish little raspberries all over Jax’s tummy. By the time she had enough, tears were flowing down Jax’s face as Ragatha finally released his hands. The girls chuckled as they high fived each other. Jax held his stomach with one hand as he pressed the other against his mouth to muffle his remaining giggles.

“Don’t you dare prank me like that again.” Pomni said, as she and Ragatha left him to his own devices. Jax watched them go as he flopped back on his bed. Jax made a note in his head even as his exhaustion from such intense tickles took him to a nice nap.

Way more roaches in Pomni’s room next time.

[queen-of-reptiles]

𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙽𝚂𝙵𝙴𝚁

description: In which Marie Hobinger's partner enjoys the thrill of surprising her lover after leaving Bayern Munich for her.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

marie hobinger x female reader

disclaimer: I am in now way saying marie is bi-sexual or lesbian, this is all fiction

warnings: language, bad google translations and, slight angst, also just fluff

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y/n just posted

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tagged fcbfrauen

y/n Danke Bayern für die Jahre, die du mir geschenkt hast. Ich liebe euch alle. ❤️

thank you Bayern for the years you have me. I love you all.

view 18, 098 comments

username1: Nein! Ich werde sie so sehr vermissen! 😭

no! I will miss her so much!

username2: I wonder where she is going next?? 🧐

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username3: There is a rumour of Real!

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username4: there is also rumours of an English side!

stanwaygeorgia: Gonna miss you mate !! Zeigen Sie ihnen, wie es geht! 🩷

show them how it's done!

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y/n: Gonna miss you more G! Ich werde dich beobachten! 🩷

I'll be watching you

manuela_zinsberger: Hmmm, ich frage mich, wohin du gehst ... 😶

hmmm, wonder where you're going...

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y/n: shhhhhh 🤫🤫

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username5: omg maybe she is coming to Arsenal!!!

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username6: But isn't she also really close with Marie Hobinger who plays for Liverpool?

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username7: True!!!

marie_hoeb: Where are you in the second photo? 🤨

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y/n: lying on the floor behind them, too tired to get up 😊

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marie_hoeb: scoring goals is your job?

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y/n: so is yours, wouldn't know it tho.....😌

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marie_hoeb: Wichser

motherfucker

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Marie sighed as she put down her phone, slight anger boiling in her at the fact her lover had yet to tell her where she had transferred. After her contract was up, Marie hoped she would come to Liverpool.

But she didn't even know if her lover had been offered a contract by them. She knew Real Madrid had offered and that Arsenal had made a swinging bid for the CAM but she didn't know what her lover had chose.

The two, when they first came together years ago, made a promise to never affect the other with their football, they were to focus on their careers and their careers only, the rest they could make work, even if they were oceans apart.

"You okay?" Grace asks Marie, her head tilted in kindness as she asked.

"Yeah, fine." Marie smiles, accepting her friend's hand to pull her to her feet.

"Right." Matt Beard calls, clapping his hands as the group gather around him and the staff. "Now, we've been relatively quiet this transfer season, however, we have got a new arrival." Matt explains.

"You what?" Jenna asks, confused as to how this was all kept quiet, the press more often than not finding a thread to pull on and unravel.

"It was kept quiet and cleverly so." Matt continues. "But please give a drum roll for..." Matt begins.

The Liverpool women all begin to stomp their feet excitedly and start a quiet 'ooh' with jazz hands, it was something they started a few seasons ago to make newcomers feel welcome.

"Our new CAM y/n l/n!" Matt cheers and y/n jumps out from behind the tunnel, a few of the girls cheering loudly as they knew the girl quite well.

Marie however charged forward, her shorter body wrapping into y/n's the taller girl picking her up and keeping her close to her body Maire pulls her head off of y/n's shoulder.

Marie's hands come around her face, cupping her cheeks as y/n keeps a tight grip on her, the Austrian talking quickly at her, the German language spilling past her lips as she questioned her lover.

"Marie, pass auf, dass dein Team da ist." y/n chided quietly.

marie, careful, your team is there.

Marie had been the one who wanted to keep the relationship quiet, and almost six years in, y/n wasn't as worried about people knowing, but she knew Marie still looked over her shoulder.

Marie huffed out an annoyance, tucking her head back into y/n's neck as the woman set her back on her feet and moved over to the rest of the team.

"I know most of you, I am aware, but either way, It is exciting to be play with all you." y/n hums, her English getting slightly confused in her head, which no one bothered to mention.

"This is so exciting." Grace cheers jumping at her friend who laughs and hugs her.

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liverpoolwfc just posted on their story

tagged y/n and marie_hoeb

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y/n just posted

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y/n thank you for the lovely welcome! I'm ready for this! xx

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username1: AHHH so excited to have you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

username2: GO ON! THREE POINTS 🥹🥹🥹

stanwaygeorgia: Miss you buddy!!!!!! 🩷

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y/n: MISS YOU MORE!!!! 🩷

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username3: friendship of the year!

username4: that link up between her and Marie!!!

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username5: They're so cute - the are as good together for Austria as well!! 😊😊

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username6: Are they dating????

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username7: some people say yes, some say no! They have never confirmed.

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username6: Okay, thank you!!!

manuela_zinsberger: wrong shade of red :( 😩

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marie_hoeb: NEIN!! 🙄

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y/n: Sorry Manu! But I look best in this shade. 😏

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marie_hoeb: I agree!

username7: So excited to have youuuuu!!! 🌟

username8: 🥰🥰🥰

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y/n laughed as Grace mimicked her second goal celebration, the new CAM subject to some teasing as she scored her second against Brighton and then panicked, not knowing what to do to celebrate.

In y/n's defence she hadn't expected the shot to go in from so far away, so just stood there in shock for a second as her team jumped on her excitedly.

The group had all changed and were heading to their cars and Marie grabbed her lovers bags, packing them in her car as the two had rode here together.

The team didn't seem to question the fact they were living together, despite Marie living in a one-bed apartment. Out of reflex, y/n muttered a thank you in German and pecked her lover's lips, Marie, holding her neck for a moment to lengthen the kiss.

Marie didn't seem to notice as she continued and shut the boot of her car, turning around to see her team paused confused as y/n stood with an awkward look on her face.

Marie paused, going to ask what was wrong when her hand flew to her lips in shock, as y/n tucked her head in her hands as the team flew into shouts of confusion.

"Well, I guess no better time than this." Marie chuckles. "Yes, we have been together, together since we were 17 and no, we didn't feel the need to tell anyone." The girl explains to her teammates.

y/n still had her head in her hands, annoyed at herself for outing them in such a way, so she didn't notice Marie sigh and slowly kneel, her teammates suddenly silencing in shock.

"Meine Liebe?" Marie asked softly.

my love?

y/n groaned, her head still in her hands as she muttered apologies under her breath.

"Fünf Jahre Liebe mit dir, also vielleicht eine letzte Übertragung, meine Liebe, auf meinen Nachnamen?" Marie asked.

Five years of love with you, so maybe one last transfer my dear, to my last name?

y/n's head snapped up, her hand coming up to her mouth as she noticed her love on one knee, ring box in hand. Grace was crying, wiping the tears which wouldn't stop.

"Ja. Ja. Ja." y/n whispered, tears being blinked away as Marie grinned standing up to hug her lover whispering sweet nothings in her ear as the team cheered.

The two pulled away, leaving just enough space for Maire to slide the ring over y/n's finger, before they met in a kiss made of pure love as their team-mates tried to understand what had just happened.

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y/n just posted

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y/n one last transfer surprise for you all, from y/l/n to Hobinger xo happy six years my love xo

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marie_hoeb just posted

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marie_hoeb my last name will sound great, happy six years baby <3

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twitter/X

username1: HOW THE FUCK

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username2: WHOMST THE FUCK

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username3: WHERE THE FUCK?

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username4: WHEN THE FUCK

username5: how did we not clock it? 6 years

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username6: we are all idiots.

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END

hope this is what Anon wanted !! Tried my best with what was given!!

- Queenie xox

[odxrilove]

☆ SEOKMIN BOYFRIEND HABITS

pairing: seokmin x reader

genre: headcannons, fluff, established relationship

a/n: 11th part of the seventeen boyfriend habits series (requested) !! sent an ask to suggest the next member! ask to be on the taglist or fill out the form!

back to seventeen boyfriend habits masterlist!

☆ pokes your cheeks

if there's one thing seokmin does and has done since the moment you have met, it’s poking your cheeks. if he could, seokmin would be a professional cheek poker, with you as his most loyal victim, or as he likes to say, client. seokmin himself doesn’t even know why he’s so obsessed with it, why it’s such a need for him, feeling sad if he doesn’t poke your cheeks at least once a day (you even called him an addict once and he protested, until you told him him pouting was a withdrawal effect. he quickly shut up after that.) it was only years later when jeonghan cleverly explained to him and made a powerpoint to prove his point that seokmin realized it wasn’t the act of poking your cheeks that was a necessity for him, but that you were. it was a life changing moment for seokmin and for days following the revelation, he would not look you in the eye. he didn’t even try to poke your cheek at least once! but after two weeks of seokmin acting like he was continuously lost, you were done with his bullshit and snapped him out of his reverie, taking his hand and directing it to your cheek, forcing him to poke it with a glare. at that moment, boldness overtook seokmin and he blurted the three words out, blushing at your perplexed face. now that the two of you were dating and seokmin knew you were never actually bothered by his habit, it became a daily loving gesture in your relationship.

☆ leans towards you whenever he's happy or laughing

as everyone knows, seokmin is one of the members who light up the mood, he’s the one who’s laugh you almost always hear bouncing off the walls. in short, seokmin is a happy virus. it surprised you at first, how fast he could light up the mood of the group. so when you two started talking to each other, the other members were quite happy to see their member smiling so brightly with you by his side. often, when you weren’t there yet, seokmin would lean towards the member closest to him and swing an arm over their shoulder, laughing loudly. but after you joined the friend group and were always unconsciously next to him (seokmin liked to hold hands so…), he would instead turn towards you and lean on you for support. at first it was a simple hand on the shoulder, than an arm over the shoulder, then an arm around the waist and at last, his head nuzzled in your neck, his laughter tickling your skin. the others would always find it so endearing, satisfied and happy that their friend had found someone to (literally) lean on, watching the two of you with smiles as you held onto your boyfriend tightly, hand softly brushing the hair at the nape of his neck.

☆ watches over your shoulder when you're doing something

seokmin loves to know what you’re doing. it’s not in a controlling way but he likes to be able to help you out if you ever need, or being able to have a conversation about it. in general, he likes being able to involve himself in the things you do, so that you know he’s always interested and open to what you do. you think it’s sweet how his face lights up when he sees you doing something new, already happy to listen to you explain it to him. but what you love the most when he does so, is when he watches you do your thing. it can be anything and your boyfriend would happily slide his arms around your waist (if it isn’t bothering you obviously) and watch over your shoulder, humming and nodding his head along to what you’re saying. sometimes when you’re cooking (because you demanded he take a rest), he would join you in the kitchen and hug you from behind, sleepily watching you chop the veggies and placing delicate kisses on your temple in appreciation and acknowledgment of your offer. if seokmin could, he would stay like this forever, you in his arms, your warmth enveloping him, and you showing him what true love is.

☆ enacts scenes of your favorite books with you

the two of you actually met through wonwoo, after the latter joined your book club in highschool and you had been dating since your senior year. so obviously, seokmin knew of your little (un)healthy obsession with books- it was actually impossible to not know about it, your closet hallways were even filled with books! before you two started dating, seokmin actually “flirted” with you by reading every book you read, memorizing some scenes you seemed to like and then casually mentioning them to you while trying not to stutter. after you two were past the honeymoon phase and moved in together, seokmin didn’t really lose that “flirting” technique of his. whenever you would be rereading an old book, seokmin would creep up behind you and try to find out what scene you were reading before surprising you, getting closer to you and starting to act out the scene. it would make you laugh every time and seokmin would only continue after seeing you smile, taking a deeper voice when changing from line and twirling around. soon, you would leave your book to join him, taking his hands in yours and messily but endearingly acting out the scene together.

perm. taglist: @0x1lovebot @fairybinie @blaqpinksthetic @odetoyeonjun @pockyandme @soobin-chois @soobisms @junityy @kaimal @laylasbunbunny @jaeyunverse @bibinnieposts @raevyng @yoonzin0 @hoeforcheol @hykai

svt bf habits taglist: @baldi-2 @soov @ggyulicious @enhacolor @shuabby1994 @mariecoura @rosellerinfrost @jaemicr @just-here-to-read-01 @inmynewwrld @bigbossbennett @pearlygraysky @mika-t3t @niktwazny303 @minhwa @ikigaiox @bestboysvt @kokoiinuts @a-wandering-stay @maimeetangka @amethyistheart @fluorescentloves

please do not copy, repost or steal any of my work. all content belongs to @odxrilove

[adracat]

GWitch ep 19 thoughts

Every episode is a kick in the teeth with candy boots. A sweet misery you've known like no other. This episode was no different and I relished today's destruction as Mio and Prospera take center stage

That's a loaded statement if I've ever seen one. Really enjoyed this brief intro segment. We get Guel's thoughts on Kenanji; uninspired and suspicious, which are a vast change from his once admiration of the man. Guel also seems surprisingly chill about returning to Earth, but cryptically comments he wants to check the situation there and aid in negotiations. I like how Mio and him have fallen into this friendly rapport after everything. We'd like to see him apologize formally ofc, but it's not necessary for Mio. She's focused on greater concerns than the petty school days of Asticassia

Meanwhile, Suletta is a wreck. She's completely fallen apart after her mother and sister dumped her in space like hot garbo. She can't even plaster on a smile and lie to herself any longer. Earth House just thinks she's upset about the break up, so she isn't confiding in anyone at all. Suletta.exe has stopped working :(

Hilariously, Counselor Secilia has decided to make Martin her servant after listening to his confessional. It's great they make a distinct parallel to Miorine here, with Martin explaining he thought the best way to protect Earth House was to give up Nika. The show is filled with instances of people taking away another person's agency in the misguided belief they're doing 'what's best'. So good!

Real Elan finally gets more dialogue and he makes an excellent point, for once. The quickest and dirtiest way into Benerit's graces would be to forcefully suppress the earthian protests. A gundam, let alone one like Aerial, is a powerful statement of supremacy after all. Shaddiq is convinced Miorine would never allow it, and he's partly right. She wouldn't if she was the one truly calling the shots.

Feng is so cool for a spook. She successfully preys upon Belmeria's cowardice and gains her begrudging compliance. Really enjoyed the dynamic here at this little tea party. It was almost like a date 😳 Love me two older women with some tension. Is this the newest gwitch ship to take flight?

I love how Mio recognized these are peaceful protesters immediately. It's another instance of her demonstrating empathy on a greater level than she once did. Her initial ignorant comments about Earthians in cour 1 seem a distant memory, and much of it has to do with her exposure to Earth House. If not for them and Suletta, her pov would be just as narrow as every other spacian's.

And it's off to a terrible start lmao. I think Mio expected an uphill battle but those are some steep demands. A worldwide ban on spacians is unfeasible but absolutely warranted considering everything the spacians have done. Mio doesn't quite know how to counter, and it's so funny Guel left her here without help after previously saying he doesn't trust her diplomacy skills. I doubt he'd be much help tbh, but I guess he trusts her more than he said? Which is, uh, somewhat appreciated? It's the thought that counts.

Sad widow moment. Norea grieving Sophie's death and expressing her fear of death explicitly has been a long time coming. 5lan bearing witness as the floodgates open and she reveals they share this core dread? God this hit so good. You can't help but feel for these kids. Nika continues to watch on in bafflement as the drama unfolds. When is she gonna leave this level of purgatory?? Only Okouchi knows...

OMG, I AM SLAIN. Defeated. This sad husk of a girlboss misses her (ex) wife so much. Normal people would just have a wallet photo or a locket, but she's reduced to watching this goofy ass promo wistfully. I would find it hilarious if it wasn't so sad. It does give her the strength to continue negotiations so that's neat

More importantly, it reminds her of GUND's ideals and the people who've banded together because of that dream; Earth House. She cleverly points out that fulfilling their demands would also mean removing earthians from space, but she won't because they're her partners at GUND-ARM. Her showing them the medical achievements they've already made together was smart and tips the scales in her favor

I keep saying I love Mio but I really do. She's inspired to grasp the presidency for her own goals, rather than just as a tool for Prospera. She found a path of peace in spite of everything against her. It's bittersweet to know, in a kinder world, this would be the end of her struggles. But Prospera won't be satisfied with peace.

This shot was gold. Suletta raiding the fridge like an unwashed raccoon is perfect on so many levels. We finally get unbound Suletta too. Ugh she looks so good 😭

LOOK AT HER!! Babygirl. She looks like such a sad scruffy mutt here. I love it 🥹 Adored Earth House supporting her in her hour of need and giving her a boost with goat milk too. Really cements the rebirth imagery they had in the last episode.

Martin decides to slink home too and reveals everything going on with Nika. This bit from Lilique says it all. There are times when you are left with only so many options. While you may not choose the objectively best path, you can only pick what YOU feel is best. Miorine, Martin, Aerial. Even Delling and Prospera (Perhaps DoF and Shaddiq as well) It fits all the way across the cast.

I didn't expect to get the Shaddiq real name drop from this shakedown, but I'll take it. Kenanji may be a cop with blood on his hands, but he's a keen one. We learned that 'Prince' is a longstanding nickname and it implicates Shaddiq wholly in the terrorist attacks. 'Whoopsie, all my nefarious plans undone by one kid's rambling!'

(I also think the implication was Shaddiq or Jeru Ogul rather, is the 'heir apparent' to Ochs Earth virtue of his dead family. Not entirely certain tbh)

Looks like Guel will be Asticassia bound next episode along with Kenanji. No idea why Kenanji had to tag along but I guess Mio has enough of an escort. Let's hope this detour leads to Suletta using the Schwarzette! Fingers crossed

You saw it here, everybody. Prospera shot first! I'll admit I didn't fully expect her to go this route but it makes sense. I anticipated her gaining Mio support somehow, but she just cut the BS and said let's do this dirty. Controlling Earthian artillery to mask her intentions and provide an excuse is devious and brilliant

Destroying DoF's secret stache of gundams even more so. She really cut Shaddiq's plan for a cold war at the knees and Guel/Kenanji are on track to expose his duplicity entirely. He'll be lucky to not be jailed let alone president of anything. It's amazing that everything works out for Prospera no matter how many risks she takes or gambles made. Lady Luck must love her nonsense as much as the audience

Cut back to Bel and Feng, their date did not end as well as I hoped. While Bel spilled some details about Quiet Zero, Prospera's second hunts her down and interrupts this powow. Can't risk QZ leaking to the corpo spooks after all. We did learn that SAL is not as unified or well intentioned as we might have thought. Their high council was revealed to be backing Ochs Earth of all corps. Feng seemed to be an outlier in yet another shady corpo-controlled faction. I'll miss her, but maybe she somehow escaped this dire situation? I won't hold my breath. RIP Feng, you were a real one!

Elan Prime seems so smug to be right, even if it means their horse in this race has some real competition. He really is a little shit just like 5lan. That MS shot though. Damn evocative. War journalists eat your heart out. It's visual reference too, I believe?

This is the funniest thing he could've said. Shaddiq is malding just like a pathetic incel. Remember when everyone thought he pulled mad game because he's surrounded by women? But the sad reality is he's the most maidenless person in the solar system. The best outcome tbh.

Beyond the laughs, this line speaks so much about how he views Miorine. He views her little better than a prize only he's deserving of; a 'pure' princess to match his crusading prince. He repeatedly disregards her agency, seen in episode 9 when he acts like Suletta controls Mio and here when he blames Guel for what's happening on Earth. He's such a salty little worm.

Finally, we're left with Suletta and Earth House as they react to the chaos. Suletta recognizes instantly Miorine's innocence and her mother's culpability. This was why Aerial sent her away. This was what everyone is trying to shield her from. It was a moment of clarity I hadn't expected, but a very welcome one. Hopefully, this means she'll be spurred into action now that Mio is in very real danger. Schwarzette time? We can dream~

That next episode is incredibly ominous though. End of Hope? Considering they have that promo where GUND-ARM/earth house are the ray of hope... yikes. Let's hope I'm just reading into things and it's not that grim

Edit* additional musings:

A segment was deleted somehow so here it is

Miorine... You know, I've seen people having a bit of schadenfreude at her expense. 'she's so stupid, ofc this happened!' - that flavor of criticism. My counter to this is what could she have realistically done? She was strong-armed into this agreement and manipulated onto Earth. She dared to imagine a peaceful solution based on ideals she slowly grew to believe wholeheartedly. This isn't her fault, much as she thinks otherwise. I can see her willfully remaining on earth to try and correct this atrocity. Girl needs a big hug from her wife ;-;

[gabessquishytum]

Ok this RoyaltyAU: https://www.tumblr.com/gabessquishytum/735982880275283968/royalty-au-where-hob-and-dream-are-head-over-heels immediately made me think of that Reign scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua_a_OMLXUw where they have to fuck with witnesses, and like what if it's kind of reversed? Like Hob's people have all these stupid rules about sex and purity and monogamy & so they have to make sure the marriage is consummated.

And they both hate it — Hob especially hates that he's... like actually turned on? Because Dream is just so hot & perfect & seems kind of sweet and innocent (his people aren't as bothered about purity, but they made sure to choose their least obviously slutty prince to send to their puritanical neighbors so this peace deal will actually work), and Hob just wants to cuddle him and protect him and court him properly, but he knows how things are done — the last monarch whose marriage was questioned was beheaded & it lead to a long, bloody schism.

Still, Hob tries to comfort Dream, who is nervously eyeing the shockingly large audience of stoic onlookers.

"Look at me," Hob whispers, caging Dream with his arms and letting his long hair fall over Dream's face, shielding him from the room as much as possible. "It's just you and me, love, alright?"

And Dream tries to focus on the (rather handsome) prince above him whose concern is really quite sweet. He feels the long dark hair tickling his face and focuses on the muscles rippling under his finger tips and the sound of Hob's hitching breath. And the strong hands that are roving over Dream's hips and thighs and — not quite between his legs, but close enough that they trigger a physical response which successfully diverts Dream's attention. And then Hob's lips are so close they're brushing Dream's ear and his whisper is barely audible.

"I've got a bit of chicken blood."

WHAT.

A spark of panic shoots through Dream because wtf kind of cultic shit are these people into?!

"If... you know, you don't bleed," Hob explains in that barely audible voice. "And if you don't want... I don't have to...."

Because, here's the thing. Hob is prepared. Firstly, he knows the penetrated partner doesn't always bleed the first time (and, to be honest, he doesn't even care if it's Dream's first time!) And secondly, Hob is clever and kind of a rogue and can absolutely put on a show — he is totally prepared to hump the shit out of the mattress and give these pervs all the fluids they need for proof of consummation without actually violating Dream any more than strictly necessary.

But then Dream understands, and this is like... the sexiest fucking shit he has every experienced. Hob's genuine care and, like, actually going through the trouble and being prepared to break his country's laws to care for Dream. And Dream's hands are roving now, stroking and guiding Hob's cock (in a way that indicates that, possibly, this sweet, innocent prince does have some experience), and his hips are lifting, his legs opening and wrapping around Hob's waist, dragging him in to where his slick pussy is absolutely ready to consummate this.

And Hob — who was trying to hold back his wilder nature as much as possible and was totally ready to make this just a quick business transaction with as little trauma as possible — is just absolutely massively turned on by Dream's eagerness and just utterly lets go, giving everyone a damn show — but for real this time as he fucks Dream hard and fast, spurred on by every moan and gasp torn from that perfect throat. And at some point, as they're both near-lost to pleasure, Dream crushes his lips against Hob's ear and whispers,

"The blood?"

And Hob's hands dig it out of the hidden pocket of his wedding night tunic. (He cleverly hides the movement amid several hard gropes which send Dream's eyes rolling heavanward and tear ragged shouts from his lips.) And when they both collapse, breathless and trembling and still clutching at each other, there are a few proper drops of blood on the sheets between Dream's thighs.

And, if Dream and Hob had had eyes for anyone else in the room, they'd've noticed that the breath of the stoic prudes watching them had become more rapid, and several cheeks were a bit more flushed than they'd been before, and some hands had strayed suspiciously under the elaborate flowing garments of the watchers, and honestly, there were probably at least a few members of the Privy Council and the younger generation of nobility who wouldn't protest when, inevitably, Hob came into his full power and began to open up some of the country's more restrictive ideas about sex...

But they don't have eyes for anyone else. They might as well have been in their own chamber at the bottom of the Mariana Trench for all the mind they pay to their audience now.

Ahhh, this is lovely!!! There's nothing sexier than a man who is respectful and educated on the facts of biology. Dream has definitely lucked out with his husband! I bet they have quite a giggle about the whole thing when the entire court has left the bedroom and they finally have privacy. Dream is like "do you think you're the first prince to ever give his spouse an orgasm on their wedding night?" And Hob is like "oh my god i hope NOT. but maybe." And then he wiggles down between Dream’s legs to give him another one. Just in case.

Hob is still reflection of the culture where he grew up, so he does still blush when he sees his beautiful husband in sheer nightgowns and elaborate lingerie. But he also finds that ever since that first night, he's developed a tiny little streak of exhibitionism. He loves it when Dream comes into the council chambers and drapes his scantily clad form over Hob’s lap. He loves sliding his hand up Dream’s thigh and touching him in front of everyone. He is certainly very pleased and proud indeed when all their hard work pays off and Dream gives him an heir.

The fact that the heirs just keep coming as the years pass by demonstrates that their marriage bed is in near constant use. Fortunately, the entire court doesn't troop in to watch every time 😉

[zahri-melitor]

Reading Digger Harkness as an Aussie: why he’s specifically written to wind me up, the undercurrents of many of his appearances, and why he’s voting No in the Voice referendum.

(Okay if you know ANYTHING about Digger and about the Voice you already knew that, but making this current-relevant!)

George “Digger” Harkness is Captain Boomerang. He’s traditionally written by DC to be specifically, deliberately annoying and disliked. Due to this he’s simultaneously quite cleverly written while also being the laziest character stereotype imaginable.

One of the things that drives me up the wall every time I read him in a book is that due to a clash of a few things in his character design, the subtext he’s evolved over time is remarkably complex, but also geared to make me despise him. Also I can’t tell how much of it is deliberate on the writer’s part.

The first thing you need to understand is that Harkness is very specifically putting on a level of Australianness for his audience (the usually American characters around him). The fascinating thing in this is that, unusually for this trope, his writers are often aware he’s doing this. The common term for this is ‘ocker’. You can notice this in the language he uses: it’s specifically peppered with ‘Australian’ words and phrases.

Now this is a pretty common thing for writers to do to demonstrate a character is Australian. It sounds like someone trying to write Crocodile Dundee or Steve Irwin. However, to my ear (and years of putting up with this), the way it’s done for Digger is…off. It’s not the standard terrible way it’s used in American media, but it’s equally not written naturally for how an Australian who natively speaks ocker/broad would use it. Digger’s playing it up, and he’s playing it up badly. (the closest comparison I can make than an Australian might understand is he sounds more like Russell Coight than Steve Irwin, with all that implies) He wants people to think he’s an Australian stereotype.

Heck, let’s break down his name for a demonstration of this.

Captain Boomerang: this is a very, very, loaded name. Digger’s specifically racist, and he’s racist in a very White Australia Policy sort of way. The writers are aware he’s racist. He uses a boomerang as a symbol as he’s Australian (surface level) but they’re also specifically drawn as white a lot of the time, both in his costume and in the weapons themselves. They’re not plain wood or decorated with traditional art. They’re white. He has a history of making boomerangs and promoting them in Australia for sale, as a white guy, which is uhhhh Not Great. He’s assumed a traditional piece of Australian Aboriginal weaponry and culture as his own, and he’s painted it white. He’s asserting that it’s his culture now and has stripped it of its traditional meaning. (Also his boomerangs often don’t come back, and have sharpened edges and are used wrongly). He doesn’t like Black People ™ but also uses a weapon specifically associated with an oppressed minority in his place of origin. The white supremacy attitude is very much coded in.

“Digger” as a nickname: oh the way this clashes and interacts with the fact he uses ‘Captain’ as a title! Digger as a term is a general nickname for Australian Army soldiers. It comes from the Gallipoli landings and the trenches of World War I. By using it as his nickname, Harkness is evoking a whole HOST of imagery and specifically nationalist cultural imagery surrounding Gallipoli as a ‘birthplace’ of Australian identity, something that’s been weaponised particularly by the Australian political right for the past 30 years as a national symbol. In the stories that a country tells itself about who they are, Harkness is evoking a very major one and also one that can read as quite toxic if not done carefully. (if you need a quick entry to the way the nickname makes me wince, look up ‘Cronulla Riots’. That’s the sort of person his name is evoking for me) The other problem on top of this – this is a soldier’s nickname. Harkness has never been in the Australian military (as far as I can tell). Combined with the fact he uses the title of ‘Captain’, he’s suggesting he’s got a military background that he 100% does not have. He’s a giant hypocrite. Now being part of the military in Australia reads differently to being part of the military in the USA, in how society sees it, but this is still not on. It’s not a natural nickname for an Australian to have, in his circumstances. It doesn’t even make sense as a traditional ironic nickname given by his friends. Which means he picked it himself. And for that style of nickname…choosing your own? That’s considered to be poor form and trying way too hard. (And nicknames are culturally important! For the personality Harkness is trying to present to his audience, he SHOULD have a nickname like this. My father’s is ‘Bones’, for instance. But choosing your own, and choosing one that implies traits that are not yours to display? Really really bad form)

Basically in summary, Harkness is very much coded in a lot of ways to essentially be the Australian equivalent of someone who stormed the Capitol on January 6, 2021. With that sort of view of his home country.

What is fascinating is that when Harkness interacts with other Australian characters, they do not like him, so the writers are aware that he’s been written to be this level of objectionable.

Now, some of this coding in his character has just accumulated over 60+ years as stereotypes have evolved and things have become ever more socially unacceptable. But the interesting thing here is that the writers ACKNOWLEDGE that unacceptable behaviour from Harkness.

I hate him so much. And I also want to fix his dialogue, which suffers from being written by Americans, to include a bunch more extremely country ocker sayings. He NEEDS to be saying things like “stone the flaming crows” and “fair shake of the sauce bottle” and “flat out like a lizard drinking” and “I didn’t come here to fuck spiders”. Because he’s putting it on. And these are the sort of things he’d lean in to to convey that level of “oh I’m not from around here, I am quoting Crocodile Dundee at you but you didn’t even realise” that he’s written to have.

[aqua-the-smiter]

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦୨୧✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ ℑ𝔯𝔬𝔫 ℌ𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔰 Ferrus Manus x female oc (Argena Seeva) Other parts in the reblogs Ferrus, in a bid to one up his pain-in-the-ass brother Fulgrim, takes up drawing. Gets some reference help from his long suffering friend and senechal, Argena. Part of my AU I have cleverly called the Primarch Wife AU. Happy endings, the boys get the help they need, Big E is a good dad and, most importantly, everybody gets a wife. Because big husband and small wife makes brain go brr

Sexual content/NSFW after the cut - Very lewd-but-not-lewd touching, Ferrus jacking off to his future wife while trying to get work done, idiots in love. @thevoidscreams @pringles-plaguehaus ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦୨୧✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊ “Gena?” Ferrus asked, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. “I have a…strange favor to ask of you.” Argena put down the loop of silver she’d been polishing and turned around on her stool to face him as she heard him out. Throne, he even looked uncomfortable, and she wondered what exactly he needed that he was looking so hot under the collar. Ferrus Manus was many things, but wavering was not one of them. Actually he was kind of cute like that. She mentally slapped herself almost as soon as the thought crossed her mind. HE. IS. YOUR. BOSS. She’d been with him for over a year and half at this point. It felt like it should have been longer. Falling into the role of his senechal had been so easy after a while. Especially after they’d started spending more time simply enjoying each other’s company. He was a surprisingly layered man once he opened up enough to show it. And, she heavily suspected, a lonely one too. So they’d gotten close more easily than she would have first thought. It even showed in the way he addressed her. Gena, a more tender nickname than her given. “Does it have anything to do with your ongoing attempts to one up your brother?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It does, yes. Look, I can’t help it. Fulgrim has been driving me mad recently, so I want to pay him back in kind.” “I know, I know. And if you pull it off you’ll make him absolutely seethe.” “It” in question was Ferrus putting a serious effort into learning how to draw. He could already, but it was an entirely different kind. Technical drawings, machine blueprints, weapon schematics. Nothing really artistic, although it could be counted as a form of art in its own right if you asked her. Watching him work was hypnotic, the movement of the pencil or stylus in his metal hands impossibly graceful. Elegant even. But most people didn’t see it that way. Resident artsy fuck, Fulgrim, certainly didn’t. Constantly making little jabs and jokes at his best friend’s inability to produce anything else than purely practical drawings. Finally, Ferrus had enough and announced to her in private that he was going to produce a piece of actual art better than anything Fulgrim could do (and he wasn’t as good as everyone thought he was, including himself) out of pure brotherly spite. The early results were rough, but promising. Argena herself had quite a bit of skill, picked up from her goldsmithing hobby, and he’d come to her with practice sketches, rudimentary shapes and simple three dimensional objects. It took him a while, but he was definitely getting it. His talent for technical drawings was beginning to shine through with the clean linework. In short, it seemed he might actually do it. “That is the goal.” He said, just a little smug. “So what do you need me for, pray tell my lord?” She prompted. The Primarch seemed to steel himself for a moment. “Well…I feel I’m ready to move on to…organic materials now. I can only draw my own tools so much before I cease to learn any more from the exercise. I was going to ask if I could study you. Your anatomy, I mean.” And it already sounded like that would involve less clothes than she started with that day. “...Study my anatomy? How so? Moreover, why?”

“Feel up your body. Your muscles, skeletal structure, general build. How everything connects and moves together. I find that I learn best when I am up to the elbows in it so to speak, so being able to touch it would be the best thing. You are the only person I feel comfortable coming to with this. It is, ultimately, quite a petty thing I’m after. You have been very understanding of me. More than I thought would be possible.” Ferrus paused for a moment, wondering if what he had to say next was even a good idea before deciding he’d take that chance. “Also, you are objectively a very beautiful woman. Whatever someone’s personal tastes may be, nobody could look at you and deny it. And subjectively, I think you are a beautiful woman. For those reasons you’d make the best subject for what I’m trying to accomplish. If the goal of art is to create something pleasing to the eye, something that captures the beauty of the world and the enthusiasm of the creator in a still image, you would be a perfect basis. Not like the mess of colors and lines Fulgrim throws on his canvases.” He spoke so frankly. Ferrus was always a very no-nonsense type of person, but to have that direct, blunt nature used in such a glowing description of her was something else entirely. Because you knew for a fact when he said something, he meant it. It made her feel very warm inside. “And this is purely for research, right?” She asked tentatively. “Purely objective.” He swore. “And I won’t go any farther than you want or touch you anywhere you don’t want to be touched. I’ll fill in any gaps in my knowledge with an anatomy book. Just tell me where to stop, and I will.” Somehow a Primarch who’d grown up in the wilderness eating sand had a better concept of boundaries than many people. “Well...I trust you, so I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” She said after a moment, rubbing her upper arm. “I’m willing. Let’s do it.” He gave her one of his rare smiles (that seemed to be becoming less rare nowadays come to think of it), genuinely grateful. It made her feel more at ease with the agreement. Who knows, it might even be fun. ₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊