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dxmedstudent · 5 years

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In your opinion, how would you rank med specialties in terms of surviving an apocalypse? (vector/spread/apocalyptic scenario of your choice)

That’s a funny question. I haven’t thought about it too much, but a quick attempt at such a list might look like: Cope well:

Ortopaedics: good with blunt objects and smashing things. You don’t need to knwo any medicine to fight a zombie apocalypse. They wouldn’t do so well in an infectious outbreak situation, though.

ID: hey, they rule infections with an iron well-gloved fist. Avoiding contamination is second nature to them; what they lack in real world experience they make up for in knowing germs.

Obs and Gynae: you’re gonna need someone who can deliver a baby without breaking a sweat. They have seen things... bloody things and they have no fear.

Radiogists will be locked away in their dark rooms. They won’t even know there’s an apocalyptic scenario happening. Not sure they’d care.

Paediatrics; used to avoiding getting bitten/fending off thrashing toddlers, and fighting off lots of germs brought in by kiddies.

Veterinary medicine. For similar reasons.

Sexual health/HIV: nothing is too gruesome. They understand infection and human behaviour like almost nobody else.

Cope OK

Pathologists: Locked away from clinical areas gives them a certain amount of safety. Very likely to crack some important information that might help get a cure. They won’t even know there’s an apocalyptic scenario happening. But if they do autopsies, high risk of getting infected before they realise what’s happening.

ITU. Super good in the controlled environment of their ITU, and have lots of useful skills. But psychologically would cope very badly with a zombie apocalypse. They might hold their nerve against a more ordinary pathogen, though.

Respiratory. They know germs, they could set you up with some NIV or some fancy masks if you need respiratory treatment or precautions.

Gastroenterology; they are used to body fluids, so not easily fazed.

Palliative care; beware those who deal with death every day.

Oncology; they deal in toxins, and treading the fine line between poisoning and keeping people alive. I am not sure if they’d be as useful with infections as with zombies, but they have no fear of death.

Rheumatology. They might diagnose a zombie with lupus, but they’d probably figure out how to handle it in the end.

Nephrologists; they are used to keeping people alive via machines and dealing with the consequences.

Cope badly:

Surgeons. Yes, they are good with sharp objects, but on a tiny, tiny scale. They like a controlled environment. Likely to confuse a zombie for an anaesthetist and start barking orders.

ENT: great skills on a tiny, tiny scale, but can you imagine placing an otoscope in a zombie? I think not. Might be handy if they can use it as a boomerang.

Opthalmologists ditto.

Anaesthetics. Cool skills, and very useful in a pinch. But can they emotionally deal with the pressure of giving up sudoku and having to, you know, actually run around frantically doing things.

GPs: it’s not that they will cope badly. It’s that their patients bring in ALL the germs, even when they should probably be in hospital. So they’ll no doubt be the first to be infected when someone thinks that their GP can treat ebola with some lempsip and a sick note.

Cardiology. Is anyone having an MI or arrythmia? No. Oh well, too bad, because that’s about all they want to be dealing with. They might be much more useful in any scenario where delivering electric shocks to patients (or zombies) is useful.

Geriatricians: lovely people, but how will they cope with an outbreak killing like 90% of their patients?

Endocrinologists. I don’t know, I can’t see them having any special edge.

Feel free to add to the list :)

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