#rafamirs

[kvtnisseverdeen]

Special day for a special person. (x)

[28dayslater]

good evening to you all and welcome to cockmojo where tonight we will be counting down my personal top ten terror cocks

those unaffiliated with footyblr may be unfamiliar with the term cock as it’s being used here: all will become clear in time

special mention before we start to the netsilik hunter (sexy man, deserved a name and some screentime) james clark ross but only in the first episode when he’s all rugged and his beard’s grown out, and mr blanky, who, much like knife dad, fuccs like a broken train but he runs on time if you know what i mean

in a very respectable tenth place finish, billy gibson. i didn’t see the vision until 1. it was pointed out to me that he looks a lot like pau torres, who is himself very cockable, and 2. i rewatched the scene where he breaks up with hickey. known shagger, massive hater, a very pointy nose, he’s scraped a place on this list.

a surprise entry at ninth is john irving. inarguably cute in a sort of late 2000s british indie band bassist way, and while i’m not sure i could fix him (he probably needs a man for that) i do think i would have fun trying. ultimately he’s not higher because he’s kind of annoying and his eyebrows piss me off.

representing the dilves at eighth is doctor macdonald. he’s entrancing to me he has this vibe of like gentle paternal indulgence... like even if you were annoying he’d be very fond of you. and i need that. when he said “i’d like to run that man through” and rubbed his eyes and looked so tired, i really felt something. the crow’s feet, the widow’s peak, the hair, yes!!

doing it for the feminists, in seventh we have harry goodsir. the loveliest guy on the expedition until he goes nastymode, and i’m fully on board with both versions. this picture was chosen for a reason and it’s bc his long curly hair full beard miserable expression era was simply unbeatable. unfortunately, and this is maybe the most insane thing i’ve ever said about a man, or at least top ten, when his half eaten corpse was laid out face down, and it had noticeable back hair, i got the ick. just to add insult to injury :/

i’m as surprised as you are that he’s not higher, number six, james fitzjames! he is my pretty pretty princess. nails, hair, hips, heels. high femme queen in his cunty little outfits ordering the men around. i want to brush his hair, one hundred strokes minimum. i think this is less sexual than some others on this list, it’s more appreciation. but my god do i appreciate him.

stay alive, number five, it’s thomas jopson. most beautiful haunted doll in the arctic, but that pretty face is covering up a seriously compelling #WeirdGuy underneath. all the shiny hair in the world can’t hide an obsession with his boss that in the modern era would be getting him a very serious meeting with HR. what a character, servicetopson you rock my world. but at the end of the day he loses points because i hate the beard. garrigan looks great with a beard in other stuff, i really don’t know why the scurvybeard was so foul. terror hair and makeup department GET IT TOGETHER. 

number phwoar, henry collins is here! he’s big he’s sweet he’s deeply mentally unstable he needs a cuddle and we’ve all seen that gif of him in aliens. would love to make him a really nice cup of tea (seems like a two sugars man), pet his hair as he rests his head in my lap, then fuck up my hip flexors. 

and now... we enter our top three. who’s made it to the prestigious cock podium?

first up, the winner of our bronze cock medal, which presumably he’ll be flogging for an unreasonable price to someone he’s assured it’s solid gold, “cornelius hickey”! people will bitch and moan about how he’s a violent lunatic who’s killed people like i’m not a cuti romero stan 🙄 i can see beyond that, my third eye is firmly open. the potential for a fun toxic relationship is absolutely off the charts bc that’s the only kind he has. and he’s very pretty when he cries. i can forgive a lot of crimes for a man whose nose entrances me.

in second place, such a close runner up, i have to award this honour to edward little. a pedestrian choice, you might think, if you don’t know the lore. i couldn’t fully explain my feelings towards this secondary character who’s not especially exciting on first watch when i started the show until i googled his actor... although i lacked the words to express this at the time i was cocking this man when i was 13 and he first appeared in misfits with a stupid neck tattoo and a horrible suit, and i cock him again now. this is a cock that’s followed me all my life, even though i forgot he existed for about a decade in between. who else can truly say they’ve EARNED a spot on my list like he has? he’s sad, he’s sopping wet, i could make him cry extremely easily. mwah

and finally...

number one. it had to be him, it was always going to be him. solomon tozer, take a bow and i’ll take ten cranberry pills. sol is thee top cock for so many reasons and chief among them is versatility. whatever you need he can be it. handsome soldier boy in a fancy red uniform that shows off his trim little waist? COCK! hostile violent mutineer throwing his life away in a rebellion? COCK! broken man inducted into a cult who cries about it? COCK!!! sexiest man in the damn arctic i know he was beating the boys off with a stick. there is a certain level of sexiness a man can reach where nothing he does is an ick, and i knew he’d reached that for me once i saw him in that insanely stupid hat at sir john’s funeral and didn’t give a fuck. call him tom jones the way he can leave his hat on. keep thotting it up in heaven/hell king i miss you every day. i know it was huge. my heart hurts.

[miunose]

us beating man shitty in the final im speaking it into existence

the same team that got dragged like a wet rag doll by mid-tier empoIi like the other day😭😭

[justisco]

now why did miss rafamirs just like an old post of me being a dumbass?

[maiteo]

grab the mate🧉 @rafamirs

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FUCKING LOVEEEE🗣️ I hope your day is as lovely, as delectable, as gorgeous n amazing as you are❤️ may your new year and all the ones following bring incredible things, new adventures, peace, joy and LOVE ofc!!!

the thought of you alone always has me giggling n kicking my feet like that’s thee permanent affect you have on me🤭 you are, undoubtedly, one of my favorite people ever. incomparable, selfless, hilarious, beauty inside in out…just STACKED!

you’re such a gift and im so lucky to be able to call you thee loml💘 every interaction, no matter what it is, no matter if its silly or serious means SO much to me…more than you can believe. i love you oh so very much it’s nuts! I don’t think I can say it enough times for it to feel accurate🫶🏽 what tf would i do without you…fr😭

I can truly keep typing on and on like…it doesn’t get more locked in and loaded up than this

and you already know what this is…

[bluemoonstonesy]

Blog recs pls 💕

if i forget anyone don’t come to my gaff and fight me i’m sorry

@tommyspeakycap @ruben-dias @faye01mcfc @emeraldphilo @romeroworldcup @bensdavies @heungmins @sendinthehuskies @mother-rodri @extra--time @debruyne @winksyspears @de-geas @sergioaguero @mcfc-enthusiast @darlaxfurrr @rashys @ladymarycrawley @jarrodsbowen @judeswhore @pascarvalhos @44prop @chxrryrose @johnstonesfc @stonesyy @lc-fics @julianalvarez9 @rafamirs @lilyarlison @neverinadream @footballerimaginess @footballffbarbiex @jstxnes

[heung-mins]

@rafamirs idk how to submit a pic to ur blog!! but i saw this and immediately thought of u <3

[sendinthehuskies]

hiya!! i’m new to football tumblr and am really just trying to get some interesting ppl who post on my timeline so was wondering if you had any suggestions?!

i am very much a stonesford enjoyer if that’s any help and am open to a lot of other ships too 😊💗

welcome!! First of all if I’m not following you and you’re up for it drop your @ so I can follow!!

Okay my amazing friends that post excellent funny sweet content about pairings or write amazing fic:

@28dayslater @mother-coady @extra--time @stonesys @debruyne @fruityfootballers @leekangin @richarlsons @slatkomore

Other blogs whomst are hilarious so much fun good vibes (spurs and city fans mainly I hope you’re not a red of any sort)

@girlbosswinks @capcapcapcp @category-5-harry-kane @guys-and-gals @dierwolff @dieretmoi @idiotsfc @footballffbarbiex @grandmafc @steviebergwijn @jujusmiths @iamrobinblake @cisarovna @glitterbreak @lilyarlison @avenirdelight @bluemoonstonesy @jacksgrealish @souds7 @stilldreamingx @ruben-dias @hojbjergs @bentancurs-bitch @rafamirs @turningon2u @bentancute @trashiequeen @kylewalker-peters @whiteheartkane

[mccleans]

girls when they see a pic of tumblr user rafamirs

[justisco]

i’m sorry but what is allie day? i’ve never heard that before

what is allie day? for the blind, it is light. for the hungry, it is bread. for the sick, it is the cure. for the sad, it is joy. for the poor, it is the treasure. for the debtor, it is forgiveness.

it's allie @rafamirs birthday!!!!!!

[maiteo]

it’s a little game we play…

on my beloveds special, fantastic, lovely day @rafamirs

happy birthday my rock, my love, thee ultimate beloved!!🌹🎂🎉🥳 I wish nothing but happiness, prosperity, and positivity for your new year and every single one that follows🩷 you’re beyond deserving of all amazing things

I have to say I absolutely adore you SO MUCH! I feel so lucky to be so close to you. every interaction, dm…every goofy lil joke we share… i cherish it ALL. you just get me, you know me🫂 you’re so selfless & kind and will go out of your way to send me positivity reminders (which saves me every time🥺) I’ve said it a million times but I’m oh so lucky and so grateful to have met you🫶🏽 I could cry right now, seriously

you make this place so much fun. one things guaranteed and it’s your mind WILL bring the most fun n silliest vibes to the dash. so effortlessly iconic and truly one of a kind. you’re stunning inside and out, with flawless energy to match, it’s so lovely💕 I love you so deep, you are so dear to me, it’s nuts🤭

also couldn’t resist making one<3 enjoy, ILYSM babes!!!

[miunose]

saw this earlier and instantly thought of you omds @rafamirs

[28dayslater]

really the only way to resolve this is to find out if allie would cock mr blobby

@rafamirs @rafamirs @rafamirs

[mccleans]

didn’t realize rafa mir was a real person I thought he was like a lord of the rings character like boromir

boromir faramir and rafamir

[justisco]

half time, gonna tune into @rafamirs latest work

[timoswerner]

the chelsea manager to spurs manager pipeline will continue and @rafamirs will lose her mind when it does