#rand.hc

[randaccidents]

Alright I got another little headcanon

And it is too about Mind, hehe

The not main reason why Mind don't sleep is because he got Nightmares or just dreams about Heart

Why he doesn't like Nightmares is obvious, but the reason why it doesn't like dreams with Heart is because he just wish they were reality, and it kinda mess with him and it's hehe mind

(looks at this ask)

(digs around Google)

"Sleep deprivation can cause more intense dreaming"

(rubs hands together) tadssstrange my mutual you have simply given me MORE to play with. The hc is now canon to Heartless I accept no criticism.

Like like like lemme just lay out an idea, a scene for us. Fair tw for nightmares and unreliable EVERYTHING

(IT GOT REALLY LONG TOSSING IN A READ MORE, @tadssstrange YOU KEEP INSPIRING ME TO WRITE. FREE FOOD FOR YOU)

———————————

The first time he goes to sleep after Heart is brought home is 2 days after, because neither of them are willing to leave Heart unmonitored, and Mind insisted that he take the first shift.

He doesn't remember the first dream/nightmare, not fully. It is a mess of shapes and darkness and shadows and blood and the colours purple and blue. He just knows that he woke up with the crushing weight of confused guilt on his chest stealing his breath.

.

It takes him 3 days before he tries to sleep again. He knows he needs to sleep to remain efficient, and his vision has been fuzzing out all day. He hasn't told Soul why he was avoiding sleep, but the dread creeps in as he lays in bed.

This next nightmare is vivid, and he wakes up having physically thrown himself off the bed, screaming. It takes awhile to calm him down even with Soul's help. Is that what Heart felt? Is that what dying felt like? The feeling of falling and your very self dissolving? He scrubs his mechanical hands so hard that black flecks of nail polish line the sink. He swears he still sees purple-and-blue-tinted blood and fresh grave-dirt between the joints. He thinks he is more exhausted than before he slept, but he refuses to go back to that nightmare, and Soul doesn't fight him.

..

It takes 4 days this time. Soul had to physically wrestle him into bed and hold him down this time. He doesn't want to stop moving and allow the thoughts and the exhaustion to finally steal him. Soul is not giving him the option. He falls asleep crying.

The dream is kinder than the previous nightmares, and yet crueller than either. He doesn't want to wake from the nostalgia of Heart being his normal, annoying self, the dream not quite doing its job of making him forget reality. Watching Heart grin and read off a passage about axon dendrites with his blindfold on knowing how much Mind hates how unnatural it looks makes something clench deep in his chest, a feeling entirely different from the crush of guilt or the rush of determination. Mind wishes the dream had chosen a memory where Heart's eyes could be seen. He lets himself sink into the memory.

Eventually, the Heart in the dream reads a passage he never has in Mind's memories, a passage about dreams. The Heart that is not his looks up at him and asks him, "I'm not really here, am I? I am asleep, as are you. But you can wake up still, and you should. Wake up, Mind."

Mind wakes up quietly to wet cheeks and a painful squeeze in his chest. Soul is nowhere to be found. Sitting up and wiping his eyes, Mind can't decide if a dream was worse than a nightmare.

At least a nightmare had the courtesy to not use Heart's face.

[randaccidents]

Oh to write the incredibly complex relationship between siblings. Specifically, the really weird one I have with mine.

Like.

I hate you, I love you, we live in the same house, I want you gone, I want you by my side.

Fighting and arguing, then 5 minutes later one of you showing up at the others door to ask for help with homework and being told to get in and pass a pen and paper. Or 5 minutes later telling them to come over for something and them actually showing up at your door. Or asking about something and getting a response.

Literally never apologising because the apology is implicit. The apology is in the ability to laugh at each others jokes barely 5 minutes later. The apology is in still being allowed to ask for help and receive it.

No one else is allowed this level of violence and kindness. You would verbally murder anyone who says the things about your sibling that you just said. They would probably commit an actual murder if it was said by anyone other than you.

They would rather choke than listen to you. They do anyways, because you are older and they trust you. They dont sometimes, because they know better.

Its a 30 minute argument. One of you interjects with an important family chore or duty and suddenly the argument is forgotten entirely and youre working together.

Somewhere in all of that, you do genuinely love each other. I dont know about my sibling, but I wonder if they hate me enough to want me gone, and then I remember all this. Loving a sibling is letting yourself be hurt by them.

Most days though, I wonder if they would rather I was gone from their life entirely. I dont want them to know my emotions about our relationship.

(Anyways this is an incredibly long way to describe how Im attempting to write Heartless!HMS relationship. They love and hate in equal amounts, but there is an implicit love that they do not express. The problem with that is that it leaves a lot for interpretation, and if you're in a depressive state like Heart you will not see that love. I know I didn't)

[randaccidents]

Heart's live reaction for the chicken plush:

ehehe mini fic potential ask mini fic potential ask-

For context: This is a part of the au I havent talked about much and links to another part that I am. Slightly stuck on trying to bang out. It's specifically the darkest part of the Heartless story (aka the part that looks the most hopeless).

(digging through story doc) General story beats you need to know for this mini fic are just that. This is after they convince Heart he is wanted, but Heart is not convinced he is needed, and his progress stagnates. Perseverance is too blunt about the issue and starts a MASSIVE argument between them. Heart, reminded of the thoughts and emotions he had in Apathy by the argument, relapses into random bouts of unconsciousness (luckily not back into a full coma like before).

Penitence blames Perseverance, Perseverance blames himself. He had just finished the chicken plush for Heart. He was building up the courage to give it to him. Now Penitence won't even let him be in the same ROOM as Heart. Or hear him out. Or interact with him. It's been 5 days since he last slept, the longest he has ever gone.

He manages something anyways. Sneaks in while Penitence is asleep and places the chicken plush into Heart's arms. He needs to give it to Heart before he tries what he's been considering for the last few days.

SO thats where we are for this little mini fic >:3.

Heart wakes up to a chicken plush.

---------------

The first thing he registers as consciousness crept back in was the gentle weight of something soft in his arms. He scrunched up his nose, weakly shifting his arms in an attempt to figure out what had been given to him. Finding the object was shaped too weirdly to be deduced, Heart sighed. He really didn't want to wake up and face Mind and Soul. Or well, just Soul these past few days. (Did Mind give up on him after hearing what he did? Is that why he hasn't come to see him? Stupid Heart acting on stupid Emotions too inefficient for him? He is unwanted, unneeded, just keep your eyes closed and push the emotions away and fade back into that blissful emptiness without hurt-)

There is a weight in his arms. Heart was always a curious creature. He slowly let one eye peek open, reluctance to face the dawn making the task difficult. A single, black buttoned eye stared back. Blinking both eyes open in shock, Heart gasped quietly.

It was a chicken plush. A small, round thing, made with familiar purplish-white fabric, black button eyes looking out and into him. It was a little lop-sided, sitting slanted in his arms, a more intense shade of purple peeking out from under its belly. Blackened fingers shivering from disbelief, Heart carefully tilted the plush onto its back, uncovering the orchid-coloured heart that sat sewn into its belly. A familiar, orchid-coloured heart.

It's the same one he had Soul sew onto all his hoodies. He runs a finger over the stitching around it, unwilling to believe it. But no, it is the same heart actually, he'd recognize the feeling of those stitches anywhere. Why would they-?

The sound of shuffling behind him had him hiking up his shoulders, arms curling protectively around his new possession. (When did he decide the plush was his? Maybe when he realized it was definitely made with him in mind.)

A hand on his shoulder gently shook him. {"Yo. If you're conscious, good morning Hear- what the fuck."} Heart tensed up at the curse, digging his fingers into the plush and curling around it, trying to hide it from view. (Please don't take this away from him. He hasn't quite processed the tangle of emotions that the plush brought him, but they are nice and warm emotions, and he wants to bask in nice and warm emotions for once.)

He heard Soul sputter behind him for a moment before sighing. The mattress dipped downwards behind his back, making Heart peek up at Soul's back. (It was still weird to him to see Soul wearing long sleeves. Even in the past, Soul would roll up the sleeve on everything he wore even if stolen from others. They never did tell him why that changed.)

He quickly looked away when he noticed Soul turning to face him, gently digging his fingers into the chicken plush in his arms. The chicken was much nicer to him than his halves had been anyway. So soft and squishy, its little button eyes unable to express judgement, only innocence. It made the long-lost feeling of happiness bubble up in his chest. Someone made this for him.

Soul's hand returning to his shoulder stole his attention again. {"...sorry for the poor response Heart, I was just surprised,"} Soul mumbled. Heart tilted his head slightly. Didn't Soul make the plush?

Confusion drove his leaden tongue into movement. ("I thought you made this...?")

{"What- I- no! I mean, I am making something for you- ignore what I just said it was supposed to be a surprise- point is, I didn't make this."}

Heart rolled over, staring wide eyed up at Soul. He didn't make this? But that only left... ("...Mind? I thought he hated me.")

He watched Soul's equally wide eyes blink back at him, forgetting in his shock that it had been days since he had shown this much energy, much less willingly met their gaze. He watched their mouth open and close silently before words finally escaped. {"Where did you get that idea?"}

Heart winced, looking away as days-old bitterness surged up his throat, turning his words to poison. ("He hasn't come by since we argued. He must hate me to stay far away like that, stupid Emotional Side making stupid decisions.")

Soul groaned behind him, muffled curses leaking through his red lips. Heart gently pet the chicken plush, letting the soft plush fabric calm him and remind him of his confusion. Mind made this? For him? For him.

{"I'm a fucking idiot."}

Heart tilted his head, curious to know more yet not wishing to face Soul again. Soul muttered before raising his voice once more, addressing Heart. {"Perseverance hasn't been avoiding you, Heart. I just haven't allowed the two of you to be in the same room as each other. I don't want another rela- another fight."}

(Curious, the word that Soul tripped over. Heart was almost certain he almost said "relapse". But Heart wasn't sick, he was doing just fine without the plague of emotions in his chest. He was finally being efficient. He promises.)

He grumbled quietly at the other implication in Soul's words instead. ("Of course it was you. It's always you.") Blackened fingers squeezed the plush in his hands firmly, feeling the shift of what must be pellets inside. ("Mind would never be able to stay away. Only you would keep us separate after a fight. Not like it worked well the last-") Choking on his anger and betrayal and hurt and bitterness, Heart shoved his face into the fabric of the chicken, shuddering. No. He cannot think about Apathy right now. The memory of it was too cold, and today he wants to stay awake and appreciate his new chicken plush.

Breathe. The chicken plush is soft and warm against his face. A rock in the tide of his returning emotions. He isn't sure he hated their return at the moment. Breathe. Mind cared about him, had made the weight that he was using to hide his face from the world. Breathe. Soul... probably did too. Separating them after fights was normal, and he did mention a gift he was working on too, even if by accident. Breathe.

A hand on his shoulder had him flinching away, rolling back over to face the wall. Soul's voice is quiet behind him. {"...I can go get Perseverance if you want?"}

Go get Mind, he means. Let them finally see each other face to face for the first time since the argument, he means. (Except that's not true, because Mind must have snuck in to gift the chicken plush. Heart feels grateful.) Heart nods shakily, exhaling a shivering, icy breath.

He waits until the door clicks closed before lifting his face from the plush. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he grimaces. That was definitely one of the downsides of letting his emotions back in, he decides, the choking flood.

Rolling back onto his back, he places the chicken plush on his chest, letting the unevenly sewn toy list sideways as his fingers explored its form, taking in its calming weight. A weak smile crawled over his lips as his fingers found uneven stitches at every seam. Mind never was too interested in crafts, making the effort it put in all the more touching, the emotion warm in his chest. This was something he missed about his emotions, he decides, the soothing warmth.

...he is going to ask why it had to use one of his hoodies though. He recognizes the colour and feel of the fabric. He's sure Mind would give him a logical reason, so it had better be a good one. (Whatever reason it was would already be a good one. The plush is warm and soft and safe, and it is a gift. It makes him, dare he admit it, happy.) Wrapping his arms around the chicken plush, he squeezed it against his chest, letting the warmth of the emotions it inspired ground him as he waited.

[randaccidents]

ANYWAYS I wanna talk about the variant of hanahaki I'm gonna run with for Tangled Wisteria. (tosses under the cut)

So firstly, just to be very very clear, this AU is a familial love AU. IDK why romantic hanahaki makes me ick. And also I can't stop seeing HMS as siblings HELP.

ON THAT NOTE. The way I'm angling for the trigger to Hanahaki developing is that one needs to simultaneously feel unloved by the person they care for, yearn deeply and intensely for that love AND feel like that love will never be returned. So feeling unloved but not yearning? Nothing. Yearning but not feeling unloved? Nothing. Feeling unloved and yearning but knowing if you ask you'll receive love? Nothing. DEEPLY yearning for a love you feel will never be returned? Hanahaki. The unrequitedness of the love MUST be felt as deeply and personally as possible.

I'm also doing a variant that combines both the baseline "flowers growing in your lungs that you cough up" and "flowers blooming across skin" (this second one is inspired by Therefore, You and Me). I've decided to lean into the lethality of hanahaki too hehe.

The tragedy of the flowers being visible and it doing nothing to get any of them help earlier is also tasty. That they could have seen the flowers and could have said something but didn't and allowed Heart to progress into late/end stage hanahaki.

What else am I missing. The progression of the hanahaki varies from person to person, but the beginning symptoms are always a cough and petals. The symptoms worsen over time as thin roots and branches spider out, dig in and bloom over a person's skin as the coughs get progressively worse with bigger and bigger blooms being coughed up. It worsens by the day, but can be sped up by what a person feels. For example an emotional breakdown might progress the disease faster. In the final stage the pain and lack of breath can knock someone unconscious.

Oh, and an additional tragedy. Remember how I said that this variant of hanahaki requires feeling like your love can never be reciprocated? Well. To cure this variant of hanahaki, reciprocation must be mutual. If the person you want love from says they love you and you dont believe them, well. The hanahaki will continue to progress. Guess what Heart thought when Mind and Soul desperately told him he was loved.

Of course surgery is a viable option of recovery. It's what Mind and Soul fall back on in desperation. For this hanahaki, removing flowers and branches removes the memories of the person/people you feel unrequited love towards, but not the emotions behind it. Even if the flowers in the lungs aren't removed, cutting off most of the skin blooming flowers can help ease all symptoms of hanahaki. Mostly cause you lose the memories the person.

And its a pretty brutal removal of the person! If the surgery is incomplete and any trace of flowers remain (such as for Heart), it's like your memories contain this weird cutout where a person should be, and a static over their voice and name. And you Actively Cannot Remember the person who got cut out! It causes a pain to build wherever the unremoved flowers are as the hanahaki attempts to reestablish and flare back up. It's a weird state of remembering you loved and wanted to be loved by someone without remembering who that someone was, and while it keeps the hanahaki at bay it also makes it WAY more difficult to cure naturally.

So yeah, those are the broad strokes of how hanahaki is going to work in Twisted Wisteria. Hope you like it, cause all of HMS will contract hanahaki over time :3

[randaccidents]

Anyways this is me pushing my personal headcanon that HMS know morse code instead of sign language onto Heartless. Yknow. For both the sillies and the angst?

Silles: pre roe Soul spamming the word RUN on the walls because he's got the zoomies, pre roe Mind who learnt it first using it as a harmless way to swear at Heart until Heart picked it up too then it became open swearing, post recovery Heart slamming on the door with his crutch the word FOOD because he doesnt feel like getting up today thank you, post recovery them talking through the walls using morse admitting that today is a sleep together day please come over

Angst: Heart in Apathy quietly tapping out SOS over and over on dirt floors, Perseverance and Penitence having to communicate in taps for a few days after the Oath because of neck bruising, Perseverance and Penitence having non-verbal days and communicating by tapping on each others arms, Heart upon intial awakenings being so unwilling to face them as he relapses that he faces the wall and taps out LEAVE over and over again

Look at all the POSSIBILITIES

[randaccidents]

Quietly realizing that the recovery/future part of Heartless is no longer just about helping Heart recover.

It's about recovery for all of them. (self harm tw)

It's not just about reminding Heart is he loved and needed and wanted, its not just about helping Heart through the grief of loss, its not just about helping Heart learn to live his new normal anymore.

It's also about helping Perseverance relearn self-regulation. Its about assuring Perseverance that it is finally safe to stop and rest. It is about fixing Perseverance's sleeping habits.

It's also about helping Penitence find peace with himself. Its about helping Penitence learn to ignore the whispers of self-blame and the itching need to punish himself. Its about reminding Penitence that he is not truly Atlas.

And Heart plays a role in Perseverance and Penitence's healing! Just as Perseverance and Penitence play a role in Heart's healing! Even if he doesnt realize what he's doing. Heart begs Perseverance to sleep with him because Perseverance is nice and warm. Heart holds Penitence's hands and keeps them occupied and away from his own arms with little hobbies and games.

(Perseverance and Penitence cant pull each other out on their own. Shared trauma breeds shared responsibility and shared pain.)

The only way to leave the pit is to accept someone else's help.

[randaccidents]

Thinking of HMS doing stuff during concord that they did during cacophony, just with a different and more lighthearted context, resulting in different and more lighthearted decisions and results.

Serious fights and arguments in cacophony becoming playful wrestling and banter in concord.

The Juno Incident in cacophony is the Nerf Gun Incident in concord, where Heart went around with a Nerf gun shooting people.

In my interpretation of events, Heart attempting to silence Mind by stealing the voice modulator in cacophony becoming a playful fight where Mind decided that the only reaction is to use other means to make Noise.

Just... the endless recontextualisation of how they interact with each other. From lighthearted fun to anger and pain and back again, endlessly.

[randaccidents]

Yknow what I'm asking the fanbase on this one actually but.

WHERE in the album does it say that Soul is VIOLENT to H+M? Like

He insults them sure, calls them deviants and cysts, and he has a trident and authority but-

The only times he threatened violence in the songs, its always self-inflicted violence. Its always a suicide threat, not a "Imma stab you if you don't stop" kind of thing.

And speaking of, ROE and Mucka Blucka don't mention Soul being violent or consigning Heart to Apathy either. If anything, it proves that only H+M are violent.

"He (Juno) shot at the sun with a gun" "Mechanical hands decided where the Heart should be"

So why is fanon Soul so aggro and violent and always hurting H+M? Im confused.

[randaccidents]

The people need to know.

The people need to know that Penitence had a punk phase before his current eclectic look.

WHY ELSE WOULD HE OWN CHAINS (its because of the imagery of Soul being chained to the loops and by his own responsibility but I think saying that Penitence had an punk phase is funnier even if Im never drawing it)

[randaccidents]

Aight I'm awake and writing this in class :3

So, what's up with the shadows in this post? Is that Whole? Ehhh yes and no. That's just a shadow.

Kind of like in Light.

"But wait isn't that Whole" EXACTLY. Whole is a shadow.

And here's where my interpretation steps in. (tossing in a read more this got long)

I think that HMS have always been Whole, in dissonance and harmony alike. There is no higher being they will become when they are harmonious, there is no total being that they make up. They ARE Whole, and there is no Whole. (side note I'm using the "mental illness as a loop" interpretation instead of an actual time loop, there is potential for growth)

So if there is no Whole, why does the shadow exist?

A shadow tends to be what's haunting you, and not what you aspire to be in the mirror. I see HMS pursuing becoming Whole as literally chasing their own shadow, something that doesn't exist yet is still inherently themselves.

Whole, to me, is a shadow that is cast when HMS are together. 'Whole' is a concept that they chase, so he is the concept that they cast.

HMS doesn't reflect Whole, Whole reflects HMS.

As a kind of additional slap to the face, his name is not Whole or Harmonia. He is less than HMS are after all, nor is he the ideal human they are chasing. He is "a sad sulking mess, this human you're being", so he is not Whole. He is also formed regardless of dissonance or harmony as long as they are together, so he is not Harmonia.

His name is Me. ("I AM ME")

There is no god here for you to find. At the end of your faith, there is only Me and Me and Me. You are the gods and titans you have always searched for, Apollo and Artemis and Atlas.

[randaccidents]

Special mention to a very specific details about Heartless!HMS that a forgot to mention.

None of them know proper first aid. At All.

Like oh they know to put pressure on a cut, to use antiseptic and iodine and how much pressure they should use when wrapping gauze. They know not to put ice on burns and use running water instead. They know they can use ice on a bruised eye or lip. They know that a headache means a nap, and a heartache means no lying down.

But they don't know when to use iodine, or if its even necessary sometimes. They dont know you need to wrap burns and rope burns looser than normal to prevent further injury. They don't know how to tie a sling, or properly support a broken bone other than "use a stick I guess". They don't know how to stitch up larger wounds.

This means that they don't know how to handle the events that pop up during Heartless. How to take care of an unconscious and cold person. How to treat rope burns. How to treat chemical burns. How to stop a larger slash wound from bleeding and close it properly.

They are Not Equipped For The Situation and they Will mess up trying to fix things. The medical inaccuracies are a feature.

[randaccidents]

I would like to share my existing Souls, their belief system and the corresponding trident design because I drew it on a range and it is hilarious to me.

Sliding idiot scale from stab to no stab + how Weapon the trident actually is

(gotta love how I do in fact have three completely different Soul designs, ignoring in universe design changes *stares at Penitence*)

[randaccidents]

Intro Post thingie!!!

Finally making an intro post <3

So hi! Welcome to where I make Random Accidents happen!

Just call me Randa, any pronouns work for me I don't have a preference. I'm a creative who specialized a little too heavily into writing and worldbuilding :3

I'm also randaccident13 on AO3!

Unfortunately my dear mutuals, I am old (sike I'm in my early 20s), and unfortunately further to half my mutuals, my timezone is GMT +8. (I simply sleep at ass o clock in the morning)

Main Tags:

Art: #rand.art (my old tag is #my art, I couldn't be bothered to change all the way back 4 years of work)

Writing: #rand.writ (my old tag is #my writing, I couldn't be bothered to change all the way back 4 years of work)

Headcanons: #rand.hc

Me talking shit: #rambles

RP related stuff (cause I cant stop chattering about it it has consumed my brain): #rp chatter

Answered asks: #reply

Current interests

Currently? CCCC/Chonny Jash. Guys I am so insane about it.

There's also a side of: Minecraft (I never left the mine), Hermitcraft, WTNV, Fallen London (sorta), MILGRAM Project, Hollow Knight/Silksong (please please please release this year) and Honkai Star Rail

AUs

Cause they are getting CLUTTERED around here, here's a list of all the AUs I have currently:

Heartless AU (Masterpost here)

Tangled Wisteria AU (currently no masterpost, use #Tangled Wisteria AU)

Lie of Concord AU (currently no masterpost, use #Lie of Concord AU)

Tridential Whole (just my personal interpretation that went a little wild, use #Tridential Whole)

Rotten Faith over on @tridential-sauce

(And for the oldies here: #shadow people au <- this the tag for all my writing under SPAU when I was still part of the community)

I've got my ask box open and I'm always open for interaction! And asks! I'm an AU writer after all, asks might inspire something (most likely angsty sdfnsjk). But beware that I might ghost you if you spook me with a random DM or ask.

Credit for dividers goes to cafekitsune

[randaccidents]

Random little thing before I shower but

Sleeping Heartless HMS the person in the middle changes depending on who needs the comfort that day and they have ENTIRELY different piles.

Heart likes being squished at the sides, Perseverance likes being buried, Penitence just wants his hands to be held.

(yes directly related to their reasons for needing sleep together days)

On days where multiple of them need le comfort they just. Messed up pile of limbs. The point is to be there for one another so draw them as piled up as you want uwu.

[randaccidents]

Yknow what I'm bored and I want to talk about the powers of the trident in Lie of Concord. Because its the ONLY trident in all of the aus that include any powers at all. (and also because in rp we FINALLY have the trident in someone else's hands)

So the trident. Quite literally its just a tool. The power you gain from it is reflective of the person holding it and like any tool or weapon it does not grant any protection from the power that is gifted. So for example Host is not immune to his own fire. It does take some concentration and focus to gain a proper control over the powers though, and takes time to learn how to direct it properly.

Within Lie of Concord, Host gets two powers: fire and healing. Healing came first, when he was still kind and had yet to snap. AFTER he snapped though... it was surprising to have fire spring to life on the tines of the trident afterwards. Because Host had changed while still wielding the trident, the trident recognized both who he used to be and who he has become and adjusted accordingly. Host spent a few loops.... experimenting with what he might be able to do more creatively on Juno and Ruler. Nowadays, ten thousand loops in, its almost second nature for him to summon the fire or the healing to the trident, and he has some tricks up his sleeve for creative uses.

And the powers aren't limited to Host either! If Juno or Ruler got their hands on the trident and tried to force something out of it, they'd each have their own specific power (I was thinking of ice for Juno and electricity for Ruler). Another fun thing is that the powers CAN be combined as well! So say if Juno and Ruler both held the trident, they would have electrified ice crystals instead.

Another important thing about the trident: there is a specific and unique power that is granted to any HMS that has reached concord and collectively holds the trident OR to a Whole. The trident, when it recognizes harmonization, unlocks the power over time. AKA, if Host just allowed himself to harmonize with his ids, he would have the solution to the time loops in his hands. It is literally right under his nose.

IN RP THOUGH. Because we got into a situation where Heartless!Heart and Jashwriting!Mind now share the trident. It means I had to come up with New Powers for them aughhhh and @hhoneycloves doesn't want to spill too much about Jashwriting so I went with the most surface level thing ever for JWr!Mind.

JWr!Mind gets red strings. I won't say too much more, because I believe that honey has not actually spoken much about this part of the AU publically yet haha. But I did toss it together on an incredibly surface understanding of this character so I don't have much explanation.

Heartless!Heart on the other hand. He got sunshine. Literal sunshine. He can create beams of warm, comforting light. Oh but sometimes they explode in a lot of sound, although it doesn't cause any harm. This does mean that for the time being it doesn't give him any combat advantages.

They've also had a taste of their combined trident power. The strings Mind can summon flare up in light and eventually explode loudly but harmlessly thanks to Heart. They haven't tested it much more than that though.

The power of that trident is only limited by your control and imagination. You can do a lot with it.

[randaccidents]

I dunno if it was mentioned before (if it was then uhhhhh just link the post where it was) but how does Soul copes with Heart situations? Because yes, Mind copes by just keeping himself busy, and trying to find a solution. But I can't recall what Soul do. Does they just helps him? Or something more? :^

evil little grin finally. a Penitence ask. about the worst possible thing >:)))

tbh I was gonna explain this in the Penitence character ref lmao

TW for self harm and suicide attempt (the traditional media depiction way this time) + probably inaccurate depiction pls I am trying dont come after me qwq

(IT KEEPS GETTING LONG I have too many thoughts and some might come out wrong)

So I think I mentioned here that both Perseverance and Penitence take Heart's condition poorly and develop incredibly poor and self destructive coping mechanisms in response. But I never talked about Penitence.

Soul is devastated. There is a trauma to finding what is basically the dead body of your brother and Knowing that its been almost a week since the first mention of Heart being unconscious (even if neither of them knew it at the time). He is their vessel and he is his brother's keeper, and he has failed horrendously at both jobs.

{He has the best understanding of how the three of them operate, but even Soul doesn't know whats wrong. Heart isn't dead. Yet. He doesn't know what to do.}

Outside of crying, he holds it together pretty well the first 10 days honestly, compared to Mind. Soul is a little more focused early on in keeping shit together. He takes on a sort of main caretaker/nurse role, monitoring and observing Heart while also eventually forcing Mind to sleep.

The thing is that sitting silently next to an unconscious body gives him time to think (something Mind has been avoiding ironically). His first coping mechanism is to scrape his memory of loops on loops on loops on loops to find something, anything similar, anything that might help him fix this problem that he has created. Because he created this problem didn't he? He condemned Heart to Apathy.

There is nothing. This is a first in the loops. Both extending the punishment and Heart's condition. The realisation breaks Soul. He has never messed up this badly before, and he is the worst version of himself. The guilt and grief is overwhelming.

On day 10 Mind wakes from a dream and walks in on Soul attempting to hang himself.

The rest of the day is a mess, and they make an Oath together afterwards. Neither of them is allowed to give up unless they both have. [A promise to persevere] {A promise to repent}

For the rest of the AU, Penitence picks up the significantly more destructive coping mechanism of cutting himself on the tines of his trident. {Hebrews 9:22: In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.} {Penitence seeks forgiveness more than anything.}

Its his own form of punishment, seeing as Heart can't punish him the way he thinks he deserves. The pain is unwelcome entirely, and does nothing for his thoughts and guilt. Truthfully, the act makes him worse, but punishment is not meant to be nice, and it is penitence and it is repentance. {Repentance, like what he demanded of Heart before leaving him in Apathy. Did repentance help Heart? He is repentant anyway.}

It is a quiet thing, just like how Perseverance's overworking is a quiet thing.

He stops wearing short sleeves and short pants around the house. He wears Heart's hoodie instead. If Perseverance doesnt see he can't be burdened by what he does. [Perseverance knows, knows, knows despite that. The trident drips red. He bandages Penitence daily. He says nothing anyways. He knows this is the price to keep the noose packed away.]

Despite the poor coping mechanism, Penitence does help a lot. He makes sure Heart is comfortable and not freezing his already cold arms off. He cooks and makes sure Perseverance eats and sleeps. He helps monitor and observe and record changes in Heart's condition (even if the record remains "no change" for days).

{When Heart wakes and relapses and wakes and relapses, Penitence takes most of the anger and betrayal and screaming crying accusing that Heart spits at him. He tries his best to shield Perseverance from justified anger by taking it all on himself.}

He scratches at his cuts often. He doesn't allow the cuts to heal. He runs the tines of his trident over any that do. The pain and shakiness of his limbs is a reminder of his crime. He knows this is unsustainable and unhealthy. He can't stop himself, just like how Perseverance can't stop himself either.

Self-blame is one of the worst fates you can inflict on yourself.