#random person: wow that’s your partner?? what’s he like?🥰

[electric-plants]

i like haino who are heart achingly in love soulmates who cannot live without one another but respond to questions about what the other person is like with a thumbs up and no elaboration

[stardew-shitposterino]

Most to least likely Stardew Valley Bachelor to be lovey dovey in a relationship

Ok peeps, I’m in the mood for some random posting. Since some of you enjoy it, I’ll commit to it ! Why not 🤷🏼‍♀️so let’s goooo✈️

Oh and btw: a bit of NSFW again because I’m a degenerate lol. Soz to the minors 🫣

1. Elliott:

-Elliott is the obvious choice, isn’t he ?

-this man has no chill when it comes to showing you how much he loves you

-he isn’t huge on baby talk, but he’s huge on medieval Shakespearean reenactment to show his love to you

-you might not always understand where his play on words come from, but it sure as hell makes you blush like a mess

-whenever you and him have a sleepover, he leaves a note on your table that reminds you of how much he adores you! So cute 🥰

-flowers, romantic dates, evenings spent at the pub sitting on his lap while he caresses your hair, marvelling at it with a slightly drunken gaze and red cheeks 😫🫡😍😏

-…I just know that guy eats you out like no other…I said what I said 🥸

2. Sam

-ok hear me out! Before you come for my throat, I think he is more likely to be very love drunken than some of the other choices. It’s a close call for the second place, but I believe he deserves it

-overused but I don’t care: he has the golden retriever energy. Maybe it’s his ADHD, but regardless, he’s a pure boy

-he might be a little anxiously attached to you because he won’t leave your side during your honeymoon phase

-he wants to hold your hand or touch you in some way all the time. He just loves having you close 🥺

-expect him to kiss you senseless whenever he can. Preferably in private because he doesn’t want his mum to find out through bystanders, that would be embarrassing. Other than that, he wouldn’t care for the life of him. If he can pepper your neck with little kissies, he will

-speaking of kisses: he’s generally a huge fan of intense make out sessions. He prefers them over sex any time. Not that he doesn’t like the other stuff, but to him, it just hits different

-imagine that blushy, heated face when you pull away 😳 eyes hazy and hair even more disheveled than before, just adoringly gazing back into yours and smiling ever so slightly (😩😭🫨)

3. Alex

-“still no Harvey?! What’s wrong with you!?”

-I know I KNOW. I know that Harvey is a sweet boy in the game who tells you a lot of cute stuff, but idk. Something about Alex makes me believe he will be more likely the kind of partner to be sweet and a bit cringe yet adorable when it comes to the person he loves

-he might not be a poet, but he shows his adoration in other ways

-back 👏🏻 hugs 👏🏻

-generally hugging you? He will do it all the time. Any time. He will climb through your small living room window to hug you at least once a day if he has to

-for some reason, he likes kissing your arms. Don’t ask me to elaborate, he just does. Like kissing them up and down. Oh and your thighs 👀 it doesn’t even necessarily lead to anything explicit, he just loves them so much

-he will tell you how you’re the love of his life and how he cannot wait to see you two grow old together. He will lay in bed with you, maybe just watching tv and randomly blurt out something like this: “wow, who would have thought that we’d end up like this, meeting in this tired town. Having you by my side, I might be the luckiest guy to ever exist.”

-Alex frequents the beach to talk to his deceased mother. It’s kinda sweet in a way because he will talk to her about the things happening in his life. Pre-dating as well as in the midst of your relationship, he tells her so much about you, wishing she was still alive to have met you as you are the best thing that has ever happened to him 😭

-Alex is a hunky boy, but he loves bathing with you :3 something about it just makes him feel extremely euphoric 🥰 but he will cup your boobs the whole time lmfao (no matter what kind you have). That might also lead to him kissing your neck the whole time till both of you are in the mood 😶‍🌫️👀

4. Harvey

-Harvey at forth ?! HARVEY?! COME OOOON

-yes, I know. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t cute and affectionate with you ! This ranking is pretty close as all of the bachelors have their qualities that make them good partners 🥺 it’s just based on my own headcanons or assumptions about what they might be like

-ok so Harvey is a little anxious mess but LOVES to be a real gentleman when he’s in love

-I’m talking putting on his finest Jazz and dancing with you in your living room, slow dancing while just enjoying each other’s closeness 👀😍

-Harvey shows his affection mostly through everyday things. Like making you coffee in the morning or cleaning up for you. Not to mention peppering you when you’re sick as well as doing small gestures that show you that he cares and wants to make the effort for you

-Harvey LOVES to put your foreheads together while holding you close. Since he’s way taller than you, he has to crouch a little in order to make it work (it’s so cute omfg 😭😤🥰😍💀🫣🫨😫)

-forehead kisses too 😭👏🏻😫 he’s all about soft, sweet affection

-there are many headcanons about spicy Harvey and I get where this is coming from, but I do believe that his sweet, pure side is predominant. Like yes he will want to sleep with you, you’re a couple and he’s not asexual, so why wouldn’t he want to do that 🤷🏼‍♀️

-speaking of this, he loves to lay in bed with you in your post-coital state. Like of course he enjoys the deed, but what he enjoys even more is the after math that consists of laying together, skin to skin, just talking or laying there in silence and enjoying each other. It gives him the feeling of being one with you, of growing even closer than before 🥺

5. Sebastian

-Sebby can be a really cute guy once he lets his guard down, but I don’t think he is the most obvious in love even when he is very infatuated with you

-he just isn’t that kind of guy, you know?

-Sebastian loves to cuddle with you in bed, especially while playing video games. His room is his safe space and sharing that space with you while doing something he enjoys, it’s just perfect to him

-he will show you how much he likes you by taking you on small adventures despite being a homebody. He didn’t fix up that motorcycle for nothing. Just you and him outside, discovering new places. It’s something he doesn’t offer to just anyone

-in public, he’s very reserved and doesn’t feel comfortable showing his affection, but at home? He latches on you and won’t let go. Of course he needs his space every once in a while, but it’s not rare for him to try and crawl under your shirt with you just to feel your warmth (he’s very cold most of the time)

-he loves touching your tummy. Ok ok I know this one is controversial but he just loves it. When you’re a little soft and he can grab onto something soft and warm? Oh boy, he will….he will 👁️ he also loves kissing your abdomen. Again, don’t ask me, I have my reasons

-when it comes to intimacy, he surprisingly prefers giving over taking. I have a feeling he prefers non-penetrative sex more ? At least speaking of “traditional” straight sex. Again, don’t ask, I cannot explain. So I imagine when he’s in a relationship with an AFAB farmer, he will want to either eat them out or finger them senseless because it brings him pleasure. It’s very specific I know but it feels right🤷🏼‍♀️

6. Shane

-you all know by now that I have a mild obsession with this guy, but yeah…I gotta admit he isn’t cutting it in this ranking

-it’s not that he isn’t capable of giving a lot of love, but he has his barriers that keep him from showing his love freely

-he will get there eventually, but before that, he’s very…well…tense ? He has a hard time initiating romantic gestures or telling you nice things

-again it’s not because he doesn’t want to, it’s that he is in his own head too much that he cannot garner the courage to do so. You’re dating but he still suspects it’s all a tasteless joke on him

-in those moments when Shane beats his inner critics, he can be such a sweetheart omfg

-I’m speaking kissing you behind your ear, caressing your waist and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He isn’t very eloquent most of the time, but when the moment is right, he just knows what to say to you to make you feel loved

-Shane is the type of person to show his affection through mild bullying and joking around. He might be calling you a dwarf or giant (depending on your height difference) make fun of little things you do that he notices, but it’s never in bad taste. He always makes sure you know it’s just silly banter that usually ends in you two fighting playfully and then tumbling on top of each other, laughing and kissing 🥺🥰

-this man, this man loves when you sleep on his chest. On a lazy Sunday watching tv or just when he wakes up in the morning, noticing your head’s weight on him. It makes him feel useful, like he can protect you (let’s ignore that the farmer slays monsters as a side hustle, k). He will kiss your head ever so softly and whisper how much he loves you while doing it 😌

-if you want him to be the kind to hold your hand in public or kiss you, you’ve set your money on the wrong horse (rehab was supposed to be a fresh start), because he is not that kind of man, sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️ he will start to do it once he gets comfortable enough with you, but it’s not that much. PDA just isn’t in it with this guy 😤

-his spicy side? He has plenty spice, but when he’s in the mood for some romance, he likes it slow and sensual. It’s a bit out of character for him, but sometimes he just wants to enjoy your presence and the slow build up of excitement and arousal. Expect him to enjoy guided self-pleasure. Picture it like this: he sits behind you, taking your hand and guiding it through the process of what you’d do to yourself 🫣 while, again, whispering hot stuff in your ear (yeah my version of him is into whispering lmfao). That’s the good stuff 😫

[alea-says]

H50 Season 6 episode 11 thoughts...

What?!! It's the couples retreat episode???

I am down for this!

This is beautiful.

I am both sympathetic to and jealous of that poor woman stuck between them on the flight.

And now Danny is mentioning giving Steve a lap dance. A lap dance.

There are so many ways he could have chosen to say that and he says lap dance!

And now the woman is thinking about Danny and lap dances. Me too, girl, me too.

Danny wants to watch Pitch Perfect 2. Good taste, Danny!

Brocation!

And now we have Adam and Kono doing the prison visit thing (I'd just like to point out the parallels to the Steve and Danny prison visit at the beginning of s2...)

Back to Steve and Danny.

Soap concierge! Love the way Steve uses it as an excuse to cop a feel of Danny's skin.

Also, I love Danny's Sass- he's been using soap for 39 years and doesn't need any help

I think Steve wants to help you, Danny

Steve has their whole day planned. Of course he does. At this point Danny's not even arguing with him.

Steve mentions he's been texting Alissa. Danny has to point out he has a girlfriend (he does? is he still with Amber/Melissa? I forgot about her...)

But basically, boys trying to make each other jealous.

Including Steve's dug that he had to talk to Alissa cos Danny was busy with his movie. Uh, Steve, your desire for his attention is showing.

I'd also like to note Steve being impressed with the dolphins and pointing them out to Danny and the fact that in the very first episode, Steve gave Danny a trip to a hotel where you can swim with the dolphins for Danny and Grace. So... just saying.... dolphins are a recurring theme here.

Steve: I'm Steve, this is my partner, Danny *proprietary puts his hand on Danny's back as he introduces him - not like there can be any mistake who he's talking about, but he still has to touch him)

Steve's fake smile at the thought of leaving his phone behind.

The way Steve's head jerks to the side to look at the sign as soon as the therapist mentions sex.

He doesn't mind calling Danny partner or getting up in his space, etc, but the mention of sex is what rattles him.

(Which is more evidence for my theories on dadt and Steve, but I'll make that another post)

Steve, consumate SEAL he is, decides they can make it work.

Oh wow. Stev is so uncomfortable admitting he made a mistake in registering them for couples therapy.

Why are you still here?

Very good question, random person in therapy, I would also like to know!

So does Danny.

The principles apply to all relationships, including working partnerships. You feel it Lorraine! (But that's also true)

Lol.

Loraine: I've spoken to Steve and Danny about their partnership and it is fraught with some very serious problems.

And yes, random dude in therapy, Steve and Danny are married, thank you for noticing.

And they're holding hands. 🥰

Steve: this is great for us

Danny: I hate you

(And, I'd just like to point out that as per the trapped under building episode, Danny says he hates Steve as a way to say he loves him)

Three-legged race!

I see your competitive sides, boys, being out in the front like that!

And now Steve is talking evasive maneuvers. Danny wants to win.

Make sure he stays on his back til I get back???? What are you saying, Steve?

Steve texting Alissa to reaffirm his heterosexuality so he can then go back and comfortably be all over Danny.

And it looks like Danny has injured his ankle.

Thanks Steven.

Loraine: everybody take note, because that's exactly the kind of partner you want by your side in a crisis. Note his caring, loving and gentle touch.

Steve sneaking back into the room like he needs to hide he's been out.

Danny: You're a former navy SEAL. What happened to stealth mode?

(Also, can I just say, I really appreciate Danny not sleeping in a shirt)

And no Steve has to make sure Danny was paying attention to him even though Danny wasn't out with him.

And now Steve's going on about how the whole trip was for them to reconnect and have fun (while he still has lipstick smeared round his mouth). Steve! Danny wants you to actually commit to him.

(OK, Danny is so hot like that. Arms and chest and yes. )

Steve, I think Danny's more upset that it was in pursuit of a girl than that his ankle got hurt, ok.

Danny giving a speech on being there for each other being enough, even if you fight.

Steve: well guys, I really feel we made some progress here this morning.

No! Not Kamekona's brother (though I expected it)

Aww. Chin giving Kamekona a book on getting rich.

I'm sorry. Did Steve just? He did!

Steve, walking up to Danny: What's up, good looking?

And now he explains he blew off Alissa to hang with Danny instead.

And Steve has to still give an excuse.

Steve telling Danny not to question his commitment to his family. And also needing ti pint out the importance of Danny meeting him.

And now they're sharing food.

And now Steve's feeling Danny's hand. And Danny's suggesting he give it a rub and also feel his arm. And Steve just said Danny's arm is like the pillows (we know you wan too sleep with your head on his arm Steve)

That has to be some of the most laden 'platonic' flirting I have ever seen.

Oh man I need to gif this entire episode. And maybe watch it again. And again.