#ransome stanley

[onenakedfarmer]

Daily Painting

Ransome Stanley GREEN CAT (2013)

[martyrbat]

i miss hockey but everytime i even watch old games or clips i feel myself about to throw up and kinda hyperventilate and just feel even more dreadful because i now associate it so strongly with my mothers heart attack which. interesting how brains work i guess but also i want background noise on something that used to be very comforting and i want to see this large and sweaty man do his stupid celebration after a goal so its kinda just a massive bummer

[mariocki]

The Saint: The Queen's Ransom (5.1, ITC, 1966)

"You realise that a few years ago I could have had your head chopped off for that?"

"A few years back, I wouldn't have said it."

[4thwallbreakerdraws]

IT IS TIME PEOPLE

Since Kat asked to show off Self-insert OCs for the Blank Script AU, I thought it would be the perfect time to introduce my own self-insert OC to you.

Meet Xaviar Bellon, businessman and employees at Innova Corp. who also works as correspondent between his and Black’s company.

Basic information:

Xaviar is 26 years old, male and goes by he/him. Neck, part of his face and back as well as his complete right arm are replaced through cybernetics. They cannot be removed as they are parts of his body. He’s your typical rich boy who often acts like a snob and putting his main focus on the profit.

Personality:

Like mentioned before Xaviar often comes of as a snob who likes to brag about his wealth. He’s also very cocky to those around him, not afraid to give a snappy comment. However, he’s also a massive coward, immediately losing his entire attitude when he feels like his life is threatened and becoming a nervous wreck. Xaviar does not believe in actions without benefit or rather doesn’t see the significance I’m actions if they don’t benefit him. So love for him is just people wanting to use him or his money, same goes for friendships.

Deep down Xaviar is deeply insecure about his looks and existence. Without money he thinks he’s worth nothing and weak. Ever since he got parts of his body replaced, he also questions if he’s even really human anymore, reacting especially aggressive when someone calls him a robot.

Backstory:

Xaviar grew up in a rich family with two younger brothers. Due to their successful and wealthy status it made them targets in the eyes of people who felt mistreated, gangs and other criminal groups. While his parents always warned him about leaving home without any sort of security, Xaviar ignored them until the day he was kidnapped and held for ransom.

Due to his family refusing to pay ransom, Xaviar was supposed to be killed, but managed to free himself and fight his kidnappers. However this quickly escalated and ended in an explosion that killed almost all of the kidnappers and injured Xaviar heavily.

But even in that condition, his family did not pay his treatment, leaving it to Xaviar to pay everything on his own and making realize then that without money you’re nothing and that it’s the only thing you can rely on.

Despite that however he never founded his own company, instead traveling from company to company who often searched for any way to get rid of him due to his cocky behavior.

His little travel eventually led him to Innova Corp. where every employee immediately started hating him in the span of a few days. However, the boss is too afraid to catch a bad reputation by firing him so this is where Xaviar resides for now. That doesn’t mean however that his boss doesn’t send him to a certain life threatening parable.

Xaviar and the parable:

Before we go into the specific people and how Xaviar thinks of them it should be of note that Xaviar does not like visiting the parable. It creeps him out, it makes him question his sanity and he would rather not think about half the things he witnesses there. Yet he still continues to work there for the money. His job is being the middleman between Innova Corp. and Black, informing the narrator over new business ideas, opportunities and offering some advice.

Black:

Xaviar doesn’t know what exactly it is about the Narrator that creeps him out more. The eyes? The height? The weird heavy feeling he gets whenever he’s around? Maybe all of it. Fact is that the Narrator has his whole respect and attention whenever he grazes Xaviar with his presence.

Stanley:

Now Stanley is another story. His introverted attitude and slightly malnourished look don’t exactly make Xaviar respect him in any way, if anything he’s below him. Still, Xaviar is aware of Blacks and Stanley’s relationship and therefore does his best to be as nice as possible to Stanley in the Narrators presence. That fake smile however immediately drops when they are alone.

The Children:

The stuff of Caviars nightmares. You would have to pay him very good money to get him anywhere near these monstrosities. Unfortunately he had a meeting with one right on his first day in the parable which left him a bit traumatized even though he didn’t even saw it’s face. If anything keeps Xaviar out of the lower levels, it’s them.

The Maiden:

While they are still creepy to Xaviar, he doesn’t fear them as much as any the Children. They are robots, they work on calculations and orders. He knows as long as he doesn’t accidentally get on Blacks bad side, he doesn’t need to fear them. They even protect him. So he’s a lot more relaxed with them. At least after he got used to them randomly showing up out of now where.

Mariella:

Much like Stanley, he doesn’t have an ounce of respect for her, but he stays away. There is something about this woman that makes him think that she wouldn’t hesitate to stab or beat him up right in the spot.

I don’t know Xaviar, maybe it’s because you have a very punchable personality

Other Blank Script AU Self Inserts and Xaviar:

Sies ( @corelex):

Since Sies gives him a similar vibe to Black, he is decent enough to know when to back off with the short jokes. Yet, he also doesn’t get as appalled from her as from the others, as he understands her to some degree or at least what it’s like to be judged based on rumors. He’s also trying to get to hire her as her bodyguard but fails miserably.

Steve ( @xandyprojects):

While the chef is by far one of the most neutral inhabitants of the parable, Xaviar can’t help but get slightly nervous whenever he takes a knife in his hand. Steve’s no food gets wasted rule and his spoiled mannerisms also slightly clash which often ends in him getting picked up like a wet cat.

To you others out there, I’m always happy to let our sillies interact more🫵

Other Fun Facts:

Xaviar loves to skateboard and is quite good at it

Despite his declaration that children are like the plague, he likes them (but would never admit it)

he goes to therapy

Xaviar gets freaked out by fire and loud noises

Xaviar can often be seen scratching or brushing over his prosthetic arm

he doesn’t like looking into mirrors

Despite trying to avoid his family, he still visits their parties to keep up his image

He would scam you

he’s the type of businessman who you immediately shut the door in the face

Xaviars cybernetic face parts can extend into a full face mask, but he rarely uses it as it makes him look even more inhuman

Other images:

Bonus:

X, my self insert Maiden who I’ve been neglecting lmao

WOW YOU HAVE REACHED THE END!! Can you tell who of these two OCs is my favorite? /silly

@blackkatdraws2

[the-unspeakable-tsar]

Kidnapping The Grunk

In 2018, I was 17. I wrote a Gravity Falls/Rick and Morty crossover fic called "Kiddnapping The Grunk". I'm 23 now, and I was looking at my ao3 account, and I saw it. So, I decided to rewrite the fic. The original person who wanted me to write the fic no longer exists on Tumblr. But here's the new version in its entirety.

Stan’s eyes opened up into complete darkness. He started to move but found his limbs stiff and wrapped in something. He was stuck and started thrashing around. He’d gotten it into his head that he was twisted up in his bedsheets again and started screaming.

“Oh god! Soos! Get the jaws of life! Get some snips or somethin’! I’m stuck!” he shouted.

“Nobody’s gonna help you out here, ole man,” said a strange voice from the dark.

“Who’s that?” said Stan. His tone was not so much panicked but annoyed. “Robbie Valentino, this better not be some stupid prank. I’m not playing around with you and Wendy’s games anymore!”

A new voice chimed in, making robotic tutting, “Nah, you don’t get it do ya?” We’re holding your ass for ransom.”

“Ransom?” said Stan. He considered the thought for a moment. “If you cut me in on this, I can get my brother to fork over some more cash. I know he’s good for it.”

“Shut the fuck up!” shouted the first voice. “If your scrawny boy toy doesn’t deliver the Smidgens we want, we’re going to slit your Cromdamned throat!”

“Boy toy? What the heck are you talking about?” he asked and received a smack across the face for it.

Everyone who surrounded him began to laugh as Stan’s head spun.

“Don’t play dumb,” he said. “You were rolling heavy with Rick Sanchez in this part of the galaxy for ten years. Suppose your spastic lust pet doesn’t show up; we’re going to cut your head off and bury you somewhere like a vampire.”

“Who?” asked Stan.

---

A large green portal opened up into a land covered in prone grease grease-slicked grandmothers. Two aged scientists stepped out and into the town. The residents of the town looked at them with fascination. Stanford Pines looked down at his tracker pad, which pinged with a map of this area and the little tracker.

“I cannot believe that my brother has gotten wrapped up in your nonsense, Sanchez,” he said. 

“Better believe it,” said Rick Sanchez, punctuating his brief statement with a burp. 

“You’re lucky I didn’t kill you myself. What are they? Flansians? Predators? The Tall Whites?” asked Stanford, rapidly firing his questions at Rick.

“Beats the hell out of me,” said Rick. “If they’re after me through, Stan I’ll take care of them. Don’t worry your prissy little head about it.” 

Rick reached over and started tussling Stanford’s hair drunkenly, only for Ford to take his hand away. “None of that!”

“You can’t still be angry because I didn’t call you after our night of passion in the Hamburger Fields,” he said. Dismissing him.

“I can be, and I am!” he shouted.

“Oh blah, blah, blah! BLIGHITY BLAH!” shouted Rick. “Stan’s a better man than you anyways. He knows how to make a man feel appreciated. Y’know?” 

Rick then feigned ecstatic moans, “Ohh Stanley, yeah, yeah, yeah, right therreee!” 

“That’s lewd,” growled Stanford. His face flushed a deep red.

“You would know,” said Rick. “I recall you getting very into me sucking on your fingers.” 

“Nope,” Stanford walked forward. Stomping as he went. “Not listening. Just help me find my brother.”

Rick made a dismissive noise. “Bleh…fine….So, does he ever talk about me?” 

“Hmm?” began Stanford. “No, never.” 

“C’mon, i’m being serious right now. He must, right?’ asked Rick.

“Nope. Up until we got the note, I didn’t even know you two were acquainted,” said Stanford.

“What? We spent nearly a decade together, fucking and savaging around the country,” said Rick. “He must remember me.” 

“Well,” said Ford apprehensively. “There’s a chance that he genuinely doesn’t remember.” 

“Oh god, has he been hit with Alzheimer's?” said Rick, feeling his age.

“The truth is more…odd,” Said Ford. “Do you remember when i talked about Weirdmageddon?” 

“Dumb name, yes.”

“Ignoring that…To destroy Bill, Stanley allowed him to invade his mind…Then we erased it,” said Ford.

“You sick son of a bitch!” growled Rick.

“Oh, grow the hell up, Sanchez. I heard about how you regularly erase your grandson’s memories over minor mistakes on your end,” said Ford.

“How did you hear about that?” asked Rick.

“Summer and Wendy are friends on Tumblr,” said Ford.

“Goddamn, Summer,” whispered Rick under his breath. But then Rick smiled, “Hot Damn, Fordy baby, you’ve just given me a chance at this bullshit thing called love!” 

Rick pushed Ford over, and the old man fell on his ass. They opened up a portal that entered them into a dimension filled with bright blue slime bags, and they bounced off of them, weaving between each other as they fell. Rick blessed another portal into the wall of the dimension and it led into the back room of a bar.

Surrounding Stan’s tied-up form were impossibly tall robots and short dwarven aliens with big fly eyes. They all pulled their guns and started firing at the pair. They ducked behind pillars and exchanged looks. Ford looked ready to kill Rick.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!” he shouted.

“Relax,” Rick stepped in front of the scene.

His body was quickly riddled with plasma fire. The bolts of liquid energy passed through his scrawny form like butter, but he kept stepping forward. The aliens screamed at him in their native tongues—horrid insect chirping. Rick’s left arm unfolded, forming a kind of gun made of green semi-metal and flesh. The flesh gun sprayed the aliens with a horrible mist that caused their skin to erupt in horrible sizzling boils and caused the metal skin of the robots to erode rapidly.

“Come to me, everybody!” he shouted. “Look at me go! Your gods might not be real, but I’m sending you to him all the same!”

Ford stood behind the pillar, picking off stragglers with his pistol and resenting every word that fell out of Rick Sanchez’ stupid head. He didn’t have to do all of this. They could have just killed them; they didn’t have to cook alive inside their bodies.

Once this mad violence was over, Stanford dashed over to Stanley and tore the bag off his head; his brother winced at the light.

“It’s okay, Stanley, you’re going to be alright,” said Ford as he began to undo the binds.

Rick turned and flashed Stanley a look. He thought it was sexy, with is hip cocked to the side and the bulge in his pants prominently displayed. 

“Hey, hot stuff,” said Rick. “I’m Rick Sanchez, and I’m the rescue committee.”  

“Yeah,” said Stan. “I know who you are.”

Suddenly, Rick froze. Shit, he remembers all the scumbag shit I did.

Once up, Stan strode across the room and pushed Rick up against the wall, forcing his tongue into his mouth and dry-humping him against the wall. Ford stood by, irritated that it built up to this. He turned his head so he didn’t have to see the image of the two.

“You scrawny son of a bitch,” said Stan. “You made me remember that I missed you.”

[brokehorrorfan]

Sudden Death will be released on 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray on August 27 via Kino Lorber. Jean-Claude Van Damme, stars in the 1995 action thriller.

Peter Hyams (End of Days, Timecop) directs from a script by Gene Quintano (Police Academy 3-4). Powers Boothe, Raymond J. Barry, and Dorian Harewood round out the cast.

Sudden Death has been newly restored in 4K 16-bit restoration from the original camera negative with Dolby Vision/HDR. Special features are listed below.

Disc 1 - 4K UHD:

Audio commentary by action film historians Mike Leeder and Ross Boyask (new)

Disc 2 - Blu-ray:

Audio commentary by action film historians Mike Leeder and Ross Boyask (new)

Interview clips with director Peter Hyams and actors Jean-Claude Van Damme, Powers Boothe, and Ross Malinger

Behind-the-scenes footage

Theatrical trailer

TV spot

Ex-fireman Darren McCord (Jean-Claude Van Damme) has a new job working security at the Pittsburgh Civic Arena. Hoping to impress his kids, he's scored tickets to the Stanley Cup Finals, unaware that the place has been taken over by a group of terrorists. Ex-CIA agent Joshua Foss (Powers Boothe) is holding the vice president hostage in a press box and plans to blow up the building if he doesn't pay the ransom. But, when Darren learns of his scheme, he jumps into action to save the day.

Pre-order Sudden Death.

[gameraboy2]

"Love power! When 'Loveacles' get loose, babes turn on like wild – and sculpting scamp Ransom enjoys, enjoys, enjoys!"

Fondle with Care by Jay Martin Lancer Books 73-803, 1968 Cover by Stanley Borack

[ohyoufool]

FINAL FOUR

MOVE OVER STANLEY CUP. We have a new hockey event in town. It's the fabled rivalry between Providence Falconers superstar Jack Laurent Zimmermann and SUPER HOT Providence Falconers General Manager and/or Literal State Georgia Martin!

Our favorite gay hockey robot with a perchance for spitfire blondes defeated the Haus Ghosts in the first round and past teammate Justin 'Ransom' Oluransi in the second round.

Everyone's favorite casual jogger and/or home of Senators Jon Ossoff (hot) and Reverend Warnock (hot, in respectful way) knocked out Shitty B Knight in round one and William 'Dex' Poindexter in round two. If you ask our experts (me), no one ever stood a chance against her impeccable ponytail. Slay.

Don't forget to vote in the rest of the Final Four (Lardo vs One of Bitty's Pies)

Masterpost

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Bellona’s videos masterlist - movies - part 1 (The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit...) full

The Lord of the Rings

Boromir and Aragorn meet in Rivendell

The Council of Elrond

Arrival at Lothlorien

The Three Hunters meet Eomer and the Rohirrim

Charge of the Rohirrim

*****

The Hobbit

Gandalf meets Thorin at The Prancing Pony

*****

Push

Opening narration by Cassie Holmes

*****

Taking Lives

“You have something that I want. Therefore, it’s mine”

*****

A Knight’s Tale

William finds his father

Introducing Paul Bettany as Geoffrey Chaucer

*****

Knives Out

Ransom confesses killing Fran and attempts to murder Marta

*****

The Breakfast Club

Dancing scene

*****

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

Dale Cooper talks to Sam Stanley

First meeting of agent Desmond and agent Stanley.

Agent Desmond and agent Stanley talk to Irene

Agent Desmond and Agent Stanley examine the body of Theresa Banks

*****

Van Helsing

The Holy Order

*****

Bordello of Blood

Corey Feldman as Caleb Verdoux

*****

Mad Max: Fury Road

Meeting the Vuvalini

*****

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Jacob meets Nicolas Flamel

*****

The Old Guard

Andy learns an important lesson

“Her name was Quynh”

*****

The Crow

Initial narration by Sarah

Darla is cured by Eric and begins to rebuild her relationship with Sarah.

*****

Kill Bill

Black Mamba (The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo) vs. Gogo Yubari

*****

Stand by Me

Chris’ gun and Dennis’ cap

Gordie confronts Ace

*****

The Mummy

“I… am a librarian!”

*****

Dragonheart

Draco heals Prince Einon

Bowen names Draco and Dragons’ Heaven

Bowen meets the spirit of King Arthur

*****

Kickboxer: Vengeance

Kurt trains with master Durand - part one

Kurt trains with master Durand - part two

*****

Lady Bloodfight

The first round of the Kumite - part one of four

The second round of the Kumite - part two

Jane vs Svietta - part three

The final of the Kumite - part four

*****

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Lucy meets Tumnus

Meeting Aslan

The coronation of the Kings and Queens of Narnia

*****

St. Trinian’s

Annabelle arrives at the school and meets the various cliques

*****

The Three Musketeers

“Three duels in one day…”

*****

Dream a Little Dream

Bobby asks Lainie out

*****

Aquaman

“Are you that fish boy from the TV?”

The story of Tom and Atlanna - part one

The story of Tom and Atlanna - part two

*****

Night at the Museum

Larry releases Ahkmenrah

*****

Footloose

Ren teaches Willard to dance

Ren anger-dancing to Moving Pictures’s Never

The tractor chicken race

*****

The Warriors

The Warriors & the other gangs

Swan and Mercy’s conversation on the tracks

The Warriors vs. The Punks

*****

Eagle vs Shark

Lily and Jarrod

*****

Flatliners

Nelson convinces David to help him

David Labraccio apologizes to Winnie Hicks for having bullied her when they were kids

*****

Renegades

Buster and Hawk learn to work together

*****

Maleficent

Diaval is transformed into a man

*****

Hellboy: The Golden Army

Prologue

Hellboy and Liz meet the Angel of Death

*****

Fight Club

The rules

*****

The Green Knight

The Green Knight issues his challenge

Gawain meets Winifred

*****

Brotherhood of the Wolf

Mani fighting

*****

Gunpowder Milkshake

Sam meets the Librarians

*****

The Village

Lucius and Ivy on the porch

*****

The Kid Who Would Be King

Prologue

Merlin’s debut

Merlin talks to Alex and Bedders

*****

Seven Sisters / What Happened to Monday

Adetomiwa “Tomiwa” Edun as Eddie the doorman

*****

Young Guns

William Bonney arrives at Tunstall’s ranch

Dinner and reading at Tunstall’s

*****

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Prologue

Arthur grows up in the brothel

Arthur pulls the sword from the stone

Jack’s Eye visits Arthur

*****

The Last Witch Hunter

Kaulder speaks to Bronwyn

*****

Priest

Prologue

*****

6 Underground

“We find a Seven.”

Ben Hardy as Four/Billy

Ben Hardy as Four/Billy (II)

Manuel Garcia Rulfo as Three/Javier

*****

The 13th Warrior

“The thirteenth man must be no Northman.”

*****

Logan Lucky

Jimmy defends Clyde when a bar patron bullies him

*****

Legion

Michael talks to Jeep and to Gabriel

*****

Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire

Tarak tames the bennu

*****

DOA: Dead or Alive

Tina Armstrong is invited to the DOA

Christie Allen is invited to the DOA

Princess Kasumi is invited to the DOA

*****

Night Watch

Prologue

Anton meets Olga

Day Watch

Anton and Olga swap bodies

Anton's confession to Svetlana

*****

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Edgin and Holga's story - part one

Edgin and Holga's story - part two

*****

xXx

Rammstein perform Feuer Frei!

*****

Django Unchained

Schultz frees Django

Django tells Schultz about Broomilda

Schultz reunites Django and Broomhilda

*****

Bellona's masterlist

[marvelslut16]

Fictober(s) list

2020

Day 1- Prank gone wrong Richie Tozier x reader (IT) Day 2- I missed you, Doll Bucky Barnes x reader (Marvel) Day 3- The sketchbook Stanley Uris x reader (IT) Day 4- Not-so-secret boyfriend Peter Parker Stark!Reader (Marvel) Day 5- Footloose and confessions Robin Buckley x reader (Stranger Things) Day 6- Oblivious Pete Davidson x reader (RPF) Day 7- Caught red lipped Draco Malfoy x reader (Harry Potter) Day 8- I told you so Steve Rogers x reader (Marvel) Day 9- Grilled cheese and cashmere sweaters Ransom Drysdale x reader (Knives Out) Day 10- What were you thinking? Sam Wilson x reader (Marvel) Day 11- Shared sleeping bags Bill Denbrough x reader (IT) Day 12- Trust me for once Bucky Barnes x reader (Marvel) Day 13- I trust you Bucky Barnes x reader (Marvel) Day 14- Forties themed party Steve Rogers x reader (Marvel) Day 15- Stick and poke Eddie Kasbrak x reader (IT) Day 16- Even teachers can be stupid chubby!Bucky Barnes x reader (Marvel)

2021

Day 1- Shoebox apartment Jonathan Byers x reader (Stranger Things) Day 2- Beloved Damon Salvatore x reader (Vampire Diaries) Day 3- Falling for you Peter Parker x Stark!reader (Marvel) Day 4- Girls talk girls Santana Lopez x reader (Glee)

2022

Day 1- You're mine Perv!Jonathan Byers x reader (Stranger Things) Day 2- New Mom Aaron Hotchner x reader (Criminal Minds) Day 3- Oh baby Richie Tozier x reader(IT)

2023

Day 1- Acquaint Yourself With The Avengers Bucky Barnes x reader (Marvel) Day 2- The Incident Steve Harrington x reader (Stranger Things) Day 3- The Yule Ball Ron Weasley x reader (Harry Potter) Day 4- The Flu Aaron Hotchner x reader (Criminal Minds)

[megameatboy]

I've already fucked it up.

I wanted to do a weekly blog, 1 post with 1 cocktail each week, give or take a few, and I'm already grossly behind. Oh well, too bad so sad.

Here's our first cocktail of the new year, the classic Martini. For better or worse (worse), alcohol has had a presence in most of my life in someway or another. But no matter the form its never been a topic where I've been particularly knowledgeable. I can remember the first time I got drunk, crying with my mom watching the Bruins win the Stanley Cup for the first time in our lifetimes. The memories are sweet but the beer was piss. My first good beer came 2 years later at a New Years Eve party. Earlier that same night I got rear ended at a red light. I got out to check the damage, saw none, and told the guy to have a good new year and took off. He seemed relieved. I had already been in 3 accidents since starting my driving career and this was the only one that wasn’t anxiety inducing. This will be a theme through all of my writing: fuck cops. They make every situation worse, including fender benders. Anyways, that firsdt good beer was bad, some stout from some country, but the memory was delicious. I pretended to like it. I think if I had it now I actually would. It mirrored a lot of my life, faking to enjoy things to enjoy the company of people who enjoyed the things I wish I could. I guess it worked, but I still find myself so often pretending to like things to...what? Seem cool, likeable, sociable, knowledgeable, smart, worldly, know-it-all, educated? Anything but the truth; I don't know.

So fuck not knowing. I want to learn shit. I want to be able to speak about something in my own words without pretending to already know. My first cocktail was something fruity from an Asian fusion place. I don't remember what it was. I don’t remember most cocktails I've had. Beer is easy. Wine likes to look complex. But cocktails have ingredients, variations, names that blend in my head with wrestling moves I already have so much trouble keeping straight in my head. If not ignored they defaulted into "make me something delicious". Which happened most of the time, but I could never tell you what was pounding the heck out of my liver. Through cultural osmosis I learned some names, liquors, drinks, terminology, but never mashed it all together into a weekly word vomit blog. Blogging was dead before I ever got a chance to really engage with it, so in true millennial fashion let's dive into a dead medium as our social media infrastructure crumbles around us faster than our actual infrastructure.

#01: The Classic Martini

Brooklyn Gin + Ransom Dry Vermouth

Couldn't tell you why I picked the brands I did. I never by the cheapest, or the most expensive thing. I'm sure this is some desperate yearning for the stability of being middle class. Or maybe saying that is. Or maybe writing cocktail review blogs is. Or, the classic martini itself is the embodiment of the yearning for middle class.

I don't think rich people drink this.

Maybe in the real life version of Mad Men, but not in *current year*. You can taste the lingering misery on your lips. The yearning for the idea of being well off. The fantasy of being James Bond saying "shaken, not stirred". Which, yes, this martini was shaken, not stirred. Now I know I'm painting a rich picture. James Bond and Mad Men are black tie affairs. But, the martini isn’t Bond and Hamm, its the wanting to be them that is the middle class desire where the martini is crafted and consumed. It's the memory of a more sophisticated desire. It's the overweight white boomer or gen x-er watching their favorite old spy movie avoiding their incoming divorce. With a stronger taste of lemon than you'd think.

My ex hated gin. My best friend wanted to take us to a new gin distillery than opened near her place. She was probably faking having a good time. The first time she got pissed drunk and vomiting (we all have our first) was after gin. She said the smell of Christmas trees made her sick sometimes. I love that smell. I tried at least 3 different types of craft gin. They only tasted like Christmas trees a tiny bit. It was disappointing. Brooklyn Gin however doesn't taste like a Christmas tree at all, which I think is really just my palate finally maturing 8 years later. I find it smoother than expected, I know what juniper is now from my job, and I like it a lot here. I took a look at some other reviews and some people can't taste lemon notes at all. I feel bad for them. Paired in a 5:1 ratio with the Ransom Dry Vermouth was good choice. I have no reference to go on here, Maybe next year I will. But the smell, "aromatics" of the vermouth were really nice, and while maybe not lemon specifically, it definitely had a citrus note that blended really well together. To be honest I made 2. One simple, nothing added. The second I added an olive. Its thee staple garnish of the classic martini. But there is no way I'm making my way through an entire jar of olives in any amount of time in my life. I substituted for a large garlic olive from the grocery store olive bar. It was 45cents. I didn't anticipate how much of a kick the sweat of the garlic shaken into that martini would be. It took the smooth but to be honest, ancient flavor of the martini, the dream for adventure from a dented leather sofa, and kicked it in the ass off the couch and made you want to grab it.

Already I've fucked it up. I wanted to embrace a simple cocktail and review it, and I'm already altering it, trying to make it weird. I guess I can't help it. Scorpion and nature and that whole thing.

Conclusion: The Classic Martini: The flavor of the fantasy of wanting for more. Recommendation: Garnish with flavorful olive. Rating: I would drink it when handed at a party I'm not fancy enough for.

On deck: Lemon Drop Martini                                                                                                    

[playlistjunkie]

Best Get Ready Playlist by Tyler Childers

3/7/20 - WhiskeyRiff.com - by Wes Langeler

• Housefire - Tyler Childers

• Leaving Lousiana In The Broad Daylight - The Oak Ridge Boys

• Plastic Saddle - Nat Stuckey

• East Indian Princess - Laudon Wainwright III

• Country Squire - Tyler Childers

• Lets Invite Them Over - George Jones

• Don't Feed the Animals - Shooter Jennings

• Things Goin' On - Lynyrd Skynyrd

• Matthew - Tyler Childers

• Ugly Woman - Jerry Reed

• Mama Bake a Pie (Daddy Kill a Chicken) - Tom T. Hall

• Girl On the Billboard -Jim & Jesse

• What I Really Mean - Robert Earl Keen

• Peace of Mind - Tyler Childers

• One Night Stands - Hank Williams Jr.

• Lousiana Man - Buck Owens

• Awful Lot to Learn About Truck Drivin' - Red Simpson

• A Week in County Jail - Tom T. Hall

• Ever Lovin’ Hand - Tyler Childers

• Chick Inspector (That’s Where My Money Goes - Dick Curless

• County Boy - Ricky Skaggs

• All Your'n - Tyler Chillers

• Loser's Cocktail - Dick Curless

• It’s Such a Pretty World Today - Wynn Stewart

• That Just Kills Me - Wynn Stewart

• Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young - Faron Young

• Crazy Arms - Jerry Lee Lewis

• High School Confidential - Jerry Lee Lewis

• Hillbilly Fever - Jerry Lee Lewis

• Settin' the Woods on Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis

• My Home Ain't in the Hall of Fame - J.d. Crowe

• Take Your Shoes Off Moses - Ralph Stanley

• Gemini - Tyler Childers

• Rank Stranger - Ralph Stanlay

• Over the Glory Land - Ralph Stanley

• Amazing Grace - Ralph Stanley

• I'll Answer The Call - Ralph Stanley

• Going Up Home to Live in Green Pastures - Ralph Stanley

• Boogie-John Hartford

• Holding - John Hartford

• Joseph’s Dream - John Hartford

• The Cover of "Rolling Stone" - Dr. Hook

• Welcome To Goose Creek - Goose Creek Symphony

• Whupin It - Goose Creek Symphony

• Creeker - Tyler Childers

• Chicken Train Stomp - The Ozark Mountain Daredevils

• Tarheel Boys - Town Mountain

• Lawdog - Town Mountain

• Up the Ladder - Town Mountain

• Foggy Old London - Jimmy Martin

• Bus Route-Tyler Childers

• Milwaukee Here I Come - Jimmy Martin

• One Loaf Of Bread - Dave Evans

• Harlan County - Jim Ford

• She Turns My Radio On - Jim Ford

• Long Road Ahead - Jim Ford

• Working My Way to LA - Jim Ford

• Under Construction - Jim Ford

• Pinball Blues - Moore & Napier

• Mama's Got The Know How - Doug Kershaw

• Third Rate Romance - The Amazing Rhythm Aces

• Typical American Boy - The Amazing Rhythm Aces

• Countrified - John Sanderson

• Haunted House - John Anderson

• I've Got Me a Woman - John Anderson

• Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox (If I Die) - Joe Diffie

• Don’t Come Home a Drinkin’ - Loretta Lynn

• Gettin’ Happy - Dolly Parton

• Fancy - Bobby Gentry

• Memphis, Tennessee - Bobby Bare

• Wolverton Mountain - Southern Culture on the Skids

• Muswell Hillbilly - Southern Culture on the Skids

• Banana Puddin' - Southern Culture on the Skids

• Put Your Teeth Up on the Window Sill - Southern Culture on the Skids

• Give Me Forty Acres - Jim & Jesse

• Six Days On the Road - Jim & Jesse

• Hole in the Ground - Larry Cordle

• Death Metal in a Minivan - Dinosaur Burps

• Dungeon Map - Dinosaur Burps

• Nap in the Face of Danger - Dinosaur Burps

• Aswdwnwl - Dinosaur Burps

• Orange You Is Peachy - Dinosaur Burps

• Don’t Touch Me - Tammy Wynette

• Fuck You - CeeLo Green

• Don't Pay the Ransom - Nat Stuckey

• 4th Of July / He Stopped Loving Her Today - Shooter Jennings

• Where the Stars and Stripes and the Eagle Fly - Aaron Tippin

• Kiss This - Aaron Tippin

• Tight Fittin' Jeans - Conway Twitty

• Hello Darlin' - Conway Twitty

• Slide Off Of Your Satin Sheets - Johnny Paycheck

• Woman (You Better Love Me) - Johnny Paycheck

• Country John - Allen Toussaint

• Shoot Low, Sheriff! - John Anderson

• Steam Powered Aereo Plane - John Hartford

• O.D.’d in Denver - Hank Williams Jr.

• Fax Me a Beer - Hank Williams Jr.

• She's All I Got - Johnny Paycheck

• Stop the World (and Let Me Off) - Waylon Jennings

[byneddiedingo]

George Clooney in Hail, Caesar! (Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, 2016)

Cast: Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Scarlett Johansson, Tilda Swinton, Channing Tatum, Frances McDormand, Jonah Hill. Screenplay: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen. Cinematography: Roger Deakins. Production design: Jess Gonchor. Film editing: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen. Music: Carter Burwell.

With Hail, Caesar! Joel and Ethan Coen return to Old Hollywood, the scene of one of their earliest films, the dark horror-comedy Barton Fink (1991), this time to give us what appears to be a cotton-candy fantasia on movie genres. But Hail, Caesar! in its sly way it reveals the grip that Hollywood myth and history have on our imaginations, using parodies of Hollywood genre films not just to send up their absurdities but also to show how deeply they color our dreams. At the same time, it explores Hollywood history -- the hold the old studios had on actors' lives, the role of publicity and gossip in creating and destroying stars, the interaction with politics during the Red Scare of the late '40s and '50s -- and combines it with the parody sequences to create a movie that turns out to be a parody of movies about The Movies, a genre that includes everything from the many versions of A Star Is Born to Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly and Stanley Donen, 1952) to, well, Barton Fink. The individual parodies -- the biblical epic, the drawing room drama based on a Broadway hit, the singing-cowboy Western, the Esther Williams extravaganza, the sailors-on-a-spree musical -- are all spot on. But it takes a special audacity -- something the Coens have never lacked -- to send up the anti-communist hysteria that led to the HUAC investigation and the blacklist. The Coens do it by treating the paranoid suspicion that left-wingers were undermining the American Way of Life by injecting Marxism into the movies as if it were real. So we have a communist cell made up of writers who kidnap a movie star for ransom, and another star who defects to the Soviets when the writers row him out to a submarine at night. It's a reductio ad absurdum of Cold War hysteria, as brilliantly handled by the Coens as it was by Stanley Kubrick in Dr. Strangelove (1964). The Coens also tease us by dropping the names of real people into the script. Josh Brolin plays a studio production chief and fixer named Eddie Mannix, which is the name of a real-life Hollywood fixer who kept wayward stars out of the headlines, and he reports to a studio executive in New York named Nick Schenck, the name of the president of Loew's, Inc., which owned MGM. One of the members of the communist cell in the film, a professor "down from Stanford," is called Herbert Marcuse (John Bluthal), the name of a Marxist philosopher popular with the New Left of the 1960s. It's a film of wonderful cameos, including George Clooney as the kidnapped star, Scarlett Johansson as the Esther Williams equivalent, Ralph Fiennes as the director Laurence Laurentz, and Channing Tatum emulating Gene Kelly as the singing and dancing sailor. Tilda Swinton plays the film's competing gossip columnists, Thora and Thessaly Thacker, based on the notoriously powerful Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons. By making them twins, the Coens seem to have conflated them with the competing advice columnists Abigail Van Buren and Ann Landers, née Pauline and Esther Friedman. Hail, Caesar! got a mixed reception from critics and was a box office disappointment, but I think it's ripe for rediscovery.

[kitewithfish]

Wednesday Reading meme Dec 7 2022

What I've Read The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance by Dorothy Johnson - this short story was interestingly complicated - there's a fundamental ambiguity to the relationship between the male leads that doesn't seem really present in the movie. The scenes of Jimmy Stewart talking to excited crowds were, as I suspected, invented for the film - I think they profoundly change the way that the Ransom Foster character relates to the town and overwhelmingly act to legitimize him as a good person and community leader, in a way that the short story is much less clear about. Also, wow, Westerns are just 10000% about the era they are written in, not the era they are set in, and that's really kind of fun.

I've actually read a fair amount of fanfic that is too short to log for this project, so, well, here we are.

What I'm Reading: Still reading (holdovers) A soul that's born in cold and Rain knows sunlight by KillBothTwins Carry On by Tamryn Eradani Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey Westerns: Making the Man in Fiction and Film by Lee Clark Mitchell Moby Dick by Herman Melville - Whale Weekly

2312 by Kim Stanley Robinson - I'm really enjoying this much more now that there is no deadline - there's a lot of episodic messiness for these characters. Swan running with the wolves and getting stuck in a pit is just, so deeply not part of the scifi genre of problems, that I'm adoring the weirdness of the book.

What I'll Read Next:

Library books in the house: Tiger's Daughter - K Arsenault Rivera Riot Baby - Rochi Onyeuchi The Silence of the Wilting Skin - Tlotlo Tsamaase Whispers Underground - Ben Aaronovitch Penric's Demon - LM Bujold The Book of the Unnamed Midwife - Meg Elison The Uncle's Story - Witi Ihimaera

Owned and need to read: NK Jemisin's The World We Make, Frey Marske's A Restless Truth, California Bones, the Grief of Stones by Katherine Addison, Raven Song by IA Ashcroft, Kraken's Sacrifice by Katee Robert, Even Though I Know the End by CL Polk, True Colors by Karen Traviss, At The Feet of the Sun by Victoria Goddard, Tamryn Eradani's Enchanting Encounters Books 2 and 3, Like Real People Do by EL Massey, Rescued by the Married Monster Hunters by Ennis Rook Bashe

[loycspotting]

12. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: A Life Less Ordinary (1997)

This is Ewan's last movie of 1997 and oh boy, is it a good one! And yes, the plot is just as zany as his previous two movies lol. Here are some fun facts before we begin!

Ewan's wife, Eve Mavrakis, is credited as Art Department Associate.

Once again the terrific trio of Danny Boyle, John Hodge, and Andrew Macdonald are reunited with Ewan to create movie magic! Sadly, Ewan and Danny's friendship took a huge blow after this project. The grudge would last for nearly two DECADES before they worked together again.

Stanley Tucci plays a minor role in the movie and will work with Ewan again in the future.

Genre: Comedy/Romance

Rating: R

Director: Danny Boyle

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ewan McGregor

Synopsis: Robert Lewis is experiencing the worst day of his life. He gets fired, dumped, and evicted all within twenty-four hours! He decides his only option is to speak to the CEO and demand his job back. Instead, he ends up kidnapping the man's daughter, Celine! In the midst of this chaos, two angels are sent from Heaven to help Robert and Celine fall in love.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Robert Lewis. Robert is a hopeless romantic and aspiring writer. He's a sweet guy who doesn't know how he ended up as a wanted criminal but thinks he's gone too far to turn back. Thankfully for him, there's one person who's willing to help him be a convincing kidnapper and get the ransom money he needs...his kidnappee, Celine! Ewan gives a great performance in this role. His chemistry with Cameron Diaz is even better than his with Nicole Kidman for "Moulin Rouge!" in my opinion. He has two kiss scenes and a shirtless scene. He performs a song and dance number which is really fun. He wears the kilt which to my knowledge is the only time he's done so on screen to date. Robert is more innocent compared to Celine so that brings about some cute moments of confusion. Best of all, he sobs like a baby in one scene and it was *chef's kiss 🤌*. He needs to do more comedy roles because he's genuinely good at it! All the actors had great chemistry and gave stellar performances.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 53/104 minutes making his SP 51%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? Yes! I'm a fan of his raspy screaming voice (and he does a lot of it), he sings, dances, and seeing him cry in fear is always appreciated. Is the movie worth watching in general? Also yes! It's funny and the actors play off each other so well. The story is unique and the soundtrack is great too!

Warning before Watching: There are some bloody scenes in the movie. Nothing super graphic but I still want to issue a warning for those who are uncomfortable by such depictions. Two characters get shot in the head and there's a close up of their wounds. There's a scene of a character intentionally cutting them self and drawing a large amount of blood. Lastly, a character is cut by someone else and there's a close up of the wound.

Where to Watch: "A Life Less Ordinary" is currently available for rent on Fandango at Home. You can also watch on Amazon Prime Video if you have a premium subscription or you can pirate it on soap2day.

Closing Thoughts: It truly sucks that this movie wasn't well-received and was commercially unsuccessful. We need more movies like this that a take chance on a wacky story! I call them "silly goofy movies" and they are sorely lacking in Hollywood today. I implore you to give this movie a watch. It's a great time!

[brokehorrorfan]

The Swiss Conspiracy will be released on Blu-ray and DVD on February 20 via Film Masters. The 1976 action film is directed by Jack Arnold (Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Incredible Shrinking Man).

David Janssen, Senta Berger, John Ireland, John Saxon, Anton Diffring, Arthur Brauss, and Elke Sommer star. Norman Klenman, Philip Saltzman, and Michael Stanley wrote the script.

The Swiss Conspiracy has been newly restored in 4K from original 35mm archival elements. Special features are listed below.

Special features:

Audio commentary by film historians Daniel Budnik and Rob Kelly

Jack Arnold: The Lost Years featurette

Jack Arnold: A Three-Dimensional Filmmaker visual essay by film historians Ryan Verrill and Will Dodson

Original trailer

Recut trailer

Essay by Cinema Retro editor-in-chief Lee Pfeiffer

A Swiss bank president hires a former U.S. Justice Department official to ferret out a group of blackmailers who have learned the identity of five, anonymous numbered account holders, including a Chicago mob figure who is also being pursued by American gangsters. Investigator David Christopher (David Janssen) identifies four potential suspects, including the bank vice-president's mistress, Rita (Elke Sommer). Adding to the intrigue are the suspicions of the Swiss Federal Police which complicates the investigation. When the bank pays the chief blackmailer in uncut diamonds, the ransom rendezvous results in a dramatic showdown in the snow-covered Alps and a shocking revelation.

Pre-order The Swiss Conspiracy.