#rant thingy

[d0thedahmerr]

Rejection sensitive dysphoria and ADHD sucks. Empathy was always my favorite part of myself but it always seems to do me more bad than good and the worst part is I cannot help it. Feeling for people most others deem as worthless and seeing that attitude all over the media really gets to me sometimes, especially when I get in arguments over it or have to try my best to hold back sadness or frustration. I’m glad I have you guys to talk to:)

[forgottenluck]

So....I'm sorry for sort of just...kinda dropping off the face of the earth for the past month, only interacting off and on and such.

Under a read more is the long version.

tldr: Life handed me a very bad hand and i'm not dealing well.....but trying to get myself to a better position.

Now for the long version.

At the end of April, one of my favorite months, my landlord decided that they would not be renewing our lease. For reference, we lived in Government Assisted Housing, which subsidized our rent and made it easier to afford just basic living. As most of my followers know, I live with my mom. But for those of you who are just now joining me on this hell-journey, i'll give you a rundown.

My mom is in very poor health. She's had massive complications with surguries, strokes, heart attacks, transplant....you name it, it's likely happened to her at least once. This left her pretty much unable to care for herself. She can barely stand on her own, uses a wheelchair and walker....etc etc. I've been careing for her for about 15 years now.

Back on track, we'd been living in Government Assisted (HUD) housing for a few years now, it's a vicious cycle of "you can't make more than ___ and if you do your rent goes up." and "Can't work more hours or rent goes up." and "can't get a raise because then rent goes up.".....and we haven't exactly been happy living here. The place has changed hands multiple times too. In the years I've lived here, they've changed hands at least once a year. The current one is the one that's held on the longest....And they're not very good landlords.

During March and April of this year, they did their yearly inspections. Which, due to my mother being sick at the time, we missed. Because of mom's health, she's Immunocompromised, which means she cannot be in contact with a lot of people....especially when she's already ill to begin with. All of the other landlords have understood this, and respected this. When she's sick, i put up a note on the door, that explains she's sick and that if they need to come in, they're to contact me and reschedule any visits until after she is better. As the note instructed, the landlord skipped over our unit in inspection....but never called me to verify a new date. They'd done this before, and so i thought nothing of it....

But when I went in to do our recertification (which we have to do every year through HUD) I was given a massive slap on the wrist because "they couldn't get in our apartment for inspection"....and that the landlord would call me to reschedule the inspection. By that point, the apartment was a mess because i was trying to take care of her and an elderly dog she refused to rehome....So, thinking that it would be in a few days, I worked to get it back into shape.

I never get a call.

Okay. That's fine. I'll just move on with life. I have more important things to deal with, after all.

It was, unfortunately, not fine. I go in to give them my paperwork for the recertification (because I missed some papers the first time) and I get told that our unit is being chosen for the yearly HUD inspection, and that it'd better be spotless in one week. And of course...i panic.

I have ADHD, and being the only member in the family that can actually move around, it means i'm also the only one who can clean the apartment up, take trash out, dust, etc. Which is hard with ADHD. So the apartment was an absolute wreck...and i had to clean the entire thing in one week. I ended up having to call in help. But i got it done.....somehow. The apartment had looked the best it had in YEARS. Sure it was a little dusty, and the carpet was filthy because of an elderly dog and another dog that sheds like crazy.....(and the fact that my vacuum had literally exploded the night before.)

But somehow.....somehow, we failed the inspection. And the landlord wouldn't give me a clear answer on how. Regardless of how or why, we were given a 90 day notice, we had to be out by July 31st. It wasn't an eviction, they were.....nice enough to do it as a "non-renewed lease" but it was still....not a great situation.

Cue a.....mad, frantic battle of trying to find a place to live. With mom's health, we had to have specific accomedations.....and luckily a friend of mine was willing to go in with me on an appartment, even willing to accomedate my mother if we could find a place. But every place we looked into, applied too....denied us. (It didn't help that because i was once income based housing, my income was very low and most apartments wanted 2 or 3 times the rent in monthly income.....which was impossible for me.)

About mid June, my mother decided enough was enough, and she agreed to be put into a nursing facility. I could no longer adequately take care of her, tension and emotion were strained.....it had not been a good situation for a while, and she finally broke down and agreed to the suggestion. We put that in motion and then me and my friend set out once again to try and find a place to live. Without her limitations, the first place that we applied too accepted us. A small breath of fresh air....that didn't last long.

I now had to pack a whole 2 bedroom apartment into either a donate bin, a storage bin, or the new place. And to make matters worse, my mother was obstinate and inconsiderate, and pretty much refused to let me work on packing unles it was the middle of the night and she wasn't awake. I would constantly get passive aggressive quips and sometimes full blown arguments with her about the move.

All the while, there's hiccup after hiccup with her going into a facility. First the hospital didn't release her information to the coordinator because they thought it was an audit (which if it was an audit wouldn't you get it super fast in that case to get it over with? but what do I know....), then the coordinator went on a mandatory vacation. Then they had to wait for the hospital to release more information. Then mom had to have a test done. All of this stuff should have been handled in two weeks. We were told by the coordinator it would only take two weeks......A whole month went by and we were still waiting.

And because we were still waiting, and i was recieving harassment and push back, i was behind in packing and sorting. Those weeks were....really blurry if i'm going to be honest with you all. It didn't help that about towards the beginning of July my apartment was broken into and I was assaulted. (SA, this will be the only mention.) OF course the Landlord did nothing, and I really don't want to go into details because it just makes them look even hinkier.

The stress, the assault, the move....it all blurs together the past month. I spent from July 30th to August 3rd trying to get as much stuff out of that apartment and into the new one as i could. My roommate had already moved in, so i just had to move my stuff in.

My aunt, graciously allowed me and my mom to stay with her while we stayed in the facility limbo (i had to stay with mom because my aunt had no idea how to care for her, and really couldn't do everything necessary.) But...mom's health rapidly deteriorated over the past few weeks, and she was just admitted into the hospital.

Life has not been kind to me the past few months. I've been stressed, attacked mentally, verbally, and physically. It's honestly a wonder i'm still kicking. I know i've developed some sort of heart murmer or palpitations that flare up from time to time recently. My room is bare minimum....i just had to buy a comforter set and some other things that i need to be able to sleep. It's not been good.

But.....hopefully, from now on, things will look up. I know this has been mostly a rant, but I wanted people to understand where I've been and why i've either dropped things completely, snipped and snaped at people, or hyperfocused on one or two things. It's all i've been able to do. And I want to thank all of you for getting to the end of this, and for supporting me as much as you all do. I'll get back into the swing of things here, it just may take me a bit.

Thank you again, and please, i do hope you have a good night. I'll queue this a few times over the next few days.

[chonnysinferno]

the going thru it guy

also somewthing that i cant explain. yea like only one person could get what this is referencing

[daisys-reality]

your consciousness is like a billion+ years old (if we ignore the fact that time isn't real lol) and you would still date someone that is close in age to your CR age... does it make you a weirdo? no. it would be normal here in your CR to be attracted to someone close in age. because your mind/awareness of this reality is as old as your body/brain here !

and when you shift to reality where body&brain is idk 10 years old - you will have the perception and emotional/mental capacity of a 10 years old kid !! (ok well... unless you actively choose/script to be an otherworldly adult trapped in a childs body but then again... i would wonder about your intentions for doing so.... ?)

but back to the topic, here are some examples:

do you know conan from the anime detective conan? because of some type of drug he was forced to take his body turned into his 6-7 years old self while he kept the mind of his 17 y/o self AND EVEN THEN: he needed more sleep, became more quickly drowsy, his attention span was less good and he overall felt the needs of his child body daily because he WAS a child again, even if his mind wanted to do more, his body wasn't as durable to do so, he felt restricted by his own body.

also, if you've read some webtoons that talk about regression or transmigration etc. where the main character turns back in time or just wakes up in a body that is physically younger than their former self - even there you can see that they feel the limitations of being a child again (weakened body, need for more sleep, stronger emotions & mood swings, struggles with speaking and forming difficult thoughts, shorter memory capacity etc.)

if hormones & co, the stage of development of our brain, and all the positive, traumatic,(...) childhood experiences influence our mind and body from childhood/teenage to adulthood - why would it be different in other realities? especially those that are so similar to our CR human world... so, in that sense, once you shift, you kinda take over an already limited and different-wired body and your mind adjusts to the situation your DR self is in ...because you ARE your DR self in that moment

i hope that makes sense ♡

[kronofobia]

I was looking through some ninjago minifigures on bricklink with my 6 y/o sister and we stumbled upon the baby wu "minifigure"...

And my sister casually said "skibidi toilet"

And as much as I hate this brainrot... she was absolutely right😭

Like-- LOOK AT IT!!

I'm sobbing... I can't unsee it...

[autisminabox]

Sometimes I wonder why people are so quick to think autistic ppl are evil soul sucking demon aliens or whatever

Then I look at WH theories (clearly made by neurotypical teenagers) and it’s like. “OMG WALLY DARLING EVIL SATAN WORSHIPPER CONFIRMED” and the linked audio is just either obvious symptoms of autism or him panicking

Like I really find it hard to believe Clown would follow such a cliché ending to children’s mascot horror by making (mascot) be super dangerous evil evil bad guy 3000. Especially after the sheer amount of love and precision they put into all of it. I don’t think it would be satisfying if Wally was just Super Manipulator Murder & Posses Man

[kayatoastkkat]

in this page we discover how Frankenstein invented cancel culture

Frankie being a Jekyll hater from the beginning...well. Gotta love her dedication!.

also. look at Jekyll's stupid smug face here. Look at it.

Frankie was right about him being punchable ndsldflskj HE IS I MEAN I GET WHERE SHE'S COMING FROM NOW

live reaction of every TGS fan on Mondays:

serious note though, it's interesting to see that she was jealous of someone being able to get recognised for mad science, while hers, coupled with her bad choices and horrible sense of responsibility, were what ultimately got her to where she is as a lonely, bitter old biddy. buuut I'm excited to see what Jekyll makes out of this info <3 it's a nice insight to her character and that in the years after she vanished she willingly chose to live off the grid and it wasn't something she was forced into.

can't believe Frankie predicted the behaviour of half the people on the Internet nowadays: obsessive haters. no seriously. they're rampant. I keep seeing them recently.

[stiffyck]

I just now realized that I may or may not have made a mistake. Um. If I made a mistake I am quite possibly fucked for like a year lmfao

[hahskeleton]

⚠️MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR TLAES/TSAMS SPOILERS!!!!!⚠️

Okay so WHATTTTTTTTT ECLIPSE GOT THERAPYYYYY!!!!

I know Moon made him go but I think it actually did him a little good! I’m being actually truthful, here, I think Eclipse really considered confessing a few things, but I also might be wrong. Eclipse could definitely still be putting up an act for all this but like he’s said in previous episodes, he never actually did anything he’s hated for doing. That was the previous copy of him, he’s just a replacement.

When he was asking about how Lunar was dealing with the whole *BOOM* thing and Earth was like, “We ain’t gonna talk ‘bout that” I’m honestly kinda glad. That would’ve probably flourished into a weird, long, argumentative conversation. On Eclipse’s part, tho, Earth’s pretty chill :)

When they were talking abt how Earth was coping with seeing Eclipse explode and Eclipse was like, “Yeah, how does that feel btw? Terrible? Scary?”

and then stuff happened and it led up to him saying, “You never know when your just going to go BOOM.” holy heck I should draw that. lmao I’ll probably be drawing a lot for this ep

also at the end when Moon fricking APOLOGIZED??? HUH??? Where was that hiding the whole time??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am so happy Moon finally said something to him, and damn it silenced Eclipse, too!

When he said, “You probably don’t want to hear it, but, I’m sorry for leaving you behind.” And eclipse DIDN’T SAY A SINGLE THING LIKE- holy moly man Eclipse I wish you actually took that relatively seriously. When that part came I was just-

ALSO when Moon said that specific line “I know you probably don’t wanna hear it, but,” we forget Sun has said the exact same thing to him before, except not him, it was Old Moon he said it to. In that episode, Sun said VERY DISTINCTLY, “I know you probably don’t wanna hear it, and I know I don’t say it often, but,”

This honestly probably means absolutely nothing, it’s just something I’m pointing it out—

Anything thing, when Eclipse first came in and Moon was like, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he was talking like he went into a dentist’s office and his kid was misbehaving. Also Eclipse is a five year old at heart and you can’t change my mind. The way he walked in and just started insulting everything and throwing sh!t around was kinda funny to me.

Also, yeah, Earth noticed he was avoiding trying to talk about himself and his problems, and she was right he was definitely doing that. He would change the subject whenever Earth asked something remotely close to his feelings or his trauma.

I have a lot more to say but I don’t wanna make this post any other than it has to be so yeah… I’ll probably post another ramble and rant post today sometime to ramble about Eclipse and lore and stuff.

[ganondoodle]

i know i have talked about this many times in detail by now, but the whole "shiekah tech just vanished" totk interview reveal will grind my gears anytime i think about the franchise for i dont know how much time to come

its such a lie to your face i just cant help but feel insulted, bc no, its NOT all gone and vanished, you kept the few parts convenient to keep and got rid of all that could have even vaguely distracted from the new shiny sonau stuff, at least be honest and just say you didnt think about it needing any sort of reason, say you dont care, say there were writing or staffing troubles, say you had other priorities, say you didnt think people cared about continuity (lol) even between two games taking place in the same world no 10 years apart, say you just wanted to generate money but even more, idk, id much rather have them be honest about it than lie like that bc this way it makes it feel like they think im stupid, like id just gobble up and be happy with anything they say to get me to shut up and keep spending money

(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

[pusangkambing]

Saw a tweet annoyed the hell out of me but for the love of god qjaiden isnt leaving or "closing the book" on bobby fields. Girl says she's going to start lying but apparently now is the time to take her words at face value

SHE.IS.LYING.

She's been lying to herself for a much longer time than she has been lying to other people. No she's not over bobby fields, no shes not over bobby's death, she lied to qBaghs about it because Baghera is one of the only people that knows about it. She is lying to qbaghera because she's afraid she might become suspicious too. She has no plans on leaving. Literally a day before she said Bobby fields would be her main base but she would need a different house because she cant keep saying she doesnt have one when people ask.

She has not moved on, she has never ever allowed herself to fully processed her grief. Think back to when she first showed bobby fields to qroier, constantly telling him that they can be like how they used to, that, there, they can never be sad. That they can keep living that memory of bobby forever. Go back when she first showed it to qfoolish. Leo was so concerned about it because she too clocked in how qjaiden never ever lets herselft get sad ever. She asks her tia if she's okay with a sign, qjaiden reads and quietly tells her "yes. im fine" then breaks the sign herself. She, as far as i know, has never broken a sign from the eggs ever until then, but the fact that she broke the sign herself speaks volumes of how much she's repressing her emotions. She is bottling up all her grief over bobby, never truly letting them out so she can forever cling to only happy memories of her dead son. Think back to when she first showed qcellbit, when cellbit asked her where she got the flowers (the cyan ones, bobby's flowers), she immediately changed the subject, never fully answering his question. She does not let herself think of the day when Bobby died, she refuses to touch it, she understands that he's dead but she can never confront the memory of when he actually died, and with the way shes going, it doesnt look like she ever will.

So no she has not moved on, she is not closing the book, the thorns of the roses of bobby fields cling to her very being, the vines wrapping themselves around her heart. When she speaks to others about moving on,

She.Is.Lying.

[rxsewqter]

hopping on the tag game train

go to your pinterest boards (if you don't have pinterest just find a meme) and find a meme in one of your boards that best describes you.

im tagging @swans-chirping-in-the-distance @aylin-hijabi @queenpiranhadon @iam1withthepeggy @labaguetteisdabest @tam-shade-song @therealsophieelizabethfoster @someonewhogotanaccount @bookishirishdancer @newyorktimesbestsellerr @an-j8 @lillibethnougatesquirethe3rd @shelfthe-reader @itadori-yujiii @hijabi-desi-bookworm and @queenie-blackthorn

[punkeropercyjackson]

Boutta check in my brutal honesty autism card and say that Hobie's big ass crush on Gwen was NOT subtle at all,he was being so classic 'cocky flirty punk dude' with her and gave her his sweater to borrow which is like the biggest unspoken 'i wanna be your boyfriend' move in the book,and neither was the (probably) accidental subtext of him liking Miles too that follows 'edgy and hardcore boy who's actually a huge softie has a thing for the cutesy and innocent ray of sunshine and is more protective and complimentary towards them than he is anyone else to show it' to a fuckin' T4T and the only reason people don't read it as either is that he's super handsome so they decided that meant he's a grown man instead of the cute lil black boy he is

[triglycercule]

is he recognizable. he should be. errors design is impossible to make look bad i say as i dont quite know if this design looks all that good,,,,, not like im gonna try an make another one bc i do NAUGHT have time or energy to make another vice.SER design prototype

my new character guy his whole deal is that he is a chill dude who lwk don’t gaf. Although you may not know him very much right now but he’ll find his way into your heart. JK vice.SER's just error but he fell into the void like a dumbass and now hes changed his strat ‼️‼️ of destroying the multiverse by trying to convince the creators. more to him but like i cannot be bothered. i low key changed errors character so bad that i dont know if anything about his old personality and motivations and stuff can fit into vice.SER's lore bit whatever he looks cool has cool motive has cool everything. maybe i wish he could be a bit more freaky cooking but i probably just havent added enough glitch effects.

[darth-tella]

I really have a hard time when I come across fanfiction categorizing Tentoo as a clone, a copy of the Doctor, or even that Rose would have had trouble accepting him before months. Or worse, that Tentoo has more of Donna's facial expressions than Ten, like his smile for example. All these things that are canonically... well false. As if the authors were trying to convince themselves that Tentoo is not the Doctor in a more or less subtle way.

Sorry for the somewhat late reply to this, the notification got buried somehow.

I’ve never personally seen the facial expression thing before, but it honestly doesn’t surprise me.

It’s absolutely insane to me that people can’t see that Ten and Tentoo are the same person when it’s stated so clearly in the show. True, Rose tries to tell Ten that Tentoo isn’t him - and, quite frankly, I wouldn’t have even had that line in the show to begin with. I don’t think Rose meant what she said, I think in that moment she was overwhelmed and wasn’t too keen on watching the Doctor disappear on her again. And just moments later, she’s calling Tentoo “Doctor”, which she wouldn’t have done if she didn’t accept that he was the Doctor as well. 

And Rose fully accepts Tentoo when she kisses him. He’s the Doctor who’s able to finish his sentences and give himself fully to her. 

But circling back to your point of fic authors writing Tentoo as if he’s some kind of clone or whatever and Rose not accepting him, just do your best to filter and blacklist where you can. AO3 has some wonderful filtering options to make your fic reading experience exponentially better. People do have the right to write whatever they want, we just need to curate our fandom experiences.

And people do need to tag things properly! If people could stop putting stuff they hate about a character in the character’s tags that would be great.

[kayatoastkkat]

guys look real picture of my handwriting when there’s 5min left on the exam

okay….I’ve seen people on discord searching up pictures that matched the alchemical diagram Jekyll drew up here…

unfortunately I am a dumbass and don’t really give any fucks about that. I’m more. focused on the fact that. that fucking brain structure. its all split up wrong. Jekyll. Jekyll why were you drawing fantasy maps on the brain what were you trying to accomplish.

GUYS GUYSGUYS GUYS QUICK GET THE CAMERA. GET THE FUCKIN CAMERA. DO THINE EYES DECEIVE ME??! JEKYLL AND FRANKENSTEIN ARE…BONDING??

ok but. oh my gosh. they’re actually pretty cute when they’re not at each others’ throats about science!!

okay Jekyll’s prooobably going to open the door and start giggling and brainrotting over fucking chemistry notes with his childhood idol but. it would be funnier if he just slot it through the gap under the door for her to read. and they just spend the next 10 minutes arguing over Jekyll’s handwriting.

but what might also happen is Frankie goes into the lab to see for herself…and going off the wip Sage posted on Xitter, might just help Jekyll find the ingredients needed to make the potion that would fix this mess.

at any rate these two are slowly gaining insight of each other and Frankie finally thinks Jekyll’s worth some of her respect!! guys. I am. so normal over their bonding sessions.

imagine Creature just standing in the corner waiting for them to hurry up and finish the character-developing conversation so they could just leave already. probably not even far off from the truth.

thats it folks! thanks for reading :D