#rants about my exwife

[brokendreamsandpyramidschemes]

I saw you naked before I saw your armour. And I don't mean that about your body.

And I while I am a fan of how you look in that suit of hardened armour, especially when I get to watch you put it in. It would kill me if you truly undressed from the layers of it. And all I can say is how I now have nothing but a deathwish.

[headtothecoast]

jaskier as a standup comedian. hear me out

i considered having geralt be an audience member who he gets to laugh, front row, yen made him go with her, doesn’t laugh at the whole set until jaskier picks yen for the audience part, says something and geralt just looses it. so of course jaskier seeks him out after the set by going to the bar and just plain hoping and they do go home together and it’s fantastic

but also consider, geralt is some professional something or other, maybe an actor who only does scary/professional roles and sometimes gets a bad rap because he doesn’t always get on well with other actors (he doesn’t agree with business practices of treating crew members poorly, offers to help crew set stuff up, helps out when animals are on set that kind of thing but also like, if his coworker or producer or director is sexist he will e n d y o u so some actors don’t like him because he protects women cast mates and just generally isn’t a prick) and also doesn’t interview well. he’s gruff and doesn’t actually like the limelight but his agent (and exwife) yen talked him into it and it’s a good paycheck for their daughter and sometimes he does like the movies he works on (after all, he did some work with these guys eskel lambert and vesemir and they ended up being like brothers and a father who taught him stuff about the business) anyway i digress. geralt is a stonefaced actor who is always cast as an assassin or something or a hunter or a butcher and he doesn’t always appreciate that

so jaskier is a comedian and geralt doesn’t care if jaskier tells jokes about him (and yes some of his comedy is musical/he writes songs on the side) but similar to john mulaney, none of jaskiers jokes about geralt are mean. like, none of them are even a little bit like toeing the line. geralt makes a point not to watch jaskiers comedy because he really doesn’t want to know what his boyfriend/fiancé says about him onstage even if it’s an act so geralt doesn’t realize that audience think he is the sweetest and kindest person ever while jaskier is just a f e r a l c h a o t i c d u m b a s s and geralt must be a saint for putting up with him. and sometimes jaskier cries on stage while talking about geralt adopting roach after a shoot and how sweet he is but like the point of the story was that he accidentally set the barn on fire so audiences are astounded that the man is even alive by the end of the shows.

but so geralt is doing press for a movie and it’s no secret that he and jaskier are dating, tho it might not be public knowledge they’re engaged and a late night host brings up jaskiers stand-up and geralt says something about how he too would make fun of himself on stage, idk something self deprecating about what he thinks jaskier would complain about (stoic, scary looking, disruptive in bars sticking up for people, easily recognized everywhere because of the hair, temper) and the host shows him a clip of jaskiers recent tour where he’s standing on stage saying stuff like “yes i’m aware they cast him as a murderer” or something “but once you see him braid ciri (also actress but out of the business because of legal battle with producer who tried something when she was a child actress and has a restraining order against not geralt but yen)‘s hair while humming the golden girls intro you just don’t see it anymore. like it’s impossible for him to scare me because i know his secret, he eats cereal out of the box just like the rest of us and sometimes he lets me have the toy except for the one time i-“ and sure geralt has maybe noticed some people like hosts and coworkers being nicer to him and fans approached him a little more now but he hadn’t realized jaskier didn’t make him the butt of the joke. so he says as much, gruffly but endearing to the audience that he only saw stuff from before they were together because he wouldn’t begrudge him needing an audience to vent to, or something. and so the interviewer keeps asking him about jaskier and geralt just goes all soft on tv.

and of course jaskier watches all of his interviews and when he sees that one he tears up because he didn’t realize geralt thought he made fun of him on stage. he heard his voice sometimes on the tv or geralts phone but he hadn’t put together it was only his older comedy and jaskier breaks a little when he talks to geralt about it. jaskier asks why he would agree to a partner who he thought made fun of him in front of thousands of people and geralt says he never did it to his face, or seemed unhappy so what’s the problem?

and to fix that jaskier writes a new set that is scathing about hollywood. he makes jokes about actors and actresses who were mean to geralt or producers and directors who asked him to do things he didn’t want to or take advantage of actresses. netflix approaches him to film the special and he writes an intro song about geralt that leads into it and jaskier rants about men in bars that geralt stand up to even if the women he helps don’t appreciate it because they’re drunk and scared of him. or when they get called f*gs in target grocery shopping and other awful things and jaskier is just feral and angry on stage and it’s absolutely ruthless comedy. he kills it.

so when it comes time to do press for the show, he fires his agent and gets geralt to do press with him. and almost immediately people like geralt. seeing someone so bestotted and amused where he had only ever been cast as cold and angry gave him an overnight following. jaskier made him approachable, or at least showed others he had always been safe to approach. and so with chaotic feral jaskier snapping witty remarks back and forth with talk show hosts geralt would sit with a slight smile, a bark of laughter and occasionally a sardonic or sarcastic line that would earn him a blinding smile from jaskier and audiences went wild for it. and geralt just sits there and appreciates this man who singlehandedly turned his career around and went after hollywood for him.

so maybe geralt gets cast in kinder roles and maybe jaskier posts little things on his instagram of geralt crying while watching the movie spirit or drunkenly telling roach he loves her. and when they get engaged or people accidentally find out they’re engaged jaskier couldn’t be happier because the whole damn world knows geralt is his and it doesn’t matter if he tanks a comedy career because he would burn hollywood to ash for this man.

anyway thank you for coming to my TEDtalk if someone wants to write this tag me!

[wldthoughtz]

Love.

AJ Styles (fluff)

(I don’t own this GIF!)

He knew he shouldn’t be staring at her and he definitely knew he shouldn’t be fantasizing about her laying under him. A shudder passed through his body at the image that played through his mind of her bare body bouncing against the mattress as he pounded into her. He almost moaned out loud but was quickly brought back for his daydream when Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson took up the seats in front of him.

“Might want to wipe that drool off your face man,” Karl smirked as he began picking at his food plate. Luke chuckled slapping Karl on the back of the head before turning back to him, matching Karl’s smirk.

“Shut the f*ck up,” He growled at them unexpectedly loud catching the attention of the few people in the room including the temptress herself. She glanced up at him tilting her head almost like she was asking if everything was ok. He stopped breathing for a moment as he stared straight into her glimmering eyes before Luke nudged him under the table causing him to send her a quick smile. Her glossy lips returned a bright happy smile to him before she returned to her conversation with Jeff Hardy.

“Man, that’s a dangerous game you’re play,” Luke said shaking his head at him as he pushed a forkful of rice into his mouth.

He broke his gaze away from her and looked over at Luke, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He breathed out pushing around his own food on the plate.

“AJ man I get you just got out of a bad marriage.” Karl stated lowly enough for only them to hear, “But you shouldn’t be pinning over Angel like that... she’s way to young for you brother.” He said before forking a piece of steak.

He let out a sigh as he glanced over at her and saw her laughing at something Jeff had said before tucking a strand of her big curled hair behind her ear. Someone caller name and she hugged Jeff quickly causing AJ to tense up and clench his fists. He watched her pick up her title before walking out of catering for her match against Nia. Once she vanished from the room he turned back to Karl, nodding his head. “I know man. I know. I’ve tried, trust me I’ve tried.” He sighed out putting his head in hands, “But I just can’t! Every thought I have, every emotion I feel, everything that I do all goes back to her.” The sound of exasperation filled his voice, “She’s all I think about no matter what it is… she’s always the first thing to cross my mind… I don’t know if its her gorgeous smile, hot ass body, loving personality, strong determination, empathy, passion for wrestling, power, courage, immense gratitude, or the fact that everyone loves her.” He breathed out in frustration. Just thinking about all her qualities made his heart swell.

He noticed the silence from Luke and Karl and glanced at them to see a pure look of shock across both of their faces. “AJ… Man...” Karl breathed out in disbelief not being able to finish his sentence he glanced at Luke who was also at a loss for words.

“I know okay! I know… I just don’t know what to do. From the first day I saw that woman she hooked me. Every time I hear her name or see a picture of her my heart beat sky rockets! Then she does that thing where she congratulates me after every match no matter if I win or lose... she makes me feel like a f*cking champ, and I know she does that with everyone but dammit! It makes me all warm inside… And she’s so damn nice and everyone loves her! And I hate seeing all those assholes put their hands on her! I don’t care if it’s a hug or a high five! I can’t stand that shit! And don’t get me started on that body of hers! She’s freakin hot and it drives me crazy! And its not fair that I get hard every time I see her! And I know I shouldn’t feel or think any of these things but dammit I can’t help it…” he groaned out the last part breathless from his rant. He glanced around the catering room and noticed that Jeff was the only one in there aside from them, he had his headphones on probably listening to music, which was a good thing since he had gotten pretty vocal in his rant.

“I’ve tried to avoid her but no matter what I do, I end up closer to her,” He breathed. “I don’t know what I’m feeling but dammit it scares me!” He groaned out looking up at his friends who gave him a pitiful look.

“Damn man….” Luke breathed out patting AJ’s arm, “In all honesty man… the way you’re talking I think you’re in love with her.” He whispered out. Karl nodded in agreement with Luke as he reached over and patted his friend on the shoulder.

AJ glanced at them and sighed heavily, “Yeah… I think that’s what I’m afraid of admitting to myself.” He breathed out running his hand through his hair. “Thing is…  what I feel for her, I’ve never felt that with anyone else… not even my exwife.”  

Karl gave AJ a sad smile as he nodded his head, “And how are you and your exwife?” he asked.

“…Not good... still getting use to the arrangement with the kids and she’s just wanting more money.” He breathed out, a small smile graced his lips as he caught sight of a promotion poster of Angel and Brock Lesner for Summerslam. Luke and Karl noticed the odd smile and glanced to where he was staring. They both turned to each other giving each other a knowing glance before turning back to AJ when he spoke. “She makes it all better… I don’t know how many times she’s listened to me vent to her about my problems. All she’d ever tell me was that my happiness should come before anything.” He sighed out. “Rey told me last week that she was going on a date with Jeff after the show. I don’t know what came over me, but I went crazy. I went to her hotel room that night and she was there watching movies alone. The relief I felt knowing that she wasn’t with anyone else scared me and I stayed with her the whole night. We didn’t do anything we just slept together and man I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t the best night of my life.” He sighed out.

“Sounds like you’re really going through it man.” Jeff called out from a few tables away from them, removing his headphones. AJ raised his eyebrow at Jeff as Luke and Karl turned back to also glance back at Jeff. “For the record we were supposed to go out last week, but she bailed on me. Now I know why.” He stated before sipping his Gatorade as he got up from the table and made his way over to them.

AJ grew tense again as Jeff took the seat at the end of the table between Luke and himself. “Aren’t you married Jeff?” AJ breathed out with a hint of venom in his voice.

“Yeah I am... But like every other man I’d drop my wife for that woman in a heartbeat.” He smirked sipping his Gatorade again as he watched a menacing look grow on AJ’s face, “I took my shot, but she told me she wasn’t interested, said she doesn’t do married men.” He stated his smirk turning into a scowl as he stared at AJ. “But now I know the real reason why.”

“Why do you think she doesn’t want you Jeff? I mean aside from the fact that she has morals.” AJ asked sitting back in his chair with crossed arms as he stared back at Jeff.

Jeff scoffed as he looked between the three men that stared at him before staring back at AJ, “Yeah she’s great hence the reason everyone wants her,” Jeff stated. Causing AJ to roll his eyes at him. “But it’s because she wants you Styles.” He mumbled out taking a big swing of Gatorade. Luke and Karl shared a look of confusion before they turned and watched an unamused look play on AJ’s face.

“Cut he crap Hardy, we both know that’s bullshit.” AJ replied with a stern unimpressed look on his face.

Jeff stared at AJ in disbelief, “You can’t be serious…” he mumbled out squinting his eyes at AJ who just raised an eyebrow at him. Jeff’s hands slammed hard against the table startling the men, “You’re going to tell me that you don’t see how that girl looks at you?... My God styles! Are you blind!? She’s practically all over you! Think about it man she’s always waiting for you after your matches, she goes with you to the trainers when your hurt, and every time you’re around she acts like you’re the only other person on the damn planet! What she sees in you I’ll never understand but Damnit AJ that woman is in love with you!” He growled out at AJ before falling back down in the chair.

Karl and Luke stared at each other stocked at the realization that Jeff was right. There was no way that Angel didn’t feel the same way about AJ.

AJ stared dumbfounded at what Jeff was saying to him. “You think she loves me?” He mumbled out in disbelief. He thought back to all those moments he had spent with her trying to find some truth to the words that Jeff was saying.

Jeff was shocked that AJ hadn’t noticed the beautiful woman’s attraction to him, “I know she does man and after what I heard I know that you love her too.” Jeff stared at his friend and wondered what was running through his mind.

“How can you be sure that she really does love me?” AJ questioned him again not being able to wrap his head around the fact that the young beautiful woman he had fallen in love with, loved him back.

An exasperated sigh left Jeff’s lips, “Because I heard her tell Naomi!” Jeff yelled out startling all three men. AJ was about to question him again when Jeff cut him off, “They were in her dressing room when I went to ask her why she stood me up and I overheard her say, ‘I can’t be with him because he’s older than me and he would never look at me like that’ I kept listening because I assumed she was talking about me, but then Naomi said, ‘He is crazy about you girl, and you know you love that man too. Besides AJ isn’t married anymore,’ I got mad and stopped listening after that.” He sighed out capping his drink sending everyone in the table into a silence.

“I think he’s right man,” Luke said to AJ breaking the whirlwind of thoughts that circled his brain as he tried to piece every bit of information. AJ glanced up at Luke, “The day Joe made you black out from the coquina clutch she was a worried mess. She ran out to the ring and stayed with you in the hospital that whole night waiting for you to wake up. But your exwife showed up in the morning and made her leave.” Luke breathed out sadly.  

AJ thought back to that night he had been in and out of consciousness that night at the hospital. He remembered waking up and feeling someone holding his hand before his mind went blank again. He had regained consciousness later again when he heard someone whisper ‘you have to wake up baby, because I love you and I need you to know that.’ He had thought it was his exwife Wendy, but Luke told him that Wendy hadn’t shown up until the morning.

A small smile slid across AJ’s face in realization, “She loves me” he whispered quietly catching the attention of the other three men at the table. Without another thought he stood quickly and began to run out of the room.

“AJ!” Karl called after him, “Where are you going?” Karl yelled again as AJ bolted out of the room. He and Luke shared a confused glance as the turned to face a smiling Hardy. “He’s going to get his girl,” Jeff smirked. Luke and Karl looked back at each other before they began cheering and call out.

“Go get her man!” Karl said whooping loudly. “Get your woman!” Luke yelled loudly causing AJ’s smile to double as he raced down the hallways towards gorilla. He could hear her music blare through the arena signaling the end of the match and her victory which caused him to run faster.

He finally reached the hallway and saw Nia holding her left side as she limped with medical staff helping her. He smirked thinking about the beating that his girl must have given her for her to need medical attention. ‘His girl’ he loved the sound of that he thought to himself as flew by Nia and the rest of the people down the hall.

The black curtain flew open as she stepped through, angelic lights glowed around her as she walked inside with a small limp in her step. She looked up and noticed AJ racing down the hallway. “AJ wha-,” a loud squeal left her lips as AJ scooped her up spinning her in a circle. He smiled brightly up at her as he herd the giggles that left her lips. He brought her down keeping his arms around her bare waist while her’s rested on his biceps. Her eyes stayed locked with his as they both held beaming smiles on their faces.

She looked gorgeous as she slightly panting from her match, “Is everything okay AJ?” She whispers softly up to him.

He can’t help the flutter in his chest at the sound of his name leaving her perfect lips. “Everything’s perfect,” He breaths down at her as he strokes her waist up and down softly. “I love you.” he whispered down at her.

A look of shock falls on her face, “What?” She breathed out staring at him in disbelief. 

He smiled brightly as he stared at her confused face, “I love you Angelina Cruz!” he exclaimed. He watches a smile grow on her lips as she pulls him down by his neck connecting their lips. His hands circle around her waist pulling her closer into him as her hands hold the collar of his T-shirt. 

They both break apart panting at the sound of clapping, gazing around the room they notice their friends and some staff clapping and cheering them on. Angel blushes hiding her face in his chest as he chuckles at her reaction. “Are you going to say it back?” He whispers down into her ear. 

She looks up and flashes him a million dollar smile, “I love you AJ Styles!” She yells out before pulling him back down into a kiss as the room quickly fills with more cheers and whistles. 

End.

Like this? Check out my other stories!

Mine: Roman Reigns (Smut)

“I got you baby.”: Seth Rollins

Congratulations: Seth Rollins (Smut)

“She’s mine”: Seth Rollins/Finn Balor

Believe: Finn Balor

[effervescentnonsense]

Rant incoming, regarding Some Bullshit and Abusive People

Scroll on if you arent about that

Two rentals ive lived in in a row now, I have been bullied and verbally abused and manipulated and targetted by someone who gets off on pissing other people off and being controlling.

I am so sick and tired of being used and abused like this. One of them was a former friend who I now see was always controlling and manipulative, they just preferred admiration as their primary "take"

This new man, who is twice my age, a random stranger the landlord leased to in the 3bdrm place i live in (im a 29yr old afab), has known me for less than a month, and picked his first fight with me monday night, over an unswept floor, a shower curtain bunched up, and a wet footprints in the bathroom. He used these as an excuse, plus being drunk, to verbally berate and belittle me for several minutes, calling me a slob and and "as bad as (alcoholic other roommate, also a middle aged man)". The house is very clean. Yes, the floor needs to be swept more often, but this was the first time he ever voiced concerns over the other things. And none of that makes someone deserving of being abused.

He has only known me 3 weeks and he knows a little of the stuff i have been through because i foolishly told him. And in one argument he tried to set off every trigger he could think of.

When i told him the next day i didnt appreciate being spoken to that way, and that there are better ways to communicate than that, he was unapologetic. "Thats how its going to be, because you dont fucking listen".

What didnt I hear, asshole? You spouting anti-asian racism when our landlord is a Chinese woman? Your conspiracy theory bullshit about China is funding Russia? Because yes, I did stop listening to that shit. If i wanted to hear some quack theories, I'd ask the ducks at the pond about astrophysics. You're a power tripping little man who thinks he is so much smarter than everyone, that you admit to manipulating the alcoholic, but think I don't see your attempts at doing the same to me now?

He is a divorcee with no job, his kids and exwife dont want him around, his only friend is his cousin, he just dropped a long standing friendship with a man who was his boss for a little bit. No one wants to be around that, and for good reason.

But I've known enough people like this that I know how deeply insecure and guilty he is. But he is in denial of it. He acts egotistical to cover up the fact that he is deeply ashamed of himself. He is controlling and manipulative because he feels so small and out of control that using others like chess pieces makes him feel strong.

I'm going to talk to the landlord when I can, because I am not staying around someone like that.

I just want peace, and i want to be treated with respect.

My mom keeps saying "theres some lesson here you need to learn" but the only thing i havent tried yet is unleashing my anger on this jackass, but i dont want him to get the satisfaction. He isnt worthy of my rage, he isnt worth the trouble. I dont need to stoop to his level or play his games. He is the pigeon on the chessboard, and the only way to win against someone who is going to knock all the pieces over and shit on the board if they start to lose? Is to not play at all.

[yourlocalwitchthings-blog]

I need to rant for a minute and all my friends are asleep, like functioning human beings

My family likes to tease each other. A lot. My oldest brother gets teased for being a stoner, for his crazy exwife, for his ditzy girlfriend, and the typical “I remember changing your diapers, I’m not impressed,” jokes. My grandma gets teased for her shit memory, shit hearing, and lack of self-control around other people’s Ben and Jerry’s ice cream (Hands off my Cherry Garcia or I will cut you). Lately, she had a seizure and lost the sight in one eye, so we’ve been teasing her about how she just NEEDED to go twinsies with my eldest brother, who lost the sight in his right eye when he was three. 

They tease me about many, many things. Once they’ve found something that really gets a rise out of you, they latch on like bulldogs; lock-jawed with a single-minded determination. I’m okay with being teased about my weight, my interests, my adorable and sweet but VERY DUMB dog. It’s all in good fun and is never meant to cause any harm. 

I HATE when they tease me about my complete lack of a love life. I turn twenty-five in April, I’ve been on a grand total of four dates- FIRST dates- in my life, It’s been over a decade since my first and last kiss. I can’t hang out with my guy friend Cale without everyone in my multi-generational household asking when we’re getting married, making sex jokes about us, my grandma trying to convince him to be a sperm donor so she can have more great-grandbabies (which I’m convinced she’s more than half-serious about)

It’s not like I don’t want to date. In fact, my only desire for my life is to fall in love, raise a family of my own, and die surrounded by everyone I love. I have no ambition when it comes to a career or anything else a modern woman is supposed to want. No one wants me in any meaningful manner. For the most part, I’ve come to terms with that. Years of complete disregard kinda makes a girl bitter about the whole “there’s someone for everyone” sentiment. I don’t need it rubbed in my face like a dog who made a mess of the carpet. 

[milquetoast-on-acid]

All In, A Reactionary Post

The one where Andy Lies

Major Crimes, S2xE14: Episode Review What this episode is about: Accidentally screwing your family and friends Dietz Andy Meta Shandy: Doors & Windows Putting all of your cards on the table Aubrey Dietz & Mr Dietz Sharon & Rusty Sharon & Andy & Provenza

I have to say, as a Shandy fan. I've been waiting to review this episode. While it's not Acting Out level of Shandy it's still an adorable episode.

That thing about names...

I also love at this point Sharon is calling her squadmates by their first names.

Mike, Julio...and then of course Lieutenant because of how much he hates his first name. I feel like that stands out more in MC because they all use first names verses TC when names and ranks were the norm. To me it make sense for them to use their first names regularly at this point as some of these people have been working together for 10 years.

"Can we call him scam-y? Naming him techy is derogatory to those of us who -" Also I just noticed the names of their suspects.

Dr Charles Mason....so close to Charles Mansion. And Aubrey Dietz was a former soap opera producer. haha. Plus the contractor broke his leg. I'm not sure what that has to do with the crime but maybe the victim broke it? And I love their nicknames for their suspects here that sound like the seven dwarfs. Sonny, Techy, Limpy, Roomie, Wifey and Doc.

Accidentally screwing your family and friends

Dietz

"You were always rich. You had a father who cared so much for his family that he did every crazy thing he could do for trying to make up for all of his failings."

The poor guy just wanted to take care of his family and sadly gets killed for his money by his own wife. Andy certainly is taking his anger out on the family as he reconizes him and his family in them.

Andy Almost right away we get a very distracted Andy. Provenza notices immediately. Especially when Andy goes off on a very odd tangent about the Nutcracker. As we have come to learn about Andy Flynn is that when is mind is preoccupied about something else (generally something involving Sharon) he becomes so distracted that he has a hard time concentrating on anything else. 

"It sounds like our victim accidentally screwed his family and friends. Got overly desperate to fix things and ended up murdered for his 500,000 dollars." I love how Andy jumps in after they've all covered that because of how preoccupied he is with is own situation. Before we even know what's going on with him these two sentences sum it up for us quite nicely.

Then in the Morgue Andy points out that the man found at the bottom some shallow marsh in a golf course with golf club sized holes in his head is suspicious. Sharon and Provenza share a look. And later on Sharon takes note of it herself as she looks to Andy and then back towards Provenza.

Putting all of your cards on the table

Sharon, Rusty & Emma

Sharon has put all of her cards on the table. She wants Rusty to have a psych eval. Rusty seems to finally come around to it but he doesn't want anyone to know what he talked about with Dr Joe. Sharon's also holds all of the legal cards in her hand against Emma. 

Emma once again having issues with how Sharon does things regarding Rusty. Is Emma so insecure about not winning the trial against Stroh that Sharon seeking therapy for Rusty is going to do so much damage to the prosecution? It sounds absolutely ridiculous to me. I thought we were making progress here Emma. Not to mention that it sets off Rusty who had been so uncomfortable and reluctant in the first place. 

I do love how the squad attempts to put Rusty's fears to rest. Provenza is like don't even worry about it. Amy says that she's been to therapy and Andy confesses that he's seeing one right now. To which everyone turns around and looks at him.

And he gets awkward and embarrassed by saying he's sort of seeing one. So I've got some feelings about this scene. It's cute and hilarious. On top of that, their doing their best to really highlight how strange Andy's behavior is in this episode. Andy admitting to seeing a therapist ranks right up there. Maybe it's the fact that Andy would go to someone else for help in his personal life. Or maybe it's just that he's seeing a councilor that has everyone taken aback. 

Add that to this quick shot of Julio and Mike exchanging a look between themselves. In amusement and surprise. 

"You wana stop worrying that we'll somehow lose the kid in an SIS opperation. Even though that's never happened before in the history of this department..." Foreshadowing much?

I also love Rusty finally unloading on Emma. And how she's trying to stop him from seeing a doctor. As it seems he's finally on board with talking to a therapist and recognizes that it will be good for him. 

Both Sharon and Provenza try so hard not to laugh in front of her. 

"I do not need to ask your permission to seek medical attention for my son." After all of Emma and Taylor's talk about why Sharon would want to keep Rusty. And how much they want him in witness protection. This is the reason why not right here. And at this point Sharon isn't taken aback by her own feeling towards Rusty. This is my son and I have the legal rights as any mother does. Plus the fact that we have Sharon here who knows the law inside and out. Who wanted to be a lawyer. You don't stand much a chance Emma. 

Love this scene between Sharon and Rusty. Feels so much like a mother and her teenage son. Rusty is worried that everyone is going to know his deepest darkest secrets. And complains that the trial is going to last the rest of his life.

Doors and Windows

So once Sharon & Andy got engaged I made a post about windows and doors. And there use in Sharon & Andy's relationship. This episode is really the beginning of that. Notice how Provenza shuts Andy out of Sharon's office. Andy is not allowed into Sharon's heart. Who is in there though but Rusty. Who Sharon already loves and in fact tells Emma this when she talks about her legal rights over her son.

But he's got a little window in there and Sharon certainly takes notice. She even asks Provenza if Andy's depressed. Because of his distracted state and other odd behavior such as seeing a therapist.

It's a bit like a father trying to keep his daughter away from the boy who’s dated every girl on the playground and now has his heart set on her. Every once and a while, when Dad's not home the boy throws rocks at the girls window to get her attention. 

Andy hangs around Sharon's office looking in her window. Not odd behavior at all. Gives her this adorable sad face. Which apparently is something he realized that he can use to get himself out of trouble with her. Or at least try because sometimes that sad face doesn't work.

Sharon/Andy and Provenza

When it comes to Shandy it's starting to become a pattern that whenever something is about to happen Provenza seems to be caught in the middle of it. And as the two closest people to Andy, both Sharon and Provenza are the first ones to make note of (and follow) Andy's odd behavior. 

In The Deep End Sharon and Provenza conspired together to nudge Andy into going to Nicole's wedding. It's only made obvious at the end of the episode when Sharon reveals to Andy that Provenza 'volunteered' to take Rusty out for burgers so she would be free to go to the wedding with Andy. This is the start of Provenza's Shandy headaches and the irony of it all is that he started it. 

So now the truth about Andy's behavior finally comes out. He sorta lied to his exwife. Which means he implied that him and Sharon are dating. And he doesn't correct his family. The question is why would he do that? Why would he mislead them about that? I get why he wouldn't want to correct them after the fact because then he'd just get himself into deep shit. Which does eventually happen later on down the road. But why lie in the first place? Love the look on Provenza's face. Like what did you do!?

Andy later on asks Provenzas advice on wheither or not Sharon would think going to the nutcracker with him would be a date. So here is where I am with that. In The Deep End, HE was the one that brought up the whole date thing. She was firmly against calling it a date. She stated explisitly that they were just two friends going to a wedding together and that it couldnt be a date because she was married. He could explain the whole situation to her but he doesn't want to. Because that would get him in trouble with her and his family. But this is even more foreshadowing for EVERYONE making the assumption that they are dating. Which they kinda end up doing and not really acknowledging it. 

I also love Provenza's quip here. "Who you should really ask is your psychiatrist. To ask you what the hell are you thinking?" Provenza sees this going in one direction and one direction only. That would be the road to disaster-ville. 

"And the Nutcracker is famous. Maybe the Captain might like it." "Flynn, the Captain's daughter is a dancer in the American Ballet Theatre. She has probably seen the nutcracker a thousand times." Yes but have you seen this woman's home? 90% of her art pieces in there are all about dancing. I think that extends beyond just being interested in her daughters chosen career. I'd say that Emily's love of the ballet is something that originally came from Sharon. 

I love how Andy gets all excited and starts ranting when his plan is falling apart. Because of how much he wants to spend time with his kids. And that's the reason right there. The reason why he lied about his relationship with Sharon in the first place. You can't fault Andy for trying. Even if it was stupid. 

Sharon is what finally made his family see that he had changed. Even though he's done a ton of stuff on his own to change his behavior. Becoming a more stable individual, like being sober and in AA for roughly 18 years at this point. A successful career as a detective in an elite division.

There seems to have been some slight progress through the years in the development in his relationship with his children. As he was invited to walk Nicole down the aisle at her wedding. However, Andy implies near the end of the episode, that he doesn't see his kids on a regular basis and how much he wants that to change. Them seeing a woman around him like Sharon who saw him in a positive light and had such a great realtionship with him. Well...that seemed to make his own family start to look at him differently. He keyed in on that and their very positive reactions to her. And used that to push his relationship with them further. 

Provenza offering to go with Andy is not the same thing but I do love that when the chips are down Provenza will do his best to come through for his friend. I can't see Provenza enjoying something like the ballet. While Andy agrees to Provenza's idea he is rather dejected about it. It is a solution that sits better with Provenza then it does with Andy.

Except that... Andy actually wanted to bring Sharon along. Because I think at this point Andy's not in love with Sharon but he is starting to develop feelings for her. Provenza of course is seeing this and wants to nip that in the bud. He knows his friend. The fact that Andy's started having an interest in their commanding officer. All Provenza sees at this point is drama drama drama. And also Gabriel and Daniels. The disaster that he had to solve.

It's also interesting that during each scene when Andy asks Sharon out from seasons 2-4. The both of them end up wearing the same blazers. Andy makes up his little lie about Nicole wanting someone there who knows about ballet up rather quickly. Which Sharon sees through right away - although she's not sure what his real reasoning is.  

What I don't like: Couldn't they have gotten a better wig for roomie? Can't say I'm that big a fan of the case this episode but it's really the personal stories that shine in this episode. And clearing the bedroom without looking under the bed. Seems like such a rookie mistake. That we don't actually get to see Sharon & Andy at the nutcracker and his family with their huge assumptions of them dating. 

What I like: The beginning of the Sharon/Andy and their 'not dating' dating relationship. I had already known before I started watching MC that Sharon & Andy were going to become a couple and I thought this would be the episode they'd become one. Little did I know. What I do like is that there was follow up on Andy's lie that ends up turning into a bit of a disaster for him next year.