#ray x mew

[raypakorn]

something something mew keeps ray as the burden/problem he believes himself to be something something sand is trying to help him heal/protect him (x)

bonus - ray can't leave the past/trauma behind him to be happy because it has such a hold on him but maybe in the future

[sunsetandthemoon]

"I’m glad you picked Sand though. Aren’t you mad? I don’t have the right to be. You’re the one that should be mad. You can clearly see I dated you just to hurt Top."

Only Friends (2023)

[i-got-the-feels]

I still love you, Mew

- Ray, Only Friends, 2023

dedicating this basic-ass set to @mooninagust because their this set reminded me of this poem and this happened

[earthfluuke]

Only Friends Ep. 8 + Kisses

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends EP4 / EP8 | Ray & Sand vs Ray & Mew

In Episode 8, both Ray and Mew were having to assure one another that they weren't bored in each other's company. It made me wonder how much time they used to spend as friends, because there was a definite air of stiffness between them.

At the start of the episode, Sand claims he shares nothing in common with Ray (which is untrue) but also an attempt to deny their obvious chemistry. Yes they differ vastly in background and perhaps compatibility on paper but in spite of that, they get on very well. In direct parallel, Mew doesn't share anything in common with Top either, and yet he clearly misses spending time with him.

Neither Ray or Mew are able to find true fulfilment when they're actually alone as a couple, especially when you compare how they behave with their other romantic interests. You either have chemistry or you don't. And you can't force that, no matter how hard you try.

[segueintoromanticism]

ngl I was really vibing with the raymew scene with the bg music chemistry n all but then I saw this grown ass man suffering the consequences of his own actions and immediately went NOPE NOT COOL

[justme-1723]

To Mew at his birthday party: “In my entire life, no one has ever been more loving and caring to me than you.”

In therapy during an exercise where he was asked to picture the person he loved in front of him (Sand): “On this earth, there’s no one who’s more caring or loving than you.”

[evaristelonely]

Top and Ray snarling over Mew and being ready to rip him to shreds, but ending up fucking different guys the same evening, is the best thing about the trailer

[xceanlynx]

I don't think Ray has ever really loved Mew romantically. Not ever.

The thing is, when you are deprived of love your entire life, it's very hard to differentiate between platonic love, romantic love and gratitude.

Ray was at his lowest. We still don't have enough information to understand exactly how his familial relationships shaped him as the person he is, but from what it was implied, he never really felt like he belonged to anywhere, to anyone. His understanding of love is already distorted - the person that society says is supposed to love him the most, his mom, didn't love him, or she did in a toxic, abusive way. The only person close enough to him to form a similar bond (the bond of healthy dependency) with was Mew.

Ray never had love before Mew. Not from his family, not from other friends, not from himself. How could he differentiate between all of these kinds of love? No one would be able to.

Mew saved Ray, who already saw him as his bestest friend, the one he could count on. Saving him from his attempt just solidified it in his mind - Mew is the one who could save him. Mew is the only one that showed him love, true love. But Ray doesn't understand that there are different kinds of love. A friend's love can be just as strong as a lover's love for someone, but they are still different kinds of love.

To Ray, if he lets Mew go, he will be letting go the only form of love he has ever known. He sees Top as competition because he doesn't understand that love can have different facets (also Boston is feeding his ill brain with shit but that's just a small part of it all). He is afraid of being in that position again, of being lonely again, when no one - not even himself - loved him. He is afraid that, when a newcomer arrives in the friend group, a player, someone that "obviously" do not love Mew the same way as Ray does, and Mew actually likes the player back, he will be set aside. Because Mew likes someone romantically, and romantic love is more valued anyway, so no matter how many times Mew says he loves Ray, it will not be enough. I could write an entire book about this specific topic through an aroace lens, but this is not the point of this post.

Now we see Ray, after being rejected by Mew (rightfully so - Mew did a very good job setting and enforcing his boundaries), seeing in Sand another person that could love him, that could take care of him when no one else would. There is hope, in his perspective, that another person can and will love him. He even begin to repeat the same patterns he experienced in his life with Sand: asking him to curse him won't bother him because it's what he was used to his entire life. That's normal life to him. That's what people who are supposed to care about him do anyway (Mew being just enough outside of the standard to make Ray obsessed). What Ray still doesn't know is that NO OUTSIDE LOVE can save someone.

What I mean is, the only hope for Ray to live a joyful and fulfilling life, is if he starts loving himself. It does sound cliché, but it's true. No amount of love from other people can save someone. It's not family, friends, lovers, or even God and religion that is going to save someone from themselves. They can and do absolutely help, but at the end of the day the willpower must come from inside. His self loathing, his hatred, his low self esteem caused by whatever trauma he holds will only get better if he works on himself of his on volition. For Ray to understand it, I'm afraid only with psychological and medical help - and this is how other people can help.

I have high hopes for his character development. As someone who went through similar stuff (don't worry, I've been through years of therapy and it had no hard drugs involved), some scenes can be quite triggering, but I still very much enjoy what they are doing with his character, by far the one I can relate the most. Ray is a complicated, flawed character and definitely not the cup of tea for everyone in audience, but I can't help being fascinated. I do hope his development won't fall flat at the end of the series.

(also, Khaotung made me cry again. Thank you for your acting, sir. I know you will destroy me eventually.)

[rayandgay]

ray finally getting what he's (always thought he) wanted aka dating mew and yet not being able to stop thinking about sand for one day.. delicious food

[raypakorn]

the way he clings to these people like a life preserver but thinks he has to pay them back in the same manner because he doesn't want to be just a burden to them, wants to show that he has worth in their lives...it's fine..i'm fine

[onmyscreens-blog]

What the freack?

💔

Yet you are going out with someone else

I don't think so

I feel so bad for him. 😞

[i-got-the-feels]

Only Friends (romantic-ish) Dynamics + Novel Covers

Dedicating this set to Lovely @sunsetandthemoon because her sets helped me survive not watching only friends during exams

Read more about the titles below the cut

Playing With My Hunter - Nick x Boston's relationship in Nick's POV

The First Guy To Make My Heart Tremble - Top x Mew's relationship in Mew's POV

Chasing The Sweet Virgin - Top x Mew's relationship in Top's POV

The Top-Tier Guy And I - Boston x Top's relationship from Boston's POV

Friends That Cannot Stop Kissing - Ray and Sand's relationship from Sand's POV

Our Friendship Began With Sex - Ray and Sand's relationship from Ray's POV

Caught In My Frame - Boston and Nick's relationship from Boston's POV

Just Friends? Just Friends - Mew and Ray's relationship from Ray's POV

[prapaiwife]

And also the whole concept of blind dining in the darkness. In a way can compare to that saying I'm blinded by love and some people say this in an endearing way and sometimes this can be said in a very much alarming way and in this case I think we all know which one it is. Cause clearly seeing all of the red flags from someone u have two choices either listen or ignore. All of the signs that this person is going to do nothing but ruin you but you fight against that feeling because you want to be proven wrong with this person and they wouldn't hurt you. But at the same time you know that it's inevitable because with red flags they don't go away if anything they become brighter and brighter and now at that point you're just choosing to be blind and ignore it.

[thatgirl4815]

Just piggybacking onto an earlier Ask pointing out how Ray doesn't react when Top holds Mew's hands - I actually found that whole sequence starting from the coke-snorting quite upsetting precisely because of how passive Ray seemed throughout. Admittedly I'm still very angry at Mew so it might be clouding my judgement(!), but first we see Mew's lacklustre response when Ray thanks him for picking him, his almost scoff when Ray tells him he loves him, then we get the avoided kiss and him leading Ray out by the hand, and then the Top confrontation where it felt like Ray had been totally reduced to an accessory - he's virtually silent throughout, his face is mostly pretty blank, and he doesn't even really react when Mew throws his drink in Top's face, and definitely doesn't look like he's enjoying the encounter, at least until Mew kisses him. Mew might have been the one in the collar but in that scene it's Ray that reminded me of a dog, and it just made me super sad. It's yet another reason they shouldn't be a couple - Ray's sense of self is entirely subsumed by Mew when they're together because of the imbalance in their relationship aka Ray's idolisation (which in itself obviously isn't Mew's fault - it's when he takes advantage of it that I get mad). We see it even before they "get together" - in almost all their 1:1 scenes, Ray immediately deflects any attention back onto Mew. The only time we really see him express his own agency is unfortunately/disastrously a) the bathtub scene, b) when he kisses him while he's sleeping, and c) his ep 6 meltdown (I'm not counting the end of ep 7 convo cos I 100% believe Ray wouldn't have brought anything up if Mew hadn't led the convo in that direction). Anyway, don't really have a point much beyond expressing how, given what happened beforehand, Ray still just makes me ache with pity and sadness, even after he turns on Sand.

“Mew might have been the one in the collar but in that scene it's Ray that reminded me of a dog”

^Yes, that is a perfect way to describe it!! I think all the context before Ray’s fight with Sand is what makes that scene hit so much different than it does in the Ep8 preview. That might also be why we see Ray fade to the background so much during the encounter between Top and Mew. Ray’s realizing that he’s only a pawn in Mew’s revenge plot.

You’re right—Ray’s agency with Mew is extremely limited. The interesting thing is that Ray has kind of imposed these limitations onto himself by putting Mew on such a pedestal. I think there’s a part of him that is utterly terrified that he will do something wrong and lose Mew. But I suspect there’s another part of him that wants better from Mew; I wouldn’t be surprised if he denies those thoughts though, because he thinks he has no right to them. He has Mew, and that’s already more than he deserves (obviously that’s not true, but I could see that being Ray’s thought process during the scene with Top).

Really, the ways Ray interacts with Mew are so painfully indicative of how much he craves someone to care about him. He’s decided that Mew is that person, so he will do all he can to make it so, even if the reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy. Of course it will take a lot for him to finally admit it won’t work out, simply because he’s spent so long wanting it.

Ahh, tbh the psychological insights are the only compelling aspect of the RayMew dynamic for me, haha. Poor Ray.

[segueintoromanticism]