#rbs would be pretty coolio *wink wonk*

[soras-noodle-arms]

the Winners™ Chapter 1

so i asked you guys whether or not you’d want to read something like this and well i got inspired™ and i’m able to get on lmao so ye here’s chapter 1

i’ve actually got the first two chapters finished so there’s that

i’m gonna give you a list of chat names vs real names as well as some backstory for the characters at the end because i let my friend read it and she was constantly confused about the names

chat name - real name elder - mandy getseth - seth noravioli - norandina ritzy - brittany salt - saleni kartel - karel virus - viran meow - kat tartar - tarulli dolly - dallona error - erral macaronia - maronia onurmarco - marco rikatoni - rikando final - fina jontellini - jontein farfaven - aven

elder added getseth, noravioli, ritzy, salt, kartel, virus, meow, tartar, dolly, error, macaronia, onurmarco, rikatoni, final, jontellini, and farfaven to the chat the Winners™ 

elder: you guys all have the stupidest names omg elder: like seth what the hell does ur name even mean getseth: its our time marco elder: wait what getseth: are you ready elder: what onurmarco: >:3 getseth: >:3 elder: … elder: of course you would rikatoni: that is literally the best thing i’ve ever seen omg friendship goals macaronia: you literally named the five of us using pasta puns rikatoni: SHUT UP MARONIA YOU LOVE IT jontellini: i can’t look at tortellini the same way ever again i hate you farfaven: this is our legacy now jontein your brother named us after pasta you just need to accept it i did years ago rikatoni: wow rikatoni: WOW rikatoni: okay i see how it is rikatoni: betrayed by my best friend and my brother rikatoni: i don’t know which hurts worse farfaven: you’re so overdramatic rikando oh my god rikatoni: and to think i named you after my favorite pasta rikatoni: i don’t need this kind of bs in my life meow: can you dumbos take your pasta talk elsewhere meow: i’m getting hungry but i don’t want to eat this early noravioli: it’s called breakfast and it’s the most important meal of the day meow: i don’t want to eat *pasta this early meow: keep up norandina ritzy: kat don’t be mean… rikatoni: YEAH kat don’t be so MEAN rikatoni: what’d we ever do to you final: what is wrong with you people jontellini: i’m crushed babe final: not you jontein you’re totally normal jontellini: wow final: jk you’re amazing <3 jontellini: <3 rikatoni: ewww you two are so gross and mushy rikatoni: and don’t even lie fina you know you love us farfaven: yeah rikando she likes everyone but you rikatoni: WOW rikatoni: that’s it our friendship is canceled rikatoni: who is this aven you speak of rikatoni: i know no aven final: oh my god farfaven: >:3 onurmarco: heyyy he stole our face getseth: YOU THIEF kartel: sometimes i genuinely wonder about the mental capacity of you people kartel: this chat is a train wreck virus: only sometimes? kartel: you had not spoken a single word viran i was not talking to you shut the hell up virus: exactly kartel: what the hell is that supposed to mean tartar: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE IT’S 9:30 ON A SATURDAY tartar: NONE OF US HAVE SATURDAY CLASSES WHY ARE YOU ALL AWAKE final: oh hey sis tartar: leave me alone final: well dang ok salt: i wake up to this salt: viran salt: my dearest brother salt: what the hell is wrong with you kartel: tHANK you saleni that’s exactly what i was wondering salt: … salt: okay karel kartel: ? salt: i have so many questions kartel: ??? salt: but first is salt: there are so many words that sound like your name salt: of all of them, you picked cartel salt: why kartel: BECAUSE kartel: THAT’S WHY jontellini: mandy this was a horrible idea jontellini: there are way too many people in this chat elder: yeah ur right i have regrets elder: we need to do something onurmarco: already on it!!!!!!! macaronia: is he always this excitable

onurmarco added farfaven, rikatoni, jontellini, noravioli, and macaronia to the chat the pasta quintet

the Winners™

macaronia: i mean… macaronia: seven exclamation points?

onurmarco removed himself from the chat the pasta quintet

the Winners™

getseth: fight me maronia he’s just very exuberant macaronia: wow it’s the elusive protective seth macaronia: ??? macaronia: dude he just added me to a group chat with people i already have a group chat with getseth: shhhhh he’s trying

onurmarco added kartel, dolly, error, tartar, final, virus, and salt to the chat the twin cities squad

the Winners™

kartel: wow he’s really determined isn’t he getseth: karel have you met my best friend

onurmarco removed himself from the chat the twin cities squad

the Winners™

getseth: determined might as well be his middle name onurmarco: HELL YEAH IT IS getseth: ^^^ getseth: see

onurmarco added getseth, elder, ritzy, and meow to the chat travagastor chums

the Winners™

elder: wow onurmarco: X3 there now we’re split up by hometowns error: but smaktria and katrimas are two towns??? onurmarco: ohhhh hi erral bout time u showed up how are u onurmarco: and yeaaah ik but there were less of u from each of smaktria and katrimas than the rest of us and they’re like onurmarco: right next to each other onurmarco: plus they’ve got that cool anagram thing error: fair enough

the twin cities squad

final: oh man my boyfriend’s not in this chat tartar: oh dang i guess ur gonna have to talk to all of us single peasants then final: jealousy doesn’t become u tarulli dolly: i’m so confused what’s happening tartar: DALLONA UR HERE dolly: aaa yeah?? hi dolly: how are you? tartar: i’m good tartar: tired because SOME PEOPLE decided to wake me up at NINE-THIRTY THIS MORNING with an INCESSANTLY VIBRATING PHONE error: wow that started passive-aggressive and then just dove headfirst straight into aggressive tartar: shut up erral ur supposed to be the nice one error: no i’m just the quirky one error: there’s a difference kartel: yeah okay because none of us are quirky error: … error: hush kartel: anyway where’s the asshole and his sister why aren’t they saying anything virus: you rang? salt: i mean at least i’m only the asshole’s sister salt: and not the asshole salt: aaaand never mind he’s not insulted in the slightest salt: why am i surprised, this IS my brother we’re talking about tartar: viran karel literally everyone knows you’re best friends cut the “hating each other act” please virus: but we do hate each other kartel: tarulli this isn’t an act kartel: he’s an ass virus: he’s an insufferable brat tartar: wow they’re even talking over each other this is hilarious dolly: (they are best friends don’t let them fool you) kartel: wow okay dallona you’re just slandering us now dolly: (i even saw them fist bump the other day) kartel: WE DID NOT virus: slander final: riiiight tartar: you guys keep telling yourselves that tartar: we see the friendship u try so much to hide kartel: i will not stand for this virus: blasphemy i have no friends final: they’re even finishing each other’s sentences how cute tartar: uhhh viran the 16 other people in these group chats care to disagree with you there virus: i was not finishing his sentence i was starting my own kartel: we do not finish each other’s sentences fina oh my god dolly: wait hang on kartel: wait what kartel: DALLONA WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU dolly: they’re cuddling tartar: OH MY GOD DALLONA YOU’RE THE BEST kartel: DALLONA YOU ARE THE ACTUAL WORST dolly: 0:3

travagastor chums

onurmarco: hiiii getseth: ur a dork

elder changed the chat name to travaga-holes

meow: wow meow: pleasant elder: thanks i do try ritzy: i don’t get it onurmarco: shhhhhh it’s okayyyy continue being ur precious innocent self onurmarco: mandy ur horrible elder: thanks i try getseth: wow goals onurmarco: seeeeeth what does that mean getseth: wow i hang around you way too much i read that in your voice onurmarco: >:3 getseth: and mandy’s just so chill abt everything i’m envious onurmarco: uh seth have u met u getseth: quiet you elder: HEY KITTY KAT WHERE U BE meow: exhibit a on why i did not make that my chat name meow: and come on mandy i was the first person to speak after you changed the chat name elder: shhhhh i knew that meow: sHhhhHhH i kNew tHaT elder: … elder: did u just mock me meow: dId U jUsT MocK ME getseth: wow i can’t believe kat’s a meme meow: WOw i CaN’t BELieVe kAt’S a MemE getseth: did you just onurmarco: wow seth she just played u getseth: i can’t believe you’re taking her side getseth: i thought we were friends onurmarco: humor takes no sides sethaniel getseth: … getseth: did you actually just call me sethaniel getseth: i’m breaking up our friendship ritzy: marco humor does take sides ritzy: you’re either laughing with someone or at someone onurmarco: awwww brittany dw i was only joking ritzy: heehee i know so was i :3 onurmarco: :3 meow: :3 elder: wow it’s a rare appearance of a kat in her natural state meow: wow i’m leaving this chat onurmarco: NO DON’T I WORKED SO HARD getseth: i love how brittany just lurks on here silently judging us ritzy: i am not judging you guys ritzy: besides you seth ritzy: this judge in: you’re an asshole getseth: wow okay ritzy: oh wait now i get the chat name ritzy: mandy wtf elder: there it is ritzy: i’m breaking up with all of you

the pasta quintet

macaronia: should we just delete this and use our other one or nah jontellini: nah marco made it for us deleting it would be rude macaronia: tru norandina: yeah let’s leave it besides the other one is literally almost five years old jontellini: yeah you’re right farfaven: omg i’m looking over kat’s shoulder and the name mandy made for their chat is hilarious

farfaven changed the chat name to linicha-holes

rikatoni: oh my GOD

the twin cities squad

final: oh my god aven just changed the name of their chat and jontein and i are ROLLING

final changed the chat name to smakatrima-holes

tartar: please remind me to tell aven that i love him

so they all met about two years before this story starts because they all went to the same college.

jontein and fina started dating about a year after they met. they hit it off the first week she joined an art club and snarked it up as usual.

viran and karel hated each other at first, that much is true; however, after two separate incidents unknown by anyone else that involved mutual life-saving, they became more along the lines of vitriolic best buds (one of my favorite tropes from tv tropes tbh).

dallona’s entrance into the group was much different than the others. you’ll see some of her story later.

rikando and maronia have been best friends since before kindergarten; they were childhood neighbors. they met aven in first grade, and the three of them have been absolutely inseparable since then. maronia met norandina when she was on vacation one year, and she introduced norandina to everyone else the following year.

seth and marco met around fourth grade and were instantly joined at the hip, despite the fact that their personalities are almost total opposites.

kat is an... interesting case. you’ll find out more about her next chapter.

erral is in fact the quirky one.

aaand that’s about all you need to know for now, so until next chapter!